Dates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons

114. What Happens When a Woman is Forced into Fight or Flight Mode

• Jason and Lauren Vallotton

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“She never wanted to fight her husband. But somewhere along the way, she stopped feeling safe—and started showing up in survival mode.”

In this episode, Jason and Lauren unpack the emotional toll disconnection takes on a woman, especially when she's forced to lead, manage, and defend in her relationship. They explore what masculine energy looks like in a woman, why it’s often a trauma response—not rebellion—and how emotional safety (not control) is the key to restoring connection.

You’ll hear:

  • A real coaching story of a disconnected couple

  • How a woman feeling safe, seen and known activates connection

  • What healthy masculinity is designed to bring

  • Practical steps to rebuild trust and intimacy

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Introduction to Relational Connection

Speaker 2

We're the valetins and we are passionate about people.

Speaker 1

Every human was created for fulfilling relational connection.

Speaker 2

But that's not always what comes easiest.

Speaker 1

We know this because of our wide range of personal experience, as well as our years of working with people.

Speaker 2

So we're going to crack open topics like dating, marriage, family and parenting to encourage, entertain and equip you for a deeply fulfilling life of relational health.

Speaker 1

Welcome back everyone to Dates, mates and Babies with the Valetins. We're excited to be here with y'all.

Speaker 2

Yes, we are Hello again. This week on the podcast, we're diving into a topic that will be relevant to all, because we are talking about men and women.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Understanding Male-Female Differences

Speaker 2

And some of the differences and the implications of some of the differences inside of our intimate relationships and what that looks like, and then how our differences unknowingly can lead to places of massive disconnection if we're not careful. And hopefully the goal would be that the end of this episode, people would feel better equipped to operate inside of your God given identity as a man or a woman, and that that would be a place of power for you and compassion.

Speaker 1

Yeah, man or a woman, and that that would be a place of power for you and compassion. Yeah, I was recently doing a marriage counseling appointment and I do quite a bit of them right now, so they're fun and I'm really enjoying it. And in this counseling session, I found myself talking about this topic and I realized, oh, I don't know that we've talked about this a lot and so on, our podcast.

Speaker 1

I mean yeah, on our podcast, yeah, and basically here's a lot of the conversation. I was when I was working with a couple they have been disconnected for a very long time, really really long time, and they're an awesome couple. I say that because, like individually, they're really great people.

Speaker 2

Totally.

Speaker 1

I love both of them. Yeah, they're so much fun to be with and to talk to and to hang out with and um, but as we were working, they they have started to repair the relationship. They've started to turn towards one another. They've started to turn towards one another and then they had this really massive like setback which honestly, I like, I.

Speaker 1

I like it because as a counselor, you need to see what happens when more pressure gets put on sure couples and so, um, she started to talk about like we got so disconnected and so disconnected that he wasn't answering her text back. Ouch, she didn't know how he was going to come home, if he was going to come home soft or if he was going to come home just, you know, angry, frustrated, short. And that's been their pattern for a long time. Their pattern for a long time has been him. Honestly, it's been him just being very factual.

Speaker 1

He's a businessman and it's a lot about the facts. It's very little, uh, emotional connection. So he's been working on that. But when they got into this big challenging breakdown, he went back to facts, went back to kind of stonewalling, back to not really answering her texts very much and even when they tried to repair, he mostly just tried to repair with facts and so they ended up back in this like big ball and frustrated. And and it's really interesting I started to observe his wife. I realized like, oh she, the cycle that they've lived in for a long time is that she never knows what version of her husband she's going to get.

Speaker 2

Yes.

Speaker 1

She doesn't know if he's going to be soft or if he's going to be in fight mode. She doesn't know if he's going to repair with a felt connection or with facts. She doesn't know if she texts him, if he's going to text back to her something that's caring or something that's you know that where she's going to have to fight. So, anyways, part of what I started to realize is oh, this woman is on her back foot all the time, she is in fight or flight mode all the time and the dynamic for them really sucks because he's putting her in a place where she's never going to win and she's never going to be able to show up in the relationship the way that he really wants her to show up in the relationship, because she's stuck in her masculine mode.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

The Counseling Story: Disconnection Cycle

Speaker 1

And what a lot of men don't realize and understand is that a woman stuck in her masculine mode is never going to be the best like that's never going to be the best, Like that's never going to be the best dynamic for husband and wife. And I know that it's like, um, you know, talking about the feminine and the masculine is like a really hot, trendy topic right now.

Speaker 1

I'm only using that so that people can start to kind of understand, like, well, what does that look like and what does that actually mean? And. But when I started to break this down to them and really show them exactly what's happening, it made so much sense to them they were both like, oh my gosh, I didn't really know what's happening. It reminds me of when we first got married. I lived with five guys, five roommates. We've talked about this before.

Speaker 1

But even the way that I joked with you, even the way that I, that I tried to play with you, was very masculine. It was very dominant. I was, I was trying to play with you, the way that I played with those five guys, and it created this dynamic where, honestly, you've you moved into fight or flight mode and just hated that dynamic and for a lot of men they don't realize, like you're creating and setting up an environment for your wife in which she can't thrive and then ultimately, there's no real shared connection. And so you know, we want to break it down for you a little bit more and start talking through, like, what does that dynamic really look like? What does it look like? Uh, what does masculine energy look like versus in a woman. Um, and and why did God create some of those differences?

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's a really good distinct distinction to make.

Speaker 2

I think, for starters, we have to actually be willing to recognize and just state out loud God says in the Bible that he created male and female in his image, and so they are distinct, right, but they are both in his image, which means all of it is good.

Speaker 2

So the feminine qualities that we would refer to and the masculine qualities that we would refer to, they're good and they're in God's image. Um, I think it we should state right, like in the trendiness of the topic, when we refer to the masculine and the feminine, we're really referring to, uh, kind of like a set of energetic qualities or something or behavioral tendencies, not necessarily things that are relegated just to girls or guys, but we're talking about like a set of energy. And when we talk about the masculine versus the feminine, there's distinctions and and they're, I mean, they're easy to recognize. Ultimately they're easy to recognize. But they would be like, okay, masculine mode is kind of more doing or directional oriented, so focus, logic, a lot of action oriented things in there, protectiveness, right, like a protection kind of energy, independence and order seeking and kind of looking to make an impact or an influence, like those are very masculine. Those are masculine energetic traits.

Speaker 2

If we're going to use those words Whereas the feminine mode is more about being and receiving, and we would talk about like intuition and creativity and being receptive or open, uh, being really relational, emotional, even, um, being present, and a little bit like less linear, maybe just a little bit more dime, like multi-dimensional thinking outside of the box.

Speaker 2

So it's very relational as opposed to very task driven. So again, just want to say there's a time and a place where males and females need to operate inside of both. We're not talking about a should category, we're saying we're saying what happens inside of a marriage dynamic, when a woman is required to be in her more masculine trait as opposed to right. And then I just think it's worth going back for a second to kind of the biblical side of things, where we realize that when God distinguishes these roles between a man and a woman, they're very clear. So even in the story of creation there's this really dynamic partnership and there's not a hierarchy of worth. But we're seeing Adam kind of in the initiation of things, in the provision of things, the naming of things, the setting of boundaries, the first, and then we see Eve as this relational insider life bringer, the setting of boundaries, the you know, the first.

Speaker 2

And then we see Eve as this, like relational insider, life bringer, co-laborer, her presence is. It's not good without her presence. And although we know kind of what happens in the story, right, ultimately there's a dynamic relationship at play and they each play their part. They should play their part. Um, okay, so from that spot and kind of in that understanding, practically speaking, we could say, okay, what does it look like? So, what, what masculine energy in a woman looks like and I can say this because I have operated plenty in my masculine energy right Like, especially when my anxiety is high or I feel chaos and I have a strong desire to bring order to chaos, or whether it's at home or at work or whatever.

Speaker 2

But what it looks like, it's this, this almost like an over-responsibility to manage the emotional temperature of the home. So I feel very responsible to at all times. No, so if things feel tense or high or off, the kids feel chaotic, then I feel this very strong need to bring the opposite. And sometimes that can look quite confrontational. It can look very directive, it can look like cleaning up. You know what I mean. I can go into cleanup task mode.

Speaker 1

So uh, in in that. Let me just say, like in that mode it is, it is okay for you for a little bit, like we're talking about like a rubber band, like you can stretch a rubber band so far, but if you have to stay stretched out all the time, then there's tension pulling you back and so like when I come home, if I am playing my role correctly, a man brings peace to chaos. That's one of the main roles that he brings and we'll talk about that in a little bit.

Masculine vs Feminine Energy Explained

Speaker 1

We will. We'll go into that a bit more, but I can see when I come home if I'm doing my part. It's not that you never calm the kids down or never correct them or never. It's that my main role in here is to come and to bring some peace to the chaos is to do a lot of the correcting is to do a lot of the legwork in getting it back down to a place that's not chaotic.

Speaker 2

So yeah, absolutely so, if I feel like I need to be in control to be safe which safe is a big word. Right, like, technically, I'm safe inside the four walls of my house, but let me tell you how many moments in the day, with young kids running around, does my body say you're not safe?

Speaker 1

Like hide. That's a very great distinction.

Speaker 2

Yeah, or if I'm emotionally exhausted, if I've had, you know, we've walked through a season of grief, losing my mom, and there were so many days where I would wake up exhausted and have to attack the day.

Speaker 1

Because you don't feel like you can let your guard down.

Speaker 2

I can't feel like I can let my guard down. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm my. It's like my first season. My body was literally programmed for bad news.

Speaker 2

It was like I was constantly waiting for like something else, hard to happen. And then other times, you know, I just find myself kind of operating out of this like logic or defensiveness rather than in trust and flow. That especially is true if you and I are disconnected so I'm. I think the distinction would be you know, when our roles are good and balanced, I'm able to come and bring a lot of the nurture and a lot of the warmth. You know, on a good day you come home and just naturally, because I like it and because I'm good at it, the house feels good, the music is on, a candle might be lit, the kids are playing.

Speaker 2

I facilitated something creative we're doing. You know that's a. That's a good day, that's like a balanced day. You know. Other times, though, although moments in my day require me to actually be in those other modes, the beauty of it is that when you come home, when we're connected and when we're both playing our part, I get to rest into the more nurture, creativity and all of that. While you're bringing a lot more naturally, you're bringing a lot more of the steadiness, a lot more of the order.

Speaker 1

It's to me, the big thing is the ecosystem.

Speaker 2

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1

If you live in an ecosystem where the woman has to create the safety, the woman has to be on guard in order, because she doesn't trust her husband. Doesn't trust her husband, um, she doesn't uh, she's having to create the emotional uh energy in the house and the emotional connection, that temperature. Like you're in a place, really, where you're having to protect, you're having to provide, you're having to uh create the safety and you were, you were supposed to, you're supposed to partner with me in that, but you were never supposed to be the, the actual protector and creator of that.

Speaker 1

It's back to yeah you were designed to follow my lead and in this dynamic with this husband and wife, she is designed to follow his lead. So when she's at home, going man, is he going to come home frustrated or is he going to come home soft? Is he a safe place to land or is he not a safe place to land? Is he going to show up with our children and be present or not be present, like that creates in her?

Speaker 2

Even just the uncertainty of that.

Speaker 1

This incredibly stressful place. Yeah, it's combative. Instead, it's supposed to be all initiated from him and she's coming in as a helpmate to help uphold that and it creates tons of stress for a woman, like tons and tons and tons of stress for a woman. Yeah, and you can't possibly thrive in that.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah of stress for a woman, and you can't possibly thrive in that. Yeah, yeah, there there's there's a lot of science behind this that's readily available. Right now, I feel like this is again. This is a bit of a hot topic. Before I jump into the science which I think is very worth talking about, I do want to just mention one more um biblical principle that I think would help us as believers, see how this is depicted in scripture.

Speaker 2

But you know, in scripture the relationship between Christ and the church is one of our best visual examples of what it looks like to have kind of this more masculine energy versus feminine energy and in that relationship between Christ and the church. Well, for example, okay, in Ephesians five it says husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. So we see the masculine Christ is this sacrificial, initiating protector the love bringer the love stander.

Speaker 2

He's vigilant over that and in the right dynamic it says later in that or earlier in that verse it says as the church submits to Christ, so wives should also submit to their husbands and everything. So we see the feminine, the church, responsive, trusting, honoring. And it's not, obviously it's not about power imbalance. But nobody's wondering who's the head. Christ is the head and in that perfect union there's a mutual self-givingness that's rooted in love. But each play their part really independently and very importantly each play their part really independently and very importantly.

When Women Operate in Masculine Energy

Speaker 1

It's a great picture because when we start having as as individuals, when we stop trusting God, when we stop when I feel like I have to protect myself, all of a sudden. I'm back into this place of stress and fear and overworking and emotional dysregulation when I when. I see God as loving, as caring, as connecting, as strong as powerful. I'm back. I'm back, able to go. Okay, I still have to manage myself and I still have to manage my world, but I'm connected to this ultimate source of power love, security, An absolute, unchanging secure.

Speaker 2

You know what's coming.

Speaker 1

It is a very good picture of husband and wife.

Speaker 2

Yes, absolutely Okay. So for the science aspect, because there is that too. God really did create our minds and bodies and the connection there to reflect how he created us. So a lot of people are familiar with what's called the polyvagal theory and we are a little bit, because our daughter has some nervous system regulation issues, which the implications are the same in that situation. But it's basically Dr Steven I don't know how to say his last name Porges or something. Um, the polyvagal theory basically says emotional safety activates connection and the opposite threats activate fight or flight, which shuts down your openness to connection. So that's huge. Um, there's a lot of research there. We talk a lot about the Gottman Institute and the research that they do on relationships.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

So from the Gottmans we've learned that defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, those are the kinds of things that destroy connection.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and end up in divorce, right.

Speaker 2

Yeah, and you get to a spot where you're using, you're reaching for tools, communication tools like defensiveness and stonewalling and criticism. You get there when you feel hopeless that any of your other tools are working right. When you don't feel heard over and over, when there's patterns of breakdown inside of your communication, you lose your ability. You well, it's easy to lose your ability to behave well quote behave well inside of conflict and you, you do things that ultimately just tear apart your connection.

Speaker 1

I mean ultimately, if you think about it, when you live in an environment that where there's not emotional safety, where there's not deep connection, where there's not predictability, not predictability, we end up in a spot where we are wiring ourselves to to fight, flight or freeze right. We're wiring ourselves for combat. I mean, ultimately, we feel like we're living in a very combative environment and it's unsustainable.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

It crushes us.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2

So, yeah, okay. And then lastly, now this is a book by um the female brain is a book by Dr Luann I think it's Bryson Dean. This is it's fascinating. It can be controversial. I can't say that I've read it, so I am not endorsing this book.

Speaker 2

However, I know that it explores how, like, female biology and hormones really shape behavior and emotions and relationships all the way from birth to menopause. So that's, it's an interesting, it's fascinating to think about, um, but what we do know is that there is a biological, chemical makeup of a woman and also a man that would absolutely impact our levels of like, empathy and emotional cue. Reading um, communication, bonding, nurturing, stress responses, sex drive expressions all those kinds of things are wildly impacted by what is chemically going on inside of our body at any given season of life. So you know that is not a. That is a very brief overview of, like some, of where science touches these concepts we're talking about. But ultimately, I think what we're saying is there's a lot of reasons behind why some of these dynamics are at play inside of marriages.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and ultimately when, as a man, I always feel like a man is never supposed to stop opening the door for a woman, initiating that, and we were taught by our fathers.

Speaker 1

I mean, I was taught by my dad you always open a door for a woman, you're the first one to step in, you're the first one to make sure that her needs are being taken care of right. And I think that mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, a man is always supposed to open the door for a woman and never supposed to be in a spot where she's wondering if he's going to take the lead in that or not. And so when we talk about what is the role of a man, the role of a man is so vital, because if a man shows up and does his job, it doesn't matter really what you come with. I'm still going to show up and bring safety, protection, comfort, right, I'm still going to do that. And so when a man leads, it's incredible what happens in the family. And so the role of a man is ultimately to provide, protect and promote.

Biblical and Scientific Foundations

Speaker 1

And we talk about this a lot in Braveco and I won't go into all of it, but that that provision is we used to think a lot about. Nine to five, right, I go to work 360 days a year and I'm bringing the money. Okay, that's one small portion for sure. Get a haircut, get a real job. But mostly what we're talking about in provision is that emotional yes, if a man shows up and he provides a place for a woman to land, for his kids to land, for that emotional connection I am providing a lifeline of, of safety, of trust, of care, and the ecosystem turns into this place in which the family can thrive. Okay, the protection.

Speaker 1

Again, guys like to think about it a lot like this, like, oh man, if somebody ever touched my wife's butt, like I'm going to crush them. And as a young man, you like fantasize about beating up this other dude that was trying to, or a grown man, you like fantasize about beating up this other dude that was trying to, or a grown man. You're like man, if any, if any, guy ever touches my daughter, I'm going to thrash him.

Speaker 2

You know, I was about to say that's how I feel about my kids. Yeah, you think a lot about that, yeah.

Speaker 1

But that's one small, tiny, teeny little piece.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

You're back to. The protection is so much more about the emotional connection than it is about sure. Learn how to use a gun, lock your doors at night, provide that workout so that you can actually handle yourself some. You don't just get worked over, but you're back to. If a man shows up emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually, he provides an incredible place of protection emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. I am holding the thermostat, I am turning it up on the emotional, the mental, the physical, the spiritual. I am the one that's supposed to lead the charge in that. So I'm not letting you lead the charge on working out. I'm leading the charge on that, or the way that we talk to one another.

Speaker 1

I'm the one that's responsible to provide to actually be the example, in that I'm the one that's supposed to be the example to our kids. Now, you are also responsible to be an example, but you're not the initiator of it, you're not the keeper of it. I'm the one that's initiating it.

Speaker 2

Well, I can be, but it doesn't work very well. And here's the thing, people, I don't know why exactly. I don't know what feels so threatening about this concept to some people when we start talking about, like ideally, how the, the man and the woman function separately and differently. I don't know why it's so triggering, but I'm convinced that anybody that wants to argue with it just hasn't experienced it like I think what we're saying is you can, you can be the initiator, you can be the one that's more vigilant and protective, and but what it feels like to be in a marriage where I am not towing those lines, it's anything but limiting.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

It's anything but constricting, Like it's it's. It's it's where the most freedom happens for me. I don't need to toe the line on those things I don't want to. It means that I get to show up in my best brain space, like my best brain space, biologically, chemically. My best brain space is when I can show up, not having to toe the line on some of those things, so that I can be the epitome of all the other things that God created me to be in our home.

Speaker 1

It just makes so much sense. It's the way that a man is literally built, so we have so much more testosterone that is flowing through our bodies. That makes me more aggressive than you, which isn't horrible, it's great.

Speaker 2

It makes my muscles grow more.

Speaker 1

It gives me the ability to, if you go back a thousand years, confront an enemy totally pursue an animal totally, hunt down right, hunt down, go, travel, go and explore, find different lands.

A Man's Role: Provide, Protect, Promote

Speaker 1

Like my ability to conquer, to defend to, to protect, even on a physical level, I am way more geared and wired to be able to do that long-term than you are. And so, man, it just makes tons of sense. I think the struggle comes from women who have felt so controlled and belittled because you can't lift the same amount, because you can't X, y or Z. Therefore, it's a commentary on your value and your worth and your competency, and it's actually not. It's a value on what God designed you to do. It's like saying a monkey sucks because he can't stay underwater like a fish. It really is. It's like, well, no, we don't all have to be fish in order to be valuable, or we don't all have to be monkeys in order to be valuable, or we don't all have to be monkeys in order to be valuable. We have to stay in our role. Here I want to paint a target for a man.

Speaker 2

Okay.

Speaker 1

Anywhere a woman feels safe, seen and known, she will thrive.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

And why I say it like this is um the in this counseling appointment. He said something out loud. He said yeah, I noticed that when she's with her girlfriends she's like a different person and I get like why isn't she like that around?

Speaker 2

me.

Speaker 1

He literally said that out loud and I was like, oh yeah, I'm so glad that you said that. It's because she feels safe, seen and known there.

Speaker 2

Right.

Speaker 1

If, if you created a spot where she felt safe, seen and known, she would blossom in your environment. The problem is is that a woman, she's not going to come out and be vulnerable? Be soft, be nurturing nurturing in a world in which she thinks that she has to fight and protect herself. Yeah, guys, this is massive and, ladies, this is massive for you too, because in your environment, if you're wondering, like man, what is going on, like why isn't there a felt fondness?

Speaker 1

So this is what I want to bring back to. I keep saying this a lot in counseling appointments. It's a word that we don't use a lot, but fondness is really what you want in your environment. Everybody wants an environment of fondness right.

Speaker 1

You walk in. You know what that's like. You walk in and you feel cared for, you've. It feels warm, it feels soft. It's not quick, it's, it's intentional. That is a fond environment, nurturing environment. Okay, a woman creates a fond environment when she's in a place of safety. So it's back to the target for a man is does my wife feel safe, seen and known?

Speaker 1

Yeah does she, or Is she wondering if she's leading or if I'm leading Totally, if I'm going to show up and protect or if she's going to get left high and dry? That's right. It's a massive, massive win for a husband when he starts to realize like, oh, my job is to show up to allow her to feel safe, seen and known, or for her to continually push back and go. I don't want to play this role. I don't want to be the one that sets the tone for our kids. I don't want to be the one that that is setting the tone emotionally.

Speaker 1

I don't want to be like. I need you to step up and do that and I will come in and partner with you in it.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's so good, it makes me think of, so I have, I can think of, like two of my very best friends on the planet. The three of us girls are wired really differently All girls obviously, Um, but we're wired really different and I'm I watch in our marriages. We have three very different marriage dynamics and I can say so the known piece, safe and seen and known. This is absolutely huge because, okay, for one example, like I would be much more stereotypically nurturing and I would be more of the like stereotype mom than one friend that I have in my mind.

Speaker 2

She's a mom of all boys. She's the perfect mom of boys. She's she's adventurous, she's strong, she does CrossFit, she loves to push herself really hard, she is wildly creative, she is outside of the box. She does not want to be limited at all. That sounds like a more masculine energy, but she has only been able to be that free version of herself as her husband has grown to see and know her more in that realm. So she has also grown. Over the years that I've known her, which has been a very long time, the more she's grown like in that dynamic of her marriage, the more she feels safe, seen and known by her husband, the more nurturing, the more you know she's. She's raising kids and she is. She's never been more soft, more nurturing, more at home inside of herself or in her space, but those other parts of her have come even more alive. So it's not, it's not. This is not um, not um. This, this is not relegated to a personality. No, this dynamic we're talking about is not relegated to a personality.

Speaker 1

it's literally how god wired us even for the man, I mean I know men that exactly more type a and are very structured, very, very structured and more geared towards what you would think like a Navy SEAL, and I know guys that are very creative, incredibly creative.

Speaker 2

Yeah, musicians, artists, men that don't organize the heck out of their house, yeah.

Speaker 1

And you're back to the dynamic is still true. Yes, is that your wife is always going to be a better version of herself when she's not leading the charge A hundred percent, and you're always going to feel more respected, more believed in and more nurtured when you step up and you lead the charge in the relationship and it creates this incredible dynamic inside of a marriage where real intimacy can thrive.

Creating Safety for Women to Thrive

Speaker 1

Yep a marriage where real intimacy can thrive, where you feel the deepest. The family actually feels the deepest. If you ever notice those families that you're like gosh, they're so incredibly connected. What is that thing? What creates really, really great families? You go, oh, they feel safe. Everybody in there feels safe. The kids feel safe, the wife feels safe. If you walk into a family where they don't feel safe, it's combative.

Speaker 2

Yeah, those families that you think of. It's never a disconnected, absent dad and it's never an overly controlled, over-vigilant mom you know, vigilant over vigilant mom.

Speaker 1

Yep, it's true, it's it's regardless of their individual personalities right. The environment has a safety nurture fondness to it. Yeah, absolutely, and that brings us incredible, incredible dynamic. So yeah, it's, it's being quick to repair, it's being quick to be owners, it's normalizing connection. But, also, I think, for those ladies out there, if you're listening to this and you're like, oh, that's me, I'm stuck in, I am perpetually stuck in fight or flight control or flight control, dominate, um, frustrated.

Speaker 1

It's giving that your husband a. It's starting to have a conversation that says I really want this to be your role and not mine. I really need more from you and so that I can actually be more nurturing and more. You know I don't have to hold the standard here. I can come and partner. It's a be incredible benefit. So really good guys, hopefully this blesses you. Um, babe, tell us, tell them a little bit about our patron.

Speaker 2

Yeah, so gosh, if you are loving this content, uh, and if you want us to make more of this awesome free content, then you could consider joining our team and, for a subscription of any price either a one-time or a subscription of any price you could give to our Patreon account, be a part of our team and help us keep creating this awesome content. We would be so appreciative.

Speaker 1

It's true. All right, y'all have an incredible week. We'll see you next week.