Raising Resilient Kids in an Overprotective World

In this episode of Clear & On Purpose, we're unpacking a big question: are we really keeping our kids safe, or are we unknowingly keeping them small?

As parents, we’re bombarded with fear-driven messages about the dangers of the world—and it’s easy to fall into the trap of overprotection. But at what cost?

We’ll explore:

• How our own anxiety and nervous systems shape the way we parent
• Why bubble-wrapping our kids can stunt their confidence and growth
• The importance of giving kids space to fall, fail, and figure it out
• What real “safety” looks like in a modern, purpose-driven family
• The parenting mindset shift that creates emotionally strong, capable kids

This episode is part reflection, part reset—a loving call-in for all of us raising kids in a chaotic world.

Let’s stop shrinking our kids’ lives out of fear and start expanding their confidence through intentional, empowered parenting.

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Resources & Links

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• Email us at hello@christinaslaback.com
• www.christinaslaback.com

Transcript

Christina: [00:00:00] If we really wanna keep our kids safe, we'll stop overprotecting them and start offering them gradual freedom, step by step and age appropriate milestones. That's how they build independence, confidence and resilience. That's how they learn to thrive. 

Welcome to Clear and On Purpose, the podcast design to help you cut through the noise and get back to what matters most. If you're feeling stuck, but needs to take intentional action, you are in the right place. I'm Christina Slayback, homeschooling mom of two and life and business coach, helping you drop in and align with your values and create more space.

Each week I'll be sharing practical insights and simple. Actionable steps to help you find clarity, boost your energy, and design a life that balances ambition with mates. Let's dive in and get clear on [00:01:00] purpose.

 We live in one of the safest times in history. According to the Duke University's child wellbeing index, kids are more safe now than they were in the 1970s, and yet we continue to bubble wrap our children. We're constantly feeding our own anxieties through the news, social media, and a culture of fear mongering.

Then we are convincing ourselves that it's too scary out there to let our children have freedom, take risks, or play independently, and as a result, we're not allowing them to gradually become more independent. They aren't learning how to problem solve or navigate minor adversity or even build confidence in their own abilities.

We're so focused on protecting them from any potential negative outcomes. We forget growth doesn't happen without struggle, [00:02:00] and I hear all the time from employers that the new generation, they don't have soft skills. They're lacking in communication and problem solving, and some of 'em are still relying on their parents to call them into work or to help with setting up appointments, and we wonder why they haven't developed these skills.

The answer is because we haven't let them practice. They have the ability, but they haven't been allowed to struggle on their own and learn to overcome challenges because we can't manage our own fears, anxieties, or discomfort. We're unintentionally passing those burdens on to our kids. If we don't face our own insecurities, our own need for control, they end up carrying that.

We say that we want our children to thrive, but we're teaching them that the world is dangerous and people can't be trusted. We're keeping them so close and controlled that they're [00:03:00] missing out on learning how to connect with others, make friends, and navigate real life interactions. We are the ones orchestrating their play dates, setting up their activities, and then not allowing them to find those organically.

If we truly want to clear the path for our children, we need to stop trying to clear every external obstacle. Instead, we must learn and regulate our own emotions. That's what gives them the freedom to live. We got to this place with the best of intentions. As parents, we are more aware than ever how things can go wrong and we care deeply.

But that hyper-awareness can backfire. 

We don't want them climb because they might fall, but is it really them? We're trying to protect on the outside. Of course, we want to protect our kids, but by protecting them, we're really also protecting [00:04:00] ourselves. We don't want to see them get hurt, be upset or struggle. That triggers our own emotions, that triggers our own anxieties, our own fears, and we aren't equipped and we aren't willing to deal with that.

And yet in shielding them from any pain, we deny them the chance to gain resilience. Confidence is built through doing hard things and realizing that you can survive discomfort. We say that we want our kids to soar, but that soaring requires some risk. It requires knowing what to do when things don't go as planned.

It comes from problem solving in the moment, from adapting, from being flexible, and how can we raise competent, capable adults if we don't let them make any choices or face any challenges. Being an adult means navigating [00:05:00] risk and moving forward in the face of fear and discomfort. If they've never had the P had practice doing that.

When the stakes are low, when the relative risk is very minor, when we're there to be a safety net, how will they ever manage it when the stakes are high, when they're on their own and become adults? We take them from doing everything for them as children to then at 18, suddenly they're supposed to be on their own with never having those intermittent steps in between.

If we really wanna keep our kids safe, we'll stop overprotecting them and start offering them gradual freedom, step by step and age appropriate milestones. That's how they build independence, confidence and resilience. That's how they learn to thrive. It can be hard to look at your [00:06:00] child and be able to give and know when it's appropriate to give those next steps, but by working on it incrementally and allowing them to make their own choices in safe spots, I know when my kids were little, let them.

Try to navigate their own bodies and be able to learn how to get themselves up onto things and down, down off of things because I wanted them to be able to feel that uncertainty and be able to get that and gain that trust in their own bodies and be able to trust their own instincts. Rememberstanding in the driveway and watching my 4-year-old at the time, climbing higher and higher into the tree.

And it was starting to make my heart race, but he was comf confident and he was comfortable and he felt safe. And when he came down, you could just see that confidence blooming, that ability to know that he can trust himself. [00:07:00] And by me managing my own fears and my own concerns and just checking in with him to make sure that he was good, I allowed him to face.

And to be able to continue to gain that trust by allowing them to incrementally just grow in all of these little things that we can do.

We give them that space and that ability to be able to get that confidence in themselves by helping them to extend beyond their comfort zones. By being able to find directions to themselves by being able to meet up with other kids, by being able to go to a local playground on their own and being able to navigate that.

All of these things that we as adults did all the time and took for granted. Our kids aren't having those same opportunities. While I do remember as a child being uncertain or being unsure of, what I was supposed to do because I was, I was stuck somewhere [00:08:00] there, somewhere without a phone, without any way of contacting anyone.

Learning how to navigate that and learning how to find and advocate for myself and to get assistance when I needed it, those skills I took into my adulthood, we need to let them be in those spaces. Of having to figure that out of learning how to advocate of learning how to communicate with other people, whether that's other kids, and especially with other adults as well.

I want my kids to grow up thinking that the world is a safe place, because on a whole it is. There are always going to be dangers. There are always gonna be things to fear, but I would rather that they go into it with confidence and assurance that most of the world is good. They're able to take risks to do things, to really live their lives in a way that they desire.

Not going into it fearing everything and being afraid to take any risk, afraid to take any [00:09:00] misstep because they've never been able to learn that they are capable of misstepping, and then changing direction and going a different way. I believe that that is truly how we build for resilience, and that that is a service that we can give to our kids, and by us managing our own fears, by taking a look at what we are putting out there rather than what they, our children are actually afraid of, we can better show up for them and we can take that first step on learning how to manage our own emotions so they.

Then grow up learning how to manage theirs and they're not taking on our fear and anxiety and what a gift for us to be able to give to them to be that cycle breaker.

 I know that it's, it's scary to be able to. Give that space and that openness to our kids to give that freedom to our kids. [00:10:00] And honestly, a lot of people do question that right now. And being able to be in a position where we can hold the line of what is truly good for our kids versus what we think that we should do because of what society's expectations are right now, or being judged for our parenting.

If we can let go of those fears as well and really just keep the focus on the outcomes that we want and what we're striving for in that bigger picture, then we can be more confident on our own choices and we can show up for our kids and be the people that they need as well be that safety and that security, and then they can have the freedom to fly.

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend. Please let me know what comes up for you as you're navigating this, and as always, I look forward toseeing you next [00:11:00] time.

Thank you for tuning in to clear and on purpose. If you're ready to take intentional steps toward a more fulfilling life and wanna customize the approach, I'd love to work with you. Visit www.christinaslayback.com to schedule a free consultation or explore current offers designed to help you gain clarity.

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