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The Chief Psychology Officer
Exploring the topics of workplace psychology and conscious leadership. Amanda is an award-winning Chartered Psychologist, with vast amounts of experience in talent strategy, resilience, facilitation, development and executive coaching. A Fellow of the Association for Business Psychology and an Associate Fellow of the Division of Occupational Psychology within the British Psychological Society (BPS), Amanda is also a Chartered Scientist. Amanda is a founder CEO of Zircon and is an expert in leadership in crisis, resilience and has led a number of research papers on the subject; most recently Psychological Safety in 2022 and Resilience and Decision-making in 2020. With over 20 years’ experience on aligning businesses’ talent strategy with their organizational strategy and objectives, Amanda has had a significant impact on the talent and HR strategies of many global organizations, and on the lives of many significant and prominent leaders in industry. Dr Amanda Potter can be contacted on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/amandapotterzircon www.theCPO.co.uk
The Chief Psychology Officer
Ep82 Navigating Conflict: Psychological Safety in Mediation
Resolving workplace conflict requires more than good intentions—it demands psychological safety. In our latest episode, we explore this powerful intersection with Alex Myers, a Chartered Occupational Psychologist, coach, and mediator who's transforming how organisations handle workplace disputes.
Alex shares her journey implementing psychological safety principles at Jewish Care, where the impact has been transformative. What began as executive leadership training has cascaded throughout the organization, with team members now naturally incorporating psychological safety language into their daily interactions and leadership practices. This cultural shift proves that small, consistent actions create meaningful change over time.
The heart of our conversation explores how mediation works, from preparing conflicting parties through to resolution. Alex walks us through her approach to creating safe spaces where difficult conversations can happen productively. Unlike lengthy HR investigations that often deepen divisions, mediation offers a streamlined path to resolution that preserves relationships and team cohesion. The results speak for themselves—none of Alex's mediations have progressed to formal grievance procedures.
We delve into the fascinating neuroscience behind conflict, examining how fight-or-flight responses hijack our ability to communicate effectively. Alex explains techniques for activating the calming parasympathetic nervous system, helping conflicting parties move from defensive posturing to genuine listening. Her practical suggestions for reframing statements and creating neutral environments offer valuable tools anyone can apply in challenging conversations.
The most powerful moments come through Alex's real-world examples of transformation—from colleagues who couldn't look at each other to team members actively supporting one another after mediation. These stories illustrate the profound impact of combining psychological knowledge with skilled conversation facilitation.
Whether you're a leader managing team dynamics, an HR professional handling workplace disputes, or someone navigating difficult conversations, this episode offers practical wisdom for creating environments where honest dialogue can flourish.
Episodes are available here https://www.thecpo.co.uk/
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Kristian Lees Bell:Welcome to the Chief Psychology Officer podcast, the show where we dive into the psychology behind leadership, behavioral change and high performance. I'm Christian and today we're talking about something incredibly timely, the intersection of psychological safety and mediation. We're joined by an outstanding guest, Alex Myers, a chartered occupational psychologist, coach and trained mediator currently working in Jewish care, a health and social care organization. In this episode, you'll learn how psychological safety and and resilience can improve workplace mediation outcomes, our Be Talent tool support teams in handling conflict, improving self-awareness and strengthening HR, and why creating safe spaces for open dialogue is really essential, especially in high-pressure environments. So whether you're a business leader, HR professional, psychologist or entrepreneur, this conversation is packed with insights you won't want to miss. Before we jump in, don't forget to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode and you can connect with me Dr Amanda Potter or Alex Myers on LinkedIn. Let's dive in. Hello Amanda and Alex.
Dr Amanda Potter:Hi Christian how lovely what a fabulous introduction. Yes thank you very much indeed.
Speaker 00:Alex it's great to have you with us. Would you mind first please introducing yourself?
Alexandra Myers:Yes well thank you very much for having me. So as you mentioned I'm a chartered occupational psychologist, a coach and a trained mediator. I'm currently at Jewish Care but I'm in the process of founding a company called Innate Strengths. And I truly believe that all individuals have inner talents and core strengths. And it's my job to help organisations and employees find them so that they can be fulfilled in work and perform to their best. I am no stranger to the Be Talent suite of tools and I love them because they fit this mindset. They're easy to use and understand and they can make a big difference to the way we behave at work. Amanda and I have been working for a while together.
Dr Amanda Potter:We have, we have.
Speaker 03:How brilliant!
Alexandra Myers:And I'm also a very avid listener of the pod. So by understanding concepts like psychological safety and resilience, that I perform better at work. But more excitingly, I perform better as a mediator. And by creating a psychologically safe environment during the mediation session, the outcomes are better for the individuals.
Dr Amanda Potter:Do you know what? It's so brilliant that you've joined us today, because when we started talking about this and talking about all of the great things you're doing around psychological safety and resilience within jewish care one of the things you came to me and said is that actually it's impacting in a positive way your mediation too now i admit i'm not an expert in mediation at all and i very much have been using you to learn so this podcast is going to be great for me as well as for you i think because it will help me really understand the more broader and wider impacts of all the research we're doing around psychological safety and resilience
Alexandra Myers:so thank you i'm so excited excited uh to share my learnings i'm particularly excited when lots of different disciplines come together and we can learn from them and we can also talk a bit about coaching as well because again training as a coach that helps with the mediation as well as conversations that we have at work too
Kristian Lees Bell:alex um actually this was a first for us because it was you wasn't it who asked us about having this uh discussion on the pod
Alexandra Myers:so i was listening to the pod and i actually it was the one about the elevator pitch and we had a meeting in the diaries And I thought, oh, I'm going to have a go. I'm going to practice what I've just learned and have a go with Amanda doing an elevator pitch to explain why I'm so passionate about psychological safety, resilience and mediation and how we can let other people know about this too. So I was very excited to put into action something I'd just learned.
Dr Amanda Potter:How brave of you. How fantastic. And here we are now. And the answer was clearly yes, which is great.
Kristian Lees Bell:You mentioned a little bit earlier around mediation, obviously, and the links to psychological safety and resilience. Obviously, you know, we've been doing a lot of work and have been on psychological safety, as you have at Jewish Care. So I was wondering, what have you been doing in this area with Jewish Care?
Alexandra Myers:So Amanda and I ran a project quite a while ago to support the executive team at Jewish Care in thinking about the way they can create a psychologically safe environment for themselves and also for their teams. Amanda and I work with the team primarily using the Psychological Safety Assessment We took an individualised approach, coaching each of the ELT through their results, and then a half-day workshop to explore the concepts. 18 months on, the change in behaviours and attitudes towards psychological safety at Jewish Care is really stark.
Dr Amanda Potter:But in a good way, I think, isn't it?
Alexandra Myers:Absolutely. And that's also what's been lovely, is because so much time has gone from doing the workshop, I could come back and evaluate it. People describe Jewish Care and the culture at Jewish Care using language very much in line with the BeTalent Psychological Safety language?
Dr Amanda Potter:Do you know what? I had a conversation just this morning with Laura McLean, who's been also a guest on the pod. And we were talking about the impact of the work we've been doing in Santander. And she said to me about all of the conversations we have around the neuroscience of resilience and the neuroscience of psychological safety. And she was saying she can hear people around the business using that language, which is just incredible. And that's, I think, what you also found in Jewish care. People are really using that language.
Alexandra Myers:Absolutely, and each of the ELT could articulate specific actions or tasks that they identified 18 months ago as part of the workshop and describe what they're doing differently as a result.
Dr Amanda Potter:The how fab habits. We keep coming back to those micro habits, don't we? If we could every day just do a few small things, actually the effect is amazing. And it makes me think about another client, Sam Theobald from Next15, when we trained her and her leadership team in the area of psychological safety. So that they really understood the model. The big thing she said to me at the end was I had a misinterpretation of what psychological safety is and actually the difference it would make for my organization. Now I get it, particularly with that whole concept of the path to hell is paved with good intention. She said, now I realize we were communicating it in a way that was quite different to the way we should. She also referred to the fact that when you look at engagement results, they're so generic when they assess about looking at psychological safety. You need more detail to really get into the heart of the matter.
Alexandra Myers:Absolutely. And the other thing that's been really helpful at Jewish Care is that we've cascaded it. So in certain areas of the organisation, leaders have taken the concept and then I've helped them to create workshops for their teams as well. So when you're talking about that language cascade, we're very much changing the way people talk.
Dr Amanda Potter:That's amazing.
Kristian Lees Bell:It is, isn't it? And I suppose with that language being cascaded throughout the organisation, then as leaders can articulate the specific actions they took based on the feedback and they can talk about what they're doing differently now as a result. So yeah, that's fantastic. The fact that the assessments brought everything to life with regards to psychological safety. Let's shift gears though to today's main topic, workplace mediation. So for those unfamiliar, Alex, what is it exactly?
Alexandra Myers:Workplace mediation is a tool to help approach conflict at work. So conflict at work can have a negative impact on morale and by undertaking a mediation, which is a one-day session with a trained mediator and two people who've got conflicting ideas, views, or attitudes. Going through this one-day process can help them resolve the conflict. Now, it's different to an HR or an employee relations investigation because investigations often take a long time. They often involve lots of different people. It's really quite difficult for team dynamics. People get pulled from one side to another side, whereas with a mediation, it's all over quite quickly. You don't have time to dwell on the issues. You don't have time to kind of build campaigns against each other. So it's a really practical but really effective way of talking about conflict.
Dr Amanda Potter:So do you need to be a qualified mediator to do mediation?
Alexandra Myers:Well, I think yes. I think you can use a lot of the tools and techniques that a trained mediator has in order to support conflict. As a manager, as a leader in organisations, you can think about some of the more formal mediation training techniques techniques. But I think in order to conduct the best kind of mediation, having a qualification is important. It then means you kind of have CPD and supervision and all that kind of stuff as well to enhance practice.
Kristian Lees Bell:Can you walk us through the mediation process?
Alexandra Myers:Sure, absolutely. So what I normally do is have a conversation with the line manager or the person that's brought the conflict to me. We have a quick chat so that they understand the principles of mediation, they understand what's going to happen. I then will meet with each party individually and explain to them about what a mediation is. Explain some of the principles of mediation. So this is that it is totally confidential. So that even though a manager might have brought it to me, once we have the session and what is revealed within the session is totally confidential. It is not discussed. It's impartial. So I don't take one side or another. It's self-determined. So the parties drive the conversation. So a little bit like coaching. I used the analogy of a coach before I'm not entered into the conversation I help drive the conversation but it's self-determined it's for the parties to drive whether it is that they want to go and what they want to focus on and the final principle is that it's voluntary they choose to be there so I'll explain all of this to each party and normally they tell me about what's going on and that is a cathartic experience for them so they'll really have very strong views about where their position is and how they are feeling within that conflict and then we do the day's mediation so talk to them explain that we're going to set a day explain again all of the principles and then we meet on a day so it normally starts first thing in the morning i'll meet with one and help explain it all again and listen to them and their perspective meet the other party and then we have the joint meeting it's really structured so again i make it as informal as i possibly can but we do follow a formal structure and process and that helps and again we'll talk through some of the psychological constructs and the neuroscience around that but it really helps get the best outcome, helps move each party towards a position of thinking about a goal and solving the conflict.
Dr Amanda Potter:So I can really see where psychological safety fits then, because you're very much about creating the right environment where people can speak openly and honestly without judgment.
Alexandra Myers:Absolutely. That's exactly what it's about. So as I'm talking to people and hearing their story, there's some mediation. I use the terminology.
Dr Amanda Potter:I can't say that either. What is it? Terminology.
Alexandra Myers:There we go. As I'm talking to each party, there's lost of things going on. How can I make this environment better for these two people that are in conflict? I'm also thinking about some resilience constructs as well. So what might be going on for them? And again, the Be Talent tool talks about resilience risks and resilience strengths. So as I'm listening to people, I'm identifying in what way are they talking? Could that be a resilience strength? Or could I help them a little bit by reframing or restructuring what they're saying so that they feel as safe as possible in order to have an open conversation? So I'm thinking about it. There's quite a lot going on. when I mediate. It's exhausting at the end of the day.
Dr Amanda Potter:I bet it is. How interesting that you brought resilience in as well. Because of course, our tool, which Kristian knows because he looks after wellbeing and leads on the resilience training with colleagues, all of our thinking and research on resilience is all about affect and the experience of emotions. And of course, as you said, very rightly, Alex, we do a lot around the neuroscience and how our brain chemistry can impact how we feel and how those feelings impact how we think and then our interpretation of emotion. So it's really quite deep, isn't it? What's happening for an individual in that mediation session. So being able to read and get insight into some of those thoughts and feelings that they might be having is, I would say it's a real gift for you.
Alexandra Myers:Yeah, absolutely. And again, helping each other. So why the mediation is so satisfying for a mediator is that you see a change in people's behaviours when they finish. And the feedback that I've got is that their working relationship often is much better and much stronger as a result of it. So they're going through something together.
Dr Amanda Potter:That's amazing. I wanted to thank Alex so very much for being a guest on the podcast. Alex has been a client of Zircon B eTalent for the last few years, in particular buying and using the psychological safety questionnaire with the exec. The great news is that Alex and her practice within Jewish care have created some really tangible results increasing the level of frank and open conversation, the amount of trust and the preparedness to speak up. This Wednesday I'm hosting an Ask Me Anything About Psych Safety session where I will be open to answering any question about psychological safety, what it is, what it's not and how we can improve the psychological safety of teams, departments and organisations. So if you have a burning question and you'd like to join me, it'd be great to see you. You can register at thecpo.co.uk So what happens in a situation where there isn't psych safety or when might a conflict or mediation situation lose all sense of psychological safety?
Alexandra Myers:So what I've noticed about the mediations that come to me is very often it's something really minor that triggers it. So it's not something that is quite huge, a big blow up. Often it's something that is very little. Someone didn't talk to me in a very nice way or we had a not very nice conversation interaction about something and that's been kind of almost the trigger. I think again if you look at some of the psychologically safe constructs and using the be talent language that just shows that people aren't learning from mistakes they're avoiding failures they're not honest with each other with their managers they're working in an environment that just doesn't feel very nice or conducive to great working relationships
Dr Amanda Potter:so what they bring into that mediation conversation potentially then may reflect the environment that they're experiencing in the workplace then what is what you're saying Alex.
Alexandra Myers:Absolutely so when I think about psychological safety and mediation I think about two ways the one way we've described already is how can I create an environment where people are going to speak that they're going to feel safe they're going to feel like I am neutral they're going to feel like that they're going to have a really decent conversation and there's going to be some sort of positive action as a result they're going to get a goal together so that's one way the other way is that by creating psychologically safe environments people are more open to these kinds of conversations so they're already going coming in feeling actually this is worth my time this organization takes these sorts of things seriously it's not going to be a really dreadful experience it might feel uncomfortable absolutely and emotions come in and sometimes that doesn't feel great and in my working life I'm a very empathic person I feel really sensitive towards people as a mediator you need to be neutral it's back to those key principles I was talking to you about I need to be impartial so I can do all sorts of things to indicate that I'm listening to each party but I can't show sympathy towards each one. I can set up the environment so they feel secure and safe, but we've got to kind of follow and trust the process of mediation.
Kristian Lees Bell:Alex, I'm curious, how do you know if mediation isn't working, if things are stalling? And when that might suggest that psychological safety, people don't feel psychologically safe in that particular context or interaction?
Alexandra Myers:So there's some science. Again, I described creating this environment, this psychologically safe environment before people walk into the mediation is really important so the way I set up the room is really important so often it will be myself and then two parties and I set their chairs up so that they're talking to each other the whole idea here is for the people to talk about the conflict and you'll notice people are so cross with each other when they come in they can't even look at each other sometimes they're so cross and they change their chairs so that they're talking to me so again at the beginning whilst we're building up this safe environment people address me they talk to me and a lot of my dialogue is around don't talk to me talk to each other and helping them listen to each other helping translate or reframe what they're saying so they can talk to each other so a key indication for me is when they start talking to each other go for a break or whatever when they come back in they don't move the chairs again so again these are some signs that I know that it's going well very often people leave they walk out they need a break and again what I'm doing is thinking about okay who is this person where are they from what is their background if I work with people who work in offices they're very used to being in an environment in a meeting room for a significant amount of time. But that's not always the case. I work with people who work in kitchens or I have an example of a handyman. And I know that their natural style is not sitting in a room talking to somebody else for hours on end. So again, I'll create breaks. We're following them and their process. It's self-determined. It's going where they want it and need it to go. But I'll just be aware of where they are, what their body language is, some of the non-visual cues.
Kristian Lees Bell:I was thinking about context, obviously, Alex. you were talking about the place and the context that they're having that conversation. So if they're at work and they're always in conflict, they're not talking particularly helpfully with each other, then if you do the mediation in the same place where they're kind of battling horns, then I suppose that can probably have an impact, can't it, on how effective that conversation is?
Alexandra Myers:No, absolutely. And you've got to be so sympathetic to that as well. So we need to be in a room that is not like a fishbowl where you've not got people walking past looking, what's going on in there? So you've got to be really sensitive about where you're having the mediation. And again, what's going on for people. That's why the kind of the pre and the post is really helpful. That's why they've already had a chance to tell you their story. I'm already demonstrating some of those skills around listening skills, around kind of being empathetic, but neutral beforehand. So they feel like they can trust me. They can trust the conversation.
Dr Amanda Potter:I agree about the fishbowl. I also agree that it needs to be neutral. You can't have it in one person's environment versus another. But it made me think about walking meetings and walking coaching as as well, because actually getting outside, the cathedral effect, the breathing, the exercise, taking in the panorama, all the things we know which are great for the regulating of the sympathetic nervous system and activating the parasympathetic nervous system to calm, all of those things are good too. So do you ever do mediation walking or are you always in a room?
Alexandra Myers:Always in a room. It's really interesting for me to have a think about that. As you were talking, what I was thinking was, what's really interesting is the conversation isn't linear so sometimes you'll really feel like you're getting towards a goal and then somebody would like a break or at it so long that it's time for lunch or whatever and you really feel oh we're going somewhere but it's directed by them you'll go off you'll come back and you don't pick up where you left off so sometimes it goes backwards and you think oh goodness and we're discussing some of the things that have already been discussed there is something going on for them where they need to have that conversation again hasn't quite closed off so it's really interesting so break sometimes Sometimes it can be super helpful, like describing the handyman who kind of needs to go off, he needs to be out of that room and come back again. Sometimes you're really getting somewhere, you go off and you come back and kind of you go backwards. But again, that's fine. That's fine. That's what they need. And you go through it again. But again, back to what you were saying, Amanda, what I'm trying to do is help people not to be nice all the time to use kind of some of the psychologically safe constructs, but to be candid and honest in a safe way, obviously, if people are shouting at each other, or if they're using language that's not appropriate but helping people speak and again being really conscious of hierarchy as well so what we don't want is we don't want a conversation that is deferring to leadership because again I've done mediations with all sorts of people in all sorts of hierarchies so you may well have a manager and an individual in there and I've got to be really conscious of that I've got to have that at the back of my mind as well and I've talked about confidentiality but I do want to just mention there are some breaks to confidentiality So again, when you're talking about the principles, if somebody talks about acts of terror, money laundering, child abuse, human trafficking, risk to harm themselves or others, then absolutely, we don't keep that confidential. It's really important that people know that we deal with it. I mean, it's never come up. But the way I would deal with it is explain to people, we now need to break the confidentiality. And this is what we're going to do with this information that you've just told me.
Dr Amanda Potter:I'm really impressed with it, because I think so often we hear from clients that they struggle out to have the conversation, how to start the conversation. And it sounds like there's a lot that we can learn and take from mediation in dealing with conflict and dealing with having those, even just those difficult conversations. I think there's a lot that we could learn from your process.
Kristian Lees Bell:Amanda, from what you've heard from Alex so far, what's the neuroscience angle here? You know, what's going on in the brain during conflict, for example?
Dr Amanda Potter:I think we know, we know from many different episodes of the podcast, we're talking about the fight or flight response, aren't we? We're talking about the amygdala, the emotion centre, the activation of the sympathetic nervous system and the release of adrenaline and cortisol from the adrenal gland. And we know that when we release those hormones and chemicals that we feel jittery, we feel uncomfortable, we feel tense and anxious. So what we've got to do is activate the parasympathetic nervous system to create a sense of calm. I think that creating the environment, creating psychological safety so that people can feel like they're more in control of their emotions is so key in order for them to speak up, because if you're feeling anxious and feeling in the grip, you're very unlikely to speak in a neutral way. I would suggest then the mediator, as you said, all the way from the beginning, Alex, you have to remain really calm. The other thing it makes me think of is compassion, actually, because if you think about the vagus nerve, which is the nerve of compassion, it's really hard to access the nerve of compassion. When we're angry or we're emotional in a negative way it gets stifled and kindness is really great for creating that balance both in ourselves and others so we know altruism gratitude kindness all those things are fantastic for helping us to build our resilience and build our perspective so that's made me really think about the importance of being kind to ourselves and having compassion in that moment what you've said Alex has made me really think is that when you had the one-to-ones you are neutral but you are showing compassion for the situation and for their views you're not biased I think compassion is absolutely key
Alexandra Myers:Yeah, absolutely. And as you're talking, what it made me think is quite a lot of the mediator's role is reframing. It's helping the other person hear the party that they're in conflict with. And when they're so cross with each other, they can't, but they do listen to the mediator. So when the mediator says the same thing that one party has said to another party, they can hear it in a slightly different way. It all makes sense. And again, the repeating of the story, that cathartic effect of following through the process, they trust in the process. And again, some of the feedback afterwards, you know, you get some in the moment feedback. So for example, one chap said, Oh, I feel like a great weight has lifted off my shoulders, and I can see the end of the tunnel. So that's really great. That's really gratifying. Sometimes people hug each other. And again, you can see if that's genuine or not, you can see if that was, you know, at lunchtime, you can see it that that wasn't genuine, we didn't quite get there. But you can see and again, one person said to me at the end, right, I don't need any of these that she'd been keeping her grievance folder I don't need anyone to rip them up now it's again got to explain to everybody this is a process we make it as informal as possible it is not a formal HR process it is voluntary so all HR processes are available afterwards but nobody has and again as per the earlier conversation about psych safety I track the mediations that I have done again in a confidential way none of them have gone on to a formal HR process afterwards which is great it's great for the business case because it's much cheaper to do it a one-day mediation than a big investigation and it's nicer for the organization as well
Dr Amanda Potter:there's a lot of care in there isn't there
Alexandra Myers:exactly and again in in line with lots of values particularly jewish cares values and to hear some of the feedback a manager wrote to me afterwards to say they then spend far less time managing the conflict as a result of the mediation and addressing the misunderstanding a manager can then focus on other things that it helps the individuals find solutions and promotes long-term growth and understanding with each other so that again when we're talking about psychological safety if you're having a real true and proper and meaningful conversation it can feel scary going in absolutely it can but the individuals can come out so much better as a result of an honest conversation.
Dr Amanda Potter:I was just going to ask how do you get people to listen to one another because when you're angry and you're in conflict you want to share you want to speak but we're not great at listening when we're in that situation because we're in protection mode aren't we we're defending we're in fight or flight we're protecting and defending How do you get them to switch from defending and protecting to listening?
Alexandra Myers:A lot of it's your voice and helping them find empathy for each other and following a kind of a core mediation process. Where are they? Where are each party? What is their position? What are their feelings? Helping people talk about their feelings. And what is it that they need? And often the need is a joint goal. No one likes being in conflict. The need is for them to get on better, have better, more meaningful conversations. have kinder conversations so by helping them get below that anger to the what's going on for them again that's why it's so satisfying to watch because you can understand they don't get it from each other's point of view at the beginning and then at the end by having these meaningful dialogues they can they can understand it from each other but you're absolutely right you've got to calm it down first
Dr Amanda Potter:how amazing your voice and tone changed when you answered that question
Alexandra Myers:exactly so again it's a lot of the mediators tone you know your tone is very neutral
Dr Amanda Potter:so interesting because your tone in this podcast has changed from being really excitable and high and fast. And then you went lower and calmer for that part. And I see the same in Christian as well when he facilitates. You do the same, Christian, don't you?
Kristian Lees Bell:Do I? Oh, that's a new one on me.
Dr Amanda Potter:Yeah, you do too. That's so interesting. Well, that's great. I can really see now the link between resilience, psychological safety and mediation. I think it's great. What's the takeaway then from your side, Alex?
Alexandra Myers:So even if the listener is not at personally trained mediator some of the things that I've learned that have helped me when facing other people in conflict or conflict situations is to try and help each other understand each other's point of view to have a candid and honest position it works best if people can find that honesty they can use a mediation space to say what it is that they need to say at the end of the day to consider all of these kinds of conversations as a learning experience we're not always at our best all the time at work but if you've got this kind of safe environment that it's okay we can learn from it and we can move forward and move on then that's a much nicer environment to work
Dr Amanda Potter:I love the point that they're talking to each other not you because it would be very easy if Christian and I were having a big fight that I'd be telling you all the things that are annoying me about Christian and Christian would be telling you all the things that are annoying him about me rather than telling each other so I can see that that would be a natural way of protecting ourselves from the pain is to speak to you I would say it takes quite a lot of courage for the individuals to talk to one another
Alexandra Myers:Absolutely. And again, that is the role of the mediator is to help them, help them with the way that they use their words so that they can truly listen to each other.
Dr Amanda Potter:And what do you get out of it as a mediator? Why do you do it? I
Alexandra Myers:I get absolute satisfaction from having two people who are really cross with each other to leave feeling much happier about the situation.
Dr Amanda Potter:That must feel amazing, actually. That's great.
Alexandra Myers:But also that it makes a difference. It's not just what goes on in the room for that day. It makes a significant impact on their working life and And we know that because when managers describe the situation beforehand, they describe like a really negative morale within the team that, you know, people don't talk to each other and they won't talk to each other. And then afterwards, they talk about how, again, a really lovely story about somebody who they were so cross with each other. And then following the mediation, somebody kind of went and got some medication that they'd been talking about that they needed that they handed over to the other person. I mean, there's no way they would have done that beforehand. They were so furious with each other. And then by the end, I mean, that's genuine. She really wanted to help the other person.
Dr Amanda Potter:How amazing. Well, thank you very much. I'm now feeling like I need to now learn how to be a mediator because I think I might learn something. I think the skills could be incredible. But I really appreciate your time on the podcast. And so if people want to contact you, how will they find you?
Alexandra Myers:They can find me at www.innatestrengths.com and I can talk to them about this and all sorts of other things.
Kristian Lees Bell:Thank you so much, Alex. I've learned also some really insightful things as well that I can put into practice and in everyday conversation so yeah thank you for that found it fascinating and perhaps a final reflection for our listeners as well what's one thing you could do today to create a more open understanding conversation whether the colleague or a friend who might be struggling for example if you found this episode valuable we'd also love it if you gave us a rating and share it also it really helps us reach more people Alex thank you so much for joining us today and to everybody listening, have a wonderful and successful day.