# 250 | What Boundaries Are Needed After Discovering Infidelity?

After you discover infidelity, everything changes. The sacred boundary around your couple has been ruptured by secrets, and now you need to rebuild it from the ground up. But what does that actually look like day-to-day?

In this episode, I walk you through the specific boundaries that are needed post-discovery so that healing can happen and your relationship can thrive again. And I need to be clear about something right up front: if you're the one who betrayed, you don't get to keep your "privacy rights" anymore. Not now. Maybe later when your partner's nervous system calms down, but right now? Total transparency is the price of rebuilding trust.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• What boundaries really are and why infidelity violates them so deeply 

• How secrets rupture the sacred boundary around your couple 

• Why the betrayer has to go way beyond normal to prove they're safe 

• The right way to end an affair relationship (hint: your partner needs to witness it) 

• When changing jobs is necessary for healing 

• Social media boundaries that actually work after betrayal 

• Why complete access to phones, computers, and bank accounts is non-negotiable 

• How to tell real threats from anxiety-driven fears 

• The difference between being controlled and helping someone feel safe

I share a story about a teacher who gave up his job of 25 years at a school where he was highly respected because that's where his affair partner worked. His wife wasn't comfortable with him staying, and he understood. That's the price you sometimes pay to resacralize—make sacred again—the boundary you have with your partner.

This isn't about being micromanaged or controlled. It's about helping the person who was betrayed feel safe again. That's what this is all about.

If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who could benefit and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more couples who are ready to transform their lives.

Check out my complete program "From Bickering & Escalating to Connecting & Loving" for more in-depth guidance: https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/loving-connecting-masterclass

Todd Creager, LCSW, LMFT

Todd is a sex expert and therapist in Huntington Beach. He provides relationship coaching to couples throughout the world and in Orange County including Irvine, Newport Beach, Corona del Mar, Laguna Beach, Seal Beach and Long Beach. (714) 848-2288.

You can find more tips and resources from Todd Creager at: https://toddcreager.com

HELPFUL LINKS:

• Get your FREE copy of Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/heal-infidelity
• Secrets to a Sexy Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/sexy-marriage-secrets
• 7 Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/optin-DPYM
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