Reimagining Your Self-Care to Meet This Moment

The Importance of Self Care That Actually Works

In this episode of the Needy Podcast, I return after a year-long hiatus to discuss the essence of self-care that truly supports individual needs. I talk about my upcoming free workshop titled 'Self Care That Actually Works' scheduled for September 25th. 

I differentiate my approach to self-care from the prescriptive methods often sold online, emphasizing the need for responsive and present self-care practices. I share my personal journey of developing a self-care routine that helps me meet life's demands in a sustainable way, such as waking up early to watch the sunrise and engaging in varied physical activities. 

The discussion highlights the importance of creating routines that are adaptable to one's current emotional and physical state, ultimately aiming to provide a framework for showing up fully and compassionately for oneself.

00:00 Welcome Back to the Needy Podcast

01:46 Introducing the Self-Care Workshop

02:31 Redefining Self-Care

03:56 The Importance of Responsive Self-Care

06:18 Personal Self-Care Practices

10:42 Creating a Routine That Works

15:09 The Why Behind My Self-Care Routine

20:16 Final Thoughts and Workshop Invitation

You can't stay on your own side if you don't know what your needs are in the first place. Tend is a 12-week season where you'll learn to notice and name your needs, build unshakeable trust that they're legitimate, and stay by your own side, even when everything in you wants to self-abandon. 

Spring cohort starts March 27, doors close March 20—join me at maraglatz

Transcript

Mara Glatzel 1:38

Hey there, it's your host, Mara Glatzel, and you are listening to the Needy Podcast. Here at Needy, we are devoted to sharing frank conversations and true stories about what it means to meet your needs consistently, messily, and sustainably. To get more information about today's episode, please visit the needy podcast. com now onto today's show. Hello. Hello. Welcome back at long last to the needy podcast. This is me, your host Mara Glatzel, and I am coming to you live after a year ish year And I will save the story of why I went away and why I'm back for a future podcast episode, but needless to say, I am really excited to be here with all of you again. I have been noticing over the last month and a half, that I really desire to be back in this space, really desire to be spending time with you here in this space. And so for those of you who are still tuning in, those of you who have found my podcast in the interim, fallen in love with my podcast in the interim, those of you who are still subscribing to the Needy Podcast, welcome back. I am so excited to be here with all of you today. Today I wanted to talk about a topic that is very near and dear to my heart because I'm in the process of working up a free workshop. So at the time of recording this, it's a week from today. It's Wednesday, September 25th. The workshop is called self care that actually works. And so I've been spending a lot of time both really thinking about what I could offer, what I could teach in this free workshop, what I'm known for. And I wanted to call it a million different things. And every time somebody would say, okay what's that about? It's self care that actually works. That's what I teach is self care that actually works. By which I mean self care that you are able to do, to complete, to offer yourself, to nourish yourself with self care that meets you in the moment. And, Lifts you up, comforts you, nourishes you, whatever it is that you might be aching for at the time that you are needing it. And what I don't mean is the way that self care is so often sold to us. And if you've been here at this podcast for any amount of time, good and well that, how I feel about the self care industry and how I differentiate my work from the self care that is so typically offered to us or sold to us. And if you're joining me for the first time, I'll simply say that much of the self care that's bandied about the internet is prescriptive. Do this and you'll feel better. Try these things. Here's a 10 step plan to heal your cortisol. To Become more flexible, to be a more patient parent, whatever the case may be. Whatever it is that you want, what you're hoping to get out of that care. And it's not that there's not good ideas baked into so much of what is offered. It's the way that it's offered. Do this and you will get X thing. And the care that I profess, you will get X. Teach, subscribe to personally, is care that's responsive, care that is responsive to who you are in this moment, to what you need in this moment, and perhaps most importantly but I haven't really discussed it too much in the past, publicly, what you need to meet This season of your life, what you need in order to feel as whole, as strong, as well nourished as possible to meet this season in your life. Being a human being at this time on the planet requires a lot of capacity. There is infinitely more that requires your attention and your participation on a daily basis than you likely have capacity to offer. And does that mean you have to do more and do everything? No. But when I know about you and I also know about myself is that we're caring individuals. We are here to contribute to the world in big and small ways. And all of those ways are important. And if we care about what we contribute, If we have projects, people, relationships that we want to pour ourselves into, we must care about ourselves, first and foremost, because we are the vessel for all of that effort. And this is where my people The over givers, the over functioners amongst us. My sweet friends who care so much about the world around them and also who perhaps were socialized to put everyone else ahead of themselves. This is where we get really tripped up. Because we're trying to do such big and beautiful and powerful work in the world without ever pausing to consider, what do I need in order to do this well? Which doesn't mean what do I need in order to do this perfectly? I know where you're going with that. It's not about perfection, it's about presence. What do I need, personally, to be here? So as I've been working on this workshop, and I do hope that if you're listening and you're thinking that it sounds amazing, it is going to be a very good time. You can join us, find a, you can find the link at maraglatzel. com forward slash workshop. You can find me on social media. I'm talking about it a lot. As I've been working on this workshop, I've been thinking about what's been working for me. Lately, and lately, I, I'm gonna say lately, it's really been a shift over maybe the last two and a half to three years, but I've really felt the need to dive back into it in a big way because I've needed it in the immediate last month or so. Yeah. And. I just think this is such an important way to think about self care. It's so resonant for all of the clients that I've shared it with, that I wanted to hop on here and record you a podcast. It was worth coming back from a year and a half hiatus to share just this episode with you. Although, I think there'll be a few more. So often we see self care as how we care for our bodies, how we care for our mental health, how we care for ourselves, the kind of like beautiful and easy and wonderful things that we do to take good care. of ourselves to nourish our spirit, to nourish our creativity, to nourish our sense of play. And I love all of that. I'm not against that kind of self care certainly, but what I've been thinking about lately is less of that and more of really taking a look at what is on our plate at the moment. And asking ourselves, what do I need in order to meet this well, so instead of this kind of these blanket like menus of these are the things that I need as a person in general to feel well, or, during this season of the year or during this part of my menstrual cycle, or, the many different ways to conceive of self care that we have available to us. And I like to think about all those things. But for this conversation, what I'm specifically thinking about is when you have a lot going on that you are truly devoted to, when you have a lot on your plate, when you are really excited, about something. The self care becomes what do I need to meet this moment, this project, this idea, this growth edge, this new iteration, this phase of my life, this season. And the plan that you make for yourself is not just plucked out of thin air, but it is intricately created to meet you in this moment. So that's the broad framework, right? And each of us is going to have different things that are happening to us in this moment. And so therefore each of us might need a different kind of recipe for what that care looks like. Maybe you need. It's a higher therapist. Maybe you need to have regular conversations with a friend or a sibling. Maybe you need to get outside and walk every day. Maybe you need to double down on your supplements or make sure that you are feeding yourself well, or you're eating your breakfast before you drink your coffee. It could mean so many different things. But I want to invite you to not think broadly because this is where we burn ourselves out when we start to think Oh, okay, you know what I need? is a 74 point plan. This moment, this is a big moment. So what I need is a big plan. That meeting the moment, if the moment's big, is with like your big guns. And Not only is that not going to happen, it's also going to disempower you. Tank that moment. Potentially tank that moment, right? Because now you have this evidence that you're not somebody who follows through, you're not somebody who shows up for yourself, all of the things that you, frankly, do not need. In a big moment. So for me right now, I I am in a season of visibility in my business. I'm showing up here on the podcast, showing up on social media again. Really a season of visibility in my work at. Large I'm in the process of getting ready to relaunch my year long program, Roost and I'm devoting myself to standing behind my work in a way that I haven't for a period of time. And I'm not here to litigate what happened there or why I did or why I didn't. Because it doesn't feel bad. What it feels like is, I have a desire to do it differently right now. I have a desire to show up for my work and also for the power of my work. I have an understanding that this is a challenging time to be a person on this planet. And there have been a lot of challenging times over the last 10 years that I have been doing this work with people. And I know for sure that my work is supportive and nourishing during those times. And so I feel called to show up for it in a bigger way. So that's a why let's get to the what. So what I have been doing, what my self care has been is I've been getting up five days a week before my kids. This is not something I was ever successful in doing before, so it's almost laughable, but I've been getting up before my kids, and going outside to watch the sunrise. And, of course, as the seasons shift, that is, the timing is in flux, but I've been trying to get outside, see the sunrise, look at the changes that are happening in my garden around my house. Be immersed in nature, get the light of that sunrise in my eyes, and then move my body. And there are no rules for what I quote unquote have to do to move my body, just that I do something that I feel called to and that feels right for me in the moment. Typically that looks like Doing a lot of jumping on my trampoline to some Chapel Rowan, or maybe it's stretching. I've been listening to Fourth Wing while I do yoga. That's been very delicious. Doing some weightlifting. That's been really amazing. The thing doesn't really matter because it changes from day to day, but the care itself is that care container. In Roost, we talk a lot about care containers, and that is a period of time where there's a definitive beginning and an end, and during that container, the express intention is to show up for yourself fully. and responsibly to what is there and do something, offer something to yourself that feels good in a very present way. Not about phoning it in and saying okay, write in your journal or, okay take a bath, whatever it is, that is your kind of automatic go to, but instead it's about tuning into yourself in the moment. If I wake up in the morning and I'm really sore. Then, even if I had planned a certain kind of workout for the next day, that's going to shift because of how my body feels. Or if I wake up and I have really bad cramps, or I'm really tired, or I'm really dehydrated, that's going to look different. If I wake up with a lot of anxiety, a very full emotional cup, That I need a lot of stress that I need to pour out, then my movement is going to be a lot more dynamic because it is responsive to how I feel in the moment. So now we have a few layers of responsiveness, right? My acknowledgement, hey, this is a time in my life where I really need myself. where I really need the structure and the accountability of a routine. And I'm going to make that routine as humane and responsive as possible, but there's going to be a routine. So that's the first level. Second level is that what happens within the container is responsive. So yes, I'm going to show up. My alarm's going to go off. I'm going to go outside, but then how I move my body is responsive to how I feel. But let's talk about the why, because the why here is really important. So quite simply, when I wake up in the morning, I feel like, not always, but many days, especially when there's a lot that I am holding or contending with or trying to figure out on a daily basis. I feel like I am a pantry that a gaggle of raccoons has gone through in the night. And, things are pulled out, things are spilling on the floor, things are all mixed up, everything's all askew, cattywampus all over the shelves. And, I could, and I for sure have gone into my day as that pantry that has been rifled through where everything is in disarray. Everything is turned over and messed up and all that, right? I have been that person many times in my life. But I don't want to be that person right now because I realized that when I head into my day like that Everything is harder. Making decisions in my business is harder. Being present and patient with my kids is harder. Being borderline emotionally regulated in my relationships is harder, right? Everything is more challenging. When I am just like, rifled through and askew, emotionally. And when I thought about designing this self care experiment that I'm working with right now, because it is an experiment, this isn't an all or nothing thing, I'm not committing to waking up at 6am for the rest of my life, certainly not. But, I have committed to doing, to experimenting with showing up for myself in this way during this season. And that's because Showing up for myself in this way is one thing that I can do, that I know I can do. will put that pantry back together, writing all of the little ingredients, making sure everything's tucked in organizing it so that then I head into my day with everything straight, with everything together, with everything organized. Now, that doesn't mean my day is perfect. It's not going to be. That doesn't mean there's nothing else that's stressful that lands on my plate 100 percent it will. But in fact, it is an acknowledgement of those things, and my own desire to be as robust as possible when I encounter what inevitably Is coming my way, is coming all of our ways, every day, with as much internal capacity as possible. This self care isn't about looking good or performing well. It's not a productivity hack or a biohack or Something to specifically better me in any direction. This is an experiment in giving myself the best possible chance To have as much capacity and as much maneuverability inside of my own headspace as possible. Because here's what I know. The fall can be a tricky time. It's a busy time. It's really easy for me to lose my focus. It is really easy for me to abandon myself mentally and emotionally. Which means saying, ah, good enough. When it's not, right? And I don't mean that perfectionistically. I mean that truthfully. When there are things that I care about that require me to show up in this season and I bag on them because I'm not focused enough. I'm not present enough. I'm like scrambled eggs. I'm all over the place. I'm that rifled through pantry. And in this way, Self care becomes a tool in my relationship with myself. It becomes a method for showing up well, for showing up sustainably. It means that I'm not an afterthought in my own planning. That the plan that I have in front of me Does it require me to extract from or exploit myself in order to accomplish it that I am able to take myself and my needs, both physical, mental, emotional, spiritual needs into consideration when I'm organizing myself to think about how I want to approach what's on my plate right now. And so that's where my mind's been. That's where my mind's been. And it has felt really good. It has felt like a big difference. It's felt like coming alive after a long time of being burnt out. It's felt like coming back into my body after a long time of like finding my way back to myself. And I think this is why the timeliness of the approach is so important to me because we can't just say, okay, this X, Y, and Z little ritual works, I'm going to, put it on a shelf and it's perfect forever. How you care for yourself matters that you're willing to be present with yourself, with your actual self right now, with your desires and your limitations and your frustrations your physical needs and everything on the table. And, I think we all know what it feels like to be an afterthought, right? To have somebody just like checking off the boxes and not really being attentive or attuned to us or to a relationship with us. And so I don't like that. I'm sure you don't like that either. How does that feel? It feels terrible. It feels like you're bored and you're phoning it in and I don't matter to you. So when we're thinking about building a relationship with ourselves and we're thinking about approaching ourselves from this perspective, we're really thinking about what can I offer myself to help me meet this moment to help me meet this moment sustainably, to help me be here now. What do I need in the present moment to be here as a person? robustly and beautifully and fully as possible. So that's what I've been thinking about. And if that interests you, if you want to know more about that or how to create such a plan for yourself, I hope that you'll join me for my free workshop, self care that actually works on Wednesday, the 25th. It's going to be a great time. You can find out more about it at marglatzel. com forward slash workshop. All right. Talk to you soon. Not sure when, but soon for sure. There's plenty more to say. Bye.