Your Truth Isn't THE Truth

“My truth” is everywhere, but I’ve been wondering what we’ve lost by using it as a mic drop. I’m not interested in dismissing anyone’s feelings, trauma, or lived experience. I am interested in the quiet shift where speaking your truth starts getting confused with speaking the truth and where validation replaces curiosity.

We talk about why humans are unreliable narrators (even when we mean well), how selective memory and self-protection can shape our version of events, and why it’s possible for two people to experience the same relationship in completely different ways. I share the mindset that keeps me grounded: two things can be true at once. Your feelings can be real, and your interpretation can still be incomplete. That’s not weakness, it’s emotional intelligence.
The internet loves clear heroes and villains, but real life is layered: you can be hurt and still owe accountability, you can have good intentions and still cause harm, and healing often needs privacy, time, and humility.

If you’ve ever asked yourself whether you’re chasing truth or protecting the version of yourself that feels safest, this one’s for you. Listen, share it with a friend, and then subscribe, leave a review, and tell me your take: has social media changed how you tell your story?

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Transcript

Choose Joy Opening

SPEAKER_00 0:01

You've made it to the Choose Joy Podcast. Here we make a conscious effort to choose joy daily. We allow ourselves to heal and grow into the path designed for us. Join me to unpack, affirm, and choose joy.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Hello, welcome back to the Choose Joy podcast. It's your host, Chelsea, and let's get into episode 31. So,

Why “My Truth” Took Over

SPEAKER_01 0:25

since our last episode, talking about main character energy, I have been thinking a lot lately of a few phrases that we've just been overusing and getting away from the plot. We've just been losing the meaning, using things as filler words. And no, I've been thinking a lot lately about this phrase that we are constantly hearing my truth. And before anybody gets nervous, this episode isn't about dismissing people's feelings, experiences, trauma, perspectives, or personal stories. That's not where I'm going with this at all. But I do think that we need to talk about how somewhere along the way, speaking your truth became confused with speaking the truth. And I fear as humans, we are slowly losing the plot. Because nowadays everybody has their side, their version, their narrative and perspective, receipts, the replant brands, their public statements. And sometimes I feel like nobody is actually searching for the truth anymore. We're just searching for validation, control over perception. We're searching for audiences, and there is a difference. I think originally the phrase speak your truth came from a beautiful place.

Feelings Matter, Facts Still Matter

SPEAKER_01 1:44

For a long time, many people were silent, so their experiences were minimized, their pain was ignored. So encouraging people to speak honestly about their lived experiences mattered, and it still matters. Your feelings matter, your experiences matter, your perspective matters, but your perspective is still just a perspective. And I think that distinction is disappearing because we live in a culture now where if somebody feels something deeply enough, it's treated as objective reality. And if you challenge any part of that, people think that you're invalidating them as a person. Two things can be true at once. Your feelings can be real, and your interpretation can still be incomplete. That is human. And honestly, humans are not unbiased narrators. None of us are. We naturally tell stories in ways that protect our ego, protect our identity, protect our pain, or just help us make sense of what happened to us. And that doesn't necessarily make somebody manipulative or evil, it just makes them human. But I do think that we've become uncomfortable admitting that maybe our version of events isn't the full picture. Because sometimes my truth is selective memory, unresolved hurt, pride, defensiveness, fear, or just survival instinct. Sometimes we leave out details unconsciously or consciously. Sometimes we exaggerate impact because we're emotional and we villainize people because it's easier than sitting in the complexity of the situation.

Social Media And Narrative Control

SPEAKER_01 3:25

And social media has made that a hundred times worse. Because now everybody with a phone is a public narrator. Every disagreement becomes content, every breakup becomes a series, friendship fallouts becomes tweets, every misunderstanding becomes a public trial with audiences picking sides based off of 30-second clips, emotional charged storytelling. And whoever tells a story first is usually the one that controls the narrative, and that's scary because audiences rarely ask what context is missing, what accountability is this person avoiding? What would the other side say? Or what role did both people play? No. We reward whoever tells the most emotionally compelling version. And honestly, social media doesn't reward nuance, it rewards certainty. People online want heroes, villains, um, the victim, they want toxic people, narcissists, um, fake friends, evil exes, all that and the third. Everything has to be simplified into characters because complexity doesn't go viral as easy. Real life is nuanced, and someone can hurt you and still love you. You can be misunderstood and still owe accountability, you can have good intentions and still cause harm. You can be wounded and wound others. Two people can experience the same exact relationship completely differently, and I think that's the part that we are forgetting. The truth usually lives somewhere in the tension, not fully in my version, not fully in yours, but somewhere in the middle, somewhere deeper, somewhere more honest.

Accountability Without Losing Yourself

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Maturity is being able to tolerate that discomfort. I also think that we're becoming very attached to our identities as the good person in every story. And listen, I get it. Nobody wants to see themselves as the problem. But sometimes growth requires realizing maybe I wasn't entirely right. Maybe I hurt someone too. You know? Maybe I centered my feelings and ignored theirs. Maybe I told the story in a way that protected me emotionally and painted the other party as the victim. And that level of self-awareness is so rare, especially now, because the internet has convinced people that accountability equals self-betrayal. Like somehow admitting fault means that your pain wasn't real. And that's not true. You can acknowledge, yes, I was hurt, and also, yes, I could have handled things better. Both things can coexist. And I think part of why this conversation matters so much is because narratives are powerful. The stories we tell ourselves shape our relationships, our healing, identity, your worldview, and quite literally our future. If you continuously tell yourself a story where you're always the victim, you're always the misunderstood one, the only person trying, the only emotionally mature one, the person that everyone wrongs. Eventually, that story becomes your identity. And at some point, we have to ask ourselves am I committed to truth, or am I committed to protecting the version of myself that feels safest? Hmm. That question will humble you quick. It it has humbled me quick.

Stop Performing Pain In Public

SPEAKER_01 7:09

I also think that we've lost the ability to process things privately. Everything is public. People don't even fully process emotions before posting them, they perform them in real time. And sometimes I wonder if constant public narration is actually delayed healing. Because healing usually requires reflection, silence sometimes, um, solitude, you know, humility, perspective, time. But if everything immediately becomes content, there is no room for evolution, no room to change your mind, no room to realize hey, I overreacted, and no room to see someone else differently later. The internet freezes people in emotional moments forever, and that's dangerous.

A More Honest Way Forward

SPEAKER_01 8:04

I think the healthier approach is learning how to hold our experiences and honesty and humility. Instead of saying that's the truth, maybe we should say that's how I experienced it. This leaves room for nuance, empathy, accountability, humility, you know, real humanity. Because truth is usually bigger than our emotions in the moment. And honestly, some of the wisest people I know are the ones who can admit I might be seeing this differently, and I may not be seeing this clearly. That is emotional intelligence, not certainty, not performance, not winning the narrative awareness. Yeah, I think that we we've lost the plot a little bit. Um, I know I have. And it's not because people are sharing their experiences, that's not the issue. The issue is that we've started treating perspective as unquestionable fact. We've started prioritizing emotional performance over understanding, and we've forgotten that humans are layered, flawed. We are complicated people, including us, especially us. And maturity is realizing that truth is bigger than our ego, it's bigger than our pain, and it's definitely bigger than the version of the story that makes us look the best.

Closing Question And Choose Joy

SPEAKER_01 9:30

So, thank you so much for listening to another episode. If this episode resonated with you, definitely share it, post your thoughts, and let me know. Do you think social media has changed the way that people tell their stories and view the truth? Um, as always, protect your peace, stay self-aware, um, and focus on the truth and not just your truth or my truth. Oh, and choose joy. Duh.