Choose Joyy Podcast
Based on the mood and habit tracking Joyyful Planner, the Choose Joyy podcast is focused on self alignment for those who struggle with anxiety. Through these unpredictable times, we’ve all experienced moments of self-doubt and uncertainty. By making a conscious effort to choose joy daily, we allow ourselves to heal and grow into the path destined for us. Join me weekly to unpack, affirm, and choose joy.
Choose Joyy Podcast
"Shame on me for changing"
Are you grappling with toxic perfectionism? Yearning for a metamorphosis that propels you forward instead of holding you back? Let's navigate the rough waters of personal growth. We begin by piercing the veil of perfectionism, focusing on progress rather than flawless execution. Using the power of introspection, let's break free from outdated habits and initiating the journey towards your future self. Remember, it's not about becoming someone new, but unearthing the best version of you that's been lying dormant all along.
Switching gears, we delve into how our surroundings, including the people we choose to surround ourselves with, influence our capacity for change. Growth is not a one-size-fits-all process. Evolving doesn't mean you discard your old self; rather, you cherish who you were and leverage that to shape who you are becoming. So, gear up for an enlightening discussion that will inspire you to embrace change and celebrate your journey of growth. Remember, it's not just okay to outgrow yourself, it's absolutely vital for personal evolution. So GROW and CHOOSE JOYY
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You've made it to the Choose Joy podcast. Here we make a conscious effort to choose joy. Daily, we allow ourselves to heal and grow into the path designed for us. Join me to unpack, affirm and choose joy. Hey, y'all, and welcome back. And when I say welcome back, I'm talking to the both of us because it has been a minute. It has been a minute since we last talked, but I'm back. I want to speak on that before we get into episode eight. I miss y'all and I hope that y'all have missed me.
Speaker 1:Honestly, life has been lifeing and that is just the truth of the matter. I've just been missing in action and a part of it also is just a little part that I want to talk about with y'all, and that's toxic perfectionism. I feel like I've just been in this perfectionist loop and I've put perfection, or perfecting my craft, as my priority versus content and just sharing things, whether the good, the bad, the ugly, no matter how they come off or how they look. And I feel like my lesson in that, because my mommy's always tell us what did you learn from that? Yeah, that happened to you, but what did you learn from it? And I just learned when you keep your head down trying to perfect every little thing. You're going to look up and realize that it's been days, weeks, now months that you haven't put out anything right Because you were just so laser focused on this one topic or this one part of your life. And the lesson is just don't get stuck on perfection. Prioritize the progress and the speed of your goals and really just turn your creative taste into inspiration for your next project. Also, you just have to be open to transforming your practice into different disciplines, however that might look with your timing, or just the progression. It's really about progress versus perfection. If that makes sense, you just have to start. And if you keep thinking about starting, you've never left the start line, like you're never going to meet the finish line. So just do it. Literally, nike, just do it. That's just a little bit of what I've been dealing with, and it's perfect for this season because, if you don't know, now you do.
Speaker 1:This is the Ember season September, october, november, you get it, the Embers and then during this time it can bring on bouts of feelings of anxiety, pressure, loneliness. We're getting to those colder months, so I really want to hone down on our mental health and the topics that we discussed. So we're all in babes, episode eight. I want to call this episode the makings of you. I'm not sure yet.
Speaker 1:We all hear this, it'll already be named but pretty much reinventing yourself, chapters of yourself, versions of yourself, just that whole spill and what really that means to me and how it can maybe impact your life. How well would you say that you know yourself. We're not the same person that we were five years ago, 10 years ago, two months from now. We might not be the same person, both biologically and psychologically. A lot of the times we live our lives on autopilot and then you look up and it's been two years, three years, five years. You know and you might be doing the same thing and all of a sudden you kind of feel stuck. You just feel in a mental block, like writer's block. But your life, and it could mean that you're just stuck in between a version of yourself, like breaking old habits into new habits. If you've been following the choose joy train, you know that we've tapped into a couple of things that we'll talk about today, such as letting go to create space for something new and breaking and forming new habits, and all of that is cohesive into quote unquote reinventing yourself. Society has just been so accustomed to using labels to stereotype and group people and it almost makes you feel like you have an expectation to live up to or, depending on your background, you may really do have an expectation to live up to, and sometimes it can be hard for us to Realize that. You can be multifaceted. You can do multiple things. You don't have to be stuck in a box or a one track mindset. You can, like I said before, be multifaceted, occupy different spaces. It's hard to escape labels, but it's even harder living as somebody that you've always wanted to change and just didn't. It's okay to outgrow yourself. Let me say that again for the people in the back it is okay to outgrow yourself. So sometimes those bouts of uncertainty and feelings of being stuck are really like I said you transitioning into a new chapter of your life and you simply just outgrowing yourself. So you need to give yourself space and room to grow, and that is where our habits come in letting go. You have to let go in order to create space for something new.
Speaker 1:On the pod, we talked about cleaning right, spring cleaning and spring cleaning in our lives. Well, we're in the fall and winter months. What do we do now? We still constantly have to let go and create space for new things. Over time, we occupy things in our life, just like we occupy things in our spaces, in our living quarters, right. And just like you recycle and donate and clear out things to bring home new things, you have to do that the same with your body, your mental space, where you are physically, mentally, spiritually, all of that.
Speaker 1:You gotta get rid of some stuff in order to create space for where you're going. So where you went, you gotta let your past go. You have to let go of old versions of yourself, whether that's simple things as in hair and dress, or more important things like habits and people. And, honestly, it's easier said than done. It really requires true authenticity, it requires discipline and solitude. It's a real, true journey of self-discovery and it's personal, it's very personal. You gotta be true to you to figure out the version of who you are now and where you wanna be. And, honestly, that just has been thinking of an alter ego, and the legit definition of alter ego is other I in Latin, a trusted friend, right, and we've talked about this Talking to yourself the way you would a friend, treating yourself the way you would, a trusted friend, caring about yourself, putting that self-care in and pouring into yourself so that you have something to give to others.
Speaker 1:And I really like the concept of having an alter ego and I've tried to embody it in my life in a couple of ways in the past few weeks. And that started out with me creating a list of pivotal shells, Top tier me, my alter ego. What does that look like? What does she do in the morning? What does her routine look like? What type of job does she have? Where does she live? How does she talk to people? How does she view herself? Then I created another list of where I'm at now. What am I doing now, what is my morning routine, night routine, et cetera. And then I compared the two.
Speaker 1:And if that does not teach you about yourself, y'all know I like to write things down and I encourage you guys to write things down, as this podcast was founded on a journal. But when you have a visual of what things look like, it really helps you put things into perspective and it helps you adjust where your goals need to be. And that leads me into the next thing create goals. I suggest three to five. Keep it cute, keep it short, sweet. I feel like the more goals you try to add to a list, the more unattainable it gets and the more you don't check off, because then it feels like a list of things that you have to do and not realistic, attainable timed goals. So I would take three to five goals that you have for yourself, whether they be short term or long term. Alongside that, try something new.
Speaker 1:Change requires change and you can't change your life unless you change something. If you always do which always did, you go get what you always got, period. But pick up a new hobby, learn a new skill. For example, I just picked up crocheting and I am obsessed okay, obsessed. I've made hats. Yeah, it's gonna be on the website, just wait, just hold you know, but we not in here to plug that, but plug. So not only is it a new hobby, but it's a skill and it's something that I enjoy doing and I feel like I can just add to this version of myself and sometimes creating this new version of yourself or stepping into a better, you require solitude. I've been MIA for a couple of months.
Speaker 1:If that says anything but solitude, and there's a difference between solitude and loneliness we're not gonna do a deep dive into that, but I feel like, yeah, I feel like that's for another episode and that will be a part of our inverse season. Just talking about solitude and what that looks like separating yourself to get better, taking those moments, those very personal moments, stepping away from some of the things that we're used to in the environments that we're used to being in, to grow and to better ourselves, to switch our tanks, if that makes sense, and just also the difference between not only solitude and loneliness, but cycles and seasons. So we'll tap into that. And then, finally, your friend group. And sometimes, when you change or when you grow or when you grow, not everybody is growing with you. Okay. Sometimes, when you're having your glow up, they mean not everybody is glowing, sometimes it's only you, and that's okay too. And I do wanna tap into that further in another episode as well, because I feel like I can go on a whole spill about friends. So, honestly, that's just some ways to better yourself, get out of your funk, your feelings of being stuck. Transition, just different ways to help yourself grow and, like I said, transition through your journey and at the end of the day, it all boils down to how well, would you say that you know yourself? Do you even know yourself? This is all about getting to know who you are, and once you understand who you are, it'll be better for you to determine who you want to be and what that looks like for you in terms of how you're gonna get there.
Speaker 1:And that leads me into my favorite segment of the pod, and that's Chels Chat. That's where I open the floor for your discussion points, your opinions on whatever topic that we're discussing. If you want to tap into this, go to the site or be on the lookout on our Instagram page for the open question. But I didn't even tell y'all. Hold on, we got a website. Yeah, we got a website. We got an Instagram. We got a Twitter. You know our social media girl is running it up, and when I say our social media girl, I mean me, because I don't got a team yet Yet. So again, if you want to be a part of the next Chels Chat, tap into the website, be updated and be on the lookout for our social media pages and what we have.
Speaker 1:But on the Chels Chat, for this episode it was do you think people can really change? So, for the majority, surprisingly, a lot of you guys said yes, definitely yes. Someone said no, but I believe God can amen. But this response stood out to me the most. It says sometimes you can change. Other times it's almost like once you've shown who you are the first time, people will never believe anything else.
Speaker 1:You try, slash, reinvent yourself to be, and honestly, I feel like that is where changing your environment helps, or changing the people that are around you, because not everybody wants to see you win. I hate to say it, I hate to be the bearer of bad news if you don't want to hear that today, but if you didn't know, now you do. Not everybody wants to see you grow, not everybody wants to see you win. And it makes me think of this meme which I'll post. But it's two people, and one of them only have vines and the other one, like, has grown, with, like flowers and all of that, and the one with just vines says, oh, you've changed. And the other one with the flowers goes we're supposed to. And that's exactly how I feel, like a lot of people will look at you and be like, oh, like, you're a totally different person, and you may in fact, be.
Speaker 1:It reminds me of that Jenae Aiko lyric shame on me for changing, nah, shame on you for staying the same. So it's okay to change, it's okay to grow into a better version of yourself, and if you're feeling stuck in a bout of uncertainty, it could just mean that you might need to just grow. You might just be outgrowing yourself. So grow, reinvent yourself, celebrate and love on the past versions of you while creating new makings of you, because, all in all, all of those versions, all of those chapters are in the same book. At the end of the day, you're you and no one can take that from you. Choose Joy 젠.