Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity
Todd Creager is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and relationship coach with over 30 years of experience helping couples build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
In this podcast, Todd talks openly about love, sex, and infidelity with married and long-term couples who want real answers. Drawing from decades in practice, he shares practical advice, relatable stories, and honest guidance to help you work through challenges and create the relationship you actually want.
Whether you're dealing with communication breakdowns, intimacy issues, trust after infidelity, or just want to reconnect with your partner, Todd's warm, no-nonsense approach gives you tools you can use right away.
Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity
#277 | Why Trying Harder Is Making Your Marriage Worse
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What if the thing you've been doing to fix your relationship is actually what's keeping it stuck?
Most couples hit a wall. You've read the books, planned the date nights, promised to listen better — and somehow you're still in the same spot. More exhausted, more frustrated, and further apart than before. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.
In this solo episode, Todd Creager — licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 30 years working with couples — explains why trying harder rarely works, and what's actually happening beneath the surface when your best efforts fall flat.
Todd introduces a way of thinking that goes deeper than most couples therapy advice: the idea that we're made up of different parts — and that the real reason relationships stall isn't lack of effort. It's that one part of you is trying to fix things while another part — a wounded, scared, or quietly resentful part — isn't on board. No amount of willpower gets through to that part.
He walks through a real couple he's currently working with: a woman who never felt seen as a child and erupts when her husband gets defensive, and a husband who grew up with an aggressive father and shuts down the moment conflict starts. Neither is the villain. Both are being driven by protective parts that took shape long before they ever met.
What they're learning — and what Todd wants you to take away — is the difference between a protective relationship and a self-led relationship. A self-led relationship doesn't come from trying harder. It comes from getting curious about the parts of you that keep showing up in the same painful patterns, and learning to lead from a place of clarity, compassion, and genuine connection.
This episode won't hand you a quick fix. It will give you a different way of seeing yourself, your partner, and the cycle you keep getting stuck in — and that shift is where real change in a relationship actually begins.
If you're in a long-term relationship and feel like you've tried everything, start here.
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Check out my complete program "From Bickering & Escalating to Connecting & Loving" for more in-depth guidance: https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/loving-connecting-masterclass
Todd Creager, LCSW, LMFT
Todd is a sex expert and therapist in Huntington Beach. He provides relationship coaching to couples throughout the world and in Orange County including Irvine, Newport Beach, Corona del Mar, Laguna Beach, Seal Beach and Long Beach. (714) 848-2288.
You can find more tips and resources from Todd Creager at: https://toddcreager.com
HELPFUL LINKS:
- Get your FREE copy of Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/heal-infidelity
- Secrets to a Sexy Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/sexy-marriage-secrets
- 7 Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/optin-DPYM
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