Choose Joyy Podcast
Based on the mood and habit tracking Joyyful Planner, the Choose Joyy podcast is focused on self alignment for those who struggle with anxiety. Through these unpredictable times, we’ve all experienced moments of self-doubt and uncertainty. By making a conscious effort to choose joy daily, we allow ourselves to heal and grow into the path destined for us. Join me weekly to unpack, affirm, and choose joy.
Choose Joyy Podcast
Happiness: Optional, Not Required
Ever been told to "just be positive" when you're struggling? Or maybe you've caught yourself dismissing your own feelings with "it could be worse"? That's toxic positivity—and it's actually doing more harm than good.
In this eye-opening episode, we dive deep into the world of forced happiness. I break down the subtle ways toxic positivity shows up in our lives, from well-meaning phrases like "everything happens for a reason" to the pressure we put on ourselves to always appear happy. Research shows that suppressing emotions doesn't make them disappear—it actually increases stress levels, weakens our immune system, and can manifest as physical ailments.
The truth is, all emotions are valid and necessary. Real healing doesn't come from ignoring our struggles but from acknowledging them while maintaining hope.
Yes, this podcast is called Choose Joy—but authentic joy requires honoring all parts of your emotional experience, not just the sunshine and rainbows. Let's build a community where we can keep it real while still believing in better days ahead. Text me your thoughts, share this episode with someone who might need it, and remember: it's perfectly okay to not be okay sometimes.
Don't forget to text us to be featured on the next episode of Chels Chats!
Visit www.choosejoyy.com for more
You've made it to the Choose Joy podcast. Here we make a conscious effort to choose joy. Daily we allow ourselves to heal and grow into the path designed for us. Join me to unpack, affirm and choose joy. Choose Joy podcast. It's your girl, chels, and today is episode 18. But before we dive in, I just wanted to take a moment to read a few of the text slash comments that we got. From the text line, obviously and should I call it a hotline? Anyway, leave your reviews. Should I call it a hotline? But anyway, from the text line and the website. I didn't have enough content to really make this whole episode a Chelsea chat situation. So please, after you, listen to this text, your questions, text what you want to be featured on the pod, what you want to talk about. I really want to build on this community. Choose Joy is a community and I can't do that if I don't talk to y'all, and anybody that knows me knows I love to chat. So let's keep the conversation going y'all, but let's dive into some of these texts. Love the energy in this episode.
Speaker 1:The way you framed uncertainty as just a stupid voice in our heads really hit home. So often we stop ourselves before we even try. That is a word yeah, ditto, okay. Another one you mentioned looking back, but not staying there. What are some healthy ways to reflect without getting caught in regret? Honestly just moving forward. Um, I did say look back, but not in the sense of regret or trying to make a different decision. All the decisions that you've made up until this point has led you here, and what's going to help you is just moving forward, going on whether you needed to make better decisions or whether you needed to stay rooted in the decisions that you already made. I feel like moving forward. So, yeah, look back, but in a sense of oh my goodness, like look what the Lord has brought me from amen, and in a way to encourage you to move forward. So, yeah, just don't dwell in it. It's easy to feel motivated after listening to you, but how do we keep that energy going throughout the year? I guess, just like I said to the last comment, move forward. You may stop, but time isn't. It's going to keep going. But one thing to remember at the end of the day, the day got to end Okay, so it might be a bad time, it's not a bad life. And, yeah, just find ways to keep you motivated what keeps me motivated may not keep you motivated or the next person. You need to find that, that oomph, that push, that you need to keep going. And, yeah, affirmations always work, um, talk yourself up, make yourself feel good, but also do things to where it's your reality, um, and that, honestly, just leads into the episode.
Speaker 1:Let's just get into it y'all. Thank you for those texts and please continue to send them. Give me some topics, give me what y'all want to talk about. What are you going through? Um, give me the real like. I want to chit chat for real and be on the lookout for guest speakers that will be coming on to the pod and that could be. You Just reach out, okay.
Speaker 1:So today we're getting into a topic that a lot of us have probably experienced but may not even realize, and that's toxic positivity. You know those moments where you're like struggling and instead of support, you get hit with a just be grateful, or everything happens for a reason, or stay positive. Yeah, we talking about that. We're talking about what it is, why it's actually harmful and what we can do to shift to a more balanced and healthy mindset. So grab your coffee, tea, whatever keeps you cozy, and let's get into it, okay. So let's break this down.
Speaker 1:Positivity is supposed to be a good thing, right, like the podcast is called Choose Joy for God's sake. But when it becomes toxic, it turns into a pressure to always be happy, always be grateful and just never acknowledge your pain or struggle, and it just feels like putting a bandaid on a broken bone. It doesn't help and it's actually probably making things worse. And that can sound like it could be worse. Or at least you have a insert your random silver lining't be so negative. Um, or my personal favorite, there's somebody else that's like worse off than you. Yes, all those things are true and perspective is important, but dismissing your feelings or dismissing someone else's feelings doesn't help you or the next person heal. It just makes you feel unseen.
Speaker 1:And, honestly, when we ignore our real emotions and try to force happiness, we're not actually healing or growing. We're just suppressing and bottling up our emotions. And y'all emotions don't just disappear because we ignore them and we shouldn't only focus on the positive ones. We've talked about that. All of our emotions are important. They're there for a reason. When you keep suppressing something, it's going to show up in other ways, such as anger, burnout, depression, even physical problems with your body headache, tension, stress is a killer. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about the dangers of actually being stressed out. Psychologists have actually found that suppressing emotions can increase stress levels and weaken our immune system. They're hand in hand. I mean, we already suffering from the pollen y'all. Let's not add another factor. And guess what? When we tell ourselves that we shouldn't feel sad or angry or frustrated, we actually already feel worse.
Speaker 1:Let's be real, like have you ever had a tough day and someone tells you be grateful instead of actually listening to what you had to say? Or you lost a job and instead of supporting you? Everything happens for a reason Like hello. That's toxic positivity. It's invalidating and it makes you feel like you have to fake happiness instead of actually working through your emotions. It causes people, including myself, to feel shame, like I should be grateful because you should, and guilt and it avoids all authentic human emotion. We forgot to keep it real.
Speaker 1:Everyone is living their life as if this is a constant instagram live like no, you're human and, honestly, it's a form of gaslighting, in my opinion, because it's a false narrative of reality. I, I just told you my car broke down. I, I know it will be fine, but it's not fine right now. Okay, you just brush off the problems rather than actually facing them, and it causes you to feel like you have to hide your true feelings and, in all honesty, it's okay to just not be okay for a moment. So now that we know what toxic positivity is and why it's harmful, let's talk about what we can do instead.
Speaker 1:Because real positivity that real, real positivity, that real, unspeakable joy, from the soles of your feet to the crown of your head, that you feel, that real, pure, authentic Happiness that's the kind that actually helps, and it isn't about ignoring your struggles but actually acknowledging them while still having hope that things will change. So I broke it into five ways that we can actually practice positive positivity. A double P, okay. So? Number one we can validate feelings Instead of those just stay positive or look on the bright side and even choose joy can be a problem, depending on the situation. Read the room. You can say I see that you're hurting. I'm here for you, I'm listening. Wherever I can do to help, how can I help? Your feelings are valid. Be realistic, because sometimes failure is a part of life.
Speaker 1:Number two hold space. Let people vent without trying to fix it. Sometimes you just want to be heard. You just want an ear that's going to listen. Like I'm going to be fine, but let me just get this off my chest, okay. Like, let me rap. Have you ever just needed just a good vent I mean, this is why I talk to myself, because who want to hear that but a good, real vent, and like you feel so much better, like you've gotten it off your heart, your mind, your chest. Even if that looks like writing to you, it happens. If you want to call me up, I'll listen to you, vent. Like, give people space, give yourself space, let it out, okay, and whatever that looks like to you.
Speaker 1:Number three you need to balance optimism with reality. I really do aspire to be an optimist, okay, always looking on the bright side, just expecting good out of life, and I do. I do feel like I share those traits, but it's also a time and a place and you need to make that meet with reality. Like I always say, life is about balance. Understand that things are hard and understand that you need support. If the shoes on the other foot know that whoever is going through something that is venting to you just may just need support, okay, just may need a shoulder, okay. Number four stop shaming your own emotions. It's okay to not be okay. Feel your feelings, process them and then move forward.
Speaker 1:The response that I got back that I read in the beginning of the podcast was perfect. Like, yes, look back in a term of I made it and then don't stop there, continue going, because oh the places you'll go. I mean, look at what you already did, imagine the things that you can do. And then, number five, encourage healthy, positive Not my voice cracking. Encourage healthy positivity Instead of forcing happiness. Focus on your resilience. It might be tough right now, but you'll get through it and you will, but you won't if you just stop, but you won't if you just stop. Positivity in itself isn't bad, but forcing it at the wrong time is because life is messy and hard days happen and real healing comes from acknowledging our struggles and not just ignoring them.
Speaker 1:So yeah, if today's episode resonated with you. So yeah, if today's episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear this message and come on, talk to me. Let's keep the conversation going. Dm me on Instagram at choosejoy2wisepodcast or drop a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'd love to hear your feedback. I honestly rely on it, me and my team, which is currently me, myself and I. So we need your content, I need your support and I'm grateful for the support that I've gotten. But I want to hear from y'all. I see that y'all are listening. I see the numbers. I just want to hear y'all. I want to hear from you guys and I want to make this a chat space, a conversation piece, if you will, but until next time, be kind to yourself, feel your feelings and, as always, choose joy, but in a way that's real y'all, not forced. Okay, until next time.