Ep 66: The Ripple Effect - How Coaching Transforms Every Aspect of Life with Candy Motzek

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🚀 Unlock Your Potential: The Transformative Power of Coaching

In this eye-opening episode, we sit down with Candy Motzek, a coach for coaches who reveals the incredible impact of coaching on personal and professional growth. From breaking through mental barriers to creating actionable momentum, Candy shares her insights on how coaching can transform your life, especially for ADHD entrepreneurs and professionals.

📌 What You'll Learn:

• The difference between therapy and coaching
• How 20-minute coaching sessions can create massive breakthroughs
• The power of the "momentum journaling" technique
• Why "I don't know" is not an acceptable answer in coaching
• Strategies for building your personal development toolbox
• How to show up for yourself and create real change
• The importance of self-love and personal growth

🗣️ Featured Quote: "Coaching helps us understand who we are and how we can grow and be more aligned with our purpose on this planet." – Candy Motzek

👤 About Our Guest: Candy Motzek is a business coach specializing in helping midlife, ambitious professionals transition into coaching careers. With her podcast "She Coaches, Coaches" and years of experience, she helps individuals overcome mental barriers and achieve their goals.

🔗 Useful Resources Mentioned:

Free Momentum Journaling PDF: candysfree-gift.com
She Coaches, Coaches Podcast
Instagram: @CandyMotzak

Connect with Mande: 

Learn more about private coaching: https://learntothrivewithadhd.com/services/

Free Resources: https://learntothrivewithadhd.com/freeresources/ 

Website: https://www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/ 

LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/learntothrivewithadhd 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/learntothrivewithadhd/ 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/learntothrivewithadhd/

💡 Remember: Coaching isn't about fixing something broken – it's about expanding your potential and creating the life you truly want.

#Coaching #PersonalDevelopment #ADHD #MindsetCoaching #SelfImprovement

Click here for full show notes.

CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together! 

Transcript

All right. Welcome back, guys. Today I have with you the first coach I hired. Her name is Candy. Say, I might say your last name wrong, So can you go ahead and introduce yourself? Yeah, it's Candy Motzek. Yeah. And. And yes, I think I found you through your podcast. How long have you had your podcast? gosh, it's been a long time.

Now I'm on episode 228, so. Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe how fast it grows and how fast they accumulate the episodes. So yeah. And so I actually was on your podcast, gosh, ten years time ago maybe. Yeah. And what did I let you introduce yourself? Tell people what you do. I don't know. I don't know if you'll let me introduce myself.

Sure. Happy to do so. So my name is Candy Motzek and I'm a coach for coaches. I am a business coach for coaches primarily. And I help people who are, you know, like midlife, smart, ambitious, had success in their life and know they want something different. And that's something different as to become a coach. And so I help them start their business and sign clients and do all that good stuff.

And all along the way we deal with the mind set issues that inevitably come up as we grow. Yeah, and I found you, like I said, through your podcast, she coaches coaches. Is it so called that? Yeah, it is, yeah. Okay. Sometimes people rebrand, sign and now. But I had come out of certification from the Life coach school and they gave us business advice.

They gave us, you know, instruction on, on kind of how to set things up. But it all just kind of followed a little bit unclear. And so that is why I chose to hire you. And it was so funny when we would meet, I think I think you we signed up for three months. I believe it was like a 12 week thing.

And it was so funny. Like it was soon as I would think we need to go a little faster. Like, what's next? Next? And I start thinking that and it was like you were reading my mind and you were like, And now we need to do this. And I'm like, you're right. You had just such a good set up of like, step one, Step two, Step three.

And like, helped me, like, do the simple things like get my calendar set up, do And there was there was a question that you asked me that was so helpful that it has stuck with me and I can't remember.

Yeah. You had asked me a question, though, about you said, what are you really good at? And I said, I can always figure things out. And because you prompted that question, that always came back to me.

Because when you know, this is a podcast for and YouTube video for ADHD professionals and entrepreneurs and we're always running into sticking points, right? Like we are we're running our businesses or working our jobs. And it's, it's like the next hard thing, the next hard thing. And when you ask that question and I reflected on that, it helped it for that to always come back again when things got hard for me to go, you always figure things out and now it's just so valuable.

But I thought what would be an interesting conversation for people would be the value of coaching. There's there's a reason I invested in in Candy's help, and it helped me get where I was going faster. And that's what, you know, I do with my clients, with my clients. What I'm doing is I'm helping them, you know, build up their executive function skills with habits, routines and structures.

And then along with that, the mind management, which is, you know, your thoughts create your feelings which make you take or not take certain actions, which gets you the results that you got in your life. And I put those two things together. And so I thought it would just be a fun conversation, coach to coach that people can kind of listen in on about the value of coaching.

Have you have you hired coaches yourself? yeah, 100%. And usually I have more than one at a time. I just have to say that this the way you've blended the executive function skills with the thought work I think is just genius. You know what we're what I know so far is that so many people are diagnosed late in life with either ADHD or ADHD.

And it is amazing the number of people who are successful doing great in life and then they find out that, gosh, this is one of the reasons that I struggled in a certain area of my life. So bringing those two things together, I just think is it's so important for these times. You know, we're really starting to learn ways of helping people move forward and just create something.

So I don't mean to just really derail you, but it's just a really important, really important thing that people can find really good, solid help and help. There isn't therapy. Not saying that therapy isn't important, but like it does not always something wrong with us. Like we can be really fine and we want more. And I think that that's the piece that you really help your folks with.

So value of coaching. So I have at least one coach. Usually I have more than one because each person has their sort of skill set. I've got my business coach and truthfully, most of the time he sits there on the other side of Zoom and he looks at me and then I'll say something and his face will go and then I'll know.

It's like, Mindset problem, right? And it caught me in my in my inner critic voice. And then I've had life coaches and leadership coaches and just all kinds, all kinds of coaches. I think coaching is amazing. It's so needed and it's been so helpful for me and my. GROSS Yeah, I find I've actually had several clients that are therapists, and I really consider the difference between therapy and coaching.

And I think the difference is therapy for the most part, although they are giving you tools, oftentimes it's talking out your feelings, right? Where coaching is taking action. I feel like that's the difference. And then like figuring out what the underlying things are that are getting in the way of the results that you want. And so it's almost like a little bit of therapy.

But yeah, that's and that's what I've gotten comments from just regular clients to where they are. They're like, I've gotten so much further with this than years of therapy and that's not to like put down therapy. Like maybe they just didn't find the right therapist for them. But that's just been, you know, comments that have been made and and therapy has its value for sure.

yeah, Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Ask away. I was going to ask you a question, but not yet. Well, I was going to talk about self coaching. I have my process. I'm actually going to be coming out with an ADHD self coaching masterclass that's going to be free to everyone. And where that was born was I am going to go back to group.

I had group open group coaching, I had opened group coaching and I just didn't like the way it was set up and I wanted to go back to the old way. I did it the very first time I opened group coaching and but it was all very manual. It was it was like just emailing everyone individually and but it was very cohesive.

It was a great group of people. Everybody felt like really supported by each other. And so I want to go back to that model. But and then also I'm going to every month going to teach on a new topic and I was like, how if people are coming in at different times, how do I teach them how to coach themselves, which I think is the most important part?

And so that I'm going to put together this ADHD self coaching masterclass. So that's just like a gift and a start and that everybody like has to have that in order to even get in the group. And but I want to hear about your process of self coaching. I wonder if it's different than mine. Well, I think that we all start with kind of the basics, right?

And then what happens is we adjust it a little bit. Like I have multiple processes just sort of depending on what's going on with me. As you can see over my left shoulder, I kind of journal a lot like all of those are my completed journals. I'm sure that your bookshelves look very, very similar and my microphone is sitting on a stack of journals as well.

And you know, like it's just self coaching and journaling for me. Really go well together. So do you want me to share my quick little way that I suggest people journal or do you want to just talk more generally about journaling and self coaching and, and what we do with that? I'd love to have something actionable. So yeah.

Well, what is your, your method? Yeah. So I've got a quick little ten minute how to journal approach. And the way that I use this is we've always got something more that we want, right? We've got a goal that we're going towards or maybe we're trying to reduce something, reduce consumption in some area, but it's a, it's a something different that we always want.

And I like this ten minute approach because so many people go, Listen, I'm so busy in my life, I can't sit down for 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes and spend all this time journaling. So I thought, well, what's more important, the amount of time that you spend or the fact that you create a practice that really works for you.

And so that's why 10 minutes, I figure just about all of us can find 10 minutes and the day to sit and do this. I love to recommend that people do it earlier in the day. Our brain is a little bit cleaner earlier in the day, and to set a place where like this is my place where I sit and I write, maybe it's your kitchen table with a cup of tea for me.

I sit in my she should with my cup of coffee and do my morning journaling. And that ritual really helps me to sort of start the process. Then I literally set a timer on my phone for 10 minutes, and here's what I suggest you do is start with a brain dump, empty all the thoughts out of your head.

No, I love to kind of focus us on that place that I'm looking for. So if you're an entrepreneur and you have a goal that you're focused on right now, let's do it around that particular goal, you know? So if you're a coach and you wanted to sign five clients, six more months, that's your goal. So what's your thought download?

What's your brain done about that goal? Start by getting your head cleared out. It's amazing. All right. You know this. I know this. When we start to do these thought downloads and you do them one day to day, three day weeks at a time, you really get on to yourself. You're like, Jared, that same old thought keeps showing up.

Just that is enough to change how you view the world. What what do you think? Have you found that to? Well, what I notice, especially as a person with ADHD, with kids, it's I have the same process of the brain dump. And what I notice is it just really slowed down my thoughts because one of the problems with ADHD is our thoughts are very fast and there's lots of them happening at once.

And so dumping out all those thoughts onto paper one, it feels like and this is going to I'm going to say this literally, but it's not literal, but it feels like you take them out and not all of them go back in. And that's that's nice because then that's freeing. You're a little bit more clear and it slows down the thinking.

So if you're having like impulsive problems or you emotional regulation issues or whatever that thought that's creating the, you know, impulsivity or whatever might be, you're catching it because now everything's slowed down and that's just on the go. It's it's not even in the journaling process necessarily. You will catch thoughts there, of course, but because this process helps you slow things down, you start to catch the problems or one thing I noticed is I'll catch thoughts like I've described this on the podcast before.

So I hate to be repetitive, but one problem I used to have would be like doing the dishes. I hated doing the dishes. I would wait to do them. I would wait days to do them. They would just be a huge pile all over the counter tops. I know some people with ADHD can definitely relate, but it was because of that thought.

I hate doing the dishes and because I was able to catch that thought because things were slowed down, I could go, okay, logically, how long does it really take to do the dishes if you just do them every day? And I found out it takes like 6 minutes and to load up the dishwasher. And so that solves that problem and that was never a problem again.

And we can do that with lots of things. And you were talking about goals earlier. And one thing I like to say is goals are problems to be solved. That's all they are. I love that. Yeah, I love that. And also a puzzle, a puzzle to be solved because you know what? Puzzle has a solution, right? Yeah. There was something that you said about how it allows your brain to slow down a little bit, especially given that you've got lots of thoughts and lots of things going on.

So one of the things that I really noticed and you know, so yeah, we're only in the first 2 minutes of this ten minute journaling process, but even if you only did these 2 minutes and you did them every day or every other day for a couple of weeks, you're going to get improvement. So the first is, yes, it slows your thoughts down.

I am an old school. Use the pen and paper journal. I believe there's a really great connection when you have your hand connected with your mind and you're slowing your thoughts down in that way. It also allows you to see those thoughts. So the spillover is when you hear that thought again, when you're going about your day, you're going to be like, I know that thought.

I just wrote that thought for the 10th time today. And for me, the one that I have this thought that always shows up, especially when I'm starting on a new goal, or if I'm at that place in a goal where I'm like, I'm not really going where I want it to go. And it's this thought, I don't know.

And the minute that I write, I don't know, followed by whatever happens after it, I'm like, that thought. That's just a habit. Thought. That is a thought that my brain throws up and says, Look, you don't know. That means you can just stop right there. That's what I tell wants to give me the easy, the easy way out.

But now I know that my brain has that thought. It doesn't mean anything. Is just those words going together, right? It's just it's worked in the past. It's like, Candy, you're getting frustrated. And if I say I don't know, you don't have to do it anymore. Right. And so once you start to hear your couple of thoughts that really come to you so easily like that, once you're on to your game, you're never off of that again.

It's just like, there it is. It's showing up again. So hey, just having that, I don't know, thought I even have shorthand for it. I'd say in my mind to load because I've written it so often. Right. So just that. So yeah, we're talking about a ten minute journaling process, but if you're feeling resistant about journaling, just take the 2 minutes and do the 2 minutes every other day for a while and see how it goes for you.

Prove it to yourself that it's helpful, right? Yeah. I love your, I don't know, thought because I tell my clients I don't know is not allowed in coaching. So if they want to, if I ask them a question and they want to respond with I don't know, I'm like, I'm sorry, that's not allowed in coaching. And they are so funny.

Do you have like a synonym journal? You know, like instead of I don't know, you could say, let me consider writing or something like that. I've never thought, would I? Not with the question I like. I teach them to ask themselves. And that I ask them is what if you did know, you know, like and what that does is it really just kind of helps you kind of sit back and consider and go, okay, what might be the options here?

And but you're right, I don't know. It's like a full stop. It's like I, I don't know. So therefore there is nothing I can do. It's very disempowering. Exactly. And I love that. You know what? If you did know and then after a couple of times, my clients will get resistant to that question, too, because they're going to say, Candy, I know, I know you're going to say, what if you did know?

Right? And so Well, we know what you we know what doesn't work. So let's start creating more of that list That doesn't work. And then you're narrowing down the things to that. You do know. Like there's always a creative way of approaching it. I love that. So yeah, and I was I thought of another approach to it as you were speaking.

And I think I think I lost it. Maybe it'll come back, but yeah. So is there more to your process? There's the brain dump. There's. There's noticing the thoughts. What else? Yeah. So noticing the thoughts, it's just having a time and a day to do it so that it becomes a habit that's really helpful for me. Then look at it.

Remember, we're focused on one particular goal, so what's going well right now? What are the wins that you've had? What kind of evidence do you have that you see that it's starting? And so for me, when I'm working with either a goal for myself or helping a client work towards a goal, I never want to be the person solving it for them.

I want them to get really resourceful and learn how to do it themselves. So when they go to themselves and say, Hey, what's going well here? I better find some evidence about it. They're teaching themselves that resourcefulness. You have that resourcefulness quite naturally, but lots of people need to build it. So I love about 2 minutes on what went well because we're so we have that negative cognitive bias that it's easy to find what's not going well.

You start to train yourself to look for the things that are going well. You know, yesterday when I was finished at the gym, I walked out to my car and I found a loonie. Right? So it's like I found money living on the street. It was the best thing ever. You know, like appealing for all these little things.

Right. That went well. And you start to change that habit of always looking at the downside, always looking at the problem. And I think that's part of the looking at it like a puzzle instead of a problem. Right. Puzzle has a solution, a puzzle. We have the jigsaw puzzle. You have the cover of the box. So you know that there's something that you can do.

There's an approach you can take. So 2 minutes on what's going well, what are the wins, what are the successes? And then I follow that with one minute, only one minute on what's what's not happening here for you, what's not going well, Right. Like we keep that really small because we're trying to change that balance. We're trying to get away from the it's not working.

I might as well just give up. I don't know what I'm doing. So that's the three places to start after that. I love to spend a little bit of time asking them what did they learn? And sometimes the learning is about how they approach the goal. Sometimes they're learning about something that they tried that they say didn't work, but once they start to reflect on it, they find that maybe there is something in there that actually is going well.

So what are they learning from themselves? What are they learning from the, you know, the world around them? Where where are they seeing an easier path? Where are they seeing a roadblock? What can they learn about themselves as they create this goal? So I like to spend quite a bit of time there because you'd be surprised. I did training a couple of years ago with Tara moore and her playing big program.

And what she suggests when you're doing this is to always keep the pen moving on the paper. So while you're doing this journaling, even if you've written something three times already, keep your pen moving because your brain expects an answer when you're doing that and when you keep the pen moving, even if you think you've run out of all the things that you've learned, your brain is still going to go looking for it and then you're going to drop down into that next level of the things that you've learned, the lessons that you've learned.

I remember I learned this from this other thing that I was trying to do. Maybe I can bring it into this situation, too. So it's just that keeping your pen moving is really helpful. Yeah. Do you want me to just finish off the last two little things that I share now? Yeah. Okay. So the next one is answer the question.

What would I do if I just couldn't fail? Like, how would I think. What would I be thinking right now if I knew I couldn't fail? How would I feel? What would I be doing if I knew failure was absolutely impossible? How would I feel about this goal? How would I feel about myself? So imagine that place of trust and faith that you can accomplish this.

And then I wrap it up with one thing. So I give it a minute, but in fact, I'd rather it take like 5 seconds. You've learned a lot from this process. The final thing is what one action will you do differently now? So I've learned lots. I've done a debrief, I've emptied my brain so it's a little bit calmer and a little bit more collected.

I've learned what I've learned. What's my one change that I'm going to make today? Keep doing those little one changes. That's that 1% improvement approach, right? You going to do that change tomorrow? You start with that journaling process again. Over a few days, you're going to start to make some significant progress. So that's my momentum journaling approach that I like.

I love it. I love that it's that it's an actionable type thing there at the end. It's funny because when I work with my clients, I have an email open where I'm taking notes of our session. Sometimes it's it's like a flow of consciousness, really. Sometimes it'll be things that they say, questions I have for them, things that, you know, important things that we talked about.

And it's just kind of it kind of looks like a, like a mess, but it's a flow of our conversation. But at the bottom, there's action items. And as we're going through, I'm and you know, I'm going through and we're working on their goal. We're solving their problem right? And from that, we're pulling out things to go on the action item list.

And there's going to be like 3 to 5 of them. And that really, really helps for them to like make momentum, like you said, just from session to session. And so that's interesting that it's kind of similar to your your journaling process. Yeah, I like that. And I do something similar with my clients. Although I'm not as organized, I don't do it in an email.

I like to write by hand, and so I'll be taking notes during the conversation as well, and especially when I can see there's a real thought that's not helping them or there's a real emotion that has really bubbling up and I'm circling the thoughts and the emotions. Then when they come to that place of like, okay, this is what I'm going to try, this is what I'm going to do different.

I write that down and I put a big box around it and it's just my own little version of shorthand. And it's great because as I'm sure you do the next section, I just have to go back. What are the thoughts that I saw? What are the emotions that I saw? What did they commit to? And then how are they learning about themselves, how they are with that commitment, committing to themselves?

Like sometimes that's the hardest thing, right? We promise ourselves something and then to turn around and actually do it. wow, We got a lot of learning there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think that's why most of my clients work with me is they love that accountability of I said, I'm going to do this thing and next week Mande's going to ask me about it or next session if they're, you know, meeting twice a week, Mande's going to ask me about it.

And it's not in a way of like, Did you get that thing done? It's like, okay, and what about this item? And they are going to tell me yes or no, and we're going to figure out why that didn't happen if it didn't. And we're going to celebrate that it did. If if it did. And then they recommit.

If it didn't happen and, you know, we find out what's going on there and sometimes it's, you know, a thought getting in the way, an underlying belief that stop in them. Sometimes it's just they forgot and so they just need that re reminding. And so it's just nice to have that other person on the other end. And so I feel like I'm oftentimes used as like an accountability buddy, which, which is great.

yeah, I think that's wonderful. It makes me think too, that sometimes. Do they ever find that they agreed to do that thing? But they did it like almost out of I should do that, like almost because they felt obliged that it was the right thing to do. And do they ever come to the point where they realize, I've been saying that for three weeks, but honestly, it's just not going to happen.

I don't want to. That has happened occasionally, but surprisingly, that doesn't happen very often because they're very they're very specific, very actionable things that and I work. I think what happens is I set a foundation of we're not doing things because you think or other people think you should or you think it's the right thing to do, but you really don't want to do it.

I like that. I'm not interested in in working in that realm because my y yeah, we're all and we're all individuals and we're going to do things differently. And, and that's what I love about the one on one coaching is it is very individualized. And so sometimes people will say, Well, what's your program? And I don't have a program because I don't know my program for you until I know you.

And, and, you know, in the consultation, I, I figure out like what they're struggling with and what their goals are and, and that and that's what we base everything on, of course. But the program as you like. So you're the curriculum. No exactly. You do like it. I just feel like everybody you know, although we are so similar as humans, everybody is so individual.

I'm not going to take you through some sort of step by step type thing that's going to help your ADHD. Not everyone's ADHD is the same. Some people have, you know, good organization, some people have poor organizations, some people have good emotional regulation, some people have poor or somewhere in the middle. Like there's all the executive function skills are just look different for everyone.

It and then do you think that but there's sorry I'm just kind of thinking at the same time as even though the program is them it's they're the individual. What they want is the thing that's driving them and how you can support them. But there's obviously topics it's like, you know, there's probably a list of 20 things that you could slot in at any time.

But what's the point in teaching item C in the A to Z list if they know C like, like we don't need C you already got. So we'll go, we'll do D instead. It's fine, right? Yeah. So it's like you want the menu, right? Yeah. And what we're doing is we're like building them a toolbox and it's their own toolbox and it's, you know, it's got individual tools in there.

And I always tell clients, I'm like, and sometimes we need to just take one and throw it out because everyone with ADHD knows sometimes something only works for two weeks and then that thing doesn't work anymore. And you have to because our brains want novelty, we have to switch to something different. But what about metaphor? I love that metaphor of the toolbox.

Yeah, it's really. Yeah, that's really cool. Nice. I think. I think we all do that. ADHD or not, we're all building our own little tool boxes to get through life, right? That make life better. So. But yeah, what do you feel ADHD entrepreneurs and professionals should know that we haven't covered about coaching. The coaching will always help, but you don't have to feel like you've got a problem to get the benefit of coaching.

You. There is always something that can improve in our lives and sometimes we get to that funny little ceiling where it's like everything's pretty good, but there's never perfect. There's always expansion and growth and, you know, more possibility that's available to you. So that coaching. So for me, coaching is always useful because we've got brains, we have thoughts, we have emotions, we have relationships, our relationship with ourselves, our employees, our partners.

And those only get better with coaching, right? So to always come for more coaching and to be curious about who you are and how you can grow and how you can be even, you know, sort of more aligned with who you are on this planet to be like, We all have our gifts and we all have our, you know, our our purpose for being here and the people that we can help.

How do we do that even more? And for me, that's the thing. Coaching helps us do that. Yeah. And so funny that you mentioned people we help because I that's what I find with my clients is they have a desire to add value to the world. Everyone, everyone has a desire to add value to the world. And what they're frustrated about when they're coming to me is that they're not getting that done.

And so I've had several clients get out their podcast or start their YouTube channel or start writing their book or, you know, just things where it's going to really help someone. And that I just think that brings happiness to everyone, just adding value to the world. But there was another thing that I thought of as you were speaking.

well, before I hired, like I said, Candy was the first coach I hired, but before that I was in a program, Hard self coaching scholars, and we would get to at first it was just 20 minute coaching sessions once a week. And my people that I was in coaching certification with, they're like, There's nothing they did. They wouldn't do it.

They said, There's nothing you can get done in 20 minutes. And I'm like, You guys, you can get so much done in 20 minutes. And I got such a value out of those 20 minute weekly sessions. And what makes me sit here in front of, you know, ADHD people today is I started improving my ADHD symptoms through these 20 minute sessions because I would bring my problems that were often ADHD related.

And we were working through those problems. But all that to be said, you need, you know, if anybody's considering entering into a coaching relationship, you need to just decide that you're going to get what you need out of that relationship every single time, every single session. And if you make that decision, you will find the evidence that you got that.

I don't think I have ever walked away from a coaching session and been like, Well, that was a waste of time. No, me neither. Yeah, and I used to be in scholars as well, and I loved those 20 minute sessions. They were great. I remember one time I was having some problems with one of my kids and he was really having a big challenge in life.

And in less than 20 minutes, the change that I came away with was amazing. Like, really, the coach reminded me that my only real job in this was to love him and to allow him to be and to allow him to be on his path and to grow. And, you know, and so I think that didn't even take 20 minutes.

And it transformed my relationship with him. Yeah. And still to this day, still to this day, I remind myself that, you know, no matter what relationship, I'm like, my only job here, to love them, to accept them, to be here for them. You know, one thought changed everything in a 20 minute session. Exactly right. That moment, it makes me think of one of my experiences that was kind of life changing in the 20 minute sessions.

There were so many, but this big one was I came to this session and when you come to these these they don't have this anymore? I don't think so. I think scores of coaching scholars is closed. But but when you would come to their sessions, you would just get whatever coach you got. And I don't even think you knew ahead of time who you were showing up with at that time.

I don't remember. But She was like a grandmotherly age coach. And I tell her my big problem, like, I just was so upset about this big problem and she stopped me and she's like, I don't even care about that. Like, and she goes, What's really going on is you need to learn to love yourself. And I started volume.

Wow. And it was because it was true and I didn't even at that moment know what that truly meant. I had to kind of go on a journey to figure that out. And I'm honestly still figuring it out. I might be figuring out my whole life, I don't know. But I made so much progress just because of that one little session and have been able to to take what I've learned about self-love and give it to my clients all from just a 20 minute session.

And I'm only harping on these little 20 minute sessions because I just want people to understand that you can get so much value. I had another client who she was struggling to show up for her sessions, and I think it was like there was I don't know what the block was exactly. I remember at the time what the block was about her getting to the sessions.

But what I finally told her was, I said, Your only job is to show up. And she's like, Just show up. And I'm like, Yes, just show up. And once she started doing that, she's like, she started making all this progress and she's like, I did this just by showing up. And I'm like, Exactly. So I think sometimes people, if they're in a coaching relationship, there's there's sometimes because, you know, you schedule these sessions ahead of time and sometimes people are like, I just really don't feel like I have any problems today.

Maybe, maybe I shouldn't even be coaching. But like I tell them, just show up and I do the same thing. Like sometimes I'm like, not sure what I'm getting coached on today, but I show up anyway. And it's so interesting. Sometimes two or three things will come up and that I can make progress on. And sounds pretty amazing, isn't it?

Like it is, Yeah, it's quite, quite the sort of quite the secret weapon to have in your back pocket to get coached like I love to be coached weekly and I coach my clients weekly, but just that show up for yourself for a small bit of time every single week. How often do you put yourself at the top of your priority list?

Right? Yeah. I mean, make it if you call it like if you think of your coach, maybe you coach for an hour sometimes I do. Sometimes it's a shorter time. But one hour out of 168 hours in a week, you just put yourself first for only that one and just see what happens. You know, see how how life can get so much better.

And then the ripple effect of your relationships and your business and everything. Everything makes difference. Absolutely. Absolutely. The difference it makes in your relationships is amazing. I mean, my husband and I were driving back from we got to go to our Raiders football game in Las Vegas this Sunday. And so we were driving back yesterday and we were talking about something.

I don't remember what it was, but he said something and I looked at him and I said, You're coaching me. It's he goes, I've learned a lot. And it's, you know, great differences and relationships with, you know, for him and for me with our kids where, you know, like we learned about emotional regulation, we've learned. So you listen to them better.

We've learned to respect their feelings better or to even their feelings better. Like, it's just amazing that that it just touches every aspect of your life, I think is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. In case you can't wonder, we love coaching, right? But that's just why we love coaching as there's so many good things about it. Yeah, exactly.

Well, and I've talked about this before, but it's like sometimes people think that they should have to do it on their own. And you don't you don't have to do it yourself. If I hadn't hired Kandi, I wouldn't have got my business going as quickly as I got it going. I mean, I was I was doing it. I think I was doing free coaching still when I was working with you.

And then and then I might have switched to paid in in an hour time, I think is what happened. And I wouldn't have just trying to figure all those things out myself. I would have taken so much longer. And it's the same with like our emotions, like sometimes trying you need that other person on the other side. What I love about my brain is when it comes to my clients, I can remember everything, like from the even if I've been working with them for months and months, I can remember everything them.

And I also think about them, you know, outside of our coaching sessions and think about like what might help them or what we might need to discuss or what tool I can offer them. But I, I love my memory with my clients because I can say, Are you noticing that when we first met, like I just did this the other day, our very first session, you were feeling this way and then this is becoming a pattern and you know, it could be months later, but I'm holding all of that for them and showing them a perspective that they can't see because they're, you know, they're in their heads.

And so that's that's what I think a good value to coaching, for sure. Yeah. It's one of your superpowers, right? Yeah. All that space and that memory for them and to see them grow and to be able to reflect that back to them because I bet that client said I totally forgot that that used to be the way I was.

That invariably happens. And yeah, for them to get that little glimpse and the growth that they've experienced over a relatively short period of time is huge. Yeah, I don't know why we think we have to do these things by ourselves. Like why do we think that just there's lots of stuff we can do on our own for sure.

I think part of it is like they're looking at other people and thinking, Well, they're doing it on their own. But are they? But are they? Probably not. Probably not. We don't even know. Yeah. All right. So, okay, Well, this has been a great conversation and I want people to know where they can find you so you can always come and listen to me on my podcast.

It's called She Coaches, Coaches. I know we spoke about it earlier, and if you would like the little PDF of the momentum journaling exercise that we talked about earlier, you can grab it off of my website the easiest way to get it is to go to Candy's free gift dot com. It'll take you to a page. There's a bunch of free resources on there and you can just sign up for it.

Neal Download it and put it to good use. Thank you. Very good. Very good. And what's your Instagram? I know you're on Instagram. it's at Candy Motzak Very good. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you coming on today. thanks for how it was. A great conversation.