Let's Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity

#282 | Why I Combine EMDR and IFS to Help You Heal from Trauma Faster

• Todd Creager • Episode 282

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What happens when trauma therapy stalls, even when you're doing everything right? In this solo episode, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Todd Creager pulls back the curtain on how he works with clients, and why pairing two respected approaches, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and IFS (Internal Family Systems), helps people heal faster than either one alone.

Todd starts with the basics of IFS, the idea that we're all made up of different parts. Some of those parts are wounded, carrying old pain from feeling unsafe, inadequate, unlovable, or abandoned as a child. Other parts are protective, working overtime to make sure we never feel that pain again. He shares a relatable example of how someone who was abandoned might keep choosing partners who feel emotionally safe but not very stimulating, because a protective part refuses to risk abandonment again.

Then he explains where EMDR fits in. EMDR helps the brain reprocess a stuck traumatic memory so the past can stay in the past instead of hijacking your reactions in the present. It works beautifully on its own, Todd says, until it doesn't. Sometimes clients go blank, dissociate, or hit a wall. That's not failure. That's a protective part saying the system isn't ready yet.

This is where the combination matters. Todd describes how IFS builds the relationship first, helping you meet the protective part, understand what it's guarding, and earn its trust, so EMDR can then release what the wounded part, or exile, has been carrying. He walks through a real-world scenario from his practice with infidelity recovery, where a betrayed partner can't move past the discovery of the affair because a part of them believes letting go would mean letting their partner off the hook or treating themselves like the betrayal didn't matter.

You'll hear how befriending that protective part, rather than fighting it, opens the door to processing the deeper wound, whether it's the betrayal itself or earlier abandonment it stirred up. As Todd puts it, one approach builds the relationship, the other releases the burden, and together they can help parts that have carried the same wound for decades finally put it down.

If you've tried therapy and felt stuck, or you're working through trust after infidelity and wondering why the pain won't loosen its grip, this episode gives you a clear, compassionate picture of what healing can actually look like.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who's carrying something heavy, and follow the show for more honest conversations about love, healing, and relationships. This is Todd Creager, making the world safe for love.

If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who could benefit and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more couples who are ready to transform their lives.

Check out my complete program "From Bickering & Escalating to Connecting & Loving" for more in-depth guidance: https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/loving-connecting-masterclass

Todd Creager, LCSW, LMFT

Todd is a sex expert and therapist in Huntington Beach.  He provides relationship coaching to couples throughout the world and in Orange County including Irvine, Newport Beach, Corona del Mar, Laguna Beach, Seal Beach and Long Beach.  (714) 848-2288.

You can find more tips and resources from Todd Creager at:  https://toddcreager.com  


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