From Broken to Bliss: Building Unshakable Self-Love with Navi Bliss

In this heartfelt and empowering episode of the Bella Grace Podcast, Teresa Mitchell sits down with certified Love & Relationship Coach and inspirational speaker Navi Bliss.

Navi shares her incredible journey from growing up in an abusive home with no sense of self-worth to healing, thriving, and teaching others how to fall head over heels in love with themselves. Together, they discuss:

• Why true self-love is the foundation for healthy relationships
• How unresolved childhood wounds create destructive patterns
• The science behind why we repeat toxic cycles—and how to break free
• Navi’s “Four Pillars of Confidence” to build lasting self-worth
• The myth that self-love is a one-time achievement (hint: it’s a daily practice!)

If you've ever struggled with confidence, boundaries, or attracting healthy love (or simply feeling good in your own skin), this conversation will light a fire in your heart and offer tangible steps you can start today.

You are worthy of love. You are capable of healing. And your most blissful life is waiting.

Chapters

• 0:00 Meeting Navi Bliss, Relationship Coach
• 9:32 From Abusive Past to Empowerment
• 16:50 Forgiving Yourself for Past Relationships
• 23:40 The Bear Path Theory of Attraction
• 29:13 Four Pillars of Confidence System
• 40:40 Living Your Values and Self-Trust
• 44:45 Daily Practices for Mental and Physical Health

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Bella Grace podcast, where we are helping high achievers break free from mindsets, behaviors and addictions that are holding them back from unlocking their true potential. And this week we are doing that by talking to my new friend, navi. Did I say it right? Navi? Yes, okay, navi Bliss. She is a demystifier of personal relationships, a cultivator of confidence, a certified love and relationship coach. She is also a certified inspirational speaker and the host of the Blissful Love podcast. She is a contributing author in two number one bestselling books Our Yellow Brick Road and Healing and Growth. Her first solo book, broken to Bliss, is coming out mid 2025. So we'll have to keep an eye out for that. She has also been featured on global news ctv, breakfast television, a plus media and chicken soup for the soul. I used to love that book.

Speaker 1: 1:22

Growing up with a mother who was physically and emotionally abusive left Navi with a tattered sense of self and low self-esteem.

Speaker 1: 1:36

This sent her on a path of horrible, toxic and abusive relationships until she reached her breaking point in 2016.

Speaker 1: 1:47

Relationships until she reached her breaking point in 2016, after walking away from an abusive relationship, after going on a healing journey, navi was able to flip the script on her own life and is now determined to help others do the same. As a coach, her mission in life is to help people fall head over heels in love with themselves so that they can effortlessly attract the life and love of their dreams. As an inspirational speaker, she uses her own stories of overcoming childhood abuse and neglect to inspire others that anything is possible and they too can overcome any obstacle in their way. You can overcome your past heartbreaks and trauma. You can fall in love with yourself completely and learn to feel good in your own skin every day and develop the courage to show up as your boldest, most authentic self, all while you have the most blissful, magical relationship and effortlessly attract your dream clients with ease. And Navi can show you how Welcome to the show. Did I start screwing up your name again in the middle of that?

Speaker 2: 3:00

It's all good. Yeah, thank you for that introduction.

Speaker 1: 3:03

No, it's all good. Yeah, Thank you for that introduction. Yes, Okay, my daughter's name is Desaya. It's D-I-S-S-A-Y-A and people call her Desaya all the time. So I try to be very conscious of people's name pronunciation because she gets really upset when people do that and I I'm the polar opposite. Like I'll get called Tracy One of my really good friends name is Tracy and people call me Tracy and her Teresa all the time. Or I'll get called like I don't even know, Tiffany, I've been called. One time I got called Terabithia. I was like how did you even get Terabithia from? Was that at Starbucks?

Speaker 2: 3:46

I know Starbucks comes up with the most creative names. I actually don't really mind either. Especially it's one thing if someone is just saying your name. I think everyone pronounces things a little bit differently anyway, and that doesn't really matter. But yeah, I mean, most of the time it's it just, it doesn't really bother me and yeah, I come up. There's some. I've had some creative names that every time I go to Starbucks.

Speaker 1: 4:16

I'm sure I'm sure my daughter just tells them that her name is, say, like S-A-Y, because it's just easier than trying to tell them her actual name and it cracks me up, so, anyway, okay. So tell us a little bit about how you got into this realm, that you were in this area of expertise. Tell us about your journey. I know I talked about it in the bio, but I want you to dig deep. Let us know truly how you got here and your journey to transformation along the way.

Speaker 2: 4:56

Yeah, so I'm someone that, because I grew up in an abusive home with a mother that was physically and emotionally abusive towards me, I never grew up with any self-worth or any self-esteem.

Speaker 2: 5:06

And you know, there are people that sometimes they have a period in their life where you know they really had it, they were really confident, and then something happens and then they lose it. I never had it. You know, my mom would always tell me that I was not good enough. I mean, she used a lot more colorful words than that. She told me that no one was ever going to love me, no one was ever going to accept me, and growing up with that, that set me in a place where I was so desperate for love and I was so desperate for validation that I was just seeking it anywhere that I could, and that was in all of the wrong places. And that led me to get married when I was really young. And when I got married, I thought, okay, now someone has chosen me and this is proving my mother to be wrong. And now this means that I matter. And within two years that marriage ended because my ex-husband had a child with somebody else while we were still married. And, let's just say, my self-worth had been at a negative 100 before. Now. It was at a negative 200 because, instead of proving my mother wrong, all that did was prove my mother right. And that's the problem. When you outsource your worth to other people and you outsource your validation, it's so dependent on circumstances and everything that happens right. It is not something that is solid.

Speaker 2: 6:35

And then that set me on a path of even worse, more toxic relationships, and through that I ended up in two domestic violence relationships back to back, and when I got out of the second one, I realized that I was very, very lucky to be able to walk away from that because I know it is very dangerous to leave a domestic violence relationship and I was at my absolute breaking point. I just knew that that could not continue anymore and I was willing to take responsibility, because I wasn't responsible for the things that had been done to me, but I was responsible for the people that I was allowing into my life and I made the decision that I was willing to be alone forever if that's what needed to happen. But I wasn't going to put myself in that situation again, because I barely got out of it and that sent me on a healing journey for myself, where that included therapy, it included coaching, and in that I really really learned to love myself, to fall in love with myself. And in doing that I realized, wow, this validation that I've been seeking outside of myself the whole time, I actually have the power to give that to me, and that is so powerful. And I also realized by doing that now I was attracting all of the relationships the friendships, the romantic relationships, the business relationships across the board that were so healthy and so loving as well, because I was no longer approaching life through a lens of desperation where I was clinging on to whatever was coming in front of me, whether it was healthy or not, and I now had the discernment to know what love and what healthy relationships looked like, which I did not have before. And in that, that's where I really really found my passion, because I realized that I needed someone like me a lot earlier in life.

Speaker 2: 8:43

And it isn't that I didn't have therapists or it's not that I didn't have people that were helping me, but at a certain point those people had not experienced anything like what I had experienced. And to have someone that's walked down that road I always say that it's not the things that we go through that make us feel the most alone or that cause the most amount of suffering. It's the feeling that we're the only ones that have gone through that that causes the most amount of suffering, that where no one has ever experienced that. Because if someone has experienced something like that and they've come out on the other side of it, that is your hope. That it can happen for you too, that it's absolutely possible, right, and sometimes we just need that.

Speaker 2: 9:28

We need to be able to hear someone else's story, and that's what I'm absolutely passionate about helping people to do to fall in love with themselves so that they can start giving themselves everything that they've been craving, start from the inside out, build that solid foundation of love and confidence for themselves, and then be able to attract all of the things that they want in their lives. And I absolutely know that that's possible because I did it. There wasn't this base level that I had. I started from absolutely nothing, from below, from being in the negative to now, actually, you know, feeling good in my own skin really every single day, being excited about life every single day, and so I know that that's possible for other people I've taken so many of my clients on this journey and it's absolutely the thing that I'm the most passionate about.

Speaker 1: 10:22

I love that and I think it's so important to share our stories because there are so many people out there who feel like they are the only one. And it's it's crazy because today alone, I have heard you and two other people just like randomly, not even intending to see or hear this, but heard people sharing similar stories. They're not the exact same, obviously, because each one of our experiences is unique, but at the root of it, all of the stories that I have heard today whether it was on some random reel or some random YouTube video or speaking to you right now At the root of it was some deepoted false belief of ourselves. So for you, it was a lack of self-worth, a lack of self-love. For the other lady that I heard speaking today, she had body dysmorphia and didn't feel like she was worthy of love right, because she felt like her body looked unattractive and undesirable. So that led her to settle for a less than ideal relationship and her relationship turned physical and abusive.

Speaker 1: 12:04

I was in a similar situation and my deep-rooted false belief of myself was that I was unlovable because my family didn't want anything to do with me after my dad passed away, and so that when I first got a taste of quote unquote love. I fell head over heels for it and I justified every action that that person took because, simply because they said they loved me. And so, when we used, you said like you had to forgive yourself for allowing these people to be a part of your life, like, yeah, we can't control their actions, but we can control who we allow into our inner circle. And you really do. You have to do the hard work of going back, looking at yourself as that broken, hurting, injured child that you were when you allowed this person in. Give yourself grace, forgive yourself, learn from the mistakes and move forward.

Speaker 2: 13:16

Yeah, absolutely. It's a process and it's not one that happens overnight. And even when you get to a place like the place that I'm at now, where, like I genuinely am so in those situations, because it's the more that I pushed out, the more that I'm actually able to expand the parameters of my happiness right, and it would be the opposite would also be true if I was to stop practicing and doing all of the things that I do, it could easily be eroded. Right, because self-love is a practice. It's something that you have to engage in on a regular basis. It's not just something that you do once. It's like going to the gym. You don't just go to the gym once and then you're fit for life. You have to go on a regular basis.

Speaker 1: 14:20

But obviously, if you're starting out and you've never been it's going to be quite a journey, but once you're there, maintaining it is a lot easier when you go to the gym, you don't lift the same weight, so you don't run the same distance day in, day out, because eventually, like it's not going to do a bit of difference. You have to continuously challenge yourself to the next level and the next level, because otherwise you're you know, you get complacent, you get lazy. Your, your muscles stop growing, your Get lazy, your muscles stop growing, your, whatever your energy levels will just plateau. And it's the same thing, like you were saying for self-care you have to continuously grow that muscle. So yeah, I can totally see what you're saying.

Speaker 1: 15:19

Like, had you stopped growing, you might not be on this podcast, you might not be a speaker. You know, you wouldn't have the courage and the self-love and the confidence to get out on the stage or to put yourself on camera. I know a lot of people who are. So they have beaten themselves down so much and their self-confidence is so low that I have asked them to share their story on the podcast and they won't, simply because they don't want to see themselves on camera.

Speaker 2: 15:56

Absolutely. I mean, there's also this belief sometimes that people hold that the first time you do something you're going to be amazing at it, and that's not the case, but it's just having the courage to start and you only become better by doing right. I mean, on my own podcast, if you were to listen to the first few episodes, if I listened to them, I absolutely cringe, but I haven't taken them down because that's the journey that I've been on and I want other people to be able to see that. And the thing is, if someone listens to those first few episodes, it doesn't mean that they won't get value from it, because they will. It's just I sound different now, but it's because I've gone through the experience a number of times now and I've built that muscle and I always say one of my superpowers is I'm not afraid to suck at things.

Speaker 1: 16:55

I love that. I love that. And guess what Old you probably was terrified to suck at things.

Speaker 2: 17:05

Yeah, I mean because I held myself in so much judgment at that point in my life that I just couldn't handle any more external judgment. But the truth is like when you fear judgment and you have a problem upholding boundaries because those things go hand in hand right it's actually because you're treating yourself so badly. So if you're ending up with people in your life that are treating you badly, a simple truth is you will never allow someone to treat you worse than you treat yourself. So if someone is calling you names and they're being absolutely horrible to you, when you're in your head, you are saying worse things to yourself and you are beating yourself down even worse, and that's why you're able to accept it. You might not like it, but you're able to accept it. As soon as someone crosses the threshold of how you treat yourself and they go beyond that, that is when you're going to throw up your hands and that's going to be your limit and that's going to be your boundary. Which is why, when you start to treat yourself better and you're kinder and more loving to yourself, your boundaries get a lot stronger, because what you're able to accept is less and less and less right. And when you get to a place where you only have kind, loving thoughts to say to yourself. Only have kind, loving thoughts to say to yourself, then you will not accept any sort of bad treatment from anyone.

Speaker 2: 18:36

And the thing with confidence is that sometimes people get this wrong.

Speaker 2: 18:41

They think that, okay, if I'm living in my full confidence, that means I'm going to wake up and I'm going to feel like a goddess every single day.

Speaker 2: 18:48

And the thing is, that's not what it is, because there are going to be days where you absolutely feel like a goddess and there's going to be days when you don't. But what self-confidence really is, it's full acceptance of yourself. So that means, if you wake up and you feel absolutely crummy, you feel bloated, you feel terrible, instead of going into this cycle where you're looking in the mirror and you're like, oh, I look so bad, you're being loving to yourself, right, and you're saying, okay, what can I do to take care of myself? Can I go make myself some nice tea? You're practicing that kindness towards yourself. You're practicing that acceptance, right. It doesn't mean that, like I said, every single day you feel like a goddess, but it means that every single day you're kind to yourself and even in the moments when you feel bad, you're not beating yourself down, you're nurturing yourself, you're loving to yourself, and then those moments obviously pass by a lot quicker, because if you're not feeling well, either mentally or physically, obviously when you take care of yourself, that is when you have the turnaround.

Speaker 1: 19:59

Yeah, yeah. That's really powerful because Because I don't think I think a lot of people struggle with they are doing it to me. They are lashing out at me, they are treating me badly, they are cussing at me, they are blah, blah, blah, like fill in the blank. They're hitting me, they're cheating on me. They are treating me like a do the blank. They're hitting me, they're cheating on me. They are treating me like a doormat. But we really need to flip the script and look at it.

Speaker 1: 20:37

I was talking to someone and he brought up the serenity prayer God, give me the wisdom to know the things that I can change, the whatever. I just drew a blank on him. But it's basically like know the things that I can change, the whatever. I just you're a blank on him. But it's basically like know the things you can change, know the things you can't, in the wisdom to tell the difference. And we can't control someone else. And I'm a really bad recovering addict, because I should have that memorized as a recovering addict, that's okay, that's okay. I haven't been to aa or in a in years. They will forgive me. Um, but we have to stop and start recognizing what we can change, what we can't change. We can't change someone else's behavior. You're never going to change another person, but you can change the way that you're reacting to it and acknowledging what you said of you're never going to allow someone to treat you worse than you treat yourself.

Speaker 2: 21:36

And yeah, and there's also two other components to that. One is like you can't change another person, but as you change yourself, the people in your life that are capable of change will change, because you're changing how you're showing up and so their response to you in turn is also going to change, if they're capable of it. Now someone is, you know, some sort of clinical diagnosis a narcissist, psychopath, whatever, like. That person isn't going to change, and it isn't about that, right? But there's plenty of people in your life that you feel like probably aren't showing up for you right now. But if you started showing up for yourself differently, you create the space and the invitation and the opening for them to be able to show up for you. And it can also be that maybe they've tried and you've just said no and you've pushed them away, and so they don't want to try anymore, right? So maybe you have some really good friends in your life who've offered to do things for you and support you in some ways, and you're like no, I've got it. You said that to them a bunch of times and when you say that, when you come across that way, it's actually feels like you're pushing the other person away, and so you know if they're kind, respectful people, they don't want to push your boundaries. So then they stop asking and then you think, oh, no one ever asked me if they can help me and they can support me. Meanwhile you've been pushing this away.

Speaker 2: 22:59

And if you work on yourself and you start changing yourself, you create an opening for those people to show up and to start treating you differently. The other thing that happens is when you change what is normal to you, what your baseline is. You change what you're attracted to, because here's the thing you can want, whatever you want, but if it is not normalized to your nervous system, you will never be attracted to it, because the way that our brain works right, it has not changed drastically from caveman times. And our brain is not designed to help us thrive, it is designed to help us survive. So how this worked is okay. Let's just say, in those caveman times you were going to gather some food and there's a path that you walk down and there's a small bear on that path and you're able to outrun that bear and it's not a problem for you. I mean, it's not great, but you're able to survive that bear, right. And then there's three other paths and you have no idea what's on those paths. Now, there could be no bears, or there could be six huge bears or whatever other dangers's on those paths. Now, there could be no bears, or there could be six huge bears, or whatever other dangers are on those paths. Your brain wants to keep you alive, so it's going to keep taking you down the path that it knows that you know, that you know how to survive right, and it's not going to allow you to go down the other path. So now this goes for relationships.

Speaker 2: 24:29

So for me, as somebody who grew up in an abusive home, what was normal to me, what was safe to me, to my brain, was abuse, because my nervous system was wired for that. So if someone was treating me a certain way, my brain was like, okay, you know how to survive this, you know how to handle this. And if someone is being kind to me, my nervous system was like, oh, you don't know how to handle this. Can you handle this? Can you survive this? It's actually a good thing, but my brain isn't designed to help me thrive, it's designed to help me survive.

Speaker 2: 25:04

So I had to learn how to rewire my nervous system in order to be able to change what I was attracted to. And the thing is, when I made calm and normal and serenity and peace what was normal for my nervous system, then what I was attracted to completely changed and I just wasn't attracted to the same type of people. And so I went from the pattern of basically being with the same person in a different body again and again and again to a complete 180,. Right, but that had to start with me, because again, you're attracted to what feels safe and what feels familiar to you. You, not what you want or what you intellectually know is good yes, yes, that is so powerful and I was.

Speaker 1: 25:57

the listeners cannot see me and the and the video won't show me in my reactions the way that it records. But I was sitting here like shaking my head and like yes, yes, yes, because you're spot on, like the science behind it. I don't think people realize how simple the brain is. It is a complex organ and, yes, we don't know everything about the brain, but at its base, at its very base, functioning, it is literally just trying to keep us alive. That is it. That is the sole purpose of eating, drinking, sex, whatever that is simply to keep us alive and it's designed for efficiency, right.

Speaker 2: 26:53

So it's not that it keep us alive and it's designed for efficiency, right. So it's not that it's simple, but it's designed for efficiency, and the most efficient thing is to keep repeating the same pattern that has, like that has worked right and it's work to keep you alive, not not to help you thrive, but it's it's understanding that it's that that's what's happening.

Speaker 1: 27:09

Yeah, and rewiring your brain and your nervous system takes work. That's not efficient, that is not the quickest way to get a job done. It is complex and your brain is like, nope, not doing it. We're going to go the easy route, and so it takes a lot of work to rewire your brain to function a different way in not just relationships, but all other situations too. Like I'm a recovery coach, and so with addiction recovery it's the same thing. You have to train your brain to react differently, and it takes work. It is like getting on the Stairmaster for the very first time. Your legs are going to be screaming at you and your butt is going to be saying get me off this dang Stairmaster, because I'm about to explode, because your butt muscles are going to be burning, but you're not, and if you keep working at it, the Stairmaster will become a piece of cake.

Speaker 2: 28:13

Yeah, and I mean, I would say it's even a little bit more complex than that, because if you think of a computer program, it's like you have to rewrite the program, but first you have to go and you have to find where all the glitches are. So you can't just like overwrite it, you have to find where all of the things are. And this is where it's nuanced and it takes a long time. But this is also where, like, I'm happy to share, because this is something that people talk about. They talk about how you should love yourself, how you should prioritize yourself, and you know, no one really explains the tangible. How do you do this? Right? Because you know people will say, oh, like, go take a spa day, get your nails done, and those things are all absolutely wonderful, but they're not going to change your life, right? And so this is where I came up with a system which I call my four pillars of confidence, which this you can say doesn't matter where your self-worth is, it doesn't matter where your confidence isworth is, it doesn't matter where your confidence is. If it's in the dumpster, you can start here. It's, it's not going to be the thing that triggers you. And this is the foundation of all of the work that I do. Um? So my first pillar of confidence is you have to live your passions, because you are not going to be confident and you are not going to feel good if you're living a life that you're not passionate about. Now, I understand that sometimes you have to go and you have to have a job that you're not passionate about right. But that doesn't have to be your whole life. And if you're allowing it to be your whole life, this is where misery is permeating throughout your life, right? So your passions get to be your passions. So, for someone, it could be joining a knitting circle, right, and you go to that once a week and that brings you so much joy and it adds this spark to your life because you're going and doing this To someone else. It might not seem very interesting, but it lights you up.

Speaker 2: 30:11

And the thing is, anytime someone talks about something that lights them up, it gets the other person interested and engaged. Like, have you ever seen someone on television and they're excitedly talking about something and you have no idea what they're talking about, but you want to pay attention just because of the person's energy. And the same is true for every single person right, so this could be another person. They're going to maybe join a sports league. Another person is going to, you know, join a video game club, like it really doesn't matter.

Speaker 2: 30:48

But you have to have things in your life that you're passionate about that light you up and this will also spark you to be able to create shifts in your life where you can start to move towards an entire life that you're passionate about. But a lot of times people don't move and they stay stuck because they think, well, I have to start here and I have to do it this way. No, you start in the ways that you can and the baby steps will make that shift and it makes you magnetic. And the thing is, when you do the things that you're passionate about, when you go to the spaces that you're interested in, you are going to be able to connect with other people that are going to lead to other opportunities. And I also love to start here, because if you're in a place where you feel very triggered around your body, around other things maybe affirmations or something like that isn't the place to start, because those things feel really bad for you to say. But it's like there are things that you know that you're interested in, you can start putting your energy towards it and you're going to start to feel good and you're going to as you do it, as you talk about it, as you show up in the world.

Speaker 2: 31:57

And then my second pillar of confidence is to live your values. So you know, when I say this, most people are like, yeah, of course I'm living my values. But where people get tripped up is you might have values that are conflicting with other values that you have, and because self-worth and self-confidence right is actually just a state of alignment within yourself, because that's the only way you can achieve that acceptance and peace you need to make sure one part of you is not fighting with another part of you, and so how you check this is to check your values. So an example of this could be you value financial success, and the way that you think you need to achieve financial success is be working extremely long hours and working very, very hard. But you also value fun and freedom.

Speaker 2: 32:53

So now, every single time you're at work, yeah, you're making money, and part of you is proud of yourself for all of that that you're doing, and the other part of you is absolutely resentful and irritated because there's no fun and freedom. And then, when you're relaxing and you're out doing something fun, that part of you is experiencing joy and the other part of you is absolutely annoyed because you think I could be working and I could be making more money and I could be moving ahead in life. So you have two values that are in conflict and now there's one part of you that's fighting with another part of you. So how are you going to feel fully confident and at peace with yourself? So how you can do this is and for each value it's going to be different and for each person it's going to be different. So a lot of times you just need to redefine your values. Right, so you can still have the value of financial success and fun and freedom.

Speaker 2: 33:50

But maybe you need to redefine how you achieve financial success, because maybe it isn't working so many hours, maybe it's learning to work more efficiently, maybe it's deciding that every time you have fun, you're able to tap into your creativity, and that allows you to be able to tap into a different level when you're at work. And so if you really take that time to enjoy the time that you're having fun, that allows you to thrive at work. You could also make the decision that fun isn't important to you and you just want to focus on work right, you could make the decision the other way. You get to decide this, but what's important to you. But the thing is, it's important to get clear on this Because if you don't, there's always going to be one part of you that's angry with another part of you.

Speaker 2: 34:36

The same thing goes for, let's just say, you value health and you think the way to be healthy is I need to eat clean all the time. I have to work out seven days a week and I have to do all of these things. And there's a part of you that's a foodie and loves food, going on vacations, all of these things, and when you're eating healthy, you're proud of yourself, you're feeling good. But then that part of you that's the foodie that loves food and enjoys all these things is also frustrated and annoyed at the same time that you're feeling proud of yourself for doing all of this, because it's not getting to enjoy all of these culinary experiences that you want to enjoy, right, and so, again, this can be redefining this for yourself. Right, you could redefine this and say, okay, like actually the thing, like, if I care about my health, then part of that like my health is like my enjoyment and my well-being, right, and if I go out and have a fun culinary experience every single week and I don't worry about calories and whatever that contributes to my overall health, right.

Speaker 2: 35:43

Or you could abandon one or the other right For each person. This is where you get to define it for yourself and you get to sit down and it's a fun. It's a fun exercise and you can play with this right Because you can say, okay, like what would it feel like if I was to abandon this? Like, am I really able to do that so that you can find that way to come to peace and alignment within yourself. So you're not one part of you isn't constantly fighting another part of you. And as you start to do this, you're going to realize your confidence is going to start to get higher and higher and higher, because you get to be in the moment and you're not beating yourself up for all of the things that you're doing all of the time.

Speaker 2: 36:28

And then my next pillar of confidence is to cultivate self-trust. So you cannot love somebody that you don't trust, and that includes yourself. So many people they have a very poor level of self-trust, but it's often because you're very unhappy with where your life is right now and you want it to do a 180 tomorrow. And that's not how life works. Change happens and it'll happen a lot faster than you think it will, but it's not going to happen overnight. But if you, if you make a 1% change every single day at the end of the month, it won't just be, you know, like a 30% change that you've made, because each day compounds on the change that you made the day before and it'll be a much bigger change than you think that you've made. But you have to start in the small ways, and so how we end up breaking our self-trust is we make these really lofty promises to ourselves and then we don't even believe ourselves, right? So I don't know. Let's take New Year's for an example.

Speaker 2: 37:40

So many people are, you know, they've never worked out a day in their life and they're like this is a year, I'm going to get fit, I'm going to work out twice a day for two hours every day, right, and from going from nothing to this, right, and maybe you do that for a day, and then the next day, snooze, snooze, snooze, and then you miss one of the workouts and then you're like, why do I even bother with the second one? And by the fifth day, like you don't? You hate yourself. You're so angry with yourself. And if you even say to yourself, I'm going to work out the next day, you don't even believe yourself. You're laughing at yourself as you're saying this.

Speaker 2: 38:17

And how are you going to be confident in life when you don't even believe the things that you're saying? And how to combat this is simply try the baby steps, right? So instead of saying, okay, I've never worked out a day in my life, I'm going to go to working out twice a day for two hours a day. Maybe you say I'm going to do 10 pushups every day now, and then it doesn't mean that you can't do more if you wanted to do more, but that is your goal right, and no matter if you hit snooze 10 times. That is your goal right, and no matter if you hit snooze 10 times. You have a crazy day. You can squeeze in those 10 pushups because it doesn't take you that long, and then you've made this promise to yourself and you've kept this promise. That's going to make you feel good. It's going to increase your confidence. You're going to believe what you're saying.

Speaker 2: 39:07

And then maybe you do that for two weeks and then you're able to make a bigger promise, right, and then you say, okay, now I'm going to go for a 10 minute walk and you believe yourself when you say that. And because you believe yourself and you have that trust in yourself that gives you the confidence to actually be able to follow through, because you know what it's like to be able to follow through. So you're cultivating this base of confidence and, before you know it, yeah, like so maybe you're not going to have that body transformation in January, but you know, by the time next New Year's rolls around, your life is completely different, because you've integrated this exercise into your life and you've built it brick by brick in a way that feels sustainable to you and in a way where you can believe yourself. Right, and that's just an example, but it applies to really anything that you're promising yourself and being able to keep those promises. And then my last pillar of confidence is to practice loving, kindness to yourself.

Speaker 2: 40:05

And then there's four areas where you need to do this and you have to do it every single day. And the first area is you have to do something for your mental health every single day. The second area is you have to do something for your physical health every single day. The third area is you have to do something for your spiritual health every single day. And the last thing is you have to do something for your aesthetic well-being every single day. And the reason for this is okay. If your mental health is not good, nothing else is going to be good, right? And, like I said, self-love is a practice and this doesn't mean again making these lofty promises you're going to break.

Speaker 2: 40:46

Maybe what you do for your mental health is you know, you take one minute every day and you do deep breathing exercises just for one minute. You take that time to unplug, and then you could add more. Certain days you're going to do more. Maybe you're going to go to therapy, you're going to have a coaching session, you're going to go for a walk in nature, you're going to do all of that, but you have something baseline that you do every single day, because this is you telling yourself that your mental health matters. Then you do something for your physical well-being every single day. Again, this doesn't have to be monumental. Maybe it's you eat a piece of fruit, maybe you get up in the morning and you drink a glass of water, but it's you prioritizing yourself in that way and signifying to yourself that that's important, and some days it's going to be small things and some days it's going to be really big things. Some days you're going to drink a glass of water and maybe someday you're going to run a marathon, right, and both are important and each one of those things that you do each day it matters.

Speaker 2: 41:48

The next is your spiritual well-being. So if you practice any sort of religion, you can participate in that. If you do not, you can go out in nature, you can look at the stars, you can go hug a tree, and the reason why this matters is because oftentimes our problems seem so big and it's because we feel disconnected from the world and we think it's going to happen. And when you do something for your spiritual well-being, it's your daily reminder that you are a part of something bigger. So, whether that is you know an ecosystem in nature, you're participating in that and you're part of that. So you feel like you're part of something bigger. Or whether it's, like I said, if you participate in a religion or whatever, that is like that you feel connected to something bigger than you, because this is going to help you in those moments when you feel like your problems are so big and you realize like I'm just a small thing in this huge ecosystem. So actually, is my problem really that big? Is it actually really that insurmountable?

Speaker 2: 42:57

And then the last one is your aesthetic well-being.

Speaker 2: 43:00

This is simply because you will not feel confident if you do not take care of yourself in this way.

Speaker 2: 43:04

Now I don't mean that you have to go and do full glam, hair and makeup every single day, but during COVID we all experienced this, where we didn't leave our houses and maybe we didn't shower for a week and we wore the same clothes and we were stinky and we felt like garbage and if anyone was to see us at that point, we would want to run and hide.

Speaker 2: 43:23

So you have to do basic things to take care of your basic hygiene. So whether that just means you wake up in the morning and you wash your face and you change your sweatpants and you put on a different pair of sweatpants, that's okay, but it's something that you do every single day and it's going to vary day by day, right? So some days it is just going to be washing your face and changing your clothes, and some days it's going to be full glam from head to toe, right. But again, this is, it's this practice that you engage in every single day, where you signify to yourself that this is important and you put yourself in a place where somebody was to knock on your door, something was to happen. You don't have to hide in shame, where you can take pride in yourself in that way.

Speaker 1: 44:07

Yeah, yeah, for sure that's so powerful. Yeah, yeah, for sure that's so powerful. Thank you for sharing those. You're amazing, thank you. I think that's great all of it. You gave the listeners like truly tangible things that they can put into practice to start increasing their self-love. Um, we took them on a crazy ride to get there, but I think it's really important because at the root of everything is your self-love for yourself. Nothing's going to change until you learn to love yourself. So thank you for sharing that. I think it's going to be really powerful for a lot of people.

Speaker 2: 44:49

Yeah, absolutely. And, like I said, I mean I love those four pillars because it doesn't matter where you are in your journey, like even if you already have a good base level, you can go and refine some of those things because you probably notice like oh, maybe, like yeah, okay, I noticed that. Or if you're like at the very bottom, where, like doing other things like absolutely triggers you, doing this inventory and going through this is a great starting point which is going to elevate you and then you can like add more and do more.

Speaker 1: 45:15

Yeah, for sure. Okay, so where can everybody get in touch with you? I will be sharing your links in the show notes, but just in case someone is striving and not able to get to it, let us know where you are on social.

Speaker 2: 45:29

Yeah, so my website is naviblisscoachingcom, so that's N-A-V-I-B-L-I-S-S, coachingcom, and then I'm just at Navi Bliss on all socials.

Speaker 1: 45:42

Awesome. I love it Well, thank you for being on today. I appreciate you and everyone. Until next week, be well, be kind, and may you find some joy this week. Bye.