# 246 | How Old Do You Feel? The One Question That Saved My 41-Year Marriage

Have you ever noticed how your partner can turn you into a defensive teenager faster than anyone else on the planet?

Hi everybody, this is Todd Creager. Picture this: You're a successful adult who handles boardroom meetings, manages a household, and navigates life's challenges with confidence. But then your spouse gives you some feedback, and suddenly you're feeling like a scared 6-year-old who's about to get in trouble.

If that sounds familiar, this episode will change everything for you.

As I approach my 42nd wedding anniversary this August, I'm sharing one of the most powerful discoveries I've made in four decades of marriage—a simple question that has saved my relationship more times than I can count.

Today's confession: Last month, I scratched our car backing out of the garage. My first reaction? Pure panic. Not because of the damage, but because I was terrified to tell my wife. In that moment, I wasn't a 67-year-old marriage therapist—I was a scared little boy who didn't want to get "in trouble."

Sound ridiculous? Maybe. But it's also completely normal.

In this deeply personal episode, you'll discover:

🎯 The one question that instantly shifts you from defensive and reactive to calm and connected (I reveal the exact moment this saved my marriage 30 years ago)

🎯 Why intimate relationships trigger us like nothing else can—and the surprising reason your partner activates your "younger parts" more than your boss, friends, or even family

🎯 The step-by-step process I teach clients to catch themselves before they say something they'll regret (this works even in the heat of the moment)

🎯 How to repair when you've already acted from that wounded younger place—and why these repairs can actually strengthen your relationship

🎯 The relationship dance we all do and how to stop being victims of patterns you're unconsciously co-creating together

Here's what makes this different: I'm not giving you theory from a textbook. These are confessions from someone who's been married for 41 years and has worked with thousands of couples. I'll share my most embarrassing moments—like feeling panicked about disappointing my wife or getting defensive when she points out something I forgot.

If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who could benefit and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more couples who are ready to transform their lives.

Check out my complete program "From Bickering & Escalating to Connecting & Loving" for more in-depth guidance: https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/loving-connecting-masterclass

Todd Creager, LCSW, LMFT

Todd is a sex expert and therapist in Huntington Beach. He provides relationship coaching to couples throughout the world and in Orange County including Irvine, Newport Beach, Corona del Mar, Laguna Beach, Seal Beach and Long Beach. (714) 848-2288.

You can find more tips and resources from Todd Creager at: https://toddcreager.com

HELPFUL LINKS:

• Get your FREE copy of Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/heal-infidelity
• Secrets to a Sexy Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/sexy-marriage-secrets
• 7 Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/optin-DPYM
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