School Transitions Through Gen Z Eyes

We explore how a Gen Z student navigates big school transitions, from primary to secondary, through lockdown homeschooling, GCSEs, and into college. We focus on values-led friendships, safer choices, practical study habits, and how parents can offer steady support.

• moving from small classes to large year groups
• bus safety, awareness and planning routes
• coping with COVID disruption and homeschooling structure
• learning through trips, experiments and libraries
• returning for GCSEs with revision, tutoring and fewer chores
• choosing friends by values and handling drama
• saying no to vaping and alcohol with clear boundaries
• makeup, uniform rules and building real confidence
• affordable prom planning and early budgeting
• college transitions, first-name tutors and relationship building
• self-care through time management, sleep and steady work

Please like, share, comment on anything that resonates with you. Visit www.asebconsultancy.com for a 15-minute free consultation. Please follow us on Apple, Spotify, Audible and keep sharing.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Episode Theme
• 2:30 Early School Years And Primary Transitions
• 4:20 Starting Secondary: Scale, Fear, And Coping
• 7:00 Bus Skills And Staying Safe
• 10:30 Navigating Older Years And Peer Pressure
• 14:00 COVID Disruption And Move To Homeschool
• 18:00 Hands‑On Learning, Museums, And Experiments
• 21:30 Returning For GCSEs: Anxiety And Support
• 25:20 Friendships, Values, And Handling Drama
• 30:00 Homework, Workload, And Study Habits
• 33:00 Subjects, Teachers, And Finding Motivation
• 36:00 Uniform Rules, Makeup, And Confidence
• 40:00 Vaping, Drinking, And Saying No
• 44:00 Prom On A Budget And Planning Ahead
• 46:00 GCSE Revision Strategy And Parental Help
• 49:00 Transition To College And Making Friends
• 52:00 Building Tutor Relationships And Gratitude
• 55:00 Reassurance For Parents And Settling In

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:00

For us to because that socialization, nobody's an island is very important, and your teachers as well. Because I know there was one thing that you struggle with calling your teachers by their first name. Remember when you come back from college, you suggest me like they have to have to call her Sophia. I don't understand. What about Miss Miss Edgentin? Miss So hard. What did you struggle with in that?

SPEAKER_01: 0:26

For example, if you had um my psychologist Rokia, yeah, I say Miss, and she'll be like, it's not miss, it's Rokia.

SPEAKER_02: 0:34

So that transitioned from calling Miss Secondary School and Primary School to stay in their first name. How long did it take you? Because I'm sure for a full time. Did you feel was were you the only one that was making that mission?

SPEAKER_01: 0:47

I was the only one. Like I didn't even know her name after I think after a few lessons I knew her name. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 0:58

So I I how do you feel about it now? Like now you can call her back. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine though. That was that was a funny one. That was a funny one. I'm a little comfortable. This book is available on Amazon and also on my website, www.aseultancy.com. On this podcast, we talk about our mental and emotional well-being and also our holistic well-being in order for us to thrive authentically. This is a safe space for you to speak about soulful truth and talk about the things that will help you to come back to yourself and regain your self-awareness. Welcome to the authentic podcast once again. Please can you introduce yourself?

SPEAKER_01: 2:17

Um, hi, I'm Aya. Um Sang's daughter.

SPEAKER_02: 2:21

Okay, so today we're gonna be talking about transitions, right? But transition from the eyes of a Gen Z. That's what they call you guys, right? Transition from the eyes of a Gen Z. So today I am gonna be asking you a few questions, and I know it's going to help, you know, Gen Z like you, and also it will also help parents to be able to know the best way to support their child. So we're gonna take it far back as your first. I know you went to nursery, you were too young then to remember that. And but I know one thing for sure that you um I dropped you there the second day, you were already waving at me goodbye, and you just go back into the nursery and play with other children. So we're gonna start from when you went to primary school. How was that for you when you transition to primary school?

SPEAKER_01: 3:12

Um, primary school I would say was fine because I had most of my friends from nursery come into the same school as me. So I was quite fine, and I was quite young, so I made friends quite easily.

SPEAKER_02: 3:26

Okay, so because what I hear you say that is that because you have friends from nursery, so you already have your familiar faces that you already know that helped you. Okay, so I know your time in in primary school, even with those of your friends, was so close that they would have to split you people to different classes because you guys, your bond was so strong, it became a distraction at some point. So, um, when you transitioned to secondary school, how was that for you?

SPEAKER_01: 3:57

Um I would say it was quite different from primary school because there was a lot more people, and only one person from my primary school came with me to secondary school. So I'd say it was a lot more different.

SPEAKER_02: 4:11

So, how did you how did you um manage the differences that arose for you?

SPEAKER_01: 4:16

Um, well, I mean, I knew some people because they were like friends, well, friends' children. So then I knew them. So my friend's children. Yes, your friend's children. So I knew them. Um, and then most of the time we just stayed together, and then after a few weeks, I would like talk to people in my classes. So I wouldn't just stick with the people that I knew, but I would talk to other people as well.

SPEAKER_02: 4:39

Okay, so yeah, right. Um, the secondary school is bigger where you have about 60 students in your form entry in your old school, in this school. How many were you guys in year seven? How many year seven? Um, about 100 and something. So, like how many sets were they? Many sets.

SPEAKER_01: 4:57

Um, so we had like two different sets. So we had B2N and C2S. So B2N, those um, I think it was like 30 because we like split up, so I barely saw like the other half. Yeah, we were like, I didn't know how many was altogether because we didn't really come to all together, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 5:15

So from about 60 to like almost double, and then not even more than that, that's quite a lot, isn't it? And then you have other people as well. You have the year eight, year nine, year ten, year eleven. That's that's quite a lot, you know. How was it for you being uh in primary school? You were one of the oldest, right? Because you brought year six, you had the seniors and all of that stuff, and then you're not going to year seven where you are the youngest in the school. How was that experience for you?

SPEAKER_01: 5:42

It was quite scary to be honest, because there was people I've never seen before.

SPEAKER_02: 5:48

Okay, so the scary experience, how did you manage to cope with it, navigate your way through?

SPEAKER_01: 5:53

Uh, I'd say I didn't comfortable with the older ones like they do now. Um I I would mostly say that I was I was with the people that I knew, or I was out in the library.

SPEAKER_02: 6:08

Okay, so you just hang around the faces that you knew. Yes. I uh I also remembered then that you we were, you know, we have to do bus run with you and things like that. You know, for people out there right now that are trying to get their head around the bus route and things like that, would you have any tips for them on how to cope, you know, navigating the outside world by themselves?

SPEAKER_01: 6:32

Um, I'd say if there's no one who takes the same route as you, I'd say um if you're on your own, you should always be aware, like be aware of your surroundings. And that you should like plan where you're gonna like where where you're gonna sit on the bus, if you're gonna press the bell, where. And um, if you're with someone you know and you're like you're taking the same route, then you should both like don't be distracted because you could like miss your stop.

SPEAKER_02: 6:59

Right. That's very, very valid. A very, very valid point, and it's easily done, isn't it? You're having it gisting and all those stuff, and before you do the bus is already passed. Okay, did that ever happen to you? Um did that ever happen to you? I say only like once. Okay, so so when that happened, what what what do you advise the person to do? Because they'll be panicking.

SPEAKER_01: 7:23

Well, hopefully, you know your way around. If you don't know your way around, then you just have to use like Google Maps or something. I only miss like one stop. So when you miss the when you miss where you're supposed to press the bell, what did you do next? Um, so I wait for the next stop, press the bell, and then I'd go, I'd get off the bus stop, and then I'd look around to see if I knew anywhere familiar, and I just follow those.

SPEAKER_02: 7:41

Right, okay. So if you miss one bus stop because you're busy talking or for any other reason, just press the next one and get off. All you have to do is to walk back, isn't it? Yeah, it's a matter of whether walking back, walking forward. Depends on on where you are. So it's a good thing for you to master your roots. Don't be on your phone when you are traveling and in a bus. Don't be on because if you are on your phone, right, you do not master the the the key the key points. You don't know the roots, you don't know the houses, you don't know the prime the prime um stores or or or places that will help you to know your route very well. So I would say stay off your phone, learn to know where you are at and be mindful of your environment is very, very important. Okay, so um you were saying something about when you were in in in secondary school, um, a lot of people were there and things like that. You said some people look for trouble. What does that mean? The people that are looking for trouble, what are the things that actually lead people to problems when they get to high school?

SPEAKER_01: 8:43

Well, it's acting like you're well, you're the youngest, so the older ones are gonna be like looking more scarier, but sometimes the year 11s were like really nice, and then sometimes the year sevens were like caution with year 11s by acting like all tough with them, even though they've only just left primary school.

SPEAKER_02: 9:02

So the little ones are acting tougher than the older ones, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 9:07

So do it now, but it's like even worse now.

SPEAKER_02: 9:09

Really? Yeah, the audacity that is so disrespectful. Okay, so we're saying that don't add bigger than your boots, right? You don't add bigger than your boots, don't go winding up the older ones and and things like that.

SPEAKER_01: 9:25

But I also know the levels do annoying the exact boots.

SPEAKER_02: 9:29

Oh no, the levels they are not preference, the year 10 or the nine, any older ones, they are not preference. I see them on the corridor when I used to work in school, whereby they are trying to tease them. Oh, it's so small, oh it's so big, you know, things like that. They're commenting on their size. Taking the make it's not fairly, yeah, yeah. So if they're taking a mick at a child right now, that you know, what would you say to them? Um, I mean, I'll tell them to stop. So for a child that is going through that now, maybe they just feel like the older ones are picking on them because of the size of their bag, maybe because of their height and what have you, what what would you advise them to do?

SPEAKER_01: 10:11

Um, I say, I mean, if the reason they're making fun of your bag is because it's like old or something, I say that you should just ignore them because well until you get a new bag, because it's not really your fault. And um, if they're making food of your site, you can't really change that either. So if you can ask like tell a teacher or something, or just tell them to stop, and eventually they'll stop.

SPEAKER_02: 10:31

Okay, that's a good one. It takes a tough skin, isn't it? For you to be able to look at someone like a stall out of you and say, stop winding me up. Because sometimes they even make it even worse. But I like the point where you said you should tell the teacher, let the teacher know. And those older ones, they don't like getting in trouble. So when you tell the teacher and just let them know, they'll probably back off. And from there, and also don't take things too seriously, they need to have a good sense of humor, and because the more that they can get a reaction from you, the more they would do it. So also try not to get yourself in the pickle or make yourself visible and by you know, um, looking for unnecessary attention to yourself, so be very mindful. But there's another thing that I know that you you were so good at, you were so good at making friends with the older ones. Oh, yeah. I noticed that. So tell us more about that.

SPEAKER_01: 11:24

Um, so the number one thing that the year 11s were taught to me about is my height because I was quite tall in year seven. So I like blending, and they wouldn't think I was a year seven, so that's number one thing, and also um I didn't cause trouble, I was respectful, and plus I knew well, I didn't know any year 11s when I was in year seven, I only knew like a year nine because of your friends, but yeah, that's the only reason.

SPEAKER_02: 11:50

Okay, sorry. Right, okay. So the next question is I know your year seven was very interesting because it was very interesting because the planet is September, right? And then um, let's say October, November, December, January, everywhere. But six months after COVID happened, lockdown, correct lockdown. How was that for you?

SPEAKER_01: 12:13

Well, first we started school online, so Microsoft Teams, and I think well, at first everyone started showing up, but then no one would turn their cameras on, and then after a while, it was like get less and less, and then we'll have to like lessons online, and it was just wasn't the same as it you would do it like physically.

SPEAKER_02: 12:33

Uh but how did that affect you?

SPEAKER_01: 12:35

Um, well, I didn't get to see my friends from school anymore. Um, and I was just in the house all the time.

SPEAKER_02: 12:43

Okay, and then we, your parents, we drop you a big bomb shell, boom, and we're like because of some reasons, you and your sisters are going to be homeschooled. I'm speaking to this for people that are actually going through this now where their parents go, I want to homeschool you because of the things that is happening in the world and and stuff like that. What would you say to that child that's just been told that you are going to be homeschooled and spot?

SPEAKER_01: 13:13

Um, at first you're gonna be like really annoyed and upset, but then after a while you get used to it, and then um you just get used to doing school online. It's like I say it's easier because there's no distractions, you just you yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 13:28

What what did we do? What did we do that helped you to um kind of you know um adjust quickly? You are your siblings because I was so proud of you, Pudata. You adjusted so quickly. What did we do?

SPEAKER_01: 13:44

Um, I'd say because of lockdown, I was used to like being at home, and then I was we also like went outside to the parks, and we weren't always at home, we had like gymnastics, so we'd see like other people as well. Um, we had swimming as well, and then we're also doing school online, so we're using um this website for Oak Academy, so then we're also using that, so we just got used to it after a while because it was just like normal for us.

SPEAKER_02: 14:13

So, would you say this the structure that we created for you because the learning that we tried as much as we can to ensure that that learning was very, very practical? Like you said, we used to go out for learning, we used to go to the library, we used to go for like mini excursions. Yeah, remember we went to uh went to the farm um to see animals. Tell tell tell us more about that. How was that for you?

SPEAKER_01: 14:36

Um, so I don't really like farm. I've never liked farm since I was like a kid because of the smell, it just smells really bad. And we went to the farm, we saw how milk is made. Um, we got to see like different animals. Like, what was that animal? It was like a peacock or something. Which one? We saw this one big animal who was that was like walking. Like a it's like an ostrich, it knows an ostrich. Oh, okay. And we also saw some um what's it called now? We saw the little chickens, those are cool. Yeah, and then we would also go to like um the where else do we look? We went to the science museum. Yeah, yeah, went to that one. Went to the aquarium. The aquarium was nice.

SPEAKER_02: 15:17

Went to the market where you did research and libraries. So it seems like doing if you want to do homeschooling for your children, make sure it's as hands-on as possible, it's as hands-on as possible, and also incorporate other social things, like she said, they were doing gymnastics, they were doing swimming, so incorporate it even dancing or football or basketball, incorporate other things that are very hands-on. If you stick the book in front of them, most of the time, it is not going to help. They'll end up resenting that time with you, they will not be able to do things. So, in your time, we did a lot of practical stuff. What do you say? That those practical stuff kind of just helped as well.

SPEAKER_01: 15:54

Yeah, we did. It was like off back in school, we did um science experiments. Oh, yeah. I would do that egg one. Um, and we do English, I'll do my art stuff as well. Yeah, so I've been making like different things, and I'd also do bacon because I did fruit tech as well.

SPEAKER_02: 16:10

That is so true. Do you remember the egg that we left? Vinegar, yeah. And then we did different races for different materials, and um, yeah, so it was very, very hands-on, and we did that for two and a half years, believe it or not. Two and a half years of schooling these children for me, for me as a parent, it helped me to bond with my children more, it helped me to know them a little bit deeper, it helped me to just connect with them because I've invested a lot of time teaching other people's children and doing it for my own. It was just a different level uh to do that. But I had to ensure that I was stimulating them, I was engaging them according to the curriculum. And we have to also take permission from the council as well. So don't just leave your children at home and say you're homeschooling, you have to let the authority know so they can give you permission. Remember, we used to have those cards, permission from the council that you are homeschooling in case the police see you with me, and they're like, Why are you not in school? So we had those permissions, so make sure you do it in a very structured and a very cool way so you don't get yourself into trouble unnecessarily, right? Okay, so we did that. Um, what was the highlight of of homeschooling for you?

SPEAKER_01: 17:23

Um, I'd say well, it was kind of like I was back at school, so it was like no difference from the actual like change, but I'd say it was the trips that we went on.

SPEAKER_02: 17:35

Yeah, okay. Now, what did you miss about homeschooling?

SPEAKER_01: 17:39

What did I miss? Yeah, what did you miss? Um, I didn't have to get up early every morning and take in the bus and rushing. Yeah, I just wake up and just like start school.

SPEAKER_02: 17:51

Yeah, indeed. I missed that, you know. I missed that. And then we then did another transition. We did another transition back to school, and I said then you were year your year 10. Yeah, isn't that amazing? So you did only six months in year seven, and then we did all of all those other things at home, and then you then transition back to school. Now, imagine you're not year 10. Please just tell me genuinely, how was that for you?

SPEAKER_01: 18:17

Um, at first I was actually quite scared because I've not been like with my age mates in the school for like two or three years. And um, it's because I was starting my I was meant to pick my options for my GTSCs, so I had missed picking that as well. So it was quite scary as well because I had GTSC's the next year.

SPEAKER_02: 18:37

So it was scary. Um, how do you think we as parents help you to manage that that that um that worry?

SPEAKER_01: 18:46

Um, so you're like reassuring me and then also making sure that I was like, so while I was doing my schoolwork, I was also up to date with what I was learning in school.

SPEAKER_02: 18:56

Okay, so for parents that is out there now, the emotional support is very needed. You need to pay attention, check the body language because sometimes they might not talk. So you are you don't expect them that they will just fit in immediately. No, there will be time whereby they just need that support, constantly checking in with them. How are you getting on and all the stuff? Now, I know a lot of children they struggle with these bits whereby they are trying their best to make friends, and that is a challenge. What is your advice or the best way to make advice? Because I know we spoke extensively when you all were going back about that.

SPEAKER_01: 19:34

Um, so the number one thing I was told was that you shouldn't go with people, you should let them come to you at first, and that you should like observe how they act before you go, like so you can like pick to see who's like the best type for you. So it's basically just like not rushing into things that you should be on your own for a bit and just see how they are before you go to them.

SPEAKER_02: 19:56

Okay, so we are observing these people. What qualities are you looking for in then?

SPEAKER_01: 20:00

Um, qualities that match you or your values?

SPEAKER_02: 20:04

Your values, yeah. Okay. So if you see someone that the value do not match yours, what what would you do?

SPEAKER_01: 20:12

Um, I stay away from them, I avoid them.

SPEAKER_02: 20:16

Can you share some of your values?

SPEAKER_01: 20:18

Um, honesty, integrity, respect, um, kindness, but um, also having a strong like religion, you know. Um I'd also say perseverance as well. So like not giving up and also having like uh deep spirituality.

SPEAKER_02: 20:38

So that's very important to you. Yeah, okay. So parents, it's very important that we you know, we we we discuss our family values with our children because that would then become a criteria that they will use to um you know choose their friends. Because a friend that has a spiritual, a strong spiritual background and has a person has uh this um you know respect, integrity, respect for themselves, respect for their family, respect for their family name, respect for their own name. They are not likely to go into things that would bring shame and disgrace to to them or their family. So it's very important that you don't go about just choosing people because they chose you. You have to check does this person compliment me, does this person match my personality? If they don't, please, that would lead to unnecessary headache, unnecessary drama. This is why you see your children go to school in one way, and then before you know it, they are transforming in their personality, in their character, in the things that they are doing because they are around or hanging around people that are not um in alignment with their values or with the way they were brought up. So we have to be very, very guided with that. And children, your parents, they know they're they are helping, they just want to help you. They're not trying to control you, they're trying to help you uh in order for you not to give yourself into a pickle. So IO, right? Um, with all of these things, so you mind the people that you chose and all the stuff. But what if you've done all of these things and you see drama in the group? Because conflict will happen. It doesn't matter if someone has the same value as you, there'll still be conflict. How did you navigate that?

SPEAKER_01: 22:20

Um, I'd say speaking to teachers, and also telling your parents as well, so you know what's going on. And um, I'd also say that you should also find out why there's a problem to begin with.

SPEAKER_02: 22:34

Okay, so initially they're just run to teacher because they're falling out with your friend. I'm talking about falling out with your friend now. Yeah, so if you fall out with your friend, what's the first thing you would do?

SPEAKER_01: 22:42

Yeah, that's why they're upset. Well, if they're upsetting you, or why they're falling out with you. Okay, what else? Um, so also like so say, for example, like one big friend group, you'd like get all sides of the story before like having just one conclusion.

SPEAKER_02: 22:56

Yeah, that that's one that's one major one. You know, the big friend group. This one said this, that one said that. Oh my goodness, it can be like a spider web sometimes. How do you guys unravel that?

SPEAKER_01: 23:08

Well, I say, first of all, if you're gonna have like a big friend group, I see that you all get along, you're not just like one friend bringing their friend, and then it's just like one big friend. No, don't do that. I'd say like you're all friends, like all mutual friends.

SPEAKER_02: 23:25

Right. I remember when I was in school, sometimes it used to lead to massive fight, as in whereby not necessarily scratching on one another, as in verbera, hug humor, and all of that stuff, and then before you know it, nobody's talking to anybody, and when it's lunchtime, everybody starts in a different place, and before you did it, just naturally gravitate, and then maybe a group of um six friends, you know, have two dead, two dead, two there. It's very uncomfortable, isn't it? Yeah, I just love asking the favor to subscribe, like, and share to your friends, your neighbor, your colleagues, your family, your friends, and everybody that you know. And I'm really working hard to ensure that I bring useful and valuable information that will help you with your mental and emotional well-being so that you begin to thrive authentically. You know, a lot of us will feel we have to wait until something happens before we become reactive. But with this podcast, I'm trying to give you information that will make you proactive so you don't even have anything to react to in the end because you are looking after yourself properly. So, what are you waiting for? If you have been listening, please like, share, comment on anything that resonates with you. This will help to drive our visibility. And also, if there's any other topic that we have discussed that has been a trigger or that you feel you need support with, please visit www.aseultancy.com. There is a 15-minute free consultation link that you can click on right there and book to speak to one of our counselors. Thank you so much for helping to drive visibility to this platform. And also if you have been listening on Apple, Spotify, Audible, and every other um podcast um platform there. Please follow us and keep sharing. Thank you, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01: 25:26

Back to the program now, or you just ignore the both of them until they sort it out, right?

SPEAKER_02: 25:32

Okay, and does it normally just settle down as well?

SPEAKER_01: 25:35

Uh most of the times, yeah. Or if it doesn't, then you just like see each of them individually.

SPEAKER_02: 25:40

Yeah. So you're not taking sides, you're just talking to this person and talking to that person. Okay, that's fine. So, what about those that academically they are struggling? What will your what would be your best advice to them? Because some sometimes, you know, in primary school, you do math, English, science, yeah, and nothing is broken down, right? You do history, you do food, everything is just it's not a lot, but in secondary school, you have about you have more subject that sometimes can be very overwhelming. What would you say that uh that can help people to to navigate that?

SPEAKER_01: 26:12

Um, I say when you're in class and you understand the subject, I say talk. Because if you don't talk, then you're not gonna understand it. Okay, so when you say talk, talk to who? Talk to the teacher or ask the teacher questions and um I say go over the topic as well, and like go and try and see if you can remember everything instead of like um just like going home and just like not doing that at all. Yeah, so you can go over at least like at least you know it's in the back of your mind.

SPEAKER_02: 26:38

Okay, so revision, asking questions is very important. What about those that are really struggling to manage their their their own work, the workload? What would you say to tip the outloads of homework?

SPEAKER_01: 26:51

Um, I say either do it during your lunchtime in the library if you have time, or just do it whenever you have like freeze, or whenever you remember to do it, just do it then.

SPEAKER_02: 27:01

Yeah, I remember you used to go to the library libraries and you then you used to go to the library a lot and just quickly do your homework and when you get when you do some of them. That is really good. Thank you, Ayo, for sharing light. I know there are other things, but maybe if you are kind enough to honor our offer again to come back with my dive into things like when people are being um you know being uh bullied or being singled out, how to manage that and how to navigate that because I know that's quite a lot sometimes for people to to take on because they are wondering how they're going to manage this can be overwhelming. Um now, in terms of students that always get in trouble with teachers, and you just have this teacher, you just feel like this teacher does not like me. He does not like me. What do you think are the cause is the cause of that and how can we navigate that?

SPEAKER_01: 27:52

Um, I say it's either because you distract the whole class, uh you're loud, um, you just don't listen to when when they speak, or you're just the type that if um even if you're well, for example, if you're smart and you already know everything, well you don't know everything, but like you already know um how to do the thing, you distract others, so then they don't know how to do it. Yeah, that's some of the reasons why teachers won't like you know, like you sometimes, or it's because um when you're doing it well, anywhere they put you, you just distract others. Yes, like anywhere around the room.

SPEAKER_02: 28:30

Yeah, of course, nobody wants um someone that is distracting people in the class. So if you are being picked on by your teacher, you need to check on this. Are you being too forward? Are you being too uh are you a bit sly, or are you talking a lot to your friends? Remember, there's lunch and break time. Those are the times that you should be hanging out with your friend, not when you're in the class, right? Not when you're in the in the class. There are some situations as well whereby you some children, they they just find subjects that they don't like. What do you think is the best way? You just don't like this subject, maybe because you don't understand it. What do you think is the best way to navigate that?

SPEAKER_01: 29:08

Um, some people might not like the subject because they don't like the teacher. Like sometimes, um, where was it now? I think it was like English when I was in year seven, yeah. Yeah, I needed to like English because of my teacher, she was so mean to me. But then I end up picking English in A levels anyways, so it wasn't really the subject, it was the teacher. But I'd say if you don't like the subject, then you're gonna have to like you're gonna have to learn it anyways. So, well, if it's like one of those ones where you can pick it in year nine, then I say don't pick it when you get to year nine. Or um if it's the ones where um, for example, maths, English or science, I'd say that um you focus on the parts that you do like because it's not like you can't like not like the whole thing, you can like not like bits of it. Like, for example, in math I don't like algebra because English and and math like they're together. I'd say if you don't like that part, you can like some parts, like for example, um times tables. I like times tables.

SPEAKER_02: 30:06

Yeah. Okay. So that's really sound advice. Thank you. So now let's go to the uniform policy, right? I remember I allow you to wear makeup now, right? But you it wasn't always like that, right? So I think you'll be a good person to speak to this because I've had people whereby we have to give them wives, baby wives, to wipe their face down. Year seven, doing makeup, year eight, doing makeup. Even year 11 is not allowed. It's in the school policy. I don't know why people like to wear makeup to school. So for people that are already you know in trouble most of the time, the teachers are giving them wives to wipe their face, and at the end of the day that child will have a will be in a bad mood all through because a teacher at the gate asks you to wipe your face. Please tell us your journey about this makeup to what you think about this and the folding of skirts that the skirt will just be discussed, disappearing. It's only it's like they are wearing a laptop. It'll only you'll be seeing all their lap. What is the motive? I I remember then I used to say with the first stories that I don't want to hear anything. The skew uniform, and then you see their the colours full of makeup, like umpa lumpa. Don't do that, please. Tell us you talk about your own journey. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 31:21

So when I was in year seven, none of us we didn't really used to wear makeup exactly. The only thing we used to spell was like mascara and lip gloss or lip balm. That's the only thing.

SPEAKER_02: 31:28

Mascara is makeup, young lady.

SPEAKER_01: 31:30

Yeah, no, wait. That was like year eight and nine. Wow, I would say year seven, none of us wore makeup. It was like the most people was lip balm and lip gloss, that's all we wore. And then um, once I got to Kirzycam, it was quite different because it was like completely different areas. So most of them have been wearing makeup since like year seven, year six. So um, it was quite different seeing how because most of them once we got to like year 11 and they were took they were told to like take the makeup. Some of them they have like reasons, some of them to wear like give me the reason it was a reason of that. Like covering something, or they like feel self-conscious without the makeup. This one girl, my year, she was like that. So like not supposed to take a makeup off. She's because they know that she would like better than confidence, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 32:20

So you see, that's the that's the error of getting into makeup too early. When you get into makeup too early, you will build your self-confidence around that makeup, and the days that you do not have the makeup on your face, it's as if you are naked. It is not good. How did you feel when me and your dad we told you you're not allowed makeup until you are in college? How did that make you feel? And how did you manage to sustain that?

SPEAKER_01: 32:44

Um, well, I knew that it was for a reason because if I'd done it when I was in like year seven and eight, I knew I would have like regretted every single photo that I would have taken. Um, but I feel like I managed it through. Well, I wasn't I I didn't know how to put it on, anyways, so it wasn't that bad.

SPEAKER_02: 33:06

You see, that's the dangers for people that do it too early. You end up looking like Umpa Lumpa. I've seen people just slap the makeup on. I feel like just putting them down like sit down, let me let me you let's spread this thing properly so that it should be even. But you didn't have that mistake because I am so happy to share that. You gave me loads of makeup tips, loads and loads of makeup tips. You I won't allow you to do my makeup, you enhance my makeup game because you waited your time, right? And because you waited your time, you genuinely learned how to do it properly. That I can even say I can pay for your services now. So, what do you say to avoid child as it?

SPEAKER_01: 33:45

The benefit of waiting, just speak to it out because you get to learn it more. If you watch videos, it's just like practicing on your face, you're just doing it. I'd say um it's better to wait than do it, so then you don't look like that bad when you go to school because you won't even realize you just think it looks nice.

SPEAKER_02: 34:08

So, are you glad that you waited until you were older to practice properly before you did your makeup, or do you have any regret? No, I'm gonna wait. You're glad you waited. Yeah, so you see, for children that are out there, it is so worth it. Just wait, wait, you would do it because we gave you a specific time. We're not saying no, don't do makeup, right? We get did that help you that we gave you a specific time that wait until you are in college before you do it. Did that help you? Yeah, right. Okay, so if you are telling your children not to do makeup, perhaps give them a specific time when you're in college or when you are just let them know so that they will know what they are waiting for. Not waiting indefinitely can be very, very frustrating. Now, there is the issue of um of smoking, smoking, vaping in your time. Was vaping really was he was it really a big thing that time? Because I think in recent time, in the few years that just passed now, I think vaping has become a big deal.

SPEAKER_01: 35:06

Yeah, it's from like 2023.

SPEAKER_02: 35:08

Because now they will have cannabis vaping, they have uh with vaping and all of that stuff, you know. So, what what do you have to say to that?

SPEAKER_01: 35:15

I say don't do it because um in my high school in Kersley, I'd say that they knew that they would what they were doing was wrong, and they still did it, but they couldn't stop that thing because it was like an addiction for them, like they couldn't stop it, even if they wanted to stop, they couldn't stop. So I'd say don't get into it because they started since though like since year seven and they've been doing it since year 11, so it's kinda hard for them to like stop because it's like a normal habit for them, like they just wake up and start doing it.

SPEAKER_02: 35:47

So it's so it's it's become like an addiction to them, isn't it? Yeah, oh my word, that is really troubling. Did anybody ever offer you and and for example, a child now, if someone woke up to them, how would you avoid that I don't want to smoke? I say no, thank you. Why would they keep offering it? I just say no, I don't want the disgusting germs in my mouth. And does that not even say that the person does not have the same value as you? Because if you are not a smoker, what would you do if if someone in your friend group started smoking? Uh cook them off or something for them.

SPEAKER_01: 36:22

I'll well, I'll try and get them to stop at first to see if they actually listen. If they don't listen, then that's on them and I won't be friends with them anymore. Did I have a boom? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did I have a happen? Um, it happened like once. But the thing is, they were like, Oh, it's I'm not addicted to it. I only do it like once in a while. Yeah. But then after a while, I noticed that they started doing a lot and a lot, so I just stopped being friends with them.

SPEAKER_02: 36:49

Wow. It takes a lot of um self-confidence for you to be able to cut off with someone that you call a friend because of their bad habits. Because um, at the end of the day, we are not saviors, we don't have the power to save everybody. We people need to save themselves because you see, this is the danger that a lot of people feel. They say, Oh, this person has been my friend, I'm trying to save them. And the end of the day, you're trying to save them, they wind up dragging you into their own end, and they're always going to come and save you. You know, smoking is not good for your health, it damages the liver, it brings brown teeth, it damages the lungs, it brings a lot of heart conditions, and is absolutely a stinky disgusting habit. So you don't want to go into that. Um, please listen to your parents, even in drinking and all of that stuff, you know. In drinking, how was it? Do people drink in your pro?

SPEAKER_01: 37:38

Um, only one girl brought it in like um what did she bring? She brought it in this weird bottle. It wasn't like in the bottle, but it was in like it was in a hand sanitizer bottle. So then they wouldn't realize. For real? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 37:52

Oh my word.

SPEAKER_01: 37:53

What was she doing with it? Was she giving that to people? No, she was just drinking it. And then she would offer, she was like, Oh, do you want some?

SPEAKER_02: 38:01

Wow.

SPEAKER_01: 38:02

But how come you hate drinking? Pardon? How come you hate drinking? Oh, because it just makes you do things that you know you're gonna regret. So there's no point.

SPEAKER_02: 38:11

Yeah. It's good to make decisions to your cars, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. And sometimes some people get abused when they drink like that. They don't even remember, they pass out, drink themselves to a stupor, pass out, and then anything could happen. And then you you end up in pay the consequences, might get infected, infected with STDs, and you might get pregnant as well if the if care is not taken, because maybe you passed out. So we have to be really careful that we do not anger with people that are doing things that we don't want to do by ourselves. Now, I'm gonna ask you in prom, I know prom is another transition stage. So we're gonna get into debt because they want their parents to buy this dress of 1,000 pounds, they want to buy this shoe, they want to buy these designers. I was so blessed to call in my daughter. I know I let me just tell you this now. I was telling, ah, I was in the conference, I was telling everybody, uh, my daughter sound god, my daughter's prom not break the bank because you know your mother, I would not give you that money. So, how did you organize yourself for prom for someone that you know they're gonna be doing their prom next year? What's the best advice that you can give? Because I know yours was just so effortless for me. Thank you for that.

SPEAKER_01: 39:25

Start picking your dress at the start of year 11, so then you have it, and it's um because if you do it before, it's like on sale, so then you can get it for a cheaper price, and then also plan the hairstyle you're gonna do and how you're gonna do your makeup ahead of time. Because if you don't, then you're just rushing like the week before, it's just gonna be like too much, and then you're just gonna stressed.

SPEAKER_02: 39:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 39:46

Um, and then I'd also say, well, if you get like a group car, I say plan it ahead. I didn't really need a group car because the car we had was nice enough.

SPEAKER_02: 39:54

So yeah. Okay, so we didn't break the bank. So for people out there, you don't have to break the bank to get to get on a prom, right? You're even your dress, you chose it by yourself, and you know, the price was very affordable. We're gonna do this where people, you know, you have to buy designers, and you have to buy designer shoes. You don't have to break the bank for prom. Go according to your own budgets. I I guess parents saying, Oh, my daughter wanted these designers, but I'm like, how many designers back do I even own? So, in a way, parents, we have to uh uh incorporate into our children, you know, what we can afford and what we cannot afford, so that we do not set expectations that they cannot maintain or that we lead them into a wide lifestyle to be able to maintain this fake um lifestyle that they've created for themselves in order for them to be able to manage it. So, prom, now we're gonna go to college. Have you been able to manage your transition to college? Oh, wait, before I go to college, uh you know, during the the the I know during GCSE time is very intense. How did you manage that?

SPEAKER_01: 41:08

Um, I say the well, don't revise like the week before. Just like keep revising. What once you start gear 11, you start just revising, just revising small, so then it's not like a massive amount of pressure on you when you're doing um doing your exams.

SPEAKER_02: 41:26

So building your brick by brick is better rather than rushing, rushing it. Are there other things that we did that helped you during your planning for your GCSC as well? I think parents can can take on board.

SPEAKER_01: 41:39

I had to put like my job on hold for a bit and they understood because of my GCSC. So I had to put things on hold for my GCSE. Oh, and I had like um tutoring for my um tests.

SPEAKER_02: 41:56

What else? What did we do as parents to help you?

SPEAKER_01: 41:59

Yeah, you paid my tutoring. What else? Um, you also helped me. Oh, yeah, I remember now. Um when I was advising, they would help me like with the chores around the house.

SPEAKER_02: 42:12

So you were off the shore duty. Hey, I all loved it. So if your child is preparing for GCSC, it's not the time that you say you must do your shores, just help them during that season, let them be on leave, let them rest so that it's less things on their mind to think about. Let them be please allow them to be off their shores. And after GCSE, they are gonna stay at home for a long time. And then I don't even milk too sharp. You love you love that your offshores, let it be off their shores, help them and and and things like that. Well, um, the emotional support. Well, how did how did that go for you?

SPEAKER_01: 42:54

Um, I mean, my parents and my teachers were there, so they were always like help if I needed any if if I needed any help, for example. Um like for um during my math exams, the math was like the subject that I really struggled with because I just didn't get it, but I ended up passing, so it was fine.

SPEAKER_02: 43:16

Yeah. So for anybody that is struggling with any subject now, what would you say to them that can help them, especially for GCS?

SPEAKER_01: 43:24

Um, I'd say ask your teachers for um past questions. Ask anyone you know that's like really good at the subject so I can help you and explain it because you might be able to explain it more with someone your age telling you, yeah. Um, and also like revise that subject, or you can ask parents for like tutoring with that certain subjects.

SPEAKER_02: 43:45

So it helps as well, right? Yeah, okay. All right, thank you very much, I now I'm gonna move to college, right? I know you went to college, that was so fast. How did you manage to transition to college well?

SPEAKER_01: 43:57

Um well, I would say that I had my friend group, but I didn't really have my friend group because I was the only one like doing that course. Yeah, and most of the time there's different colleges. So I'd say that in each of on the induction day, I spoke to this one girl, and we've been friends ever since. Um I'd also say speak to people that are in your classes, so then you have someone that you can talk to like in each of your classes, and then I'd also say go to the library a lot in best yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 44:26

Yeah. So you said what about people that are really, really they they struggle to making friends? What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_01: 44:34

Um I'd say after like the first week, I'd say maybe what you can like observe people, but then I'd also say in your class, if you're sat next to someone, you can just speak to them.

SPEAKER_02: 44:49

So that makes it easier, isn't it? Yeah, than going walking up to a group of people that you don't really know. So it's better to form that little chat inside the classroom, yeah, and then maybe the person will see you during lunchtime, they might then talk to you that hey, hey, how are you doing? Do you want to join us for lunch and things like that? Because for me, and I know making friends is is easy for you. I know that one you go out friends here in the air above you because when we go to town, I see people like saying, I'm like, Hey, I don't understand. Yeah, I like to more popular, and later you say it's me, but you can't walk with me on the streets on the streets without one or two persons saying hi. But when we go to town, I begin to see people say, Hey, are you? And you're like no, that was lovely to see that you were beginning to make friends, you're beginning to know more people, and and things like that. It's very good for us because that socialization, nobody is an island, is very important, and your teachers as well. Because I know there was one thing that you struggle with calling your teachers by their first name. Remember when you come back from college, you suggest me like they have to have to call her Sophia. I don't understand. What about Miss Miss Agentin? What did you struggle with in that as you call your first name?

SPEAKER_01: 46:09

For example, if you had um my psychology to Rokia, yeah, I say miss, and she'll be like, It's not miss, it's Rokia.

SPEAKER_02: 46:17

So that transitioned from calling Miss in secondary school and primary school to stay in their first name. How long did it take you? Because I'm sure for a full term, probably. Did you feel was it were you the only one that was making that mistake?

SPEAKER_01: 46:30

I was the only one. Like I didn't even know her name after I think after a few lessons I knew her name. Yeah, because I just like call her miss. Everyone would call her miss because we used to secondary school.

SPEAKER_02: 46:41

So I I I how do you feel about it now? Like now you can call her back. Yeah, it's fine, it's fine now. That was that was a funny one. That was a funny one. You trying to, you know, adjust to calling them by their name. It was a really funny one, right? Ayah, thank you so much for helping us to navigate. And another thing, again, in college, you guys just have only three subjects to do, you know. How is that for you? Because even though it's three, I know it's quite a lot of work. How are you navigating that?

SPEAKER_01: 47:12

Um, well, I do all essay-based subjects, so I have to like well with English, there's no right or wrong answer, but you have to like know quotations and everything. Law, you have to like remember laws that look like set, and then psychology, you just have 60 markers, you have um experiments, studies to remember, you have to know the eight of ones and everything, you have to know definitions. Um, and psychology is like a mix of uh biology and it's like a science. So it's like that. So I'd say um in first year, after like the introductions are done, I'd say you should go to the library a lot and like go over the PowerPoints, because it should be on like I don't know if you guys have like a model. Yeah, you need to go to module, yeah. Um, you should go on to that and like go over it and see if you like know everything. So then when it comes like the mocks, so you have like end-of-year mocks, you'll be fine. And you should be through like revising the stuff that you need to remember before you go on.

SPEAKER_02: 48:10

Yeah, I know you have very great, thank you so much. What I one thing I noticed there is like no the requirement to pass your subject, yeah, and make sure you get yourself acquainted with it by practicing over and over again. I know you have a great relationship with your tutors because I know you even send them emails at the beginning of the session and stuff like that. How are you able to build a great relationship with your tutors?

SPEAKER_01: 48:34

Um, so I'd say when because in college I just talk more because it's like there's a small amount of people, and plus we're in college and I've sort of high people, so I'd be able to like talk more in the class and like ask questions, yeah. And then also I'd be able to like stay behind the lesson because I see them around college, or I see them like if I'm a monk, I see them like walking on the road, I'd be able to talk to them. Yeah, it's just stuff like that.

SPEAKER_02: 49:02

Okay, so they said if you want to be if you want people to be friendly to you, also make yourself friendly. Yeah, that's what you've you've ended up doing. And I remember there was one thing that you did during Christmas. I was so proud of you, right? So, for example, every when you're in primary school, secondary school, I do it for all of you. At the end of the year, I always make sure I send a card and a chocolate or flowers or cup or a bag printed with the teacher's name, anything doesn't have to be expensive. I will make sure I send it to your class teachers every every end of year. I always do that. Then for celebrations like Easter and things like that, I also send like uh maybe a card or something to them. Happy Easter if they are Christians. So, what did you do from that? Tell me, tell me what you did in December.

SPEAKER_01: 49:49

I always showed I went to shops and I got these teacher mugs for a few of my teachers, and I put chocolates inside of them.

SPEAKER_02: 49:58

How did I make them? I did react to you when you did that today.

SPEAKER_01: 50:01

Um, they were all quite happy. Sophie almost cried. Um, Kim was very thankful because it was her birthday as well that day. And then John still talks about it to this day. And then he's saying on my results say he's hoping he gets something big instead.

SPEAKER_02: 50:15

Oh, that is so good. You know, you know, the things that we they say, our children do more of what we do than what we say. It is so true. What you model in front of your children is what it would take. We have to, if you want your children to learn how to build good rapport with their teachers, with their tutor, we also have to build good rapport with those teachers when we are picking them up, when we are dropping them off, and celebrate them as well because these people are with their children seven to eight hours a day, right? For six weeks, eight weeks sometimes, or seven weeks. Now, we have to also appreciate them because when you do that, your children are watching. I didn't tell Ayo to do that, she just knew that she had to appreciate her tutors at the end of the year, and that was a warmly received by the teacher. These are the ways that will build good foundation for parents that is worried that their child will not settle down in school, they are really, really worried. What would you say to that parent right now?

SPEAKER_01: 51:10

Um, I say you shouldn't worry because in college it's like more mature, so it's like no one's doing any of that like whole bullying thing, or no one's making fun of each other because you're all gonna be new, and of course the second year is like focusing on the A levels anyway.

SPEAKER_02: 51:25

So, what about those in primary in secondary school?

SPEAKER_01: 51:28

In secondary school, I'd say that you shouldn't worry because nine times out of ten they're gonna make friends by like the end of the month, so it'll be fine.

SPEAKER_02: 51:38

Okay, all right. Is there any last word? I know last time when you came, I asked you what are the things that you do for your self-care, your self-care. I know you, you are the queen of self-care, you know how to look after yourself. You're this child. So please tell us, tell us more. What are the other things that you do for your self-care? Um, I go to the gym.

SPEAKER_01: 51:58

You said that before. What else do you do? Um, I also manage my schoolwork because I'm not just like doing my schoolwork all the time.

SPEAKER_02: 52:10

Okay, I self-care now.

SPEAKER_01: 52:11

That's because how do you look at time? School can be stressful sometimes. Oh, so you mean it ah, so you do it on time, so you're not relaxing and my thing, my schoolwork.

SPEAKER_02: 52:22

Oh, you just taught me something now that self-care as well, the way you manage yourself, manage your schoolwork can be self-care, so I don't leave anything last minute. If you leave it last minute, you're gonna be rushing that you don't stress. I get it, I get it. Thank you for teaching me that. So, what else? What else do you do? Um, you sleep, so you're not gonna mention sleep.

SPEAKER_01: 52:45

I said it's um, I also sleep enough. Um what else I do?

SPEAKER_02: 52:53

You know, it's always laughing. You have a good laugh, you so you're not gonna say that too. I'm supposed to be saying all your stuff.

SPEAKER_01: 53:03

What does that do for you? This is your laugh. Uh keeps me happy. I'm always smiling.

SPEAKER_02: 53:09

Yeah, I know. I know you are okay. Do you have any other final words you want to say before we go today? I've really enjoyed this chat with you, right? And I've had good feedback from the first one that you did, and I know that um you put your heart into this to get yourself out there and just share these things from your heart. Any final word before we wrap it up?

SPEAKER_01: 53:32

Um I see to the year seven, you shouldn't begin in your boots and that you shouldn't be scared. And um, the first year is in college that you should focus on what you're doing and your subjects, and you should know like what you want to do before you put those subjects, so then you're not just like dropping out of certain new course because then you're gonna be behind when you meant to be going to uni.

SPEAKER_02: 53:57

That's absolutely true. Absolutely true. Right, thank you so much for listening to us again on Authentic Triving Podcast. I've been your host, Abia Sonia, and thank you very, very much, Ayo, from sharing for sharing from your wealth of wisdom. And I hope you will graciously come back again. If there is any topic that we feel like you can help us get into the Gen Z mind again, I hope you gladly want to uh come back again. I hope you don't mind, yeah. All right, thank you so much. Have the um have a blessed day and enjoy the rest of your time until I come your way again. Bye for now.