The Confidence Reset – Walking in Confidence After Burnout

Burnout doesn’t just leave you tired—it can leave you questioning everything about yourself. In this episode, we explore how to rebuild real, grounded confidence after a season of exhaustion, doubt, and survival mode.

I’ll guide you through:
Why burnout drains self-trust
How to quiet your inner critic
Reclaiming your strengths (without overcompensating)
How to walk in quiet, grace-filled confidence

You don’t need to prove your worth. You just need to remember who you are.
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Chapters

• 0:05 Welcome: Confidence After Burnout
• 3:26 The Inner Critic Gets Louder
• 5:34 Confidence as Self-Trust in Action
• 10:07 Rebuilding Self-Trust After Burnout
• 19:49 Owning Strengths Without Overcompensating
• 23:39 Walking in Grounded Confidence
• 29:21 Closing: Choose Grace Over Grind

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Hi and welcome to another episode of the Bella Grace podcast. I'm Teresa Mitchell, your freedom mindset and recovery coach, and today we're talking about something that many high achievers struggle with, especially after a season of burnout, and that's confidence. Not the fake it till you make it kind of confidence. Not the loud, performative, overcompensating kind of confidence, but the quiet, grounded confidence that comes from self-trust, even when you're still in the process of still healing, still figuring things out. If burnout has made you question everything your decisions, your strengths, your worth then this episode is for you. Burnout doesn't just drain our energy, it drains our confidence. Burnout isn't just physical exhaustion, it's emotional depletion, it's mental brain fog, it is identity confusion. When you've been in survival mode for too long, you start to see yourself through a lens that is distorted. You start to say things to yourself like I can't handle anything, I'm not as strong as I used to be, I'm failing. But these aren't the truth. These thoughts are not the truth. They're the result of a mind and a body that has been pushed past its limits. You don't need to rebuild from scratch. You just need to remember who you are beneath the burnout. So that's what we're going to be doing today. We're going to talk all about the inner critic, what to do when it gets louder confidence being self-trust in action. We're also going to talk about owning your strengths without overcompensating. And then we're going to talk about walking in groundedness, grace-filled confidence. So stick around, you're not going to want to miss this one.

Speaker 1: 2:17

When I was drowning in burnout, I was constantly feeling like I wasn't enough. I felt like I wasn't as strong as I used to be. I felt like I was failing at everything. Nothing felt like it was going right. I started to question whether or not I belonged in the positions that I had. I changed my major. I did all kinds of things because I did not have my confidence anymore. I didn't believe that my voice mattered. I didn't believe that people needed to hear what I had to say, and that was all because of burnout stealing my confidence. So if you've been feeling things like I can't handle anything anymore, I'm just not good enough, maybe this isn't for me. I'm not as strong as I used to be, I'm a failure. If you've been saying those things to you, then stick around because, like I said, this episode is for you.

Speaker 1: 3:17

So the inner critic gets louder after we have gone through burnout, or while we're in the midst of burnout. One of the hardest parts about burnout is the voice inside your head that keeps telling you that you're not doing enough, you're too far behind, you can't be trusted to get it right. This inner critic thrives on our fear and our fatigue, and the first step in reclaiming your confidence is learning to challenge and reframe that voice. So ask yourself this is that thought helping me heal or is it holding me hostage? You are not your burnout. You are not your past decisions. You are growing, learning and evolving. So when you start to hear this voice say that you are too far behind, that you're not doing enough, I want you to stop and ask yourself am I doing enough? Am I meeting my deadlines? Am I taking my deadlines? Am I taking care of myself? Am I setting time aside for the things that matter? And if you're doing even a microscopic little part of any one of those things, then it means that you are doing enough and it's time to stop striving.

Speaker 1: 4:44

So burnout makes us think that we need to go, go, go, go go, and that we can't stop because then everything will fall apart. Or we can't stop because we're already too far behind. And that is a lie and those thoughts are not helping you. They are hurting you and they are holding you hostage, holding you captive to burnout. So stop identifying yourself as a person who is burned out.

Speaker 1: 5:15

Burnout is not a badge of honor. It is not something to be proud of. It is something that we need to break free from and heal from so that we can truly thrive and live a life that we know we were created to live. So confidence is self-trust in action. Confidence isn't about never doubting. It's about moving forward even when doubt is present. So whenever we are lacking in confidence, we will let our doubt hold us hostage. We will stay stuck because we don't have the confidence to step out. And when you're dealing with a lack of confidence in the wake of burnout, this looks like I am going to keep pushing, keep pushing, keep pushing for mediocrity, when instead we need to take a step out in confidence so that we can start to thrive and get out of being stuck in burnout. So here's how you can rebuild trust for yourself, self-trust after burnout Start small, make low-risk decisions and follow through with it. So I am currently working with a.

Speaker 1: 6:35

He is also trying to build a platform online and he has let his physical health and his mental health go to the wayside. So he was actually talking to me and we're trying to set up a plan for this week for him for the things that he wants to accomplish, week for him for the things that he wants to accomplish. He's got a lot of things that he wants to accomplish, but I asked him what is the most important and he said well, first of all, I want to feel better, I want to use nicotine less, I want to watch porn less, I want to exercise more. It was all of these things right. So he's talking about all of these things that he wants to do. But when I asked him what the number one hindrance is to him completing these tasks, doing these things, it came down to the fact that he does not go to bed at a normal hour. He doesn't have a normal sleep routine. So once he hits the ground running, he is going, going, going, going, going nonstop, and by the time he gets home he wants to do nothing except turn on the gaming machine and drown himself in video games. And I get it, but that is not serving his bigger purpose of wanting to feel better. So what we are doing now is we are setting small steps, small, low risk decisions that he can follow through with. So I have asked him to set a timer and turn off the video game at a very specific time and then put away the phone at a very specific time so that he is starting to wind down at a certain time, so that we can increase the time that he wakes up from 2 o'clock in the afternoon to 1.50. So we're making small steps so that he is able to follow through with it, so that he is teaching his brain that he can be trusted.

Speaker 1: 9:07

Another way to rebuild self-trust after burnout is to track your wins, keep a journal of the choices that you make that work out. And people always say, well, journaling doesn't work for me, keeping track doesn't do anything, but it does. It signals to your brain that you have accomplished something and that releases all the good neurotransmitters and hormones and it makes your brain want more of that. So track your wins. That way, when you turn back and you look back and you say, well, I haven't made any progress, you can show yourself in writing decisions that you have made that worked out, so that you can then reward yourself, celebrate yourself and say, yes, I can be trusted to make decisions for myself, follow through and see forward progress.

Speaker 1: 10:09

So listen inward is number three Ask yourself daily what do I need and what do I want? So for this specific client, he wants to feel better. So in order to feel better, he needs to start going to bed a little bit earlier. He needs to start waking up a little bit earlier so that he can get a good breakfast, so that he can do all of his grooming habits and then get out the door without feeling rushed. Because when we feel rushed 24-7, we are going to burn out, because that means that we are on fight or flight mode 24-7. And I'm sorry to break it to you, but that is no way to live. Okay.

Speaker 1: 10:54

So another way to rebuild self-trust after burnout is to forgive past. You remember you did the best that you could with the information and the knowledge that you had. I had to go back and forgive my past self when I was in the wake of burnout. I was in the wake of burnout because I did not feel that I was worthy enough to be in the positions that I was finding myself in. So I overcompensated, I stretched myself thin. I said yes to every meeting and every project I did, late nights at the office, early mornings in the office, come in and work on the weekend. I was working constantly because I didn't feel like I was worthy enough to have the job that I had, and I had to go back and forgive my past self because I was doing the best that I could with the information that I had. The information that I had proved that nobody with my past should be in the positions that I was in, and so I made decisions according to that quote unquote truth. So I had to go back and forgive myself for allowing myself to be stretched so thin that it sent me to the brink of burnout and destruction. So go back, forgive yourself because you were doing the best that you could with the information and the knowledge that you had.

Speaker 1: 12:31

Every time that you honor your needs, your voice and your pace, you strengthen your confidence muscles. Yes, so every single time that you honor your needs, your voice, your pace, you strengthen your confidence muscles. So that means honoring when you need to rest, honoring when you need a break, honoring when you need a day off, honoring when you need to go for a walk, honoring when you are hungry and you need something nourishing for your body. Honoring your needs is so important, because if you can't be trusted to take care of your needs, how are you going to trust anybody else? How can we expect anyone else to take care of our needs as well as we should be taking care of our own? As well as we should be taking care of our own.

Speaker 1: 13:30

Honor your voice. This looks like standing up for yourself. Your voice, your inner voice, is trying to speak to you and tell you I am tired, I am exhausted, I need a break. And when we don't honor our voice, we silence it. And the more we silence it, the smaller that voice gets and the harder it gets to hear it and to listen to it. So honor your inner voice, listen to it, acknowledge it, do what it needs. Honoring your pace. So this can be a really big one. If you are a high achiever meaning you have big goals, big aspirations and you are going places then you probably expect yourself to be a little further along than you actually are, and it can be very, very, very debilitating for us to not honor our pace. Our pace is unique to our journey. No one else on this planet is walking your journey. We may all experience similar things, but no one's journey is exactly like yours no one.

Speaker 1: 14:54

I have shared before that my daughter's dad was sentenced to 15 years in prison when she was nine months old. I have also shared that my fiance died of an accidental overdose six weeks before our wedding and two weeks before my daughter's fourth birthday. I have also shared that my dad passed away when I was eight years old. I had a childhood best friend die by suicide in high school. I suffered from substance use disorder from about the age of 16, 17 until I was 20 years old. I have shared that my stepson, my daughter's half-brother died by suicide in 2020. I have shared that I struggled with alcohol use disorder in the wake of his death.

Speaker 1: 15:55

I'm sure many of you out there have also experienced the death of a loved one. The unforeseen changes in your life that just happen in an instant and totally derail you. I'm sure many of you have lost a parent, lost a friend, lost a sibling, lost a child. None of us are immune to loss or destruction in our lives. However, that does not mean that we all walk the same path. Each one of our journeys is unique to us, and so when I look around at my friends and I see that they are much further along in their careers than I am. I have to remind myself that many of them didn't struggle with substance use disorder in their late teens and early adulthood. Many of them didn't drop out their freshman year of college and not go back to college until they were 21. I have to remind myself that many of them have not suffered the loss of a loved one weeks before their supposed wedding.

Speaker 1: 17:13

I have to remind myself that not everyone out there has been through the same things that I have been through, and I have to honor the fact that I am a strong, capable human with a past and that, unfortunately, I let that past hinder my progress by keeping me chained to ideas and thought mindsets like the fear of disappointing others, the fear of failure, and I let those mindsets keep me trapped to burnout for a very long time, keep me trapped to burnout for a very long time, and so I have to honor where I am, my pace. I am finally at a place where I can recognize the signs of burnout, I know how to exit the pathway to burnout and I know how to make the changes that need to be made so that I don't continue to burn out until I fall out. And so I am honoring my pace right where I am. What does it look like for you to honor your pace? Maybe it looks like giving yourself some grace for where you are. Maybe it looks like reaching out to someone and saying I wish I was further along, and you are further along. So can you share some wisdom and some insight with me as to how I can get further along and find little ways to work that into your day, little ways to work that into your to-do list to help you make progress to where you want to be, but stop beating yourself up about the fact that you are not where you thought you were supposed to be. So, just like I said, you strengthen your confidence muscles every single time. You honor your needs, your voice and your pace. So how can you honor your needs, your voice and your pace today? I would like to invite you to think about that and find one way that you can honor your needs, your voice or your peace today, your pace sorry today so that you can start to forgive your past self and start making small, low-risk decisions and then following through with those and tracking your wins and listening to yourself of what do I need today? What do I want today? Okay, so owning your strengths without overcompensating. High achievers often try to prove their worth by doing more, faster, better, stronger, but real strength doesn't need to be overcompensated, for Real confidence knows when to rest, knows when to say no and knows that worth isn't performance-based. So make a list today of the three things that you are naturally good at. What are three things that you are naturally good at this?

Speaker 1: 20:28

If you have no idea, a good exercise is to think of the things that your friends might tell you. My friends always tell me that I am such a gracious host, that I am great at hosting people. I always get told that I am organized and that I have great time management skills. I don't always agree with all those things, because sometimes I have too many balls in the air and something gets dropped. But I do know that I know how to sit down and I know how to plan something a project, a party, an event, whatever it is. You tell me what you need done. I will plan it down to a T. I will make sure that everybody knows where they're supposed to be. I will have a seating chart. I will plan it down to a T. I will make sure that everybody knows where they're supposed to be. I will have a seating chart. I will have the plates. I will have all the things.

Speaker 1: 21:16

So what are three things that you are naturally good at? I am a naturally good communicator. I am a naturally great planner and I am a naturally great naturally great Hmm. What else am I naturally great at? If you know me, shoot me a comment, but list out the three things that you are naturally good at. I am naturally good at bringing people together too. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1: 21:44

So what are three things that you overcame that were super hard? What three things have you overcome that were hard? For me, it's. I overcame loss, I overcame fear of disappointing others and I overcame addiction. The next thing I want you to think of are what do people consistently appreciate about me? What do people consistently appreciate about me? So, as I said, people consistently appreciate my generosity, they consistently appreciate my kindness and they consistently appreciate my positivity. Those are the top three things that I am constantly being appreciated for. Just remember you don't always. You don't have to earn your strengths. They've always been there. But when your confidence is low, you have to remind yourself of what your strengths are. Otherwise, you're going to start to think that you need to earn all these things, that you need to be able to perform to prove that you are these things, and that's not true friends. I want you to truly dig in and think about what your strengths are. What are you naturally good at? What are three things that you have overcome that someone else might say was hard, and what do people constantly and consistently appreciate you for? Those three categories are your strengths, and it's time that we recognize them and stop letting burnout overshadow them. Let's take back your confidence.

Speaker 1: 23:33

Okay, so let's talk about walking in grounded, grace-filled confidence. You don't need to be loud or flashy or have perfect confidence. You just need the kind that feels like peace. Here's what it looks like. As I said before, it looks like honoring your pace. It looks like staying rooted in your values, letting go of the need to prove and being real about where you are and proud of how far you've come. So confidence isn't about being fearless. It's about having faith and doing it anyway, even when fear is whispering in your ear that you should stop.

Speaker 1: 24:28

Okay, so when I am honoring my pace, I am enjoying the moment. I am enjoying the fact that I am speaking in a small room Because, guess what? Last year I wasn't speaking anywhere but on this podcast. So instead of being down on myself that I'm only speaking to 20 people today, instead I want to be excited and honor my pace, honor where I am and say, gosh, darn it, I've made some amazing progress, and here I am speaking to a room full of 20 people.

Speaker 1: 25:08

Imagine where I will be in a year if I can continue honoring my pace, staying rooted in your values, friends, you must know what your values are, because if you don't know what your values are, you're not going to know what to say yes or say no to. I know that I value time with family and friends, I value experiences, I value honesty and I value genuine connection. So when I am deciding whether to go to this place or that place or spend time with this person or that person, I stop and I ask myself will this situation align with my values? Is it a group of people who I don't connect with, or a group of people who I feel are pretentious or who I feel don't align with my personal values? Then the answer to hanging out with them is probably going to be no, because it's not going to be a great experience. It may or may not be taking time away from my family and friends, but, most importantly, that experience does not align with my values, so that's going to be a no for me.

Speaker 1: 26:30

You have to know what you value. What do you hold most important in this life? Is it family? Is it travel? Is it fun? Is it rest? Is it well-being? What are your values? Once you know what your values are, then you're going to be able to stay rooted in them, and you're going to be able to stay rooted in them and you're going to be able to go back to your values when burnout starts to shake your confidence.

Speaker 1: 26:58

Letting go of the need to prove. When we are burned out and our confidence is shot, we tend to want to prove that we are worthy, that we are able, that we are capable, and we need to stop doing that. Instead, we need to start walking in grace-filled confidence, and that means letting go of the need to prove our value, our worth and our competence. Our worth and our competence. Be real about where you are and be proud of how far you have come. I am very, very, very real about where I am and when I work with somebody, I require that they be real with me. I need to know exactly where you are and exactly where you want to be, because that is the only way that I can help you be proud of the progress that you have made. And we have to do that with ourselves too. We have to be real honest about where we are.

Speaker 1: 28:04

Why are we burned out? Was it some self-deprecating mindset that has caused us to allow ourselves to become burned out, and how can we start to let go of that mindset? It is okay to say I am burned out and I am severely lacking in my confidence. When you tell someone, when you acknowledge it for yourself, you open the door to healing. Tell someone when you acknowledge it for yourself, you open the door to healing. You open the door to the next step forward out of this place.

Speaker 1: 28:37

So I'm going to ask you where are you? Where are you? Are you at the very beginning of getting out of burnout? Well, guess what? Be proud of yourself for taking this first step out of burnout. Are you out of burnout? But you are severely lacking in your confidence and you're questioning everything that you do. Well, guess what? I am proud of you that you are no longer in a state of burnout. Let's take some steps to start rebuilding that confidence. Some steps to start rebuilding that confidence, but we have to be real about where we are and we have to start celebrating our wins. So thank you for joining me today. If this message spoke to you, I'd love for you to share it, leave a review or reach out. You don't have to walk this journey alone. If you're ready to take the next step, let's connect.

Speaker 1: 29:37

I offer one-on-one coaching. I have very limited VIP days still available. That means you get me for four straight hours or eight straight hours where we sit down and we outline either your breaking free from burnout plan or your regain my time and energy plan, or your rebuilding my confidence after burnout plan, or whatever plan it is that you need. I meet you where you are. But if you're ready to break free and truly start thriving, your time is now. That time has come. It is time for you to step out and start doing the work so that you can thrive in all aspects of your life. Remember, you are strong, you are capable and you are worthy of a confidence that does not hustle for its worth. It just is. Until next time, keep choosing grace over grind, and may you be well, may you be kind and may you find some joy this week. Bye.