This Q&A session with the Vallotton covers a variety of interesting topics! Here are the questions they cover in Episode 60:
Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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This Q&A session with the Vallotton covers a variety of interesting topics! Here are the questions they cover in Episode 60:
Connect with Lauren:
Instagram
Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org
We're the Valentines and we are passionate about people.
Speaker 1:Every human was created for fulfilling relational connection.
Speaker 2:But that's not always what comes easiest.
Speaker 1:We know this because of our wide range of personal experience, as well as our years of working with people.
Speaker 2:So we're going to crack open topics like dating, marriage, family and parenting to encourage, entertain and equip you for a deeply fulfilling life of relational health.
Speaker 1:All right, here we are. Welcome back to Dates, mates and Babies with the Valentines. It's another beautiful day here in Redding California and today we're going to jump right in and do some Q&A.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:We always love to answer questions that you guys send us, and it's one of our favorite things to do, so yes, can I give a teaser, though, for something? That's really fun to look forward to, yeah.
Speaker 2:So you guys, we're working on a series about sex and we think we're going to release it next week.
Speaker 1:Yeah coming up hot.
Speaker 2:But look forward to that. We are going to cover the gamut, so we'll leave it there for now, but we're thinking like five or six episodes. So if you have questions that we can incorporate into our upcoming episodes on sex, go ahead and send those to us. You can send them in through Instagram DMs. You could email dates, mates, babies at gmailcom. But yeah, go ahead and get your minds.
Speaker 1:You can give us a phone call. Yeah, I'll give you.
Speaker 2:Jay's number he won't answer. Yeah, so, anyways, look forward to that. We think that we're going to release the first episode next week, so we shall see.
Speaker 1:So exciting.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's been one of our hottest topics, like when we did we interviewed Cole and Caitlyn Zick last year.
Speaker 1:Y'all like to talk about sex?
Speaker 2:You guys do, and you have a lot of questions about sex. So, anyways, we're going to give the people what they want.
Speaker 1:I like to talk about sex too.
Speaker 2:He does Okay, but today we're going to do Q&A because we have you don't want to talk about sex right now? It's not that I don't.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:It's just that I'm about to start my period and so I'm not really in the mood. Yeah, okay, today's Q&A topic is great. Well, topics are great. And just a reminder we pull these questions from your questions that you send us. So always send them in if you have things that come up.
Speaker 2:I want to start with this one, because last week episode 59, we talked about reasons that you should bounce out of a dating relationship, but like things that are good indicators that this dating relationship is not one that you should move forward with. And a question came in that I loved and she said okay, great, but are there things that come up in relationships that actually aren't reasons to get out but are actually reasons to press in and work through stuff? Because I'm going to take a little bit of liberty and assume that potentially there's been a relationship experience where one or the other person is unsure. You know that feeling where you're like, no, no, no, come on, give it a go. Give it a go, like let's see if this is going to work.
Speaker 2:And I think that's a really valid question, because you don't always know if things are going to work out when you first start dating. The whole point is to get to know somebody, build trust with them and see if you have a future together, and things come up that are not necessarily deal breakers, and so why don't we answer some of those? What are some things, babe, that you feel like maybe it's going to come up, but it's not a deal breaker? Push through.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, the first thing for me is maybe that, rather than even talking about the very specific which we can is when it's like if someone is willing to grow and accept responsibility and focus on the area and get real help, then you can work through poor communication.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So, for instance, like if we're dating and I don't do a great job working through conflict, but I say to you hey, this is an area that I'm weak in.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:And I'm willing to grow on it. And here's how I'm going to do it. I'm going to get the boundaries book, whatever. I'm going to go to some counseling and then we can practice. And I think I'm not getting to the abusive level. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like we get in conflict and it's really unfun, but I'm not like abusive.
Speaker 2:Or somebody, one of you feels a bit shut down in it, or somebody's afraid to show up in conflict and you kind of realize you have this self-awareness moments where you go. Oh, because that is the thing is. I think one of the really helpful things about dating is that you learn a lot about yourself and how you do in relationship with somebody else, and I know that I learned a lot of things about myself in the different dating relationships I had before I even dated you. It was very helpful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's true. So to me, a lot of it revolves around not the specific issue, but what a person's willing to do in order to how they're going to take ownership.
Speaker 1:Yeah, work on it, address it. You know that kind of stuff. And so, like different career paths, for instance, like, let's say that you wanted to be a politician better, yet let's say that you wanted to be a missionary in Africa and I'm here in Reading with the kids that I have. Well, the big question is, how long are you willing to put off that dream, like, do you have to do it right now and is that somewhere in my heart To do in the future? And do you know what I'm saying, like how strong? Because there's a lot of things. The honest truth is, there's a lot of things that I really would like to do that I don't do as much as I want to do because I want to be with you more, and hunting is one of those for me. And there's things that you really want to do that you don't do as much as you could do because we decided that having kids was more important.
Speaker 1:And so some of those things is like because I think why I say this is people have their ideals Right. Like we have this idea that that this X thing is going to make me happy or be the thing that I really want the most, but then you know, when you get into this said thing, whether it's being a missionary in Africa or being a pastor you start to realize, like maybe what's more important is who I get to do this with. Or you know what my life's impact is overall, not necessarily just being a pastor, and so go ahead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think I'll have a couple things thoughts on. That Is when we were dating. One of the things that we realized was that I love big cities and I've come alive in big cities. My favorite city on the globe is New York and the big city that you had the most experience with, having grown up in Northern California with San Francisco, and you really don't enjoy San Francisco, and so we, you know, and I would have thought about myself that I would have been living in a big city and working in some sort of corporate capacity. That would have been my ideal for a long time. But when I was dating you although I remember feeling like, although big cities weren't your favorite place and you didn't have a passion or a life vision to be in a big city you really loved that about me and you were you've always been really proactive about helping me say yes to opportunities that gets me to the city. So, whether it's a trip with a girlfriend or a ministry trip to a church that invited us, that's, you know, in the city, or something like you. And then then you've actually discovered there are some cities that you genuinely do enjoy Now that you've been exposed to them, and what I'm going to pick up and move to some high rise in a in a big city.
Speaker 2:But my point is I think that sometimes when we feel partnered with in our passion areas, even if they're not shared passion areas, they can end up looking a little bit different. One example that really comes to mind is I have a friend one of my best friends grew up convinced that she would be an overseas missionary, but she married someone who has had is an entrepreneur and he had value for and an understanding about her heart. But they've spent the first. I think. They've been married close to 15 years now. They've spent the majority of their 15 years very focused on building business. He's a very successful business owner. She's a partner in that and in the meantime, when there is an outlet for her to do missions work, she does it. I mean she's led. This is her second year leading one of our mission trips out of the school that's affiliated with our church. She is in a bilingual class, like she's learning. She's been learning Spanish for the last two years. He's invested in that. With her. They've taken their family overseas.
Speaker 2:And then actually now that they're in a certain place in their business. They're actually creating vision around a mission's focused arm of their company and they feel like this next leg of the journey for them is going to be a little bit more missions focused. But she couldn't have foreseen that, so if she could have said no to dating him or marrying him for fear that she wouldn't actually have that itched scratched and that vision fulfilled for her. But actually it's just looked different than she imagined and so I just think we can't count out. No, I don't think like if you have zero wiggle room in your vision and your potential partner has no interest in that for themselves, then yeah sure, walk away and find somebody else, but I do think that there are some people that are in that category.
Speaker 1:Oh 100% and, for instance, like I work for NASA and I'm building rockets and it's like well, you probably aren't going to have as much wiggle room in your life.
Speaker 2:Or like I, you know, I want to be in the military and the woman goes. Well, I have no vision for raising kids by myself while you're overseas. Okay, well, that's, that's huge Like. So there are definitely non-negotiables, I think, to honor this question, though, a variation in your vision and passion is not an automatic no, it's an exploration. Yeah, I think that's our point.
Speaker 1:Yeah and and again. Like issues that come up in people's lives, like we're going to have, there's going to be issues like the fear of commitment. I'm having a really hard time knowing if I should stay in this relationship and it's like, well, has that always been a part of your life and are you willing to work on it and do I enjoy? Like? To me it's like, do I enjoy the rest of our relationship? So am I really enjoying our relationship and are they enjoying the relationship, at least where you're at, and are willing to work and grow and do the things that they need to do?
Speaker 2:to overcome that. That's that's when you stay on it. I like that you brought that one up, because anything actually that you discover in your dating relationship, that's a pattern for you. You know automatically. It's not about that person that you're dating, it's actually a you thing, which means, well, you can bounce out of the relationship and try with somebody else, but it's probably going to follow you. You might as well, just you know, take self inventory and take a lot of ownership over that area and get the help. So if it's a fear of commitment, like you said, okay, well, do you always get afraid at this point in the relationship, no matter who you're dating? If so, why do you try to push through that a little bit and sort it out, because it might not be a them thing?
Speaker 1:Well, when you any anytime, you come up with a big issue in a relationship and you work through it and solve it, it builds so much trust in the relationship.
Speaker 2:So these are it's great when you, when you solve this kind of stuff, yeah Cool, yeah Um all right.
Speaker 1:Do you want me to ask this one to you?
Speaker 2:You can yeah.
Speaker 1:What if you connect with someone in a dating relationship in every way, every single way but your faith? Yeah, Go for it.
Speaker 2:Well, that's a big one, I think. Um, you know, ultimately, if our goal is marriage, then we have to look at how God designed marriage. Because you could date, you could go on dates with anybody. You could meet somebody in the bar that doesn't share any of your core values or convictions or interests or passions, but you could have a good time hanging out with somebody that doesn't make them a good spouse. Um, and so if you're, if you're walking with God, if you're a Christian and your goal is marriage, then I think it's really important that we look at God's design for marriage and trust that he has designed it the best way for us.
Speaker 2:And, um, you know, the short answer for me is that, although people of all sorts of faiths and religions and cultural backgrounds I mean there's marriage in almost every culture, um, but, as, as believers, you know, as Christians, we believe that Jesus designed marriage specifically in the context of faith in Jesus, and so for marriage to be marriage itself, there has to be a shared foundation of faith. So that's the like short answer. I get that. It's more nuanced than that and it feels complicated when you really like someone. I know this question came in from somebody that said, um, he's open, he'll go to church with me. Uh, we talk about faith but he's agnostic, and so I think dating somebody with the hope that they will come to conviction or faith in Christ is tempting, because if you really enjoy somebody's personality and you have a lot of the same interest in you know you're feeling some sort of emotional attachment to this person. The idea of, quote, giving up on the relationship because they don't share your faith I understand that that can feel scary.
Speaker 1:Um, can I add to yeah, absolutely. So, to me, a couple of big challenges that you're going to have is your faith is something that you're supposed to build together and lead. You know lead in together and so it's a. This is a woman asking a question.
Speaker 1:The man's supposed to lead in in this area of helping helping to lead her and the kids into a greater relationship with God and be a leader in the home, and it's going to be very hard for him to do that when he doesn't have faith in God and his own faith in God and vice versa, like there are times when it's your faith, babe, that like really pulls us through these challenging, difficult seasons, and it's your faith in God that I'm trusting, in that you I don't have to be the one that answers all these questions and everything for you. And so when you get into a relationship where you are so unequally yoked in a massive pillar of the relationship, then you're going to have a it's more than just. It goes beyond just like, oh, we have differences on how we want to spend our free time. It's like no, this is a massive pillar of your life. And ultimately, what's going to happen is you're going to feel very, very alone and very unpartnered with and very uneven.
Speaker 1:And so I've seen this enough times. Where people get married, the spouse, you know, one of the couples ends up, you know, losing their faith, and it's very hard because they connect on all the areas except for this one, and it just becomes this massive challenge what are you going to teach the kids? So it goes beyond just you and your partner. It's like, well, if you didn't believe in God and I do now are we going to teach the kids about God?
Speaker 1:And it just it just goes on and on and on and it creates a bunch of anxiety because if I really believe that Jesus is the way and that and you don't fully believe that, then you feel like you're teaching our kids a lie 100% and I have tons of anxiety over us not giving them that foundation and what they're going to turn out to be. It's a bad idea.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So to me it's like I wouldn't. I wouldn't even start, I wouldn't date anybody that didn't have the same political view that I have, and the same view. Honestly, I mean, it's just me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And the same view on God, Because when you start getting into politics and God, in my opinion, like well, can I make?
Speaker 2:a clarification. Yeah, because I don't agree with you on that, that's fine. I think in the politics realm, I think what you're probably saying is core values, so forget politics. That to me I'm like well you mean morality and you mean core values.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you wouldn't date somebody. I'm not talking about Republican.
Speaker 2:Democrat. Well, when you say politics, that's what people think of. So what I want to just say, because I want you to be understood, what I hear you saying is that you wouldn't date somebody that had wildly different core values.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, and that's the thing is, is that your, if you're a Christian, your faith in Christ is actually the foundation of all your core values, and so it would be really hard to build any sort of life with someone when you have very different priorities. Whether we're talking about Christianity or not, I mean, dating somebody that has different priorities than you is going to be an incredibly hard and painful thing to do. So yeah, I think we would say no move on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's not going to go great. Um, okay, let's see how to. But how do you balance um play with kids versus being an authority bearing parent?
Speaker 1:So I think what they're really saying is how how do you balance being a friend with your kids while also being the authority bearing parent? And it's a good question.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, so I this is what I've been taught, this is what was modeled for me, and I this is my relationship with God too, I think, is like to me. It's all about the connection.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Right. So I'm building a strong, deep connection with my kids, which doesn't mean that we do everything they want to do and it doesn't mean that they're happy all the time. It means that I'm stewarding their heart and my first concern is that I would steward their heart in a way that it should go and so most of the time like most, I would say, 80% in the day our kids are awesome. They're, you know they. They need that connection time, they need that bonding, and when children are young and we've talked about this before they don't have the ability to regulate their emotions, so they need you to bond with them and and then play in fun. And connection also creates that, it deepens that bond and it teaches them that they're safe and adults love them and and authority figures are gentle and loving and kind and it's like when they learn how to bond really well, they create these healthy attachments and it lowers anxiety in their life and so like being a really connected, present person in their life, parent in their life, is how God designed us to live.
Speaker 1:Like. God puts Adam in the garden, right, he creates Adam, puts him in the garden, and it says that God walks with Adam daily hand in hand, and so that's the picture that we have. He also gave Adam rules and authority and don't do this, but do this. And so we're doing the same thing. Um, where I think parents go wrong and where you know what's hard as a parent is when the kids are not being fun, when they're choosing to do the wrong thing.
Speaker 1:And that's where you're dipping into that deep connection. Right, if you're pouring in daily, then you have that strong connection to go to go, hey, this isn't fun, or hey, you need to to, to take a second and sit here. Or hey, come, let's talk about this moment. They trust that you love them, they trust that you believe in, they trust that you want their best interest, and so when you give that correction, you're doing it from a place of connection. And the other thing is, as your kids get older, the if they don't have a deep connection with you, then they ultimately won't want to follow what you're saying, right, and so you can be the authority. When they're probably all the way up to like 11, 12 years old, you, they'll do what you say because you're the boss. But if they don't actually have a deep connection with you and we've seen this with our own kids, our older kids is it's that connection that tethers them as they get older, they don't want to hurt relationship with you.
Speaker 1:So, they choose the right thing. They trust that what you're saying for them is the best, because they're going to eventually ask for advice. You're not going to, you're not going to give them your opinion. When they get older, you're either going to have worked a way into their life and they trust you, or they're going to go make their own decisions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think, as they get older too, as the parent, that's where we need wisdom is to actually find a great balance of where to let our kids experience natural consequences of choices versus um when to set hard limits and not allow something to happen. I think this obviously differs a lot with age, but I think that when we're talking about um authority and actually like limit setting and and what not you know kids actually require for health, they require boundaries. Oh yeah, they want to know and need to know the boundaries in order to be safe. Kids that seem to push the boundaries are those that are actually just trying to find the limits because they need a sense of safety. And, of course, there's an element of as kids, especially as they get older.
Speaker 2:But honestly, even in our four year old right now, there's so much desire for control, so much desire for control and even that comes from a place of. Ultimately, that comes from a place of of um fear and insecurity in it. When our four year olds being controlling and she's trying to push the boundary and get what she wants, there's always an underlying need and she's trying to understand the world around her and where she fits in it. So for parents to shy away from any sort of you know, limit setting, boundary setting, authoritative you know, you know authoritative power, whatever. That's a shame because ultimately, our kids actually need those things in order to find safety in the midst of connection.
Speaker 2:But, I think you know, when we talk about building connection, that is ultimately the lifeblood of your relationship with your child, and figuring out ways to build connection with your individual kids is like the most primary thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and how to correct without using fear and manipulation. So that's the other piece, but great question.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good question. Okay, this is an interesting one. So somebody wrote in that they're walking through some ongoing mental health issues and they've been so unresolved that their spouse has left, but they actually want to see their marriage restored. So the question is, in the context of that, how do I act around my spouse when they're coming to get the kids and when we cross paths in order to have the best chance of seeing my marriage saved and turned around?
Speaker 1:Great question, what a hard spot, yeah well, I think the first piece is she's going. I have mental health issues, and that is a first step is taking ownership of it, and so to me, it's he's gonna really need to know that you've taken ownership where she is, whatever and that you have a plan that you're working on and executing, and then probably, that he or she knows how that's how your past has impacted them, your inability to manage yourself and it's not like you wanted you know whoever's, if it's the guy or the girl like they don't want to have these mental health issues. So, but oftentimes when we have mental health issues, oftentimes we are so focused on ourself that we don't really understand how we've affected the other people.
Speaker 1:And so part of healing is kind of making those amends, is taking ownership and being able to empathize and put yourself in their shoes. And so you know, I think there's this she didn't ask us or he didn't ask us, but there is a place to probably write a letter and reach out. When you get to that place where you can really understand of, like, cleaning up, you know, cleaning up some of the pain and the mass and addressing it, that would go a long ways, yeah, so to me it's doing whatever's necessary, if it's counseling, if it's medication, you know, and then being very consistent with you know the kids back and forth being doing a great job to clean up your mess. Those are, to me, are like the foundation for rebuilding the relationship.
Speaker 2:I think, too, when it comes to mental health or things that feel like out of your area of expertise, like we're not talking about your basic communication or conflict resolution issue, we're talking about something that is wreaking more havoc on your relationship and that potentially, you feel a little more out of control of.
Speaker 2:I always think that's a good opportunity to get some third party help. So if I'm the spouse that's not struggling with mental health issues, I'm looking to that third party person the healthcare provider or the professional to go. Hey, how do I know that my spouse is sticking to the plan?
Speaker 2:How do I know it's safe for me and the kids to be here? How do I know that they're making progress? And then so you're allowing a third party to actually line out for you what are good indicators of growth? Because I think you just sometimes need that extra layer of confidence in that third party to kind of help you go. Okay, here's how I can measure growth and see and make sure that we're moving ahead and keeping accountable to the plan. That's what I would need in that scenario.
Speaker 1:That's great, All right. What to do when my boyfriend is emotionally unavailable because he's heard from his past you wanna tackle it?
Speaker 2:Well, I think a little bit relates to our conversation last week about how do you know if this relationship is going south. And so I think, if we're talking about you know if your boyfriend has a trigger, that when triggered, he becomes emotionally unavailable. I think my first question is does he know that? Does he know that? Is that your diagnosis of him? Or is that him telling you hey, this happens for me and here's, here's what I'm doing to work on it? So, ultimately, you know, being in a relationship with somebody that is often emotionally unavailable because they're so triggered from their painful past If that's the scenario, then I would say, oh, that's, that's not a dating relationship I want to be in. I want to be in a relationship with somebody who's um, you know, working through their emotional trauma into a place of of health and thriving.
Speaker 2:Um but I think that it's what do you do when you get into that spot. I think you get really good at using some powerful I messages and seeing how they respond something like hmm, I feel sad when you disappear on me in conversation or even physically, when these things come up. I noticed that, um, you get quiet, and then I feel sad and I'm wondering what's going on there, what, what have I missed?
Speaker 2:What's happening for you when that happens? Um, I think his response to that question will help you understand how self aware he is of that issue, how you know much ownership he wants to take over that, if he even thinks it's a problem. If he doesn't think it's a problem, then there is no problem and there's nothing to work on and you just have to decide do I like this or do I not? Um, but that wouldn't be something that I'd want to endure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's great Great answer.
Speaker 2:All right, last question Ready.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, as a married couple, how do you find your blind spots? Yeah, I don't know that. I understand that question completely, but yeah you want to tackle it?
Speaker 1:Well, I think some people uh, I think some people are going hey, I want to make sure that that we don't have blind spots in our marriage that will come up later and be like, oh my gosh, I wish I didn't you know, wish to solve this.
Speaker 1:That, to me, it's it's about being in, in community, it's about being willing to take feedback. It's, uh, are you someone that can take feedback? And can people like, do you do a good job when your spouse uh confronts you or, um, when other people confront you? And so, uh, there are people in my life that, uh, throughout the years, that are very unconfrontable and the challenge is like, well then, you're going to live with a lot of blind spots because it's very hard to talk to you and and you, you know you punish people. Are you withdraw? Thinking about a couple of people, babe, I'm thinking about someone that that, when you've confronted them in the past, or when a big issue comes up, they tend to withdraw, um, quite a while, and so those types of people become unconfrontable and they end up living with blind spots because they don't want to see them. So, you know, we all have areas in our life that we need to grow and fix and change, and most of that comes with our willingness to to see them.
Speaker 1:Um, the other piece, too, I think, is taking some time to reevaluate with your spouse how, how do you, how are we doing, how are you doing? Um, all right. Do you feel like you're growing and thriving? Do you feel connected to me, asking questions with one another and assessing where you're at in your marriage and looking at the different categories? How are we doing in our finance? How are we doing our connection? How are we doing with kids? How powerful do you feel around me, how connected, like that's going to tell you right, like you're, you're taking inventory of your life and that's going to really give you a good perspective on how your life is doing and what you need to grow and change. If you go like man, our finances are amazing. We feel really connected. Our kids are doing really, really well.
Speaker 1:Like you may not have a lot of blind spots, you know we're physically active. Uh, it's like great. I mean, you're people who don't have a lot of blind spots are people who are looking, and it was I think it was Winston Churchill who said, uh, that he, during the war, he wanted to know the bad news because he wanted to know areas of weakness and areas that they could grow in. And a lot of people don't want to know bad news, but he, he didn't have a lot of blind spots because he's willing to hear the hard things, and so I to me, when I hear this question, I'm like awesome, be willing to hear the hard things and do regular inventories on your life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2:I think when I think, uh, when I read the question how to see your marriage blind spots I'm like, well, as a married couple, how do you know, as a couple, that you have blind spots If you're just soaring along and things feel really great, but you guys have some blind spots you don't know about? That's different to me than, like I think, how I heard you answer. The question is um, if I'm married, how do I know what my blind spots are? So, as an individual, we all have blind spots and I think, hopefully, you're in a marriage where your spouse is going to help you see your blind spots. We actually get into major trouble in life when we don't see our blind. You know when we can't see our blind spots. If you're driving a car, you know. My 2019 pilot has this awesome feature where a light goes on. If I turn on my blinker and I'm trying to switch lanes and somebody's in my blind spot, a light goes on, which is so helpful compared to past models.
Speaker 2:And so in in marriage, you know you want a spouse who's going to help you go. Whoa danger, danger, danger.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Let's look at this together. Um, and yeah, that's obviously a really important part of any healthy relationships that you'd have. You'd be in a relationship with people who are willing to give and receive input.
Speaker 1:It's true, right yeah.
Speaker 2:Big deal.
Speaker 1:All right, y'all Hopefully you guys enjoyed this week's episode. Um, once again, just reminding you, if you've come this far, we are doing a series on sex. Looks like we're going to start next week. We will, uh, we'll. We'll be announcing it on Instagram as well, so let your friends know. Otherwise, have an incredible week. We will see you next week on dates mates and babies with Valentines, See ya.