Rewriting What Black Means In Our Minds

We explore how erased history, language loss, and foreign validation fuel identity crises among black children and adults, then map practical steps for parents, teachers, and leaders to build Afrocentric pride with depth and care. Dr Ronke Posh shares tools from the Rooted Movement, from language at home to curriculum shifts that honour Africa’s legacy.

• Africa’s scholarly legacy and Mansa Musa’s wealth
• The Rooted Movement’s mission to heal identity
• Language immersion at home for early years
• Revising beauty standards around hair and accent
• School choice, diversity, and child wellbeing
• Afrocentric curriculum and hidden curriculum ideas
• Reframing beliefs that paint black as “bad”
• Parenting by modelling pride and boundaries
• Practical resources, songs, and books to embed pride
• Self-care, limits, and training others how to treat us

Please make use of those resources and let's build a new generation of children that are confident, don't have identity crisis, and they are just proud to be black

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Chapters

• 0:00 Africa’s Legacy Reclaimed
• 1:03 Meet Dr Ronke Posh
• 2:46 The Rooted Movement Explained
• 6:13 Everyday Signs Of Identity Erosion
• 11:25 Language, Schools, And Pride
• 17:10 Teaching Children Mother Tongues
• 22:00 Hair, Beauty Standards, And Value
• 27:45 History Erased And Why It Matters
• 33:20 Foreign Validation And Inferiority
• 39:42 School Choices, Racism, And Belonging
• 47:30 Building Afrocentric Curricula
• 54:00 Identity From The Inside Out

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

There's a lot of celebrations in Africa. The first universities in the world were Africans were in Africa, Morocco and Timbuktu. The first universities in the world, the first books in the world, even before the Bible went from Africa. The mathematicians, astrologers, scientists, engineers, we're all African. Africa did not start after trade. Africa started before slavery, brother. Africa started before slavery. And we must understand that even before slavery, we had a monad. We had a system of government. We were trading. We had gold, we had spices. We are trading with other continents. The richest man that has ever lived in the world is an African man, Mantamusa. But if you ask a child now, they will say Elon Musk. They don't know that the richest man that ever lived is Mantamusa because the schools have failed them, including myself. A lot of the things that I know about history was because I became a student of history as an adult.

SPEAKER_02: 1:03

On this episode, I am going to be interviewing Dr. Ronke Fosh. So I don't think I'll be able to do justice to introduce you. I'm just going to ask you to please introduce yourself.

SPEAKER_01: 1:16

Okay, I'm an educator. Good evening, actually. Good evening, first, good evening, everyone. I'm an educator. Um, I wear many hats. I'm the um founder and director at La Posche School, part of the estate in Lagos. It's a preschool and primary school. I'm also the founder of the rooted movement, and more recently, I uh I um I said rooted movement. Yes, I've been told that I am the first African educator with an Afro-bridge anthem for children called The Rooted, which is part of the rooted movement, right? And last week I was also the host at the Let There Be Teachers Conference, where we had over 10,000 teachers gathered in one place at the same time physically, and we broke the greenest world record for the largest gathering of teachers. And I'm proud to say that I am one of the hosts of that event. So that's me in a nutshell.

SPEAKER_02: 2:24

I won't bore you with the rest if you want to find that, so go and go and find that and just type the Toronto Punch. First, that is an incredible achievement, and I would like to say congratulations to all of you. And yeah, that's very impressive. It's not easy to gather that much people in one place, let alone teachers. It's amazing, right? Okay, so I'm gonna start with our rote movement. Can you tell us more?

SPEAKER_01: 2:48

What's he about the rote movement is about addressing issues that relate to identity crisis in our society. We have a lot of issues with identity crisis. Black people have been unconsciously programmed not to appreciate who they are as black people, not to love who they are as black people. And subconsciously, we want to be white or resemble anything that is white. We have issues of self-esteem, we have mental health challenges amongst our teens as a result, simple things like our like language erosion, lack of history in our schools, um, bleaching amongst us, wigs that we desperately covet. Uh, we don't want to go out with except we have the bone straight wig. Um, anything that looks foreign is what we want to endorse. We don't know the power, the beauty, and the wealth of our continent, of what it is to be a black person. So the rooted movement is there to um raise awareness, teach people, remind people, bring it to their consciousness that as a black person you are enough. As a black person, as a black person, that's all you need. You don't need to try to be somebody else, you don't need to try to speak with an accent. Um westernization is not civilization. Civilization started in Africa, and we need to know our roots because this is the reason that a lot of us have self-esteem issues, identity crisis issues, and whatever we do, and wherever we go, we will always be black. So it is best as a black person you live at your optimum as opposed to be second-class human when you try to be somebody else. So that is what the rooted influence is about.

SPEAKER_02: 4:42

I think is an awesome and credible cause. And I'm so glad that you're championed is the benefits align so much with my values and my belief because I believe that I am black, I'm not gonna be anything else. And you are so right when you talk about identity crisis. The painful part is it is very, very subtle, it is not loud, it starts gradually. And I've worked in schools, I've worked with individuals, and I notice that a lot of people have identity issues as a result of not knowing their self-worth, as a result of not having good grounding identity of who they are. So one minute when they are with this crowd, they are this, when they are with that crowd, they don't have an identity that is consistent, that they are proud of. How do we begin to help people? Because it doesn't stop with our teenagers. I know a lot of people will feel like it's the teenagers, but the truth is it starts with the adults. And it just feels it filters down. So with the rooted movement, how are you as in? We're gonna use that as an example, but then again, as a society, as a school, as a community, how do we begin to help people to understand this, to be aware of it, even admit that it is happening at all, and then be able to put things in place to be able to work towards helping people to navigate this um uh pollution that is going on amongst us.

SPEAKER_01: 6:13

I think we should start with ourselves, each individual, every individual that is aware and conscious of this issue, to start with themselves and take pride in anything that is African. Starting with yourselves also means that you start with your immediate sphere of influence, which is your family. So, language, for example, a lot of parents are not speaking languages to their children. They think it's cool, it's work to speak English. You find that in Nigeria, it's pretty much the households that still maintain language in there consistently as a tribe of people. The Yoruba, the Igbo's pretty inconsistent. It's fading away fast, and it's not as respectable of social status, um, where people are not speaking the languages anymore. They don't even want to eat the food. Amala is yoki, it's rice they want to eat. They don't want to eat anything that is um African, it smells, you know, things like that. The need for a lot of mothers to be role models to their children, where your child should actually see that it's your black hair is nice. You don't have any issue with your black hair if you have hair. Um, you can wear your natural hair out. It's not to be worn only indoors in a cornroom, and when you're going out, you wear your wig. You're unconsciously telling your child that you look better with the wig. The black hair does not look good and belongs indoors. Whether you're saying it or you're not saying it, it is said that action speaks louder than words. So when you're doing that, you are telling your child that black hair isn't good enough. That's an example. Now, the clothing has become fashionable, Afro beats have become fashionable, but these are trends. That's not what makes us black, it's part of what makes us black. But for example, the actual kid that people have been wearing in recent times, um, the uh the rare patterns that we are seeing. Those things are trending at the moment. They've always been, they're not new, they've always been. So they're trending. So if they stop trending, and that's the only thing that you um embrace as a black person, then what else makes you black? Um, your accent, you don't want you to speak with an African accent. You want to speak with an European accent because you believe that that is the way it should be. However, we need to understand that our accent is beautiful and we must embrace it. What we need is good diction. We don't need to speak like an European or a foreigner. We need to be like the Chinese that speak their own language with their own accent. We need to understand that English is a mode of communication, it's not a sign of intelligence and nothing else. You can actually teach in Yoruba language, you can teach in any language, you can teach in Igbo. The Japanese don't teach in English, the Germans don't teach in English, but we don't even want our children to speak the language. They are ashamed of speaking the language. I met a boy singing a song, a young man singing a song not long ago, and it was a Yoruba song, and my dad is a singer. I said, Oh, are you singing a Yoruba song? And he ducked, like ah. I said, Are you ashamed of that you're singing that song? I actually love that song. You're gonna remind me of my dad just now. You're not using to be ashamed of. It turns out that he's a drummer, he beats the it uses the gongo. So we find that a lot of these things, even the schools are promoting it. You find that the schools um they don't want the children to wear traditional, they're wearing blazers, they're colonizing our children. You know, we are we are enslaving ourselves again, but this time in our minds, and this time around, it's going to be more vicious than when people were in chains. So the sooner that we realize it, the sooner that we know that even if you don't want to live in Africa, if you move abroad or whatever, you are still a black person and you should take pride in being black.

SPEAKER_02: 9:59

Yes, absolutely. Uh, I love the way you broke that down. Like, for example, I'm gonna speak for myself. I'm an Italian richer marriage or tribal, is it marriage? No, that's not richer, it's tribal marriage. So I am Bini from a Dost State, and my husband is Yoruba now, because we live in the UK, we don't have loads of people that are Yoruba around us that are speaking the language. Because I don't remember my parents sitting down to say, Oh, this is how you say stand up, this is how you say sit down, bad way, they just spoke the language, and I picked it up. All of us, we picked it up. I've been telling my husband, I said, How do we do this? Because without the English language, I do not understand what my husband is saying. Without English language, he doesn't understand what I'm saying. Now I pick language faster, but I have to hear it from people speaking it. We've been married for 18 years and I still can't speak it because there are not people that are exchanging the language in front of me. So for people that have that challenges, because now I'm so glad of people that are opening schools, but for people that have that challenges, how then do you do it to ensure that your children are speaking this language, knowing that it's hard to get them to sit down and say, oh, this is that is a stand up. Yeah, we did that with some of the things we found on YouTube, but I feel it's not enough.

SPEAKER_01: 11:25

The only way to read is to read, and the only way to speak a language is to speak the language. So the only way you can teach your children is to speak the language to them. And when the children, I mean, you're married 18 years, I don't know how old your children are, but children are able to learn up to six languages without confusing them when they're under the age of six, they don't have any struggle at all. They will know they are speaking the Edu language, they will know they're speaking the Yoruba language, they will know they're speaking in English, they will know they're speaking Chinese, up to six languages. But we really we always assume, oh, it's too much, it's difficult, or it's embarrassing. Just speak the language to the children, they will figure it out. If it's a case of bring the bag, we're back in your even if they don't speak the words immediately, their gestures or just how you say it will give them an inclination as to what it is that you're saying. The only way to teach a child to speak a language is to speak the language, there's no other way. You just have to, yes, you can use apps, labs, low lingo, but as you said rightly, that was not how we learnt it. Our parents just spoke it. I can't, I was not even conscious of my parents speaking it. I'm not even conscious that I learned English in any particular way, or I learned um I learned Yoruba in any particular way. My daughter's first book was omie, which is water. We're living in England then, and um I just knew that by living in the UK, by default, she will understand English. I don't know how, but she wish I understand English. Yes, nobody was saying table chair or anything, but she would understand it. Yes, nobody really goes. If you want to teach a child a language, you don't really start saying, Oh, table, hand. It's just because you're speaking it and the child is in that environment. There's no choice. But with English, we are giving the children the options. When we give the children the options, then they will pick the options, and oftentimes they pick that English because that's what they're speaking in school as well. That's what you're hearing the parents speak. So you see, even if you're not in an intertribal marriage, you find that you might be speaking the same language with a partner and they speak it well, but those two that speak the same language will still speak English to their children because that is what we think is woke. We are not conscious of what we are doing. We are unconsciously doing it because that's what somebody else is doing. Even with the wigs, the wigs have gained ground to the point where the people don't even know how to manage their own natural hair. They have never learned how to manage their natural hair. All they want to do is conlow and wig. Who started this thing? I don't even know. And we are not made to have straight hair. That is not who a black person is. A black person has curls or coils in their head. That is how our hair is, it's not, it's not just it's not designed to be fine. So no matter what we do, and I'm not opposed to wigs, I have a few, you will be walking the streets as someone that is not a black person or not representing who a black person should be. And I was a victim of that, and I use that word victim because it was what was happening around me until the awakening happened, the consciousness happened. So a lot of people, they're not even in the consciousness. I see my brother sent me a TikTok video where some ladies were fighting over here. My own hair has more curls than your own, my own hair. This is somebody else's hair. That is a mental health challenge, in my opinion. We are so unaware of what we are doing. A lot of women don't have land, they don't have property, they don't have assets. But they will do anything to have a wig of 2 million, 3 million naira. They will sleep around to have a wig. They will do absolutely anything, all their earnings to have a wig. There's a beauty standard that has been set that you believe that you must have straight hair, curly hair, any kind of hair but African hair. And that's a line that has taken that's gained ground. And that's why we have the rooted movement. Even if it's 100 people, even though I know we've done more than that by now, we've brought the consciousness of thousands of people as at now. But if one person is doing their own in their own corner, who will begin to bring back the pride of being an African person. There's a lot to celebrate as an African. The first universities in the world were Africans, when in Africa, Morocco and Timbuktu. The first universities in the world, the first books in the world, even before the Bible were from Africa. The mathematician, astrologers, scientists, engineers, they were all Africans. Africa did not start after trade. Africa started before slavery, rather. Africa started before slavery. And we must understand that. Even before slavery, we had our monarchs, we had our system of government, we were trading. We had gold, we had spices, we are trading with other continents. The richest man that has ever lived in the world is an African man, Manta Musa. But if you ask a child now, they will say Elon Musk. They don't know that the richest man that ever lived is Mantamusa because the schools have failed them, including myself. A lot of the things that I know about history was because I became a student of history as an adult. I didn't have the option, I didn't do it in secondary school. I didn't do it. I didn't do it in primary school, I did not do it. So I don't know anything about history until I became a student of history. The fact that we're not teaching our children history is a failure. It's a huge failure, and that is part of what is causing the identity crisis that we see today.

SPEAKER_02: 17:12

So, would you say all of this is as a result of post-traumatic slavery syndrome?

SPEAKER_01: 17:18

It is part of it, and it's unconscious for many people. Some people are conscious, yes, but some people are unconscious of it. But it is a trauma. It is a trauma. But a lot of people are blind to it. They don't even want to know. Oh, I don't want to know anything about history. If you know about history, you'll be more passionate as an African. Absolutely. About your identity. You will be significantly more passionate. You won't get away with anything. You won't even let anybody call you what you are not. Somebody call you my name is Ronke, they are calling me Ronnie. Don't call me Roni. My name is not Roni. My name is Adivon Kedini. Our names have meaning. There's hardly any African name that it's not a prayer or has a significant, deep meaning. It's usually a prayer or a circumstance that your parents are thanking God that they brought you out for from. You now change that to bam bam. Dim dim. You know, Lola, you say your name is Lola. Because you want to appease somebody else. We are constantly bowing down, constantly, constantly bowing down to other other people, foreigners. Even here, we don't go to our own restaurants as much as we want to go to all the foreign restaurants. Want to go to the Lebanese restaurants, we want to go to all those places. We think we can't do stuff ourselves. Even our schools, if we don't have a foreign head teacher, we don't think the school is good. You have to go and bring a foreign head teacher. Even if the foreigner is the worst of the foreigners, you will bring them here, you celebrate them here. People that they will not even allow in classrooms abroad, you will bring them here to African countries. Not all of them, obviously, but a significant number of them. I've seen some of them. And they'll say they're educators. And I'm thinking, seriously, you are really an educator. And they'll bring them, celebrate them, because the mindset is that if the school is being run by somebody that is foreign, it's better. If the food is being cooked or the restaurant is run by someone that's foreign, it's better. If the supermarket is being run, even our roads, we have to get Chinese to come and fix our roads. We feel we can't do it. But we are doing it abroad. All the people that are jackpad, go and ask them. There are all many, many, many of them are holding significant positions. Innovations here and there, you keep hearing. High power jobs in engineering, in science, in STEM. So we are still the black people, the black Nigerians that are doing these things all around the world, the footballers, all sorts of things. But when it comes to Nigeria, somehow, that post traumatic slave syndrome that we're talking about, we just feel we cannot do it. We feel we cannot do it. Do you know what they still call they still call foreigners masters in 2025 they're still calling some foreigners master they're still addressing them as master in 2025 where is that uh i'm not going to say but check the supermarkets check the island supermarkets the island supermarkets you find a lot of the people that are working in many island supermarkets that are serving but they're being run by foreigners a number of them still call them master i've been to a fair and i've heard it myself so it's not here when they're calling them master wow wow and we love to do it we love to do it we'll say oh you know even if you don't pay you you just want to go and be amongst them to work for them even to treat you badly even parents will enroll their children in schools where the foreign head of school will treat them bad they've had a case like that that I was involved in and I went to war with that school the man was horrible to parents he was mean to parents he spoke to them he spoke down at them but guess what those parents were even grateful just like their children are in that school because we want to get their children to be safe that they are going to this something something international school and I'm talking about people that have traveled I'm not saying educated because I began to realize that education has a deeper meaning than what we think it is. Because when somebody that has has a degree has a master's has traveled has even lived abroad comes back and feels the need to bow down to another race just because it's another race and they feel as if whatever abuse that they met onto them they have to accept it because of the color of their skin that's huge inferiority complex that's a huge huge issue parents cannot even you know parents will fight about one thing or the other on social media they can't fight that their children are wearing blazers in the heat the blazing heat our children are wearing blazers our children are learning about winter before they learn about hamatan how many children know what hamatan is we don't have winter you're telling them about the seasons around the world you're telling them about autumn which autumn do we have in Nigeria which autumn which winter which spring do we have in Nigeria which spring you're telling them about snow this is fab this this is deeper than I thought because what you see there is showing up in in diaspora in a different way but there's some similarity but okay okay I will share that before I dive in into what you said about schools.

SPEAKER_02: 22:42

So the first one over here is that when people come and they want to find schools instead of them looking for offstead reports offstead reports I'm sure you're familiar with it to check the standard of the school in terms of their grading in terms of leadership in terms of teaching and everything instead of them to look at that what would my people look for they will look for the profession of white so they go to grammar schools they go to private schools they go to schools that maybe they are um church led Catholic schools and all of this stuff but now these schools are white populated and you see people moving away from certain cash met area to go to that area in order for them to be able to get entrance into that some of them are Pentecoaster but they will go to Catholic church get that child baptized they themselves baptized temporarily in order for them to get into that school now when they get into the school you have a class where you have 30 children in a class and then you have just one black child what do you think is going to happen most of the time those children they do not make friends with them they segregate them they isolate these children and when the child speaks up at home the parents will be like do you know what it took us for you to be able to get into that school they will pretend as if they don't know that things are going on or sometimes they go to school to fulfill all righteousness and then speak to these people that my child is being segregated is not included in things they're like oh tell her to be more tell him or her to be more friendly and before you know it that child will go through all of these things what is the result the child look lose self-esteem the child is not able to have a full identity that they are supposed to have the child is not happy their mentor head their self-worth their self-esteem has been eroded for the length of time they are in that school and you think the after after after email after uh effect will stop when they leave that school but the truth is it never stops it never stops when this child carries on in life this this this pollution this erosion carries on in everything that they do and yet parents you would tell them please look at the offstead report you do not need to go and baptize to pretend as if you are part of that faith in order for you to get into that school you do not need high population of white school to be there. Now there are people that will move away they want to be among your black people because if you are there you don't look successful enough and all of this stuff and then you go you move away and go and rent a house or get a mortgage or buy a house in in an area for you to feel successful. There are so many ways shows up like you said in terms of the clothing when you wear the African wear it's almost as if they are looking at you that you're not able to get the designer's clothes or they get the other clothes that you are going for the cheaper option. When you carry your hair they make you look as if oh this cannot even afford a wig they are looking down on you. They might not voice it the look the the the the way they talk to you the attitude it portrays all of these things. So when they have all these things put together packaged together and if they had white friends the more they are in the midst of white people the more they feel validated that they have arrived they are here now. I see it every time and it is frustrating absolutely frustrating and you hear it telling me now that in Nigeria even people want to put their child there we are wearing blazers. Meanwhile in the in the summer over here you are allowed to take your blazers off and just wear your shirt we have summer dresses that wear over here and yet in beautiful Nigeria they don't want to even wear their dresses I don't understand what is going on at all because I feel the slavery we think is over but the slavery is not in the mind we have slavery of the mindset that has entangled our people and it is getting deeper and deeper and our children are paying the price so I'm my question to you now is sorry my question to you now before you before you speak is considering that it's the government that said the curriculum what can school owners do to be able to you know bring our history into our curriculum back home okay thank you personally when you said that people baptize their children baptize themselves and their children to get into certain catchment areas and stuff like that so I lived in the UK I lived in Luke for two decades before I moved back to Nigeria.

SPEAKER_01: 26:51

So my daughter went to a Catholic school I didn't have to baptize her or my so I don't know we just got her in it was in our catchment area so on. But we actually moved out of London to start a family we moved out of London to Northampton to start a family at the time now I understand when parents don't actually want their children to go to certain schools because a lot of them are underfunded and you would actually not want your child to go there. You find that a lot of the immigrants a lot of the asylum seekers and all those people which are human yes however they come with certain specifications and certain standards and you might not want you might not feel that is the best for your child. So the way I put it is that even if I'm in Nigeria I I may not want to and I might not want to take my child to certain areas in Lagos for my child to school it's not an option because I know that the she they probably won't give her the best in those areas and this is a a nation that we are blacks predominantly now there are some schools in London that I know that I will not put my child in I didn't even want the hustle and bustle of the central London not even the outskirts because the outskirts were getting overcrowded at the time I was there. All the borough woods and all those corners were getting busy even the Manchesters are getting busy now Aberdeen all those areas so even moving out there you still find the cluster of um I think it's an issue sometimes an issue of social status. What I recommend to parents is to find a balance yes find the offset report but I will never put my child in the school where she's the only black person. Now she also may not go to the school where they are predominantly blacks there. Now they have H B C Us um black schools in America black universities in America those children will have gone to different schools before they arrive at that point. You're in another country diversity is also important whilst you are in that country. So your child being the only one will definitely affect the esteem of the child I have been in touch and I have talked to children counseled them sat in therapy children that are many many children that are the only black children in different countries I have been in church I've done the Saudi Arabia I've done UK I've done yes I've done Canada where the child is the only one on the whole corridor the whole year group the only black one no friends one was told one five year old mom told me that the one friend that he had the mother said don't be friends with him anymore black boys are trash. So when you have this situation they don't post those ones on Instagram they post the jackets and the winters and the pretty pictures and the malls and the cars and the house that you've mortgaged you put all those ones online. You don't put the mental health challenges that your child goes through being an only child even you as an adult many times you are the only black person in your team so you must have some kind of capacity as an adult to be able to withhold that my last few jobs I was a contractor in the bank my last one was a backlash back I was the only black girl in 19 it was not a problem for me. But a five-year-old child is just building so you find that the girls want to have long hair oh I don't want to go with my this type of hair one braids or they want to weave or something at age five because representation to them is looking white yeah yeah so that's a big thing that parents must look at and look out for and help their child through I would never ever recommend putting a child through that kind of drama it is a lot then when you go to Arab countries is significantly more when it comes to things like racism and little children because we're jackbarring.

SPEAKER_02: 30:55

So the solution really is for us to build our country if we build our countries then everybody will not be jackmaring they won't feel the need to relocate anywhere else and whilst there's colorism here there's tribalism here at least it's not as bad as what our children are go some of our children are going through in some of these countries that they've had to go through yeah this episode is also by a step consultancy a whole personal transformation for the mind body and soul if you're ready to write move away from depression feel anxiety and live with confidence for you to give clarity for you to move from surviving to thriving why don't you visit our website www dot consultancy dot com we'll support you through counseling life coaching and other trauma recovery programs grief causes and it will even offer one at a time therapy all of the services is available virtually so you do not even have any excuse of saying you do not want to leave your home you have everything from the comfort of your home will support you to move from surviving to thriving before you go have you subscribe yet like share and comment on what resonates with you so far on this episode if you have not done so why don't you just click that button now thank you back to the program now teachers teach the right things oh you're allowed to do that teach what I teach you know sometimes they say extracurricula sometimes they will say this and that in any way that you can infuse there's something called a hidden curriculum our schools need to be more Afrocentric when they're having those meetings stand up and join those meetings have speak online any avenue that you have as a school leader to talk about our curriculum we've done it for many years they recently just revamped the curriculum about two weeks two three weeks ago at the beginning of September 2025 they revamped their curriculum right um but what we have there is not enough to keep any child voted to take pride in Africa so what are the things that you can do to make your children or your pupils or students take pride in Africa is to look for the right things to teach them.

SPEAKER_01: 33:17

You don't have to sit in class for one hour before you can tell them about Man Samusa being one of the wealthiest men in the world you don't have to do that to tell them about Waleshoinka or Chima DJ yeah you don't have to do that you know there are so many people that you can talk about they can have you can have them all spattered all around your school but instead we have Shakespeare we don't have showing you know we have all the other people foreigners all on the walls of our schools because we want to see that we're working we are in both school but when we just talk about all those things national day is coming it's not about dancing and wearing traditional clothes why don't you use that time to immerse your children use that time to immerse those children teach them as much as you can it can be a research based work it can be research one watch this video about um shakazul mandela go and find out tell me five great things he did those little little nuggets go a long way and it's back curiosity they would want to know and oh really do you know that the African hair was not to be cut the African man's hair is not to be cut with a clipper the way we cut it the African man's hair is dreads or grades that's what the African man's hair is it was the white people that were trying that colonized us and wanted uniformity and cut the hair of the slaves and then we continue to cut the hair of our boys thinking that that is the way their hair should be you know that a lot of the foreigners were jealous of how beautiful our hair is and how we could style our hair in beautiful ways and that's why they didn't want us to have our hair done as women as slaves if we know our history that they actually love they still even love our hair to today if I enter Oxford Circles with this hair now if I go to to to the streets of New York with this hair now I will be stopping people left right people will be stopping me left right and center when I was in um Houston not long ago I had braids blonde braids right up to my knees right up to my knees beautiful rich braids I can't count the number of people that stopped me what did you have your hair done it's so beautiful it's okay our hair is nice we should take pride in it our hair is not straight our hair is to be plaited our hair is dreads our hair is afro dada not bone straight not curls you know all those things that we see that's not who we are so schools we just need to infuse it into their curriculum and into their activities. Schools should be Afrocentric schools you should see in the schools you should come out instead of seeing sugar paper and all those things use IR to decorate you know something like this is black and white use it to do the borders you know use it to you know drape around and just make your school look Afrocentric have some bamboo chairs outdoors just infuse some Africa into your school our schools should be Afrocentric and even when we have all these foreign schools that are coming into it the government needs to ensure that those schools are teaching African history yes they may be foreign schools but by verge of demographic there are in Nigeria and our children must know about Africa. Some parents are going to come and say but my child is going to end up abroad so the child needs to fit in and I always say that your child will never fit in as long as you have this black skin you never fit in. You'll always be black there's no white person that's going to ever see you as a white person. Even if you are mixed race they will never see you as a white person.

SPEAKER_02: 36:58

It's only in Nigeria that we glamorize and we we praise mixed race people abroad they are black they don't see them as one of them and I'm not opposed to white people I love white people yeah I studied abroad most of my education is British this is not about race this is about identity this is about valuing who you are how God made you how God created you loving it and embracing it that's what this is about I I like the fact that you put you that last statement right there is the church your identity does not start when you start hating on people and you do not have to bring other race or the tribe down in order for you to have an identity that's only Indians look at the Japanese Japanese Japanese they just who they are that's right it's uncomfortable in their own skin it's we the black people that have a problem yeah we've discussed a lot and I've I've reflected on our discussion right now and I see a lot of them are external external factors that can contribute to us appreciating our identity I want us to look inward as well because I believe that when I came here I was as a young adult and I remember that I was able to hold my ground remain who I am because of certain things that my parents instilled in me. So even though most of the schools that I work as an educator I was mostly the only black and if anything I have a way of infusing my culture into what I met there. Is it bring and share day I will bring my African food is it um not uniform day where staff are also allowed to like dress down there for staff I will have a way of bringing my African culture print and everybody's like oh Sonia your prints are so bright and be and they start asking questions I have to start educating them. So I have a way of bringing my African heads and so in a way that diversity in the department wherever I am it becomes so rich and you know we are learning about one another what are the things that we do because I believe that we live from the inside out that is just the truth that's the only thing that is sustainable. What are some of the things that will help us to maintain our identity and build our identity from the inside now we're not talking about the clothes the hair the language I'm talking about from the inside from the inside is something to our mindset.

SPEAKER_01: 39:29

So our spirituality for example is from within our belief systems what is it that we believe so let's even talk about the God that we think we serve. A lot of Africans actually believe that the God they serve is a white God. That in itself is slavery. That in itself you're already saying that I can you know that you're not you cannot be white but the God you serve is white this is what they see. This is what this is what has been you know that man called that they put they say is Jesus I don't Know who drew that and said it's Jesus. What makes you think that is Jesus? So even your belief systems, do you believe that black is good from within? When they talk about day and night, anything that is black, they want to say it's bad, it's demonic, black food is bad, black skin is bad, nighttime is bad, you know, black clothes are bad, therefore mourning. Everything that our belief systems we've we've we've put a meaning on it that if it's black, it is bad. So we need to reorientate ourselves and know that it is black, it is beautiful. It is black does not mean that it's evil or it's ugly. The white cat is cute, but the black cat is evil. Anything that is black, you know, we give our children white dogs, even as black people. How many children had a black dog growing up? How many people have even seen a black dog? So from within, is what are the things that we actually believe? How do we affirm ourselves as black people? Our spirituality, like I said, what are the things that we believe about God, about our faith? If you said somebody drawing the devil now, they will draw something and paint it black. Yes, everything is always bad, except when you want to go to the Grammys and you want a nice stunning black dress. That's when you like black or your black, beautiful phone. Those things that we say are beautiful about black. Let's bring it out. Let's let people know that black is beautiful. Give your children black dolls, wear them black clothes. Nothing means anything except the meaning that you give to it.

SPEAKER_02: 41:55

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 41:57

Nothing means anything, except the meaning that you give to it. If I do like this, I'm saying bye, if I'm doing like this, I'm saying hi. If I'm doing like this, I'm saying no. It depends on which country I'm in. Nothing means anything except the meaning you give to it. So we need to give being black and that color black a new meaning. We need to begin to give being black a new meaning. Because if you continue to say that, oh, anything that is black is not good. Um, if somebody paint my nails, for example, black now. I'm sure people will have a problem with you say, Hey, she painted it black because it's the meaning you gave to it. If I paint it red, if I paint it brown, black, it's a color, it's just a color. It's a night, it's nighttime, but it creates balance. You can't have daytime throughout. That's right. Sleep nice better at night, you recalibrate better at night. It creates a balance in the universe. There's a purpose for night time. It doesn't mean that it is when witches fly. So it's that meaning we need to reprogram our minds from within. Even those churches that always say, oh, black this, black witch, black magic, black, everything, you know. We've just given black such a painful narrative, and we need to change it. Those are some of the ways that from within we can change from within. Yeah, those are some of the ways, simple, simple, everyday things that we can do.

SPEAKER_02: 43:29

That's so beautifully said. Yeah, beautifully said. So if you are listening to this today, I want you to just pause and reflect what are your beliefs? What are your beliefs around being an African, around being black? All you you almost exhausted everything because when you're talking about what we associate black with, those are the things that I was thinking about. We associated to bad. So you need to start working on your belief that being black does not mean that you are inferior, and proximity to whiteness doesn't make you special, doesn't make you successful. Speaking English doesn't make you intelligent and smart. Speaking your native language doesn't make you that you are you are you you you are crude and you are not civilized.

SPEAKER_01: 44:20

They even call it local, they call it local. Yeah, they say you're local if you do if you speak your foreign your own language. They call our language, they call it uh vernacular. Something in vernacular English, something in vernacular, English is vernacular. Everything that you call local as a black person, I don't want to identify you with it, is you having telling yourself that you are inferior, yeah, because everything that you're saying that is not good enough and it's local, because it's something that is African or Afrocentric, that means you're saying that you yourself are inferior, because all those things are what makes you black. That's right, yeah, that's right. Those things are the things that make you black, but you're calling them local, the food, the the the the artwork, the clothing, the jewelry, you call them local, it's you that is local because no matter what you do, that is your identity.

SPEAKER_02: 45:22

Even the beads that you wear, when you wear beads, there are some people that are like, Are you not into these new age practices? Why are you wearing African bead? I have this red cora bead that I wear, and some people look at you funny. Why are you wearing cora bead? Those are traditional stuff. I I don't quite understand it. Why we demonize everything black? So if you are listening to this, it's time you start re-evaluating your belief because your belief, whatever you believe with, will bet your values, will bet the things that you are doing. So you need to start asking yourself questions and then begin to remove the things because our beliefs are being influenced by our parents, our education, our religious body, our music, this the media, whether it be social media or any media you call, the books that you read, those are the things that shape our beliefs. And if you notice, like Dr. said now, that in our schools, if our history is not being is not being taught properly, you see that belief is being formed that we are not enough. And then you go to churches, everything that has been done, black magic, and the rest of them again is being portrayed that we are not enough, that anything about us is demonic. And then you go to the music when we are singing our song, we don't sing our song fully in our language, even the way we're dressing our music, it's been westernized quite a lot, the things that we do. We you see all of these media that are influencing our belief. I think it's our duty as parents for us to know better and do better and begin to bring this value. We cannot rely on schools alone, we cannot rely on our religious bodies alone. We also need to also do our own work. I love what it started with. It started with each of us and how you influence people in your sphere of influence. So let us go back and begin to what you want to see, what you want your children to believe in. You need to start exposing them to it. You need to start shaping and nurturing and even yourself model it. You need to start practicing what you preach, not do as I say, not as I do, right? We need to start modeling that. And I think it's it's really time we we uh we we start having this conversation because they will help to ground our children. And it helped me a lot because my parents wasn't here when I came here, just me and my sister, and it helped me a lot to remain grounded. That it doesn't matter, I was so proud of people like you are so proud of your root. I'm so proud of my roots. So, which is why when I realized they are doing the rooted movement, that word resonated with me. So let's go back and do our homework, shape your belief, your values, and then embrace your culture because it is rich, it is vibrant, it is who we are. Thank you so much, Doctor. Please, is there anything you want to contribute before we before we move? I don't want to take your time for too long.

SPEAKER_01: 48:09

I think we thank you so much for inviting me. We've um spoken a lot. Um, let's stay rooted um for people that need support, need help, whether in school or in the families. You can find me at Rome CarePosh on Instagram and all other platforms. Um, I have resources, I have books about being rooted, even on Amazon. Just put my name and rooted. I have the song, it's on all streaming platforms to say, I know who I am, I am black, I'm proud. I know who I am, I am black and proud. For our children, there's an anthem that is going out there, that's already out there. It's on Spotify, it's on YouTube, all streaming platforms. Please make use of those resources and let's build a new generation of children that are confident, don't have identity crisis issues, and they are comp they are just proud to be black. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02: 48:56

Thank you. On this podcast, we ask our guests, all of them, one last question. And the question is for a lady that wear so many ads, you wear so many ads. An educator, um, you do life coaching, you do consulting, you do a lot of things. How do you ensure that you look after yourself and you are still refreshed? What is your self-care like?

SPEAKER_01: 49:20

So, self-care for me is um being alone and just enjoying myself in my home. So I always tell people that don't let people think, don't let anybody define fun to you. A lot of people see me as an extrovert, and I'm not. I can be, it's a role that I wear, it's a hat that I can play. I'll be a role that can play and a hat that I wear. So I can do it when the need arises. But my default setting is to be in my house peacefully. I also tell people that don't do more than you don't do more than you can carry at a particular point in time. I'm doing significantly more now, but my nest is pretty much empty. I have one child and she's in university. So somebody will see me and have three children under gate of 10 that still needs mommy, still needs daddy a lot, and you want to do what somebody else that they have their hands free. If you tell me, let's go to Abuja tomorrow. I don't have to think about any baby, I don't have to think about anything. I guess so, do your own. Um, with time, you find out the things that you like. I really enjoy my me time, I enjoy reading, I enjoy watching a very nice movie. Um, I enjoy a glass of wine, I enjoy hanging out with my friends, um, and I enjoy having a massage. Um, for me, as I grew up, I have a lot more things that I do in terms of self-care because I had a lot more time.

SPEAKER_04: 50:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 50:46

There was a time when self-care for me was doing my nails. Um, that was it. I just really loved to do my nails. Um, there was a time where for me self-care was just going shopping and buying some nice clothes. It evolves. It's not one thing that has to be self-care for you. But look after your mental health, um, look after your mind, protect it, guard it jealously, don't gossip, um, don't sit on the phone endlessly. Um, I have a rule where I don't want to be on the phone after 10 o'clock. I my phone silences any call that is not um welcome for don't have the number set on my phone. Um, and I don't pick up my phone before a certain time in the morning. Um, you know, I prioritize myself. I treat myself like a VIP. Um, there's something that we learned, they call it a perceptual code for children. I apply it to myself. I treat myself like a celebrity, and so you must treat me like a celebrity because I treat myself like a celebrity. Um it's not until it don't allow the world, just like we are talking about this thing now. Yes, we wait for foreigners to validate the things that we are doing. When they say it's okay, we'll say it's okay. If they say it's not good, you know, just like Afrobeats. They were saying Afrobeat, Afrobeat, which we say Afrobeat, Afrobeat. Pigeon English, we used to look down on Pigeon English. Now everybody is speaking Pigeon English in Nigeria because BBC Pigeon came and validated it.

SPEAKER_02: 52:12

Wow.

SPEAKER_01: 52:12

So don't let anybody validate anything for you if you feel it is good for you. If you want to treat yourself like, don't say until they call me celebrity before I'm a celebrity. I am a celebrity, whether you want to know it or not. It's your problem. It's you that we have the headache. I've already said it. I'm a celebrity, and I want to be treated as such. Yes, I want to be in a nice car, I want to go to a restaurant and you treat me nicely. I want you, you know, I want everything about me to be nice and beautiful and neat. And if you have a problem with this, that's your problem. It's not me. I don't have to deal with that. And if you say, okay, I'm a royalty, treat yourself as royalty. Eat like royalty. Don't eat from newspaper. You know what I'm saying? Buy your suyabod, put it in a nice China place. Treat yourself how you want other people to treat you. Absolutely. Dress how you want other people to treat you. Speak how you want other people to speak to you. That's how I do my own self-care. I want to be respected, so I respect myself a lot. You won't find me misbehaving outdoors because I don't want people to miss to to to to treat me anyhow. I mean, more on Saturday we had a conference and somebody had been they said they'd been following me, blah, blah, blah. And when they met me, she was out of excitement. She called me a name. A lot of people say I have a lot of energy when I'm working. So I was anchoring a program of over 10,000 teachers. So you can imagine the amount of energy that I needed, and I was performing. So obviously, I came with a lot of energy. After the performance, um, he called me a name. Yeah, he called me a name, and it wasn't a pleasant name. And I had to address it because that's how it starts. This is not who I am. I've built my brand, I've breathed my name. So don't call me that. I know you didn't mean it, you didn't mean any harm. But please don't call me that because tomorrow you call me that again or call me something worse. Yeah. That is how it starts. So anything that you don't want anybody to do to you, don't do it to yourself. Don't accept anything that you don't want anybody for any reason whatsoever. Put yourself on the front line, treat yourself well. Anything that you believe that you deserve, whether you can afford it or not, just own it in your mind first. The world must not dictate anything to me. The world cannot tell me that I'm beautiful. I don't need it. If somebody tells me, Oh, you're you're beautiful, you oh, I love the way you look. It's a it's nice to have compliments. But I've already complimented myself before I left the house. I tell people when I step out of my bed, the first thing I see is a mirror. When I step up into my bathroom, it's a mirror. Outside my room, it's a mirror. Down the staircase, two mirrors. Just as I leave the door, it's two, it's another mirror. It's not vanity. Is there a reason for that? It's not vanity, it's me telling myself that you look good. I'm affirming myself. Look at you. You are a child of God. I'm reminding myself, I'm telling myself. I don't have to wait for you to tell me that I'm beautiful before I'm beautiful. I'll post a picture and waiting for likes. Excuse me, that's what happened. I already know I'm beautiful. I don't need you to validate me.

SPEAKER_04: 55:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 55:22

I tell my daughter, I tell people around me the same thing. If their beauty standard is with one and everybody's carrying it, and I'm the only one that comes and shows up with this hair, it's fine. And many times I'm the only one that shows up with this kind of hair in many environments and even in the legos that I live in. And I will steal the I will steal the show. You even make it easy for me to be the most beautiful because I'm the one that's wearing the appetite. You guys can be battling and whose hair is fuller or whatever. I don't have to deal with that. This is me. Very, very comfortable. This is what I look like. I don't strip a wig and then I look different and scare my children and my husband with all sort of matted hair. This is who I am. I can go on.

SPEAKER_02: 56:01

Thank you so much, Dr. Ronke Posh. Thank you so much. I can listen to you all day. You know, there's a belief that I have that you train people on how to treat you. And you've absolutely just kind of just delivered that so eloquently. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 56:18

Thank you, and well done for the work that you're doing. More grace in Jesus' name.

SPEAKER_02: 56:22

Amen. Amen. And for those of you that have been listening, remember to like, share, subscribe because there are loads of valuable nuggets that have been discussed here today until I come your way again. I remain up here, Sonia. You're all sticker and God bless.