From Chaos to Clarity: Managing Stress with Structure

If your life feels like it’s always on fire, and structure sounds more like a burden than a blessing, this series is for you.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why burnout often stems from disorganization, not just overwork
• How to simplify your day by identifying what actually matters
• How to create supportive systems that flex with your real life
• Burnout-proof morning and evening routines you can actually keep
• A weekly reset ritual that keeps you grounded, not just productive

These tools are designed for real-world professionals with real-world pressure—no fluff, no perfectionism. Just clarity, restoration, and sustainable rhythms that work.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Chaos to Clarity
• 3:21 The Chaos-Burnout Connection
• 10:08 Signs You're Living in Chaos
• 19:42 The Power of Structure and Routines
• 28:10 What Actually Matters in Your Day
• 36:55 Creating Systems That Support Not Trap
• 51:46 Burnout-Proof Morning and Evening Routines
• 1:00:29 Designing Your Weekly Reset System

Transcript

Teresa: 0:04

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Bella Grace podcast, where we are helping high achievers break free from mindsets, behaviors and addictions that are holding them back from reaching their true potential. And this week we are doing that by talking about going from chaos to clarity. I am super excited. Normally I will do these episodes as a recap of the live series that I had done the week before, but I realized that I did them in reverse order, and last week I From Clarity to Courage, and I had people reach out to me and say, hey, this is great, but I don't know what I want. My life is so chaotic right now that I can't think about what I want. I can't think about dreams and goals and what ifs and could bes. So I decided to take a step back and take us back a notch, and this week on my Facebook page, I have been doing the series called From Chaos to Clarity, and instead of putting out clarity to courage, this week on the podcast I will be putting out chaos to courage. I mean chaos to clarity. So if you're following along with me, if you watch me on all of my platforms, then that's why this is a little bit out of order, but I wanted to make sure that we start with getting from chaos to clarity, because we can't figure out what we want until we clear some of the clutter, and that's what today's episode is all about. Let's clear the clutter. Do you ever feel like you're just running on fumes, even when you're technically getting things done?

Teresa: 2:01

Today we're going to kick off from chaos to clarity by breaking down the real link between burnout and the constant chaos that surrounds high achievers. Spoiler alert it's not just a time issue. It's a systems issue. I'll share the hidden costs of disorganization, disorganized routines, how decision fatigue drains your energy and what clarity can really look like for your nervous system. Whether you are a leader, an entrepreneur, a caregiver and you work in the service industry, wherever you find yourself, this is your first step towards sustainable energy and peace. Welcome everyone. I'm so excited.

Teresa: 2:53

This series that I have been doing on Facebook this week is a powerful one, and I'm excited to talk about it. So let's dive in to talk about it. So let's dive in. If you're constantly busy but still feel behind or exhausted, you are not alone. Today, we are starting with a truth that many people overlook Chaos is a burnout trigger. So let's talk about the chaos burnout connection. Burnout isn't just from doing too much. It's also from disorganization, unclear expectations and constant decision making. So again, burnout it doesn't mean that you're just doing too much. It means that you have some disorganization going on, you have unclear expectations and you are constantly making decisions.

Teresa: 3:49

When I was at my peak burnout season, I was totally disorganized in my brain. On paper, it looked like I had it all together. I had the projects, I was getting the projects done, I was going to all of the meetings, I was making all of the family functions. On the outside it looked like everything was going well, but on the inside, thoughts, ideas, frustrations, to-do lists everything was just bouncing around in my brain, causing mass chaos which was leaving me feeling exhausted. So every decision that I make I had to make felt like a million pounds. I felt like every tiny decision that I made was going to be the one that was going to break me. When everything feels urgent, your brain stays in survival mode, which increases cortisol and drains your energy. I know right now on TikTok and Instagram like cortisol detoxes are trending and that's all well and good, but the best thing that you can do for your cortisol levels is to get out of fight or flight mode, and we do that by creating some organization in our minds and in our lives. We set clear expectations for ourselves and for others, and we start to delegate some of the decisions that we have to make so that we don't feel so overwhelmed all the time.

Teresa: 5:28

So signs you're living in chaos. Even if you look organized, you feel scattered or overwhelmed at the start of the day. When you open your eyes, what is the first thought that comes to mind? When you open your eyes, what is the first thought that comes to mind? Think about this morning. When you opened your eyes, what was the first thought that came to your mind? Was it your to-do list? Was it your bank account? Was it your inbox? Was it Facebook, instagram, tiktok? How did it make you feel? Did your heart start racing? Did you already start to feel flustered Like? What did that look like? Because if you are scattered and overwhelmed before you even hit your, before your feet even hit the ground, this is a sign that you are living in chaos.

Teresa: 6:21

Cross if you're constantly reacting instead of responding. So your daughter has a trip coming up right, and you are like okay, I got to make sure she has road snacks. I got to make sure that she has plenty of water. I got to make sure this I got to make sure that. I got to make sure that. I got to make sure I text the parents that she's traveling with all of the things, right.

Teresa: 6:47

But then life gets busy and you have to figure out what to make for dinner. Every day this week. You have to figure out how people are going to get picked up. You have to also manage the projects that work and before you know it, it is the day of travel and you have not gone to the grocery store. It is the day of travel and you have not gone to the grocery store. So you respond by Uber eating, uber eating, uber eats, getting Uber eats to deliver snacks to your house so that your daughter can pack them. You're not there to pick her up or take her to the family's house that she's traveling with, and you had to choose less than ideal snacks because you were on crunch time. So that is reacting rather than responding. A response to this situation would have been planning a little bit ahead of time, making sure you had time to go to the grocery store. But when you have so many things rolling around in your head that are to do's and you're not getting them down on paper, things fall to the wayside and we forget about them, and then we aren't responding. We are reacting when something becomes a do or die situation, and so we got to take a step back and really get some organization around our lives so that we are responding rather than reacting. Another sign that you are living in chaos, even if you look organized, is you have too many open loops. So open loops are incomplete tasks, thoughts or obligations. How many open loops do you have? How many incomplete tasks do you have?

Teresa: 8:33

I am in the middle of getting my house ready for everybody to come down for graduation, so I am deep cleaning my house, one room at a time. Um, deep cleaning my house one room at a time. So right now, it looks like I have a million open loops, because my laundry is half done, my kitchen is half done, my front living room hasn't been cleaned yet, like my house is in disarray because I am, I have all kinds of open loops. Right, I haven't finished any one room yet, and so, or I'm waiting for something to happen in this room before I can move on to the next one, whatever, but that those open loops in my life are intentional because I am allowing space for other things. So I easily could have sat down and said okay, all day, saturday, I'm not doing anything else except cleaning. But I know that I have to make time for myself, make time for my mental health, make time for my physical health, make time for my social health and make time for my spiritual health. So that means that I have to take a break. So I have intentionally left some loops open, but they are not like plaguing me in the back of my mind.

Teresa: 9:54

When you have open loops and they are plaguing you, they are in the back of your mind and you're thinking about them 24-7. That is when it is causing a problem. Okay, so I tell some of my clients that I know have very short attention spans. I say look, work on a task for 30 minutes, go do something else and come back to it. You're gonna come back more focused and you're gonna be able to finish it quicker than if you try to sit down and do it all at once. That is not the same as having an open loop as an incomplete task. So what we're talking about here is when you are doing something and then you go do something else and then go do something else and go do something else and then go do something else, and you never quite make it back to that original task. But in the back of your mind you're like, oh my gosh, I have to go finish that task. Oh my gosh, you still haven't finished that task. Oh my gosh, I haven't finished that task. And then in a week you're like, oh crap, I forgot about that task. So that is the kind of situation that we're talking about.

Teresa: 11:05

Or maybe you have thoughts. I really want to write my book and I don't know what I want the title to be, but I do know I want this chapter to be about this, and I know I want this chapter to be about this. And I know I want to take on this project and I know I want to volunteer over here and I know I want to volunteer over there and oh, maybe I can speak at an event, right? Okay, so that is a lot of thoughts rolling around in your head and it's going to lead to chaos if you are not already in a chaotic mental state. So we have got to figure out how to clear some of that clutter so that those thoughts aren't just rolling around in your head like a pinball, a pinball machine.

Teresa: 11:48

The other one is obligations. How many obligations do you have? How many of those do you actually need to do? I often get told yeah well, I have to take my kids here and there. Yeah well, I have to be there for my friend for this event. Well, I have to make sure that I go pick up this person from work because they don't have a ride home. Do you have to, or is there someone else who could step in and do it? Could you say hey, I would love to pick you up at the airport, but I can't right now. So can I call you an Uber? That is an easy way to still be there for someone without having to put yourself on the back burner.

Teresa: 12:32

I actually was interviewed on a podcast last night and stayed up way too late, which is why I'm so sleepy. If you're watching the video, my eyes are like I'm so, so sleepy because we stayed up really late last night recording that episode. But we were talking about delegation and how. If it is not blood fire flood, bff, but blood fire flood, then it should not take the place of your you time on your calendar. You should be putting yourself on the calendar and before you commit to any obligation, you should be checking your capacity to take on that obligation. Am I mentally, physically, capable of doing this obligation? If not, then it needs to be a no.

Teresa: 13:26

Okay, so let's talk about the power of structure. Structure isn't just, it's not about rigidity, it's about freedom. So when we have structure, it is like having those bumper rails on the bowling lane, right, if you have structure, bumper rails on the bowling lane, right. If you have structure, then when something comes up against a boundary that you've set or comes against one of your values, then you're very quickly able to kind of bounce off that and get back in the center of the lane and keep going forward. But whenever we don't have structure, we are just willy-nilly flying all over the place with nothing to tie us down no values, no why, no understanding of where we're going, no plan. So we really need structure to help keep us centered and to remind us of why we're doing what we're doing.

Teresa: 14:23

And when you have structure, you really have the freedom to explore what feels good for you, explore what works for you, explore what you want to do with your life, explore, saying yes or no. But none of that happens until we have some structure around our lives. So structure can look like boundaries. Structure can look like knowing where you want to be in 10 years. If you know that you want to move to Hawaii, then that means that you have to have some structure around your finances. It means that you don't get to go to a club with your friends and spend a1,000 on bottle service every weekend because you need to be saving some of that money so that you can go to Hawaii.

Teresa: 15:12

So structure gives us the freedom to make space for the things that we actually want and that are good for us, rather than just floating around out there like an astronaut that has detached from its tether, keeping it on the spaceship. I don't know if you've ever seen any of those space movies, but you know the astronaut gets cut loose or comes loose or gets away. You know gets cut off and it gets just good. The astronaut just goes floating out into space. And that's what happens to us when we don't have structure. So when your day has rhythm and clarity, your brain can relax. So if your brain knows that there is structure, if the brain knows that there is organization, if there is rhyme and reason to what we are doing, then your brain can get out of fight or flight mode and it can actually relax.

Teresa: 16:08

And having a relaxed brain helps your body digest food, it helps with energy levels, it helps with joy, it helps with serotonin and melatonin and all the things, all the tins in your brain that help us function as a well-oiled machine, that help us function as a well-oiled machine. But when our brain is in fight-or-flight mode 24-7, then we are in survival mode. Our brain constantly thinks that we are being chased by a lion and it cannot function properly. It cannot digest food properly, it can't sleep properly, it can't exercise properly, it can't breathe properly, it can't exercise properly, it can't breathe properly, it can't process emotions properly. When it is this, its sole focus is oh my gosh, we're about to get eaten by a lion, so we got to run.

Teresa: 16:57

So I really want to encourage you to find a rhythm for your day, every day. Even simple routines help your nervous system feel safe. So it can be something very small. But as long as your brain knows that that is going to happen every day unless it is blood, fire or flood then your brain can feel safe and relaxed. So it might be as simple as hey. I've been really bad about not brushing my teeth at night for the last 15 years. Brush them every morning, but I kind of suck at brushing them at night. Maybe you work that into a nighttime routine. Maybe you make that a top priority. You are going to thank yourself, you're going to feel good and your nervous system is going to feel safe simply by knowing that every night at 9 30, we are going to brush our teeth and then we're going to get in bed and we're going to relax. But start, small, simple routines is where to start. Find one thing that you can do. That can be your new routine, a new piece of your routine to start helping your nervous system slow down and feel safe.

Teresa: 18:15

Okay, so let's talk about clarity over control. You don't need to control every single detail. If you were a control freak, like I was for many, many years, that might be rooted in something like a fear of disappointing others, a fear of failure, a striving for perfection, putting our value in our performance and in our productivity. But I want to tell you today that you don't need to control every detail. You need to clarify what matters most and build rhythms that support that. So next, we are going to dive into simplifying your day. What actually matters, your day, what actually matters. So, if you are exhausted from doing everything but still feel like nothing meaningful is getting done, then this section is for you. So we're going to. We're going to keep going on the chaos to clarity, but now we're going to talk about simplifying your day. What actually matters. Okay, so let's dive in, ready, ready. If your to-do list looks like a CVS receipt and you still feel behind, this is for you. I haven't gotten a CVS receipt in years, but the last time I did because I finally switched it to text because I was like no, cvs receipts are like a mile long. They are huge, huge.

Teresa: 19:58

So listen up, many, many high achievers, many driven people, many dedicated people fall into the trap of doing more to feel more in control, and that is backwards thinking, and I am guilty of it. I am guilty of it. I always say that it's easier for me to do something than it is for me to explain to someone else how to do something, and it's backwards thinking. It is actually going to save you time if you just take the time and show someone else how to do it or ask someone else to do it, and then you are giving yourself back hours every month because you're not having to do that task, right?

Teresa: 20:50

So I asked my daughter to mop. Well, she asked if she could mop and sweep for some extra money and I was like sure. And then she was like I don't know how to use our mop. I was like, oh, I have failed you as a mother. I have failed you. I've only ever taught her how to use the Swiffer. But when I started to think about it, I only showed her how to use the Swiffer because I didn't want to take the time to sit down and show her how to use the mop. In my brain it was easier to just hand her the Swiffer and go, say, go clean the floor with the Swiffer, where she could just pull the trigger and you know the the cleaning solution comes out and she just mops it up with the pad. And so I would often just ask her to do spot treatments around the house until I could actually mop the entire floor. But now that she knows how to mop floor, but now that she knows how to mop, I am saving myself hours, because most of my house is tile, so it took me a little bit of time to show her how to mop and now she can mop on her own and I get an hour and a half to two hours back of my time and it is amazing.

Teresa: 22:03

So let's get out of that mindset that doing more, that we need to do more to feel more in control. Yes, the floor may not look exactly the way you want. Yes, it may not be exactly the way you would have done it, but it is okay, because going from chaos to clarity is all about clearing the clutter. And if you can clear two hours off of your to-do list every week because you're not mopping, that is a win, friend, because in that time, in those two hours, you could be spending time working on your book, you could be spending time working on homework, you could be spending time with friends, with family, laying in bed, doing absolutely nothing. Doesn't that sound amazing? Yeah, it does. So. Complexity adds weight to your nervous system, like we said before, especially when you're constantly shifting gears.

Teresa: 23:03

I actually posted a reel about not multitasking and I had a lot of people commenting on it saying I thrive in multitasking. Okay, you may think that you thrive in multitasking, and I will say that there is a small subsect of society who does actually thrive in multitasking, but the vast majority of us do not, because our brains cannot switch gears that quickly without exerting a ton of energy to do so. So, while you might think multitasking is a good thing, or makes you a great employee or sets you apart, I really want to invite you to think about it when you are multitasking, at the end of the day, how tired are you? And then compare that to a day where you work solely on one project at a time. Maybe you spend an hour on this project and then you shift gears, and you spend an hour on this project and then you shift gears and you go back to the original project. But what happens when you give dedicated time to each project, rather than, in one hour, working on four different projects? I would love to know if you do that little experiment and what you find out about yourself. You might be surprised. So the power of simplification. When your day is built around exactly what matters to you, you create space for focus, rest and growth. But when your day is full of things that don't matter to you, you are going to end the day exhausted.

Teresa: 24:54

So I like to talk to people. Whenever I talk to people about this, I always use my brother and me as an example. My brother is a math brain. He thrives in numbers. He can break down an equation. He can tell you I don't even know, he's in petroleum, he's now, he's in a totally different industry, he was in nursing before. But, boy, you give him an equation and he will pop it out just like that me. I see numbers and I want to cry. In fact, he made me cry when I was in probably high school, late junior high, early high school, when I was taking geometry, because he just could not understand how I did not understand geometry and he was trying to explain it to me.

Teresa: 25:47

And I am a total creative brain. I love abstract ideas. I love learning about the brain. I love learning about personalities and the human experience. I am the people person. My brother is the numbers person. So if I spend my entire day having to crunch numbers, I am going to be exhausted and miserable at the end of the day. But when I get to spend the day talking to people and building relationships and helping them through their issues and coming up with solutions. I am energized. I get through the end of the day and I'm like, yes, this was a good day. I'm ready to like, hang out with my family, I'm ready to make dinner.

Teresa: 26:38

It is night and day how numbers and what actually matters to me affect my energy levels. If you talk to my brother, he would say that spending an entire day in an office full of people and having to have conversations and spending time on Zoom all day doing meetings and talking to people and working through things with people, he would say that that exhausts him. Do things with people he would say that that exhausts him. So it doesn't matter which side of the spectrum you're on, whether you are a analytical, numbers, straightforward kind of person, or if you are a free spirit, dreamer, creative, like I am. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you actually create space for what matters to you on your calendar throughout your day as much as possible, because it is going to lead to focus, rest and growth for you. You're going to start to see just like I said with my example, you're going to start to see an increase in your energy. You're going to start to see an increase in your energy. You're going to start to see a change in your mood. You're going to start to see a change in the way that you treat yourself, the way that you treat others, and it all starts with building your day around what actually matters to you.

Teresa: 28:00

Maybe you work in an industry that is polar opposite of what you wish you were doing, work in an industry that is polar opposite of what you wish you were doing. So you're saying to me, teresa, I can't build my day around what matters to me, because what matters to me is art and beauty, and photography, or painting or knitting or sewing or whatever it is fill in the blank. But at work, I crunch numbers all day long. That's what I do. I do spreadsheets, I do this, I do that. So how am I supposed to build my day about what actually matters to me when my nine to five job is something that doesn't really matter to me? And my answer to you is to really look for pockets of time where you can insert things that actually matter to you. Maybe it's in the morning, maybe it's in the afternoon, but finding somewhere where you can work in things that matter to you so that your brain is like, okay, I can push through this project, I can push through the next two hours because in two hours I'm going to take a break and I'm going to go sit in my car and I'm going to knit for 15 minutes. Whatever it is, we got to start building our day around what actually matters to us, so that we can make space for focus, rest and growth.

Teresa: 29:24

Okay, so let's talk about urgent versus important. So not everything that screams for your attention deserves your attention. Prioritizing important but not urgent tasks will help prevent chaos before it starts. So important but not urgent tasks are things like annual checkups, a monthly visit to the spa, time out with girlfriends, time to go sit at the park and read a book. It can also look like time away on vacation. So these things are important because they provide you peace and they refuel you, but they aren't urgent. They aren't like I have to do it now or I'm going to fall apart.

Teresa: 30:20

It can turn that way if we do not start prioritizing what is important first, because if we push it to the back burner for too long which is what we do, because we tend to give our attention to what is screaming the loudest and when something isn't screaming the loudest, it will get put on the back burner. So that means that we are often putting ourselves, our self-care, our self-love, our hopes, our dreams, our desires on the back burner because they aren't screaming the loudest. So in order to avoid chaos in the future, we need to start prioritizing those important things before they become urgent things. So we need to prioritize quiet time alone. We need to prioritize our morning routine. We need to prioritize our morning routine. We need to prioritize our physical health, because I don't want you to wake up in a hospital bed or, like my friend, jay Jackson, on our previous episode, said, he ended up naked on a shower floor in the gym. Okay, I don't want that to be you.

Teresa: 31:41

And the way that we avoid that is by prioritizing the things that are important to our mental, physical, spiritual, financial and social well-being before they become urgent and we are saying, oh my gosh, I have to get out of here before I lose it, I have to go on vacation, I have to get away from these kids. We have to start prioritizing what is important to us before it becomes urgent. Let me know what is important to you. Do you know what is important to you? If you don't know what is important to you, I want to encourage you to start there. What are the things that are most important to you? For me, my spiritual, social and relational health are most important Financial, spiritual, relational, emotional and physical. Which is the five right? Those are the most important things to me. So if I am doing well physically and emotionally, then I can make sure that I'm doing well socially. Am I doing well in my relationships? Am I doing well financially? And if all of those are okay, then I am okay. But the way that I keep those okay is by prioritizing those things.

Teresa: 33:03

I love spending time with friends and sometimes I do it to the detriment of my sleep. Yes, gildia's charged, I will do it to the detriment of my sleep. I know that I need a certain number of hours of sleep to function properly. Sometimes I will go against my own preaching. I don't practice what I preach all the time, but I know that I value, I hold important my physical and emotional well-being. If I am not getting enough sleep, my emotional and physical well-being are going to be in the toilet. They're going to be awful. So it might mean that I have to say no to some friends. Might mean that I have to say no to some fun, so that I can prioritize my sleep, so that I am prioritizing my health and my well-being well-being Okay.

Teresa: 34:09

So let's talk about the start. Stop. Keep exercise. This is something that I would like to invite you to explore. It's an easy what will support my mental, physical health today? What's one thing that I can do that will support my mental or my physical health today? And I want you to start doing that. Try doing it once a day for the next week and see how that feels. One thing a day that will support your physical or your mental health. It doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be long, it doesn't have to be huge. Like I said, it could be as simple as reintegrating brushing your teeth at night into your sleep time routine. Just one small change that will support your mental or your physical health, and try it for the next week.

Teresa: 35:05

The stop is let's stop something that drains you and adds no real value. So what is one thing that you need to stop that drains you and adds no real value to your life? I really want you to think about that. What is something that you are doing that is draining you and does not add value? And try stopping that for the next week. And then the last one is keep what gives me energy or moves me towards my goals. What's one thing that gives you energy or moves you towards your goals? What is it? For me, it's spending time with people. Something that moves me towards my goals is recording or writing or networking writing or networking. So I want to keep something on my schedule that either gives me energy or moves me towards my goals. So I want to encourage you to try to start something new, even if it's just for five to 10 minutes a day in the morning afternoon, whatever works for you a day in the morning afternoon, whatever works for you. Try stopping something that is draining you and adding no value to your life, and try keeping something on the calendar each day, even if it is just for five or ten minutes, that is going to give you energy or move you towards your goals.

Teresa: 36:38

Okay, so let's move on to systems that support you, not trap you. You need systems, but you don't need more control or rigidity. Today, in this part of chaos to clarity, we're exploring how to create supportive systems that simplify your life instead of suffocating you. We are going to talk about why most productivity systems fail high stress professionals, the three questions to ask before building any system, and how to create simple rhythms that reduce decision fatigue and increase peace. So this isn't about hustle, it's about healing, all right. So let's talk about what makes a supportive system A good system doesn't feel like a cage, it feels like a net.

Teresa: 37:36

It feels like a net, so you should be able to move around in it. Imagine a net underwater, right? It flows with the water, it is bendable, it is adjustable, it comes and goes with you. It just moves with you, right? So a good system is adjustable, it is flexible and it can allow for movement. On the other hand, a cage is a hard surfaced box that is not bendable, is not pliable and is just going to keep you stuck. So we want to make sure that we are creating a system that is a net For high stress fields. Systems should create sustainability, stability and not more pressure. Okay, so our system should help you feel more stable mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually. Okay, we're looking for stability, not more pressure.

Teresa: 38:44

A perfect example of a simple system that creates stability and is flexible and allows for movement is a two-step debrief that you can do. At the end of the day, this looks like asking yourself what went well and what didn't work today. So it is going to help you really untangle what went well today that's a mouthful and what did not work today, so that tomorrow you take those lessons and you say, okay, what went well? I got up early, earlier than I normally do, I was able to get some breakfast, I wasn't rushed out the door, and so that set me on the right foot as soon as I hit the hospital doors. What went wrong today? I wore the wrong shoes. What went wrong today? I wore the wrong shoes. I took the elevator that is the slowest and I ended up having to run up the stairs, so now I have a blister. Okay, so we know what went right. We woke up a little bit early and it put us on the right foot for the day. However, we now know not to wear those shoes to work ever again, because we got a big old fat blister. So we can use those lessons as a way to help us see the good and the places for growth in our day. That is a simple system that can help create stability and not pressure, because it's not coming from a judgment, a place of judgment, it is literally, what did I do right today and where could I improve? And so I want to encourage you to find your own system that doesn't feel controlling, doesn't feel rigid, but allows for movement and growth.

Teresa: 40:36

So why do systems fail? Number one they are too complex. So, with the two-step debrief that I was talking about, a complex system for doing that would be okay. Let me log every fail, let me log every win. Let me keep a journal all day long. Let me make sure that I know exactly when I hit the snooze button, exactly when I didn't hit the snooze button this week. Let me track my number of steps from the car to the elevator, because I don't want to have to use the one that's broken. I want to make sure that I can catch the good elevator that is going to fail because it is going to get overwhelming. It is way too overwhelming, so we need to keep it simple. I'm sure your heart started racing and you started to feel a little panic when I was going through that scenario, but when you think of it as okay, all I got to do is check in with myself at the end of the day what went well? What can we improve on? Can you see the difference between the over complex system and the really simplified one.

Teresa: 41:48

Okay, another reason systems fail is because they are built for ideal days and not real days and not real days. So my system for eating is I eat every two and a half to three hours. My dietician and I actually laid out exact times when I am supposed to eat. Some days I wake up earlier than I'm supposed to. Some days I wake up later. Some days I wake up right on time. All of that is going to change when I am going to eat, because my day is starting at a different time. So a rigid system is going to say you have to wake up at 6 am every day so that you are eating breakfast at 7, so that you can have a snack. At 10, so that you can have a snack at 12 30 so that you can have another snack. At 330, so that you can eat dinner at 530, so that you can have your last snack at 8 pm and then you can be in bed by 8. That is a really rigid plan and, yes, it is my plan for an ideal day. But we also have a plan that is for real days, which is just try to have a small snack or meal every two and a half to three hours. See how much more simple that is. It takes the stress out of it. So we need to make systems that are for real days and not ideal days. Keep it simple and make it real.

Teresa: 43:22

Number three is the third reason systems often fail is because they are more focused on tracking than transformation. So let's stop trying to track every step, every meal, every bite. Let's stop trying to track every mess up, every win, every little thing. We're not trying to do that. We are trying to get a general idea of where we need to make changes, where things went well, where things went right. So stop trying to track everything and instead let's focus more on the transformation. Okay, I set a goal this week to wake up 10 minutes early at least four days a week. I did it too. Woohoo, last week I didn't do any. Okay. So let's stop trying to track so much and instead let's focus on the transformation.

Teresa: 44:26

Another reason systems fail is because it feels too big. It just feels too big and we give up. So, as I always say, small changes, big impact. Remember that. Stop trying to change your world overnight. We've got to take small, incremental changes, and your system should be the same. It should be small, incremental changes that you can make, not over complex, not built for the perfect days, and it needs to be more focused on transformation than tracking.

Teresa: 45:04

Okay, so three questions before you build a system. Number one what outcome do I want from this? What outcome do you want from this? What is your goal for creating this system? Is it to be more mindful? Is it to get a better understanding of my behavior? Is it to understand where I can make changes? What is your desired outcome? Number two is what's the bare minimum version of this system? Start there, whatever the bare minimum is, I recently had a client who wanted to cut back on their Zen pouches, the little tobacco pouches, and so I said what is your desired outcome? I want to feel better, I want to breathe better and I don't want to have that head high all the time. Okay, so let's create a plan, let's create a system.

Teresa: 46:03

And he started out with okay, I'm going to track it in my notes app. I'm going to keep track of every single time I put a pouch in so that I know exactly how many pouches I'm using every day, and it's not my job to force anybody to do anything. So I said, okay, we can give it a try, but I would suggest something a little simpler, like maybe just putting a one like somewhere, just a tally somewhere, that way you're not having to pull out your phone and keep track of it. But he opted for the notes, so we did the notes. After two weeks he said I am not doing a good job of tracking it on my notes. So instead he ordered a marker that he is able to just make a tally somewhere where he can see it, somewhere that is really accessible to him. He does not have to go out of his way to track the number of pouches that he is using. And so far he has been successful at tracking his pouches, which is great, because before he wasn't able to do it for longer than a day or two.

Teresa: 47:12

So what is the bare minimum of this system that you can do? And start there? Number three the third question you want to ask before you start building a system is when am I currently losing time? Energy or peace, because that is what you are going to want to focus your system on. For my client, zen, pouches were stealing his energy and his peace because he didn't feel well, and so when we started creating a system, it was really about tackling the Zen pouch usage so that he could get back his time or his energy and his peace. So where are you currently losing your time, your energy and your peace? Okay, so let's talk about supportive systems.

Teresa: 48:14

There are a few different options out there. I like the five-minute reset because you can literally do it anywhere. You can do it in the garage before you walk in the house. I do it by laying on the floor in the living room, but I'd like to do it anytime I am shifting gears from one thing to another, if I am shifting projects, if I am shifting locations, if I'm going from speaking on a stage to then coaching with someone. I want to take five minutes to reset, and for me, a reset looks like laying on the floor in complete silence, sitting on the couch with my eyes closed, sitting in a chair and just breathing. For you, a five minute reset might mean going for a quick walk, it might mean getting a fresh cup of tea, it might mean getting a drink of water and stretching, but whatever it is, we need to have a five-minute reset if this is the supportive system that you like, where we are allowing ourselves to calm down and reset whenever we are switching tasks.

Teresa: 49:20

Another idea for a supportive system is themed days. So this is something that I actually coach some of my team members on and I say, okay, on Mondays you do admin, on Fridays you do follow-ups. On Wednesdays you do site visits. What does that look like for you? It allows you to focus very specific time on very specific tasks so that you don't feel overwhelmed all the time. Remember, we're going from chaos to clarity and so by having themed days, you know that every day or every week, on Wednesday you are going to go out and do your travel for the week, or every day on Monday, you are going to sit down and answer all of those emails from the week before that you didn't quite have time to get to, because Monday is your admin Monday. You can have a follow-up Friday where you follow up on all the emails that you sent on Monday to see if people responded and, if they haven't, to remind them to respond. But having themed days can help you clear the clutter and go from chaos to clarity.

Teresa: 50:36

Another supportive system option is color-coded calendar blocks for mental space, not just meetings. I like to call this white space on the calendar. In my calendar app it is literally white spaces, and that is mental space. That is where I have my five-minute resets, that is where I have stretching and yoga. That is where I have go five minute resets. That is where I have stretching and yoga. That is where I have go out for a small walk, go put your feet in the grass, something. But we need to be putting some time for mental space on our calendars, otherwise, you're going to get to the end of the day and realize that you've been in front of a screen, whether the tiny one on your phone or the one on your computer, for eight hours straight. So we need to make sure that we are putting that time on the calendar too. And the only way it comes off is blood, fire, blood. If it is not BFF, it does not get the opportunity to move your white space off of your calendar.

Teresa: 51:40

Okay, so let's move on to burnout proof routines. Start and end your day with purpose. So in this section, we're going to talk about creating routines that are restorative, not restrictive. We are going to talk about one five-minute morning routine, one five-minute morning practice that can lower stress all day, goodness y'all. And the key question to ask before bed to improve mental clarity you deserve to wake up calm and without guilt. Yeah, you deserve to wake up calm and you deserve to go to bed without guilt.

Teresa: 52:29

Okay, so let's jump in. Why are your routines draining you? Routines shouldn't feel like a to-do list. They should support your nervous system. So if you are dreading your nighttime routine of doing the dishes and then washing your face and then doing the skincare routine and then putting lotion on your feet and then putting lotion on your hands, if all of that is draining you, let's simplify it. Take it back down to the bare bones. What is absolutely necessary? You definitely need to brush your teeth, definitely need to wash your face, definitely need to moisturize, but is anything else very, very, very necessary, or is it just draining you? Could you pay one of your kids to do the dishes? Could you let the dishes pile up? I know, I know, come for me, come for me. I know I'm horrible, but there are days of the week when you come over to my house and I have a sink full of dishes Because, guess what? I did not want to do dishes the day before and I am not going to do something that is going to drain me towards the end of the night. So, remember, your routines should feel should not feel like a to-do list. They should support your nervous system. They should truly help you start to wind down, not leave you feeling exhausted or guilty.

Teresa: 53:54

If your mornings feel rushed or your nights feel like crash landings, that's a sign that you need a shift in your routine. So morning routine principles Keep it short, grounding and realistic. Okay, so it needs to bring you back to reality, because when you wake up in the morning, you've been in dreamland. It needs to be short, because we're all human when we all have a lot of things going on, so we don't want to lollygag in the morning doing all kinds of things. Something short, something grounding, something realistic. So for me it is literally wake up, read the Bible app verse of the day, because if I have to do an entire Bible study first thing in the morning, I am literally going to fall back asleep because my brain cannot function like that that early in the morning. So for me, I read the Bible verse of the day. It's usually just one, two, three lines, four max. And then I get up, I brush my teeth, I wash my face, I go to the kitchen, I make my mushroom coffee. Like very small actions, not a big, huge routine. Right, it is very small action. So it should be short, realistic and it should ground you. Okay, if you need help walking through what that means, let me know, drop it in the comments or shoot me a message. My contact information is always in the show notes.

Teresa: 55:31

So let's have one anchor activity and it is better to have one anchor activity than a checklist. Okay, so one anchor activity can be breath work, hydration, stretching or a minute of setting your intention for the day. So, like I said, when I wake up I read the Bible verse. I say God, let your will be done in my life today. That's it. That's it. That is my Bible time, prayer time with God in the morning. That is it. I do a little bit more in the evening, but in the morning that is it, because if it is more I will not do it. I know I will not do it. I know myself well enough to know that I won't do it. I do keep a cup of water by my bed so that as soon as I am done with my Bible verse and my short little prayer. I take a drink of water, because that gets everything moving. That gets everything going. It tells your body that it's time to wake up. But I invite you to choose one, one anchor activity. Just choose one and start adding it into your morning, because you're going to get better clarity than if you wake up and you're like, okay, all right, I'm awake, I got to read my Bible, I got to go sit outside and have coffee on my patio. You know all the things. No, let's have one anchor activity. Start small y'all. Remember small changes, big impact.

Teresa: 57:02

I want to invite you to also have a evening routine. Some of my tips for evening routine is focus on decompression, not productivity. So I am very productive in the evenings. However, once the clock hits a certain time, I'm done. I'm done and it is time to start unwinding and decompressing, and I want to invite you to do the same thing. Find an evening routine that isn't about productivity, it's not about working more, it's not about checking things off of the list, but it is about unwinding and decompressing and things that actually feel good, not just doom scrolling.

Teresa: 57:46

Ask yourself what do I need to feel complete today? That is a great evening routine. Do you need to go on a short walk to feel complete today. That is a great evening routine. Do you need to go on a short walk to feel complete today? Do you need to call a friend or a family member? What do you need in the evening to help you feel completed for the day?

Teresa: 58:08

Another one is try a phone-free wind down zone. I know, don't come for me, but it can help. Turn off the phone, flip it upside down, put it on, do not disturb, do the app blocker whatever you gotta do, but try it. See if it works for you. You might love it. You might pick up a book that you've been trying to read for a year and a half. You might find time to pick up the hobby that you let fall to the wayside. But try a phone-free wind-down zone this week.

Teresa: 58:44

Another one that you could do is a brain dump journal to clear the mental clutter. So literally all those thoughts that we were talking about that are just bouncing around in your head. Put them down on paper. They don't have to be in any pretty order, they don't have to even be on the lines. Just start jotting them down. That way tomorrow, when you're fresh and you're ready to go, you can say, oh, I wrote down all that stuff that I was thinking about. Let me go see if there's anything that I actually need to do.

Teresa: 59:12

Okay, so my burnout proof formula is in the mornings, create calm by choosing one anchor habit. Remember, we talked about anchor habits being short grounding, and what was the other thing? Realistic Again, sorry guys, I'm tired. Realistic Again, sorry guys, I'm tired. Short grounding, realistic Choose one, just one. Let's just start with one. Whether it's drinking water, stretching a quick prayer, whatever it is, just choose one anchor habit that is going to create calm in your morning when you first wake up In the evening, release pressure. So choose one decompression habit. It's not about being perfect, it's about being present. So find something that allows you to be present with yourself, with your family, and use that to decompress rather than be productive or crash and burn like a crash landing in the evening.

Teresa: 1:00:17

Okay, so let's wrap it up with talking about designing your weekly reset, how to stay ahead of the overwhelm. Chaos doesn't start on Monday, it starts when we don't reset. So now we're going to wrap it up by talking about why your week feels like a blur even when it's productive, what to include in your 30-minute weekly reset and the mindset shift that keeps your routines working without perfection. Don't just plan reset with intention. Let's put clarity on repeat, okay. So why weekly resets matter?

Teresa: 1:01:04

Weekly resets matter because life is unpredictable, especially if you are a caregiver, a healthcare worker, a business professional, whatever. If you have a high demand job or you are a stay-at-home mom or you are in a crisis-driven profession, life is going to be unpredictable. So we need to have a weekly reset routine. Weekly reset routine. Another reason that they are important is because a reset system gives you back control without perfectionism. So when we take the time to reset, we are allowing ourselves to take back control without perfectionism. Our weekly reset is also a course correction, not a punishment. So it allows us time to reflect on what went well and what didn't, and not punish ourselves, but using it as a learning opportunity to know where to go next.

Teresa: 1:02:11

So what should you include in your weekly reset? Okay, so I want you to reflect on what drained you and what fueled you this week. Number two is review. What's coming up? What deserves my time and energy? Can I delegate something? Can I say no to something? Can I reschedule something?

Teresa: 1:02:36

The third part of your weekly reset is to reorganize. Reset your space, clear out the email, clear off the desk, clear out your car, redo your calendar if you have a dry erase calendar or put everything into your calendar, right. But the idea is to reorganize your life before the new week starts and the last one is replenish. So choose one self-care act for the week ahead. Make sure that you put it on the calendar. How are you going to replenish yourself next week?

Teresa: 1:03:16

So this weekly reset is really good to do on, like a Sunday afternoon or if you whatever your quote unquote Sunday is If you work Thursday through Sunday, so you're off on Monday and then you go back in on Thursday, then Wednesday would be your Sunday, right? So Wednesday would be the day that you would want to do this weekly reset. Regardless of what day you do it, you need to be doing it before your week starts, day before evening, before morning, before whatever and then you're going to reflect, see what drained you this week and what fueled you. Try to do more of what fueled you and less of what drained you, because, remember, we're doing something that refueled us, we're stopping something that drained us and we're keeping something that moves us towards our goals, and then we are going to review what's coming up, what deserves my time, what can I delegate? Reorganize your space and then choose one thing to replenish yourself next week and put it on the calendar. All right. So the mindset shift has to go from don't aim for getting ahead, aim for getting grounded Resets. Give your nervous system a chance to feel safe again. It is a fresh start. It is an opportunity to say, okay, this is what went wrong, this is what went right and this is how we're going to move forward.

Teresa: 1:04:52

What's one thing you'd love to include in your weekly reset? Drop it in the comments. I'd love to hear from you. Drop the word reset and share your favorite ritual. What did you like? What would you like to try? And if this series has helped you to create structure without stress, let me know so I can keep building tools like this. I really hope you enjoyed it. And until tomorrow well, not tomorrow, next week, until next week, be well, be kind, and may you find some joy this week. Bye.