Authentic Thriving Podcast

Collaboration & Calm: The Hilda Baci Formula

• Abies Sonia

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Collaboration doesn’t fail because people don’t care; it fails because fear, vague promises, and power games crush trust long before the work begins. Today we unpack a cleaner, calmer way to partner grounded in a real-world case: Chef Hilda Bassi’s record-setting jollof cook and the brand partnership that helped turn a massive vision into measured, shared success. We start by naming the hard stuff many of us see every day: client poaching, secret deals, greed, poor documentation, and the quiet power plays that reduce a peer to “Head of Graphics” inside someone else’s narrative. From there, we flip the script. We break collaboration into parts you can design: a shared vision that everyone truly buys into, roles with owners (not volunteers), written agreements that protect relationships, and a simple communication rhythm that keeps decisions visible and expectations clear. You’ll hear how reliability gas delivered, pots cleaned, ingredients sourced, media prepped—turns from a nice idea into the backbone of execution, and why one missed promise can stall an entire chain.
Trust and transparency sit at the core. We show how values fit matters more than big-name allure, how to admit limits without losing credibility, and how to build contingency so inevitable problems don’t derail the outcome. Structure transforms passion into repeatability: run-of-show, risk plans, approvals, compliance, and a respectful language policy that honours each business as a business. And because humans do the work, we make room for joy—humour, music, and small rituals that protect energy during long pushes—plus honest conversations that defuse tension before it hardens into suspicion. 

If you’re ready to make collaboration a growth strategy rather than a gamble, this conversation offers a practical blueprint you can use on your next partnership. Subscribe for more thoughtful, human-centred tools, share this episode with someone who needs a better way to partner, and leave a review with your biggest collaboration lesson—we’ll feature the best stories next week.

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SPEAKER_00:

This book is available on Amazon and also on my website, www.aseultancy.com. On this podcast, we talk about our mental and emotional well-being and also our holistic well-being in order for us to drive authentically. This is a safe space for you to speak about soulful truth and talk about the things that will help you to come back to yourself and regain your self-awareness. Welcome to the authentic podcast once again. We've all recently witnessed um Ida Basse winning another Guinness World Book of Record. Again, she's one of the biggest jellyfries cooked and served. And we're all sharing our own. But I'm one of those people that when I see people are successful or good at what they do, I try to study them to see what is it about this person that makes this person, you know, succeed not once, but over and over again. Considering in a world that we live in right now, whereby, especially in the diaspora, because I do admire what people enjoy back home. I'm not saying this um what I'm going to discuss today does not happen back home or in any part of the world, but I'm just saying that from my observation, based on what I see in diaspora, I notice that a lot of people do not want to collaborate. They do not want to collaborate in business with their fellow um Africans because of betrayal. You see a situation whereby people start a business together or people partner their businesses together. At the end of the day, one person will be doing secret deals with other with a client, or maybe collecting the other person's client and serving them solely when the collaboration solely declares that they are supposed to work together with that client. But in order for them to have more money or take more money than the person they've collaborated with, they will do secret deals behind their back. So that betrayal is also very, very painful. There is also the greed as well, whereby people are fighting over money when the money that they both work together arrive. You see, this person is now fighting the partner over the money. And as a result of that, people do not want to have any messy association or relationship with people. So they stay well away from collaboration, even when the collaboration will benefit both parties, but because of the drama that might start, they stay away from it. There's the other reason where people um do not trust one another, they are suspicious that this person will keep secret from them because of past experiences. So they kind of stay well away from anything partnership or anything collaboration, even when their businesses complement one another, but because of previous trust issues, they don't want to do that. There's also the issues of poor documentation. People, their friends, and before you know it, they go into collaboration because their business complements one another. However, there was no documentation to this. They do what we call gentleman's agreements. And these agreements so go out because it was a verbal agreement, and this is not acceptable in the court. You need something written down, you need a date, you need signatures, so that when this case do when the when the um the genuine reasons initially do not materialize, then you can have your evidence that we do have documentation. But when there's poor documentation, then there is issues. Now we also have the reason whereby we have this cultural tension. We know that they do racism, or because I'm black and you're white, or because I'm this race and you're that race, and they will feel uh people segregating us. However, there's also what we call tribalism as well, or people do not want to do business with Nigerians, Nigerians know how to do business with Zimbabwe, or even Nigerians don't know how to do business is with themselves because you believe that certain tribe is not trustworthy because of previous business association, and then you see that this cultural tension will make you feel like no, I don't want to do this, I don't want to collaborate with this person. People might say, Oh, Sonia, that's a dated. Believe me, it is not a dated, it is still very much in place and ruiny collaboration. Now, there's also the power struggle. I've heard of a story whereby someone collaborated, two businesses collaborated. However, when the other business wants to talk to the client about the person that the other business that they collaborated with, it will put them under his company. So, for example, you might say, This person is a um, I will let the head of our graphics know about what you're saying. No, this person is not head of your graphics, this person is a business owner owner, a graphics business owner, and you have your own business. So when it's having a conversation with the client, you will say, Don't worry, I will let our head of graphics know about it. And this person gets to find out that they are being described as head of graphics in their in the other company. So you're trying to not swallow this company, make it look as if this person is the head. Mewa is actually the owner of a graphic company, right? So, in a way, we have to start thinking of the terminologies, terminologies that we use when you are collaborating with other people. You do not call them your staff. If two businesses collaborate, treat each other as businesses, don't treat one business as if they are working, treat the person as if this the person is working under you. It is wrong to do that. It is not right. Just because your company is bigger doesn't mean you should call another business owner as head of department under your own company. It is wrong. Such things, our our words, our terminologies, the way we phrase our words is the reason why people do not want to go into collaboration. Because you want to be known as the boss. So you want to present yourself as a person that has hired this person. Meanwhile, you've not hired them, they are actually a business owner in their own right who is working in collaboration with you. Why can't you just present things in a way, in a factual way, so that nobody feels swallowed, nobody feels belitured. Now, there's also the poor communication whereby um if you collaborate, for example, with A, A is expecting that A is supposed to do this task, B is expecting that B is supposed to also do the same task. So you are both expecting that this person would do this particular task that will move your collaboration ahead. At the end of the day, at the end of the day, nobody is doing the task that is supposed to do. So lack of clear communication or poor communication or poor understanding of what has been communicated is another reason why people do not get into collaboration. Then there is also the aspect of burnout, whereby one person is doing the buckload of the collaboration, and then the other person is just taking the glory for it. You are enjoying the benefit of the collaboration, but you are not pulling your weight. This can be frustrating, this can bring up a whole lot of roller coaster of emotion, and you start wondering why did I even bother to get into this? Because as if I'm working on my own. But yet, when the reward or the benefits start coming in, then you start sharing. This person is the first person to share on their status, share on their business page, share on their social media that they've been awarded this project. Meanwhile, one person did all the work. Such collaboration will not be sustainable. It is going to break. There is this aspect of jealousy as well, where people, they are because of jealousy, envy, they start competing with the person they are supposed to be collaborating with. You are collaborating with someone, but it looks as if it's a competition. That will break any collaboration. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter if you have the documentation, it doesn't matter how long that collaboration has been going, it is not going to be sustainable in the near future. It is going to break. So these are some of the reasons that I feel that people do not want to collaborate. What are the reasons that you have not been collaborating? What are the reasons that scare you when people come to you with ideas of collaboration? I would really like to see you drop it in the comment session because I want to start making this podcast more interactive. I notice that there are more people that are listening to it. However, there are people, there are very few people that are commenting. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for sharing valuable insight and also sharing from your wealth of wisdom. Now, back to Ida Basi. I want to just quickly break it down. The reason I feel the partnership with Gino, the Tomato Pure company, why it was successful. Now, I know that Ida who owned the vision, right? She's a chef. Gino is not a chef. I know she's the one that owned the vision. The vision to cook the largest pot of joloff rice and then serve it to people. It must not be wasted. That was some of the the the um the criteria for her to be able to get that Guinness Book of Record. Now, when you are in collaboration, you are supposed to take ownership of it. Now, when I mean ownership, I mean both parties would take ownership of that collaboration. So Ilda, she took ownership of the vision and then shared it with Gino. I'm sure Gino bought into it. But each of them took ownership of their responsibility. Because there were loads of responsibility to pull that and make it a success. Eda, I'm sure, took part, took um full responsibility for preparing the recipe in order to ensure that the rice look like jellyf rice and not putty at the end of the day. So each person should take responsibility, take ownership of their of their task. So she took responsibility of the recipe, of getting sourcing out the ingredients, of getting um the all the things that she will need. So the onions, the tomatoes, the rice, to ensure that it is washed and everything, pulling a team together of other chefs and other people that she know will be reliable. Now, Gina, on the other hand, probably took responsibility of the logistics, of the branding, of the supply of their purity as well, and also maybe some of the money as well, the financial aspect of it. They will come to a mutual agreement in order to do that. Now, if you must go into partnership lenders, each person knows your role and take ownership of it. It's not just about showing up, it's about building responsibility and accountability. So you need to ensure that you define it in writing. What are you doing? Are you doing the product development? Are you doing the marketing? Are you doing the distribution? Are you doing the financing? So all the things that is required to make your collaboration a success. It doesn't matter how close you are in friendship or in relationship, whether it's your brother or your sister or your best friend or your husband or your wife, it doesn't matter. You must know all that is required, all the tasks that is required, and then split, allocate each task to each person, and each person should take ownership of it. It is so important that you take ownership of each of the tasks in the collaboration. Now, we're talking about reliability. You have to be dependable, you have to be very, very dependable. So imagine if Gino has provided everything, everything that is needed from our own side. And on that day, Sheffield has said, Oh, I can no longer make it because I've got all that engagement, or I do not know the recipe that I need. I have not actually tried it out, or I do not know or have the people, the team that will help me to do S, Y, and Z, that record would not have been made. It would have been a success. So if you want your collaboration to work, you have to be reliable. All the parties involved in the collaboration have to be reliable for your collaboration goal to become a success, to even begin. So, for example, I'm sure there were people that deliver the gas, the equipment, the media support on time. So each of those collaborations, one single failure from one person taking um doing what they are supposed to do would have brought everything to a halt or delay or even make the collaboration not to be successful. So those that were supposed to bring the gas brought the gas. Those that were supposed to bring the pot brought it. Either was supposed to wash the pot, she washed it. Right? Those that were supposed to bring all the the um utensils that was needed in stirring the jellyfrice, everybody know their role and they were reliable. They were reliable, no, but they were not looking for anybody on that day. So, in that collaboration that you're in, are you reliable? Are you dependable? Do people have to send you reminders in order to get you to do the task that you're supposed to do? Do you build up a culture whereby you are attending meetings at the right time and then you are taking on board, taking notes what you're supposed to do and do it without anybody chasing you around to do yours. You honor your promises. Do you ensure that you keep receipt of all the contribution that everybody has done? So you have to be dependable. If you're not dependable, nobody will want to collaborate with you again. Now trust. I'm sure Gino trusted Ilda, trusted her skills. Know that this lady will work so hard to ensure that she develops, try out, and give the best recipe possible so that all the ingredients that they are going to use will not come to waste. It will not come to waste. And then Ilda, on the other hand, trusted Gino to ensure that the brand, the video quality, and every other requirement from Gino is needed. Before you go into collaboration with anybody, do you trust them? Don't go into collaboration with people because they are big names and they will take you to the next level. Big names sometimes will drop you. So it's not about the size of the name, it's about their values. What are their values? Does it align with yours? Do your values align with their values as well? So there have to be an element of trust. Without trust, collaboration will drown in suspicion. Trust grows when we do what we are supposed to do at the right time. We have a clear agreement, we have transparency. There is no secret. So if you want to start your journey of collaboration, make sure that you don't get into paranoia. You have the ability to trust and you trust the right people as well. So with this, we'll come with transparency. You have to be very, very transparent. Now, another thing that I noticed was structure. The event was well structured. Ida was not just cookie, and then everybody would just gather around and be telling stories. I go, story, story, story. Once upon a time, time, time. There was a girl called Ilda, and then she would be staring. No, there was entertainment. There was music. People were dancing. It was like a carnival. There was entertainment. People were dancing. Celebrities were showing in and out to support her. She pulled all the resources together. There was no lack of entertainment. Nine hours of cooking. Do you think is a joke? Nine hours. I cook my jolofries at home. 30 minutes is done. Nine hours. People were waiting. People were not going. They were sharing her on. And then when it was ready, they were sharing. Eita, we want jollof. These are people that they were probably hungry. But because of the entertainment, because of inflows of influencers, celebrities, people's energy was high. The energy was positive. That required loads of structure. The equipment, the stage, the advertisements, the ingredients, the media rollouts, notification of Guinness to ensure that they even are aware that a uh a record is being attempted, right? And even when the pot collapsed, when they were trying to wait, did you see that people did not run? They quickly started thinking on their feet. They started thinking on their feet. They adapted it quickly. Instead of weighing it, they started using the containers, how much of this rice we weigh, and how many did we dish out? They started weighing in different ways, and they were still able to get something substantial. I just want to ask you the favor to subscribe, like, and share to your friends, your neighbor, your colleagues, your family, your friends, and everybody that we know. And I'm really working hard to ensure that I bring useful and valuable information that will help you in your mental and emotional well-being so that you begin to thrive authentically. You know, a lot of us will feel we have to wait until something happens before we become reactive. But with this podcast, I'm trying to give you information that will make you proactive so you don't even have anything to react to in the end because you are looking after yourself properly. So, what are you waiting for? If you have been listening, please like, share, comment on anything that resonates with you. This will help to drive our visibility. And also, if there is any other topic that we have discussed that has been a trigger or that you feel you need support with, please visit www.asebconsultancy.com. There is a 15-minute free consultation link that you can click on right there and book to speak to one of our consultants. Thank you so much for helping to drive visibility to this platform. And also if you have been listening on Apple, Spotify, Audible, and every other um podcast um platform there. Please follow us and keep sharing. Thank you. Thank you so much. Back to the program now. Structure makes your passion sustainable. It's not your emotion that makes it sustainable, it is a structure that makes it sustainable, make it repeatable so that you can repeat it over and over again and it sustain your collaboration. Now, the shared vision as well has to be something that whoever you are collaborating with, they buy in. They have to buy in, right? They have to buy in. It's so important. So you get the buy-in of everybody. The vision is unified so that focus is kept for everybody. The vision should not just satisfy one person and you just see me as the money bag, and it does not, it doesn't um help me in any way. So it has to be mutually benefiting for everybody. There is a benefit for all the stakeholders in your collaboration, and no one should feel like this person is gaining more than the other. Without a shared vision, collaboration will pull into different directions. This person wants to do it this way, that person wants to do it this way. Gino will say, I want to, I want the Guinness Book of Record. And um Ida will say, I want another record, I don't want the Guinness book of record. And when there is a divided vision, then there's no need for you to collaborate. Okay? So there should be one goal that you notify that unified both parties involved, and there should be a clear outcome on how everything will do. I will keep repeating this vision in your meetings to reinforce realignment, to reinforce alignment, to reinforce that nobody is going into a different tangent. No, that everybody is in sync, everybody is together, and there is oneness and there is transparency. So that is how it should go. So in your collaboration, do you repeat the vision over and over again? Because if you don't repeat it, people are bound to misinterpret things. And when there is a misinterpretation, then the vision is divided. A house that is divided cannot stand on its own. So we have to have shared vision, share the vision over and over in each meeting. Share the vision, share the vision to align everybody to ensure that everybody is in sync. Now, there's another beautiful part of collaboration that makes it sustainable. It is fun. Come on, have some fun, have some fun, have some fun. Did you notice early fun was good when Eda was cooking? There was fun. It did not distract the pot from cooking, did not distract the ingredients from missing together. It did not distract Ilda, if anything, probably improve their positive vibe and a theme as well. Everybody was vibing. Have fun. In your meeting, have a good sense of humor in a healthy way, not the one that will derail the discussion. Laugh when you are supposed to laugh. Don't be too serious. Like everybody is walking around eggshells when you are collaborating. You are too scared of the person you are collaborating with. You cannot tell them the truth. There is no honesty because they are bigger than you and you feel like, oh, this person is helping me. You're walking around eggshells around them. You will just burn out. You will burn out and you will not be authentic. And at the end, you will regret a collaboration. So it is so important to have a bit of sense of humor. Get to know this person. Don't be scared of people that you are collaborating with. Right? Have mutual respect, have good sense of humor, and also this will help to fuel the gel, um, the joy and the energy, the synergy in the room. Right? Full keep people motivated when it is stressful. When we laugh over, oh, do you remember when this did not work out? It it was stressful for me, but I'm glad we can laugh over it now. Share the lessons. People should not be too serious. Laugh a little bit when you're collaborating, right? To keep the momentum going, to reduce the stress, to remove the cutises, and to bring in dopamine. So top up your dopamine when you are collaborating, collaborating with people, build team building. So while you're collaborating, get go out together, get to know what makes this person tick, get to know what this person is passionate about, apart from the business side of things. Get out, go for well-being, together, have a laugh together, apart from um just doing business. Don't just be like, oh, whenever you meet, it's only business. Whenever you meet, it's only business. Whenever you meet, it's only business. Get to know the being, the person, get to know the business of this person, get to understand why this person build this business. I know I want to collaborate with them, but what is what pushes them, what keep them going? What is their pain point? You know, and that will help you to make that collaboration a beautiful experience because you will know the person more, you will know their business more. But that is the way to sustain a good collaboration now, authenticity and honest truth. You see, I joined together. Honest truth, honesty as in honest, unadulterated is very important when you are collaborating. It is so important because when you are not honest, things will now they'll find out things from other people is wrong. If you have made a mistake, admit it and let the person know you have made a mistake. When you are pretending that everything is okay and everything is fine, it will when they find out the truth, it will kill your credibility and this person will no longer trust you. It is so important that you are not misunderstood. It doesn't matter how good your intention is in keeping that withholding information, when they find that they are going to open that up to their own interpretation based on their previous experience. So when a trust is gone, then it's so difficult to rebuild it again. Africans sometimes find it difficult to hold that difficult conversation. So this kills collaboration, it kills collaboration. Don't appear to be perfect in your collaboration. We are all work in progress. If you make mistakes or if there is a skill that is an assumption that you know and you don't really possess that skill, then let the person know that it's not me that normally do this, it's someone in my team. Maybe I need to bring them on board in this collaboration, or I need to ensure that they do this particular task. Okay, so don't pretend as if you know it all in that collaboration. It is so important for you to be honest with your skills, be honest with your resources, be honest with your capacity, be honest with your financial um capacity as well. It is so important. Don't notice an assumption and then you just let a person carry on like that. So important that you correct any misconception, any assumption that is important. I know we've been evaluating in this broadcast. Was able to break again as book of record, and everybody is happy for that. I am so excited for her. I'm really excited for them. But I just feel like there's a lot of lessons that we've extracted from their collaboration. Make sure you take ownership of each of the tasks. Make sure you are reliable. All the parties involved must be reliable. Partnership collaboration must be built in trust. So you must trust each other. You must trust each other. Build this in trust and ensure that you maintain it. Make sure there is a structure legally, there's a structure with any standard or with any license that is required, whether it be safety, whether it be GDPR, or anything that is needed in our collaboration has to put in place. Make sure there is a shared vision that is being repeated over and over again, not ambiguous, but very simplified so that everybody will understand. In case there is a technology that is not using one industry, make sure it's simplified that everybody understands what that means. And then make sure that there is fun. Have a bit of fun, get to know each other, let your head down sometimes, and then get to know one another. And above all, let it be consistent authenticity and honesty that is being communicated over and over again. It is so important that we collaborate. We are so blessed with so many skills, but yet, no matter how blessed you are, you are not an island of yourself. You don't know it all, you don't have it all. You might have enough to sustain you. Imagine if you bring other people to complement you, you soar like an ego. You begin to just go higher and Ire. So, what is the point of going into a journey alone? There's a parable that said, if you go alone, you will go fast, but if you go with others, you will go further and then you're not going to give up. So I hope this collaboration with Ilda and Gino has you know um has been able to convince you that collaboration is wealth, collaboration is the way forward. Collaboration is great, collaboration is beautiful if it is done well, if you can incorporate this into what you are doing. It is so important that we do this over and over again. Collaboration makes us go far. I've collaborated with some beautiful people and I achieved a lot within that shared vision. I've also collaborated with people that taught me great lessons. Do I have any regret? No. Because I learned from whether it was successful or whether it wasn't successful. I learned from both sides. And I'm so so grateful that people came my way. Some will come your way for a reason, some will come away for a season, some will come your way for a lesson. You need to discern and have no regret over your collaboration. Let us collaborate. And if there's anybody out there that feels their businesses collaborate mine, please get in touch. And if you feel we can collaborate, still complement one another so that we can reach more people, please let me know. If you want to collaborate with me on this podcast, I am so open to it. If you want to collaborate with me as a counselor as well, because ACEP Consultancy, we're a counseling firm whereby we counsel people, we do live coaching as well. So if you want to collaborate with me, please feel free to just come. If you want to collaborate with me in terms of me coming to speak in your engagement and we exchange things like that, please let me know. If you want to come as a guest for us to collaborate, for you to share your stuff and share your from your wealth of knowledge, reach out to me. I want to get into rich collaboration with people. I am so open to it, and I'm going to be using all this all these uh, you know, the the what we extradited from Ilda's um collaboration with Gino, what we you know, the lessons that we learned from Ilda Basi and Gino's collaboration, and also from other collaboration that I've done. My name is Abiasonia, and I want to thank you for joining me on this podcast and listening over um with for listening with me or for sitting down. I just want to thank you for collaborating for listening, okay, for listening to this podcast today until I come your way again. My name is Abiasonia. Thank you so much for always commenting. Thank you for always sharing your insight. If you've had any interesting collaboration journey and you want to come and share with me, please let me know. Reach out and just let me know. You can leave your email or comment on the YouTube or send us an email that will be showing on the screen right now. Thank you very much for joining us today. Bye and take care. God bless.