Bella Grayce Podcast
Welcome to The Bella Grayce Podcast, your go-to source for transformative life coaching and recovery insights. Hosted by Teresa Mitchell, a professional coach and certified addiction recovery specialist, this podcast is designed to help you take control of your life—mind, body, and soul.
Whether you're grappling with finding balance, battling unhealthy coping mechanisms, or seeking to uncover the root causes that hold you back, The Bella Grayce Podcast offers personal stories, actionable tips, and expert advice to guide you on your journey to a fulfilled life. Tune in for honest conversations, practical strategies, and the support you need to unlock your full potential.
Bella Grayce Podcast
3-19 Managing Daily Stress, Anger, and Anxieties
Can unaddressed childhood trauma be the root cause of your adult anger issues? Join us on the Bella Grace podcast this week as we unravel the complex connections between childhood experiences and adult emotional health. Through personal anecdotes and heartfelt discussions, we explore how suppressed emotions can act like a pressure cooker, building up until they finally explode in unhealthy ways. Learn why recognizing these emotional triggers is crucial for both preventing harm and promoting healthier emotional management.
As a preschool teacher, I’ve had the opportunity to develop techniques that not only help children cope with their emotions but also aid in my own emotional regulation. We dive into effective strategies for teaching kids how to identify and express their feelings constructively, which can be as simple as using a boxing bag or throwing a soft toy. These methods highlight the importance of self-awareness, self-regulation, and understanding the physical signs of anger—like heat in the chest and tension—to prevent emotional outbursts.
The mind-body connection plays a significant role in managing stress and anxiety, especially for those working from home. We discuss practical self-care techniques, such as journaling and breathing exercises, and the importance of taking short breaks to reset. Simple actions like stepping away from your computer for ten minutes can significantly reduce big emotions. Our episode emphasizes the value of kindness and self-care, reminding you to prioritize mental well-being and find joy in everyday moments.
#EmotionalWellbeing #AngerManagement #MentalHealthAwareness #ChildhoodTrauma #EmotionalHealing #SelfCare #StressRelief #MindBodyConnection #CopingMechanisms #BoxingTherapy #HealthyOutlets #EndorphinRelease #MindfulAwareness #EmotionalBalance #Journaling #SelfHarmAwareness #WellnessJourney #DeepBreathing #StressManagement #HealingTrauma #AngerIssues #PersonalGrowth #TherapeuticHobbies #WorkLifeBalance #BellaGracePodcast
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Okay, hello, and welcome to another episode of the Bella Grace podcast, where we are helping you transform your life mind, body and soul. Whether you are struggling to find balance, using unhealthy behaviors or substances to cope, or you just want to unlock the root cause of what's holding you back from living your best life, bella grace coaching can help you transform your life mind, body and soul and this week we're doing that by talking about anger management yes, anger, stress and anxiety management, oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:All the things, all the things not all the things yeah yeah, so okay let's do it if you can learn to manage your anxiety, your anger, your anger and your stress level. And I'm not talking about like clinical anxiety. I'm talking about day-to-day, like just anxieties that we have as humans. Right, because clinical anxiety is a major thing if you need medication for that, there's no shame in it but I'm talking about like the daily, day-to-day anxieties that we all experience. So, yeah, so, and this could help someone who has an anxiety disorder. You never know.
Speaker 2:But so, or someone who just walks around with a big bag of anger.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So you shared with me right before we started recording that you used to have anger issues, mm-hmm. I did so explain, I did, I did.
Speaker 2:So explain.
Speaker 1:I did.
Speaker 2:I used to have anger issues for several reasons. Part of it was because of my childhood trauma and all the things that were out of my control and I just held in a lot of emotions that I shouldn't have. I just held in a lot of emotions that I shouldn't have and then it builds up and they can just manifest in your life in many ways. Yeah, but yeah, I used to have such bad anger years ago and where I would wouldn't talk about my feelings, or should I say I didn't know how to express my feelings in a healthy way or talk about or communicate with about my feelings in a positive way, yeah, and communicate what my needs were as well, yeah, so I would just suppress and suppress, and suppress and suppress. And also because I couldn't deliver my message to individuals around me, because they would get defensive if I brought something up or I was constantly shut down and and told to not speak or, and all of that can just cost a lot of emotions to where they turn into anger.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I know your story and I I know that, like, when you did speak out about how you were feeling about certain situations, you were told that you were being dramatic. You were told that you were too sensitive. Oh, that's just how Rosie is, like all those things, and so, as people do that, like you were trying to communicate, I don't feel comfortable in this situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah like I don't like this or I don't feel safe, yeah, or I'm not okay with this. And people around me constantly kept labeling me to the point where it made me so angry because I knew I was feeling a certain way. But I know, knew that that wasn't who I was, but certain things would trigger that.
Speaker 1:You weren't the person that they were saying, that you were you were simply trying to express your emotions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so, so for a very long time I just carry a lot of anger and emotions inside of me and I would just suppress them until I would blow up yeah, on people or situations, certain things, and that was horrible and I hated it Because after that would happen, I was strained, yeah, I would get headaches.
Speaker 1:Did you feel any like? What did you feel after that?
Speaker 2:I felt shamed and embarrassment. I felt. I just felt like like Icky Like dirty, like yeah Like it's just an uncomfortable situation, especially when you blow up to people that had nothing to do with it, but they just trigger something and it's just like it was bad. It was just like I wanted to dig a hole in, like go in there and like cut my face, yeah yeah, because you're like a pressure cooker, right, so like an instapot.
Speaker 1:I know everybody has instapots these days, but the instapot, like you, put the ingredients in you add the water you put the lid on and you turn the sealer to to seal, right, like they're sealing and they're steaming settings. So you put it to seal and so you've put in all these emotions, you've put in all these experiences, and you've turned off the steam button so nothing can get out, yeah, and the temperature rises and rises, and rises, and rises, and there's this pressure building right and that's what cooks our food but when it's an emotional pressure, it just builds, and builds, and builds until the pressure gets so much that your steam seal button releases and you just go and all that pressure gets released and for.
Speaker 2:For you, it came out in anger. Yeah, in a negative way.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So, and most of the time I would break things. I would. I'm a breaker. Yeah, I would break things. Like if I was in the kitchen and something made me so mad, I would just.
Speaker 1:And throw a plate.
Speaker 2:yeah, okay, yeah so it would just I would express myself that way, and I didn't like it, but afterwards it felt good. Yeah, because you were leaving.
Speaker 1:But it wasn't a complete no, it was that like and then the shame came in. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I it's like I broke something, but I felt like I could have broken it a better way. Or just it was like that wasn't good enough. No it wasn't. It wasn't. It's like I didn't let it all the way out, Like I just no, you know what it was. What.
Speaker 1:Okay, just no, you know what it was like.
Speaker 2:okay, so just like a heroin junkie or any addict guys, I don't like why teresa does this to me, why she did it okay, any addict, and I knew it's the word heroin junkie.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, that's probably offensive, but um it's just traditional word, whatever um but when an addict gets that first high and it is the best thing in the world. They're like oh my gosh, that felt so good I want to do it again.
Speaker 1:And next time they do it the rush isn't as good, so they do more, right? They're like, okay, well, then I need more to achieve that initial rush, like it must be that I didn't do enough, and so then they do more. And then the next time they're like okay, well, I almost got there last time. It's not near as good as that very first time, so I'm going to do a little bit more. And it's the same thing. Your brain that initial rush of having broken the plate was so quick, but it was so good and so relieving that your mind is like I need to do it better next time, or I need to break another plate because I need that rush again Until I don't have it anymore.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, I could have gone through like a set of like a hundred plates and I would have felt good, maybe I would have stopped at 50, but it was just like, but you wouldn't have because it's the same feeling you think.
Speaker 1:So yeah, you wouldn't have felt any better. Your brain would have been telling you break another plate, break another plate.
Speaker 2:Break another plate. You're going to feel better.
Speaker 1:You're going gonna feel better but you wouldn't have, and that shame and guilt would have creeped in I'm gonna need that plate later to eat yeah so yeah it's chemical it's. It's like that's crazy because the and it's the same thing with like self-harm right, like the self-harm releases. It's a release, but what they're feeling is the rush of endorphins from the pain of the cut, and so it's an immediate.
Speaker 1:And when you get that rush of endorphins it's almost euphoric, like there is some pleasure in it because it's your body's way of like relieving you from the pain that you were feeling. But your body naturally wants more wow, and so that's why self-harm is so hard to stop is because there's that pain release craving, and then there may also be the shame and guilt. You know that that's what keeps us wanting to stop, but it's that pain released craving cycle that keeps us doing it. Wow, yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, that makes sense, but well, so, anyway, that was I digress. Yeah, so so I knew that the reason why I was doing is because I was so angry and there was just so much buildup and I knew I wasn't expressing it the right way and I was like, well, there has to be another way. I was like man, I can't be doing this, like I can't be behind plates all the time because I break them Like I can know. But at the same time it's like, okay, well, that anger was coming from somewhere, that there was still an open wound that needed healing, that needed disinfecting.
Speaker 1:There's a root, yeah, that needed to be dug out yeah, so we talked about gardening last week and getting to the root cause. In case you missed it, go back and listen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, grab a machete and start like whacking away from branches. Yeah, yeah, but no, but I knew that's what it was, but I couldn't, I, I couldn't help myself. I just knew that I had a problem and it wasn't a healthy one. Yeah, so, um, and I just had like these bursts of anger, and it all had to do, obviously, with the unhealed parts of me. So when I finally did something about it and I didn't know, this helped me till it was no longer there. But I was telling you that you know I and a lot of people know this that now I go to the gym, but I didn't always go to the gym. I did work out, but it wasn't like I now yeah but now it's it's.
Speaker 2:I joined the gym and I realized that whenever I was stressed or had anxiety or anger, that's where I mostly just took it out, like if I had other things that I couldn't. The gym can't solve everything yeah, at least not for me, like I've known that now, but it's just when I feel so angry or I'm stressed or something's going on, I just like push it, press it, yeah, but I take it out in a different kind of way. I'm getting it out Like it's not in there, yeah, hurting me, bottling up to where I'm just going to explode. And I just realized that I was like wow, like I don't have anger issues like I used to, and that's because when you work out, your muscles apparently release certain toxins. Yeah, when you work out, your muscles apparently release certain toxins that heal your nerve system, heals your overall body, and it's amazing. And I was like whoa, so I just that's what helps me with my anger. Yeah, but I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it is. There's scientific proof, but it is so. When my stepson died and my daughter was grieving, that was one of the things that I told her, because one of the stages of grief is anger, like you're allowed to be angry but you can't hold the anger inside. It needs to come out and it can't it. It should not be in an unhealthy way like blowing up at us is not okay.
Speaker 1:Blowing up at your friends is not okay. Self-harm is not okay. Like we need to find a healthy way to get the anger out. So that's why we have that boxing the bag out there the boxing bag?
Speaker 2:I was wondering about that. You know I have boxing gloves also at home.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's why we have it. We have boxing gloves and the bag, but I don't use them. Because when she was grieving she would come out here and she would punch the bag. And it felt good and it helped her yeah, and then, um, we also got her like a bad a basket full of like soft toys, soft balls and animals and stuff that she could throw at the wall and I was like I don't care how hard you throw them, throw them at the wall and get some of that anger out.
Speaker 1:You've got to get the anger out Like you have to work it out of your body, yeah.
Speaker 2:But it's also good to talk about it, Get to the root of it and say, okay. First acknowledge and say, okay, I'm angry. Or I can feel myself getting angry right now. What's triggering this anger? Or like, okay, I need to sit down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but also knowing that that's what you're feeling, because I always tell people like you ask someone, how are?
Speaker 2:you doing.
Speaker 1:We kind of talked about this with Joe on the men's mental health podcast like um, yeah, and he said, oh, I'm doing fine, or oh, I'm tired or oh, I'm just really busy. But digging down into that, because a lot of people don't know what they're feeling. They know that they are upset or they know that they're mad, but they don't know why, and they don't know what. So actually being able to name your feelings, but even deeper than that, is being able to recognize when the feelings are coming on. Okay, let's stop right there.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I am a preschool teacher and we talk about feelings and emotions and all the stuff. We deal with a lot of tantrums, we deal with a lot of anger outbursts and feelings and everything, and that's emotionally, physically, mentally overwhelming all the time.
Speaker 2:So one thing that I've learned when one of my students, I can sense that they're getting angry or irritated or big feelings are coming out, I tell them hey, I can see that you're angry right now. I can see that you're angry right now. I can see that you're getting irritated. Is it because this person took this toy away from you or is it because you're not getting your way? And then they stop and think about why they're angry. They're like well, oh, it's because they took my toy away. Oh, I'm sorry they took your toy away. Okay, um, how about we play with a different kind of toy? And if they're like, no, but I want that one, okay, I understand you want that one.
Speaker 2:So it's like we have to, as teachers or as parents or person who's working with children, you know that you have to try to help them resolve or self-regulate that emotion and come up with the solution. But it helps the student also to realize and think and stop and think about their feelings. And I feel like that training actually helped me also because I was able to stop and say, oh, I'm getting angry right now. What is making me angry right now? Okay, I need to stop, take a breather, like I need to walk out right now because I can sense that I'm getting stressed or irritated, okay, and I would just distract myself or just calm down, because I know that if I don't, I'm just gonna end up like doing some damage on people who have nothing to do and it's not yeah, and it's not others people's responsibility to help you with your emotions.
Speaker 2:It is your own, yeah, because they're your emotions, you're the only one feeling them.
Speaker 2:No one else is out there, and if something is triggering you and you know that's not a good thing because it's gonna leave you shame yeah, and guilt and yeah, then you need to stop and think okay, I need to take a few breaths, yeah, remove myself from the situation, because it's not gonna be good for me and them yeah, so what does anger feel like in your body? It can feel like I'll start warming up. Yeah, heat, heat, I can sense a rush. Oh, in here In your chest. Oh yeah, my son got me mad a few days ago.
Speaker 2:And I just I felt the instant rush, rush, and I never thought about it or felt it until that day. You didn't realize no, I didn't, I was just angry. But that date, for some reason, it's like the good lord just stopped me and made me realize certain things. And it came within here and I it's from your heart, because that's where you feel all the feelings. And I started feeling something here, warm all over, in a rush of blood everywhere, and I can feel it on my face and my whole body.
Speaker 2:And I was just your ears get hot.
Speaker 1:My ears get hot.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, and it's.
Speaker 1:and I was like oh, yeah, and my teeth were like yeah, so you feel the tension. Yeah, and my teeth were like yeah, so you feel the tension. Yeah, you feel the heat in your chest first, and I want to break it down because a lot of people don't know how to identify your feelings. And you even said that it wasn't until this past week that you like realized it.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I get angry, but I didn't realize how intense yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah it. There is a physical manifestation of your feelings before you have a mental realization that you are feeling them.
Speaker 2:So it is important to know the feelings in't realize it before is because when you're hot headed or you're just short-tempered or there's certain things that you just they trigger you that anger, it comes up really easy. Boom, yeah, but this was a slow one where it's just like I, I don't know what happened. All I can tell you is that I was able to feel it like coming on. Yeah, and I never experienced that before Before. It was just like oh, I'm angry, like real quick. No, this one was like, it was like a little flame and I felt every fiber of my being like and I was like like wow, that's amazing how you can. If you're thinking or your center and focus on what you're feeling, you can sense where it's coming from and why, and it's like you can experience it and then just like wow, and you don't have to express it, even though you're feeling it. You don't have to shout, you don't have to stump, you don't have to like, bite, your, your like, or husband's head off, yeah, or whatever it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I was just like whoa and I was like, oh my God, I was angry and I felt it and I took a deep breath when I felt that and I stopped and I actually, I think after that I just started laughing.
Speaker 1:So you are having Because it's such an intense feeling it's crazy? No, so what you are experiencing is an awareness, because oh well, that's sad, sad I'm finally having an awakening, because we spend so much time talking about this stuff right like you are. Your mind is finally awakened to the fact that there is a mind body connection. You may have always been aware of it, like you've always probably like thought about it, but over the time that we've been doing this podcast together, I have exposed you to everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm her guinea pig, yeah. Like for things that make you aware of how the mind works.
Speaker 1:You taught me yeah, you definitely taught me a lot Like, yeah, like different things that make you aware of how the mind works.
Speaker 2:You taught me yeah, you definitely taught me a lot. A lot of it is part of my experience that I learned from, but you also have been teaching me a lot on how your mind, body works, and I think that's amazing, because I caught myself in that and before I would just felt it, it just would have happened.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, you just would have been angry. Yeah, and that's what I'm saying is like now, now, somewhere in your brain, your brain.
Speaker 2:And we just parents, get angry all the time at our kids or everything, anything like traffic or yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, you get set off by any little thing. Now your brain is aware of the mind body connection, so little things like that.
Speaker 1:When you start to feel things in your body, your brain is like hey, rosie, hey, hey, hey, stop, stop, stop, let's think about this. And that's why it was a slow come on is because your brain is now aware and it's like okay, we're going to, we're going to actually think about this, we're actually going to, like, analyze what's going on here. But until you have that awakening, that awareness that there is a mind body connection, you can't stop yourself. You can't have it be a slow come on, because then it is a rush, it's, before you know it, the anger has hit and then it's over. But once you start to be aware of the fact that there is a mind body connection, then you can. Your mind is like hey, hey, hey, we're getting mad, we're getting mad, we're getting mad. And you can slow it down and start to say, okay, I feel my chest warming up, I feel the tension, my jaw has tightened, my ears have okay. So what happens is you have a physical manifestation of the feeling. Then there is a realization in your brain that the feeling is happening. But the next step is then an action on the feeling. But the time that it takes for you to have the body experience have the realization? You don't, until you are aware that that is happening. You don't have time to catch it before you have the action happen. So it is so quick that you don't even have time to realize that you are having a reaction to the emotion. Like it happens so fast that your, your body heats up, you get the tension, your jaw clenches and you act.
Speaker 1:But once your brain has been turned on to the fact that there is this mind-body reaction connection, then your mind is able to slow it down and alert your brain to say I feel the body reaction happening, so I need to start slowing it down happening. So I need to start slowing it down and changing my distracting myself. I need to go do a breathing exercise, I need to do whatever it is so that you get off the path before the reaction happens. So you start to recognize the feelings. Okay, my chest is tightening, I need to go walk away before I react. Do you see what I mean? Like there's this, but it doesn't happen.
Speaker 1:And I always ask people. I'm like okay, so how does it feel when you get angry? And then how do you react? Because if you can interrupt that. It's how you feel and then how you react. How you feel and then how you react, how you feel physically and then how you react. If you can interrupt that, then you won't react. You, you may, but you at least you I'm so good at like not reacting to my anger.
Speaker 2:Like I said, I think it's because I express it in a healthier way. Yeah, but that was the first time in a while where I was just like triggered and that's when I felt it. But oh man, like I can recall so many times where I wouldn't deal with it in a healthy way and it just made me look like I was crazy when I wasn't. It was just like that emotion that I was having trouble expressing it in a positive way. Yeah, and anger doesn't always have to be a negative thing. Sometimes anger is there to teach you things and show you, like, what works and what isn't and what is taking your peace away.
Speaker 1:Anger is a good excuse me. Anger is a good indicator that a boundary needs to be set.
Speaker 2:Yes, that something isn't okay, that something doesn't feel right. Thater is a good indicator that a boundary needs to be set. Yes, that something isn't okay, that something doesn't feel right, that something is hurting you, causing you anger.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So all right, we talked about the gym being a way to manage anger, but it can be a way to manage stress, anxiety, any emotion yeah, that is overwhelming depression. Depression yeah, like any emotion that is overwhelming you. The gym is a great resource. Uh, I always suggest breathing exercises with my clients. I do it myself, like whenever I can.
Speaker 2:And why do you suggest to breathing exercises?
Speaker 1:So breathing naturally lowers your heart rate. Right, if you can do box breathing, you can do yeah, there's all kinds of like different different breathing exercises out there. The military does one so to help like soldiers fall asleep fast. Different breathing exercises out there, the military does one To help, like soldiers, fall asleep fast and I think it's like a seven, six, five, four, three, two, one breathing exercise or something I can never remember. But either way, the idea is to slow your heart rate down because, you said the anger starts in your chest right and it's this heat.
Speaker 1:Well, what's creating the heat is a raised heart rate.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because it makes your body think that you are in fight or flight mode. It makes your body think that you are about to fight, so it starts to increase your heart rate, like it starts to turn on your rush yeah so the idea with breathing exercises is to bring the heart rate back down yeah and so I like, sent oxygen to your lungs and your brain, to where it's your calmer and you can think clearly.
Speaker 1:You're self-regulating your emotions yeah, because whenever you're in fight or flight mode it activates like the archaic part of our brain. So we literally all we can think of is fight, flight or freeze, like. So you need like flood your brain with oxygen to reactivate your brain, like wake it up so that you can make a sound decision. And so I love breathing exercises, box breathing. It's in for four, hold it for four, out for four, hold it, and then you repeat it four times.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah we have those same breathing exercises for the children, because it helps them to calm down and for them to also stop crying and use your words. Yeah.
Speaker 1:It brings some peace back to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, some peace back to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, I always say that, like you first give yourself permission to feel the feeling, whether it's being anxious about a meeting, or fearful or sad, or happy or excited like, yes, it's okay to feel those feelings, you are allowed to have those feelings, yeah, and you have valid reasons and you need to feel the feelings If you're angry. You need to feel angry, but the idea is to express them in a healthy way or to calm yourself enough so that you can express those feelings verbally and get them out express those feelings verbally and get them out.
Speaker 2:Remember that when we were talking about hoarding, where I told you, the girl said something so important and it stuck with me. She said feelings come up because they need to get out. Yep, yeah, because if you store them in, they cause anger issues, they cause depression, they cause a lot of health issues as well yeah, yeah, anxiety, substance use, like.
Speaker 1:The list goes on and on on and on emotions are there for a reason. They're there to keep us safe, they're there to bring us joy, but they don't have to control you, no, and you can use things like working out breathing exercises.
Speaker 2:Journaling, journaling, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had a friend that was like I don't want to journal because I'm afraid of all the emotions that are going to come up. But it is a good thing?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is. It helped me a lot, like when I was younger, in high school, and I used to journal. I still journal, just not as often, and I'm also scared someone's going to find it and like you know, yeah, but it does help, because then you're like what happened, I don't know. But then you can look and say, oh, I'm angry, yeah, I got angry. Let's say I was in the kitchen, I was cooking, and I started getting angry because my eggs got burnt. Yeah, and then you can say I know if I would have been more the kitchen, I was cooking and I was, I started getting angry because my eggs got burnt yeah and then you can say I know, if I would have been more careful and been more focused on my eggs, they wouldn't have gotten burnt next time.
Speaker 2:And it helps you to, like, process your feelings and come up with a better strategy on how you can come up with a solution. Actually, yeah, yeah, yeah, no for sure, yeah.
Speaker 1:So journaling can be therapeutic. It can be a little scary. I always tell people like, yes, journaling is great, but you need to do it in a safe place and have your safe person on speed dial Because if it does get to be too much like, you want to make sure that you have someone that you can reach out to that you can say hey, I was journaling, it brought this stuff up and I'm not okay. Can you come over, or can we go grab coffee, or can you call me so that you can try to process it, because you never want to get into a dark space and be there alone.
Speaker 2:Where you get stuck and you go down the rabbit hole and you don't know how to.
Speaker 1:How to get out. Yeah, yeah, so it is. Journaling is very therapeutic, but just do it with caution you know like be careful with it. Yeah, because it can be very, very overwhelming. I also like if stress at work is a lot like going for a walk helps when I was in the office when I would get really emotionally overwhelmed.
Speaker 1:I would just go walk around the building, like go walk around the floors or go outside and walk around the outside of the building. Yes, you look crazy, people are going to look at you like you're nuts. But oh well, like I used to go for a walk, I would walk a mile on my 15 minute break and it was literally like I had mapped it out and it was around the entire campus of our complex, like the city complex, and so I would get out and I would take my 15 minute break and I was really diligent about taking a 15 minute break in the morning and a 15 minute break in the evening or in the afternoon. And on my 15 minute break I would go outside and I would set a timer and I would walk for 15 minutes. It was usually about a mile, and so I would walk two miles a day during the day and on my lunch break I would eat for 30 minutes and then I would nap because I'm a napper and I need a nap to feel good.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, so I would eat my lunch and then I would tell my staff cause we all took lunch in the office, Like we locked the doors and like, but we all three sat at our desk. So I I had a nap station under my desk and I would pull out my pillow and my blanket and I would crawl under my desk and I would fall asleep.
Speaker 2:So you're like a little a preschooler.
Speaker 1:I had that time. I love that. Yeah, I know it's what I needed to do to maintain my sanity and it worked like I found a a thing that worked for me, and it was walking and napping in the middle of the day. Yeah, and I didn't always fall asleep during my nap time, but at least like I would crawl under my desk where I was totally alone. And even if I just popped on some relaxing music in my earbuds and just laid there and listened to music, that was sufficient enough. The idea was to relax for some time in the middle of the workday.
Speaker 2:Have you seen those memes where they're like sorry, I just needed a break, I just needed to eat. I was just, I was hangry. Yeah, because, yeah, because I needed to eat or I needed to nap, yeah.
Speaker 1:Sorry about that. Yeah, and it's not myself. I needed to eat or I needed to nap. Yeah, sorry about that. Yeah, and it's not myself when I'm hungry or sleepy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I realized I suffer from that condition as well. I need food and I need to sleep, just like toddlers. And I realized that a lot of people just over underestimate, yeah, children, because we're all children, just an adult body and. But we express it differently and they throw tantrums, they cry, they throw things, they hit each other, they bite, they kick. And I realize we're the same way and a lot of us are better at expressing it, self-regulating our emotions, and some of us don't, because we were never taught from a young age how to self-regulate our emotions, how to feel them and know that it's okay, and to have someone else help us through that. Walk till we're okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's just really how it is. We're all.
Speaker 1:just we're all toddlers walking around with scalpels and stethoscopes. It's my favorite line from Grey's Anatomy.
Speaker 2:I haven't watched Grey's Anatomy. I love Grey's Anatomy but yeah, you learn so much.
Speaker 1:He was like you're all a bunch of toddlers with scalpels. It's a patient, they're fighting over him. And then, like later, meredith is like yeah, we're just all toddlers walking around with scalpels and stethoscopes.
Speaker 2:You're right Taking blood samples, urine samples and giving you just drugs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yep, but it is important to have some tools that you can use to help you deal with your emotions, deal with the stress of work, so that you're not coming home and drowning your stress in a bottle of wine or smoking your life away or whatever it is or just being miserable all the time. It is important to use things to help diffuse your emotions, diffuse the situation, so that you're not left feeling shameful and full of guilt. And you said exercise, I said breathing exercises, journaling, walking, getting outside, journaling, walking, getting outside.
Speaker 2:Having a hobby is another good way to deal with stress and anxiety. Yeah, a healthy hobby that makes you happy, where you're feeding more of your good feeling and not that expressing your horrible feelings like sad and anger it's bad. No, because those are still good emotions that teach you valuable things, and but I mean it can always be perceived as a bad thing. I think society always thinks of it as a bad thing, but anger is actually your friend.
Speaker 2:It can teach you anxiety too, even stress like they're all there for a reason, yeah so you just have to learn to define where it's coming from, how to to get to the root of it and what, find a solution, or how can we? This helps us like just grow yeah, yeah and one.
Speaker 1:And then the last one that I touched on was quiet time. I did quiet time under my desk and usually it ended up napping. But you can do quiet time in your car before you get out of your car, when you get home from work. Take five minutes in the garage or in the driveway and just breathe and prepare yourself for going in and interacting with your family. Or take five to 10 minutes and just lay in your bed with the lights off in your bedroom. If you work from home, it can look like turning off the computer or logging out for 10 minutes and going and sitting on the couch and just sitting. Maybe you listen to calming music or maybe you go lay in your bed for 10 minutes, whatever it is. But getting some quiet to turn your mind off, yeah, can help to lower the anxiety and the stress and the big emotions that you're feeling that's good sure yeah all right, got anything, else, no just yeah, don't go around punching people.
Speaker 2:yeah, don't go around punching people. Yeah, don't go around punching people.
Speaker 1:It's not healthy, that's not going to take you far, yeah, so until next week, guys, be well, be kind, and may you find some joy this week. Bye, bye.
