Motherhood In Seasons: Raising Kind Boys

We explore how seasons shape marriage, parenting, and career, and how inner peace can turn burnout into calm strength. Mo shares the choices that moved her from law to baking and from resentment to friendship and fun at home.

• redefining work life balance as seasonal, not static
• solo parenting abroad and building emotional regulation
• setting sibling culture and ending rivalry with calm rules
• using faith and scripture to reframe domestic load
• preventing resentment and nurturing intimacy in marriage
• choosing baking over law and expanding impact beyond money
• reviewing progress monthly and celebrating small wins
• practical self care: laughter, food, movement, rest, friends

Before you go, have you subscribed yet? Like, share, and comment on what resonates with you so far on this episode

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Show Purpose
• 2:36 Meet Lady Mo: Law To Baking
• 4:57 Early Marriage, Distance, First Pregnancy
• 8:27 Solo Parenting And Burnout Abroad
• 11:50 Faith As Anchor And Reframe
• 15:05 Intentional Parenting And Sibling Harmony
• 20:12 Resentment, Empty Nest Risks, And Repair
• 23:45 Marriage Friendship, Boundaries, And Time
• 27:10 Seasons Of Roles And Shared Sacrifice
• 31:05 Choosing Baking Over Law
• 35:44 Skills Transfer: Art Into Cakes
• 39:10 Redefining Impact Beyond Money
• 42:00 Progress Over Perfection And Review

Transcript

SPEAKER_04: 0:00

You live your life from the inside. So for you to be able to say, No, this is abnormal. We don't fight, your friends, how did you get to that to that level? Because that's not easy, Lady Moon.

SPEAKER_03: 0:11

Well, it wasn't always that way. So I went from another transitional period. I went from having my husband at home now and us raising our boys to feeling like the the hired help. And because they're all boys, I felt outnumbered and had little or no help, really. So you know how it is when you live abroad. You get to do all the dishes yourself, you get to do all the cleaning yourself, you do all of those things yourself. And I was getting I was getting burnt out.

SPEAKER_04: 0:45

Welcome to Authentic Travel Podcast. This is a sacred space to share so for truth that nourishes the body, rejuvenates the mind, and awakens the spirit as a trap type in my bed. I am your old happy Estonia Evans of Valpire. I am a life coach, a counselor, and a speaker who is passionate about personal transformation. I'm also an author of the book, Inner Ammony Resilience Beyond Chronic Stress and Burnout. It is available on Amazon and on my website, www.asebconsultancy.com. On this podcast, we hold space for real stories through interview and we have an honest reflection about the journey of our speakers or our guests. We share soulful conversation with them in order for us to be able to extract their lessons and how they were able to survive very difficult experiences so that we do not have to reinvent the world, but to learn from them and to grow and rise together. I also share experiences from my own life and also from what is happening in the community so that we can learn and also from a professional perspective. Because thriving isn't about just surviving the past, it's about living with courage, gratitude, and harmony for holistic well-being. Thank you for joining me. On today's episode, I have got with me the lovely, delictable, beautiful Lady Mo. That's what I call her. I call her Lady Mo. You will soon find out why I call her Lady Mo with the poise and everything. So thank you so, so much, Mo, for you know agreeing to join me in this discussion today. But before we progress, uh, if you don't know me, my name is Abia Sonia. I am the host of this podcast, and I would like you, Mo, Lady Mo, to introduce yourself to us. Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 2:45

Um my name is Mo Togan. I am um I have my background in law and I specialized in environmental law. But um in the last, I don't know, let's just say X number of years, I've chosen to go the baking path. So I've just baked my way um yeah, from when my my children were born, and I couldn't find cakes that I liked um where I live. I live in Norway. So I just baked ever since then and then became officially um a registered baker 10 years ago. So I'm celebrating 10 years this year, and I would be celebrating with a tea party next month. So I'm really excited about that. But yeah, so that's pretty much about me in a nutshell. I'm married and I have four boys.

SPEAKER_04: 3:34

Wow, thank you so much, Lady Moore. 10 years, congratulations! Thank you. Wow, that is amazing, really amazing. So, um, today we're just going to discuss about times and seasons because um, as a counselor, I've come to notice that the source of frustration for many of us is not because um where we are, how I say it's not because we don't have a job or because we don't have a family or things like that. Most of the time is as a result of we trying to do this work-life balance that a lot of people talk about, work-life balance. And when you find yourself struggling with that, you feel like, oh, I'm not good enough, or sometimes you might end up burn up like like I did. I I had a burnout experience um several times that I decided that okay, there must be something I'm doing wrong. So uh, and I know you've gone through so many transitions in your life, you know, the transitions in various ways. And I would just like to, what what is the when when they talk about times and season, what comes up for you? Uh how do you how have you experienced that?

SPEAKER_03: 4:48

Okay, um, well, you talked about me having gone through different transitions in life, and that's very true. So uh I can start first by telling you about when I got married. So I got married to my sweetheart and husband, and he um he lived in Saudi Arabia when I met him. And I thought, you know, how are we going to do this? Anyway, we we caught it for two years and then finally got married, and he was still in Saudi Arabia. Wow, and it was one of the toughest times of my life. So I'm one of those people that are very fertile. So I got I got pregnant almost immediately after I probably the night I got married, I don't know, but you know, almost immediately.

SPEAKER_01: 5:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 5:31

And and I had him still in Saudi Arabia.

SPEAKER_01: 5:34

Wow.

SPEAKER_03: 5:35

So I I was pregnant and I did the whole journey by myself or until I had my baby. Um, he came on home because he was um uh about um two months away and about two weeks at home at the time. So um, but we didn't, you know, when he was at home, we were not, it was just us. So I didn't have all that gooey experience about you know growing the baby, going through the process with him and everything. Now, my sister, older sister, was pregnant at exactly the same time that I was. Yeah, and she had her husband, and they bought books and they talked about the baby, the growth, the development, and I would go and stay over at theirs because I was on my own. Um, so I would go over and stay at theirs and sometimes would cry because I felt like I was doing this all by myself. So that was a major transition in my life. And but then again, I I realized that it was a season and I knew that it wouldn't last for long. I hoped it wouldn't last for long anyway. So I I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I just, you know, I just kept praying. Eventually, um, he was moved back to England, and my mom said when I told her the good news, she said, I am so happy for you. You were praying like a mad woman. So I was like, Yes, and you know, God answers prayers. So that that was a major transition, and I think that just kind of propelled me into what the future held for me. Yeah, now I look back and I I I'm like, wow, you know, God really had a plan. So that propelled me because then I was going into the unknown and adventure this time, I didn't know exactly what to expect. So then I went on. So now I had him at home, but then he was still traveling with his work. And then I ended up having two more children in quick successions, and I spent half of the time just taking care of them myself. Yeah, maybe more than half of the time, even. So my children and my boys are very calm boys. You can tell a woman raised them largely, very calm. They don't fight, they talk a lot, they debate a lot. No, nobody's raising anybody's voice, you know. So, but you can tell that I had a hand in that, definitely. The first time I saw them on top of each other when they were little, I was like, no, no, no, no. And my husband, he was home from wherever he went to, and he said, Well, they're boys, they're supposed to be doing that. I said, No, no, I didn't. We didn't have that in my family growing up. So I was like, No, not we didn't have that in my family, so you know, surely we can't this can't be the case. So he was like, Well, that's our boys. I said, No, no, I'm not having that, and everything. And I told them that they were best friends to one another, so that was the end. Never did that again. I never saw them on top of each other again. That was the last first and last time. That is it's so interesting.

SPEAKER_04: 8:35

I just thought that is a good moment to just, I don't know, to just like pause, like he's saying, Oh, this is normal, right? And then you were saying that abnormality that no, no, no, you guys are not going to be you, you, you are, you know, my sister do she does that with her boys, and um, I remember when we went to visit them and I saw both of them, they were um they were not in a very, very good mood because they had fallen out, and then the younger one looked at him, he said, I need a time off from you right now. I'm like, oh I was looking at them, he said, I need a time off from you right now. And the brother was like, Okay, I'll give you time to cool off, and he just walked away, and then the other one just stayed there. So I was looking at him, I'm like, Wow, my sister has done such an amazing job, and I thought I was going to add that, so I was getting schooled by my nephews, and he he is just um he was just seven years old, and then the other one was just um um nine years old when I'd witnessed that. I was I was really, really impressed with that emotional intelligence. It just said, I need a break from you right now, and I didn't know I said, Okay, that's okay. You just let it walk away, but later they they were they were they were fine again, so it they knew that the steam was was was was getting high and they didn't want it to spill over, so they needed a break for one another to go and process whatever it is, and I thought that was a beautiful thing. So, what you've done as well is like don't fight, you are best of friends. That is really good because one thing I have noticed is when people are doing a lot of work raising the children, uh, most of the time by themselves, they get frustrated, they get easily irritated, they get overwhelmed, they experience this roller coaster of emotion. It's almost as if they are upset that I'm the one that is looking after this children by my own, and my husband is traveling around. You know, there are some people they are here, and their husband is somewhere here, uh somewhere else. And I and I see them that they get sometimes they look uncurved. You can see that even they themselves they are screaming that I want to break. I'm just wondering, how did you manage to regulate yourself so much that even the love from you was oozing out on the children for you to tell them that oh no, no, no, there must be something because I believe that you live your life from the inside. So for you to be able to say, no, this is abnormal, we don't fight, you're friends. How did you get to that to that level? Because that's not easy, Lady Morgan.

SPEAKER_03: 11:16

Well, it wasn't always that way. So I went from another transitional period. I went from having my husband at home now and us raising our boys to feeling like the the hired help. And because they're all boys, I felt outnumbered and had little or no help really. So you know how it is when you live abroad. You get to do all the dishes yourself, you get to do all the cleaning yourself, you do all of those things yourself. And I was getting, I was getting burnt out. I was, but I had only one person to lean on, and that was God. Wow. So I what I did was I I said to God, I said, surely this can't be your plan for women, you know, that this is terrible. This can't be your plan, and I know you plan good things, so I I I really reached out to God because I was like, I was feeling like, you know, I don't know, this can't be it, you know. Yeah so I reached out to God, and there was a scripture that God just said to me, just dropped in my spirit, and it was um, I think it's in uh Colossians 3 23. I can't remember, but it says, I know what it says. It says, Um, whatever you do, you do as unto God and not unto any man, knowing that with God you have your reward. Wow. So basically, you know, everything I was doing, and I was hoping to get thank you for or help for, you know, I thought God was saying, Don't expect anything, just know that you're doing it as unto me because I will reward you at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_01: 12:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 12:51

So when I I didn't, you know, obviously that was another season in my life where I was like, wow, okay, God, if this is how you operate, then women are not really the underdog, then we can actually rise to be something.

SPEAKER_01: 13:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 13:07

So, because I I kept recounting, I was like, you leave your father's house, you move in with this strange man, even though you're in love with him and everything, he's still a strange man, he's not your brother, he's not your father. You're moving with him, then you have to start developing a different culture from where you came from. You know, you then you see you both develop your own culture, not so much his, not so much yours. It's a fusion of cultures, and then you know, you're the one that gets pregnant, you carry the child for nine months and all of that, you know, everything just seemed unfair. But when I read that scripture, it just opened a different avenue to my life, and I began to realize that if God planned all of this and marriage is his institution, then taking care of children is a part of it, and I just needed to learn from him. And so after that, that that scripture journeyed me into another scripture, which is in Matthew, that says, Um, come on to me, all those that are burdened and are heavy laden, and I'll give you rest. Yeah, and Jesus didn't stop there, he said, learn of me, because my burden is easy and my yoke is light. So I was like, I just need to learn of you then, you know. So this was the turning point in my life. I kid you not, when it came to raising children. From that moment, I realized that it was an assignment from God, and I had to do it to the best of my ability. It was like a test I had to pass and I had to excel at it, not just pass with a pass mark. I had to get an A, you know, on it and everything. So I was um it was that was it really. Those two scriptures just propelled me, and so I began to raise differently. So I thought instead of what people will consider the norm, how do I raise boys that would, you know, another woman would marry in the future and will thank me for raising these kind of men, yeah, you know, so had to raise them to be to be not overly sensitive, but to be in tune with their surroundings, to be observant, because I noticed that a lot of men are not so observant. So I would play games like I spy with them on our way to school to see if they observe things, and you know, we we played a lot of games to just get their concentration um in the right place and their focus, and you know, just many things that I'd noticed about men in general or boys in general. So I wanted to do it differently, and then I told them, you know, your best friends, I didn't want sibling rivalry because I'd heard a lot about it, and I said, you know, we're not having that here. Yeah, we're going to love one another, we're going to hug a lot, and we're going to, you know, talk a lot together. Yeah. And I learned a little bit from my background, of course, because my father was big on, you know, learning a lot from one another, hugging a lot, and having roundtable discussions, even when we didn't want to, we're like, no, we need to discuss this. And at the end of the day, he probably had the final say, but you know, he gave us that audience. So it was a reverse psychology. And I thought, I think I can borrow from that as well. And so I used that a lot with um with my boys in raising them. So, and then I didn't even realize what I had done until people started saying, How did you do it? How did and people would ask me for tips and everything? And I thought, doesn't everybody raise their children that way? And I realized that, oh wow, that because I asked God, He gave me the wisdom, and then I took it for granted, of course. So that was another season, um, having to raise them and mold them into hopefully the way that they should go so that when they grow up, they don't depart from it.

SPEAKER_04: 16:54

That's amazing. You know, I like I always tell my children, I said, it doesn't matter what you're looking for in this world, all the answers they are in the Bible. Because what you just said now, you went to God for wisdom in James 1, verse 5. He said, if any of you lack wisdom, he said you should ask, and he will give it to you in abundance, right? That's what it said, yes, and you you've just done that, and true to his word, he did bring, it did answer you, he did give you the wisdom that you needed part-time to do that, which was why you were parenting from your inner peace, exactly, no longer as a burden, no, no, wow, no, that was it, really.

SPEAKER_03: 17:45

That I mean, I didn't expect I couldn't have given it a better expression than you have done, to be honest, but that was actually it. It was parenting from the from my inner peace, it wasn't burdensome anymore, it wasn't, you know, and then I had a period when my husband had to again work away from home, and I was alone with three boys, um, you know, and everybody kept asking me how I was coping. But and I remember saying to a friend of mine that I don't understand why you keep asking me this question. I said, I said, I haven't got time to think, I just get on with it. Because I was like, you know, because if I thought, if I stopped a moment to think, I would get depressed, you know, I'll I'll I'll really be because you then start processing the whole thing and over processing it even. Yes, and then you start, you know, like something you said earlier, you you start getting upset with the man, forgetting that he's actually going away to work for the family. Yes, you can you start almost feeling like he's on a holiday, and you almost and then you almost start resenting what he's doing and resenting him instead of cheering him on and just uh keeping yourself at peace, you know.

SPEAKER_05: 19:02

And so that sorry to interrupt you then.

SPEAKER_04: 19:07

It's interesting you say that you start resenting the man. I do couples counselling, and there is something that I've observed. The marriages that break down a lot these days, they are not the two years, five years marriages. I'm talking about the 25 years, the 30 years and above, they are the ones the ones that are now called the empty nesters, and the reason a lot of them are breaking up is that what you just said previously about having that resentment, and then it just builds up over time because the man is making a compromise by working, um, whatever he can lay his hands on, right? Exactly, and if it requires him to travel, he will travel, but then again, remember is he's he's had is contributing financially, and most times he used some to the running of the home, of course, however, the wife is also compromising because she may not be able to work full-time, she may do part-time, or most times just be at home, but she is also sacrificing. But the the the the uh the way I would put it, the father's uh money by the presence, the mother's sacrifice is the presence, they give them the presence, right? Right, and when you give them that, now the children will bond a lot with the wife, and then not so much with their father, so a lot of intentionality is needed there, and then this woman, you mustn't um you have to be very intentional not to also resent the man because one thing I've noticed there are people that the children have left the house, they realize that they've never been in a marriage for a while, they have been project coordinators, and the project was their children, that's right, and now that the project is over, the two of them are looking at each other like strangers. That's right, the man is probably near retirement, and the woman, because she had her hands full with the children. Now they've all gone. Now the resentment that was buried and suppressed a while ago is being reignited because now nobody, no project for her home. So when the mouth comes, it's like she's looking at her like okay, whatever. And before you know it, divorce, they're asking for divorce. That and they go for irreconcilable differences, differences, yeah, that's right. Is it's strange because the the it's very subtle, very subtle that goes down, comes up, goes down, goes up, comes down, comes up, and before you know it, the the the results shows. So it's amazing when you use that word. So, what about your husband? Did your relationship did did it?

SPEAKER_03: 22:20

In this transitional period, well, my husband and I have an amazing relationship, so we're friends first and foremost. Wow, and we laugh together, we have good laughs and everything. So I can say, I can speak to me to him from my heart. Of course, some things you suppress, but I can also speak to him from my heart. So I remember that there was a time that he used to, even after he came back, he was always bringing work home. And I had to tell him, I said, you know what, my love, I don't really I want to spend the evenings with you. I don't really want you to bring people home. He said, of course, it was he had to, but I I saw that he tried and he didn't bring too much work home. Yeah, and then when then I understood that it was something he couldn't help. So we had to find other ways. So then we would go on what a lot of people take for granted, just going out on our own. Yeah, you know, just leaving the children with somebody and disappearing, just so that we could spend time with each other. So we were we've been very intentional about that. Yeah, and I remember another stage when he was again home, wasn't away with work, but he was working a lot, and I said to him, I said, Do you know this is the reason? I said, I don't want you to be making all the money and by the time you've made it, I'm not here. And he said, he said, Wow, that's you know, he thought about it and he was like, Oh my goodness, that somebody had just left his uh um her husband, some popular person at that point, and they'd been married for like about 25 years. It was a a known person, I don't remember the person now, somewhere someone in the media. So he said, Oh my goodness, that this is how people actually leave after that long because and then you think, but he's he was working away, making all the money and everything, but she wasn't happy. And she didn't want she didn't marry you to become a doll in your house to be on the mantelpiece. She she needs companionship, she needs communication, she needs all of those things. And you're not there because you're just feeling the financial aspect of things, which don't buy a lot of our feminine emotions. Yes, it buys our material emotions, because then we we say, okay, I want the you know, expensive this and expensive that, and we want to spoil ourselves, but uh, you know, our spiritual and physical and you know internal emotions need a lot more than those material things. So at the end of the day, you look at all the material things and they're not making you happy anymore. Yes, you know. I don't know how many times somebody is I can give an example of myself, you know. I think, oh, I like this bag and everything, and and I buy the bag, and it's a bit expensive. And then the day after, it's like it's just a bag. Oh what does he tell me? It's not the money I'm after, it's the relationship, the companionship, the laughs, the jokes, you know, the teases and everything. They may not come every single day, but they must come every once in a while. Yeah, you know, and it just refreshes things, you know. It just makes me think, oh, I mean, conversation I had with my husband today, my husband's working away at the moment, and and he pronounced something and I corrected him. And he said, I was waiting for you to correct him. Oh my wife, I know you. And I laughed. I said, Of course I'll correct you. What do you take me for? That you know, he goes, Do you know, ever since we be when we were dating, you corrected me on things and everything. I said, Yeah, of course I correct you. And we laughed about it and all of that, you know. You know, so we can be friends and be honest with ourselves. A lot of relationships lack honesty with ourselves and with our spouses, to the point that we can't be open with with one another and tell, and especially the women, you know, we women we bottle up so much, and then we can't tell our husbands, I don't, I don't like this, I don't want to do this. But I made up my husband has traveled a lot with his work. I've been alone a lot in the years we've been married. I've been alone a lot, but I came to one conclusion at the beginning of our you know, our relationship, yeah, or our marriage rather, that unless I was willing to give him another job and pay his salary, then I need to just be quiet and just trust God for where he's taking us with all of this. Because I can't pay him, I can't get him another job. It's his career. You might say, Oh, yeah, but it's his career, and then mine gets suppressed. But you need to understand that somebody has to do something, yes, and if he's doing it, the other person has to take care of the home. You have to invest in the children because if you don't, and it's only for a short while. Yes, we're talking about seasons, trust me, it's only for a short while. Because from the age of babyhood to 10, you, the mother, you're the primary caregiver, you're so important to that child, whether it's male or female. You know, you need to give. You're pouring, pouring, pouring. From the age of 10 or thereabout, maybe 11 even. That child needs his father. He's seeing the world as it is, he needs a bit more. He needs to know his father now, as because before then he's with mommy and he loves mommy. Mommy can kiss him, hug him, everything. But trust me, after that 10, he doesn't want mommy to kiss him, hug him, anything, especially not in mommy. You kiss, they wipe it off, you know. Like, oh mommy, you know, and everything. They don't want to call you to even they don't want to call you mommy in front of their friends already at that stage. So it tells you that they their needs have shifted, it's become different. At that point, they need their fathers. Because from that 10 until they go to um secondary school, yes, they need different, especially both boys and girls, yes, they need because they need to know that they the for the girl, she needs to know that she's validated by her father, and her father is a protector, yeah, and her provider, you know. And then the boys, they need to know that they must have backbone, they must be, you know, upstanding men, you know, and they need to have talks with their fathers about how to succeed in life, how to have you know relationships and all of those things that the woman can't give. Yeah, you know, so it's it's um so I came to realize that early on, and I thought I can't pay his salary, I can't give him another job, so I can only support him and pray for my time to come. And over the years, you know, my son my husband would would say, you know, he would honestly would say, Would you want to, you know, get a job and everything? And I would say, and leave the children for who? I'm not leaving my children in the hands of anybody else but me, you know, and I would just stay. So I have been the one that have said, Um, how can I also to make myself to contribute a little bit as well and to make me feel good? What can I do? So I couldn't practice law when I moved to Norway because it's a different language, yeah, true. It's a different system. So I had to. First, learn the language and then study the law. And then I studied the law. And then I thought, is this really what I want? So I then have gone back to just um, or should I say, continued with my baking.

SPEAKER_05: 30:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 30:15

My husband thinks it's a hobby. I'm not making so much money from it, but I'm like, hobby or not, hobby. It's keeping me happy. I'm not complaining too much to you. We're having peace in our home, and I'm making a little, and I feel happy, you know, and I feel like I'm contributing somewhat, you know. Maybe not maybe not a lot, but at least I'm contributing somewhat. And you have peace with your work, you have peace with everything you're doing. So at the end of the day, it's a win-win situation. And I think a lot of women we forget our positions, you know. When God created Eve for Adam, it was because Adam was sad being alone. He didn't see anyone that looked like him, anyone he could relate with. They were all animals and trees and all sorts of things around him. True. And then God said, You know, I think you need a help meet.

SPEAKER_01: 31:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 31:03

He could have made another man, but he saw that the animals were male and female. Why should I make him another man? You know, so he decided to okay. So he decided to um make him a woman. And then he said, You know, you've been okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 31:21

So I know you talk about the herbs and God creating a woman to ensure that um Adam has a helpment. But it was something that you said, you said you found something to do, even though it's not contributing much. I just want us to explore that. How do we how do we uh measure what is contributing much and not? Because I'm quite aware that you do very lovely kicks, right? But not only that, you also teach people as well. So when we are quantifying this impact, are we quantifying it? Are we stopping at the financial part of it? Because finances was created by human beings, right? But you transferring that skills to someone else, we don't know who that person is going to transfer that skills to. You will never be able to quantify the difference that you have contributed to that person, right? And you're not just teaching them how to bake cake, you are thinking you are you are instilling confidence in that woman, you are helping them to restart their life again. And I know that anybody spent a few minutes with you, we learn more than cake from you. We learn other things, they have to coordinate themselves, how to believe in themselves, because you have this way of pouring into people. So I just thought I would just quickly just drop that in there that we mustn't stop for any woman out there, any man out there, before you talk about or measure your contribution, don't stop or begin with finances, right? Start with time because the time you invest in those people, you can never get it back. And remember, you got this contract, the way you got that contract was another level, right? Was another level in training other people. Not a lot of people are favored in that direction, but you took it upon yourself, went through all the process, and you got that, right? And you are your community, you are building relationships in your community. A mother has been trained, will probably transfer that to the child, transfer that to the niece, transfer that to another person again. So we can't really quantify when we're talking about impact. I don't start or begin with money, I'm thinking about how far would this person that have poured in, how far will it go with them in making that difference. So, Lady Mo, you are making a huge loss of differences. It doesn't start or begin with money because there are certain things that money cannot buy. Like this time that you're giving to us, I can't pay you for this. I can't possibly pay you for this, right? Because this time we will never get this time again, but you've gifted it to us, and I really appreciate that. So, some people like just talk, it's not just stock, you've imparted us with your wisdom and lived experiences, which you cannot Google. We can't get from Google, right?

SPEAKER_03: 34:26

No, they are a result on it.

SPEAKER_04: 34:31

So, yeah, um, you're talking about the experiences, and your husband has also um you you you you you were very good with communicating and being honest with him, and he himself will also have to really give kudos to your husband as well for allowing you to hold him accountable as well, because some people um they they struggle with people holding them accountable and they're going on the defensive that no no no and they don't take on board what we are saying. So it's a good thing that he also allowed you, listen to you. Communication is a two way you speak, listen, take action, and then we'll communicate back. So I'm glad that both of you you build on your communication and utilize very effectively. So that's that's a great thing, isn't it? Lady Mo.

SPEAKER_05: 35:18

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04: 35:19

Yes, so stay still on the seasons, right? So I know you've been through those seasons now whereby um, you know, your husband traveling a lot, and then your career, you just you know, that's a brave move, Lady Mo. Because law, I know law is not is is it's very, very it takes a lot from from people when they are studying it. How did you get that conviction in you that this is not what I want to pursue? Because you've done it twice, you did it, you studied back home in Nigeria, and then you did it, you you learned no Norwegian language, and then you have to study the law and still did not convince you that you should carry on. How did you get that strong conviction and the fulfillment that I'm not doing it, but I'm still feeling fulfilled in my life?

SPEAKER_03: 36:10

I I think um, you know, um I'm a Christian. Maybe I should have said that from the beginning, and I'm not just a Christian, I love the Lord, and you know, he's my father, really. And I just always want to hear well done, you know, when where I'm concerned with God. So whether I'm dealing with people or dealing with myself, you know, I want to hear at the end of the day, well done. You know, I want to please my father. So I studied law um uh in England, and in my second year, my my sister, my my my father had asked my sister to tell me to because my sister studied law as well, right? And and she she um um she's a judge now in she she so she was she was told because she just finished then and I was doing her master's in England. I was in six things at the time, and my father had um spoken to her to tell me to um prepare me to do petroleum law, to end up in petroleum law, yeah. I suppose because of Nigeria and everything. So um, so I I had had that in my head for all those years, and then in my second year at uni, I just thought, I don't think I want to do law. I don't think I want to do law and everything. So I was like, but I knew I didn't want to go to court and to you know be a defense lawyer and to do all of those things. I said, maybe I'll be a solicitor and not a barrister and just stick to be the one to give people that kind of brief to go to court and everything. So, but then I still had to finish my law degree, so I finished it and very restless within me as to what I wanted to do. Eventually, I did go to court a few times and everything, and I found it it just seemed like a marketplace for me. So I was like, I'm not really sure. And then I thought about all the cases that would be there for like years. I was like, oh my goodness, you know, I'm not really caught up for this. But I I was caught up for the solicitor side of it, the paperwork, the legislations, the interpretation of law, and all of those things. So I really um was interested in that aspect. So when I came to Norway, I was still I just finished like maybe two years before, so I was still very eager and everything. But when I came and I had to learn the language, I was like, okay, learn the language, but it wasn't enough. You still had to go to either the um, you had to train under uh their uh a lawyer here and everything. So I was like, oh my goodness, you know, I think to change my my certificate and be able to work here, I would have to I would have had to spend like three years or so. Oh I just thought, you know what, there must be another way. So I stumbled upon baking. Like I said, I couldn't find cake that's um suited. And my my my sons were very ambitious, they would want all these character cakes that I did, I had no idea how to make. So I thought, well, I was good in fine art. So I drew a lot and I I drew my boys, I drew myself, my, you know, and I drew things for myself and everything. I would put a potter plant in front of me and I'll draw it. So I was good in fine art. So then I started working at the kindergarten to after I finished my Norwegian classes, yeah, they recommended you learn at the kindergarten or in old people's home or you know, the shops. So I thought, old people's home, I don't think so. I said shops, and then I thought, children, yeah, that's what I'm used to anyway. I have children at home. So for me, it wasn't it was a good thing. So I got a job at the kindergarten, and everybody said, How can you leave your children to go to children? I was like, you don't get it. It's the only thing I know to do right now, and I'm and I enjoy it, so why not? So I enjoyed it so much, and I started drawing even more there. The more I drew, the more you know the children would wow. And I was like, okay, you know, so so I just kept drawing. And when I would when I was asked to make those cakes by the boys, I had no tools whatsoever, but I could draw. So I would draw and place it on you know, my fundants or whatever, cut it out and everything, and the magic was done. I had no training in baking, nothing whatsoever. It was just, you know, as I went with the whole thing. But my my my sisters, when I was growing up, they baked a lot. And they, you know, I was their taster. I didn't bake because it was that's what I thought, but I was their taster, I was always available to taste for them. So so I I'd asked one of them for uh chocolate cake recipe, and she sent it to me, and I asked for vanilla as well, sent to me, and it was one of my son's birthdays, and I made his first birthday cake. I had no clue to show you how clueless I was. I had no clue about cakes at all. I didn't even I took the cake right out of the oven, put Smarties on it, and I and I took it out for the guests, and we started cutting up the cake, and one of them said, Oh, it's still warm. And I was like, Yeah, that's the best way to eat it. You know, I had no clue whatsoever. So I just winged it all the way until you know, I I learned more as I went on practice, really. Yeah, just as I went on and everything. So I mean, the whole point of telling you this story is just to show you the process. So it wasn't that um, you know, I just decided not for to not not to go with the law anymore, but yeah, I found passion in something else, and I thought, wow, this this gave more joy instead of trying to defend people or you know, all of that and everything, I thought, you know what, I'm creating joy here. People were happy seeing their you know, cakes and eating cakes. The reaction on the faces of people as time went by when I made those cakes just gave me such a rewarding feeling that I thought, you know what? Instead of going to the office every day, stressing myself and doing all of those things that this is good. I can I have my own time, I can joggle my time, I can be with my children, I can do everything. I can decide not to take a cake order if I didn't want to, if I felt tired.

SPEAKER_01: 42:43

Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_03: 42:44

So I decided at that point. So I actually spoke with my sister and she said, you know what, you're so talented in many things. And she she I think she catalogued three things that I was really good at. And she said, just choose one. Because we know whichever one you you choose, you do well at it. Just choose one, though. So that was my greatest problem choosing, because I could have done anything. And but when she said just choose one, I thought, okay, I'll choose what's what I'm passionate about, what's kind of easy. I'm just slipping into it, which was the case. So, because experimenting and doing this and doing that was fun. So I thought, okay, I'll just slip into that one and we'll see where it takes me and everything. So I slipped into that and I just carried on uh from there. So so really I it was a sacrifice, and my sister reminded me my dad had passed away um um somewhere along the line, anyway. So my sister said, It's that I just wondered if he had been alive, what he would have thought about you and everything. I said, Well, you know, maybe God knows, and maybe it's a good thing he's not because this is what I'm enjoying at the moment, and I'm grateful for that and everything. So, yeah, it happened upon me, but I'm really grateful for it because it gave me that time to just be there for my family.

SPEAKER_01: 44:05

Yeah, and it's another season.

SPEAKER_03: 44:08

You know, yeah, and it that season will not last very long. Because once the children get older, they you don't they don't need you as much as then. So you and I each stage of their lives you know needs you less. Yeah. Each and every so when they became teenagers, I remember praying, and I was like, oh god, you know, I had all these horrible stories about teenagers, boys, and everything. You know, I had to pray, you know, that they wouldn't be excuse me, wayward, they wouldn't go with you know bad company and things like that. That stage required to do certain things differently, and I also knew I couldn't talk to them in a certain way anymore, yeah, and all of that, you know. So it's every stage is a season as well, and you have to be able to discern what season you're in to be able to know how to behave, how to position yourself because the seasons keep changing, yeah, and you have to position yourself for that change. You have to be ready for the change because it's not always going to be the same, and it's not constant, thank God, you know, it's not going to last forever. But a lot of people forget, they they get stuck in that one season and don't want to move from there, and they don't even want to make allowance for the next season because they're so stuck in that season because of the way they feel, they feel you know, like they're being used and abused, and we all feel that way, especially women abroad. I don't know about you, but I felt that way once upon a time. But um, you know, that season also passes. The season where I did all the laundry for the whole family has passed. I don't do that anymore. The season where I did all the cleaning and everything has passed. I don't do that anymore. Because they're older, they can do things themselves, but we all forget that things will change and we get so stuck where we are, and then you know, even with our spiritual seasons, you know, where God wants us to be. This is for all the Christians out there, you know, but where God wants us to be at every point in time, things will change, but you've got to be ready for those changes. And and we which is why I I you know I mentioned a little bit to you about how I assess the months that have gone by. I'm not rushing towards December because I'm like, oh, by the end of the year, I want to have achieved this. No, I'm looking at the my achievements as we go along. Yeah, and it don't have to be physical achievements, they don't have to be financial achievements. Most of the time for me, they're spiritual achievements, how to and personal achievements, things that maybe have been an issue for me. I want to improve on them, you know. I want to improve a skill, I want to gain a skill, I want to do certain things. So those are seasons as well. And they will come. And you're not always going to think, Oh, I need to improve on my skills. So, so I'll give you a very good example. I learned music growing up and I played the piano, but then for years I've just left it. But we when we were moving to Norway, we went into this antique shop in London and um and we saw a uh piano there. And I said to my husband, Oh, why piano? And he was like, Oh, let's get it. So we got that piano and we had it at home. And of course, the boys got older, they would fiddle with it. The ones that were interested, I was sent to piano classes and everything. And then my last one came and I thought, you know what? You don't even play any instruments, let me teach you the piano. So I started. And then eventually I was like, Oh, you know, maybe I should send you to a piano class and everything. So I sent him, and the piano instructor then said, Oh, you know, that um I also take adults and everything. So I said, Oh, that's great. I said, Maybe you you maybe I should take piano classes again, and he was like, Okay, that that's interesting. And I said, Yeah, and I said, I can play, I can I can read music, I studied music. I said, but the thing is, I learned about chords. Somebody told me that it's easier to play with chords. I said, but that I never learned because I was never I learned classical, so I never learned to play chords. So he said, Yeah, then I can teach you chords. So I've started taking piano classes, but strictly to play chords, yes, and I'm enjoying it. It's that, and I told my husband, I was like, corporate, you know. So I'm enjoying it. So I got his approval as well. I'm enjoying it. It's actually another season of my life. Now, would this how long would this end uh last? Well, I don't know, but right now I'm enjoying it on the way to the next season, and that's the most important, yeah. You know, yeah, so there are many things, and our lives are full of just like our ages are changing and the years are changing, the seasons come and they go, and we just need to remember that there is nothing constant in life, except for God. You know, there's nothing constant, and we just need to go with the flow, just go walking with God, trusting that he's with you in each and every season. After all, the Ecclesiastes talks about the seasons and says the times and seasons of our lives are in the hands of God, so and he makes all things beautiful in his time. That's also seasonal, you know. Yes, so we we need to just trust God that he knows exactly what suits us and where we're where he's going with us. We may not see it, we may not understand it, but you know, if we continue to walk in sync with him, in agreement with him, then we'll get to destination and we'll be happy when we get there.

SPEAKER_04: 49:50

Definitely, definitely. This episode is sponsored by ASAP Consultancy, a whole personal transformation for the mind, body, and soul. If you're ready to rise a go out, move away from depression, heal anxiety, breakfast from traumatic emotional pain, and live with confidence in order for you to build quality, for you to move from surviving to thriving. Why don't you visit our website www.aseconsultancy.com. We'll support you through counseling, life coaching, and other trauma recovery programs, grief courses, and it will even offer one at a time therapy. All of these services is available virtually, so you do not even have any excuse of saying you do not want to leave your home. You have everything from the comfort of your home will support you to move from surviving to thriving. Before you go, have you subscribed yet? Like, share, and comment on what resonates with you so far on this episode. If you have not done so, why don't you just click that button now? Thank you. Back to the program now. The the the joy doesn't come when we get to the destination. The joy is when we enjoy the process as we are going to the destination. Because we are leaving, we don't know. You know, I've seen recently a lot of quotes about when you use money, you know the balance in your account. When you look at the time, you know what time it is. However, life is the only thing that never you never know the balance. Yeah, you never know when your time is going to be up. So, where when do you know if you're going to reach that destination you're talking about? And what is that destination? How did you even come up with that destination? Because if it's a yeah, because if it is a destination to get a degree in three, four years depends on what you're doing, or maybe it's a master's 18 months, two years, you're done. So when you get to that, are you not going to say, Yeah, I'm here now, I'm never gonna leave. What are you gonna do? Then you assess another one again. He said that the goal cope, the goal post keep moving and moving. That's right, which is why they said humans need is in it, isn't uh insatiable, insatiable, yes, insatiable because we just keep wanting and wanting and wanting. So if you're waiting until you buy a house before you are happy, when you buy that house, then you're not saying, Oh, like someone told me I bought a house, but I've been sleeping on the floor for the past. I said, What happened? He said, The funnel that I ordered, it is not coming, and it was during the Christmas period. So I've just been sleeping on the sofa on the just the mattress on the floor, but I'm thinking you were waiting to get this house. Now you got a house, you're telling me another story. So so if you're waiting to be joyful when you get a mortgage, if you are waiting to be joyful when you buy your your your favorite car, your favorite car will soon become an old car once you are, and then you want a new one. If you're waiting to be happy when your husband starts behaving in a certain way, if you're waiting to be happy when you have certain balance, you don't you don't go overdrawn in your account. Seriously, those are external things. And I tell you what, if external factors are controlling your joy, your happiness, and your peace, you will never be happy. That's right, it is only when your peace comes from the inside that's right that is where you find contentment and fulfillment. So if you are out there today, you think it's when I get married, or when I find a partner, or when I hone this or that, you're gonna be happy. I'm telling you, those are the external factors. That's right. Focus on building the internal factors in your life, which is peace, which is getting to know yourself, getting to dwell in the presence of God, and then by the time you find this, you see that these external things they do not regulate your internal peace anymore. Instead, you become a thermostat because the presence of God is coming from the inside and it's flowing out. If you allow the outside world to be your thermostat, you always be the thermometer that will be reading the temperature and you'll be getting frustrated. Because what I hear you say, Lady Mo is you communicated with your husband very well, and one thing you ran to the one who is the author and the finisher of your fate. You ran to him, and he gave you the wisdom per time. And another thing that you did again, you did not start comparing your life and saying, If I become a lawyer, then I will live a flashy life. I can take a picture and put it on social media, looking fulfilled and other people that are not like oh lady boy is slay, she's making it. No, you didn't think about that. You were authentic with yourself, and there was a lot of self-awareness from what you were saying. You weigh the old thing, and you're thinking, if I do this, if I do that, what's gonna happen? Okay, what else am I good at? What else am I good at? We're talking about the parable of the talent, right? The parable of the talent is talking about one, two, and five. The same thing with us, the Bible lives in us. We are the Bible, the continuation of the Bible. That's true. You see, nobody has one talent. I'm just telling you now, if you if you don't believe me, sit down and think about other things that you're good at. If you are good at wanting, maybe you need to ask other people to observe you and tell you the things they believe that you are good at. You realize that you are good and more than wanting pattern. Now you evaluated that for those of you that are feeling unfulfilled, because you are maybe you are in your autumn season, or maybe you are in your winter season, you are trying to compare your life with those that are in their spring and summer. I'm here to tell you today, listen very well, rewind this and replay it over and over again. Know what else you are good at, and you can also explore that because Lady Mo, that's what you did, right? That's what you did. You explore other things that you are good at, and then you did not just stop at the mediocre state, you develop it bit by bit gradually, and you are good at it now, you are great at it. So the beginning doesn't really matter. It's the truth, though. The beginning doesn't really matter whether you start small, as long as there is progress, it's not perfection. We are looking at you, we are looking at progress as you go along, which is that review that you say you also do, you review yourself and then you're assessing yourself, and then you are moving on to the next stage gradually as you're going along. Wow, yes, you know. Me, I can talk with you for four hours, and then we are not going to stop. Thank you so so much. And thank you so much for that. I know I know that there will be someone that will listen to this podcast and know that it doesn't matter the time that you feel you've wasted, it doesn't matter that about the time that you feel has been stolen from you, it doesn't matter. What matters is you are alive, you are breathing, and as long as you are breathing that plan that God said is good, that He has for you, it will definitely come to pass. And everything you begin to see everything working together for your good. Because Lady Mo, I don't think you you've you've you've reflected on this, perhaps you have, but one thing that I noticed it just kind of validates the this belief that I have that there is no experience in our life that is wasted, is a part of a puzzle of the story of our life. Remember, you said you were good in fine art, right? You were good in fine art when you were younger, right? So that your skill of drawing it came in hand when you were working with the children, right? And not only that, in you working with cakes now and drawing stuff, modeling things and all of those details.

SPEAKER_02: 58:18

Did that skill come with you? That's true, that's true, very, very true. Talk about everything working together for your good. See that?

SPEAKER_03: 58:30

It's true, very, very true. It's very true. Because I always refer back to it actually and say that you know, I always make jokes out of it, actually, that I never got more than a B minus in fine art. Wow, but that today, um, for whatever reason I wasn't the best student, and I think the most I ever got was a B minus. The best result was a B minus. Yeah, so I wasn't the best student, so I didn't even think I was that, but I was artistic. I could tell even myself, naturally. I looked at those things and I would say, you know, but I never thought that I would be using them on cakes because cakes were not even in my radar. Yeah, but today when I do those cakes, people ask me, I'm like, the thing is, I I enjoy what I do. I may not be making as much money as a lawyer, Lady Mo, Lady Moore, but wait, wait, what about the money?

SPEAKER_04: 59:26

Lady Moore, wait. You've been featured in the newspaper with your cake, haven't you? So, how many lawyers do they feature on newspaper for your community? No, it's strange, you're just being modest, right? How many lawyers did they feature on the case? Except maybe the lawyer has been able to acquaint someone that they thought was not acquittable, uh right? That's when you see a lawyer in the French paper, or they become a politician, but your case has been on. Norwegian, a paper in Norwegian, isn't that right? You have work with the council of your of where you are with your cake, haven't you? Right? So what are we talking about here?

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:16

I mean, for those people, like you rightly said, you know, it your your dreams are as big as you make them, to be honest.

SPEAKER_05: 1:00:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:24

So if you and I know for some people, you know, they probably would, you know, I feel sometimes, even me, that my dream is not as big. It's not getting as big as it should be. But I'm still working progress.

SPEAKER_05: 1:00:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:38

But for some people that have more speed than I have, it would have, you know, it would surpass you and outlive you. Because but whatever it is, whether it's hair making or sewing or just anything you can find to do with your hands, just do with all of your art and rest there. You know, it doesn't have to be what every other person is doing to succeed. Just whatever you find to do and gives you that leeway to do other things while you're doing it. Just rest in it and enjoy it. On the way, on the way you might meet, you know, you don't even know who you might meet that will propel you to where you've always wanted to be. So I just to drop that for somebody watching as well. That look, it's not um, it's never you're it's never over until it's over. And that goalpost keeps moving. You get close to it, it moves further away from you, but you just keep pressing on.

SPEAKER_04: 1:01:42

Yeah, just keep at it. So basically, your message is whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. That's Ecclesiastic 9, verse 10. I was just looking at that over the weekend. I had to quickly pull it out of my phone. Lady Mo. If there is someone out there right now that just feels like, oh my goodness, I'm wasting time. Everybody seems to be making progress. You just look as if I'm stagnant, it looks as if I'm not moving, it looks as if I'm just wasting time, I'm just staying at home looking after these children, I'm not doing anything, or maybe they don't even have children, they just feel like same old, same old year is about to end, have not seen any progress. It's just the same story. I just want you to speak to them from your heart.

SPEAKER_03: 1:02:33

Do you know the amazing thing is that we all get there at some point in our lives or the other where we feel like things are a bit stagnant because again, we look at our friends, those we went to university with, we went to secondary school with. I remember one of my friends, um, I was in sixth form with her from Malaysia.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:02:52

She's a VP of a company.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_03: 1:02:55

And I was and I I remember thinking, how you say that she's a VP now, you know, and everything. I'm thinking about myself. But then I I got wisdom from God who said it's not about you know what you are, it's about who you are. You know, as if you've chosen the baking line, then let it be the best ever in the taste, in the texture, in the outcome. Be the best that you can be at it. So, whatever you, even if you're a stay-home mom, be the best stable mom. Produce the best behaved children, the best mannered children. I remember saying to my boys that many times, they'll say, Mommy, why is it that I said you know, manners make a man? Those children are not my children. I'm responsible for you, so this is how it's going to be. Make them the best. Whatever you're doing, it's just for a season. But do it with all of your heart and enjoy it because that season is not going to last forever. But if you miss out of enjoying that season and doing it with all of your heart, you're just going to be in that rot forever. Because until you embrace where you are on the way to where you ought to be, nothing, nothing at all would open up for you. Because you're not in the right frame of mind, you're not in the right spirit, you cannot attract any good being like that. So people would even see you and run away from you or feel sorry for you, but wouldn't even be able to help you because you're so disgruntled. But if they see that you're joyful in that which you're doing, you'll be amazed at how many more opportunities will open it. Do you know how many people have said to me, Can you can we can we just bring our children to you? Can you just open a crash? Can you just this? Can you just that? And I'm like, no, just bring them to me. I'm not opening any crash, you know. Because honestly, they've been like, we don't know how you do it, but you do it. So I have so many adopted children right now. They call me their alter mom. I don't know. And they they just they absolutely, when they see me from a mile away, they rush towards me and they're like, Auntie Mo, Auntie Mo. Because honestly speaking, I love children, and I didn't even realize how much I love children until that period of my life when I didn't have I couldn't do anything else other than take care of my children, and I poured everything I had into it. And best years, because now I don't have those children to do any of those things with anymore. And it feels really odd, you know. But the truth about it is whatever you find to do when wherever you are, whichever stage or season of your life that you're in, know that it's not going to last forever. Just embrace it and do it, be the best at it. You'll be amazed what will come out of it.

SPEAKER_04: 1:06:07

Thank you so much, Lady Mo. Ah, thank you. That is really good. Now, in this podcast, we always ask people how do they take care of themselves? Because you you are more than 50 now, Lady Moore. I know that one for sure, but you look like you are in your 40s, you are glowing, you are glowing. Please share with us what are the things that you do that make you glow like this, what so that we can at least learn from you. What are the things that you do for self-care and you know, just to relax and rejuvenate your your mind, body, and spirit.

SPEAKER_03: 1:06:44

Oh, okay. So I am 51. So you're right. I am not that young, age-wise, but I am young at heart. I've never grown old in my heart. I love to have fun with things, you know. Don't take anything to heart. Don't of course be responsible and be serious about things, but don't take anything to heart. You know, don't take everything overly seriously. That's what I mean by taking everything to heart. You know, some people people compliment you, maybe they say something about you. You read the opposite meaning to it, yeah, and stress yourself out and all of that, and you're overthinking what that person said. You've already completed that person's whatever the person didn't even think about, you completed for that person. Yeah, I think that's the first thing to start with because people are the ones that aid you. Wow. People aid you. It's not it's not just you don't age naturally, people and things aid you. Wow, and usually it's the it's people, mostly people, then even things. The way you react to things, you know, the way you do, because overthinking things, being angry, being bitter, being, you know, all of those things, they zap your energy, they zap life out of you, and it begins to tell on you. It just does. I I I had um, we had new people coming to our family recently, because my nephew got married, and my my nephew's wife's mom, until she saw my birthday pictures, she said she asked her friends, she was so shocked, she asked her friends, how do you think? And they said, Oh, 35, 14, maybe 41, 40. She was like, I just saw her album, she's 50, 50, you know, and everything. And I said, She was like, We don't believe you're this age. I said, Well, you have to ask my parents now because I'm tired of telling people that it's the truth, you know. But the truth about it is relax, have fun, go out, go out and eat with your friends, you know, drop everything every once in a while and just spend time with yourself. Don't take anything too seriously to heart, you know, eat well, eat well, enjoy food. I always say every time I want to spoil myself, I'm like, oh, even with the cakes, I'm like, eat it. You're not eating it every day, eat it. Hashtag one life to live, you know, eat it, enjoy everyday life, like Joyce Meyer says, Yeah, you know, enjoy and then take time out to go to the spa, spoil yourself a little bit. You know, just take it doesn't have to be every, you know, regulated, like you say, okay, every month I must do this. No, it doesn't have to be, but as often as you you feel like, okay, I feel the stress coming on, take time out to de-stress, go away somewhere, you know, go to a spa for a few hours. Let someone you know massage you and you know enjoy yourself, feel all the pain while you're there, but come back and say, Wow, you know, I'm glad I did that. Yeah, just just and then above all mirror, let the word of God be your mirror. I think for me, that's the number one thing. Because if the word of God, for those that are not Christians, you know, you may not understand what I'm saying, but for Christians, we know that the more we look into the word, the more we see what we're supposed to be like. And honestly speaking, we have a father who is ageless. So the more you look into if you want to look young, yeah, go into the word, spend time in the presence of God, because that's where he will remind you that if somebody upsets you, he'll remind you that be angry, don't sin. Do you know immediately you drop the anger, and then you have less wrinkles on your forehead because because because you use more muscles being angry and frowning than you do smiling. So at the end of the day, the word is my go-to. Every time if somebody offends me, I just tell the Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit, I am offended, I'm not happy, and everything, but my heart can't deal with it. Can you please just help me? And he does all the time because God would hear your prayers of sincerity and he'll do something. He doesn't want you in that condition either. You know, for those that are not Christians, I invite you to get to know this God we're talking about. He really is real, and he would cause your life a 360 degrees turnaround, 180, 60, 360. I don't know, but you know, a total, complete turnaround, and it's priceless. I have been walking with God, I've known God since I was about 11. I have no regrets, no regrets whatsoever. It's just joy all the step of the way. So those are my tips. Of course, take your supplements, be good with your supplements, eat well, go for a run every once in a while, you know, go for walks and things like just get some endorphines in your head, you know. Go out, be happy, be happy, more than sad or you know, despondent, discouraged by people and things, but watch out for people, they're the ones that these things come through. Yeah, and if you can create a uh uh like a board, a bouncing board, then nothing people do to you will affect you, and you just continue to grow. I think for me, those are the things that I've done that have worked. So thank you so much for the compliment.

SPEAKER_04: 1:12:38

Thank you very much, Lady Mo. You know, one that keeps ringing in my head is mirror god. Yes, mirror god, thank you so much, Lady Mo. This has been an interesting conversation. Thank you. Right, we have come to the end of this discussion today. I could go on and on discussing with Lady Mo all day. We'll come to the end of today's episode, and please don't just listen, like, reshare, comment, what stood up for you, what time and season are you currently at in your life, and how what are you doing to ensure that you try? Because in Psalm 1, verse 1 to 3 said, as long as you meditate on his word, you do not stand you know in front of evil people. It said, all your skills, your talent, you will to remain evergreen, and you will be like a tree planted by the rivers of God, and you will flourish in every season of your life, you will thrive. Some verses say so now. Um, just remember that. Remember that, remember that always. Thank you so much for joining us today. Um, I wish you peace and inner family until I come your way again and remain your happy studio. Thank you so much, and I'm gonna