We threw out all our rules - Our first full-swap swinger experience

Ever wondered what happens when swingers take their first big leap? In this episode, we dive into our unforgettable night at an Alice-in-Wonderland-themed swinger party hosted on a sprawling ranch, complete with a private theater, hot tub, and intimate encounters. Join us as we share the highs, the awkward moments, and the valuable lessons we learned about boundaries, trust, and safer sex practices in the lifestyle.

💥 Highlights:

• [0:30] The invite: How we got into an exclusive swinger group
• [4:20] Entering wonderland: The Alice-themed party details
• [10:15] The theater experience: A full-swap first
• [14:45] Lessons in trust and safer practices in swinging
• [20:00] Reflection: What we’d do differently & key takeaways

This episode is perfect for anyone curious about the lifestyle or looking to understand the importance of boundaries and open communication in intimate experiences.

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Top Hashtags: #SwingerExperience #LifestyleLessons #FullSwapFirst #SwingerParty #RelationshipBoundaries

Transcript

0:37

Welcome to Swinger University. I'm Ed. And I'm Phoebe. And this episode's a little different. We're gonna go way back. A little way back machine. And talk about our first full swap. It's got all kinds of juicy details and some things that you weren't proud of, but you know, stuff happens. Yeah, some lessons learned. Lessons for sure. For sure. And some things that we've figured out since then that we'll let you in on. And the dirty secret will come out.[music] We were part of a Facebook group called, do we want to name the Facebook group? It's defunct now. It's all gone. It was the fun ones. It was called the fun ones. Who doesn't want to be part of the fun ones? It sounded like a lot of fun. It was a private Swinger Facebook group. And we got invited because we had been on a meet and greet boat day. Right. We started talking with a bunch of people. They said, oh, blah, blah, blah. Here's this Facebook group. And we said, how do we get in the group? Right. So we got an invitation. Yeah. One of the people who was on the boat was having a birthday party coming up. And this was going to be her birthday party. And she was like, I want everybody to be there. It's going to be super exciting. It's an Alice in Wonderland theme, which was super cool. We were going to come in costume. I had bunny ears and I was the rabbit, the white rabbit. And it was interesting because it was not just a house party. This was a sleepover. Yeah. It was way out in the boonies. Yes. Way out in the boonies. Way out. Can we say way out again? Way out. And it was on a ranch. It was a very nice ranch with a very, it was an estate, basically. Yeah. There were places for people to sleep in bedrooms or you just brought your sleeping bag and a mattress and you slept on the floor or. Or you had a camper and there were a number of people who had trucks, campers and parked those on the property. There were a lot of people there and a lot of people slept over. Yeah, they did. A couple of people just slept in the bed of their truck because it's, it was summer. Then the temperature was nice. Yeah. It was great. Yeah. And one of the, this will come up later, one of the big surprises in the house besides having like the built-in aquarium and the horses and the big pool and the waterfall and all that kind of stuff. They had a theater downstairs. Oh yeah. Like a big theater. Yes. Like surprisingly large theater. Professional. Full on theater. Like you would have if you were an actor and actress and you were previewing your own movies. Yeah, but probably the biggest one I've ever seen, we've been watching these million dollar house tours on YouTube. And I think this was a bigger theater than those. It was huge. So nice. So the sleepover part of the party was, was a first for us. So the first was, we didn't, we didn't know the host. We, right. We didn't, we, we knew of them. We knew they're part of the group. We, we knew maybe one or two or three couples. Right. We had never slipped over before. It's in the middle of nowhere. So there was all these unknowns, which was really not great for my comfort level because I, yeah. Too many unknowns. And this is when we were still really nervous about a lot of stuff in the lifestyle. I don't think we were more than what, two years in the lifestyle, a year and a half in, we were late bloomers. Yes. And we'd only soft swapped up to this point. Yes, correct. So there was a lot riding on this evening or this weekend. So. And if I remember right, the conversation was if this particular couple is going to be there and we kind of knew that they were going to be there, what do you think? I mean, would they, would they be maybe the first full swap couple? Like, Should we, shouldn't we? Right. I think we had a lot of discussion leading up to that party about that particular couple and. Yes. That particular couple. And yes, they'd become the chosen ones for us. Right. We were targeting them that night. Oh yeah. Big time. Big time. Yes. So this couple that we had found through the boat day, actually our first introduction to them, they pulled up to the dock and the misses had kind of leaned over. Yeah. The front of the boat to kind of like grab the dock. She was very well endowed. Yes. Which was very inviting. So we had to get on that boat. Yeah. We absolutely got on that boat and it was great. And the mister was, was very, very handsome. Yeah. He was, he was fit. He was a good looking guy. So we walked in, we put our stuff down and there was, oh, and we brought food. Everyone brought food. So it was like a potluck. Yeah. So we had a lot of fun. Like a potluck. Yeah. So there was a ton of alcohol, a ton of mixers, a ton of food. Of course, when you go to these things, there's just a ton of everything. You can't ever drink at all or eat at all. Right. There's usually way too much food. Yeah. So once again, our contribution probably went in the trash later that night, but that's okay. Food was great. And there is music. There's lots of conversation. We didn't have a room, but we did have a spot where we could put our stuff upstairs kind of on this landing area, which was nice and open, almost like a sitting area if you wanted to make it. Right. We got a tour of the house. We already told you about the theater room. And then let's talk about outside first. Yeah. So really large outdoor patio space, multiple levels. There was a large pool with not just a fountain. Like this was like a rockscape cliff waterfall. With an infinity edge. Yeah. Yeah. Hot tub, very large hot tub, probably a 10 person hot tub. Yes. Built in with more rock structures, like something you'd see at a resort. Yeah. Yeah. It was kind of crazy. It was fabulous. You know, the multi-colored lights, shifting lights, the whole thing. Oh yeah. That's right. Yeah. There was like a little mini stage at one end of the pool. Remember there was a guy, a really attractive guy, the boyfriend. He was dancing up there. There was lights shining on him. Yeah. Yeah. It was almost like a stripper pole stage dance area. And there was plenty of seating outdoors, some couch, right along the back of the house. And people are just hanging out and having a good time. Great conversation. Like you said. And as the evening progresses, started to get a little bit darker. And so the lights came up and the tiki torches and all the fun stuff started coming out. At some point during the evening, I remember people started playing in the small living room area, right off the kitchen. Like, right. There. Right. Like on the couches and stuff. And I remember being a little shocked because it's right there. Right. Right next to the food. Right next to the food. So it was a very intimate. It was, they were very intimate acts. There was more than person, one person having intercourse or some sort of soft swap there. And I remember being a little shocked because I was like, I'm going to have to have a little bit of intercourse or some sort of soft swap there. And it felt. Uncomfortable for me to just be snacking or pouring a drink because I didn't want to distract them. So I was torn between. Sustenance and drink and watching live porn and. The honoring one and not having conversation. I didn't know what to do. It was all very awkward. I felt very, very awkward. I felt very awkward. We felt pretty awkward that night. I did. It was an awkward night. Yeah. So. So we, we kept running into this couple that we were targeting and, you know, having the conversation working on, you know, just, you know, dropping hints and trying our best to make it known that we were. We were really interested in them. Right. So we made our preferences known. And they had reciprocated and said, yeah, we're, we're, we're pretty selective. We're picky. We haven't been with very many couples. Yeah. It's, you know, we're interested too. And I think at that point we'd kind of hit up at the right time in the evening where everybody was comfortable enough. And we had the brilliant idea to go down to the theater. Yes. And have sex there. Yes. Cause I was like, who can say there had sex in a theater? Right. And I got arrested. Right. Right. So let's go do it down there. Cause the whole, I mean, the whole property was pretty much anywhere you want to go. Yeah. And have sex. Yeah. Let's go down there. It was also private. It was quiet. And there was porn playing on the theater screen. So there was plenty of sound and stimulation. If I remember, I too, there weren't there like beanbags in the front too, where I think people could hang out there anyway. Yeah. So yeah, we made our way down. Yeah. And we paired off and we picked seats right next to each other. Yes, we did. We started off with oral sex. Right. And there wasn't a lot of conversation about preferences. We did say we were soft and that's basically it. I mean, we, we didn't know. We didn't know what we didn't know. We didn't, we didn't have a lot of wishes, directions, yeses in our repertoire. So we couldn't really say, this is what I want. Right. And also wasn't really great at asking for what I wanted and, and, and being confident just saying that. Yeah. That hadn't hadn't really come out yet. Right. So that's, I do remember scrunching so far down into that, that theater seat that my neck, oh my God, the next day my neck got so tweaked because, you know, I'm like this and your neck is practically, you know, at your belly button. Yeah. Chin. These weren't reclining. No. These were, these were kind of old school theater seats. Yeah. Nice and cushy, but not the planning ones. Yeah. Not super deluxe. So I don't know how long we'd been going at it. A nice long time. It was good oral. I got to look over at you and watch you and there was a boob grab and yeah. And at some point we decided to have the conversation about trying full swap. Right. And so he said, Hey, you want to try it? And everybody said, yeah, let's, let's do it. Right. So where were our condoms? You know, that's a really good question. I'm not sure where they were. I don't know where they were because we didn't use one. No. And that was, that was really weird for us because we're big on, say for sex practices and using condoms all the time. But I think in the back of our heads, we'd kind of figured, quote, they were safe because they were selective and said they hadn't played much. Right. Which made us think, well, okay, they're, they're married. They're together. They haven't played very much with other people. So really it's just their risk level as well. Yes. That was what we were thinking. That was what they had told us. Yeah. The sex was fun. I had a good time. Got to sit down. She climbed up in my lap. She did a little, oh yeah. Girl on top. Oh yeah. Right thing in the seat of the theater chair. That was really sexy. Really sexy. Having the theater lights, the lights from the screen kind of light everybody up and all their parts. And she was a lot of fun. She was a lot of fun. I like touching her. She's so soft. She was, she was very soft and squeezy. Squeezy. Yeah. Very squeezy. So yeah, so that happened. And I think, I think also part of that was just us being awkward, right? That that transition of let's get the condom. We were in the mood. It was sexy. We felt like breaking that would, would ruin the mood and we didn't want to ruin the opportunity. And now, you know, years later, it was, it wouldn't have been a big deal. Yeah. But we did it. We did it. And we, I think the other component to this, and this is, this is important. I think this is another key takeaway from this was this was our first time. So we were super excited to do it. Yes. Like really excited to do it. Like this is a first, this is like losing your virginity. Oh gosh. Yeah. And I don't think we were thinking clearly. No, no, because I didn't ever experience all these emotions and the hormones and all that stimulation all at once. It's very overwhelming. Oh yeah. Very overwhelming. And there you have it. That, that kind of went down like that. Yes. And so we, we finished down there and then we went upstairs to continue the party. And we had discovered pretty much everyone left the house and they were all down at the hot tub. Right. Right. So we decided to join everybody else. Yeah. We got in some water. We'd rehydrated, right? Cause we have just, you know, we were, we were hot. Yep. And we ended up in the hot tub with a bunch of other couples and this couple again. And we ended up having sex again with them in the hot tub in the hot tub. Bad, really bad idea. Bad for the vagina, but it was a lot of fun. Yeah. There were blow jobs on the side of the pool. I remember there's a photo of me giving a blow job. It might be you, but I think there's a photo of me. So, and then, so yes, photos happened, which was also another rule. No, no, no photos. We were not out. So now that's out there. And I didn't know it was too late. Someone snapped a shot. I was like, Oh my gosh. Yeah. We got, we found them later on Facebook in the group. This is before Facebook was policing by the way, you can't do that anymore. You would absolutely get caught. So yeah, right. So now two, two things, two rules already broken. Right out the window. All the rules gone. We did that for a little bit, got some more food, got some more water. We've now rehydrated. We've recharged. We're ready to go again and we're still horny. So we go to the lounge chairs. Yeah. Well, we were in the, we were in the pool first for a little bit. For a little bit. Yeah. Flirting with flirting with a single female, single female, also very new. Yes. For us. And we end up on one of the lounge chairs with this lady. So it's the three of us kind of soft swapping and all this doing some fun stuff. That was great. Except if you've ever had sex on one of those folding chase lounges for the pool, you'll know that they're really wide. And I ended up with the worst rug burns on the insides of my legs from straddling that thing. It was terrible. Like, I think it was actually bleeding. It was, it was bad. It was bad, but it was fun. High five to you for not giving up. Nope. Got to stick with it. Got to get, got to pull through. So yes, I was the, the, the recipient of all that sacrifice that you made, which was a lot of fun. Right. So here we are having sex in front of people. They're, they're cheering on us on at the hot tub. Yep. And we'd never done that before either. Another first. Right. Right. We just, we'd let it all out that night. We did. We were just all in. So we're, we probably hydrated some more. We probably had some more food. I may have drank a little bit more at that point, but we, things were winding down. People were starting to kind of like peel off and find their little bed places. Yeah. So we said, okay, let's, you're sore at this point. I was really sore. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I was really sore. I'm tired. I'm knock kneading out of commission. Your legs are bleeding. My vagina's got all kinds of chlorine in it. Micro tears the whole deal. Yeah. All of that. Yeah. So you want to have sex with me. Right. Because I'm still horny. So we make our little bed up on this landing, right? And we're, we're, we're laying there and you're like reaching over, you know, uh, groping and touching and I'm so we start to have sex, I think. Yeah. And I think it was partially because we could hear someone in the next room having sex. So there's sounds of sex all over this house, like everywhere. And so I'm getting in the mood again and you're going, Oh no, if I could do this, I don't know if we could do it, but we'll, we'll try. And we've got Lou and we're doing the whole thing. And then we, we've, finally, I think we go. We sh this is a prime opportunity that the sounds kept going and going and going and we're like, Oh my gosh, here's another great opportunity. Let's, let's go for it. Like we're, we're like all in, let's, let's knock on the door. When in Rome, yes. Do the Roman orgy. Yes. So let's just, we did. We'd like, I think we're going to do a little bit of a break. So let's just, we did. We, we'd like very gently tapped on the door. Yeah. And the door opened and we noticed that they were in the shower. Yes. And this fabulous red headed man with a beard and opens it. I wish I could find him again. He was very attractive. He was a funny guy too. Charming and funny. Yeah. Hilarious. Great personality. Yes. And so, yes. So then he poof disappeared and then went into the shower. Right. And we're like, where did they go? Where'd they go? So we're like, do we follow them? I don't know. So we did. So we're now standing in the bathroom, watching them shower. Right. Soaping themselves, rubbing themselves. Which was fabulous. Super great. Who gets to watch that? They towel off. They come out of the bathroom. They jump in bed and they start going at it. Right. And right there. Right. Now I think there was three people in that room. There may, there may have been. Unless another person came, but I know there was, there was, there was two girls and a guy for sure. So they're going at it and. I think they invited us to the bed. And we were on the bed, but it was still kind of separate play, same bedroom, which is that's very traditionally what we had done. And so there was all of us on the bed. Going at it. Yes. Having a great time laughing. Just the great noises, the great visuals, like everything's going on all at once. Meanwhile, Phoebe's pussy is on fire. Right. Fire. It's like so painful now. Everything hurts. But you know how pain kind of turns to pleasure. It's painful, but it's pleasurable. So there is this weird combo of pain, pleasure, pain, pleasure. So yeah, I wanted to stop, but I wanted to keep going. And then eventually I tapped out because. Cause we were going to break something. I was broken. For sure. And I was probably not doing much better after that either. I'm pretty sure I was. Raw. I think this all the skin came off your pants. Exfoliation in the best possible method, but still really painful. Oh my God. Okay. So yes. Next morning we did get some good sleep. I think. Yeah. I think we passed out at that point and just slept. Through. We wake up in the morning, had breakfast, greeted everybody. Everybody was still really like on speaking terms. Nothing weird. I was really nervous about the morning after. Yeah. And you know, cause people are different in the morning and people, yeah, people were nice. People were cordial friendly. Yep. Everybody hugged and we helped clean up, helped clean up a little bit and had, had our coffee and. Off we went off. We went drove home, had. Probably the most intense conversation ever. Oh yeah. And it was like I said, out in the boonies. So we had a good couple hours to talk about it all the way home. Yeah. Yeah. What a night. What? What a night. It was a night and we were, we were good about not having a good conversation. Yeah. What a night. What a night. And we were, we were good about not beating ourselves up about not using condoms, but we had decided that can, can never happen again. Right. Right. And what we discovered. Years later. And this is where. It comes up. Here's the lesson. Here's the lesson. No matter what people tell you. Oh, I've been tested. Oh, I'm clean. Oh, we only play with others. Oh, we have a, we have a, a, a, a. A tribe or a quad that we only play with. We never, right. Absolutes are never. Right. So people have selective memories or in the case of this particular couple, then we're. Unaware of each other's behavior. And one of them had been stepping out of the marriage relationship and having sex on the side. And that came out. Later. Like a year or two years later. And we found out and that explained so much. And then I was pissed because now I'm thinking, oh my gosh, you know, what if I, what did we get? Yeah. So. We, I don't, I don't know if we had gone and got ourselves tested right after that, that party. It, it would, I don't remember, but it wouldn't surprise me if we did because we were pretty. Risky. I mean, very risky and we weren't prepared for that. No, no. That, that break in our rule. So. Yeah. I think we waited probably a month or two to get tested to make sure that we were outside of the window. Yeah. Right. And then we got tested. And then of course, you know, as everyone knows, well, if you don't, you really have to wait three to six months before you test again, before you're actually clear. So taking your test a week before your local adult resort trip. And it comes back clear. Doesn't really mean you're clear. Right. Right. Yeah. That. Was our first full swap. A lot of rules broken, a lot of lessons learned, but you know, it was a really epic time. Yeah. And we, I mean, we walked away with it. Just an amazing experience, a great story and memories, like, Like yesterday. Oh yeah. Still vivid memories. And wondering where some of those lovely people went. But as, as we know, people come and go pretty frequently. It's difficult to find people that stay in the lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah. And it's unfortunate that group did finally just kind of dissolve and everybody went their own way. Yeah. And Facebook kind of ruined it too. When they started looking down and looking at it and just kind of created a second group from there. It just wasn't the same. It wasn't the same. Yeah. Anything else you want to add to that sexy story? Any other lessons? No, I mean, I think the valuable lesson in that was just, you know, don't, don't go by what people say because they, they're not going to be able to go through the same process. And I think that's a really good point. Yeah. And I think that's a really good point. Yeah. And I think that's a really good point. Yeah. I think that's a really good point. I agree with cartouREAD CAT. If you're playing. What's the point by what people say? Because they. They're either forgetting or they're not being truthful or. Who knows. You just don't know, you do. You, you stick to what you're comfortable with and honestly, if they don't like it, then they're not for you. And it. I get it. It's frustrating because there you are, the perfect moment, where the opportunity was right there, but we just didn't pull the trigger. We didn't make the move. And this time- And they got away. And they got away, yeah. The mood changed or whatever. So yeah, absolutely. But you know what I was thinking, even with condoms, that still would have been an epic night. Sure, yeah. Although you probably would have been even more torn up, but that's a whole other topic.(laughing) But yeah, the condoms wouldn't have ruined the experience at all. It still would have been a first. It still would have been exciting. There's still all of that fun stuff going on. Yes. So you don't have to take that risk In order to have a good time. In order to have a good time. And the lifestyle's risky enough as it is. So take the extra precaution, take the extra five minutes. And if you know that you're going down to the theater room, bring your go bag. Cause you know what you're going to do there. So get the go bag. Yay. Can we go back to that party and use that again? I wish, I wish. Well, thanks for tuning in and listening to our way back story of our first full swap experience. Don't forget your homework. Tell a friend about our show. The more people you tell, the more people listen. And the more people we can help and pass on these great stories and life lessons and examples and help more people. We love helping people. Yes. You can also, if you've got a great story, leave us a voicemail at 916-533-804824 or contact us at SwingerUniversity.com. Keep learning, keep growing and keep it sexy.(upbeat music)