Parenting by Design: How Understanding Your Child’s Energy Changes Everything w/ Angie Grandt

When kids push back, argue, or seem “too much,” it’s easy for parents to slip into power struggles. But what if those challenging moments are actually clues about who your child is meant to be?

In this powerful conversation, Christina welcomes Angie Grant, a Generational Healing Specialist and Human Design coach, back to Clear & On Purpose. Together they explore how understanding your child’s unique energetic blueprint can completely transform the way you parent, connect, and communicate.

You’ll learn:

• How Human Design helps you see beneath behaviors to your child’s natural strengths and needs.
• Why traditional parenting advice can unintentionally suppress your child’s authentic energy.
• How to reframe “stubbornness” and “defiance” as signs of independence, drive, and leadership.
• The four Mistaken Motivations behind behavior—and how to respond with connection instead of control.
• Practical examples of shifting from “How do I make them listen?” to “How can I help them feel safe and empowered?”

Angie shares her journey from behavior management to energetic understanding, blending Human Design, mindset coaching, and emotional awareness to help parents raise confident, self-aware kids. Christina offers her own reflections as a mom, emphasizing how perspective, compassion, and self-regulation change the dynamic in every relationship.

If you’ve ever wondered why strategies and scripts don’t always work—or you’re craving more peace, confidence, and connection in your home—this episode will give you a fresh lens and tangible tools to parent with purpose.

🎧 Listen now to discover:
How to stop reacting to the surface behavior and start guiding your child’s true design.

Angie Grandt - www.angiegrandt.com
Check out her free resources HERE! 

Resources Mentioned:

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• Sign up for the Momentum Challenge: Click here to get started.

Resources & Links

• Follow Christina @christinaslaback
• Email us at hello@christinaslaback.com
• www.christinaslaback.com

Transcript

Angie Grandt Interview

Speaker 2: [00:00:00] to parents, it feels like, oh my gosh, I just need this child to listen to me. But when we see that energy for what it is, as you said, and we can really tap into that, it's such a beautiful gift. I think that when parents don't know that about their kids, they don't know how to let that shine and then they keep squashing it, which creates a child who doesn't feel safe or okay to be who they are.

It creates a child who questions their value because they feel this energy and they feel this need to like get it out and the parents don't know how to handle it. 

Speaker 3: Welcome to Clear and On Purpose, the podcast design to help you cut through the noise and get back to what matters most. If you're feeling stuck, but needs to take intentional action, you are in the right place. I'm Christina Slayback, homeschooling mom of two, and life and business coach. Helping you drop in and align with your values three or space Each week I'll be sharing practical insights [00:01:00] and simple actionable steps to help you find clarity, boost your energy, and design a life that balances ambition with.

Let's dive in and get clear on purpose.

Speaker: Well, good morning. I am excited today. I have Angie Grant with me and she is a coach. She does human design, she works with parents on understanding their children's behavior and really being able to connect with them. Um, and Angie, you've been on the podcast before and I'm so excited to have you back.

I feel like every time that we get a chance to chat, it just helps. Kind of shift my perspective. It kind of opens up, um, different ways of seeing things and the way that you state things sometimes will even bring concepts that I know and just help them to resonate a little bit more. So I am so excited to have you here.

Thank you for coming on the podcast today. And I think that I would just love to just dive in because we get [00:02:00] chatting and then I feel like we could talk forever. So, angie, why don't you share a little bit more about what you do again for people that might not be familiar with your work, and a little bit about why you think that that's so important.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Thanks again for having me back. I, yeah, I always love chatting with you so much. So I'm Angie Grant, and I'm a generational healing specialist. When I first started doing the work that I'm doing, I started as a parent coach, certified as a mindset coach, and I was really focused on helping parents to see, um, see the power that they have in how they feel in their relationships with their kids, right?

Because as parents. We like try this strategy and try that strategy and we'll like try it for a little bit and it doesn't work. And then we throw in the towel and then behaviors get worse and it becomes this kind of endless cycle. And so when I became a a mindset coach, I was like, this is [00:03:00] it. This is how we can start shifting things with our kids.

But it, it was good and I saw progress with my clients, but it was still missing something. And you know what? One thing leads to the next thing leads to the next thing. And I was introduced to human design. And I first, uh, was introduced to it by my business coach, but she really wanted to share it with us as a personal tool to see ourselves, to get out of our own way.

And I quickly realized as I started going through her certification process, how very important it is not only for us to maintain our own energy so that we are in a good space with our kids. But when we can see our kids through the lens of human design and really see their energetic needs, it. Is a wildly different way to show up for our kids and respond to our kids.

So that, that's where I'm at today, [00:04:00] is that I just feel so passionate and driven to help parents see their kids through the lens of human design. I feel like when we don't, when we don't have that tool we're missing a huge part of our kids, right? Like, we see our kids genetically, they're like us unless they're adopted.

We see like, oh, you're acting like your dad, or you're acting like your mom, or, oh my gosh, you sound just like your grandma. But they're not right. Like our kids are genetically they're like us, but there's so much more underneath the surface. And when we don't see that, then we parent based on kind of the tip of the iceberg and we're missing energetically what's underneath.

And the result then is kids who are getting feedback constantly about their surface. But not about who they really are underneath. So that's where I'm at today, is really helping parents to understand that there's so much more to our kids. They have so much incredible potential, but uh, their bodies kind of get in the way and our own heads as [00:05:00] parents get in the way.

So 

Speaker: yeah, that's me. I think that this really, so we had connected because we're local and you do human design too, and I was just really excited to be able to geek out about that. But I like that. I think when I started to delve into it, like it helped me to understand myself better. But like you're saying, there was so much more to it to be able to see how I interact in relationships, but also to change.

My expectations and behavior. I just feel like it gets a different framework for being able to see other people as them outside of our preconceptions about what they are or our projections about what they are, and give them more of that their own autonomy and who they are. And I think that that's something that, um, I've heard you speak a a lot about too.

And I think that is kind of where the shift happened for me is that. I can understand [00:06:00] within myself and by learning about and understanding more about me then when I'm learning about other people and noticing that we don't all come about things the same way. We don't all see things the same way, and really being able to.

Feel that more so than just like intellectually understand it. Then when my children would come to me with, with challenging behaviors or where we would have a disagreement about something, it allowed me more opportunity to give them some more grace and compassion and to be able to, like you're saying, like understand.

And this is just like one of the tools that you have in your toolkit of this overall kind of lifelong journey that you've been on, on helping with adoption journeys, with, challenging behaviors in, in them and being able to find this tool. And I think that, and, and maybe you can speak to that a little bit too, but having that.

It's more so than the strategies. It's [00:07:00] more so than the scripts of this is how I should interact with my child, and this is how I manage behavior. It's more so than just like changing my own way that I'm interpreting, but giving them their own space and kind of their own ability to have their journey.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I that's a beautiful way of putting it. I think a lot about, when I first learned human design, I was taught that it's, it's a blueprint of your energy. And I still use that vocabulary, but I think so much more now about that. It it's a storytelling tool. It tells the story of who we're all capable of being and our kids too.

But it doesn't like box you in. Right. It doesn't say This is who you must be. It outlines it. I think about it like in a movie, right? That the the person who wrote the script for the movie has this plan of how it could be if it was at its very best, right? Of course, when you're making a movie, you get to like [00:08:00] redo and redo and redo.

And in some cases in life we do too, right? But but that the person who wrote that script can't possibly. Like fully see the outcome because it is dependent on the characteristics, the mannerisms, the way that other people interpret their story. And I think the same about human design, right?

Like. Our kids do have this story outline that they're meant to fulfill, but they get to do it in their own way. And we get to decide if we want to help be stewards for them along that path and to guide them along that path. Or if we wanna say like, no, no, no. This is my story that you're acting out and I need you to do it my way.

Which I think that sounds awful, but I actually think that's how most parents go into parenting because they, they just don't know. Yeah. 

Speaker: Yeah, I think that for me, one of the things that when you were speaking, you said you know, like what the potential could be and you can see like [00:09:00] if this was at its best, like I have this vision of, of what this movie could look like.

And for me, I think that part as well, like being able to notice where the strength and opportunities are and also. Having that shadow side, I think for me helps to like pivot and be able to have that compass point. Because I think that a lot of times when we see, and especially like with our kids too, like looking at them and seeing these challenging behaviors, and we'll have these things like coming up and coming up and sometimes we can look at it and just be like, oh, that's just a really challenging part.

And like I am expecting these things, so like I'm looking for these gifts, but. A lot of times those challenging behaviors are because they're such an integral part of us and they're just living in that, in that other side of it, where if we can see those behaviors for what it was, so I think of just like with my kids, I'm like very strong, like stubborn.

Streaks [00:10:00] and whatever, but this is also where they get like their independence. Mm-hmm. And their ability to have these, their own strong moral compass and, and ability to see things very black and white. Right. So this is a really a gift that I can cultivate in them if I'm not fighting against them and using the designed to see that and the strengths I think is such a.

It's just a paradigm shift. 

Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. And I was thinking two things as you were talking one, um, so the other day I was recording a podcast that I'll release, I don't know, sometime soon. Um, but it was a very personal podcast because when I look back to what started me on this journey, you know, I mean, I think we started our journey when we're born and I, I fully believe now that the things that happened to us along our path are because, because. For whatever reason they were supposed to be on our path. And it's really hard to see it that way sometimes as we're in the thick of it. But when we look at our [00:11:00] human design and what we're meant to experience to really fulfill our purpose, it makes so much more sense.

So the other day I was recording a podcast that was about my brother when I was 18. I lost him and I when that happened at 18 years old. 18-year-old Angie, I went on this relentless pursuit to try to understand why, you know, why he left this planet. And so I dug into psychology. I ended up getting my bachelor's in psychology and, you know, did did my research project all about the topic that took him off this planet and I cognitively understood it.

But I couldn't understand like how he got to that point how life got to that point. And so in the past several months, I thought, yeah, I have this beautiful tool to understand people and I needed to understand him and what his experience could have been. And oh my goodness, like digging into his design, it made so much [00:12:00] sense because as you stated, right.

There are many elements in Hi, we all, every element of our design has a shadow and a gift. There are many elements in my brother's design that can create friction in a parenting relationship, can create friction in other relationships. One I don't know if you were specifically talking about, but you know, there's like the channel of struggle and it can also be called the channel of the fighter.

And when on the shadow side it to parents, it feels like, oh my gosh, I just need this child to listen to me. But when we see that energy for what it is, as you said, and we can really tap into that, it's such a beautiful gift. I think that when parents don't know that about their kids, they don't know how to let that shine and then they keep squashing it, which creates a child who doesn't feel safe or okay to be who they are.

It creates a child who questions their value because they feel this energy and they feel this need to like get it out and the [00:13:00] parents don't know how to handle it. And so that was one thing that I was thinking and. Then I totally lost my other thought. But, but, but the point being that human design gives us a way, as you said, to just see our kids with so much more compassion and a little bit more objectivity, right?

Because it feels so freaking personal. When our kids are saying, no, you can't make me, or I don't want to, or whatever comes out of their mouth. It's hard. As parents, we take it personal, but when we can take a pause and take a step back and look at it one through human design to say like, objectively this is the energy of.

Fighting of getting that energy out there. And that isn't a bad thing. They just need a better channel. And and to the other, you had kind of alluded to this before, but in my practice that I use with my clients, I also tie together concepts like mistaken motivations [00:14:00] to really see. What is that unmet need that my kiddo has that is fueling that need to feel more powerful?

What is fueling that need to maybe get more attention? So I think it's, I love the way that human design helps us be more objective as parents and get, try to be a little bit less personal, even though I know there are little humans. But, they're not trying to, upset us or ruin our day, they're just trying to figure out how to work with the energy that they have.

Speaker: Yeah. Can you talk a little bit more about the mistaken motivations or some of the tools that you use to help parents be able to connect more with their kids? 

Speaker 2: Yeah. Um, so mistake of motivations is probably one of the key tools that I use. So it's this concept, I'm gonna forget right now who it's based on, but it's based on work from many decades ago.

And so in for me to, just for a second, take a step back. So since [00:15:00] 1999, I have been. So well trained in behavior management strategies. I worked for several a, b, a clinics and new behaviors inside and out or so I thought and I'm not discrediting the work of a BA, I think that it has a ton of value, but but it looks at the surface of the behaviors, what we see happening in front of us.

And when I was introduced to the concept of mistaken motivations a couple of years ago, as I was becoming a certified. Parent coach, I learned this concept of mistake motivations and the premise behind mistake and motivations is when our kids are doing something or our significant others doing something or we are at target and the cashier is doing something that causes a feeling in us.

That, that it gives us a key signal about what mistake and motivation they're displaying. So for example, if if I'm trying to get my granddaughter ready, you know, get her [00:16:00] jammies on at night. And she's arguing with me and, you know, the, you can't make me, or I, you know, I don't want those jammies or those jammies or, you know, I've given her, I feel like a hundred different choices, right?

And it feels, I feel like, oh, I just wanna pick out her jammies and make her wear a pair and just be done with it. I'm fed up with this argument right when I, as the receiver in that situation, feel like I just want to overpower or take back control. Mistake of motivation says that that should be a key signal to me that the child is displaying the mistake of motivation of power, which should then tell me, oh, let me take a step back.

They're feeling like they're feeling very disempowered right now. They feel like they lost power, and so they're engaging in behaviors energetically with me to try to regain that sense of power. So when I'm feeling like, ugh, I just wanna take back power, I feel like I've lost control here. The three-year-old is running the show.

It should be, and this is what I teach my [00:17:00] clients, it should be a key signal for me to take a step back and say like, okay she's, acting like she's acting because she feels like she doesn't have power. How can I help her regain that? Which can be challenging, right? Because in that example where I said like, I've given her a hundred different choices.

As parents, it's so easy to, or grandparents, or caregivers, it's so easy to think like, I've tried all the things, I've tried everything. I've given them so many choices, but I find time and time again that when I am employing this strategy in my own process with her, that I take a step back and I say like, huh, wait.

She's a generator. She doesn't need choices from me, she needs a yes no question. She's feeling disempowered because I'm presenting options to her. And in the moment, at the end of the day when she's, used up all of her energy, she's struggling to make a choice and she feels like she, she like can't figure it out.

So I take a pause and I take a step back and say, do you want the unicorn jammies? And of course, initially she's like, [00:18:00] Uhuh, I kind of get a grumpy. But as I go through a few, you know, do you want the ice cream jammies? Eventually we get to the. Uh, and like we're back in sync again. 

Speaker: Right? 

Speaker 2: So that's what I, so that's one of the four mistaken motivations.

There are three others. Inadequacy is one, attention and revenge, but all of them are in that same light, that it's not about looking at how the behavior looks. It's about. It's about, um, noticing how the behavior makes me as the other person feel because we've all been there, right? Like, I'm sure you've had this too, where your kids are doing something and to you.

You might feel like, oh, I just need to swoop in and help them. Where maybe your hubs is like, ah, no, I need to take back control. The kids are not gonna run the house. Right? Like you, you'll have a very different reaction to them, which tells you that with you in that example, that the kiddos are displaying the mistaken motivation of inadequacy with you and power with your HU [00:19:00] husband.

So, um, which means different approaches. It means really taking a step back and reflecting on what is that unmet need. That our kids are having right now. 'cause as humans, we all have needs. Yeah, 

Speaker: that's so interesting. I actually hadn't heard that explained so, um, so in depth before. And I think that what it brings down and what I am, what I'm seeing is kind of throughout all of this is that so much of.

How we parent, how we view all, you know, our children and, and the relationship that we have. We have so much more ability to be able to change what that perspective is of our parenting. So I think that a lot of times as a parent, and I'll work with clients too who are like. Just at their wits end, like, I don't know how to, what to deal with these child, the children.

Like I've been there, right? [00:20:00] Like I just don't, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do right now, like with this relationship. And I think that what I've noticed is that using tools like this mistake of motivation, using tools like human design, using those things helps me to get out of the immediate dynamic that's happening a little bit and be able to take back.

How I'm viewing the relationship, which changes the whole dynamic because it's not that if I understand my kids' human design or if I know that they're this way, that it's going to automatically change. Our relationship. But what it is gonna do is it's gonna give me that ability to then, when I'm in a challenging situation, or even just in the regular, everyday, like leading up to that, because I think so often the challenging times are related to, you know, the two weeks before and how that relationship was occurring up to them that led to this challenging moment.

But being able to have that as a tool to be able to [00:21:00] change. How I show up for my kids, because if I'm viewing this as like, oh, they're, they're just trying to be difficult and like it's a power struggle and I need to take back my power, then I'm coming to it from a tools of like, all right, how do I get my power back?

Oh, I need to like rely on some of these disciplinary things. I need to do all these other things rather than like, how are they viewing the situation and how does that bring me? Like, how does that give me power in itself of just like understanding? 'cause I think that one of the things that I notice is that I would term, you know, like a gentle parenting.

Like I, I feel like I am pretty gentle, like positive parenting, but not in a way that gives up my power. And I think that that is just it, like you're retaining your. Ability to be that guide while still respecting your child's autonomy and helping to meet those unmet needs. And what I love about what you do is that [00:22:00] you help parents to be able to kind of see that and be able to get into that.

Where it does come out feeling like the relationship is the priority, like the ability to meet each other and to see each other and think of all the tools that we're giving to our children, who are then noticing that their needs are being noticed and met and that they can look at and, and have that perspective taking ability that maybe we didn't necessarily grow up with.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And I kept thinking as you were talking too about, you know, like I remember hearing when I was younger about, you know, the children are the future. Mm-hmm. Right? That there's this, you know, like, we need to raise children who are happy and productive and all of these things, right?

The children are, we wanna raise our kids to be productive members of society. I think is kind of like how I was raised to think about what my role as mom is. Yet, I think traditional parenting strategies, they take that like [00:23:00] the children are the future concept and then they teach us how to like fit all the kids into the boxes, which creates just so many problematic dynamics that we all are seeing kind of play out in society around us right now.

And you just so beautifully described how. Our job is to maintain our role as a role model for our kids, but they, our kids weren't put on this planet to learn how to respect us and follow our rules and do, you know, do all the things that I think, I know that I am on this planet to help people see those.

Those old ways of thinking, just they just can't be anymore. And I, it is an uphill battle because I, every, every week I meet people who are like, yeah, but they need to respect me. They need to listen to me, they need to follow my rules. And I know that I go [00:24:00] against the grain when I say like, but do they, like, is it their job to respect you?

Is it their job to follow your rules or is it their job to figure out? What in the heck they're here to do, to create change in the world, to to really be the kids are the future 

Speaker: and the future's different than 

Speaker 2: what the past was? Oh my gosh, yes. It is so incredibly different. And so, you know, when we take a step back and we look around at what's happening with our kids and our schools and our, you know, medical systems, there's just so much.

Chaos right now in the government. It, we're not talking about any of that here, but there's just so much chaos happening around and we can't like you said, like we can't just study, we can't just, um, learn our kids like, oh my kid's a generator and a two four profile. Okay, great. Got it.

New parenting strategy. No, no, no. It's about really experimenting with it and trying it. And adjusting the way that we respond, the more that we [00:25:00] understand them, and we're not gonna get it right the first time or the first a hundred times because we have all these old patterns of the ways that we've been trained, the way that we think, the way that we were raised, all of the things.

But it's about that persistence. It's, it's interesting this I, I don't know, do you follow the energy forecast? Like what energy we're in day by day? Yeah. Today's energy is all about endurance and like. Sticking through it and trusting that, trusting that things will happen when they're supposed to happen.

And I think that as I was thinking about, I have a podcast called Don't Make Me Tap Again. It's kind of a tongue in cheek, like, you know, that like, don't make me turn this bus around. Yeah. Um. But each, every few days I put up a little video about EFT for parents. Because we all get stuck in these energies and stuck in our own.

Own thought process. But I, as I was thinking about creating the video for today, I was really thinking about that idea of, as [00:26:00] parents, you know, like we learn a new behavior management strategy and we tried a couple times and we're like, see, nope, that didn't work. And then we're onto the next, and onto the next and onto the next, instead of having compassion and grace for ourselves to say like, okay, I, I tried that.

I kind of missed the mark. That's okay. I get to try it again. That's what we wanna teach our kids too. Right. 

Speaker: Yeah. I love that. I think that it's so funny that you're saying that I've, um, I've talked to, um, people in my life and I've been like, okay, well, all right, this parenting strategy. And they're like, oh, I'm doing this.

And then they're like, oh um, you know, I've taken this course, I'm doing this stuff. Like they have the, the how we're supposed to respond. I'm responding. I don't remember what the words were that they were using, but it was, um, this like particular response and they're like. Then my kids are just like, why do you just keep saying that word?

Like, why do you, why are you, and it's, it's creating this like they know that the energy [00:27:00] behind it is not matching the words that are coming out. Right. So, and it's somebody else's words. And I think that as you're saying that, and when you're like, okay, you know, yeah, I know that you're a two four generator.

I know whatever I move on, or I'm taking this parenting strategy, I'm trying it out and it's not working like. I think that one of the cool things about being able to utilize human design in the realm of like other parenting strategies and eef t tapping and all these things, is that ability to take ownership of your own.

Part of the, a part of it. Like this is my part, this is what I'm bringing to it. When you're talking about the generational thing and like, oh, I need them to respect me. Sure, but, but why, like, what unmet need did you have that you're now trying to fill by getting the respect of this tiny child, like you're an adult.

Let's own our own part of it. But bringing in like, what are we bringing to the table and then using that individually because human design is not like, oh, I am, you know, [00:28:00] I'm a Myers-Brigg whatever, or I am a this introvert or I'm an extrovert. Like it's not these big labels, it is, can get so specific the more that you learn about it and being able to attune to that child in front of you and being able to individually, because the strategy that I do for this child is not necessarily gonna be the strategy that's gonna work for this one over here and.

Even the interplay, like going in even deeper and like the interplay between my personal energy and that child and like how those connect versus this child over here and noticing that all of that's gonna be a little bit different. So the way that I'm gonna show up and the way that's gonna work best to be able to meet these children's needs is gonna be different and can be individual and I don't know, do you.

Notice that when you're working with people or like when you're doing it, that they are able to individualize their approaches much more with this? 

Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh yeah. I mean. [00:29:00] That's the name of the game, right? With human design. Is that it? You're right. It isn't, it's not like, here's your design and here's my design and I'm gonna live out mine.

And you live out yours. No, when we're with each other, even like when I'm with you. Right. Our energies interact in a way that, you know, I, on other podcasts and I don't have the same flow of energy because we're our, um, what my energy seeks, you know, perhaps, do you have some of those hanging gates, right?

Yeah. Yeah. And so yeah that's just it, right? When. When we really understand, and you know, what I notice more often with my clients is that, um, it's actually the, when things aren't going so hot, that's when it's really clear, right? Like, oh, when I'm, you know, when I'm with this kiddo, like I can feel great, and then I go into the room and it's just like instantly I'm frustrated.

I'm like, yep. I see that in your design. Yeah. 

Speaker: I think it's so funny too, like even going back and like looking at my family's designs and stuff like that and being able to see like, [00:30:00] oh, this makes so much more sense as to why like this relationship that I have is really great when it's great, but also really sparky when it's not like, mm-hmm.

And being able to just notice and being like, oh, like this. It just for me, being able to do it and, and. If you know you're interested in learning more about your children's designs, if you're learning, interested in learning more about your own, there are tools that you can find out information. But I think that getting the base level of this is what it is, is great.

And I think that's is, it can be really helpful if you get the tools and strategies to know like, okay, this is what this profile means, this is what this type means. But as you're saying, like as the relationship progresses, and what I really noticed is that like I've. And I think I got introduced to, uh, human design in 2019.

So, you know, I'm a little ways into it now and not that I was like fully immersed from the get go, [00:31:00] but as it keeps kind of coming around or as like, I keep getting more layers of information and, and, you know, was really doing that deep dive. Like it just. Impacted how I showed up. And again, like just how I saw things, I just, I came to it and I, I don't know if you noticed this too, but I came to it with so much more curiosity, right?

Like I would just be like walking around the world like, oh, I wonder if this person, you know, like you're just noticing. But I think that that in itself, like even not knowing people's things, but just being open. To, oh, they might be seeing this differently. Oh, I wonder how they're gonna react to this.

Like, and looking for those things, I think made me probably like, improve my relationship generally overall, but just made me like, show up in all of my relationships with more of that like curiosity rather than judgment on, you know, how I'm viewing somebody or that's different than me. [00:32:00] 

Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, 100%. I think I think that I tended to I, I think if.

You had met me five, 10 years ago, you would've still said I was a, a rosy colored glasses kind of girl, right? Like I just tend to see the good and not focus on the negative typically. But it has just, it has exponentially changed that because, you know, like you, the example, like you go to Target and if your cashier is extra grumpy.

It, it would be easy to say like, what the heck? Why are they being so rude to me versus saying like. Oh, wow. I wonder if they're a burnt out projector who's, you know, trying to make enough money to pay the bills in this current economy, or I wonder if they're a generator who's doing work that they don't love or not that it's not great working on target, but you know, you know what I mean?

Like, it just, it gives us this. Curiosity, I think is a great way to put that with strangers, with our loved ones. It's harder to see with our [00:33:00] loved ones, honestly, 'cause we feel like we know them so well. And that's kind of what I was saying about that iceberg analogy is that you know, like we, we think we know our kids so well and I think it can almost feel insulting to a parent when I'm like, but wait, you, there's so much more to them, you know, as we take it very personally, like, no, no, no, I know everything about them.

But we can, we can't. This gives us another, it's kind of like, like an, I heard somebody once call it an MRI. Mm. You know, it's like an MRI for your energy to really see the things that an X-ray can't see. You can't see on the surface lab work, can't see. But it really helps you to see, see really the inner workings of what's going on inside.

That's feeling all the behaviors that we see. 

Speaker: Well, and I think too, like again, like moving into that, like leaning into strengths. I think what I've noticed is it's so empowering. Even like working with my clients, like if, if I know their information, like just talking to them and then being able to pull out those nuggets of like, [00:34:00] oh, you know, like this here because you know, you have these as your sun gates or you have like these, these lines of energy that you have.

And just being able to hear them as people speak and being able to name them. Mm-hmm. And I think for some of us. And being able to do that with our children from the get go, I think is amazing, right? Like, they're gonna be so much further ahead. But doing this process like with adults or with the parents and stuff too, and just being able to name like these opportunities that they have, or even seeing it in the shadow side and being like, you know, this might be why you're not feeling like you're feeling resentment or you're feeling discouragement or frustration.

Because you're out of alignment in these areas and giving them the opportunity to like, feel like they're truly being seen, feel like they're like things that they. Might not be able to put a name on or that they have been conditioned to like not be able to relate to because, you know, maybe they were raised in a household where this trait [00:35:00] was not recognized.

Um, and being able to bring that I think is so exciting and. I just love being able to watch people like light up when you're just like, oh, yeah, this, like, I don't even have to talk about human design specifically at all, but I can just notice those traits that are coming out and like see how they respond to it and being able to like see that opportunity, like you're saying, like the MRI, we don't know what's all going on in our body, but having that information and being able to be like, oh, like this is why this always felt funny when I, you know, like 

I just think that that part of it is so cool. 

Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. Oh I totally agree. And yeah, and that, it's such an interesting point too, right? Like in, in our work, right? We don't have to talk about human design, but when we know it and can you shift our vocabulary, shift our approach, shift the questions that we ask our clients because of what we can see in [00:36:00] them it definitely helps people feel more seen.

Speaker: And to be able to do that as a parent for my child. Like they don't have to know anything about their human design. They can at some point, and like for parents that are coming in and like, I don't understand, understand human design at all, Angie, but I'm here like, help me. Mm-hmm. Help me understand this behavior.

And I think it can be intimidating because it can go really deep and there can be a lot of layers to it. But being able to show up and be open. To whatever is resonating with you at that point, and I think that. That's one of the big areas of strength that I see with you too, is that you have all of these, like you have this background and all these different techniques, and you can meet people where they're at.

So it's not like somebody's gonna come to you and you're gonna be like, all right, now here is your charts and here are your kids' charts, and let's go through these 40 pages of stuff and like just. That's not realistic and that's not helpful. But being able to notice like some of these important areas [00:37:00] that they might be able to do, being able to own their own energy with the tapping, with all of these different things that you can meet the parent where they are and with what interests they have.

Because I know that not everybody out there is gonna wanna geek out on human design, like I get that. But also like being able to take these tools and the knowledge that you have and being able to utilize that. To improve the relationships with their kids, to feel more secure and happy and aligned in their own parenting.

Like those are the gifts that you're able to bring to people and to be able to give them even that. Ability to have the confidence so that when they do get questioned by those, you know, older generations or the whatever, like that, they can feel secure in how they're responding and how they're interacting.

And they're not gonna necessarily be swayed by outside forces as much. 

Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, it is about, it isn't just about empowering our kids, it's also about empowering parents to [00:38:00] feel confident in what they're doing, how they're doing it, that they're doing the right thing. I think, I know as a parent, I, I think I had kind of shared my story a little bit the last time we chatted, I'm a bio mom and an adoptive mom, and I went into my adoption journey feeling so incredibly prepared.

I knew everything I could possibly know about trauma, attachment, behaviors, all the things, and. Then I was doing all the strategies and I just kept missing the mark because I didn't, I couldn't see him. I think two things. One, I wasn't taking care of myself and, um, attachment's hard. It's really, really hard.

And so I wasn't taking good care of myself. I didn't know what my energy needs were, and so I was burning myself out. And I, all I could see with him were those kind of tip of the iceberg behaviors and I knew that underneath them there was a layer of trauma. But understanding his real energy needs it.

Understanding that now as he's a young adult [00:39:00] helps me respond so much differently to, you know, what's happening in the dynamics of our relationship. And so really it, I can't. I can't speak enough to how important it is to have strategies to handle behaviors with your kids that are actually meant for your kids and not this like.

Of course when we are responding to our kids' energy needs, it is a bit of experimentation, but it's experimentation in a much smaller scope about them versus this experimentation of well, maybe I'll try stick charts, maybe I'll try consequences. Maybe I'll try, you know, positive reinforcement.

Maybe I'll try, you know, all these things. But it's like, you're like pulling from a big, huge vat of behavior strategies as opposed to. Working with the couple few that are more aligned with your kiddos needs. Yeah. 

Speaker: Yeah. So much so I think that just like you're saying, like having the tools to be able to meet your child and you [00:40:00] like that relationship.

Being able to utilize tools that are specific to that rather than pulling from decades and decades worth of all kinds of parenting advice. Some that might have been great at some point, some that maybe never was, like you just don't know. And pulling all of that and then trying to just slap it on and see if it sticks, versus being able to come in and and utilize things and try out things like experiment with ones that are more tailored and are more.

In line with how you both interact, like how your child is and being able to show that up, that it's still gonna be, like you're saying, it's still gonna be a process. It's still gonna be experimentation, but it's gonna be so. One that is much more tailored to that and in such a shorter timeframe and more intentional, like, you'll be able to do the compass points because at some point it's not gonna be like, here's just the strategies.

Okay, you're, you're a two [00:41:00] four, and so this is the strategy that we use. Like that's not what it is either. But you can have that experimentation to try things that are working closer so that then you can just get it right to where. This is the relationship and as my children changes and grows, I'm still attuning to them and not necessarily their developmental age at that time.

So sticker charts may work great for my toddler, maybe not, but they may work great for my toddler, but my 16-year-old is not gonna care about getting their sticker chart on there, so I'm not having to necessarily change. My whole strategy if I'm focused on the relationship and growing and expanding that and, and meeting those needs, because those needs are gonna be consistent, whereas the outside strategy may not.

Speaker 2: Yeah. That when, yeah, to that point too, right? Like you were asking, you know, what are some of the tools that I use and it's so, I use mistake motivations. I use human design. I do use EFT with my clients. Um. Also just typical child development, right? That sometimes when our [00:42:00] kids go through behaviors it's because they're supposed to, it's because it's an essential part of their learning and growth.

I was, um, I was. Attending this infant mental health training yesterday and the presenter, it was so fascinating because she, um, it was for the state of Wisconsin and she was giving this beautiful presentation about behaviors, and she essentially was outlining the same things that I do in my practice in that, you know, she wasn't saying human design, but she was talking about, you know, the, the energetic needs of our kids, those unmet needs.

But she was talking about the example of when our toddler drops or the, not even toddler yet, an infant drops the spoon, right? Mm-hmm. And as parents, we can so quickly, like at first we're like, oh, ha ha, people told me this was gonna happen, but then we quickly get annoyed and we try to stop the behavior.

But it is an essential part of their brain development. For their social emotional development. It seems silly, right? They're dropping a [00:43:00] spoon and they're splattering puree everywhere, but they're learning about object permanence, which is important when it comes to that dynamic between parent and child or caregiver and child, that our kids need to understand that when things go away, they come back again and they go away and they come back again.

But as parents, we get so hyperfocused on that behavior. Even when it's developmental. And so, yeah. To your point, right, like sticker charts, they can work for some kids. Great. Because some kids need, you know, when you think about the mistake and motivation of attention, think about it puts us as parents in a place where we're, we're, um, like required to give them more attention, right?

Like, oh, they did a good thing. Give 'em a sticker. Oh, they did a good thing. Give 'em a sticker. It helps us meet that mistake of motivation, of attention. But when our kids are 16, they need a different kind of attention. That need is still underneath the surface. A kiddo who's designed to need more attention, energetically they're gonna [00:44:00] keep needing it.

And it, I don't mean that in a negative way. Like, oh my gosh, this is gonna be exhausting. No, it gets it. It's an experiment that we get to play the game with them and really understand what they need. But but it's gonna change and evolve over time as they get older. And that, that's the fun of parenting.

Speaker: And I love that because I do think that it can get, you can get in that drudgery of like, oh my gosh, for the next, however, like we're just starting to hit the teen and tween years and some of that. Is challenging. And if I focus just on the challenging parts of it, like that is gonna be very, it's gonna feel very energy draining.

But if I can approach it in ways that feel good for my energy, in ways of, of being curious and like, there's a lot of really cool, fun things that are happening too. Like they're becoming these very articulate little people that just are becoming their, you know, mini versions of who they're going to come into being and being able to do it from that point.

Makes it so that it's not, it's not that they're [00:45:00] needing less attention, it's not that they're needing any of these things, they're still gonna have that. But also, it's not bad. Like even as adults, we need attention like, but being able to frame it in these ways of like, this is just part of the behavior.

And this is just like, I'm getting curious about this stage of you, of who you are, and now you're changing, and now I'm gonna get curious about this stage of who you are rather than like. These stuck, stagnant behaviors that I think that sometimes we label on our kids when they're young, and then we just think that that's just who they are.

And then we are never curious about them anymore, and we just think that we know everything. And so then it does become very behavior driven. Okay. I. Angie, I know that people are gonna wanna know more about what you do, how to get involved with the things that you're doing. Can you share a little bit, you have the couple podcasts.

You have, um, information where they can get more information on working with you individually or in collective. Can you share a little bit more about how people can get more, um, information about you? 

Speaker 2: Yeah. Probably my first [00:46:00] recommendation would be to check out, so I have a private mini podcast.

It's called The Parenting Reset. And the reason I send people there first is it's, it's a short series. I think there are seven episodes and some of them are pretty short, but it really outlines my framework of how I serve and how I help people see their kids differently. I can get you the link and we can put that in the show notes.

That's where I would go first. But I do also have two other podcasts, so sometimes love isn't enough. I I have a new episode every week and then, uh, don't Make Me Tap again. That one's a YouTube only podcast because it's a video and I put out a new episode at least every six days because I have been following the energy forecast with that.

But then I've been starting to sprinkle in a couple of other. Episodes just as things come up to me or things come up with my clients that I think, oh, this could really help other people. So I do just one tapping sequence in in the episode. So they're, 15 minutes long at most. And yeah, you can find me@angiegrant.com.

There's a strong [00:47:00] German D in there. Yeah, I think that's it. 

Speaker: Thank you so much, Angie. It's been a pleasure. I always love speaking with you. Thank you so much for sharing your time and your wisdom with all of my listeners, and I will look forward to talking with you again.