KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP PRIVATE: AVOID THE PITFALLS OF OVERSHARING!!!

Ever felt the sting of betrayal after sharing too much about your relationship with friends or family? Discover how seemingly innocent gossip can spiral into drama and heartbreak, from friendships fracturing to partners being swiped. Through personal anecdotes and real-life examples, I explore why preserving privacy in sensitive matters is crucial for maintaining trust and respect in your relationship. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Reasons to Avoid Oversharing Relationships
• 10:25 Importance of Setting Relationship Boundaries

Transcript

Speaker 0: 0:00

What up beautiful people. So the three biggest reasons why a lot of y'all should not be over sharing your relationships to your friends. I just think this is so weird. Number one you should not be over sharing your relationship, business or personal petty issues to your friends, because sharing too many intimate details can lead to gossiping, it can lead to drama, it can lead to messy situations.

Speaker 0: 0:24

There was a time in my life, right when I was working at a retail store and I was so cool with one of my coworkers. She would gossip so much about her relationship with this guy that she was sleeping with and she told one of the girls that we was working with like his penis size, how their sex life is amazing. One of our friends, one of our mutual friends in the job, turned around and she was sleeping with my co-workers, you know, side piece, on the side behind her back, and it caused so much drama, it caused so much friction at work. That's why I really don't believe in telling your friends, even your family, your whole entire business of your relationship like listen, ladies and gentlemen, if you are not in danger, if it's not an emergency, it's not something that you should be telling your friends. I get it. There's times where we want to vent to our family members or even our friends about our relationship, but I feel like, if it is so petty you guys just woke up and you guys was arguing about who didn't wash the dishes that's not something that you need to be telling your friend like. I really think now that I just turned 30 years old, I just have a whole perspective on like relationships and friendships. Like there's that fine line. You do not need to be oversharing everything about your partner to your friends. There's not a lot of friends in this world that you can trust.

Speaker 0: 1:42

Now that I'm older and I'm wiser and I've been through so many experiences I've said this and I mentioned this so many times but my high school relationship the guy that I was like so madly in love with at that time, him and my best friend, was sleeping with each other behind my back and, mind you, this best friend that I had, she was like a sister to me, like I told her everything. Like we grew up together. You know me and her. We're not friends anymore because of my ex. Like he caused our friendship to end, like he is the reason why and she is the reason why we're no longer friends, but she was the person that I would cry to, I would vent to, I would tell all my problems and, mind you, this girl, I would tell all my problems. And mind you, this girl, she would always have my back. She would always telling me advice. You know, she would always telling me, oh, leave him, you could do so much better, he's not even worth it. And to turn around, she was sleeping with him right behind my back. That was such a betrayal. That was like one of the hardest things that I've been through when I was in high school, like it really taught me so much about friendship.

Speaker 0: 2:44

So I've learned this from a young age, ladies and gentlemen, especially men, like A lot of y'all men, y'all can't be trusting y'all homeboys. Y'all really can't, because when I was dating someone his homeboys they would try to talk to me on the side. So I know when y'all men, y'all be telling y'all homeboys about some girls that y'all into, some girls y'all sleeping with and y'all telling y'all homeboys that y'all sex life is good, you don't think your homeboys is gonna turn around when you and her fall out and is gonna try to sleep with her or is gonna try to link up with her. Y'all cannot be trusting. Y'all homies, y'all can't be trusting. Certain things should not be overshared. You shouldn't be oversharing your relationship to your friends, especially like, let's say, the the arguments is so petty. Let's say, you meet up with your friend or a family member and you're like, oh, he's getting me on my nerves, like I don't want to talk to him. Or you know, you guys are just venting to your friends or your family members. A lot of your friends, especially your family members, they start to cloud your judgment. When you're in a relationship, you really got to learn how to keep certain things to yourself. And that goes on to number two. You got to stop oversharing with other people.

Speaker 0: 3:57

If you are locked in with someone men and women and women I just really want to like emphasize this, because sometimes gas significant others be having like deep-rooted secrets and traumas and it's just between you and him, like that person is just sharing it with you. It's not for you to go tell your family members. It's definitely not for you to be telling your friends or your co-workers if your person really confided in to you about a trauma or something that happened in their childhood, something that is really important to them something that is very a sensitive subject. That's not for you to be telling your friends or your family. I just think that is so disrespectful and that is betrayal. Like if something happened between you and him and it's not like an emergency. It's not like you're in danger. It's not like your life is at risk. It's not like your children's life is at risk, like this person is just telling you something that is very like sentimental to them or something that is very deep to them, or something that is just very private. Because you know, when you're in relationships, a lot of the time when y'all be talking to your partners, it's meant to be private. It's meant between you and that person.

Speaker 0: 4:57

It is not for you, ladies and men too, for y'all to be gossiping and be telling your friends and your family that, like that's just so messed up. How do you want to be with someone who's loyal and someone who's faithful but you running around telling your partner's business to your friends, to homies, to your family members that's not right when you arguing with your partner and you throw that insecurity in their face and I know this is like a whole nother topic. But relationships are meant to be like protected, and it's supposed to be kind of like a safe place, kind of like a safe haven. So if your partner is telling you some things, maybe that's bothering him, maybe that hurting him, maybe he's going through financial issues. It's not for you to be turning around and venting to your friends, to your family. First of all, I'm a Latina, I'm Puerto Rican and Dominican. In my family, everybody just talks about each other. Everybody spreads each other's business. If you know you Puerto Rican or you Spanish and you grew up in a Hispanic household, you know once you tell your business to someone, it spreads. You already know that If you and your partner, you guys, are sharing intimate things, deep conversations, things that needs to be secretive, you in the relationship needs to keep that protected.

Speaker 0: 6:12

Don't let outside negativity mess up what y'all got or affect what y'all got. I'm gonna be honest I really believe that friends and family could really kind of like cloud your judgment. Not only that, but they can give you some bad advice. They don't understand and let's say, you and your partner, right, you guys are arguing about something so petty. They be the first ones like, yeah, those are the signs. Like yeah, maybe you need to. Just you need your space, like they give you negativity advice. They give you advice that's only gonna hurt the relationship more and it's just so messed up. It's so much crazy things that is happening. But keep your relationship protected, like keep it between you and that person.

Speaker 0: 6:51

Like I said, if you're not in danger, if your life is not at risk, why are you telling your partner's business to everybody? This is a relationship. This is someone you're supposed to be built with. You're supposed to build with. This is someone you're supposed to be loyal and hold it down, and vice versa. It's just too many things that I've witnessed and I've learned from like I've really learned when I was in high school not to be loyal and hold it down and vice versa. It's just too many things that I've witnessed and I've learned from like I've really learned when I was in high school not to be telling my relationship business to anybody, even my best friend, because my best friend was the one who was sleeping with him behind my back. He was grimy and she was grimy. So I've just learned a lot since I was in high school and me now, as a 30 year old woman, I just know to keep certain things protected and just between me and my partner, one of the biggest reasons why you shouldn't over over share your relationship. You should not be telling your friends, family, co-workers, listen, even your neighbors about your relationship problems, because I'm gonna give you a perfect example.

Speaker 0: 7:44

So I've known someone that was in a toxic marriage for over a decade and she would confide into me so many times about the same relationship problems. Like this man was just cheating on her, this man was always disrespecting her, this man had a mistress on the side and he was just doing this person that I love so dirty, like he was doing her so dirty. And you know me being, you know someone that she confides into and someone that she trusted. And like I really love this girl so much. I would give her so much advice. I would be there for her through the tears, through the stress. And I'm not gonna lie, I'm just gonna be a hundred percent honest with y'all.

Speaker 0: 8:27

But if you guys are in toxic relationships or even marriages, or even situationships, or even friendships, you guys are going through the same thing. You mean to tell me, 10 years later, five years later, y'all still going through the same thing. Your friends and your family don't want to hear it. We are tired of it, like we are drained. It becomes a burden to us. Your drama becomes our drama.

Speaker 0: 8:51

Because I'm an empath, I feel energy, like if you're constantly. You're constantly telling me the same issues over and over again and I've been giving you the same solutions, I've been telling it to you in so many different ways and it's still not getting. It's still not getting to you. It's still not clicking in. It's still not sinking. I don't. It's still not clicking in. It's still not syncing. I don't wanna hear it. I'm telling you right now unless you have some really fake friends and family members that they love to hear your drama and they're so entertained by your misery. Then that's another story.

Speaker 0: 9:20

But me personally, I can't stand it when people tell me the same issues again and again. It's almost like you're complaining about the same thing and you're not doing anything to find a solution, you're not doing what is best for you. That just becomes overwhelming, that becomes draining. That just makes me in pieces, like the piece that I had. It just makes me in pieces. Oversharing the same thing is not really cool and we just don't want to hear it.

Speaker 0: 9:46

And the reason why I say that Is because when I was in a toxic relationship. For four years Four years y'all. I was in this toxic relationship. I would complain about the person I was with To the same people and after a while it was draining for me to keep complaining about him, for me to keep crying about him, stressing about him, cursing about him. My energy would be low, like my vibe would be off. I would feel so overwhelmed and I would feel so drained and I would get sick and tired of myself complaining about this person, crying about this person, going to bed, hurt, mad. So I could only imagine what it's like on the other side when you're hearing it from the same person for years.

Speaker 0: 10:25

I don't want to hear about it and I'm telling you right now. Your friends and your family don't want to hear about it either. After a while it gets old, it gets boring, the narrative expires and what are you doing about it to make it better? What are you doing about it to become better? Like? Are you learning? Are you growing from your experience or are you just going to keep complaining about it? Whoever you're dating, whoever you're locked in with, keep it very respectful, have boundaries. I really think it's important to have boundaries when you're in a relationship, when you're married, like whoever you are locked in with, there needs to be major, major boundaries. Those are the major reasons why you should not overshare your relationships and I hope I hope this is very relatable to some of y'all. You guys understand what I'm saying, and then until next time I'll be back for more videos.