Character Nurturing: Helping or Hurting Curiosity?

We challenge harmful labels and show how to turn “too much” into strength through belief, guidance, and practice. Real stories and practical steps help parents and adults nurture curiosity, choose the right mediums, and build confidence that lasts.

• seeing traits as raw material not flaws
• stories of Edison, Wright brothers, Kamkwamba, Curie, Adichie, Myles Munroe
• choosing mediums for storytelling beyond writing
• respecting different learning styles and pacing
• letting interest guide activities not stereotypes
• scaffolding growth with clear feedback and boundaries
• education across home, library, kitchen, studio, and street
• parents as advocates and modelers of confident speech
• adults returning to study and turning gifts into service

This episode is sponsored by ASAP Consultancy, a home of personal transformation for the mind, body, and soul
Why don't you visit our website www.asebconsultancy.com
Before you go, have you subscribed yet? Like, share, and comment on what resonates with you so far on this episode. If you have not done so, why don't you just click that button now?

Chapters

• 0:00 Words, Belief, And Self-Worth
• 0:20 Storytelling And Many Ways To Create
• 1:51 Personality Differences And Parenting
• 4:11 Edison And The Power Of Advocacy
• 5:30 Wright Brothers And Sparking Curiosity
• 6:38 Let Interest Guide, Not Stereotypes
• 8:20 Learning Styles And Mislabels
• 10:20 Sponsor Message And Resources
• 11:06 Celebrate African Storytellers
• 13:05 Education Beyond The Classroom
• 15:00 Turn Natural Tendencies Into Calling
• 17:20 Grow Strengths Through Gentle Challenge
• 19:20 See “Too Much” As Untapped Talent
• 21:00 Advocate For Children And Yourself
• 31:46 Closing Reflections And Farewell

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

So the words of other people can either kill you or activate you, but you must believe in yourself. You must believe in your child. We have to learn to observe our children and nurture their skills and their ability and their personality. It is so, so important. Now let's come back home. What about Shino Ashibe? He's the father of African literature. His parents nurtured his reading and his storytelling gift. His book is one of the most important, most sought-after African novel's wide world. Even in school, things fall apart. We used to read it and all of that stuff. We need to encourage our children to read, to write about things. I enjoy writing, I enjoy telling stories. What about you? Do you enjoy telling stories? Now in our digital world, there are some people that actually enjoy telling stories digitally. They'll create animation, they will create robotics, and they will tell their story through that. How do you enjoy telling your story? You don't have to be good at talking or speaking to people. You can tell your stories through different mediums these days, thanks to different technological advancement that we are experiencing now. There are some people as well, they might be good at after talking, they will then download it and then transcribe it. Because some people they share their stories more when they're talking verbally, but when you ask them to write it, they are not really, really good at capturing it the way dresses you when they're speaking about it. So if you have that book that you promote, maybe you need to start talking about it and then you transcribe it and turn it into a book. In this session, I'm going to be speaking about our character and our personality traits. We are all different. We are not the same. Even those of us that are siblings, you will realize that we all have different personality, we all have different ways that we do things, we all have different ways that we like things to be done in order for us to appreciate it. We are not the same, and it's not fair for us to think that people are going to be like us. The differences in us is what makes the world a better place. However, as adults, as we begin to grow, we realize that there are some personality traits that we see in our children, and then we try to, you know, um do so much, and at the end of the day, we end up damaging that personality that is unique to them. I have seen too many teenagers and even adults that their personality was an issue when they were growing up, maybe because they were very people say you are too hyper, or people might say you are too loud, or people might say you are too quiet. These are different opinions of different people. I remember when I was growing up, a lot of people thought I was going to be a lawyer. As a matter of fact, I was referred to as a lawyer of the family because I just enjoy speaking when I see the need to speak. And I enjoy stories, I enjoy telling stories just like I'm doing now. Imagine if my parents have said you speak too much, you talk too much, be quiet, don't speak, don't do this. I would have I would not have been able to, I would have lost my personality, I would have lost my self-confidence. There are so many people that we admire in the world today that has made positive transformation to the world. If you keep if you are the one that is watching this video um on YouTube, you will notice that I have light shining on me in order for me to be able to project myself properly in this video. This light that I'm enjoying right now, the light that you are enjoying, was created by a man or invented by a man called Thomas Edison. And if you check history or you go and do your research, you wouldn't realize that Thomas Edison was labeled as unteachable by his teachers. But his mother was his advocate. His mother did not believe a word of what the teachers are saying. She pulled him out of school, nurtured his curiosity, and he did not give up, even though his attempt to create light bob failed many times. But if you check the research, you realize that he did not give up because he had a supportive mother around him, and he went on to patent about 1000 inventions. Parents, what are you doing to instill confidence in your children? How are you unnursing their unique personality trait in a positive way in order for them to keep their confidence and soar like an ego? Your belief in your child is very, very important. It doesn't matter if all the teachers see otherwise, but if you keep nurturing that positive, that behavior in a positive light, sooner rather than later, the teachers will know that they were not right and they do not know your child better than you. I will move on again to talk about the right brothers. I'm sure a lot of you went on holiday or have been on holiday where you have to use the plane to travel from one continent to another or from one country to another. You are able to fly from one place to another because of the right brothers. Who their father bought them a toy, and that triggered something in them. Their parents did not say this is just a toy, don't get your hope high. They started doing different research on how to fly a plane in a real sense in reality rather than just enjoying the toy version of it. Different encouragement from their parents sparked their lifelong vision to reality, which burdened the plane that we are all using today. So, what about you? Have you noticed what's fascinates your child? What have you done to ensure that you are nurturing that fascination in your child that would then propel their curiosity to dive deeper and become better at that particular thing that they are interested in? I have a child who particularly loves drawing, and I ensure that there is paper, there is coloring, there is pence for her to be able to draw, for her to be able to paint. I don't know where that is going to lead her to, right? But at the end of the day, I'm creating that space for her. A lot of parents have a way, especially um the stereotype for boy things boys and girls should do. For your child is upsetting, especially if you have the boys, you just put them in football. Even when they don't like football, you will force them to attend the academy. And at the end of the day, they still don't even pursue it even further. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't allow your children to explore different types of skills, different types of sports. But I'm just saying let it in you know, follow, let their interests be a guide to the things that you put them to. And even when you put them in things that you wish you had done as a child, you need to observe, do they really like this? I love instruments. Okay, I cannot even play any instrument apart from shaking it and worrying, but I do admire people that play instruments, and my husband played the piano. So, what did I do? I tried to encourage my children to learn the instrument, and they went for instrument lessons, playing the piano and everything, and I realized that they only enjoyed it for a season, and after that, they were not interested. I did not compel them to keep on going to that piano lesson. One, it was very expensive. I was going out of my way to take them to this activity, but I did not also want to upset them, I don't want to force them to do things that they did not genuinely like. So when we tried it for a season and it did not work. Now, a season was about a year, they liked it initially, but sooner rather than later, the interest just dwindled. We still have a piano where they can still play if they want to, but it was no longer something that was one of their extra activity. So I followed their guide into the things that I saw they are fascinating, they were fascinated about, and they are excelling in that. Another um famous character that has made so much perceived impact in the world is William Kam Kwamba. William Kam Kwamba is a Malawi citizen, and I don't know if you've seen the film The Boy Who Earnest the Wind. It's a film that that that that that showed the history of William Kam Kwamba, where his parents were not able to pay his school fees, he was struggling, and where he was going to school was really, really far. But he was a child that loved reading, he loved research, and he just kept on reading. He went to the library, he will carry books and he will borrow them, and he will read. Sometimes he will even read some pages, trying to um to create the things that he read in the books, and he started, you know, doing different practices, and before you know it, he was able to build a windmill for his village, and this gave his village electricity and light, even though he was expelled from school because his parents were not able to pay school fees, he was the one that was not able to create an invention that gave his village electricity and water through the windmill. So I don't know. It doesn't matter. Oh, maybe you were not able to go to higher education when you were younger. You can still go back right now and go and do follow your dream and do that study that you always wanted to do. It is never too late. You know, your parents were not able to pay. What about you? Are you able to pay your school fees right now? You can also take the time and then go and invest in yourself and make your dream come true rather than staying in regret and in bitterness and in anger because your parents were not able to do that. Okay, there's a man that is known as Philip. Philip Emaguali. He is known as the father of the internet, even though he grew up in poverty according to his history. Philip's father encouraged him to because he saw the interest, his interest in computer, he would encourage him, he will read books and he would do all sorts of things. And now he's known as the father of internet. Education, uh, when we can educate ourselves, not only in school, we can educate ourselves by reading, we can educate ourselves by listening to intellectually stimulating information and then taking action. Because when you're just listening or you are learning from someone alone, that is philosophy. However, when you begin to put it into action, that is where the change and the transformation begin to take place. So, what are you exposing your children to? What resources are you exposing your children to? Are you just sticking them in front of TV always? Now, I'm not gonna go all right on some people because sometimes I my children watch TV as well. We get entertained, but I'm just trying to say, how are you stimulating them intellectually? It's I used to watch TV as a child, and I still told that all right. So it is okay to watch TV, but I'm just saying, we need as parents, we need to start thinking, how are we stimulating our children intellectually? And their creativity, are we stimulating it, their curiosity, are we encouraging it? What they are fascinated about, how are we encouraging and providing the right resources for them? That is what I'm talking about. Okay, so there are so many people. What about Maria Kuri that a lot of people talk about? She breaks barriers in science. Against all odds, she pursued her studies and became the first woman to win a noble prize. How did she get there? Encouragement from her father kept her focus. She was one of those that their parents believe in equal opportunities for boy child and a girl child. Okay, the boy child is important, a girl child is important. I know now in recent times that is becoming is fading away, but it is still there. It is still there in a very subtle way where we feel there are certain things a girl child should do, certain things a boy child should do. We should just create equity whereby whatever it is, the body respective of your gender, whatever it is that you need to flourish to try to succeed, we should make those resources available. This one is one of my favorites, Myles Moreau. The late Miles Moreau, do you know that it was actually called Dumb by his teachers? Imagine the great Myers Moreau, one of the best leadership speaker, trainer that I've ever listened or read this book is Myles Moreau. But his own teacher called him Dumb. I'm not quite sure the version of him that a teacher saw or had a teacher arrive at that. One thing about school sometimes, they box you. If you don't fit into the box of what they expect you to be in, then you are given one label or the other. This one is dumb, this one doesn't cash on really fast. This one is this. We all have our unique way of learning. Some people learn more when you give them opportunity to experience what they are learning, learning with their hands, hands-on. I am one of those people, I learn faster, hands-on. When you're showing me how to do something, just create the opportunity for me to actually practicalize what I'm learning. And before you know it, I will just cash on pretty fast. When people keep talking at me, I'm just like, okay, calm down. This is why when I learn things, I quickly take action because the more action I take, the more that learning is part of me, it is ingrained inside of me, and then I'm able to then teach other people. So, what about you? Are you a kinesthetic learner like me? I know we all have different different percentages of different types of learning. It's not just one size fit, or but however, we have our primary learning style, we have our secondary learning style. Are you one of those that is very visual? You have to see the things that you are talking about, you have to see what you are learning in order for you to be able to learn it. There are some people you just give them instructions, bam, they understand and they deploy whatever they have learned. So my role was called dumb by experience, maybe because he did not fit into the box of the teacher the way he expected him to learn. But against all odds, my role became one of the most sought-after leaders and a coach leader in the world. He coached so many precedents in the world, and he changed life, even though he is gone, he's still changing life, his teachings are still relevant, he's still a global voice. So the words of other people can either kill you or activate you, but you must believe in yourself, you must believe in your child. We have to learn to observe our children and nurture their skills and their ability and their personality, it is so so important. This episode is sponsored by ASAP Consultancy, a home of personal transformation for the mind, body, and soul. If you are ready to write out, move away from depression, ill anxiety, from traumatic emotional ability, and live with confidence in order for you to gain quality, for you to move from surviving to thriving. Why don't you visit our website www.asebconsultancy.com. We'll support you through counseling, life coaching, and other trauma recovery programs, grief courses, and we even offer one at a time therapy. All of these services is available virtually, so you do not even have any excuse of saying you do not want to leave your home. You have everything from the comfort of your home will support you to move from surviving to thriving. Before you go, have you subscribed yet? Like, share, and comment on what resonates with you so far on this episode. If you have not done so, why don't you just click that button now? Thank you. Back to the program now. Now let's come back home. What about Shino Ashibe? He's the father of African literature. His parents nurtured, his reading and a storytelling gift. His book is one of the most important, most sought-after African novel's wide world. Even in school, things fall apart. We used to read it and all of that stuff. We need to encourage our children to read, to write about things. I enjoy writing, I enjoy telling stories. What about you? Do you enjoy telling stories? Now in our digital world, there are some people that actually enjoy telling stories digitally. They'll create animation, they will create robotics, and they will tell their story through that. How do you enjoy telling your story? You don't have to be good at talking or speaking to people. You can tell your stories through different mediums these days, thanks to different technological advancement that we are experiencing now. There are some people as well, they might be good at after talking, they will then download it and then transcribe it. Because some people they share their stories more when they're talking verbally, but when you ask them to write it, they are not really, really good at capturing it the way it will interest you when they are speaking about it. So if you have that book that you've been wanting to bet, maybe you need to start talking about it, and then you transcribe it and turn it into a book. If you start making that book, make sure you send me a copy of it. Okay, you might be the next Shinoa Shabe, or your child might be the nest Shino Ashbe. We do not know. So, what have you taken? There is another one that is more recent, which is Shima Shimamanda Ungozi uh Dische. She's also a storyteller, she's not a global voice. I absolutely love that lady. I love her confidence, I love the way she speaks with authority, with audacity. Do you know that your child that you're always telling you talk too much, you talk too much, you talk too much, actually become the next Shima Amanda, and even maybe greater than Shima Manda? So don't tell your child you talk too much, you write too much, you do this too much. What is it that they are doing too much? How are we going to to help them help them manage that thing that they voluntarily do too much and then make it their superpower, their super strength? You need to think about it. There are some children that are really good with the little ones, but is there something there that you just feel like while you play with the little ones at your age? Really at your age? Maybe they are just really good at looking after the little ones. There might be something there. How can you use it? A child that is only singing in the house, is there something there that you can use? Is it possible she's a singer? Is it possible she's an artist? Maybe she's a spoken word person. We don't know. You can't just tell people you do this too much without thinking looking at it in a holistic way and finding ways to encourage that person to use it in a positive light. Shimamanda, you want to know and love. I'm here to meet anybody that don't love, that do not love, no love. I do not love Shimanda. Uh stories are so beautiful. Children love our stories, adults love their stories. She has put Nigeria in the map of the world. Let your children express their opinion, but they are not too much. You can find ways to help them to grow their skills. They are people, they enjoy baking, they are people, they enjoy cooking. Education is important, don't get me wrong. But education does not stop in the four walls of schools. You can be educated outside of schools, you can be educated. Kitchen, you can be educated in your home, you can be educated in the street, you can be educated in the church, you can be educated in in uh in the theater, you can be educated in the sports hall, you can be educated in different ways. What is education? It's the ability to learn and understand what it is that you have learned. So, why then do we restrict you to the four corners of schools if they don't they are not learning math, English, science, or geography or history or other things they are not learning? The children can learn other things. So today I am encouraging you what is that one skill that you just find yourself you enjoy doing? You might enjoy taking photographs, you might enjoy recording. What is it that you enjoy doing that you can then use to make positive transformation in the world? I'm able to call the names of people that I've just called because they made positive impact with their gift, with their skills and with their talents. What are you going to do with that skills that you have been using for so long? So, for example, even before I became a qualified counselor and also a life coach, for time immemorial, I remember that people just find it so easy to unbond their hearts to me. They just find it really, really easy to speak to me. And as they speak to me, I don't know, God just gave me the wisdom on what to say to them, on how to speak to them. That was just in it. It has always been there. My friends in school, they can attest to this, my family members, they can attest to this, that people really find it easy. And when you speak to me, I'm not one of those that would then go and tell A, B, C, to Z everything that you said. I just have, even before I even knew what confidentiality was, I just have a way of keeping my mouth shut. So friend A, tell me this. Friend B, do not know to know about it. I just find a way to keep it quiet. And I actually find it a privilege that someone could find it, find me um safe enough to confide in me. And God, in his infinite mercy, give me the grace to know what to say at the right time to that person. So when life, you know, moved me to the line of counseling and life coaching, I just said, Wow, finally I'm home. Like my husband will always tell me, just stick to it, stick with it. Because I have a way, the tendency or the characteristics of a polymath. A polymath is someone that can be good at different things at the same time. So at the end of the day, they end up just giving their energy to different things. So I have that tendency to do that. So my husband just tells me, just stick to this. I love the way you are glowing, I love the way you enjoy doing this. It is it comes natural to you, so just stay at doing it. So after all, that talking that a lot of people thought I was going to be a lawyer, that I even went to study law for a bit for um, it was not law after all. It was for counseling and life coaching. I still don't know where this um character or personality would take me to, but I'm sure it would be to make positive impact in the life of people. What about you? What is that one thing that you're good at? What about your children? Pay attention, observe them. We don't have to impose ourselves in our children the things we wanted to do as a child that we couldn't do, and that we are not pushing our children to do it. It doesn't have to be like that. If your child has exploited and they do not show any particular interest, it's fine to leave them be and then create the resources to nurture that thing that they like, that they love, that they enjoy, that they blossom at. Now it doesn't mean that will not challenge them. Once they become comfortable, then move on to the next level. Even though I enjoy talking, I was not very good at public speaking when the people are a lot at some point in my life. But as as um different opportunities help me to overcome that, that now I can speak. It doesn't matter the size of the people, I can just confidently speak there. So sometimes, even when you are good at that thing, you will need to be growing at it gradually. Gradually you become good at it. You move from one level to another, to another, to another, to another. So a child who is good at just drawing animals by then move on to drawing human beings. And when I mean drawing, there is nothing in front of them. They can just draw naturally like that. A child that is good at singing, maybe doing a cover page, a cover album of other singers, might soon become a writer and then start writing their own music. You see that progression, right? Someone that enjoys cooking, maybe you just enjoy cooking African meal. Before you know it, you start enjoying cooking other delicacies from other continents, from other countries. That is growth. Someone that enjoys dancing, but just know a few steps and know how to wing it, but before you know it, they know how to create their own choreography. That is growth. Someone that enjoys baking, but just enjoy making the basic thing, but before you know it, they know how to make different flavors. Lemon dress, um, they know how to make red vever cake, they know how to make Victoria sponge, they know how to make tiger cake, different flavors. That is great. Am I making you hungry? So these are the things. Pay attention to your children, and if anybody comes and say this child is too boisterous, or this anything that your child is too much of, pay attention, pay attention, ask yourself how do I support this child to turn this character into his strength? How do I do that? If you have a child that loves speaking, that loves talking, and people think she's rude because she will just speak back at you, she just talk back at you. How about finding a way to unless that child's ability to speak with confidence and say, okay, when you do it like this, it's rude, but when you do it like this, it is okay. You teach them, you model it to them, that that child will still be a confident speaker, but will no longer be a rude speaker. How about a child that maybe do not genuinely like maths? Me, I did not like maths when I was in school. It was not my strength, but literature I love. Food um economy, uh, food home economies, I love. And no wonder I actually taught food technology and the different strengths of technology as um educator for a while. Okay, so you see those things come back because it was in it, it was me. So, what is that one thing that is you? That is you that you are good at doing it, even if they wake you up without preparation and they say, Come come and sing without a mic, and then you just sing, you sing like a nightingale, and everybody like wow, who is that person singing? What are you doing with that beautiful voice? Maybe you are one of those people that you are very good at conflict resolution. It doesn't matter the conflict, people will just listen to you because you have a way of bringing different different people's perspective, and then they begin to see okay, this is where I held, this is where I should do better, and they'll just listen to you. That's your gift. That is your gift. A lot of people think I need to fast and pray for my gift. I believe in fasting and prayer, but there are some gifts that are right in front of you, your children's gifts are right in front of you, but because it's too much, you don't see it as a gift. Wake up. Wake up and begin to see your gift as a gift. Rise up, open your eyes and begin to see your gift as a gift. Let us be the advocate for our children. Let us learn to teach our children to advocate for themselves too. Other people's opinion do not have to be the be-it-all and the know it all about our destiny. Our destiny is still unfolding. So please don't allow anybody to tell you you are too much. Don't allow anybody to tell you you are taking too much space. Don't allow anybody to tell you you are shining too bright. Don't allow anybody to tell you you are too much of anything. You are just you, and you are perfect the way you are. Thank you so much for listening to Authentic Driving Podcast. I've had fun doing this video on my own today because this topic, I found it really fascinating, and I do hope that it will give you time to reflect, and I do hope that I resonate with you until I come your way, keep soaring, keep driving authentically. Thank you, and bye for now.