Space Is A Mirror: What You Allow Shapes Who You Become

What if the quality of your life is simply the story your space is telling back to you? Today we pull apart the idea of “space” across four domains physical, mental, spiritual, and relational and show how small, deliberate shifts create outsized results in mood, clarity, and connection.

We start with the tangible: how clutter quietly drains energy, steals focus, and makes even simple tasks feel uphill. You’ll hear why treating empty areas as intentional breathing room not gaps to fill can lower stress fast. Then we move inward to mental and emotional space, where conversations linger and interpretations set the tone for the day. We unpack how to identify energy “zappers,” why introverts and extroverts must manage their environments differently, and the practical art of reframing triggers so they stop replaying on loop.

From there, we widen the lens to spiritual space. No grand rituals needed just consistent, ordinary moments of prayer, worship, and gratitude that invite perspective and calm into a crowded schedule. We talk about trading hustle-only thinking for quiet insight, and why creating time for God steadies your decisions when life gets loud. Finally, we confront the myth of transactional relationships. Real connection grows when you make unhurried room for the people who love you for you, partners, children, siblings, and friends. You’ll learn simple ways to stop making loved ones feel invisible and build rituals that last long after the busy seasons end.

By the end, you’ll have a clear framework to edit your surroundings, curate your inputs, deepen your faith, and choose connection over convenience. If this conversation sparks a shift, share it with someone who needs lighter rooms, clearer thoughts, and warmer ties. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: which space will you change first?

Chapters

• 0:00 Energy Needs Of Introverts And Extroverts
• 0:46 Defining Space Across Life Domains
• 1:18 Physical Clutter And Mood Drain
• 4:50 Mental Clutter And People’s Influence
• 8:55 Reframing Triggers And Internal Filters
• 13:10 Sponsor Break And Invitation To Engage
• 14:28 Building Spiritual Space And Daily Practice
• 18:20 Relational Space Beyond Transactions
• 25:05 Intentional Living And Final Reflections

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Introverts, they need their space in order for them to sell. So introverts will need a bit of a meantime in order for their mental space not to be overcrowded. Right? So they want to take mental. Meanwhile, people that are extroverts, they need people around them in order for their energy to be in order for them to be able to manage their energy level in a positive way. So if you are an extrovert, you actually need to pay attention to the quality of people that are around you. The quality of people that are around you, they will contribute a lot to if you are productive or if you are not, just for me, busy in order for you to avoid it. On this episode, I am going to be talking about space. Now, I'm not talking about the galaxy, the stars, and all of that stuff. That's fascinating, too. Don't get me wrong. I'm talking about space, your physical space, your mental space, your spiritual space, your relational space. When we're talking about space, I'm not talking about how um about what you are doing in terms of um how much space that you have around you. No, it is in your physical space. How are you ensuring that your physical space has enough room for you to have the right energy around you? It is not being a minimalist, because as a parent, you can't really do that. You have children and they will have toys, they will have items, they will have things, and sometimes some of the clothes or the shoes they go through, they are still brand new because our children grow really fast. So you hold on to some of the items, especially shoes that they have had grown pretty fast and they still look new. You hold on to those items and then you want to pass it on to the next child in order for you to be able to save money and not just spend money the way you like, right? I am guilty of that, and sometimes it can lead you to building a habit of hoarding things, you are filling up every space in your house. And before you know it, you will notice that your energy begins to drain you. If you are already in this environment like I was, you will not easily notice it. It is when you go away for maybe one week or two weeks, and then you come back to this, your physical space, you begin to notice that I am feeling off. I am feeling uncomfortable because probably you've traveled to a place where the space was not filled up with things. You had enough space, enough room. You have space that there was nothing, and it was okay, and you begin to experience it that I am feeling uncomfortable. I need to do a bit of spring tiding in my home or in my room or in my office. Now, those space, when you clear it, you will begin to experience a shift whereby you just feel happy, you will see that your mood is better, you are feeling lighter, you are not feeling as if everywhere is chaotic around you. So I ask you again, how is your space? What are you doing with your space? Your physical space should be your sanctuary, not a place that will make you feel um claustrophobic. It shouldn't be a source of stress to you. So, in case you are feeling off, you notice that you are feeling off quite a lot recently. Maybe you need to look into your space. How is your space like? I'm not asking you to move into a bigger house or to move into a bigger office. I'm just saying with the space that you have physically, what are you doing with it? When you start creating room for prayer, it's okay for a place to be empty without nothing in it, without you filling you up or finding the need to fill it up. You begin to experience a better mood, you begin to feel more comfortable, you'll be you begin to experience less chaos as well. Now try it, and you'll see that you experience something, a shift somewhere. Now, let's move on to the mental and emotional space. This one is inside the mind. We are talking inside the mind. The mental and emotional clutter can be draining even more than the messy room or the messy office because you are constantly inside yourself, you cannot run away from yourself. How do we have how do we clear mental space or how do we clog our mental space by the people that we surround ourselves with? The people you surround yourself with will definitely have interaction with you. You will talk to them, they will talk to you. How are these conversations impacting you? There are some words that people will speak to you throughout that day. That word will be replaying in your mind, and you'll find out whenever you think about it, is either you are having a low mood, or maybe you are just having a mood swing. You are swinging from one mood to another. Other times, there are some people you have around you, they are just beautiful. They will help you to feel so if you are done before you realize that these people, whenever they are around you, you are happy, you are so in a very, very good mood. Who are these people? You need to identify it. The first set, they are energy zappers. They will zap the life out of you. Sometimes in a very subtle way that you will not even notice it. It is after you have left them, you begin to feel down yourself. You need to pay attention. How are the people around you, how are their energy affecting you? Are they depleting you or are they re-energizing you? Also, there are some people that depend on your personality. So you need to also know yourself. There is this theory that introverts they need their space in order for them to re-energize themselves. So introverts will need a bit of a meet time in order for their mental space not to be overcrowded, right? So if they want to declutter. Meanwhile, people that are extroverts, they need people around them in order for their energy to be up, in order for them to be able to manage their energy level in a positive way. So if you are an extrovert, you actually need to pay attention to the quality of people that are around you. The quality of people that are around you, they will contribute a lot to if you are productive or if you are not, just for me, busy in order for you to avoid them. Maybe you need to start questioning yourself. If you are feeling triggered around people, why are you feeling triggered around them? Is it the words that they speak or is it the way they contribute to whatever you bring to them? There are some people when you share your dreams with them, they must find a way to puncture it. Not because they want you to be cautious, but because they do not even believe in you, period. Whenever you say you want to do anything, they are not telling you to, they are not showing you this pointers in order for you to think things through. They are doing it to bring you down. So you need to find a way to just discover this. Some people, because they cannot do something, when you share that dream with them, they will find a way to discourage you from not doing that thing you wanted to achieve or that goal you wanted to achieve. Or sometimes, some people, when you are doing things and they also have that idea as well, they'll find a way to dissuade you from doing it so that they will be the only one to run with that idea. So you need to find a way to know the people that are around you to understand the Buddha around you. Okay? And how do you um declutter your emotional space by not taking things too serious? Don't take things too serious, right? When things happen and you offend you, you need to find out within yourself what was the meaning that you attached to it. What is that meaning that you attach to that situation or to that word or to the tone? The meaning you attach to it will affect how long you replay and replay that incident. So if you look into it, okay, this meaning that I attached to it is that the tone they spoke to me, I find that tone to be very, very condescending. Or the words that they spoke to me, I find that they were belittling me. So you have the power to rephrase it. Is it really possible for someone to bitual you without your consent? How are you giving your consent to this person to bitual you? Surely the words that people speak to you, if you interpret it to be belittling you, or maybe they look at you as incivic, insignificant, or they look at you as irrelevant, of course you're gonna feel upset. But if you flip it and think, is this person deflecting? Is this how they feel about themselves? And so they have to use that word of me in order for me to also interpret it like that. So sometimes the words that people use is not about you, it might be about them, or maybe it's just you were in the crossfire. So you need to create a new narrative to that word in order for you to stop replaying it. Because some people you have conversation with them in the morning, in the evening, you have left them, they are still replaying that conversation and they are re triggering themselves over and over again. So, in order for you to be able to clear your emotional space, you need to find a new meaning that will empower you to words that people are using that is a trigger word to you or the tone that someone is using. Some people, it's just their tone. Some people speak very loud, some people speak very low. We just have different pitch. So you need to then reconcile with yourself the interpretation you are going to give to that tone or to that word. Okay? So you liberate yourself. So change the meaning that you attach to it. You also need to evaluate your internal filters that you are using to process your experiences. Because sometimes it is the experience that we already have before that we are using to interpret other experiences that are similar to what we are going through. So if you met, for example, a Scottish Ma, I love to use this example. If you met a Scottish Ma for the first time and the Scottish Ma spoke very ashly to you, the next time you see someone dressed as a Scottish person, even if they are not even a Scottish man or a Scottish woman, what will happen is that you will find yourself guarding yourself, guarding your space. You'll find yourself being very defensive because you don't want to be attacked again. Because the first encounter with a Scottish person was not pleasant. So it doesn't mean that all Scottish people that you meet going forward they are unpleasant. Right? So the law of first experience is very powerful. So you begin to wear that as a filter that you use in analyzing other people that look like that or other experiences that are similar to what happened to you before. So you have to be re-evaluate yourself and find a way to refrain and also mean and also avoid assumption. Assumption is the killer of relationship, right? So you need to also relationship with yourself and others, so you need to find a way to evaluate your internal filters and move past it. It is time for you to shift those speak those filters and speak over your mind. Let go of things that are very, very disempowering to you. So you need to choose a strategy that will help you. Believe change is one of those. If you can't do it by yourself, you can speak to a coach like myself and we can help you to process it and give you a mindset shift. Now, the next space that you need to declutter it is the spiritual space. This episode is sponsored by ASAP Consultancy, a whole personal transformation for the mind, body, and soul. If you are ready to mind, move away from depression, feel anxiety, live emotions, emotional, and live with confidence in the ability to ability for you to move from surviving to thriving. Why don't you visit our website www.asebconsultancy.com. We'll support you through counseling, life coaching, and other trauma recovery programs, grief courses, and it will even offer one at a time therapy. All of these services is available virtually, so you do not even have any excuse of saying you do not want to leave your home. You have everything from the comfort of your home will support you to move from surviving to driving. Before you go, have you subscribed yet? Like, share, and comment on what resonates with you so far on this episode? If you have not done so, why don't you just click that button now? Thank you. Back to the program now. Your spiritual space, right? How what are you doing with your time per se? How much time are you creating to spend with your creator? How much space are you creating? Are you one of those that your schedule is so full that you do not have the time to even say, thank you, Lord, for giving me breath? Thank you, Lord, for waking me up today. This one is deeply personal and yet it is incredibly powerful because your relationship with your maker will also determine your quality of your relationship with others. So when you create a space intentionally to speak to God, either just through prayers, through worship, or through meditating on his word over and over again, or even studying his word, you are creating space. The space that you make for God is the space that is going to fill in your life. A lot of people only make space for God when they are in trouble, when things are not going well in their life. This is the time they will become fervent. Oh Lord, in the morning they wake up, is the first person. Good morning, Jesus. How are you today? Oh Lord, I want this, I want that, the da. And they carry on like that. And when they achieve what they want, it is goodbye. Au revoir, God. And they just carry on. They are too busy. They are jumping from one meeting to another. You should never be too busy for your God. Creating spirit for God does not require any big gesture or perfect conditioning. You could meet with God in your own car on your way to pick your children. You could create that space to talk to God. While you are cooking, you could create space to talk to God. You should never be too busy for the giver of life. Never be too busy. Find time. So how are you going to do this? You need to create time. Everybody is too busy, we know, but we all have 24 hours. So what are you doing with your 24 hours? Open your Bible. We have there's no excuse now. You have a Bible on your phone. Meditate on the scripture, even if it's one scripture that you know. Meditate on it, meditate on it over and over again and draw strength from it. See, when you meditate on his word and you do not stand before evil people, he said every part of your skills and your talent will remain ever great and you will flourish in every season. Is in Psalm 1, verse 1 to 3. Is there his word is spirit and life? When you make space for God, you will fill it up. If you create 15% space for God, you will fill it up. The other parts will be yours. If you create 25% for God, he will fill it up. 75% will be yours. But you also feel the impact of that 25%. But the more you surrender to God, the more you talk to him, not out of a need, not out of an obligation, but how to cultivate a genuine relationship with him, you begin to experience a shift. You begin to do not so much, but you experience bountiful. I'm not saying spending time with God makes you lazy, but I'm just saying there are certain things that we do. We think it is by power or by might. It is not. It is by the Spirit of God. So even if you build, you spend early in the morning, wake up and say, what is the point of walking like an elephant and eating like an ant? That is the difference I'm talking about. There are some divine insights that you will get. It is from the space that you create with your maker. Create a lifestyle of gratitude, whereby the more you create space, the more grateful you are. And you will you will see that rumination and worry will be far from you. It will be far from you. Gratitude helps us to remove spiritual clutters. Meditating on the word of God helped to remove spiritual clutters. Worshiping God helped to remove spiritual clutters, and you create a space for joy, for peace, for divine insight and divine perspective. It's beautiful, isn't it? It's putting into action that is where it is intentionally. Now let's move on to relational space. We crave connection, connection. However, a lot of people are into transactional relationships. People are ready to have a relationship with someone as long as they are able to get something back, like a pest, but they never give back. So the relational space that they create is based on what you bring to the table. What can I get with you? What connection do you have? Who do you know? So that by the time I create space for you, then by extension, I will also have open space to your contacts. What position do you occupy that by the time I Create space for you, that status will rubber for me, and I can get some connection, some of your connection. So people only create space for those that are well positioned, for those they can get something from, from those that they know that they are in the season of their life where everybody, maybe they are in power politically or something, and they just want to be there with them. Or the the mommies of the church or the fathers of the church or people in your workplace, the leaders you want to be. You want to create space for them, but you cannot create space for your own children. You can't create space for your wife, you can't create space for your husband, you can't create space for your siblings, you can't create space for your parents, you can't create space for people that you perceive they cannot do much for you. You can't create, you can't just be friends with people because you genuinely care about them without any ulternal motive. But we all crave connection. Connection does not just happen. You have to create space for it. How are you creating space for valuable relationships in your life? There are people on their deathbed, all they are surrounded with is the medical personnel, the nurses, the doctors, but there is no family member there. Because when they were able, when they were strong, they did not make space for their children, they did not make space for their spouse, they did not make space for their siblings, they did not make space for people that will be with you for no reason. They will be with you because they love you, they will be with you because they genuinely care. You didn't make space for them. You are craving space. A child you do not make space for, you will never connect with. And if you don't connect with a child, you do not correct them. Because when you correct them, they will rebel, they will rebel against you. Even as an educator, you have to connect with the student in your class in order for them to know. They have to genuinely know that you care about them. It's not just teaching them about English, math, science, history, geography. You have to connect with the students for them to be able to know that you care and they will listen to you. The same thing with parents. If you don't connect with your child, when you correct them, they will listen to you. But when you connect with them, when you correct them, they know you are speaking from your heart because you care for them. A spouse that you do not make space for will soon feel invisible. And then they will find that connection with another person. May with the children. There are people that are married for 20 years, 30 years. Immediately the children leave the house, the marriage will collapse. And people are like, What? They've been married for a long time. Let me tell you, they were project coordinators. They were coordinating the life of their children. And once the project was over, because the children they have left the home now because they are now independent, you will see that crack in the marriage begin to show. Because maybe one of the partners did not give space for a partner or the spouse. And before you know it, the other one will lean towards the children or they will lean towards work. This is why some people, once they retire, there will be a crack in their marriage. And you see them getting depressed. Because there was no genuine space in the home. Create space for your spouse. Stop making your spouse feel invisible. A sibling that you did not create space for will soon become a stranger. If you do not create space for your siblings, for your parents, they're as good as being a stranger. Create space for them genuinely. When people create space for you, value it, honor it. Don't take people for granted. A friend you do not make space for will soon drift away. And when you need genuine friends, there will be no one around you. Creating relational space means allowing time to slow down where you genuinely check on people. It's just a test. Few seconds you can send a test, few minutes you can chat with someone. Doesn't matter how busy you are. How are you? I just thought about you and I decided to check on you. It goes a long way. We need to learn to be mindful of what we are doing with our space. What are you doing with your space? You can't say, Oh, I'm praying, I'm fasting, I'm praying and fasting, you don't spend time with your children. You can't say, I'm spending time with my children, you don't create time for God. We need to find a way to harmonize things in that 24 hours. What can you do that will help you to remain conscious of your time, but you'll see use it in a meaningful way that you'll be present. Relationships should not be should not be transactional. Create space, create space in your home, physical space, in your office. Create space for God. Create space for relationship. Create emotional space. I have shared different ways that you can create space. What are you feeling with your space? What are you doing with your space? Is your space filled with clutters physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? Or are you making room for things that are important? For peace, for love, for purpose, for presence. Because whatever you allow in your space, how you use your space will eventually reflect in your quality of life. If you do not get the reports now, in your old age, you will get the reports. Let us learn to be intentional in order for us to authentically thrive in our life. I really do hope that you will take a lot from this. Even me, I'm so mindful of what I do with my space now. Whether it's been physically, spiritually, emotionally. I'm very, very intentional with what I'm doing. Be intentional until I come your way again. My name is Abia Sonia. I am your host. Keep liking, sharing, commenting. And keep five.