Authentic Thriving Podcast
Welcome to Thriving mindset podcast. On this platform I will be talking on mental health, emotional wellbeing, sprituality, business, career, purpose . This will help you transform your mind as a person, help you live a purposeful life with clarity through holistic intentional lifestyle.Your feedback comments and share will be highly appreciated. Thank you and look forward to serving you value and authenticity.
Authentic Thriving Podcast
Living with Lupus but Thriving
What happens when your own body becomes your enemy? In this powerful conversation, therapist and PhD researcher IJ Asike shares her extraordinary journey living with lupus - an autoimmune disease where the body's defense systems attack its own tissues and organs.
From unexplained childhood illnesses to finally receiving a diagnosis at age 26, IJ reveals the physical and emotional toll of navigating a condition that can affect everything from her joints to her kidneys, creating unpredictable limitations that transform daily life. "Sometimes I wake up feeling fine, but by 10am, I'm at 15% battery," she explains.
Beyond the medical aspects, IJ offers profound wisdom about the psychological and spiritual dimensions of chronic illness. She shares her process of pain, acceptance, adaptation, and growth - challenging common misconceptions about what acceptance means. "Acceptance isn't giving up faith," she insists. "It's a point you arrive at that allows you to adapt and see new possibilities." This perspective transformed her experience from one where "life stopped" to discovering unexpected purpose through her condition.
The conversation explores how faith, medical support, family connections, and finding meaning beyond illness create the foundation for flourishing despite physical limitations. IJ's research examines the crucial question: what factors determine whether someone with chronic illness merely survives or genuinely thrives?
For anyone navigating chronic illness, supporting a loved one with health challenges, or simply seeking inspiration for life's unexpected difficulties, IJ's story demonstrates how adversity can become a pathway to deeper authenticity. As she poignantly puts it: "My healing is not the absence of lupus - my healing is having the support I need to live meaningfully with it."
Join us for this transformative discussion about finding strength, purpose and authentic living when life doesn't follow your original plan. Share your own experiences or questions in the comments!
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So I've been diagnosed with lupus. So I was diagnosed fully in 2012 when I was in England. But if I go back as a child, I've always been a sickly child. So, um, at least from the age of seven, I've had one ailment or the other hello and welcome to authentic traveling podcast.
Speaker 2:I am your host, abby asunia evanisa. I am an investor in positive transformation through counseling, life coaching, speaking and also writing books. Have you read my book yet? Inner Harmony Resilience Beyond Chronic Stress and Burnout. This book is available on Amazon and also on my website, wwwasebconsultancycom.
Speaker 2:On this podcast, we talk about our mental health, emotional well-being and also our holistic well-being in order for us to thrive authentically. This is a safe space for you to speak about soulful truth and talk about the things that will help you to come back to yourself and regain your self-awareness. Welcome to the Authentic Podcast once again. So on today's episode of Authentic Travel Podcast, I am going to be having a very lovely conversation with IJ Asike. I hope I pronounced that name right. If I forgot your name, ij, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2:So I've got with me the lovely, lovely IJ and I think it would be best for her to introduce herself. But one thing that I know she might not mention she's also currently working on a PhD, right. I know she might not mention she's also currently working on a PhD, right? I know she might not mention that, but I think I will just throw that in. So I'm going to let her introduce herself, because I'm super excited about this discussion, so I just thank you so much for, you know, honoring my invitation to share with us your experience and also to just talk us through certain things that we don't know about what we're going to be discussing today. So I'm going to just allow you to introduce yourself and then we just dive in.
Speaker 1:Okay, so my name is EJ and people call me IJ, so the full name is Gapalum, but it's a bit of a tongue twister, so everyone calls me EJ. So EJ is CK. So I live in the UK. I'm a therapist by profession, so I see people with different mental health issues and give counseling sessions and, as you mentioned, give counselling sessions and, as you mentioned, I'm currently doing my PhD, too, at the University of Greater Manchester. But besides that, I'm also a mum and also a daughter to a very adorable mother. So, um, that, just some. That that's me in in brief, and maybe as we talk, we'll get to know no more. So I'm, I'm in full-time phd and I'm also practicing as a therapist fantastic, fantastic, ij.
Speaker 2:so today's conversation is a very personal one and it's going to be based on your diagnosis of lupus and your journey from that. So I'm just going to allow you to lead. If you could just tell us where, how they started your journey, and then we will just have to kind of pick. Whatever it is, you're going to share a different interface, so over to you um, so, yes, um.
Speaker 1:So I've been diagnosed with lupus. So I was diagnosed fully in 2012. Um, when I was in england then, um, but if I go back as a child, I've always been a sickly child. From the age of seven, I've had one ailment or the other Some, and most of the times they were not diagnosed. I've had seizures and doctors wouldn't know what was happening to me. I have joint pains that I'd had, joint pains that would make me unable to walk unaided for months. When people come to my house, I'll be maybe kneeling or holding the wall to walk. I'll have someone take me to school and I'll sit in Joint pains, unable to even to.
Speaker 1:I'm a Christian, like I'm a Christian and I'm a Catholic. So normally when you go to church, there are certain times in church where you kneel and I couldn't kneel, and some people would say, ah, this small child, why can't you kneel down in church? You know, and it was painful, but no one knew. And also then people would. Until you kneel down in church, you know, and it was painful, but no one knew, and also then people would.
Speaker 1:When things are unexplainable, like I remember having stomach aches then and I would be screaming and crying all through the night and you can like hear people like saying this child, you want to kill your mother. I've actually had some relative come to the hospital and tell me to my face, do you want to kill your mother? And all that. And I know it comes from a good place, but at that time also I was also like a child that was confused, not knowing what I would wake up to. So it's been like that seizures, joint pains, joint thickening, adaptations, different like all through my childhood. I think I had a bit of respite from at a point I was in boarding school.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I was always going home, because there was always something like I'll be in boarding school one week, I'm back home. You know I'll get reoccurring typhoid fevers, reoccurring malaria, reoccurring things that are unexplainable. You know that you can't really say, okay, this is, this is what is wrong with this child. You know you keep on going for tests, barium mills, um, and I can remember one certain time, um, I was actually doing um oil you know palm oil yeah, I didn't know.
Speaker 1:You know, as a small child you, just one morning I noticed that I couldn't explain what happened, you know, but it was just palm oil and we went to the hospital. I don't know what. That one resolved itself. All those things, you know, were just happening as a child. I had a respite from my ss3 um to uni days. I didn't have any, I was just having like malaria.
Speaker 1:Um, I know, when it's cold my fingers get swollen. I I catch cold easily, but nothing major, as I had as a child. I was always having one thing or the other, either lumps or you know. But then it was just like, okay, maybe it's just malaria and all that, not nothing major, just those swelling fingers. And I was feeling like I always had clicking joints too.
Speaker 1:So but I wasn't um, it wasn't bad, I couldn't manage or it wasn't noticeably felt like one of the things you get when you're in the area malaria, typhoid, um. But then I was, I felt okay. But then I was, I felt okay. I knew I was sensitive to so many things like food, but it wasn't out of the ordinary. I would say that period in my life SS3 to my four years in university, so that's like five years, I had respite, like no one was saying, oh, she's sick or she's that, and it did feel good like and I and I know like people I would say, oh, I hope you're no longer sick. You used to be very sick when you were young, you know, to be very sick.
Speaker 1:I hope you're no longer sick and all that, and it did feel good. But, however, um changed. So I moved to to England in 2009 to do my masters. So I was okay. It's just like life going on. But I noticed that sometimes after work I feel enormous pain, you know, and my whole body will be aching after eating, like you're literally saying so, like everyone say oh, change of weather, you know, change of environment, take paracetamol at the end of the days after work. Change and take a paracetamol, and I would do that. Wake up the next morning. I could wake up fine. Then at the end of the day, I noticed I'll be limping, you know, finger swelling, dry throat like so dry that it feels like I'm suffocating, like something is. My throat is tightening. So, in a sense, and even when I talk, would notice, my mouth is dry right so I would always like take water, have water handy to just get my throat.
Speaker 1:So that was things that were happening chest pain and I visited Nigeria. So before I visited Nigeria I complained of chest pain and my mom didn't want me to go to Nigeria. So she was like you should really get that checked out. You know, you should get that chest pain checked. I went to the GP, I had a chest x-ray and, seeing the GP, I also told the GP that I had this clicking joint and painful joints. Sometimes all of a sudden my arm would just start shaking uncontrollably and I told him I've had this for a while, that internally, you know, sometimes you have internal conversations with yourself and I was saying I wish I hope I don't have any cancer of the bone because it was something that was particularly concerning for me, however, because of my history of being sickly, sometimes you suppress things, sometimes you just don't want to go back there, you know?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, but in my mind, subconsciously, I've always like this is something that my joints are always clicking. I think there's something really wrong with my bones, you know. So I was just having didn't think he would take it seriously, but he said you know what? I'm going to send you for a test. So he sent me for that test and a few days before I travel, my mom was like checking with them. So I said they didn't call me. So if they saw something that they would have called me. So I called the receptionist just because of my mom, and I said, oh, I did a test a few weeks ago. Is it out and all that. So she said, oh, everything is fine. So I was like, okay, fine.
Speaker 1:So I left, um, so, but on my way to the airport that I was now going back to Nigeria, I got a call from my GP saying I need to come into hospital immediately. But I was already on the train going to the airport and because it was the underground in London, you know there's service call, but I was like I can't come back. And I just couldn't call back. But she was like the doctor says you need to come into and say the gp now. And it was not like later, it was like now. You know so. But I couldn't go back.
Speaker 1:So I went to Nigeria, um, but as I went to Nigeria I was still having all those things I saw. I went to see a doctor in Nigeria and I was saying, oh, this is the things that, um, I'm feeling my fingers, my joints. And she, he was like, oh, oh, this looks like rheumatoid arthritis, right, you know. So we just, I just walked to him casually and we spoke about it. And why I actually spoke? Because that period I went to Nigeria I had a friend, my friend's wife.
Speaker 1:Then I visited her when I went to Nigeria and she had this weird ailment and they said it was rheumatoid arthritis, where she wakes up sometimes with a swollen face. Tomorrow she's fine. And when I came she was telling me all that had happened to her, that now she goes for steroid injections and all that, that her fingers will swell up and her face will swell up. I mean, like when she spoke, you know when someone is speaking and it feels like you're the one speaking. So she was talking and I was like, oh my god, like then I hadn't started, having felt in face swellings but every other thing, like the pain, the finger swelling, you know, the joints clicking and all that, so, so many things that internal heat say if my body is burning up, and all that Everything she was saying. I resonated with it, but she said she was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.
Speaker 1:So I think after having that conversation we had that it made me when I went back to lagos but she stayed in the east when I went back to lagos and I went to see that doctor and said, okay, this is this. And I didn't tell him I had a conversation with a friend, but I just said and he said, oh, it does sound like rheumatoid arthritis. If he has to do it. You're joint. So, um, that happened, um, and I was just getting along with myself in nigeria and all that. It was when I got pregnant that I decided to come back okay, you know what you said.
Speaker 2:You went to niger, nigeria, right? What was the gap between you going to Nigeria? And also, before you answer that question, I was just wondering if you could explain to us what is lupus. Okay, is that we are not going to assume that all our listeners understand what lupus is, even malaria not everybody know what malaria is, right, because in this country they say they do not have mosquito. So when you tell someone that, oh, I just went to nigeria, when I came back, I contracted malaria, they're like what's malaria? But to us we know what malaria is because we have mosquitoes all over Nigeria, right? So I'm just wondering what is lupus? And also all the symptoms that you gave.
Speaker 2:It just seems to mimic a lot of other conditions, because when you were describing it, I was like it sounded very much as if you've got sickle cell, you know, like SS. We were talking about those things. It sounds like when they have crises and the different things. I'm like are you sure it was not a sickle cell case? But it's not that, is it? So it mimics other things. As we were talking, I could just think that, oh, it sounds as if it was that, but at the end of the day, she's calling it lupus. So please, you can first tell us what lupus is and then let us know the fact that it mimicked a lot of things and it took so long for you to be diagnosed.
Speaker 2:I think it's based on the fact that he mimicked a lot of conditions. And also, if you could tell us the space between you receiving that phone call on your way to the airport and then coming back, let's know how that's, you know. And then they also mimic me, rheumatized. I try it, I try it so you can see that confusion there. And I do apologize to the viewers If you see me dabbing on my nose. I've got a bit of cold, so I do apologize if that's off-putting for you. So over to you, aj.
Speaker 1:So lupus is a funny health condition. Yeah, so it's an autoimmune disease whereby your cells so where your cells are meant to protect you yeah, um, protect you from disease, diseases, infections and all that but it now attacks your internal organs, it attacks itself, it attacks your body, attacks anything. So it's, it's chaotic inside your body so we cannot identify that.
Speaker 1:This is a good cell, so that that's why it attacks your kidneys, your skin, liver, heart, all that. So it's an autoimmune disease where your cells cannot identify which is a good soldier, if I put it like normally, so if your body is a country, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:And there is war, right, the soldiers are unable to say this is our team, this is my people. No, it fights Its team, so it fights the same people that is meant to be protecting you. It's fighting it, right. That's how it attacking it.
Speaker 1:That's how I can make it just simpler for each and everyone to say our cells attack our bodies. That is what it is. So our cells attack each other, they fight each other. They don't know between that. This is bacteria and this is a good cell. This is what needs to be fought off and this is not. It just goes haywire and and attacks everything that it lays its hands on so that is what lupus is yeah, that really sound very chaotic, like you describe it.
Speaker 2:Is it genetic or is it um? Can you infect someone, or is it something that you can be infected with, or is it it genetic?
Speaker 1:So, as far as we know, you cannot get it from someone. You hear people say, oh, can it be infectious? It is not infectious, yeah, so the thing is, people are genetically disposed to have lupus Right. So there is a genetic disposition to have lupus, but I think would also touch on the fact of where we talk about aces. Yeah, adverse childhood experiences, suppression of emotions um, I think if you read the book of gabo mate, we talked about how suppressed emotions is that a body?
Speaker 2:is that a body?
Speaker 1:keep the scars and in in most of his, in most of his books he he is a key person that talks about the fact of when emotions are suppressed, it can come out in forms of chronic illness, yes, and stuff like that. So when you're also genetically susceptible to a chronic illness, things like your environment or things you're going through in life can trigger, you know, can trigger that disease to go full blown. So in a way it's like a sleeping giant. When something now wakes it up, you know it goes, but sometimes we don't know the psychology behind all those things. But there are people that are genetically disposed to diabetes, chronic illness, all that, lupus and all that. So lupus is part of that illness that people are genetically disposed to and it falls under the line of when we talk about arthritis because of the joint implications. So you can see, um, so it's the easier thing to like people to to shift it to rheumatoid arthritis and diagnose people with rheumatoid arthritis yeah well, it's lupus that it's affecting them so that there is a genetic disposition.
Speaker 1:But now said there are also people that can have neonatal lupus, so lupus triggered after childbirth Right have lupus at birth.
Speaker 2:So is that the mother or the child?
Speaker 1:So some can have lupus after childbirth. Some children can have lupus when they are given bed to anitroplep. It depends, but the majority of people have that predisposition to having lupus. But it cannot be, so you can't get it from touching somebody, so it's not transferable. It's not a disease that can be contacted. Rather, it is the person that has lupus that is predisposed to getting any infection because your immune system is that low that it cannot fight off any disease. So the person with lupus is more cautious of catching something right and giving something right yeah.
Speaker 1:So if you're like a young mom and your kids go to school and you know, once kids go to school they come back with a lot of stuff. So anytime there's a seasonal viral stuff, they come back and you take it in. So you're prone to catching more um infections than any person, not just because of your lupus, but because of the medications that you're taking that also suppressing you. So you have this medication it's called immunosuppressants right so they suppress your overactive immune system?
Speaker 1:right, yeah, so our immune system are overactive. That is why it affects every part of our body.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:So when we take these medications Called Immune suppressants?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Suppress your immune system and even make you more vulnerable, you know, to infections.
Speaker 2:Right, alright, thank you so much for explaining that. So now I'm just wondering In in Nigeria did they not do tests? You know, because I'm just thinking about when you started being sickly till the diagnosis what is the gap? At what age did they diagnose it?
Speaker 1:So I was diagnosed when I was 26.
Speaker 2:Wow, wow, that's like 20 or 19 years yeah.
Speaker 1:I was emotionally dreaded for you, your family and you know it was when I was diagnosed that my mom was like you know it would have. It might have been lupus that had been happening to you all those years that no one knew. You know there'll be like, keep praying for her. You don't know what's wrong. I think there was a time when I had seizures. So when they took me to the hospital, like they would take me to the hospital, you went to hateth. You know, um, I think my mom was fearing that everything that happened to me. I had to go to the hospital, but she didn't take anything for granted. So take me to the hospital and at the point I felt like like the students would come, medical students will be around and the doctor wouldn't know. They would do ecg, they would do this, do that. They wouldn't see anything, um, and the doctor wants to ask me. So they tell us what is wrong with you. You know that that's how I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah how are you supposed to know you've not gone to medical school or something? How are you supposed to know you've not gone to medical school or something? How are you supposed to know that that was? They probably reached the end of themselves. They didn't know what to what to say anymore.
Speaker 2:Okay, now for anybody out there, if you know you're going through this condition, ij is going to be leaving some, some information because she's doing research about it. You know, to see the medical side of things, the emotional side of things, if you listen carefully, adam Kinney, she also said she was a therapist as well. Right, we know that this condition will be emotionally draining, mentally exhausted, will be financially draining as well. So it kind of tapped into the very core of our essence, if you may say so. If you're triggered by this, please reach out, send us an email or look into the information side of where you're watching from, whether it's from YouTube or from any of our podcast platforms. There will be useful information there for you to get appropriate support. Or if you have questions for IJ because we tend to we're going to organize a session where she'll be coming with someone else to ask, answer your questions. So please don't just leave it like that, send us questions, and I'm sure the email that you can use will be running across the screen for you to send us an email and also look for information on the description box. So back to you, ij.
Speaker 2:So I'm just wondering the emotional roller coaster. Your mother, uh, your father, was going through the emotional roller coaster that you are going through because you are very young. Nobody teaches us, even as an adult, where things of our web is always like all the things that we learned, you kind of fly through the window because they are big dollars taking over. I'm just wondering how did you cope? Before you jump into the other questions I asked before, how are you people coping with all of this? I know you mentioned prayer as well and I know catholic. You guys use the roses and all of the stuff and you get other people to also join you. I'm just wondering how did you cope for someone that is at this stage? I'm just wondering how did she cope. How did you cope?
Speaker 1:please, if you can share with us um, I think, um, so my it's the cope came at. Well, I think my mom too. I lost my dad when I was nine months old, so it's just been myself and my mom. My brother died sooner after the death of my dad. It's been my mom and myself.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I think faith helped a lot. That's an undeniable factor. I think faith helped a lot that's an undeniable factor Back in Nigeria. There's nothing like therapy. There was nothing like therapy. It was just that prayer, you know. Asking God, asking God to heal you, asking God, I want to be normal. You know, asking God, asking God to heal you, asking God, I want to be normal, I want to do what other people are doing. It's just that prayer. I think that was it. But I also had a good relationship with my mother. She had she was praying too a lot, you know, because it was just too much, I think.
Speaker 1:As a child I didn't. I was so dependent and I I didn't feel much. I felt the trauma as people made comments for, um, I had my mom, you know. I think more was as an adult, you know. You know, when I said that phase of being independent, not having any illness and going and doing what every other person is doing finishing uni, doing your NYSE, trying to get a job, leaving the country, you know. So it was just at that moving stage, you know, doing what your age mates were doing, until lupus now came, you know, and as I'll put it, life stopped. You know life stopped. So you move from a place where, at the stage in your life, you're meant to be the one caring for your mother, you know. So you know. Our African tradition is you finish your needs, you start working, you become financially responsible and start supporting your parents yeah yeah, but I couldn't.
Speaker 1:No, I wasn't physically able to um the. My kidneys were affected. So part of my symptoms were it affected my kidneys, my joints, my skin. I developed Raynaud's. My kidneys were the first.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:My kidneys were licking protein and they had to do so. I had a kidney biopsy. I was swollen. I was practically swollen. My feet couldn't fit into shoes. I had, and I'll have to elevate my feet. I had to reduce the fluid intake. You know, if you look at me then you would say I'd picked up on voodoo.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:You know, it was just unexplainable. I remember that when so when I had my son a few, I knew I was having a lot of pain, you know. But I didn't know what it was, because when I got back to England they couldn't do anything, so I kept. The main purpose why I came back to england was because of that phone call on the train how long did you stay in nigeria before you came back to england? Nigeria in april. I came back in July that's three months.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you are brave, you are the phone call that said you have to come. You still went to Nigeria. You did not just get there, you stayed three full months. What happened? When you don't worry, that's all like what was that? Because those phone calls you and I know they don't just make it because they want to joke. When they make it, they make it, they are serious. Yeah, I those phone calls you and I know they don't just make it because they want to joke. When they make it, they make it as serious.
Speaker 1:I was in my prime, you know that sense of I'll rough it out. What's the worst that can happen. I have a mission to go to this Nigeria. I had my mind made up, however, and I, and I think is also god. You know, sometimes in life you pray, you pray, you pray, you fast and pray for something. You pray, pray, pray, pray, and when god is not answering anything, he's not answering. He's answering that, but he's not giving you what you think, you to what you crave.
Speaker 1:You know yeah he knows that's not right for you, but he answers your prayer but, he gives you the best for you. Yeah. So, going to that night, I had my prayer intentions, but when my, when I became pregnant, I had to, let me say, small sense came into my head. Yeah, so that sense that came into my head, because now it was not just me, there was something else. So I had to now think, oh, there's someone else relying on me and I, no, no, no hard feelings.
Speaker 1:In Nigeria, I didn grateful that I had the option yeah so I had to take that option because at first I was like, oh, that's a big, you know, um, I'm young, I'm strong, I you know. But once I got pregnant, no, there was, there was, there was no plan b right I just knew and I just knew.
Speaker 1:Then the only plan was to come back to england and find out what is wrong with me, not to guess. Is it rheumatoid arthritis? Yeah, is it what? What it is you know? Is it typhoid? Is it malaria? Is it you know? Um, so that that that made me come back. So in that space of three months, um, I came back. I left everything. I got a job in nigeria. I left, I left everything, just came back. So, but when I came back, the doctors were were like they can't do anything until I have the baby, then they can now pursue what it is. That is wrong Because I also changed GPs. So before the GP could find out there was, they sent me a letter.
Speaker 1:So they, when the doctor called me, they actually referred me to a rheumatologist wasn't in the country. So all that? So they just said to me you know what? Have the baby? When you have the baby, we'll refer you back to the rheumatologist. Um, so that was. Yeah, that was just a quick.
Speaker 2:What is a rheumatologist?
Speaker 1:I like to simplify things so that everybody yeah, so they focus on rheumatic symptoms and musculoskeletal diseases, so those joint pains that we get, so things like internal organs. So most of the times they're the first point of call. So most of the times they're the first point of call and they now send you out to nephrologists, cardiologists, pedic surgeons. So with chronic illness sometimes they're the first point of call and you now get sent off. But they manage all those rheumatic symptoms that you have and all those skeletal issues that we have.
Speaker 2:Fantastic. Thank you so much. So they said they treat a wide range of conditions, including inflammatory degenerative disease, autoimmune disorder, metabolic bone disorder and all of those things. So for people that are listening, that's what it means, right? So your journey so far, knowing that you mimic a lot of things and you've been diagnosed with AIDS, now you're pregnant and they have to wait before they can start supporting you, and things like that what is your key message to anybody? Because I know you are doing a lot to draw awareness to this condition that a lot of people seem not to understand. And if you don't understand, then are you going to be able to support the person that's got this condition? And if you've got a condition, how are you going to be able to support yourself? Because one thing, one emotion that I know is even more destructive than any condition, is fear. When you are diagnosed with any condition and you become fearful, it is very, very possible that that fear can quicken your body to degenerate so fast. That is not even the condition that is at work now.
Speaker 2:So when you talk about your faith carrying you through, I really appreciate that, because I'm a believer. You are a believer in our faith. We live it in the hands of god. But bible also tell us that my people perish for lack of knowledge, for lack of wisdom. So it is very, very important. Even when you are praying, they say god, this is what has been diagnosed.
Speaker 2:I choose not to believe this report. But if you don't even know, your prayer can be disjointed because you don't even know. Your prayer can be disjointed Because you don't even know what you are praying for, god. Something is not right and you don't get that faith. Your faith is not stirred up. That's what I'm trying to say. Your faith is not stirred up.
Speaker 2:So it's very, very important that if you have any of these conditions, symptoms that she has mentioned, please go and see your GP. Where people have people afraid, we are telling you to pray, but please go and see your GP so that you can get this diagnosis and you know exactly what you are praying for Now. Moving forward, aija, what is the key message out there? Because I know your PhD is based on this, isn't it? That's a lot for you to invest your time, considering this condition can spread for any time and give you some challenges. What is the key message? To do that for people that are listening to this. What is the key messages that you want them to take from this and how they can be part of the survey that you're doing as well?
Speaker 1:Okay, so the key message with lupus? So there's this. So my study is based on what are the factors that enable people to flourish in lupus? So factors that would enable people to know if people are flourishing or languishing with lupus. It started from my own story. So for my thesis in the university, other people knew what they were doing. I had no clue what I would do. I would have just done anything just to do that thesis. But, as God would have it, he put when God's time, he positions you where he wants you to be. And even if because my memory is rubbish for lack of better words I forget a lot. So imagine someone that forgets a lot telling you that she's doing a PhD. That means, when grace is abound, anything is possible yes, yes um, patience.
Speaker 1:So what I drew from my studies, from from writing about my story from childhood and and I tell you, when my professor said to me, ej, what would you do when you graduate from counseling? And I said, yeah, I'll be a counselor, I'll be a therapist, have a simple life I was like I think you should do a PhD. I was like, what am I going to write in my PhD? What do I know?
Speaker 1:that I'm going to be doing. I actually went into my camp bursting into tears because I was like what you know? I don't know, um, that I just don't want to study again. I still do not want to study, no jokes, um. However, I drew that there was a process. Yeah, so from my story, there was a process of pain Lupus is pain.
Speaker 1:There was a process of finding that spot to accept, and I'll talk a bit about that acceptance when I link it to some things about my study, what I've also found, and I'll mention to anyone listening. This is my personal process. So an acceptance is a point you arrive at. You don't force it, you arrive at it. You arrive at that space where you feel like, what do I fight? I'm not pushing, I need to adapt to this. So when you accept, your level of acceptance determines how you adapt. Mind you, I'm saying that this is my process and by adapting, you see other viewpoints, you see other perspectives. You see, if you look at the light behind my background, you can see how the lights are going and, trust me, I I'm just looking at it now and it's just making sense to me to explain what I'm talking about. You can see, the array of light comes from darkness.
Speaker 1:So let's say pain was darkness yeah and it adapts to the atmosphere and you can now see how beautiful it is. So when you adapt, it enables you see growth. It enables you see the little you can do to make that step in front of the other to grow, so your paths change. If you see that light is the northern light, see when it moves apart yeah.
Speaker 1:I never thought that I would be a therapist. I had other dreams and life. I think in every phase in your life you have dreams, you have different dreams, you come and you have different dreams. But when lupus came, lupus stopped me. I paused and I felt like it was over. So in a sense, you feel like you just stamped and and it said there was nothing else. It felt like what, what else is there for me? Yeah, there are days I can't get out of bed. There are days I'm in so much agony um, I can't. My mom has to do everything for me, literally everything.
Speaker 1:I'm in and out of hospital. I will either have a blood infection and my whole legs are red, like literally red, and I'll be having antibiotics. My fingers are breaking up and force I can't use. I can't use them. I I'm going for joints.
Speaker 1:I've had surgeries in both knees and both ankles at the same time because of an effect of my medications steroids and you have a degenerative knee issue. So now I have a degenerative knee issue, my right knee, my kneecap is gone, so and there's nothing. I can't have a knee replacement because I'm too young, so every time my bones are loosened, it will be cleaned up. It will continue being cleaned up until there's nothing left and I'll have a knee replacement. So you live with that. However, there is a purifying part of pain I have seen. It's not just the pain, yes, the pain. I had to learn to accept it. I had to learn to adapt. And I had to learn to adapt, yeah, and I had to see life beyond it. Hmm, seeing life beyond it. As a therapist, I talk to clients and I say it's not the big picture that matters.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's the small dreams, it's the small changes. So by adapting. If I'm unable to walk today, then I accept that I need to walk with my walking stick. That means I'm able to move. If I don't accept it, I'll stay in bed and say I reject this walking stick. It's not for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:However, when I adapt, it makes me see that there's something else that I might do that wasn't in my plan before.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So lupus made me sit at home, it made me go to church more often and it made me see that, you know, in my church there were just old people working, there were no young people doing anything in church. There were no young people doing anything in church If I was in a fast pace. So God positions you where he wants you, even when you're incapable, when you feel physically incapable he puts his capability into you to make you move.
Speaker 1:So I noticed that in church and I said you know what, why not start a youth? Mind you, I have infusions, I have treatments, I have all that. It's up be in bed, but on that day of youth group, I will get up and I will drive to church and I'll do my youth group and I'll come back and I'll lay in bed. God gave me that strength, but that would never have been in my radar if lupus hadn't come. And also in that period I had issues with. So like, because of lupus I couldn't work, so my mom had to apply for me to stay, so I had to be under herupus. I couldn't work, so my mom had to apply for me to stay, so I had to be under her, and that application wasn't easy, so I had rejections, I had to go to court, so that on its own caused other issues. So the thing with chronic illness too. So I talked about ACEs at the beginning.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, aijie, before you start, aces for all those that are listening is Adverse Childhood Experiences.
Speaker 1:Okay. So your environmental factors, too, can impact the disease, can exacerbate your disease. So at that point I just had a child. I was dealing with immigration am I in, am I out? So all that mentally just gets everything in you working at an autopilot stage. So it was not just the stress of my kidneys failing or my joints, it was also the stress of what is my immigration status and all that. I can't go to nigeria, it's a no-no, it's a debt penalty. You know all those, all those things. It exacerbates that.
Speaker 1:However, even in that, there was something to look forward to, which is that youth group. I wasn't paid, but it was something to look forward to. It was something that I was, but it was God that put it there. So I grew from there. I changed from. I what did I want to do? To be a HR consultant. I changed and started working with young people. That's it Changed. My CV changed from wanting to do HR to working with young people, and I had no job. So that was the only thing I did, but I started. I now looked into volunteering. When my immigration thing was sorted, I now started volunteering at a youth group. So you can see a change in faith.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:But that wouldn't have been possible. You know, and I would also remind people I I am saying this is my story what the the moral behind this is that even in that dark place that you're in, yes, you're like a potato that is focusing towards the light, that that is looking to shoot out. You know, when we do a person-centered approach, there is also, there is something within you that is looking for the light outside. Maybe circumstances are not allowing you to do it then, but don't feel that that's it well it's not the part you were in, but there's something else growing out and that's the growth.
Speaker 1:So my, my process is that process of pain accepting that I have pain. It's not going, yeah, it's not going anywhere. I can accept this journey and accept I'm tired. Accept this journey and accept I'm tired. Accept that I lack sleep, accept that sometimes I forget, and I do forget, even remind the people around me that, even though I soldier on when I have the energy, when I'm spent, I'm spent. I cannot do anything. So adapt to the fact that I need my working aid in handy places just in case anything happens, because something that you mentioned is lupus, is very unpredictable. So today I can, now I can be sitting here talking to you, and the next minute I want to stand on my knee locks and I cannot stand.
Speaker 2:It's very unpredictable.
Speaker 1:It is very unpredictable and wake up. So sometimes I tell people you wake up with a full battery you think you've woken up with Before it's 10. You are on 15%.
Speaker 2:Wow. So, aja, from what I'm saying here, you've allowed yourself to be very vulnerable in this place. I was discussing with my husband today that with vulnerability, we ought to be very, very careful. Vulnerability is very powerful. However, before you choose to be vulnerable, check in with yourself. What is the motive? What I hear you say now is your motive for doing this.
Speaker 2:Doing all the research you're doing is to help other people going on this journey with your story, to draw awareness to this disease and let people know that, yes, it's there, and, especially as a woman of faith that you are, you are praying. But while you are waiting, there's a choice between flourishing and languishing. Now, both of them are a state. Flourishing is a state whereby you have chosen to concentrate on the positive, and those things will then enhance your psychological well-being, and those things will then enhance your psychological well-being. Language is when you focus on the negative and whereby the pains overwhelms you. And because it overwhelms you, it's very easy to slip languishly into suffering, because, according to Corey Keels, who is a very good researcher on this area, languishing is just, it's a suffering. You're running away from the pain. The pain is chasing you. You are running, the pain is chasing you and that's a local deplete your energy.
Speaker 2:But with your case, I don't want this to get construed. When people like are like she's a woman of faith, why is she not praying? Why is she accepting? No, she didn't say she's accepting the disease, but she's accepting to carry on with her life regardless of lupus. You are not going to allow lupus to stop you, because you said something before that when lupus happened, your life stopped.
Speaker 2:But now you have decided that your choices, you are going to flourish and you are reflecting with the choices that you are making, giving yourself grace that certain days I may not be able to do that, but because of the choices that you are making, you said something very profound that on the days that you were doing the youth, you will find the energy.
Speaker 2:It's like a purpose, and god is giving you that energy to to push you forward, to keep doing it, because now it is beyond yourself and that's part of a key element of well-being, of the five keys of well-being, isn't it given this time you are giving your knowledge, you are giving your time, you are giving your resources because you are sharing your story, you are letting people know about information. Now the youth may not have lupus, they may have everyone and any other condition, but you are giving yourself to support them, regardless of what you are going through, and that itself is energizing you to carry on. But even though you are doing those things, there are days that you can't. You are spent. You are spent. You are still going to choose, you are still going to. So that is the state of that acceptance and that's so beautifully put. I really like it's so empowering.
Speaker 1:That acceptance is not acceptance of the condition, is acceptance of your life is still going on regardless and I also add acceptance of the condition, because I've had talks with people and they say, no, I cannot accept it. It's not me, you know, but personally I think I've accepted lupus as a condition and I'm living with it. But I've accepted it in the sense that, like in counseling, when you talk about speaking to your inner child and befriending yourself, so it's part of of my work, when, when I work with people and I talk to them about befriending yourself if I
Speaker 1:reject myself, see that the space of self-compassion is left out, because that space within me that I'm rejecting is that space that needs compassion to know that it's okay to be tired, it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to cry. You know, we can do this together when you sit through your pain. If we rush out of pain, you always come back, but when we sit through it we would find that strength to like start healing. So life is a maze. We go through life. You know the ups and downs of life. You go today. It's hitch free, tomorrow is not. So me accepting that. You know what? I do have lupus. So when I have conversations with people and I say, oh, and something happens, I don't mention it until something happens and I say, yes, I have this condition that is lupus, and they look at you. So they look at you and you're fine.
Speaker 2:It doesn't show on the face Because I've spoken to you several times. If I was not told by your research, I would never know it doesn't show.
Speaker 1:In Nigeria they say you know, they show for face.
Speaker 2:I just spoke Fijian English.
Speaker 1:Say it again and that's where we get misunderstood and people get tagged as lazy. Wow, you know she doesn't want to work. She's lazy, you know, because even as a child, when you see me, you think nothing is wrong with me and that's why people will say you want to kill your mother.
Speaker 2:Do you think they thought you were doing it for attention? Yeah, and that's why people will say you want to kill your mother.
Speaker 1:Do you think they thought you were doing it for attention? Yeah, sometimes she's an only child, she's a small child, you know all that, you know. Or she's possessed yeah, I got that Possessed by the devil. You know she needs deliverance. You know All that. But thank God for faith. My mom's faith is very strong, like she.
Speaker 1:Never we can be mistaken as lazy, not wanting to do anything, you know, always complaining. But when your body says no, you know you can only put a foot forward when your body sits right, when you listen to your body and and that's with every other thing, that's not just lupus. When you talked about sitting with emotions and and assessing your those emotions and not excluding oh this emotions is beyond me. No, no, emotion is beyond us. That's why I said sit with your pain. I think Gabor Matei talked about sitting with pain. We want to run away from pain all the time, you know. But before gold is brought out, it passes through fire, it is purified through fire, and I always picture that as that pain. I picture pain as like when, when I talk about the process of pain, acceptance, adaptation and growth, like a dance is. It's not smooth, you know. You go through that rigmarole and you always come back to a place where you feel like, why me? I also do that, I, I still. I still do that.
Speaker 1:There's a day I struggle so much with sleep that one morning I woke up, especially during school time. I I woke up, went into my son's room to pray with him. I was so tired, my body was in agony and we were praying and I started weeping and my son was like mommy, are you crying? And you know when I couldn't hold back the tears and I said I'm so tired my body's been and I was in tears. That was me, sitting with that pain. So I still have it till today.
Speaker 1:You know, I can be strong, I can be weak, and the our humanity is that it's hard. But it's also simple to know that we're adaptable, we're not boxed, we're not labeled. So there's this book I read the power of lettingting Go is John Perkins and he talked about that, accepting that we can be this, I can be confident. Now I can also be very shy. You know, and that's the importance of introducing me to me, befriending me, and that's why I say acceptance is where we arrive if I befriend myself and, like my vulnerable self, needs that comfort. That young child in me needs that someone to sit by and say you do not want to kill your mum.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a strong statement. I don't understand how someone would think about that and then have the audacity to just spit it out Disgusting, very unempathetic. I don't know if that was their motive, but that ain't good to say it out. Whatever the motive was, I turn again to tribe authenticity. You know, a lot of us feel we have to wait until something happens before we become reactive. But with this podcast I'm trying to give you information that will make you proactive, so you don't even have anything to react to in the end because you are looking after yourself properly.
Speaker 2:So what are you waiting for? If you have been listening, please like, share, comment on anything that resonates with you. This will help to drive our visibility. And also, if there is any other topic that we have discussed that has been a trigger or that you feel you need support with, please visit wwwasebconsultancycom. There is a 15-minute free consultation link that you can click on right there and book to speak to one of our counselors. Thank you so much for helping to drive visibility to this platform. And also, if you have been listening on Apple, spotify, Audible and every other podcast platform there, please follow us and keep sharing. Keep sharing, please, thank you. Thank you so much. Back to the program now. Bye.
Speaker 2:There's a question I want to ask, since we are both so out of faith. A lot of people are like I would never, even myself included. I would never accept a condition because if I do, it means I'm losing my faith. So I know the condition is there. I'll live with it in the waiting season until you get healed. However, I'm not going to accept it. Do you think that? Can you speak to that the place? Between having faith, what is the difference? Because with faith. It's the evidence of things not seen. It's things hoped for, and hope is part of positive psychology, isn't it? You've not seen it, but you're hoping. It's a strength on its own. Now, does it contradict acceptance? Does acceptance contradict our faith? Can you speak to that? Because it's a bit contradictory. Even myself, I'm like does acceptance contradict our faith? Can you speak to that? Because it's a bit contradictory. Even myself, I'm like it just came out for me.
Speaker 1:I didn't even realize that before. Okay, let me start with the fact that, okay, so I'm Catholic, yeah, and we have these principles of the cross. You know where they said there is no crown without a cross. Yes, so I think what my mom also I learned as I was growing up is my mom would always say don't let your suffering go to waste, offer it up as a prayer.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:So when I'm like crying, oh my stomach, it's like be offering it up. Be offering it up, yeah. So she said accept it as a cross. So my mom will always say that my illness brought her closer to god. Yeah, and and we say and I know we have this mantra in nigerian people say it's not my portion it's not my portion.
Speaker 1:they say whose portion is it? And when you talk about faith and acceptance, if we go to the Bible and talk about Apostle Paul, he said that God left a thorn in his flesh to cover us from pride. God leaves something. If Christ didn't accept the cross, we would not have salvation. Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. He doesn't give us the cross and leave us. So this is now like we're talking about faith and even beyond lupus. Yeah, we go through challenges that we do not accept. Okay, let me put it this way if you say I will not accept this, how about someone that has a severely disabled child? Would you say do not accept, it is not your portion, hi that that hits home, that hit home.
Speaker 2:So, regardless of the condition, accepting it does not mean you are happy that the condition is ongoing. It helps you to cope better Because you are right, you are not going to reject your child because of their condition. So you have to come to a place of acceptance, so you'll be able to be Protected towards that child, so I'll be able to care for that child. Don't see them as a burden, as a different world.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's always that. And the truth is, our acceptance is always questioned. So there's always. And the truth is, our acceptance is always questioned, so there's always. You accept something. Okay, yes, I've accepted my lupus and all of a sudden, maybe I'll be going on normally walking, you know, not needing anything. Then something hits me, you know, and I'm incapacitated. Then I'm like why? You know, I thought I've gone through this, I thought I would not be going through this again. I thought I'm strong enough. So our acceptance is so like in, it's not how many times we fall or how many times we get up, but the beauty of our faith is that we're never alone. So you know the story of the footprints in the sand. Yeah, yes, yes, yes. You walk and and you think, oh, it's my football lord, where are you? I've been walking, and he says, no, it's mine. You, it's my football Lord, where are you? I've been walking, and he says no, it's mine you know it's my footprint.
Speaker 1:So what faith does is that faith enables us, gives us that hope that you're not alone, that even in the darkest of times, that it feels like why me? And I feel that till today, like Lord, why me? And I feel that to say like jord, why me? You know, I'm tired, like that I I think my son is used to that word I'm tired, but what faith does is that faith enables us to have that, that Christ is with us, that he's not left us, that you're not alone. And it's also good to have family.
Speaker 1:So I would say my faith is because my mom had faith first, because my mom had faith first and she inculcated that faith, you know, and in my down times I prayed because I learned how to pray with her, From her, I remember, as a child, because my mom would pray and she feels the prayer and I was like I want to feel the way she feels the prayer and I was like I'm not feeling despair, I want to feel the way she feels, you know. But at this point I feel that now, you know, feeling that there's some times when I pray, I was telling my mom that like I'll wake up and I can't sleep and I'll be praying, that like I'll wake up and I can't sleep and I'll be praying, and I felt that like I would pray my rosary, and I felt it. It felt like it's telling things from my body, like things were just leaving Wow, and it's that state of mind of surety that there's someone above you, yes, holding you. So when we talk about the transformative nature of pain, it's that it helps you transcend to a space where you know that I know I'm in pain but I'm not alone. And I say this with all sincerity. I still go to counseling. So people should not think oh Faith, I go to my hospital appointment, I go for counseling sessions.
Speaker 1:You know it's a whole package and I think and I say this when we talk about flourishing and recovery my recovery came with the fact that I have the medical help. So my healing is not an absence of lupus, my healing is the fact. So I would say the factors that enabled my flourishing is that I have the medical help I need, I have my family, that I have the medical help I need, I have my family and I have faith. If I did not have the medical needs like people I've interviewed struggling with finances to get medication, like how do I expect them to say I'm flourishing? So you know, when we talk about the Abraham Maslow's law of hierarchy those physiological needs.
Speaker 1:How do we expect the awareness, like sort of this friend of mine that will come and talk? The awareness is people to understand what people face, Like in Nigeria. People think it's malaria, malaria, but there are people that are going through. You treat malaria and it's not working. People have lost marriages, People are called witches, People you know all those things but they're just suffering People. You know all those things, but they're just suffering. The awareness is if there's an ability to have, like, a medical facility that people could have access to those medications that can help them breathe. Yeah, To be able to say, okay, I can do this job or I can do that, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:I can do this job or I can do that. You know, yeah, if not that my immigration things got sorted and I started my studies and a bit of stability started coming, my body would not have been able to cope because it was falling apart on different fronts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what you're saying here now I'll just quickly summarize. You've talked about the reason you are doing this to help other people, you know, get awareness about lupus, to share your story on how you are coping. I know you said this is your personal coping strategy, but I really do think it can be adopted, you know, adapted into anybody's life. So, for example, have a great support system. Your support system could be anybody that you trust, right, that will be there for you when you need help. Because you said there are days that you can't really do anything and what do you do? So you need your support system, because nobody's an island. You've also talked about because for you, your mom, your, your, your son, have a purpose, have a purpose bigger than yourself, like those youth group we're talking about the people you are counseling. That does that's a purpose, right? Uh, you're just talking about your faith and in your faith, please don't start saying I will not serve god in god, because it's not, it's not unsubmissive. I just give you so many examples today to let you know that we all have one waiting season or the other. No matter how desperate you are waiting for a child when you're pregnant, you still have to wait nine months. So be patient with god, it will come true. I love the fact when you say there are days you cannot pray and then you just do your rosary prayers and you can feel this dispersion of you. So some healings can be miraculous, just bomb. Some of them might take time.
Speaker 2:There are so many times you've said in different ways today, but that message keeps coming back. Certain times you go through certain things for a reason and you said this thing has changed the trajectory of your life. There are certain things you wouldn't have thought about doing as a result of this condition. It has transformed your complete outlook of life and the things that you're doing. So in a way, I would say you are in alignment with your purpose because you are doing the things that you're changing life every day. Right.
Speaker 2:And you've also mentioned as well medical support is so important. Our faith is important. Responsible men of God, women of God, will still tell you why you're waiting for your miracle. Still take your medication until you get it all clear, right. So the medical support you are not going to deny that, father. They've been valuable.
Speaker 2:And let's not um, let's not belittle the medical support, because it is still God that gave them the wisdom. So God gave them that wisdom to also develop all these things and give the support. So God give them that wisdom to also develop all these things and give the support. So let it stick, god, that's what I will say. If I pray to God to heal me and I still go through the knife, I will still thank God, because you and I cannot take a knife and cut a human being. We will not be able to even cut, let alone even stitch the person back. So for someone to be able to do that because they've gone to school to get a strong knowledge, it is still god. That's all. That's the way I see it. So those are the things that you said have helped you in the journey.
Speaker 2:And then your mindset. Ij, I know you've not used that word, mindset, but your mindset it seems you've worked on it over the years, because for you to be able to get to that level of acceptance that you were talking about today, differentiate it from your fate, that both of them can coincide. Acceptance is not the absence of fate. I learned that from you today and I really want to thank you for that, and I hope people will catch that as well, right, both of them can coincide. It is possible for them to coincide in a way they actually able to help you in the waiting season, right? So that myth about saying they accept that it's not, we're not saying we are not happy with it, we're just saying, you know, for you to be able to wait. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Hygiene thank you your research for people to get involved in this research, because I really think it's a great cause, and the nigerian one you were saying is that things that people can go for me, where people can send money to you know that people can share if they want to raise aid for people that do not have access to this medical support, not because they don't want it, but because they cannot afford it. Is there a goal for me? Your survey, I'm going to drop it. Please just tell us so that we'll know how to support this course well, um, my survey, you drop it um, assesses, and it's for people.
Speaker 1:So if you have lupus, um, um, please do this survey. It's measures. It talks about pain, acceptance, so all the things I've talked about acceptance, adaptation, growth, and it also talks about there's this time, so it's called connectedness, identity, meaning hope and empowerment. So it gets all that. My purpose for that is to find out what are the factors that enable people to flourish. Are people flourishing even despite their lupus? Or are they languishing despite their lupus? And, as you said, that mindset and saying what can we do? What is the fact? What do they need?
Speaker 1:So, like people in nigeria, the theme there is medical help. If we get that medical help, so that they have subsidized payment of their medication, things will be better, families will be together, people are not rejected, you know um, so that is key here. People will tell you about psychological support and maybe they tell you you have lupus and that's it, um, you don't have the psychological support that you get. And and still, here in this country, people suffer with the fact that it's hard to diagnose. So they're back and forth. How many times that they've been told no, you don't have lupus, and they're struggling, you know um. So those are the things where we find. How do we support? So how do we help people? How do we ask for aid, like in Nigeria? Here we don't have the problem of medications.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We don't have the problem of medications here. What we'll be talking about, because at first instance I was talking about what's the psychological intervention that we can form to where you put together with mindfulness, you, you check people on positive introduction, you talk about character strength and if we can put that together and get an intervention program maybe and do a trial and see how it works for people. But when I now started and talking to people, like in nigeria and trust me, when I started this, I did not have any communications with people in Nigeria, it just happened. Yeah, it now opened the whole world. But before you do interventions, she needs to have basics yeah so I have this friend which will she'll come up.
Speaker 1:She she runs a foundation called the mabel v foundation and what she's doing is to raise awareness in nigeria to see if we can get um medical help for people with lupus so that they can get subsidized. You know when, like the back houses, if they have three, eight, three medications, people with hiv that get free medications. Yes, if that is available. I was interviewing someone and she said they couldn't even get medical insurance because they had lupus. They had to sign it on that triad because they felt that people with lupus that you would really do get to need that medical insurance at the end of the day. And it's not just that, even here, if you say you have certain medical you they would have to, they'll say, oh, they don't cover it.
Speaker 1:I had to go through lots, go through several insurance before I got my own life insurance. So you, you, you can see how it is. So with that mabel v and when she comes she will talk more about the foundation it's getting aid, seeing if we can get vice medications for people. So she did an awareness back in Nigeria in May where she bought medications for people and put them in boxes and gave to people. She has a WhatsApp group where, once in a while, she gives out medications like vice, medications like hydroxychloroquine, those basic medications that people need, and she gives out. And she needs funds because 99% of the funds that she's using she's using her own funds too.
Speaker 2:So, ij, with all this stigmatization from, I'm sure, families that don't understand, because once they know that, from, I'm sure, families that don't understand, because what people don't understand they tend to stigmatize, for you to go and get knowledge and awareness about that. You stigmatize what you don't know based on various myths that is flying around. So stigmatization from even medical personnel, insurance company and me, it's just not on. So, with she using her phone, is it possible for her to send a GoFundMe phone where I think so, was she using that phone? Is it possible?
Speaker 1:for her to say hey, go fund me a phone. I think she's in a better position to talk about that.
Speaker 2:I can't wait to have her on. I can't wait to have her on.
Speaker 1:She's in a better position to talk about that, but it's something that is dearly needed because so many times, so many people will call her. I interviewed someone that is doing dialysis. She had kidney um transplant and it failed. She's waiting for the kidney transplant in nigeria and it's costing a lot. Her husband is threatening to divorce her in that state. You know um a few people that are having that dialysis. People have lost their lives because it's it's deadly. You can't lose your life. That's the truth. You can't lose your life with it. So, doing that and getting fun, trying to raise funds for people, um, I think, um she, she set up. I'll ask her because this lady that is looking for kidney transplant is very, very important. They're trying to raise funds for her to get this kidney transplant and if we can put it up there for people to help raise funds for her, it would be really really if I send the link so we can add it to the description box.
Speaker 2:I would send the link so we can add it to the description box.
Speaker 1:I will send the link. Mabu VB Foundation. She's doing an incredibly role. Trying to get the Ministry of Health to help out with people in Nigeria to get subsidised medications is life saving. I tell you, if I say healing that I say that healing is not that I do not have, it's just that I don't have a headache to to get my medications yeah, thank you so much, ij.
Speaker 2:Um, we are planning on bringing a friend and if you have any question, ij is going to come back. She's kindly willing to come back. If you have any question about lupus and how you can support as well, please send your questions to this email. The email is going to be showing on the screen. Send your questions, then I'm going to organize with them and they will come around where we are. They're going to just answer the questions.
Speaker 2:Um, on the podcast again for people to know better, please kindly share this podcast to someone that you love. Don't just listen and then leave it. Please like as well. Like, share on your status on whatsapp, your social media, and one thing I've noticed is things that does not help us tend to trend a lot down steps and likes. These are things that could save a life. Please share with your friends. Share on your status. Support where we share the link is so, so important.
Speaker 2:I believe in practical approaches to support people, not just talk, talk, talk about it, do bit. We can't wait for the government to do this. If you and I and other people around us begin to make those leaders support, we could just help one person at a time, while we are waiting for the leaders to also do their own bit as well. So we don't just cast blame and just leave things aside. Ij, I really want to thank you for your time today. I really, really want to thank you. Ij, I really want to thank you for your time today. I really really want to thank you. I really appreciate this. I have a question for all my guests, right, what are the things that you do to promote, you know, protect and preserve your inner harmony, you know, so that you can live authentically and thrive?
Speaker 1:Ah, ah, ah, and try, I think, one thing I've learned to do. I see people that are very energetic and I'm like, oh, I wish that I had that energy. I think I found peace in subtlety, you know, and accepting, I think, is just one thing I just accept each day. I think, it's just one thing I just accept each day. Try to be grateful for the day I am up, you know, I sit with myself, so wake up, do my prayer before I get up, you know, and just take each day as it comes.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Put one foot in front of the other and sometimes I'm really low, I struggle really badly, but when I'm happy, I'm happy, I laugh I know you do.
Speaker 1:We've had good love I enjoy my food as in being being my authentic self, just being me, and I say in a sense, just befriending myself every, every part out me. You know, knowing that there's sometimes a few, you're not enough, but those times when common sense comes in, it'll be like you know what, just deal. And I think, above all, I have a very supportive network. God has, in his own miraculous way, positioned me to have people, not a lot of people, but those people that they matter, they care. When I talk about my mom or my supervisor, god has been authentic with me.
Speaker 1:Let me just wow, I love that so, um, it's just, you know, when I I do not have the energy to struggle, I just submit. And in his infinite way, he just carries me and he just, you're just moving and you're wondering, are they moving, are they moving? But it's just subtle, but it just Just keeps going. You know, and that's just when I am today. I never knew I would be me. Where I'll be tomorrow, I have no clue, but we just keep going. I succumb to my tiredness. I think that's one thing I'm authentic with. I succumb to my tiredness and no crane will pull me out of it until it dispels it. So, but yeah, just be real, just laugh, enjoy every moment that needs to be enjoyed and just be happy. You know, when you can't accept that you can't wow thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much thank you very very much for your generosity, for your vulnerability. I know this will touch a lot of people and those people that have been stigmatized as well with it. You're not alone. We are with you on this and IJ and her friends and her network. They are doing all they can to also draw more publicity to these raise funds and do as much as they can. So we just need more people to join on this journey and share as well. That will be you supporting. Thank you so much once again, and until I come your way again on Authentic Podcast driving, authentic Drive Podcast, I can't even get my words out. I remain your host. Abia Sonia, keep driving, keep living authentically and remember God has authentically created you. Okay, stay blessed and take care. Bye for now. Like, like, like, like.