Dates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons
We’re the Vallottons, and we’re passionate about people! Every human was created for fulfilling connections in relationship and family, but it’s not always what comes easiest! We know this because of our wide range of personal experiences as well as years of working with people. So we’re going to crack open topics like dating, marriage, family and parenting to encourage, entertain and equip you for a deeply fulfilling life of relational health.
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Dates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons
122. A Conversation on Crisis Pregnancy with Kirsten Lapp of Northstate Care Clinic
In this powerful episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton sit down with Kirsten Lapp, Executive Director of Northstate Care Clinic, to unpack the emotional, spiritual, and practical realities surrounding crisis pregnancy. With empathy and clarity, Kirsten shares what women are really facing in these moments—and how we can all play a part in offering hope.
In this episode, they discuss:
- What defines a crisis pregnancy and why many women find themselves in one
- The cultural and social pressures women face—from social media to the healthcare system
- Myths and misconceptions about women in these situations
- How Northstate Care Clinic provides compassionate care, from the first phone call to long-term support
- What empowerment really looks like in the face of fear and uncertainty
- A historic opportunity to help NSCC purchase a permanent home across from the local abortion clinic to serve even more women in Northern California
Jason and Lauren also share that JVM is contributing $1,000 to help make this dream a reality—and they invite listeners to partner with them in this mission.
To support the building campaign, learn more, or refer someone in need: Visit friendsofnscc.org !
“We believe every woman deserves to be seen, supported, and strengthened—especially when the stakes feel highest.”
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For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !
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We're the Valetans and we are passionate about people.
Speaker 1:Every human was created for fulfilling relational connection.
Speaker 2:But that's not always what comes easiest.
Speaker 1:We know this because of our wide range of personal experience, as well as our years of working with people.
Speaker 2:So we're going to crack open topics like dating, marriage, family and parenting to encourage, entertain and equip you for a deeply fulfilling life of relational health.
Speaker 1:Welcome back everyone to Dates, mates and Babies with the Valetins Babe. Happy Wednesday morning.
Speaker 2:Happy Wednesday. It's good to be here, happy summertime almost. I say that because it is not actually technically a summer for another week or so, but it's summertime and in reading it, is heating up, so we are. We're swimming a lot.
Speaker 1:We're swimming, we are.
Speaker 2:the kids are devouring popsicles watermelon, watermelon I think I ate too much watermelon, and this week actually, tonight starts the Brave Co-Conference that we've been talking about, so it's a big week for us. It's massive, it is. This is also a special week here on the podcast because we are going to be having a conversation with a new friend who happens to be the executive director of our local crisis pregnancy center called North State Care Clinic, and I want to, before I introduce you guys to Kristen Lapp, I want to tell you a little bit of context for why we want to have this conversation today, and I'll let you jump in too, babe, because you actually set this all up and I'm so excited. Basically, you know, our podcast is all about family and emotional and relational health, and dates, mates, as you know, and babies happen to be the topics of interest here, and when we talk in the faith space about family, health and thriving, obviously we know, even within our own story, families come to being in so many different ways, and our goal as believers, as parents, as husband and wife, as friends and a community, ultimately we are advocates for healthy family and we are advocates for children, and so, from a theological perspective and a moral standard perspective and a core value perspective, we are absolutely pro-life in every sense of the word, and so in our community, as well as in the communities around our country and around the world, actually highlighting, supporting, advocating for and partnering with organizations that are spending their lives to care for women and children.
Speaker 2:I mean, this is a huge part of how we actually advocate for healthy families in our community. And so Kristen, as the executive director of North State Care Clinic, she's here this morning and I'll let you introduce yourself in a moment, kirsten but yeah, we're so glad to have her with us because she's bringing a level of knowledge and expertise to this topic that we would have a lot of passion about, but maybe not quite as many. We don't necessarily have the facts. We want Kirsten here to actually help us unpack the facts and help our listeners understand about some ways that there's room for partnership and, ultimately, we want to see her vision, the vision of the North state care clinic, actually absolutely come to pass.
Speaker 1:Yeah, as well there's. They have a really um, like kind of a once in a lifetime opportunity right now, like a really critical mission that I'm incredibly excited about. Um, to me, there's a lot of people that find themselves in a situation that they never wanted to, and sometimes we get the dates mates and babies flipped around and totally you know, you end up pregnant.
Speaker 1:Um, you end up young. You end up in a spot where you aren't financially able to take care of yourself. I mean, there's so many different scenarios in which we'll talk about. So Chris Lamb, who's one of my best friends, is on the board and, I believe, runs the board. He started to talk to me about what you guys are doing and, anyways, I just knew like we have to jump in and find a way that we can help are doing and anyways, I just knew like we have to jump in and find a way that we can help but also educate people and help them to be supported in a really, really tough time.
Speaker 2:So I'm excited about this conversation. Okay, so, listeners, we're so happy to introduce you to Kirsten Lapp and Kirsten, I might I wonder if we might just start by hearing you talk a little bit about your role at the North State Care Clinic and, and then specifically, what is our crisis pregnancy center and what are the services that we provide and what is the framework that we kind of have that supports this care clinic Like? What are the initiatives? What is our goal?
Speaker 3:So thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be with you guys today. My name is Kirsten Lapp. I'm the executive director. I just have been as executive director of North State and men that we serve that are facing unexpected pregnancies. I served as the assistant director for a year and a half and then I was a bookkeeper there part-time for three years before that, and I just fell in love with the place. I fell in love with the people.
Speaker 3:I fell in love with being part of tangibly helping women that are in scary situations and being able to actually offer them hope and health services that can actually be the intervention that changes their lives and is able to help them in that moment of crisis. I had been praying anyway to be part of being able to save babies, so I felt like this opportunity was just a privilege and an honor to be part of it.
Speaker 1:Love it.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I just stepped in as executive director. We have our specific pregnancy center. We have two arms. We have a medical arm and a resource arm. So we, with our medical services, we're able to offer verified pregnancy tests and limited ultrasounds. So we offer ultrasounds actually all throughout the three trimesters. We're able to show that the baby is growing in the uterus. We're able to show that it's viable. We can show them their heartbeat and we can show them their gestational age. So any woman can come in, even if she's six months and thinking, oh, I don't know, I'm scared, I might want to have a late-term abortion, she can come in and we can show her her baby. We can show her her baby's developmental stage. We can show them the heartbeat and we know that if a woman is at all abortion vulnerable or abortion-minded and she's able to have an ultrasound, 75% of the time she'll change her mind because, she's able to actually like connect with her baby.
Speaker 3:She's actually able to see that it's not just a blob of tissue. She's able to see okay, this, this is the spinal cord and this is the heartbeat, and this is how old my baby is.
Speaker 3:So, it's, it's incredible. It's like it's the most life-giving thing to be part of that. And then we have a resource side. So for all of our families that have chosen life, we're there to support them with whatever they need. They sign up for parenting classes and then they meet with one of our trained advocates and then they can get all kinds of resources.
Speaker 3:So we can give them cribs and bassinets and strollers and diapers and wipes and clothing and anything and everything that they would need. And we also know we have women that come in and they're scared. We talk with them through all of their options. We talk with them on their three choices.
Speaker 1:You have three choices parenting, abortion, adoption.
Speaker 3:We talk with them through the pros and cons of it. We are not there to coerce their decisions. We're not there to manipulate their choice. We're there to offer them in a way to make an informed choice so they can actually make the healthiest choice for them. If a woman comes to us and talks to us and still go chooses to have an abortion, we love her. We want her to come back. We still keep in contact with her. We still follow up with her. We want her to know she is loved, regardless of her choice.
Speaker 3:So we always, always, always, are love first with our conversations and how we want our clients to be able to feel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1:That's pretty incredible. I mean just being able to, at a moment's notice, have a mom come in and see the baby, or even a mom and dad come in and see that baby and connect with the baby and give a bunch of information that really helps to humanize. What's happening is so special. What can we talk about, like what is a crisis pregnancy in what's the most common way that women get into? You know that situation.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we. We see women of all ages and stages. So we see women who are 15, 16. They might have had a one-night stand or they might have had a long-term boyfriend and they are unexpectedly pregnant. So they come in and we're able to offer them support. We're able to offer them resources to offer them support. We're able to offer them resources, we're able to help them with medical and sexual health information so they can get love and hopefully be able to get the support, all the support that they need. And then we have women that are older and facing unexpected pregnancies. We had a woman on Friday. She's 33.
Speaker 3:Her youngest is 10, and she didn't think that she could get pregnant. She was unexpectedly pregnant and she honestly, really, honestly, didn't know that she could do it. Yeah so she came in super overwhelmed.
Speaker 1:So, for a woman like that, who's really overwhelmed like is there I. Of course she gets to see the baby, but then what's the next step? Maybe for her?
Speaker 3:to help.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Do you guys offer a service to help talk her through it, or is there counseling or anything like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because it is. It's really scary for those women. They feel like they're backed into a corner, they feel scared, they feel overwhelmed, and so that's my heart is for them to know that they're not backed into a corner, that we can actually offer them immediate hope and immediate health.
Speaker 3:So we get them plugged in with our we call it our Earn While you Learn program so they meet with our trained lay advocates and then we walk them through whatever they're needing. We walk them through relationship courses, parenting classes, and then we get them set up with referrals in the community that they need If they need OB referrals, if they need wraparound services, if they need help with being in recovery, if they are struggling with drug addiction and they're like, hey, I need help with recovery, we get them referred for wraparound services and and then we continue to support them in house with our advocates and then our all of our resources material, wise.
Speaker 1:I mean, having having a baby anytime is challenging. Yeah, and I remember when we had Edie. You know, I think, how old was Evan he was 15, 16. He was 15 or 16. For me coming back into having kids again, it was your first time having a baby. I was like holy smokes.
Speaker 2:Totally.
Speaker 1:And we have a great marriage. And we have a great family and a stable home and I can imagine how overwhelming it is for a lot of people who would find themselves in that situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think the overwhelm is so relatable and understandable. And then I wonder if you can speak to this, kirsten, because I think women in this situation, who would consider their surprise pregnancy a crisis moment, life, um, they're also up against a lot of cultural messages. And they're up against, I mean, you. You kind of described them feeling backed into a corner, and I don't I wonder. You know, I've never been in this position, but I wonder if backing in, being backed into the corner, isn't just I'm going to have a child to care for, but it's the what are my options and what are the messages coming at me that are that are affecting my decision making in this process?
Speaker 3:Could you talk?
Speaker 2:a little bit about that, because I want our listeners to put themselves in these women's shoes for a moment and actually understand what they're really facing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a great question because that is how most of our clients that are facing that feel. It's not like they're villains.
Speaker 2:They're not villains thinking about killing babies because they don't care. Do you know what I mean? Like that's not what we're dealing with here. So, I'd love to, I'd love for you to unpack a little bit of like the profile of a woman in this situation.
Speaker 3:No, I, love that question Cause I um and I often have the conversation with uh people in the pro-life world that say it's just a selfish decision. It's just a selfish decision and I actually couldn't disagree more. It's because people are very scared or it's because women are in trauma themselves, they're in abuse themselves and they don't want to bring their baby into that situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I have five other kids and they don't actually know how they could selflessly care for their other children if they have a newborn on their hands as well. I mean just like the situations are innumerable.
Speaker 3:It is. It's most often because it's a big, scary thing to be able to have to bring a baby into the world that they're in. So we want to get down actually on their level and say how can we actually help you? We had a girl. A young girl came in last week. She came in for a pregnancy test and she's deciding to carry. But she said I'm going and hiding right now Because all of my family wants me to abort.
Speaker 3:Wow, I'm going and hiding right now because all of my family wants me to abort. So I am just going like off the radar, because I have to be able to make this choice for myself, because I'm getting so much pressure.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:So it's you. They're constantly getting inundated with messages from society, from people around them, to say OK, it's much easier not to have this. It's much easier to keep choosing your life. It's much easier You're going to have to give up all your dreams, if you have, if you choose this baby. So I think that's a big um, even narrative that I want to be able to have the conversation about, too, is that you can. You can have your life, you can have your dreams, you can have hope and also have your baby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean having five kids ourselves and you know multiple different ages. I think this idea that you can't have a baby and have your dream, so much of life is not built around what we want to do, but often there's so much value in the responsibility that we get in caring for children and building a future for them and pouring into them and our world. The narrative in life is build a life that you're really happy with. Do things that are really great for you. Climb the top of some ladder and I could just imagine how many young women and even young men are under this pressure, this false reality that if I have a baby, I'm going to get robbed of the things that I really want to do. And In order to really take care of a baby, I have to make X amount of money or I have to have my life set up in a certain way.
Speaker 1:When I had my first child, I was 18 years old when my wife got pregnant and when we had Elijah. I remember getting laid off that year in the wintertime in Weaverville and there wasn't any other options for work. So I split firewood. That's literally how I split firewood, and my parents didn't have any extra money at that time. They had moved, they had just lost their business um and were facing bankruptcy. That didn't actually happen but, like our family was in a really tough time.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:And I just buckled down. I went and split firewood and sold firewood and that's how I made it. But I think this idea that okay, in order to have a happy, healthy family, or in order to really have my life make sense, and go this direction, like that's just not how life works. Life doesn't work like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so really helping to come around these people who are scared who have been taught one thing and give them support, the support they need to.
Speaker 2:And empower them, I think, into the reality that life hands us all kinds of unexpected circumstances and finding a way to feel powerful in the midst of the circumstances you find yourself in.
Speaker 2:You know that's it's not quite as scary when you're in that position inside of community, jay, and I always say we could do anything that life hands us if we're surrounded by family and friends. So I love so much about, I love so much of what you're providing in in regards to connection and community and resources. I mean, that's what these women really need, folks. We're going to have a part two of this conversation and dig into it a bit more, but what we're really excited for Kirsten to share with our listeners about today is, like this big initiative that you guys have taken on. And, kirsten, I wonder if you could just share a little bit about the building you're hoping to purchase and why this is such a kind of radical moment in our local crisis pregnancy centers history, and then what we can do. We'll kind of unpack for you guys a little bit what you can do to kind of support.
Speaker 1:Also too. Yeah, with that can you talk about maybe some of the like statistics of how many women you guys see? In babies a year that you're you know helping to rescue that type of stuff.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we, as of this year alone, we've served 411 unique clients.
Speaker 2:That's amazing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we've been able to offer over 200 pregnancy tests and over 200 ultrasounds just in this year alone.
Speaker 1:That's so cool.
Speaker 3:So that, yeah, that's and that's. You know, that's a life Every single one of those is a life that we're able to touch. So we've been able to grow our services, which has been wonderful. I think last year we had a total of 1,100 unique clients that we were able to see and then we've been working to keep track well of our statistics of actual babies saved. Sometimes women leave and we don't get to hear from them.
Speaker 3:So the ones that we know of for sure. For sure is, since 2009, when they started keeping statistics at the pregnancy center, we know for sure at least 329 babies have been saved.
Speaker 2:That's incredible.
Speaker 3:Minimum.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:So and I just use that as a conservative number to say, hey, this is what we know of, at least that we've been able to follow up with.
Speaker 1:That's incredible.
Speaker 2:Wow, amazing. Okay, so let's talk about this big project.
Speaker 3:We're so excited to partner with you guys, thank you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you, tell us about it.
Speaker 3:So we are in escrow right now for a building to be able to move our services. The building is at a really strategic location. It's right across from our local abortion facility. It's the only place in Reading that offers surgical abortions. Wow, they've been there for over 30 years. There's been a lot of interesting hostility and tension on that corner in Reading because of what happens there. So we officially launched escrow 60 days ago. We're finishing out our last 30 days of it. So we're in this push to buy this building. Our hope is to be able to be over there in the strategic location to be able to offer our hope services and our health services so women can come over to us and get women's health services and know that they're loved and know that they don't have to choose abortion.
Speaker 1:It's such a incredible opportunity because to be right across the street from the abortion clinic and to be a sign of hope and life and love and health it's like hey, stop over here before you go over there and it's free and let us love on you and make whatever decision you want after. That is such an incredible message and the opportunity to do it right now is really fantastic. Where are you guys at in the campaign? As far as what are you hoping to raise?
Speaker 3:What's the timeline for it and where are we at? We have about 30 days left in escrow and we need about 360,000 more. So we're on the last leg of it. We've been incredibly blessed with the community connections and the uniting over this project we've experienced. It's been, it's been humbling, it's been beautiful. So we're finishing out this last stretch.
Speaker 2:We need about we need about 380,000 more okay to finish this out within 30 days time, yeah, wow yeah, it was it a million dollar building.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what it was. So you guys have raised already what somebody 700 almost 700,000.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's incredible that is amazing, you guys have raised already what Somebody do the math 700, almost 700,000.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's incredible.
Speaker 1:That is amazing you know Lauren and I wanted to invite our listeners into partnering. And everybody often feels like man, I can't give a lot. Or we also know that there's churches that follow us, pastors that follow us, and what we're asking is that you would partner with us.
Speaker 1:So Lauren and I are giving $1,000 from our ministry towards the project, and it's not a ton, but it's what we can do, and we know that again, when these young, vulnerable families come in moms come in, dads come in they don't have the resources that they need in order to get support and care, and so every dollar that you give literally transforms, saves, helps. And we all can't be there in person, but our money is our way of giving what we can't give in person and providing an opportunity and really partnering with God. When Chris was talking with me, it really did Like.
Speaker 1:I really had this moment of like oh, this is a moment in history that we have to grab ahold of and step up and really help, and so I would love for our listeners Um, if you're married, if you would just partner with your spouse and, and, honestly, if you just take a minute and say, hey, is this something that we should give into $10, $5, a hundred dollars,1,000, $10,000. If you're a business owner, um, this is a tax deductible donation.
Speaker 1:So, um, if you're looking for a place to give and to sow into again, we have 30 days to really close the gap and to set the um, this center up with, without having to pay overhead, without being able to come in and be really successful by owning their own building, would be incredible.
Speaker 1:And so if you guys would partner with us and pray about it if you're a church if you'd be interested in maybe even talking to your congregation we've had a bunch of churches in the North State here partner with us and just talk about the mission and the vision and what's happening. But if you'd be willing to, you know, maybe talk to your board about it and present it before your team, your church, that'd be awesome.
Speaker 2:I think it's an amazing opportunity for so many reasons, but one thing that I know is true for us as believers is that the power of our prayer and our intentional sowing of resources is not limited by our zip code, and so I think in the kingdom, whether it's in our town or in a town across the country- or in another nation.
Speaker 2:You know what happens when your heart kind of grabs a hold of somebody's vision and you go that is the Lord, like that is heaven coming to earth in a way that matters not just for my local community but for for humanity at large.
Speaker 2:And so I think it's important in these moments that we keep in mind like an opportunity is coming up in Reading for believers to actually partner with life and thriving over these mothers and children and fathers, families really and that as we partner together in in the body to actually go after one initiative, what we see over and over and over again is that it actually creates this ripple effect into other communities and other spaces. I don't know what that is. I think it's momentum in the spirit, and so this is an opportunity for any of our listeners, wherever you live, to actually partner with something happening in Reading, knowing that a ripple effect will happen and our communities at large are going to be impacted when we come together and make these kinds of commitments and decisions. So, my gosh, it feels like an exciting opportunity. I wonder, kirsten, could you tell us how people could actually get connected with you or your team? How can they give actually?
Speaker 3:Sure, so they can go to our website, which is friendsofnsccorg.
Speaker 2:Okay, we'll put this in the show notes for you guys listening.
Speaker 3:So they can get all the information on there. They can also contact me and I'm happy to send any information. We're happy to meet with people, we're happy to answer questions. We're happy to do interviews. We're happy to um, do interviews. Whatever is helpful for inspiration, cool, so I can give you my my email as well.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. Okay, we'll put these uh, we'll put these emails and links and things in the show notes to make it easy for you guys. And then, um, next week we are hoping to circle back and actually have part two of this conversation. Hopefully we will have raised some money by then. But we also want to go in a little bit deeper into maybe, some story. Just to you know, there's so much to connect with when you actually know somebody's story. There's so much more to connect with in that realm, and I think it's when we're moved with a heart of compassion that empowerment comes on a supernatural level, to help and to give and to sow. So, guys, thanks for listening. Kirsten, thanks for being with us and for chatting with us. We appreciate your work and, yeah, we're believing with you for amazing fruit coming from this campaign. So, thanks for being with us. Thank you, guys, for listening. As always, we would invite you to share this episode with your friends and family and, yeah, let's raise some money, guys. All right, have a great week.