Become A Trauma Informed Coach
Are you a coach who's afraid to use the "T" word (Trauma) on your calls? Or you that trauma is a thing, that it happens, but not much more (because you’re not sure if you want to know more)? If any of this resonates (or you just want to know more about how, as coaches, we can support clients carrying trauma), this podcast is for you. Bringing our lack of understanding into the light is necessary to support ourselves—and clients—during calls. Now coach, I am NOT HERE to induce fear or paralysis in your coaching—bleh. I am here to help you 1) see what you’re potentially not seeing, 2) reaffirm 10000% that you absolutely can do something about it, and 3) reinforce the notion that we all start somewhere (it’s ok to be where you’re at right now)! There is SO MUCH you can do to support clients carrying trauma—as well as understanding the limitations we have as coaches—so that they can receive the care they are in search of. I believe that being Trauma-Informed is an Essential Standard of Care for every coach in the coaching industry. I have a vision of every coach being Trauma-Informed.
Become A Trauma Informed Coach
Betrayal here, there, and everywhere
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Lindsay Poelman returns to reintroduce the show as a brand new season and open a new series on betrayal. Drawing from her own story, a high-demand Mormon upbringing, a check-the-box life, and the turning point when her husband disclosed longstanding lies about his porn use, Lindsay names betrayal trauma out loud and explains why it lives underneath so much of the pain women carry and cannot name.
Using Jennifer Freyd's definition of betrayal trauma, Lindsay walks through the many places betrayal shows up: religion and faith transitions, family systems that silence the victim to protect the family's image, institutions and medical gaslighting (including women dismissed around perimenopause), partnership and infidelity, and the self-betrayal we learn young in order to survive. Across almost a decade of coaching, she has seen the same pattern again and again, and the same way through: rebuilding self-trust, reconnecting to the body's felt sense and intuition, and using community to dissolve shame.
She closes with the heart of her work: your body is not the problem, it is the solution. Learn more inside The Fluent Human course and certification, her live community calls, and her limited one-on-one coaching.
What you'll learn in this episode
- What betrayal trauma actually is, defined through the research of Jennifer Freyd
- Why betrayal is not only about marriage, and the shape it takes underneath religion, family, institutions, and partnership
- How medical gaslighting works, and why so many women (especially around perimenopause) were told it was all in their heads
- What self-betrayal and self-abandonment are, why they were once a survival strategy, and how to tell if the pattern is still running your life
- Why rebuilding self-trust and reconnecting to your intuition is the difference between staying stuck and moving forward
- How the body holds truth, keeps score, and can sense when something is off, even when everything looks fine on the outside
- Why community and being witnessed dissolve shame faster than trying to heal alone
Key concept: What is betrayal trauma?
Betrayal trauma, as defined by Jennifer Freyd, is the deep emotional and psychological injury that happens when a person you trust, love, or depend on for safety and survival breaks that trust in a major way. Lindsay expands it into a working definition for everyday life: betrayal is being told to trust something that was not safe. Once you see it that way, you start to notice how many places you were told exactly that.
Chapters and timestamps
- 00:00 Welcome back, season reset
- 00:28 Why betrayal, again
- 01:11 My background: the checklist life
- 02:16 The first betrayal story
- 03:51 Coaching patterns and hope
- 04:54 Self-trust and The Fluent Human
- 06:43 What betrayal trauma is (Jennifer Freyd)
- 08:22 Betrayal in religion
- 09:50 Betrayal in family
- 10:55 Institutions and medical gaslighting
- 12:04 Partnership betrayal
- 13:05 Boundaries and relationships
- 15:27 Self-betrayal and self-abandonment
- 18:20 Body wisdom and intuition
- 19:03 Work with me: options
- 21:15 Final encouragement and next episodes
Lindsay’s current program offerings:
- Feeling the pull towards a new career? Ready to layer these tools into your already existing one? Become a Certified Trauma-Informed Coach through The Fluent Human Method™... the certification that teaches you to hold the whole human: nervous system, neuroscience, body, intuition, and soul. Join now to be a part of our upcoming LIVE cohort!
- Not here to get certified, here to learn about yourself? The Fluent Human Course™ walks you through all 8 pillars at your own pace, with live debrief calls every fall and spring. Get the course.
- New to all of this? Start free. 10 Things to Know About Trauma is ten short videos that will change the way you see yourself... and everyone around you. Send it to me.
- Want a certification above + PRIVATE MENTORSHIP from yours truly? I have limited spaced available. Apply here.
Check out her website here: Website.
Find me on Instagram : @lindsaypoelmancoaching
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Meet Lindsay:
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