MASTERING THE BALANCE: BE THERE FOR OTHERS WITHOUT LOSING YOURSELF!!!

Have you ever found yourself weighed down by the worries of those around you, feeling as though every problem in your friend's or family member's life suddenly becomes your own? This episode is for those of us who can’t seem to stop our natural inclination to give, give, and give some more. I open up about the personal journey of striking a balance between being there for others and prioritizing my own mental health. 
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Transcript

Speaker 0: 0:00

So y'all cannot be helping everyone and I wanted to make this content because I be giving advice to people, especially family members and friends, and I be giving them so much of my time and my energy because I want to see them win and I want to support them and I want to help them. And where does that got me? That mentally drains my energy, that messes up my peace, that stresses me out. You cannot be helping people so much that their problems become your problems because now you are carrying their burdens and that's not right and that's not fair to you. A lot of us we are just naturally givers and we are empaths, so we feel so many people's energy and we take on so many people's like energy, aura and burdens and we don't notice. But that really damages our mental peace. That really damages, like, our stress levels, because now we worrying about other people's problems, which we should be focusing on our own issues. And I wanted to tell y'all like y'all can't be helping and going above and beyond for people that do not want help, that does not want to take your advice. Y'all can't be trying to be helping people that are so stuck in their ways that they don't want to learn. They don't want to grow, they don't want to change. There's people out here that y'all be trying to help and y'all be giving y'all advice to and y'all be trying to guide, and they're so stuck in their ways they don't want to grow up, they don't want to change, they don't want to do better for themselves. You want to help people so much, but you're losing yourself in the process of helping them out.

Speaker 0: 1:25

Notice that when you are helping people with their problems, make sure you recognize when their problems are becoming your problems, because you are walking around with so much burdens that you don't need to be walking around. You have so much unnecessary burdens and problems and issues from other people when you should be focusing more on yourself, and that's why I always say that sometimes it's okay to be selfish. Sometimes you have to be selfish, not because you're a mean person, not because you're a greedy person, not because you want to see other people suffer. It's not even about that. It's just sometimes you want to just focus on yourself and you want to protect your peace and you want to do what's best for you. You got to just let other people learn things on their own.

Speaker 0: 2:07

When you hit rock bottom, who was there for you. A lot of people that y'all be counting on don't even be there for you. When you going through your stuff, you got to remember that you got out of it on your own and with God, but you got out of it on your own. You had to do it for yourself. You had to make it happen for yourself.

Speaker 0: 2:22

You can't be going above and beyond for other people that does not want the help, because these are the kind of people that will take advantage of you. They take advantage of your kindness, they take advantage of your generosity, and I say this because I was giving someone advice and I was trying to help someone out, like a couple of days ago, but they didn't want my advice, they just wanted to be stuck in their ways. They wanted to be stuck in their ways. They wanted to continue focusing on drama. They wanted to continue focusing on things that were not good for them.

Speaker 0: 2:49

And when you around people that don't want what's best for themselves, you're gonna be around people that don't want what's best for you, because if they really want what's best for you, they would work on being good for themselves so that when you guys are around, it's good energy, is good vibes, you guys are feeding off good energy, but when you around people that are constantly complaining and victimizing themselves and they don't see no wrong, they don't take accountability, they don't take responsibility for their actions, that really drains you. These people are like vampires. They drain your energy. You have to be careful who you put your energy and your time into, because you cannot help everyone, especially when it be your own family, especially when it be your own friends. You can be having other people's problems becoming your problems, and that'd be the issue. That'd be the reason why a lot of your vibration is low and y'all are operating from a low frequency and you guys are constantly like disappointed, or you guys are upset, or you guys are stressed out because you guys are carrying other people's problems.

Speaker 0: 3:49

You got to let people learn the hard way, because I had to learn certain things on my own, and when I learned on my own, I got wiser, I got better, I got stronger, and when you keep enabling people that don't want to grow, they're never going to change. They're always going to be stuck in their ways because they're used to people babying them. We be letting the outside energy disrupt our internal peace, and you know why. It's because we want the best for the people that we love. We really want to be there for them. We're really trying to guide them, but sometimes, when you focus on them a little bit too much and you exhaust all your options trying to help them out, you really hurt yourself. You are doing more damage than good to yourself.

Speaker 0: 4:30

You have to protect your peace and you got to have boundaries, and that's why I'm such a big. I'm a big person when it comes to boundaries, because you don't let other people's issues or outside negativity come into your life and disrupt your peace, because that's not fair to you. Why would you want to walk around carrying other people's burdens and other people's stress when it has nothing to do with you? And if you are giving these people good advice and you're trying to help them out and you're trying to be there for them and they don't want them help, you are wasting your time and your energy. All that time you could have been doing. You could have been focused on something else that's going to benefit you, but instead it's going to hurt you in the long run and you're the one who's going to be stressed out.

Speaker 0: 5:13

What I'm trying to say with this whole content is that you cannot be helping everybody out. Sometimes you just got to learn how to be a little bit selfish, and one thing I've learned about that is that people learn when they hit their rock bottom. But when they constantly got people babying them and enabling their behavior and they're stuck in this victimized mentality, they they're not gonna learn because they're used to everyone picking them up. But don't lose yourself in the process trying to help out your family and your friends. Don't lose your peace because other people around you aren't in pieces. That's all I gotta say to that, and I hope this content can help somebody out and if it did, please like, comment and subscribe.