IS THE HOLIDAYS BECOMING A BURDEN??!!

Ever feel overwhelmed by the commercial frenzy of holiday gift-giving? You're not alone. This episode shines a light on the unspoken stress many face during the festive season, from the financial burdens to the emotional challenges like dealing with loss or relationship changes. Sharing personal stories and insights, I empathize with those who find themselves struggling and offer a refreshing perspective on how to find genuine happiness. Discover how small, meaningful activities and creating lasting memories can replace the stress of material expectations, leading to a more fulfilled and joyful holiday experience.

Chapters

• 0:00 The Burden of Holiday Gift Giving
• 8:31 Navigating Expectations and Generosity

Transcript

Speaker 0: 0:00

What a beautiful people for Haley's here. So I'm constantly always hearing that people just don't like the holidays, that people hate it because it's just becoming such a burden and it's becoming stressful. And I understand for the people that has lost a loved one. They don't really have a family, they don't really have a loved one, they don't have a support system. Like I understand the grief part. I understand if you're doing holidays without that person, without that family member, but I just feel like nowadays it's just becoming such a burden. I feel like holidays are supposed to be joyous time. It's supposed to be the time of the year, it's supposed to be how you want it to be. And I'm just constantly hearing from so many people that it's just becoming a burden. It's becoming the most stressful, most depressing time of year. And let me just tell you, even if you lost a loved one, even if you're going through a divorce, if you're going through a breakup, if you're going through something um, very unfortunate, very sad, you can still try to enjoy the holidays in your own way. You can take the time off to grieve, to be hurt, to be sad, but you genuinely deserve to be happy, no matter what you're going through. Ladies and gentlemen, just know that you deserve to be happy, even in the most joyfullest, even in the most hardest time of the year, and I understand that. It just really makes me sad that a lot of people are starting to hate it, not necessarily because of a loved one. A lot of people that I know, like relatives, friends, a lot of people that I know that I hate it is because of finances. I'm starting to feel the burden that everybody else is feeling because I am such a holiday person. I love the holidays.

Speaker 0: 1:33

Even when I was going through one of the toughest breakups of my entire life, I was leaving a toxic relationship. I separated myself from so many people, especially family members I still was loving the holidays because I saw it more as peace. I've seen it that I free myself from so much animosity, from so much negativity, from so much toxicity, from so much stress. I want to be around people that can fill my cup, that can give me good energy. I don't want to be around people that drains me. Even when I was going through so much like about two years ago, I was really going through so much emotionally, mentally, my peace was so disrupted. I was not in a good headspace. Like I said, I was living one of the most toxic relationships ever.

Speaker 0: 2:15

I still found ways to make my holidays as joyful as I can, doing things that makes me happy, which, to me, little things really really make me happy, like going to see the tree, going to the stores and hearing holiday music and, you know, having a cup of coffee, or just doing things with a friend that I trust, or doing things with like a sibling that I trust. Doing something, you know whether it's by yourself or you're doing it with a friend, or you're doing it with a family member, or you're doing it with your kids. Little things like that, for me, it really goes the long way. For you guys who have big families, you know you're probably going through a budget or a finance crisis. I feel like you should not have to take that burden upon yourself. I've noticed I don't know why, but this is especially in a lot of families, and hispanic families as well people don't really care about your finances, people don't care about your budget and they just want you to spend money on them. Because they just want you to spend money on them, it benefits them and it hurts your pocket and me.

Speaker 0: 3:13

I broke that cycle within my family. I be telling them because I be going through it too. You know, the struggle is real and I tell them, like how about we just don't gift each other this year? Let's not gift each other, because the holidays should not be about spending money. It shouldn't be about the presents. It should be about really like family time. It should be about having that time with your loved ones, making it special, making it memorable, saying it right, making it like memory, having that bond. It should not be about the presents.

Speaker 0: 3:41

And I had this conversation with my sister the other day. I was telling her I'm like I hated that the holidays everybody just focuses on spending money and buying presents, even when they can't afford to. I was having that conversation with her and I was like you know, we should not buy each other gifts. Let's not buy each other gifts. Let's do something like. Let's do an experience, let's make a memory that we will all enjoy. The gifts is not going to bring us together. The gifts is only going to bring everybody resentment.

Speaker 0: 4:08

Because I noticed, even with families, when you buy one person one gift and let's say that gift is more expensive than the others, the other family member starts to be resentment, they start to be bitter about it, people become ungrateful and it's just so much drama. So for my mental peace, for my wellbeing and for my bank account because I come from a huge family I tell them we're not doing this gift giving. I just want to take care of my daughter, my child, I want to take care of my home and when Christmas comes, I just want us all to do something together. Let's all do an event, let's all be together. Let's just make it family time, not gift giving time.

Speaker 0: 4:46

So I feel like, for a lot of people, if they're not losing, if they're not grieving a loved one or a relationship, a breakup, a divorce, whatever it is, I feel like the reason why a lot of y'all just have this burden during the holidays is because y'all know y'all got to splurge so much, whether it's on y'all family, whether it's on y'all friends, whether it's on y'all coworkers, and that just becomes too stressful. Even y'all neighbors y'all splurge on y'all neighbors. I just find this so stressful. I find it sometimes. I'm gonna be honest, I kind of find it unnecessary. I stand on this. But if you do not want to buy family members a gift, don't do it. Just do not do it. Tell them listen, we're not doing gifts this year. Let's not buy each other gifts. Let's just enjoy the day. Let's just seize the moment. Let's do an experience.

Speaker 0: 5:33

I feel like your real family, your real friends. Whoever you surround yourself with, whoever is in your inner circle, should understand. I just hear so many conversations of me, especially within my family. I just hear so many conversations like oh, this is the most stressful time. I got to buy this, I got to buy this, then I'm going to be in credit card debt, then I got all these bills to pay. And it shouldn't have to be like that. The holidays should not have to be like that. It should not have to be stressful. You should not be going in debt for your family. You shouldn't no-transcript got them something and then you going in credit card debt or you struggling with your bills. That's not fair for you either, and I think that's where the burden and that's where the resentment and that's why a lot of people hate the holidays.

Speaker 0: 6:36

The holidays shouldn't be about that. I don't believe it should be about going in debt, going bankrupt, just to put a smile on other people's face and you're left alone picking up the pieces. You're left alone, suffering behind closed doors. I do not like that. I just think that is so toxic and for so many years growing up I've seen this happen so many times and for me, all I want for this Christmas is just the gift of peace for everybody. Not just for me, but for everybody. I want everybody to have peace. Don't worry about buying me something. Don't worry about buying my child something. Worry about your bills. Worry about you.

Speaker 0: 7:10

Catch up on what you have to catch up on, like the holidays should just be about celebrating it with your loved ones and doing things, doing little things that can make you happy, even if it's going to an experience, even if you guys are just having game night or movie night or you guys are cooking dinner together. You don't have to spend money to make the holidays memorable. You don't have to waste so much money. You don't have to go into debt. You don't have to max out your credit cards just to make it the season. I feel like if we do things strategically, financially, a lot of people wouldn't have this burden.

Speaker 0: 7:44

All I'm saying is I know y'all want to give something to y'all kids. Y'all kids go first, but outside of that, don't force it, don't force yourself to splurge money on other people. If you are going through a hard time financially and the reason why I say this is because people don't like the season, really because of a financial standpoint and what I'm trying to tell y'all is if you can't do it, don't do it. Take care of your kids first, if that's what you want to do. If you want to spend money on your kids, then go for it. If you have more than enough money to spend on your whole family, spend on your friends, spend on your loved ones, then go for it. But if you financially cannot do it because you have a goal, you have a plan, you're trying to catch ahead of your bills or you're probably struggling right now, or you just cannot do it, or you just don't want to do it then don't do it.

Speaker 0: 8:31

I feel like right now we're living in a world where everybody's just counting favors. I can't stand when I'm out with friends and they're like oh, I got you, so you got me next time. Like why are we counting favors? If you're going through a loss or if you're grieving, know that you are not alone, but also remember that you do deserve to be happy. You do deserve to find the joy, even in the midst of this chaos or this rough time. You don't have to be sad all day, every day. God did not bring you this far just so he could lose you. And for those who are financially struggling or going through a financial crisis, please be smart about your decisions.

Speaker 0: 9:08

This holiday season, don't go over for people that it's not really going to go over for you or your kids. And if you want to go over for people and it's genuine, don't always expect something in return. That's where you're always going to be disappointed and you're going to have resentment and you're going to be bitter and I see this all the time like, oh, I got this person such a nice gift and they got me this crappy gift. Listen, if you got them a nice gift and it's from your heart, then be happy that you got them a nice gift. And if they get you a crappy gift, then just accept it. Just accept it as long as your intentions was pure and genuine. That's really all that matters. God will multiply that back for you Like, comment, share and subscribe, and I'll be back for more videos.