How She Built a Book Club That Inspired Others to Pursue Their Vision

An introvert builds a reading club for adults and suddenly 8 people become 74. That is not a “social media trick” story, it is a story about courage, consistency, and doing the work so well you are proud to put your name on it.

We sit down with Adedoja, founder of Read with Doja, to trace how her relationship with books starts with longing and limited access, then turns into a community that reduces isolation and strengthens confidence. We talk about the real benefits of reading for mental health and wellbeing: stress reduction, empathy, relaxation, better sleep, and keeping your mind active. More importantly, we explore how a book club structure creates accountability for busy adults who say they “used to read” but cannot stick to it anymore.

Doja shares the methods that help her lead while protecting her energy as an introvert: separating personality from purpose, staying anchored to a clear why, and setting boundaries so she can rest without guilt. We also get practical about group leadership: creating awareness when you are naturally discreet, handling inconsistency without taking it personally, checking in with members as humans first, and leading by example with regular reading prompts. Plus, we dig into how books can spark creativity and action, turning reading into mindset change and even new business ideas.

If you want to build a reading habit, start a book club, or lead a community with quiet confidence, this one will give you tools you can use today. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a push to start, and leave us a review. What is the idea you are going to birth after listening?

Transcript

Authenticity, Excellence, And Starting

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Even if I didn't get people in the reading group, I am I started with myself and then I was able to grow you know over time in it. So yeah, you have to start with yourself and the courage. The more you do it with yourself, when you see what you're doing, the energy will keep flowing and the courage will be there to do more. Because when you produce anything with your hand and you can see the quality of what you're doing, you'll be proud of yourself too. You will do more.

SPEAKER_08 0:31

So start start with yourself again. Thank you, Georgia. What I hear you say there is that you have to be authentic and settle it in your mind that this is the direction that you're going in. And another thing that I hear you say there is excellence. Even you can say whatsoever you are trying to do, that you should do it well. So you say do it well to a great standard, that even you have to have your name.

SPEAKER_03 1:00

Exactly, exactly. Exactly. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_08 1:04

Yes, so that regardless of your personality, if you are authentic, if you deliver with excellence, and you are persistent and consistent, you will break through, it doesn't really matter, and even if it doesn't come out um the way you want it, it's still okay. At least you try to start. That's the most important thing. Thank you very much. Now, um I've I've done a lot of I've started a lot of things, and I know that it's not easy to go from eight to 70-something members because at the end of the day, you are the vision bearer, so you see what other people do not see. Please tell us some of the challenges that you faced. Uh starting read with Doja and how you able to navigate it.

Meet Ade Doja And Her Mission

SPEAKER_08 1:53

Hello, and welcome to Authentic Traveling Podcast. And today I've got me a very, very special guest in the person of Ade Doja. Did I call her right?

SPEAKER_04 2:05

Yeah, Ade Dojo, yeah, you did well. Okay, thank you. Thank you for having me, Sonia. Thank you. And you're doing a really good job. Salute for courage. Well done. Good job.

SPEAKER_08 2:18

Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 2:19

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_08 2:20

Ah, thank you for accepting the invitation. So today I'm just gonna ask you to introduce yourself because I feel like you are gonna do it better than I would do.

SPEAKER_04 2:31

Okay, you've just mentioned my name. Well, my name is Ade Doja. I'm married, I've got two kids, a boy and a girl. Um Ade Doja is I'll say I'm a unique, crafted human being that God favored. I'm a favored person, you know, and it has always been like that up until you know, obviously doubt was setting. But I'm a um I'm a very I'm a mother, I'm a friend, I'm a philanthropist, I'm a businesswoman, I'm an entrepreneur, um, I work with the civil service, and I'm a founder of a reading club. So I wear a lot of hats, and I'm a favored person to crown it up, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 3:29

So let's say I like that. I like that I'm a favored person. I really like that. I believe you are. Out of curiosity, what is the meaning of a dado ja? I've never met anybody called a dado jar before.

SPEAKER_04 3:42

When I said I'm favored, um even in my name, you know. So my name means my crown is what it. Wow, yeah, so anybody that have if I happen to give you my crown or you're in my space, or I know you, you're what it. So my crown is what it is what my name is.

SPEAKER_08 4:09

Oh, that's beautiful, beautiful. I love it, right? Let's get into it. So, you are the fan of Read with Doja. So, the first time I heard about Read with Doja, I was like, ah, reading for adults, a reading club for adults. How is she able to do this and pull it off? Because a lot of people will say when I was younger, when I was a teenager, I used to enjoy reading and all of that stuff, but as an adult, I don't remember the last time I've been able to sit with a book and just read. Now you are not just a reader, but you are ash you actually manage a reading club. Please tell us about that.

The Childhood Roots Of Reading

SPEAKER_04 4:52

Where do I start and begin? So I'm gonna I'm gonna reverse back to my start, meaning um, I was never a reader, but I was always longing to read, right? So the kind of environment that I did my high school is I've got children, or should I say mates, I'll say children of students from a well-to-do background, far way more than me, that's you know, after their holidays, when we are off school, they come to the UK, to all over the world, you know, come for summer holiday and all of that. So when they return, they bring in all sorts of books. And then people start to kill, students, their maids start to kill, I'm after you, I'm after you, I'm after you. But because in the kind of school that I went, there's kind of like hierarchy in terms of do you understand what I mean? So everybody queues up to read a certain book. I also joined to kill, but the book never gets to me. Wow. By the end of the time, when I see the book that you are queen of, the book is already ripped and torn. They've read it and passed it around, but it never gets to me. So I was never a reader, but I was always willing to be part of the kids that are always reading. And it's it's it was always like that. Every holiday they come with a lot of books and they circulate it amongst themselves, but it goes in a certain circle, it doesn't extend out for some of us that do not have an opportunity to travel abroad and get books. So that was the origin of having to have an idea of people reading. Yeah, that's the first thing. And the second aspect of me longing to you know read or willing to start the reading culture or habits was when I was much younger, again, um my dad would um, you know, you know, you know, in those days they give you a list of books to buy the books. Yes, yes, yes. So, yeah, my dad will buy all the books, A, B, C, even the one they say, or you buy or do you understand? So anytime is um, you know, we're going into news session, we have lots of books. But then, you know, we have all these books there, but there was nobody to supervise us. There was nobody to guide us and say, Are you reading it? Are you actually reading it? Even my dad that is buying the book, he's just buying because they said list the books. Yeah, it's not monitoring the books. Do you understand? It's not monitoring, it's not ensuring that we are actually reading the books. So over time, my cousins from maybe family from my mom's side or my dad's side, um, they are of less they have less privilege than most. So when it's all the day, when they are going, they come to our house to come and get our past books to read. Yeah, so I was always around books anyway. Always, always around books. But the culture and the habit of reading the books wasn't there. Despite the fact that I was always longing to do it, but yeah, as a kid, I didn't get that supervision. I never saw my parents read, my dad only read newspapers and all of that. But again, he reads newspapers, but what about the books is buying for us? Is it guiding us? Is it making sure we are reading it? Are we utilizing it or is just buying it? So that was the two, you know, my two background of books around me. Yes, so in 2024, everybody was setting, oh, my new year go, blah blah blah, and you go and all of that. And I started my dining and I said, Okay, everybody's having a new year. What do you want this year? And I heard the voice say, Why don't you start reading and see how you can sustain yourself? And this is something I said, hmm, reading as an adult, that would be hard. But then what did I do? For me, is when I hear a voice, or when I'm when I see when I've come to terms

The Moment Read With Doja Began

SPEAKER_04 9:06

with something, I hold on to it so well. Yes, because it means a lot to me, you know. I don't let my thought fly by. You know, once my thought comes, I sit on it, I dwell, you know, on it, I research and just think it back and forth before making any decision. So, because it rarely comes, but when it comes, it's very meaningful. So when that came, I just said to my husband, I said, the meaning, this thought has been coming to my head, but I don't know how I'm gonna go about it. And he said, Well, I don't know, I'm gonna help you, but whichever way you choose, I'll support you. And that was it. Wow. So that was the beginning of Read with Doja, and I said to myself, the only way I can be disciplined with this idea is to do it alongside other people. And this is me being an introvert. This is me not being, I'm not a reader, so you know what I'm talking about. So I needed somebody to also be an accountability partner alongside what I want to do. So I just picked up my phone, I checked on my phone, I picked up like two of my friends and said, This is what is coming to me. I want to start a reading club. Do you mind joining me? I said, Oh, sure, why not? They're not readers as well. So we just, you know, it's like the blind lady in the blind, you know, that kind of thing. And then and then we started. So we um we decided on a book to pick, and then we read it for one month, and then we rotated it amongst ourselves. So the first year we started, we went up to eight members. Wow, yeah, and we rotated it amongst ourselves. So, and that was how we built it for the dungeon. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 10:54

So, what you mean you rotate it? Is it that people take turns in facilitating the sessions?

SPEAKER_04 10:58

Well, people take turns to choose. So, if I choose a book this month, yes, for if I select a book this month, yes, because we are very, you know, we've we're not large numbered compared to what we have now, yeah. So the next month it could be somebody else, and and then and you would facilitate your book, you'll be the one to facilitate your book. So, again, apart from you ringing, it brings out the confidence of speaking, engaging, yeah, bringing people together and all of that. So, um, and that was how it started. We started in the winter in January, it was very cold, so we're doing an online wow.

SPEAKER_08 11:36

How many were you in the first session? We're eight, eight

The Real Benefits Of Reading

SPEAKER_08 11:40

of us. Wow, that is really good because the key benefit, I was researching the key benefit of reading. It said it helps to bring reduction in stress, reading as it's at as a stress reducer, and it enhance empathy as well, uh, which allows the reader to understand different perspectives and emotions of different people, so it kind of broaden their map of the world, and it helps to bring relaxation to the body as well, because it's transporting the readers into the word of other people as well, and it helps to bring cognitive benefits, which keeps the brain active and helps to prevent delay in cognitive decline, and also helps to improve sleep. I never knew that, but then again, I've realized that my little girl, when she's registered, oh, when I read, I easily fall asleep. So, yeah, now I can explain to her that when you read, it helps to improve your sleeping habits as well, and it can also help to manage insomnia, and also um the long-term effect is it helps to increase our lifespan. Do you know that? So these are some of the mental mental benefits of reading, and for what you're also doing, I can see is also bringing reducing isolation when you bring people together. That's right. So that would drive me to the next point, which is it helps to reduce the depression risk because when you read daily, it shows that individuals who read are more likely to report their feelings because now they are more in touch with their own self as well. That is so so interesting. So, with eight people, um, how many are you now in the reading club? I think we're about 74. 74. Wow, that is amazing. I know you just celebrated your second anniversary, and um, I was part of that. Thank you for the invitation. And there's something I want to ask you. Mentioned while you were talking that you are an introvert.

Introvert Energy And Leading Anyway

SPEAKER_04 13:36

Yes, I am and I'm still an introvert, honestly. I'm still an I'm still an introvert. The thing is, um, for me, when I when I'm into anything, put my heart, my mind, I devote everything to it. So I leave myself, I I separate myself from what I want to do. I separate my personality. Yes, I'm an introvert, but what you want to do, you need to be able to know that as an introvert, you have to put that aside and step into a space where you can be an extrovert. So I could now do both. So you are being yes, I could do both now. Whereas before I started the reading club, I've always been an introvert. Now I'm dealing with people that I have to share my life with, my experience with, that I'll have to empathize with, I'll have to manage. Do you understand? Yeah, so I've got to can't be an introvert and be able to move. If you are too quiet, it's the way you take your stuff. People will take it that way. If you energize, if you put a bit of energy in whatever it is that you are doing, you find out that the people that you are co- you know piloting with, they go along with the same flow.

SPEAKER_06 15:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:06

But if you're an if you're an introvert, it's just gonna be there's no energy flowing, yeah, and there won't be light. So I've got to leave that part of my personality when I need to pick it up, yes, and use another method when I'm dealing with the reading club. So I can I can pass for both now. When I'm in my place of privacy, yeah. When I'm when I'm when I'm in my place of privacy, I am me. But when I'm outside my place of privacy, I step into another, I wear another shape. Yeah, and that's the only way I've been able to manage myself with the two lives I'm living now.

SPEAKER_08 15:46

Yeah, okay. For someone out there right now that say I have a lot of goals, I have a lot of vision to start something, but I am too shy, I am too quiet, I am too laid back, I don't want to start because I'm gonna pull myself out there. I don't have the energy for it. He said it was a method. Would you be kind enough to share with us the method that you use? Because I've been in the same space with you, and I don't even catch a glimpse of you being an introvert. You've been able to really transition yourself to be able to float in board. Can you be kind enough to share with us how you were able to do that?

SPEAKER_04 16:27

I think for me, looking back, and for me, like I said, looking back and looking at where I'm coming from and where I'm now with the present state at which I am now, and looking forward to where I'm going is the energy for me. So if you want to start anything and you convince in yourself that this is the direction I want to go, it's not like you're trying to imitate somebody or copy somebody, it's not like your idea is not natural, it's not coming to you naturally, then there'll be a problem. But if your idea or your mission, despite the fact that other people are doing the same thing you're doing, never mind. But if it's coming to you on a natural state, like this is really coming to me, I've received this. Um, for that person, I'll just say you have to summon the courage of just going forward, regardless of what is going to happen, even if it fails. Don't worry. Every other person that I've done that have come before you or that been wanting to do something similar or something different. I've also been in that state of unsure. Yeah, you know, nobody's sure of anything. When I started, I wasn't sure of anything because I wasn't doing it for somebody. Yeah, you see, I wasn't doing it because of somebody. One, I was doing it for myself, yeah. In terms of I need to build myself, I need to grow myself, you know, and alongside somebody else is gonna benefit. So it wasn't like I'm looking at somebody, I'm looking at a certain picture, and I'm looking at this is how I want to do it. No, do it for yourself, the energy will flow, right? So for me, it starts with me, yes, before any other person, and that's how I've been able to achieve everything I've achieved up until now. Apart from the reading club, I am an entrepreneur and I've hung an event company in you know, which I don't I don't run anymore, anyway.

SPEAKER_06 18:45

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:46

But for those that know me in Manchester, they know when I used to do a T plus event, my event decorating business was really five-star. Because I wasn't doing it for somebody, I was doing it for myself. So anything I present, I'll ask myself if somebody gives me this, is this what I'm gonna take? Yeah, is this what I like? Is this the best for me? So if it's the best for me, then I can push my best out. Yeah, you get what I mean. So if you're gonna start anything, I'll have to advise that person, yeah, start with yourself. That's the first point. Yourself. If you're cooking, start with yourself. If I make this food, is this what I'm gonna eat? Is this what I would like to eat? Is this food delicious enough for me before I can serve somebody? If I test it and it doesn't sound good, then don't serve it. So for me, it's just starting with yourself. Wow, don't be afraid to start with yourself. Whatever you want to do, you you are in the game with yourself. Even if I didn't get people in the reading club, I am I started with myself, and then I was able to grow you know over time in it. So, yeah, start with yourself and the courage. The more you do it with yourself, when you see what you're doing, the energy will keep flowing, yeah, and the courage will be there to do more. Yeah, because when you produce anything with your hand and you can see the quality of what you're doing, you'll be proud of yourself to even do more. Absolutely. So just start start with yourself.

SPEAKER_08 20:35

Yeah, thank you, Georgia. What I hear you say there is that you have to be authentic, yeah, and settle it in your mind that this is the direction that you're going. And another thing that I hear you say there is excellence, even though I say whatsoever your hand trying to do, that you should do it well. So you're saying do it well to a great standard, that even you will be proud to have your name attached to you.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

Exactly, exactly. That's what I hear you say. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_08 21:07

So that regardless of your personality, if you are authentic, if you deliver with excellence and you are persistent and consistent, you will break through. It doesn't really matter, and even if it doesn't come out um the way you want it, it's still okay. At least you try to start. That's the most important thing. Thank you very much. Now, um I've I've done a lot of I've started a lot of things, and I know that it's not easy to go from eight to seventy-something members because at the end of the day, you are the vision bearer, so you see what other people do not see. Please tell us some of the challenges that you faced. Uh starting read with Doja and how you were able to navigate it.

Sponsor Message And Subscribe Prompt

SPEAKER_08 21:56

This episode is sponsored by ASAP Consultancy. A hope of personal transformation for the mind, body and soul. If you are ready to rise up and grow out, move away from depression, heal anxiety, break fruit from traumatic emotional pain, and live with confidence in order for you to gain clarity, for you to move from surviving to thriving. Why don't you visit our website www.aseconsultancy.com. We'll support you through counseling, life coaching, and other trauma recovery programs, grief courses, and we even offer one at a time therapy. All of these services is available virtually, so you do not even have any excuse of saying you do not want to leave your home. You have everything from the comfort of your home will support you to move from surviving to thriving. Before you go, have you subscribed yet? Like, share, and comment on what resonates with you so far on this episode. But if you have not done so, why don't you just click that button now? Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 23:05

Back to the program now.

Visibility And Awareness Challenges

SPEAKER_04 23:07

The challenges keep coming, but the more they come and I'm able to pull through, then I get more strength to do more. You get what I mean? Yes, you know, some challenges will come and I'll fail. And then I'll ask myself, oh, I shouldn't have done it that way. So challenges for me is a way to learn because I'm still in that process of growing, I'm still in that process of learning, I'm still a work in progress as well in the reading group, just like every other member. Yeah. So it comes, but when it comes, I just try to learn through it and see how we can get do things better. One one, I'll say one major challenge for me is creating the awareness.

SPEAKER_06 24:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:00

First of all, creating the because we know Africans, we don't we don't read. I knew you were gonna say that. We we never read. So creating that awareness was a big challenge. Remember, I said coming from somebody that is introverted, people know Doja, but because she's an introverted person, you can't really, she's not that popular, she she's popular. I won't say popular, she's a known face, right? But bringing toget people together would be difficult because she just in a world, you know what I mean? Yeah. So for somebody that is really into herself, now trying to create awareness, how do you think that would sound?

SPEAKER_08 24:50

It's a bit challenging, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

It was very, very, very challenging. But the only thing I held on to was I tell God, I said, God, if it were you that spoke with me in 2024 to start this thing, how I'm going to navigate myself through you go forward and I'll put my feet behind yours and that until date, that's the that's the model for me. Because if I tell you all the people that are in the reading club, I know them one-on-one, I'll like no it's either somebody's leading to somebody, somebody's saying you'll contact and and and and that how we got 73 or 74. I don't know how. But the only thing I tell God is put your feet forward and I'll put mine because I don't even know where I'm going. I don't even know where I'm going with this. So awareness was a big, big challenge, you know. You know, some people that are very eye par, you know, before you know it, and they're very techy, they go on in social media, blah blah blah blah blah. I'm not that kind of person, I'm not the social media person. I have not come to be doing social media, which is not me. My life is very discreet, and you will never find anything of me outside. But now I'm living in two separate worlds, so I have to not put myself out. Yeah, you know. If you go my business page, when I was doing see, when I was when I had the event company, you will never you'll find my work, but you never find my face. So I have a baking business as well. You will find my work, but you will never find my face. So I'm that kind of person that I don't I don't put myself out. So, how do I create the awareness when you don't want to put yourself out? Visibility will be hard. Yes. So awareness was a big, big challenge for me, you know. Well, like I said, the only thing I tell God, you know, I'm not that um, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to be loud, I'm not a loud person, I don't want to put myself out. Yeah, which you know that that's all I need for this reading club to grow. But if people see you as God, and you are the one that's giving me this vision, I didn't create it myself. Please put your feet forward and then I'll put mine where you put it on.

SPEAKER_08 27:15

That's a strong anchor, it's a very strong anchor. You know, when I say that faith, that faith is like, okay, it's not like carry me. No, you go first, and then I'm just going to follow you.

SPEAKER_04 27:29

Yeah, yeah. And and that's what I've been, and that's what I've been doing till date.

SPEAKER_06 27:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:34

Every day, that's what I tell God, God, I don't know where I'm going. You know, I don't even know what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_05 27:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:41

You know, I have to come to the level and telling God that you know I know nothing, I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. But please put your feet forward and I'll put my way you put your feet.

SPEAKER_08 27:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:54

And that has been my output so far.

SPEAKER_08 27:58

Wow, that's very, very interesting.

Managing Inconsistency With Care

SPEAKER_08 28:00

I like that. I like that you know, when God is your foundation, it makes it impossible to become possible for you. Um, how do you manage people that are very inconsistent? Because with someone like you, across all the T's and dots, all the I's, you work in excellence. We all know that not everybody can measure up to that standard. How do you manage that in a group of leading people? People that are not nonsense.

SPEAKER_04 28:27

I'll be honest, it will affect you mentally when you're trying to, you know, you know what you're doing is to benefit everybody, and you know, and you're really pulling it, and people aren't doing, you know, you expect by now people should be, you know, should be, you know, moving up, but you're not getting that vibes, it's hard, it affects mentally, it affects emotionally. But what I've done or what is working for me at the moment is sometimes when I get into that mode of being emotional about people not being consistent and all of that, I sit with myself. I just sit with myself and say, Okay, um you know you diff you know doja is not really doja. You know, I keep asking myself, uh you know doja is not read with doja, then I say answer yes, okay. So as doja, how can you help read with doja bring people in or encourage people? You know, yeah, so I'm not attaching any uh I'm not personalizing anything now. I have all I've separated myself by asking myself that question, and then I ask myself again, as a person of read with doja, how can you help your other mate to be consistent? One is by what reaching out, yeah. Even when you reach out, some will respond so but don't worry, it's by what reaching out, yeah, it's by what making sure you're making yourself visible, is by what leading by example, is by what showing you're really doing the work. Do you get it? Yeah, so I reach out to people that I know that I've not seen in a while in the reading club. Take my time to message them and say, We're having something next week of blah blah. Do you think you can make it so you know, and then aside that, I don't let it be, I don't wait on to when is reading time or read or an event time before reaching out. Try to message people outside and say, How are you? It's a long time. Do you get what I mean? Yeah, hope you're doing fine. Such that when I message you again to say we're having an event or book review, you know that I'm not just messaging you because of book review. You understand? You know, yeah, because I've separated myself completely from the reading club. I'm not acting in the place of I'm speaking to a friend, I'm speaking to a member that I haven't seen in a garden or in a community. First of all, you check up, check up on the person. How are you? How are you doing? You know, and then when you do that, maybe you you can give about another one week, or you know, then you message again. Oh, we have reading book review. Do you think you can make it? You know, they'll be ready to listen to you. But rather than you just maybe messaging them right about the time that you're having a reading club events, you know, people can tell me to be like, it's only when it's reading club she's messaging us. Do you understand? Do you know how you know how people can be? So I try to do that to some of the members that I haven't seen or be quiet. Try to message them outside and just hello, I'm just checking up on you, blah blah blah. And I leave you as that, just checking up before coming to book review. Wow. Yeah, so that that's one tool that I use. Then the other tool that I use is making sure what I'm preaching, I am practicing, and readers can re see it. So if I read, if I read any certain thing that you know, I know that this resonates with me or this is making sense, I show it by probably highlighting stuff and sharing it in the reading club. Yeah, and I prompt people, if you have not read this, please go and check it out. You know, so if I'm doing that, I'm leading by example, I'm being practical. You can see that I'm not just making the noise, I'm doing the work. Yes, and if I'm doing the work, I expect people to be doing the work. So even if you're not doing the work, and you know that Doja is always posting every morning because every morning, I'll say 80 80 to 90 percent of the time, between 7 to 8, unless sometimes maybe when I'm busy, I prompt people in the morning to go and read. It's and it has been like that for almost let's say 18 months. Wow. So wake up in the morning, I do a bit of write-up, and then I share with everybody in the morning. And beneath my write-up, don't forget to read 30 minutes today. So so even if you don't read the proper book, you will read that. Yeah, you read that, yeah. So I do that as well, yeah. I do that as well to wake everybody up, to wake you up, yeah. So that's another method that I use to you know bring people together, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 33:43

You are you are a good you are a good leader. I say that not just to your face, but I have observed as well. And one of my mentors once said, people don't care how much you know until you show how much you care about them. Even if you are a doctor, a PhD doctor, you are a professor, they don't care until you show them how much you care about them. So that's what you've just said in like in a nutshell. Like I will show to them that I don't just need you to read, I genuinely care about you. So how are you?

SPEAKER_04 34:21

Yeah, yeah, and I think that's very important. I've read that before in the book. What you just said now. I've read that before in the book, saying that people don't want to listen to you until when you they know you care so much about them. True, they don't they don't they don't want to listen to you, even if you're brilliant or you're rich, or or they want to know that you care about things that pertains to them. That's right, so yeah, and if you're doing that, they're ready to listen to you when you want to speak. Absolutely. I read that in a book, so and I think I adopted it, and I'm using it, I'm still learning through it, I'm still working, I'm still working progress. So if I've not messaged any of my members, I didn't I don't want them to come for me and say, Oh, you send me away, but those that genuinely knows that she's done that to me once or twice and asked how you're doing, or something like that they can testify that I don't, yeah, I don't, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 35:17

That is really good now.

Books That Spark Businesses And Mindset

SPEAKER_08 35:19

Being a reader, you guys must have read a lot of books now. And another thing that I notice is that your reading book is not just a reading book, you have become an igniter, and I will explain an igniter whereby your reading book is now betting businesses, and what I mean by your members are not having the audacity, having the confidence to bet their their their their business ideas, and it might have been inside of them, but now it's coming out, and you pull this hole from them like wow, okay, that's another one. I saw another one this thing that I've not seen before. I'm like, wow, this is not just a reading book, it's almost like you become a midwife. So please tell us how the day because I'm sure you must have noticed that how did that come out because the more you read, I know ideas will come, but how did that come out?

SPEAKER_04 36:20

Yeah, so for me, I'm an audacious person. Listen, yeah, I am an audacious person, so um, and for me, I'm this kind of person that is uh you know that addict that they say show me your friend, I'll tell you exactly what you want right, yeah. So, because this is me, I I like I like quality life, you see, and I like independent people. I've always been an entrepreneur as a child, as a child, not as an adult, as a child. So, and I like it when people are independent, they can do things by themselves, even if they don't get it wrong, even if they don't get it right. So, it so I'll say that my members' betting business is just a reflection of me. See, wow, so it's a reflection of me, is who is Dodger? So when you start mentioning Dodger, you start mentioning good and quality things around her. So anybody surrounding themselves with me, I expect them to be like that. I'm not trying to mold people from what they're not to me, but the thing is, if I'm riding a limousine, I expect my friend to be riding a limousine or something better. You see, yeah. So I'm that's the model. If my life is this, anybody surrounding me, I'm gonna have to re radiate my light. You don't have a choice.

SPEAKER_08 37:43

So you're handled a light order. You don't know it very well.

SPEAKER_04 37:47

Honestly, you don't have I don't even need to, I don't need to pressurize you. You see, yes, yes, I don't need to pressurize you. You coming around me. It's I take pride in that. I take pride in that, honestly. You being around me, so you have to bet something. You you have to bet, you have to discover yourself because one, I'm not going to be around people that are mediocres, you get what I mean? Because they'll bring me down, and that's not what I want to be around people that are better than me, yeah, so that I can also move up. Yeah, so if people are around me, I expect us to all put our energy together. I'll find people that are better than me that I want to be like, and people will find me better than them. That so we just it we just want to be helping each other, yeah. So betting business is is a reflection of of me.

SPEAKER_08 38:45

A reflection of me, yeah. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I see that. Is there a particular book that you guys read that that is that is that that that um how will I say that that kind of propel this this business that is yeah?

SPEAKER_04 39:02

Um okay, so I'll start from myself. So I think I mentioned that before. Anything that anything I'm gonna project to anybody, I start with myself first and use myself as an example. So I read the book um by Richard Branson.

SPEAKER_07 39:19

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:20

Before I even started the reading club, yeah. Um it's about losing my virginity, if I'm right. Right, yeah, but where Richard Branson bursts a lot of businesses. Wow. So, you know, that stood with me from that time that I read the book. Borrowed the book from the library, and I read one like, wow, if Richard could do this, anybody could do it, I can do it. I can do it. I don't want to limit myself to where I am now. Yeah, I can do it. So, because of that, I start to you know introduce a lot of things in the reading club, give people room to be them. Yeah, if you think you want to read a book on creativity and is your turn, bring it on board, we're gonna read it with you. Yeah, if you think you want to read a book on sales, bring it on board. That's why we're giving people room to make a choice, yeah. Yeah, so we have that structure of people making a choice of whatever book they want to read, bring bring it on. We read a book on creativity, yes, and I told my members we're reading a book on creativity, go back and think of come empty-handed when we are doing the book review. Go back and think of what you can create with your hand, and we put ourselves in groups and we created some something, and that bets quite a few businesses. Wow, what's the name of the book? Um, it's called um give me a second, let me find it.

SPEAKER_08 40:50

Right, while I'm waiting for that, so what what I'm what I'm hearing you say is that you don't just gather to read and and and talk to one another, you actually put into action what you have learned from the book. That is a different level, that is a different level because when you read a book, it gives you knowledge, when you apply the book, it gives you wisdom. Yes, so you guys are moving from one stage to another. Get a book, read together, share ideas with others, because once you are sharing in the group, all of you are able to even enrich your learning and expand your knowledge of that book. And after expanding your knowledge, you are not saying we finished reading the book, it's not the end. Now I want you to go away. We are going into application. How can we apply what it is that we have learned? Because this is very, very important. That is so good.

SPEAKER_04 41:49

Yeah, we do that a lot because it's not just reading, we are changing our mindsets. We're changing our minds, you know. Obviously, you know, a lot of people's stories, success stories, whatever is the writing in the books. Yes. So when we pick a book and we read it, we try to change our mindset towards it. I'll give you an example. We read a book um last year about the title of the book is Hunger. Roxanne, Roxanne Gay wrote the book. And this woman, she's a very large, big woman, fat woman, very big, you know. And that was uh, I think it's an autobiography free book of her, you know. So our mindset, we cried when we read the book, we cried because obviously, you know, anytime we see fat people, we'll be like, Why are you why what were you looking at? What made you this fat? You know, but in reading that book, that was mind-blowing for each and every one of us. Now we cried together when we're reviewing the book, so it wasn't just in a making to get fat, something led to that. So now when I see anybody fast, criticize them because you don't know the journey, yeah. You know, so yeah, we learn from each book we read, we try to practicalize it and use it to change our mindsets, you know, towards a lot of issues. And to be honest, the best thing that has ever happened to me is this reading club, to be honest. Wow, yeah, because again, personally, I'm also growing in it, yeah. I'm also developing, I'm also finding exactly who I am through reading, yeah. So I can't ask for more.

SPEAKER_08 43:30

Yeah, that is so beautiful, and I also want to use this opportunity to also thank you for because my book, Inner Harmony, Resilience Beyond Chronic Stress and Burnout, is one of the books that you've you've read in your reading book. I also want to thank you for that. So, for people out there, if you are looking for women that will ignite you, women that will that will help you to become a better version of yourself, improve your your your life. Learning include improve your your you know your capacity to have knowledge about different things help you to create a uh growth mindset and also begin to apply the knowledge that you are gathering not just storing it but also pouring out on others and applying it into different facets of your life then read with Doja

Rest, Boundaries, And Recharging

SPEAKER_08 44:20

is a place I would highly recommend because remember what she said she does not do mediocre so so you have to be ready to do the job because you are not going to join that club and remain the same never because you're so just remember the book yeah it's called Still Like an Artist still like an artist wow yeah I've not read that before I think I'll have to look for that yeah like an artist still like an artist so yeah that that opened us up into a lot of things that's creativity is just um is just copying again yeah but when you copy again copy it in your own unique way you see so never say somebody has done it then you can't make another goal copy it's good everything we're doing now somebody has done it before that's right go there that's right copy and model your own and and we did it and we did it well fantastic thank you so much doja you're welcome thank you very much i i i don't want to keep you for too long but before you go uh i just want to say thank you for being an igniter to women thank you for leading uh for leading a group that not only leading women there are men in your in your group and there are also children now a reading book for children as well now we are not going to say oh we're just telling the children to read they've seen mommy and daddy read and now they are also being ignited to also read as well so I just want to thank you for all that you're doing but before you go for a woman that wears so many hearts right mother a wife an entrepreneur a philanthropist a founder how do you manage to incorporate rest into your life that's it so I know my limits so know your limits when my body tells me it's time to rest regardless of what is happening around me I drop it and then I go on hibernation I'll just be mute so it's my resting period yeah and I don't take it for granted because obviously my brain is working 24 hours I've got to do that go do that you know I've got my baking business I've got you know the writing claw I've got my nine to five I've got my family I've got all of that so in the midst of all of that set time for rest which is priority yes set time to rest and when I'm getting to the peak I just leave everything and take time off it could be two days it could be depending on how I feel I go back and just get the rest and then come back and start again so what do you do when you're resting just being in my own world relaxing probably if I want to read I read if I want to sleep I sleep you know if I want to call a friend I call a friend but I don't do much of calling a friend or speaking when I'm resting now yeah when I when I'm resting it's my time I don't I don't really engage in calls yeah even if you message me I might not reply I'll reply when I want to I don't know it's just chilling relaxing and enjoying my life yeah yeah or just take myself out of the house so if I'm really at the very peak and I know that no my stress level can't stay in the house I take myself out of the house yeah completely out of my house to a different place and I could go for two days I could go for three days yeah and when I'm done I'll come back okay that's really good so find out because the thing is yeah the thing is if you are in the house yeah you think you're gonna get the rest no you know distractions and all of that will come you remember you need to do that and that but if you're out of your comfort if you're out of your zone you know that these two days is for me and nobody's gonna take it away from me you see so I take completely I go completely out of my house and then go for my rest and then I come back okay that's that's a good one that's a good one um for someone that says she's an introvert I know very well because I'm married to one I know very well that introverts when they have a lot of people around them it drains their energy while we that are the extroverts we need a lot of people not really a lot of people the people that we really genuinely know that they are for us we need them around us to boost we also dive on their energy to keep going right it's not like a validation but it's just like the energy has to be right around us and then it just kind of motivates us but for you you have now you have you have moved away from your natural habitat because to another zone to another zone how do you replenish because I I noticed that you had your birthday you I did not see Doja Doja will celebrate everybody I see your status like you're celebrating this you just I was like where is this woman I just okay maybe she traveled or something now I can now I can see is that introvert that came out to visit us let's go how do you how do you manage that how do you replenish your energy because we're knowing that that's your natural state you are doing it for for a vision for a purpose how do you replenish so how do I I so for me it's all about where I'm going do you understand where where what am I why am I doing what I'm doing that's the first thing so if I know why I'm doing what I'm doing and when I'm done I go back to who I am do you get what I mean yeah so when when it's time for me to do what I need to do in my hundred percent attention energy everything into it to make sure that this is the reason why I'm doing this and this is what I want to achieve and once that's done it's done case closed closed done put it somewhere and move to who I am so I don't mix that into my personal life or private life or anything no so when it's time to do this get it done move it close it chapter close that's it no more and then move to something else because when I start having mixed feelings this is da that in my face I get overwhelmed yeah I really get overwhelmed and when for me people don't know when I have a lot of people around me my natural self not my rigid doja self because that I have to have people around me my natural self when I have a lot of people around I get overwhelmed aha that's exactly what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_04 51:41

How do you manage that overwhelm that is exactly what I'm wanting for so it's why I ask myself why am I doing this so if I can know why I'm doing it I don't have to get overwhelmed because once that why finishes I can go back to my state so it's what is the why for me because I really get overwhelmed when I'm and that's why I don't I love parties sonia and love it when people are you know party you know how we do this party now from the place that I am we party hard and from Jebode we party hard you know now my parents do my parents are not socialites but we do parties in my house yeah but I get overwhelmed when I'm proud I get fed up I know I know in Treva they they they do that a lot I just want my space I just want my space I just want to be left alone but you can't do that when you're sharing your life with people yeah when it's time for me to share my life with people I ask myself why am I going there? Why am I sharing my life okay I'm sharing my life because of the reading club because I want to help myself because I want to help people people are growing from this people are betting businesses people's mental health is healing isolation is reducing community outreach you know I I put all the whys on the table yeah and if my whys are more than what I'm thinking about I just you know shut that introverted area of myself down at that moment and get on go and save and come back and pick it up again and and it's been working for me for some people it doesn't work yeah but it's been working for me I put my cards down on anything I want to do why am I doing it why what do I want to gain from doing this you know and if my reasons are cogent and they are positive and they are influencing and they are doing what they're meant to do yeah then I move towards it. I just embrace that moment I do what I need to do I deliver to the best of my ability and once it's done if you call me after a certain time I won't pick up yeah if you message me after a certain time I I can see your message and I would not reply not because I don't want to reply that chapter is closed it's for another day yeah you know so yeah so I'm not gonna mix it so you're recuperating yeah yeah even if you message me there's some certain time you message me but I will not reply and then I'll look at your message because that time is finished and I don't think I should be discussing that side anymore.

SPEAKER_08 54:33

We

Final Takeaways And Listener Prompt

SPEAKER_08 54:34

can pick it up another time but not that time that time you're asking me to reply you or call you is my me time yeah and nothing should interfere yeah wow anyway thank you so much because um I know it takes a lot for someone to step out of their natural way and I love that part where you talk about the vision the purpose know your why for anybody out there that is listening to this know your why your why will help you keep your eyes on the ball will keep you focused it will energize you it will motivate you and take you all the um procrastination and if you have to use your support system around you please use your support system I see the way Doja use our support system so excellently you know it helps a lot don't let energy stop you we only have one life and let's live it to the fullest with no regret at the end I just want to thank you once again thank you so much for having me you're welcome we've come to the end of today's podcast I hope you've enjoyed it I want you to write in the comment section anybody that is listening write in the comment session what's do that for you what is that idea you're going to bet as a result of your listening to this podcast with Ruiz Riddoja I'm gonna add your details as well if you want to join on how to join and then I'll put the details there so you can um explore the options of joining as well until I come your way again I remain your host Abia Sonia thank you so much and um goodbye and God bless