Protecting Your Relationship from Outside Chaos

Ever wondered why some relationships thrive while others seem constantly plagued by drama? What if the secret lies in how much you share with others? In today's episode, I  tackle the often-overlooked importance of safeguarding your relationship and home from external influences that can bring negativity and chaos. Through compelling personal stories and family dynamics, I'll show you why it's vital to limit the number of people you let into your personal life. Drawing on experiences from our own relationships and those of our parents, I highlight how creating a sanctuary with your partner and children, free from too many external opinions, can lead to a happier and more peaceful home environment.

Chapters

• 0:00 Protecting Your Relationship and Home
• 9:28 Protect Your Relationship and Privacy

Transcript

Speaker 0: 0:00

So one of my videos went viral on TikTok and I was basically talking about why you shouldn't have everybody around your relationship. So I really want to talk about this more specifically. So this is exactly what I'm saying, ladies and gentlemen you should not be having everybody around your relationship. You cannot be trusting everyone. I know I come from a big family and I know as soon as everybody is in my relationship, everyone is involved. Everyone is so nosy. You cannot be trusting everybody around your relationship, especially if you guys are married.

Speaker 0: 0:32

The reason why my mom and my dad they have a very successful and they have a very happy marriage, but they aren't really happy with each other and the reason why is because they don't have a lot of people in their homes. My father puts my mom first and my mom puts my dad first. They don't have so many people, especially relatives, in their homes. They keep everybody away from their relationship, away from their marriage, and this is why I always say you should always keep people away from your relationship. You should never have everybody in your home every single week. I don't care if it's a best friend, I don't care if it's a relative. Don't be having people inside of your home all the time. You need to have that space with your partner. It needs to be your sanctuary, that place of yours and your partner and your kids. That needs to be your peace. So whenever outside negativity or outside trauma is going on, don't bring that outside family drama or outside unnecessary bs inside of your home, because bad energy could really disrupt good things that are happening. Bad energy could just really mess up someone's day.

Speaker 0: 1:34

From what I've been seeing is always the friends that be telling you oh, I would never do such a thing, that be doing it. They're the ones who always be proving you wrong. Like I told y'all in certain of my videos. I never really talked about it specifically but I had a friend since elementary school. Me and her were like sisters. Since preschool and when I was in high school I was with this guy and while I was dating him, me and him would go through our drama, me and him would go through our crap and she would be the friend that I would confide into. She would be the friend that I would cry to. You know she would always have sleepovers at my house, like me and this girl. We were really like sisters. Come to find out when me and him was going through so much. When I was in the 12th grade she was dating him and she was messing around with him and she was sleeping with him. So when I left him I already cut her off because I already knew she was mad, weird and she was just not someone I should be trusting. But she got with him right after I got with him and she was still sleeping with him and she was messing around with him. I mean, long story short, they didn't. They never last. He always apologizes to me. He still apologizes to me to this day.

Speaker 0: 2:40

I don't really care about it, but you can't be trusting everybody. It's always the people that you think will never do something to you be the ones that be stabbing you right in your back. Not everybody around you wants you happy. Not everybody around you wants your relationship or your marriage to succeed. My mom and my dad they have a really good marriage and my mom's siblings. Neither of them are in healthy, happy relationships. They have toxic relationships. Some of them went through divorces. Some of them just got so much drama and negativity and because they see my mom and my dad so happy and that they're thriving in their marriage, they be trying to mess my parents' marriage up and I've been seeing that since I was young. Since I was young I had uncles and I had aunties trying to mess up what my mom and my dad got going on and I see that as jealousy. So I've been seeing that since I was young. People don't really be happy for you when you're happy, when you're doing good, when you're doing better than them. Like your relationship should be off limits.

Speaker 0: 3:39

I'm not saying that you can't have family members around. I'm not saying that you can't have friends. I'm saying don't have everybody around, don't have everyone in your business, don't be having your neighbors in your business, don't be having relatives. Like I always said, relatives is not family. You may be related to them, you may see them every once in a while doesn't mean that you trust them, doesn't mean that they should be in your home and into your personal business. Because when I was on relationship and I would tell outside relatives in my business when me and him would make up, when me and my partner would make up, everybody just had that negative perception about me and my partner. And I remember when I would go to events or gatherings you know people would talk about my business because I told certain people and it would just spread around and you never know who's telling your business.

Speaker 0: 4:25

You don't want to have people around. That's going to disrupt your happiness, that's going to mess up your peace, because these people are in pieces or these people are just not trustworthy, or these people just may have so much drama going on in their life that they're bringing that to your home. That's another thing I've learned now that I have a daughter, now that I'm a single mom. Listen, if we're friends, if we're family, whatever, whatever that you got going on in your household, when you come to my household, don't bring that drama, don't bring that negativity, because I don Don't bring that negativity because I don't want my daughter seeing that, I don't want my daughter feeling that and I don't want to feel that energy in my home. So that's something that you guys got to do. You got to protect your relationship, you got to protect your marriage and you definitely got to protect your home. Protect who goes in and out of your home. Not everyone around you loves you for you. Not everyone around you wants you to win. Not everybody around you wants to see you happy, wants to see you thriving, wants to see you elevating. Just because you're related to these people or just because you have family or just because you have friends, don't mean they all should be going inside of your home. You need to protect your household, you need to protect your kids, you need to protect your relationship. Y'all need to protect y'all.

Speaker 0: 5:33

Peace, peace right now is so hard. It is so hard. It's the most overpriced thing in the world. You can't buy peace, you can't buy happiness. That's something that comes from within and if you don't have that man, you don't really have anything.

Speaker 0: 5:47

One thing I noticed is that people love when you're heartbroken. People love it when you're sad. People love it when you're miserable. When I was going through a heartbreak, when I was going through a breakup in my relationship, everybody was there to sit around and listen to me crying all day and listening to me being sad. But as soon as I started healing, as soon as I started doing what's best for me, what's best for my daughter, what's best for my peace, nobody liked it. Everybody's like oh, she changed. Oh, she don't want to hang out with us anymore. Oh, she thinks she's better than us. Oh, she don't want to be around anymore. No, I don't, because I've healed and I realized that when I got rid of my ex, I got rid of everybody right after him, because I got rid of people that were just phony. I got rid of people that just didn't want to see me win. I got rid of people that did not want to support me. Like you got to pay attention to the people that they're all in your face when you're going through your downfall. They're all in your face when you're crying, because when you're crying and when you're at your rock bottom, when you're at your lowest, I promise you you're going to see more people there for you and you're going to see more people there for you at the top. I really, really noticed that People say, oh, you don't know who's there for you when you hit rock bottom. No, you don't really know who's there for you when you reach to the top, when you start to elevate, when you start doing good, when you start to heal, that's when you see who's really there for you.

Speaker 0: 7:03

When I was going through my heartbreak and I got rid of my ex and I started doing my YouTube channel and I started doing my podcast, that I thought that was going to be there for me, that was going to support me. None of them supported me. They would just look at everything I do. They would be all in my views, never in my likes Me. When I saw that I was like yeah, these people are phony. Like I got to get rid of these people.

Speaker 0: 7:23

That's why you can't have everyone around your relationship, around your home, just around you when you're happy, when you're thriving, when you're at peace. And I'm not saying you can't have friends, I'm not saying you should never have any family. Just know who to have in your circle. Know who to have in your home, because every spirit that walks in your door is not a good spirit. These people be having bad, negative spirits and when they leave out of your house you're wondering why the energy in your house is a little weird. You know and you don't want that.

Speaker 0: 7:51

I'm very intuitive. I tap into my discernment, I tap into my intuition and I'm all about protecting my peace. I'm all about breaking generational curves. You got to be careful who you surrounding yourself with, especially when you're married. You ever been to a vacation right which has significant other? You don't even have to be married. The other couple was having problems in their trip. You and your partner. You're trying to mediate the situation, try to be peaceful, but you got to be careful who you have around you, who has access to you.

Speaker 0: 8:24

Just because you're doing good and you got people in your face smiling, it does not mean that they're really happy for you. And I've said this before when I was with my ex and me and him was going through our drama, there was so many people that was just wishing for us to just break up, wishing for us to end. You know it could be coming from a good place, but I learned not to be telling nobody my business anymore, not to be telling anybody my relationship anymore. Now, if y'all in a relationship and y'all know y'all relationship is toxic and I'm not talking about physical abuse, I'm just talking about like emotionally, mental, I'm just talking about like the relationship is not good for you. Before you open up your mouth and tell your family and tell your friends, make sure you end it with that person first before you go opening up your mouth, because once you tell your business, you tell your drama to other people. They're going to add on to the drama. They're going to be like oh yeah, you should just leave this person Like they're going to hype it up. They're going to put that battery in your bag and it's only going to make it worse.

Speaker 0: 9:28

Whatever you and your partner got going on, even if you don't want to break up with them, even if you're not breaking up, you're just going through a rough time. Try to keep that to yourself, because as soon as you're going through a rough time or you're going through rough seasons, people on the outside is going to be like oh yeah, y'all should just break up. You're never happy. They're already feeding on that bad energy. And then you're going to start to believe it, and whatever you start to believe is what you're going to continue to see.

Speaker 0: 9:48

Relationships is not easy, especially if you want marriage. Marriage is forever. You don't just walk up and just leave that person because you're going through tough times. And pay attention to the people that you surround yourself with, because if they're in unhealthy relationships and they're in toxic marriages or there were partners that treat them bad, they're going to give you bad advice. They're going to give you bad advice. Basically, what I'm trying to say is don't be having everybody around your relationship. Don't be telling everybody about your relationship. Always protect your loved ones, your peace, your home, your car, your car. Protect what you got. Protect it. You could be in the most happiest relationship. Protect it. Don't tell everybody that you're in the most happiest relationship, because everybody's not going to be happy for you. You know people are going to be wishing bad on you. That is the content for today and if you like this content, please like, comment and subscribe, and I'll be back for more videos.