Ep 78: ADHD Time Management - The System That Finally Worked for Me

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In this deep-dive episode of our executive function series, I share my complete time management system that finally worked for my ADHD brain after years of struggling. You'll discover why traditional calendaring methods often fail us and how to build a system that actually sticks.

📌 Key Topics:

• Why I thought I was "just not a calendar person" for years
• The tools that transformed my relationship with time
• How to stop keeping everything in your head
• The surprising freedom that comes from routines
• Managing decision fatigue through better planning
• Why "I'll do it later" is the biggest lie we tell ourselves

🗣️ Featured Quote: "You cannot fit what's important to you into the cracks of time that you have. And we all want to be that person that does what they say they're going to do when they say they're going to do it."

💡 Strategy Breakdown:

• Create a sustainable capture system for ideas and tasks
• Use time blocking without feeling trapped or restricted
• Build routines that reduce daily decision fatigue
• Make your calendar work FOR your brain, not against it

🎯 Coming Up Next: Join us next week as we continue our executive function series with more practical strategies.

🔑 Key Takeaway: Time management isn't about forcing yourself into rigid systems—it's about finding the right combination of tools and mindset that work with your unique brain.

🎓 Level Up: Download my free ADHD Time Management Action Sheet at learntothrivewithadhd.com/time

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#executivefunctions #adhd #timemanagement #productivity #adhdsupport #adhdstrategies #adhdcommunity #googlecalendar #timeblocking

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Transcript

All right. As promised, I am delivering my personal time management system and I like to do this every few years because it changes and evolves over time. Some of the changes come from working with clients. Some of the changes come from finding new tools or finding different ways to use tools and finding out what's working, what's not working.

So I'm going to take you through all the tools that I use. But first of all, I just want to tell you, for years I thought I was just somebody that could not follow a calendar, somebody that could not manage their time. And I would try and I would fail and I'd try and I'd fail. And I just started to think, it's just not me.

I'm just not a person that can handle this. So you might feel that way, too. But fast forward to today. I use my calendar every single day and it has changed everything. And so what happens if we don't learn to manage our time like, have you ever made a massive to do list? And you've really taken a lot of time on it.

And by the end of the day, you were busy all day, but you don't know what you really got done because things aren't really checked off on the list. So list making may or may not work for you. If it's working for you, keep doing it. If it's not always working for you, stay tuned. And plus, there might just be some things that you can do along with it that really ensure that those things on the list get done.

So then there was the stress of not managing my time, right? Being late. Forgetting things. Constantly being behind that does not feel good. And plus I was that friend that was always late. People were really nice about it, but

I knew I was being rude and I knew I wasn't respecting their time and it was not something that was at all intentional. It was just me not having it together enough to understand how long it takes to get ready or how long it takes to get somewhere. And for me now, being very self-motivated between the businesses that I have, where I don't really have a boss that's saying this needs to happen when I have to set my own deadlines and I know that's a challenge for many of you.

So let's talk about that. So why did I decide to get it together? One want to be a better friend. I want it to be a better family member or whoever was depending on me. But it was also I wanted to do my coaching business. I wanted to have a peaceful home environment. I wanted to do a good job running my other business when I was I was the one running the office and doing all the things I wanted to do, enjoy time with my family.

I wanted to take care of myself.

I wanted to have time for hobbies and fun and getting to the old projects that have been sitting around and new projects that I want to do. Because if your brain's anything like mine, you are coming up with new things to do constantly.

So none of these things were magically going to happen. I had to give these things time until my clients, you cannot fit what's important to you into the cracks of time that you have. And this meant learning to manage my time. And we all want to be that person that does what they say they're going to do. When they say they're going to do it.

And none of us are perfect and you're never going to be perfect. That is just how life is. You're always going to do it most of the time. But what if you were a person that got things done most of the time? How would that feel? Would that be different from where you're at now? So there are a lot of tools I'm going to offer here.

Just start somewhere, wherever you are. And I know I'm hearing that person in the comments already. sure. Just follow a calendar. sure. And I understand why they think maybe I'm oversimplifying things or why they might be upset because they've struggled for a really long time and they have tried these things and it didn't work. I was like the same exact way.

I tried all the things and they didn't work because I didn't keep using them. I didn't keep trying. I didn't get past that sticking point. And again, I can hear the comments, just try harder. That is not what I'm saying. Not at all. Yes, you have to keep trying, but it's not a matter of just trying harder.

And for me, the difference was getting coached, having that support, having that person I could keep going back to going, This isn't working. That's not working. Why? Why am I thinking this way about the thing I put on the calendar that I said I wanted to do and now I. I would rather do anything else. Why is that happening?

Getting the mind management side of it. So first of all and again, this is me, but one of the things that really helps me is Google calendar that changed a lot of things. I can set up repeat events. I don't have to keep going in and reinventing the wheel, but I also have clients that very much love their paper calendars.

They like being able to see the day in view without having to get into the computer, and that's okay. Whatever works for you. I actually have both. So I like the Google calendar because of the repeat nature of things. I like to Google Google calendar because clients can get on my calendar, I can schedule podcast interviews and things like that very easily through a tool I'll talk about in a little bit.

But I also really like it because I keep a widget on my phone, so I have access to my calendar all the time. I do not think about my calendar. Once my day is planned, my husband will ask. And finally he he got smart and just put the calendar my calendar on his phone. But he will ask, Do you have an appointment?

I mean, what are you doing the rest of the day? And I genuinely will not know. And it is just not information I store. If I am within a half hour that I don't have anything to do, I'm not even thinking about that. So a lot of peace comes with that. I know it sounds weird to a lot of people that, you know, I'm just brain dead about what's going to come next on the calendar.

But I really enjoy it because I know the important things are there and I know it just does not matter right now. And it works. I'm going to talk about a tool called Now, Not Now, but where I got that was from Dr. Hallowell talking about how our brains run in now and not now. If it's important. Right now, we're focused on it and it's not important now we get to just accidentally sometimes set it aside.

But I'm choosing to set it aside.

Okay. Something another tool I got from a client that actually lives on my desk and I'm going to get this fast. You can see it. It is from tool that is t u l if you are not on YouTube.

What I am holding up is basically a desk bound planner. And what I love about the desk bound planner is I don't know if you've ever gotten a planner where you're like, I am never going to use this part of the planner. And so I very much enjoy that. You can put things and very easily move things around, take things out what lives here, and it stays open on my desk and what lives here are my personal coaching appointments, where I'm getting coached, appointments, where I need to remind my kids about something, what podcasts are coming up next that I'm creating and also there's a section on the notes section where that is where I

put what I want to make sure I get done for the month. So I want that to kind of be in the back of my mind as I'm using the other tools that I might need to break that down and add those things in. But I love this planner. They make it in a smaller version. If you want to have it and and take it in your purse or something like that.

They also have on Amazon a lot of different types of things you can add to your planner that you can get there.

Something I also really enjoy with Google as I track the actual time. I do this with a lot of clients too. Okay, what did you plan to do and what actually happen? Because sometimes life just happens.

Sometimes things take longer than you expected or sometimes you choose to do something else instead, and you want to see if you liked your reasons for that. Now, for appointments and consultations that are coming to me, I use acuity scheduling and that will I have it sync with my Google calendar. So that will automatically go. And what I do with acuity is I tell it when I am available.

I actually prefer just so that people have a lot of opportunity for consultations or for when their appointments are with me for coaching, I like to actually put things on my calendar and if it's not super important that it happened that day or that it happened at exactly that time, I will mark myself free just so I have a lot of availability on the calendar.

So that's what I show is available on the calendar. I'm not necessarily now where I had to pull back with that is I wasn't at one point in my life having a lot of white space on the calendar, so I would leave my calendar open for consultations, let's say, and it would get filled up and it would make me push and push and push things that actually needed to be done.

So now I am careful to make sure those things are not getting pushed and also make sure that there's a lot of white space on the calendar. Now, that is a paid tool that I use. I believe it's called Squarespace Acuity scheduling or something. Now, I think Squarespace took it over, but a free version is currently. So if you're scheduling appointments with people, a lot, say even your friends, you can do the free version.

And that way we don't have to do the text back and forth. Well, what day are you off? What day can you go to lunch? You know, that kind of stuff. You can really stop doing the back and forth with that. I was actually talking to the lady that does my nails and I was telling her about these tools and she's been doing this for a long time.

And so she's used to having her her book next to her, her scheduling book. But. Right. What I noticed is she does a lot of back and forth texting to the point that she had to like, limit how much she texted or certain times of day to get back to texting. Otherwise, she would just be on her phone all the time.

And I suggested these kind of tools to her. But I didn't get a lot into it. But the pushback was, well, then I won't be in control of when they get on my calendar. But you are you get to set limits in only certain times that people can get on your calendar. You're very much in control of that.

So if you have a job like that or if you have anything resetting a lot of appointments, those are some too cool. Those are some tools that work really well. I know I have a client that's a professor and somehow she shares her Google calendar directly where they can get on that. It's perhaps through the school system, but my understanding is she's directly sharing her Google Google calendar.

So if you know how to do that comment below, I would love to know about that just for my client's sake. I'm happy with the way my system works, but I would definitely want to help clients with that if that's something that they would like to do.

So for things that are in progress or delegated, I like to use Trello.

The person I use that with most is my assistant. She's doing a lot of processes and inside Trello, every time we put out an episode, there's several things that need to be done. So now not now, Let's talk about that. I used to keep everything in my head and every time I'm talking to somebody that's feeling like really overwhelmed and stressed, they're always keeping things in their head.

And that is one of the first things we do is I call it offloading. Now, here's how I personally offload, and it might sound like a lot, but it actually really works. But I noticed when I was like going, and yeah, I do this and I do that and I do that, I do notes on my phone.

And so I have one place that might be for video ideas or something like that, Post-its and notebooks for quick ideas. I can't tell you how many times I am running to my office and writing something down that I heard in a podcast or an idea that I had or something I want to create. And so I will just write it on a Post-it sometimes.

It's just a great question. I hear that I would like to start asking my clients for voice notes. Are things on the go? I use order I or I will text it to myself. Sometimes I'll text myself a voice. Note Some people don't know that you can do that. Another thing I love to do now, because it keeps record of the conversation for the most part, it's a tool that's like still getting better, still learning sometimes with the voice note feature with open AI or chatbots is the one specifically I use.

It will have an error and not keep your conversation. So I don't know if it puts it in the memory. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, depending on how how you're using it. But that is a new feature that I really like using as far as getting ideas out and getting them fleshed out at the same time. And all of these need to go somewhere else.

They need to be these Post-its, these things in notebooks. They are these voice notes and all that need to go somewhere else. And some of that, if it's a project right now, I have just a page in my tool planner where upcoming projects are coming up. So there is, you know, some businesses that I'm interested in investing in in the future, which are just kind of ideas.

Right now there is setting up some important things for our family that need to be set up that we keep talking about doing. There's silly things in here like reducing the amount of makeup I have. Like you wouldn't even think of that. But that's a project I need to work on because I'm always looking for ways to and not that I'm a minimalist in any kind of way, but I'm always looking for ways to reduce.

But I won't bore you with going through. But what I'm saying is sometimes it's big projects, sometimes it's small projects, sometimes it's important things, sometimes it's silly things. It doesn't matter. I'm getting it all out and on to something else. Now, this has worked for me for a while and I am happy with it as long as it's not.

Right now. It's a page and a half of let's call them projects and I really want to get that all onto a Trello board probably is what I will use just because it's a tool I really enjoy. But if not a Trello board. I was just talking to a client a few weeks ago or maybe last week about the thought was, well, what system do I use?

And you might be thinking that right now too. she's giving me all these systems and I'm not sure which one to use. It doesn't matter. Just start somewhere. Just make a decision to start using something because you won't know you don't like it until you use it. Right. And what happens if you're wrong? What I would say is don't put a lot of time into this.

If you are, you know, capturing information, don't sit for hours and capture, you know, grab together all your Post-its and and do that. Just give it five, 10 minutes and do it. Give it five, 10 minutes the next day. If I have 10 minutes the next day. That way you're not investing a whole lot of time out once into a system that you may or may not like.

And also, I wouldn't say you make the decision on whether you like it or not right off the bat, everything's going to be uncomfortable at first. It doesn't matter what you use, it's going to feel weird if it's not something that you've been using. And also if you have other ideas as far as capturing. I would love to hear about those.

But no matter where you capture it, all needs to be gathered somewhere. So for now, what I was telling you about, about that one sheet with the projects, that would be my not now list. And that means it's not important right now. I've done videos on this. If you're new here, maybe you didn't see those. But I actually developed that system from a client that would write down everything that didn't matter in the next couple of days or that week and turn it over so that she couldn't see it, and that would help her not be stressed about it.

So what happens with mine is currently it's it's on paper right in my tool notebook. But on top of that is a to do list which actually since I can remove things from my tool list see made to do list currently is very small. And what this is is just to save on paper. I don't throw out this to do list every day or two days.

I just continue on using the same piece of paper until I fill it up. It's got two sides and I actually love I don't know if you can see that, but it has a little box on the bottom and sometimes I'll just use that for notes or things like I kind of want to keep in mind and then I can just pull that out, throw it away when everything is done on it, or sometimes moved back on to the project sheet because I thought it was a big deal and I was wrong and really kind of weird.

Hack That may be just kind of unique to me as I notice when I would use a black sharpie to mark things out as I got them done, it kind of looked like everything else. I was using black ink. It wasn't, you know, really it wasn't really like in my brain separating out that this is finished. And so I found that this I think it's bronze or gold metallic Sharpie was the one for me as far as when I mark it out, it differentiates between what's still there and what's not there.

So just a little quirk of mine, but wherever you're going to offload, just make sure that that is searchable. That's very, very important.

And no matter where you decide to capture it, it all gets gathered in a week or two for me. I will decide I have too many Post-its and they need to go somewhere. And what's great about that is sometimes I've captured something that I'm like, This isn't even a good idea.

I don't like it. And so I have a little trash can on my desk that I can just crumple up that poster, throw it away. It's very satisfying to be able to do that. Or it could be something that I've already taken care of.

Okay, so we are talking about time blocking. A lot of people have a problem with time blocking, and I notice my clients that have the biggest I don't think they have a problem with it is really the right way to put it, but they really don't want to time block.

They're not interested in doing time blocking, but I notice those are the ones that have the most time flexibility. So if you're at a point in your life where you just have your whole day to figure out what you're going to do that day, maybe time blocking is not the way to go. Maybe you just keep your list.

Maybe you keep a general, a general little just daily thing of, you know,

So for a lot of people, time blocking sounds like a terrible idea. I notice with my clients that are resistant to doing it at first, once they start really going and moving forward in a lot of their projects, they find that they need to do it.

I notice the ones that would rather just stay to a list and leave it at that are the ones that have the most time flexibility. I'm working with sometimes retired clients that have lost the structure of work and now are trying to regain structure and move forward on projects that they're stuck on. So it might depend on where you're at in life, but I personally was afraid that time blocking would feel restrictive and at first it did.

It felt pretty restrictive at first, and it was because I was making it restrictive. So I want to teach you what you can do here instead so that it doesn't feel restrictive.

one of those things would be you can change your schedule. You're the boss. I love. I love telling, telling people about like you are the boss of your time.

If you move something on your schedule, like your reasons for doing that, and I would say also plan your And that's where I enjoy Google because it's this is just really easy to do on there but plan what you plan to do and then plan what actually happened. I think we might have talked about that early in the video.

So if I'm repeating that, I apologize. But that is something that adds to the flexibility of the time blocking. Not only does it add to the flexibility, it helps to tell the truth about what you're doing. And that sounds kind of harsh. I don't mean it in that way. It's just, you know, what do you say you're going to do and then what do you actually do?

And what a lot of my clients find is, well, my week didn't go the way I wanted it to go, even though I had made these plans. But I went out to lunch with a friend for my birthday, or I personally had an example where I talked to a friend on the phone for, you know, 2 hours of my day.

And so I actually walked for 3 hours that day, which was great, but kind of crazy. But I love to take, you know, phone calls while I'm on walks. And so I chose to do that. And I loved my reasons for doing that. I'm trying to think there was another example at the top of my head that has left me.

But you want to also be keeping whitespace in your calendar. What do you mean by that? Those spaces in your calendar where nothing is planned because stuff is going to come up and if you don't have white space now, you're going to feel boxed in. Also, if you don't have white space, you're going to look at that calendar and you're going to feel stressed.

Now, the other way that people get upset with themselves and with time blocking in general is they come up to do something and they would rather do anything else.

The one thing that really bothers people about time blocking is the way they talk to themselves.

And what that means is they come up to something they plan to do and they don't want to do it, and they beat themselves up over that instead of just getting curious about why they don't want to do it. Now, I want to talk about some reasons that that might happen now. One, we've already said you have white space in your calendar, right?

So you're not feeling so full that you're stressed. But what are other reasons you might be avoiding it? Sometimes it's things like, do I need more information? Is it too big? It needs to be broke down more. Sometimes we need help with that and don't feel bad about needing help with breaking projects down. That's where a lot of my clients feel like it's silly that they have to have things broken down and it's like, No, I do too.

And I go to my coaches and they help me break them down or I go to a friend or a family member or my spouse and we break things down and that's it needs to be done. There's nothing wrong with you for needing to break things down. Everybody does it. I just think the neurotypical people kind of do it without thinking.

They just see the next logical step, whereas we don't or we don't break it down far enough that it's easy enough to do so if you're not going to beat yourself up, if you are going to break it down, if you are able to get the info that you need to get started on this, is there something else that maybe you're afraid of?

An example I can think of off the top of my head is maybe you're afraid that if you start this project, it's going to open up this whole can of worms in this other area. I can think of several things that I procrastinated on in 2024 that it was because I was afraid of what the momentum would be on that.

Would I get too busy? Would I not want to do that thing after all, Would it mean something worse if I got started on this? So just having the main management piece and that's where my coaches that I get coached from and that's the work that I've brought to ADHD coaching is sometimes you have to get to the mind management piece.

It's not as simple as making a list and getting it done. Sometimes there's a lot more to it. So having somebody to support you in that is super helpful and that maybe a therapist. I know a lot of my clients come back to me and a lot of the conversations they're having with their therapist are very similar to conversations that we're having.

And I am not a therapist, I am not a doctor. It's just a coincidence that but really, it's the facts. It's it's the truth of what's happening in their life. And that's why it's coming up with the therapists. That's why it's coming up in our appointments, because these are the facts of what needs to happen in order to start moving on this thing.

Another tool that if you've been around for very long, you have heard me talk about it a lot, and that's the time timer. It helps for so much if you just Google visual timer, read the reviews because I have a retired. By retired, I mean thrown in the trash can, a lot of visual timers. So make sure it's a quality visual timer.

Also, a lot of them, I think all of them really run on batteries. And you know, when your batteries get low, they start to not work as well. So watch for that. Maybe just run a little five minute or ten minute test on them every once in a while. But I set a timer before I started this video because I have a client here pretty soon and I want to be able to just relax here and not feel rushed and not feel like I'm going to be late for that appointment.

And so timers are very important. Also, timers on my phone, I will hear often I don't take my timer seriously or I'll ignore the timer or a lot. Is it doesn't work for me. What I would say is going on there as unless you just genuinely don't even hear it. Try again with the timers and take it very seriously.

I used to ignore timers too because it would go off and I would say it doesn't really matter. I don't really need to do that right now. I can do it later, which is the biggest lie we can tell ourselves is I can do it later. So when I set a timer, it is serious. If I have a client meeting, for example, that timer is set for 2 minutes before the meeting and that gives me time to get settled in my chair and get going on the projects, you know, at hand, which would be pull up their notes, get their email ready for me to shoot out to them after the call with like their

action items and everything that we talked about and be settled and ready. I found that 2 minutes is, is enough time to do that and also not enough time to ignore the timer. So that might work in other areas of your life. What is that? What is a not I know I heard I'm saying it. What is the amount of time where there is no time to ignore it?

So sometimes we give too many, too much time to two tasks and we shouldn't do that.

I interviewed a guy that said routine is a vegetable and I thought that was so good. I think I talked about it in the other time management video that I did for the executive function series. Routine is a vegetable. I like most vegetables, almost all of them.

But for the most part, people don't want vegetables, they just need them. They need the vitamins and minerals. But they they don't really want it. And I know when I used to do my consultation calls early on, I would say, look, this is going to sound terrible, but what we're going to do is we're going to build up habits and structures and routines to help build up your executive function skills.

And we're going to bring over the mind a management piece that is this is going to sound like a great idea making these changes. And then after a day, a week, two weeks, we fall off that completely. So I have one client that I'm super proud of that her morning routine has just she locked it in early and what was she was struggling with was getting out of bed, getting started for the day.

But that morning routine got I said, where can you put it so that you won't forget? Because we think we will remember these obvious things to do, but we won't. And so she decided she could put it in the bathroom and was already like ready for her kids to kind of teaser about mom, this this has to be put up in the bathroom.

You don't just remember to do this, but we don't remember to do it. And even the ones that I put on my Google calendar, I have to continually look at them and what's next and what's next. And I'm sure maybe someday I might not have to do that. I'll just know what comes next. But if you don't, it's been years for me.

But I will say as soon as I got those routines put on my calendar, it was so much easier to follow my calendar. So if you don't have a morning routine, you don't have an evening routine. If you don't have a general work routine or at least the minimums get done in a day, then I would highly consider it because whatever you can put on repeat means less planning.

Whatever you can put on repeat means less thinking. And that's what I found. I thought I would hate routine and what I found instead was I was so much more relaxed and I wasn't feeling stressed and overwhelmed. And the most important things were getting done within the routine. So a lot less decision fatigue, decision fatigue. It's a real thing.

It is where you get tired from making too many decisions and our brain just says no more, no more. And that's where we get frozen or we can't make any more decisions. And that could happen depending on what your life looks like. That could happen by 10:00 in the morning where you've already had to make so many decisions.

But routines in my time management have helped me 100%. That is where I finally went from not getting it to absolutely getting it. And that was something I actually figured out myself by listening to a psychologist say, You can't be mentally healthy without routines and looking at my life and going, Man, I don't really have any. I mean, there's of course, the odd ones are on autopilot where you're not even thinking about them.

But I think with most of us with ADHD, even the ones that should be on autopilot aren't. I gave the example to a client the other day where I think we talked about this in the attention and focus. I'm not sure maybe in the time management, but where, you know, we get in the shower and we're just constantly making a decision on what to do next.

And I had no routine created. And so every day, first thing in the morning, I'm deciding what shampoo to use. I'm deciding this, I'm deciding that. And sometimes it's as simple as that. So routine might not sound good, but it is so, so good for us. So making time for daily or weekly planning? I like to plan the week for the most part.

I used to just plan the next couple days. What goes on my to do list is what matters in the next couple of days, because if I'm okay, let me take that back. Here's what I'm doing. I'm in real time realizing the difference between the weekly and the daily planning. What I'm doing with the daily planning is looking at my to do list and going what needs to be given a time on the calendar.

What I'm doing with the weekly planning is going are all my clients schedules. Is there time for these big projects that are coming up? That's what I'm doing for the weekly planning. So making time to do that for most of my people, they really like the five or 10 minutes daily to review their priorities and see what they want to get done done.

Okay, So those are a lot and I'm afraid I'm going to get off this and go, yeah, and I do this, so I'm going to put together a cheat sheet. We'll call it let's call it an action sheet, and it's going to be your free HD action sheet for this time management.

And I'm going to go over every tool I talked about and some of the concepts that I talk about in this video too. So don't feel like you have to take notes, Don't feel like you have to do everything on the sheet. This is my time management system. This is the one that works for me. And I don't I don't go to my clients and say, this is the one I do get asked often, How do you manage your time?

Just like I asked them and I will explain it to them. But to get that sheet is learn to thrive with ADHD dot com backslash time and that will have all these little, like I said, concepts and ideas and tools on it. But that's my system for now. As of February 2025, it is ever evolving. I'm always learning something new.

It's very different than if you go back to the one I did two or three years ago. But that might might work more for you. I don't know. But I just wanted to get this out there. I've been wanting to do this video for a long time and I hope it helps if you're on YouTube comment in the comments like, What did you get out of this?

Or What are you trying differently? That might be helpful. I know there's a lot of apps out there that help you manage your time, especially for people with ADHD that are very different. I'm not thinking of the names off the top of my head, but there's one that puts your day into wedges of time, and because it's wedges of time, it's less stressful or that kind of thing.

So there's always new tools coming in. There's always the tools that work are the one you are going to use. So stick with what works. But if nothing's working, start using something. You need to manage your day in some sort of way in order to accomplish the big things that I know you want to accomplish. I know what I always felt like as I was leaving so much potential on the table by not managing my time.

And it was so true. And that could be true for you, too. All right. I will see you guys next week. Thanks.