49: From Holding It All In to Finally Letting Go: A Conversation with My 1:1 Client Denita Acker

In this episode, I’m joined by my 1:1 client Denita Acker for a conversation about what shifted when she stopped living in her head, and started listening to her body.

Denita lives and works in Washington D.C., in a fast-paced, high-performance environment. She had already worked with mindset coaches and understood the power of thought, but something deeper was calling to her while processing a break-up.  That experience led her to explore feminine embodiment coaching.

In this conversation, Denita shares what she began to notice as she dropped into her body: tightness in her chest, her jaw, her shoulders, and how learning to meet herself in those moments of tension slowly created a new kind of internal safety.

We talk about how this practice has helped her stop spiraling when things feel out of control, how she’s learned to name and trust her desires, and what it means to feel safe without needing to prove anything.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:

• What drew Denita to embodiment work 
• How she began noticing chronic physical tension, and what she did with that awareness
• How she now responds to challenge, emotion, and uncertainty from a more grounded place
• What she discovered about softness, safety, and the parts of herself she hadn’t known how to access before

Key Reflections from Denita’s Story:

• Internal safety shows up in the small moments
• Learning to feel again (after years of holding tension) requires vulnerability and presence
• The practices she worked with in between sessions were a huge part of what supported her deeper change
• Desire, for her, wasn’t just about naming what she wanted, it was about believing she was allowed to want it at all

Key Quotes:

“The biggest shift that I noticed is that I came home to myself. It's like I belong. I still get emotional when I share that." - Denita Acker

“You can’t intellectualize your way into a life of freedom. You have to feel it in your body.” -Tertia Riegler

“When I'm in control of myself, I don't need to control the world around me and I can connect better.  I'm more connected because I don't need to control." - Denita Acker

📩 Join the conversation:

• DM me your biggest insight! https://www.instagram.com/tertia_riegler_embodiment/
• Email me via my website https://tertiariegler.com/contact/

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Transcript

Tertia [00:00:00]:
So, Denita, welcome, and I'm so happy to have you here. Do you want to kick us off just by telling us a little bit about who you are, what you do, and what your world looks like right now?

Danita Acker [00:00:11]:
Yes. So, so happy to be here. Thank you, Tertia, for having me. My name is Denita Acker. I live in the east coast of the United States. I'm. I. I work in Washington, D.C. i work at a. In the legal field, and I do project management. I really enjoy my work. I enjoy my colleagues. I enjoy the organization I'm working with and for. Live in an area, you know, Northern Virginia, D.C. maryland, area that attracts highly committed people, driven and very passionate and people who, myself included. You really believe that your mandate in the world is to change the world. And people do, for better or for worse, however you want to think about it. But with that comes a degree of driveness that can be both compelling, but it can also put you out of balance in terms of your. Your being, you know, in terms of coming across as operating more from the cognitive space as opposed to the heart space. So, yeah, that's me. And I'm delighted that I've had the opportunity to coach, get your coaching, because it has. It's made a permanent shift inside of me. So. Yeah.

Tertia [00:01:15]:
Oh, you know, that's the, that's the kind of feedback that, that we love to hear, not because of us as coaches, but like you said, we the type of people that want to make a difference in the world, that want to contribute, and to know that something that we participated in has created permanent change in something else for the better is. It's fantastic to hear that. So I want to start right there and ask you back when we started, what was your life like? What was going on for you at the time? And I guess what I'm also interested in is to. To know, like, what is it that finally pushed you into. Because I know I'm not the first coach that you worked with.

Danita Acker [00:01:58]:
Yeah.

Tertia [00:01:58]:
What was the, the thing that pushed you into the feminine embodiment coaching realm?

Danita Acker [00:02:05]:
Yeah, so I, yes, I have received coaching before in a couple years ago in terms of my thinking, how I think and recognizing that I'm not my thoughts. And so that has helped me a lot to, to understand my reality in terms of the thoughts that I'm experiencing and how I interact with the world, but it didn't equip me to understand how I'm showing up, like, what is happening internally for, for me. And, and then how do. And then my response to the environment, it didn't help that particularly. So how I found you was last fall here in the United States, full time. I. I was going for a run and I was processing. The breakup happened like six, seven months before. And I find that when I go for runs, just the effect of hitting the pavement, the bouncing, there's something in that that unlocks deep thoughts and feelings and I'm able to process far more effectively when I run. Now there's other sides about me running too, which is very driven. It moves me forward, it feels like I'm accomplishing. I feel like a champion afterwards. So there's that side too, which is most likely why I do it as well. But during the run, I process how. During my. One of the observations, I felt intuitively in the previous relationship that I was in was that the individual was very disembodied. And I could see that in both them and their. And their mother. And I was processing, fixating. Not fixating, but processing that, like how this individual couldn't be fully present and couldn't be authentic and how I saw that intuitively wanted to break free from that and how disembodied this individual is and how dangerous that is in society because you can't fully show up, you're unbalanced, effectively in society, you're unbalanced, and you can't interpret people correctly, yourself correctly. And as I. When I came back from the run after my shower, I thought, what if I'm thinking about that because it's supposed to come up for me? Am I disembodied? And I don't know why the word embodiment came up. I wasn't reading about it. And other times I believe it came up for a reason. So I looked up embodiment and, you know, I put it in chat. What does embodiment mean? And then. And then from. And I looked in Google. What does embodiment mean? And then I discovered I believe it's individual In Australia somewhere. There was a woman there who does feminine embodiment. And so I read a bit about it, and then I. I discovered you. You were on the top of the list in terms of searches, like one of the top three. Now, I didn't know anything about you, but I looked at your website and read a few articles here and there. And then I did your intake form and I thought, why not? You know? And so, so what I. What drew me to your website was there was softness. And in. In art therapy, which I'm doing, um, they talk about lines that are Flowy or very rigid. And there's two Malumi and Takiti. Those are the two terms. And so what I'm particularly looking for in my life is to go towards flowy. I think it's maluma lines that are more flowy as opposed to rigid. And you. Your website represented that to me. So I did the intake form. I had it. The questions were very thoughtful and I realized she, this individual is worth my time, at least for introductory coaching sessions. I really didn't think we were going to continue because I thought it's a huge time. It's a, it's a money investment. And I don't know. I don't know if I'll like what is. How do I know if it's effective? Like, what if I don't feel anything? Like. So that's how I, that's how I found you. And then we did our first session. I think it was November and. Yeah. The rest is history.

Tertia [00:06:02]:
Right? Yeah. And just picking up on a few things that you, that you said. I've. I find it so beautiful how in that reflection kind of the self awareness. Because I feel to be able to do this kind of embodiment work, there needs to be. There has to be a level of self awareness for us to know what it is that we're experiencing. And the. And with that self awareness also a vulnerability to be honest with ourselves. Like that instance when you were saying, oh, what if I'm thinking about this other person? But it's actually everything that I'm seeing and thinking and feeling. What if this is me?

Danita Acker [00:06:41]:
Yeah.

Tertia [00:06:41]:
I find that's always a good, a good starting point to, to begin to create change in your life is when we had, we have that insight because it comes from. It's an internal insight. Right?

Danita Acker [00:06:53]:
Yeah.

Tertia [00:06:54]:
And what you also said about the money investment and not sure if, if this is going to work. I feel that is so, so valid. Especially because embodiment and feminine embodiment, specifically how I coach Annette. It's quite different to the, the kind of coaching that we are used to. The kind of coaching that's only focused on the steps that you take and the process that you go through and the goals that you, that you set and then the actions that you, that you take towards that goal. So 100% respect and appreciate the fact that you were not sure if this was the way to go. But I'm, I'm so glad. And I'm sure that you're very glad that, that you.

Danita Acker [00:07:37]:
Yes.

Tertia [00:07:38]:
Decided.

Danita Acker [00:07:38]:
I want to make an observation about that I listened to several podcasts while I'm driving or going to work. And one of them was an interview about George Lucas and he and Star wars and how he created Star wars and he's fascinating individual and he talked. And in the interview they commented that one of the things that stood out to him is that he relentlessly invested in himself, whether it's through learning or he discovered other, like, other world, the Asian way philosophy. But you will never be disappointed when you invest in yourself. And it's one of the biggest takeaways that I took from that podcast. Whenever you invest in yourself, even whatever it is, whether it's how you're eating or whatever it is, you always get a return on investment in the long run. So I knew, I knew that the, the, the money investment was an energetic investment. I couldn't tell you what the return on investment is going to be, the outcome, but I know that that energetic input, I am signal around me that I'm willing to grow and, and whatever is around me will respond to that in kind.

Tertia [00:08:40]:
Yeah.

Danita Acker [00:08:41]:
Yeah.

Tertia [00:08:41]:
I love that perspective because as you know, I fully believe that we are constantly in relation to, to the world around us. And it goes more than just, you know, what, what rate you vibrating it. It's really your entire resonance gets reflected back to you in the world and through the people that, that come across your path. So I'm curious, what changed for you in, well, in this work, in the time that we were together. What would you say if there is one thing, maybe there's more than one thing that is different for you now to, than what it was before.

Danita Acker [00:09:23]:
The biggest shift that I noticed is that I came home to myself. It's like I, I belong and I say that and I still get emotional when I share that. I know I got emotional last week as I was sharing that. And I say emotional, like I get really soft inside, like right here, my chest. But yeah, when you come, when I'm, when I'm aware of how I'm safe in myself, I am safe. It doesn't matter where I am, I'm safe. And why that is significant is when I'm, when I'm talking and engaging with you, I really want to listen and learn and receive and engage with you fully. I'm not here to, to be on a show or to impress you or to prove myself. I'm here to be me. Because you talk a lot about resonance in your meditations and I, it, I love that because I have a unique voice as you have a unique voice and your voice is just like your heartbeat is unique to you. And so that's what has helped me the most, is I'm able to understand when I'm out of resonance. So one example I'll give you, that just happened yesterday. I had to write out a project plan and it was really detailed, and I was. I had a headache and I was literally staring at a stream screen with lines and lines and lines and all these questions of the unknown. There's so many unknowns, and I don't have expertise in this area, technical area. That came up. And as I left the office yesterday and I remember exactly where I was, I left the building and I walked out onto K Street, I felt my heart right here on my chest was tightening. And I was aware of it. Before, I would not have been aware of it. And all I did is I breathed in, I looked up and I exhale and I said, you're good, you're fine. And I just started saying, thank you. Thank you that I'm even aware that I have a chest, because I feel afraid. And so as I was experiencing that, I could feel it, hold it and release it. So that is significant.

Tertia [00:11:34]:
Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing that. And I also just want to say that my sense is that because of the work that we've done together, because of that internal safety that we've. That you've created for yourself, the. The fact of you saying I'm safe and being in the experience of it, it landed more truthfully than if you had just said that without the embodied connection.

Danita Acker [00:12:02]:
Yeah. What you're saying is why I think that this work that you're doing is incredibly significant for multiple reasons, not just now, but in general, because we have a felt experience, and from our felt experience, we can learn. That's what learning is, is understanding your experience and making sense of it. And what your type of coaching does help center the human being. What am I feeling like? Oh, I'm not feeling anything. And I remember one time I called you, I left you a WhatsApp message. I was experiencing something and I just wanted feedback. And your response back to me was in one was very compassionate and empathetic and. And helpful and guiding me. And I. I could. I wasn't sure what I was experiencing. I know I was experiencing something, and I don't. I just didn't know what was going on. But I was starting to feel. And as I'm starting to feel, I'm becoming soft and I can't control when I'm getting soft. And it Means I'm like, that's so hard. I'm not a marshmallow. But in doing that, like, you become more responsive to the environment. Not to control the environment, but to control yourself. So that's what is so valuable. I won't be able to be put off balance by other things around me. I'll be able to be more balanced. I'm like, water.

Tertia [00:13:18]:
That's beautiful. And I have to laugh. It's the. The marshmallow. So. So what we're going for is the. The, like the. The border around, but the softness of the marshmallow inside.

Danita Acker [00:13:29]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah.

Tertia [00:13:33]:
So I. I wanted to know. One of the things that I gave you as homework was embodiment practices for you to go and do some of the. The deeper work on your own. Especially since that's where I feel that's where a lot of the bigger transformation happens. Not necessarily in the session while you and. You and I are busy, but it's in the time in between the integration time and then also the practices that you do yourself to actually bring it to your life and bring this version of yourself to your life. So about those embodiment practices, do you want to talk to us a little bit about that and share with me how did you experience that? How did it land in your system?

Danita Acker [00:14:20]:
Yes. Yeah, for sure. So firstly, the audio is done really well. It's very calming. So I did the magnetism one. And with the mechanism one, you have to bring out a desire that you want. And so I love it. I love it. I feel like, oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna manifest my desire. But I didn't realize. I didn't really. It took a couple of times to realize, well, I don't really know what I desire. Like, I. Is what I desire what. What is around me, what other people are doing? Am I reflecting what other people are doing as a way to compete? Or is it truly what I desire and am I worthy of my desires? So that's big. And I am worthy of my desires. And my desires are unique to me. I have my own life path like you do too. And so as I'm healing more, I'm like what I call. It's almost like I make an agreement with the world around me that this. I'm imprinting this desire into my existence. And I know after each session it's going to happen. I don't know how, but I just know it. And I'm not doing it so that I'm controlling my destiny. It's Nothing like that. It's more. I have an agreement with this desire that I see you and I want you and I articulate it and then I. I would. I would like to come to a place when I'm ready to step into that. So that's one. I did resist it for a bit because I didn't feel worthy of my desires or even worthy of asking for what I wanted. I know we talked a little bit about that, but yeah, learning it's healthy to ask for what you. What you want and not. I didn't grow up in a place where I got everything I wanted. So I just did never ask because there's no way you can get what you wanted. Just not because I'm not worthy of it. This wasn't resources. I didn't grow up in an environment or a childhood that I could have that. So I just didn't ask. I just. Whatever I got, that's what I got. But that mindset continued in life. So it impacts how you dream. You know, you don't cast a big dream with the release. What really helped. You could help. I know I did it with you one time, but you could help me release something that was stuck. Like anger that was stuck or fear that was stuck or I was really processing a lot of the injustices that I could see and perceive and I was so terrified by it. In a previous work experience, I just didn't. It completely threw me off and I couldn't live for my true self. And I was still stuck in that victim and blaming mindset and doing your doing the release really helped me focus on what I need to release.

Tertia [00:16:49]:
Yeah. Yeah. And isn't that so amazing? Because we get shown what we can release once we are actually ready to go there. And so often when. When we stuck in our minds and we stuck in the injustice and we stuck in that victimhood, it's a loop that just keeps on. And the. The more we try and break free from that, the more we get stuck into it. And that's why I really love doing it through the body. Because this is how we can actually get to the truth of what is ready to. To let go so that we can make space for a different way of being in a different way of moving through the world.

Danita Acker [00:17:29]:
Yes. And I want to share something that happened the last. I think it was last Monday. I took my. My dog for her morning walk. And as I was shifting from one platform to another, I really hurt my ankle. Now, I don't normally get injuries, but I. I really sprained my ankle on my left side. And that's the first time in all my life that I've sprained an ankle. And it's on my left side. And it means that I can't run. Like, I haven't been able to run. It's almost two weeks now, and that's. I don't know. It's the first time in a very long years that I'm not running every week, but I can't. It's painful. And I need to listen to my body. I need to just listen. And so why I'm sharing that is because the left side is the feminine side. And I believe that I am, even now, still, like, it's healing and I'm getting better, but I'm paying attention to the symbolism of that event. What. There are things still that I have to release. The more I do that and the more I come to a place of accepting, I'm able to recognize what it is that needs to be released. Like memories come up or there's a tension, that something that's stuck inside of me. It's like a. I don't have a good analogy right now, but it's stuck. And so I see that experience of me hurting my left ankle and not being able to move forward as a way to say I need to be still and sit with myself. And there's still things that I need to let go, but it's not. It's not coming from a place like there's something wrong with you or you're not measuring up. That's a big thing I want to share with your work. It's not that I'm lacking or. That's not why I'm. I worked with you. I worked with you so that I can experience. Experience the fullness of a satisfying, meaningful life. And that's what you help me with.

Tertia [00:19:17]:
Yeah. Oh, I love that. It's. It's beautiful. And I love the. The intensity in your. In your voice as you. As you say. Would you. Would you mind sharing with us what if you had to contrast your life before versus a life now that's full and meaningful and satisfying? What has changed for you?

Danita Acker [00:19:40]:
Yeah, that's a great question. It's a big question. It's April now, so if I look back six months now, or like last fall, felt like I was in a cave, and I could. Intuitively, I knew what was coming. And I can't explain to you why I have this gift or whatever. I don't know if it's a gift, but I just knew I just had a sense of things. I knew that I had to change, and I knew that my. I had to change my work environment. But the work environment, the way that I was showing up in that particular work environment, I knew it wasn't healthy. It wasn't a healthy place, and it wasn't help, and I wasn't healthy in that environment. And so at the time, the two behaviors I can bring up. I was like a porcupine the entire time. I was intense. Like, my chest was tense, my shoulders were tense, my jaw was tense. I was tense. And I was angry. I was angry at the injustice that I felt. And I felt powerless. So I really felt powerless. And we talked about a lot about that in our one session. And that sense of powerlessness is really what I felt. And now, having done the sessions with you, I'm able to see where is this powerlessness coming from, what is being activated. So if I'm using a new technology and I get really frustrated and it's not working, then I get really. I feel powerless. Like, I feel like I can't change it. Like, it's. And then my. My intensity goes from 0 to 10 in a matter of seconds. And. And it's. Because it activates powerlessness. Like, I don't think I have the intelligence or whatever to figure it out. Whereas now I'm like, breathe. Just leave it. Just leave it. Come back to it. I'm able to engage with the situation, and it shows up for me from a. A place of actualization as opposed to feeling powerless. So now I. I don't have to show the world that I can figure out the technology. I don't have to show it to myself to show I'm intelligent. Like, it's just. Okay, stop. Let it be. Just stop it. We'll come back to it. It just literally happened yesterday in my car. I couldn't figure out something on my screen. I got so angry, and I felt so powerless. And I. I noticed what was happening, and I'm like this, stop. Did you know? It's okay. You don't have to. I was listening to a. A news channel. I don't want to hear what they have to say. I don't want to be influenced by this, whatever they're saying, because it's not true. It's not true, and it's not true for me. And so I pressed the wrong button on my screen. And when I was driving and I couldn't stop it, and I got so upset. But why? Because I felt out of. I felt I couldn't control my environment before, I would continue and grow angry at that. But yesterday I just turned it off. It's okay. Wow. I'm in control of me. I don't have to be controlled by that.

Tertia [00:22:24]:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Danita Acker [00:22:27]:
So that's a big shift.

Tertia [00:22:28]:
Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's huge because how many other places in your life, how many other instances where there's an interaction or some kind of situation where we end up feeling powerless, where you might have ended up feeling powerless before, and then being stuck in that sense of, I, I'm powerless, I can't, I need to now figure this out. And then using all of your energy to try and fight what is. Whereas now it sounds to me as if you have a lot more capacity, I want to call it. You've got a lot more space. You've got a resilience and a resourcefulness that before wasn't there, which I can see how, as this is taking you through your life and all of the future, like, everything that you're going to be doing going forward is going to change if you have that level of capacity.

Danita Acker [00:23:28]:
Yeah, I. As you were speaking, I was thinking of one of the shifts that helped me in working with you. You going from the head to my heart and to my belly. So before I would. I can intellectualize all day long and love it. And I would talk smart woman.

Tertia [00:23:45]:
We love that.

Danita Acker [00:23:46]:
Well, well. But it's also a way of knowing in this particular area. It's a way to show. Oh, it's like it's signaling. It's intellectual signaling, not virtual signaling. It's like signaling, hey, I'm worthy, I'm. It's like a worthy I'm. But if you truly know your worth, you don't have to signal, you know, anything else, like a musician or artist, anyone. You don't have to talk about how great you are. You just simply are. And so what I wanted to say is feeling the work of Viktor Frankl and the man's search for meaning. Like, he talks a lot about the external, internal locus of control. Your work made me be able to understand my internal locus of control. And I think when I'm in control of myself, I don't need to control the world around me and I can connect better. I think that's the biggest thing, you know, Tertia, like, I don't have to. I'm more connected because I don't need to control. I don't care if someone is saying something that's true, untrue about whatever. Like, I don't need to be defensive or get into a victim mindset. No, I'm in control of myself. And if I'm in a place that is not safe, I have the power to remove myself from that. And, and so that's huge. I can shift my reality. I can literally physically move, but also mentally I can say I don't have to be defensive. And in a victim mindset, yeah.

Tertia [00:25:06]:
Yeah, that's huge. And just the, the, the way in which you move through the world, that changes everything.

Danita Acker [00:25:15]:
Well, something I can share with you is understanding my place in the world. I believe we all have a unique purpose in this world and there's one that no one else can fulfill. The purpose I have. And I can't take my purpose and measure it against someone else for the stage of my life that I'm in, the age how I look, what all these things. But it's for me to determine. I have to figure out what my, my purpose is and how I am contributing to this moment in life and in society and in reality. My greatness comes from my own embodiment of my essence. And you can only do that when you. I needed you to help me to come to that place and even how I articulate my purpose. It's not easy to cast a vision. The ability to cast a vision for your life is tied to your internal purpose and understanding. Myself and my. What is important to me and my uniqueness, my purpose. I define the contours of my greatness, others don't. The work that you're doing and people in your line of work. To me, the reason there's such resonance and importance in it is because you're helping me understand my environment and the signals around me that I'm better able to understand. Like for example, if I feel ill, I'm better able to interpret channels of information around medicine or around how does my body feel. I can't explain to you enough how important it is. If I am not rooted and centered and feel my reality, I won't be able to engage with the world around me in a way that is truthful and that impacts the purpose of my life. And my purpose in my life is to be truthful and honest. And the last thing I'll say is a very well known psychologist, he had a very interesting life if you're ever interested in it. M. Scott Peck, he wrote a book and the Road Less Traveled. I remember one of the things he said that is so simple and true and he's. He talked about being mature. What does maturity look like, and not just adulthood. When you are in adulthood, you would hope you would come to a place of maturity. But he said it's the ability to be honest with yourself. And in that honesty, you're honest with other people. And whether it's coming up in a conflict or setting up a boundary. But again, I tie this back to the work that you're doing with Embodiment is understanding what am I feeling and not looking to other people around me to tell me what I'm feeling or. Or trying to measure up or. So, yeah, that's what I'll say.

Tertia [00:27:46]:
Yeah. Yeah. I think that's so true. Too often we are used and just coming back to the internal, external locus of control we are. So we've been conditioned and the lives that we have as kids growing up, the situations that we were in, that so often causes us to fall into these patterns and into these ways of being that doesn't really support us to show up as that. That fullest version of ourselves. And if you are not able to be in truth with yourself and in truth with the world, you cannot hold boundaries.

Danita Acker [00:28:22]:
Right.

Tertia [00:28:22]:
You can't cast that vision.

Danita Acker [00:28:24]:
Yes.

Tertia [00:28:25]:
And you cannot live. You cannot live free.

Danita Acker [00:28:29]:
Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, I was just reading a quote or a poem about this from a Polish guy the other day, but the freedom, you know, to experience freedom in your life is you. It's. I had to earn the understanding of what that means to be free. And that's why I had to understand why I feel. Why do I feel tight in my chest before, Before I worked with you, you know, I didn't realize from my one shoulder to the other, other shoulder how much tension I was carrying here or my jaw. Like, that's one of the first things you talk, you talk to me about is. I remember one of our first videos or sessions. It's about my. My jawline. Like, notice when I. When I do this. And I could see, for example, when I was criticized, every time something I did was criticized, or if I'm saying something and someone else is deliberately saying the opposite and criticizing it, my jaw would. Tension tense up.

Tertia [00:29:24]:
Yeah.

Danita Acker [00:29:24]:
Well, being criticized, if it's. If there's merit behind it and there's a logic behind it, it's a helpful. It's good and it helps. It changes whatever the topic is. You need to. You can grow stronger. Even if another individual uses criticism to tear you down, it doesn't. I could see for myself with the work that I was doing with you why. Why am I so threatened by why Am I so easily threatened? And I. I don't have to be threatened. I don't know. And then when I'm threatened, what happens? I'm defensive. So what I'm saying is that in working with you could. I could understand the behaviors that I'm engaging in subconsciously and I could stop it and say, stop, breathe, just come back. You're okay, you're safe, you're good. And now when someone else bring. Or if I'm criticized or my work is criticized, I don't follow the psychology.com advice of intellectually, I'm able to say I'm serious. Like I'm not. I'm not following pop psychology. I'm saying, okay, this happened. It doesn't. It's not a reflection of me. It's a reflection of that moment. What am I going to do with it? Is there truth to it or is it not? I'm just able to feel into it better than before. Again, I think I'm at the beginning of this work. You've helped me in the beginning of this work and hopefully I can continue it.

Tertia [00:30:48]:
Yeah, because. Because that's exactly the thing that you. And I'm glad that you brought it up because this is not like learning to ride a bicycle and then once you can ride a bicycle, you don't have to ride for 70 years and then you get on the bicycle and then you know how to ride it again. Yeah. It is like riding a bicycle in that you have to actually get on the bicycle to. To get that sense of balance. You have to land in your body yourself. So you can't intellectualize your way into a life of freedom. You have to feel it into your body. But the difference comes in is it's a practice which means that you have to continue with. Have to. I don't like saying have to, but you have to continue to do it. You have to continue to do the practice. You have to show up consistently for yourself and continue to cultivate that level of honesty and vulnerability that you have found.

Danita Acker [00:31:45]:
Yeah.

Tertia [00:31:46]:
In the relationship with yourself. Because the world that we live in and everything that goes on around us makes it very easy for us to disembody again to fly out of our bodies and to not be present to ourselves or present to the people in our lives.

Danita Acker [00:32:06]:
Yeah, 100 and I. In some ways, not being present to yourself or constantly being distracted by news or social media or the outside, it makes you unsafe because you're not able to see reality again. You're not able to truly see reality. You know, you, you, you will take a selfie with a lion right behind you. But it's completely not safe. And anyone, if you're completely present, you would see, see that. And so that ability to be 100% present in this time, as you're saying, I don't think there's a more important time in society. I'm not just saying it because I'm talking to you, but there isn't a more time important on this work because what you're doing is helping me to be authentic. And when I'm authentic, I'm able to stop and say, oh, there's a lion behind me. I don't want to take a. I don't want to tell the rest of the world there's a line behind me. Hey, look, me and the lion. I'm taking a selfie. I'm able to say, okay, you know what? There's a lion. I'm. I'm going to get back in the car.

Tertia [00:33:05]:
Wherever I am going to take care of myself here.

Danita Acker [00:33:09]:
Yes, exactly. Yeah. And you know what? The lion line was there. But anyway, yeah, so, so that's. The ability to be authentic is such a key. Do you know? It's such. It's one of the top leadership traits. Authenticity and the passion, those two things. Having passion is huge. People are so drawn to it, you know, and that's most likely why I was drawn to your work, because you're very passionate about this work. And you're not passionate because you want to be a rah Rah leader. You're passionate because my sense, the little that I know of you, is that it's meant your journey in your life. It is significantly open to help you blossom in your life. But that the ability to be authentic comes back with how I am understanding my, my body and how I show up and not just intellectualizing it.

Tertia [00:33:54]:
Yeah, absolutely. And I believe, and I've seen this myself and I, I see that you are already starting to see the beginnings of that is once we were. Once we are our authentic selves, there's nothing really that's in our way anymore. We can go on to create everything that we desire because our desires become then our own truth and we don't grasp and fear and cling onto it, that it will be taken away from us if someone finds out who we really are.

Danita Acker [00:34:32]:
What you just said, that's it. That's what I continue to want. And I, I, you're. You just said it very beautifully, like, please come back to what you just said. Listen to yourself. What you just said. No, seriously, like, you're right, it is. I. Yes. 100. And that's where I'm at. I don't have to be afraid and I fear or protect. If I'm afraid, I have to protect it. I don't have to. It's gonna. Yeah, I think it's a different angle. It's a different way of looking at it. I don't have to control, you know, I can. It's almost like I'm letting go of control and I'm okay with me, you know?

Tertia [00:35:06]:
Yeah. So, Danita, if someone was like on the fence, on the cusp of, of working with me and wondering if this is the thing, the way to go, what would you say to them?

Danita Acker [00:35:20]:
It's okay to be on the fence. It's okay. And it's okay to doubt. What is this going to work? One, two. What? Like is this, is this a little loopy? Is it out there, like, I don't quite know. It's okay to go and try all these intellectual articles and you will find, you will find work on this because this is in, this is an emerging field that's resonating in different areas of society and then cost wise. Yeah, it's normal to doubt. What I will say is step into that doubt and challenge yourself and say, I'm open to the experience of working with you. And meet yourself. Have the courage to meet yourself. Because when you meet yourself, you will realize the beauty in being fearless. You will see. You will see. For example, as I did with you, one of the one sessions we did, I saw myself sitting around a, like a bonfire and I forgot the two characters. One was uncertainty and the other one was. There were these two characters.

Tertia [00:36:18]:
It was soft, it was softer.

Danita Acker [00:36:20]:
Yeah. Uncertainty and self doubt were at my, my fire. I didn't invite them, but they were there and I, I could hang out with them and, and then really I realized I'm not afraid of having all these uncertainties in my life and I'm not afraid of self doubt and self doubt gonna show up again and say you're not. This, this and this. I could meet them and I could say, I see you guys, I see you, or girls, whatever you are, and I see you. It's fine that you're here. I don't have to be controlled by you. So working with you helps me face my own insecurities and help me let go of it. So if you want to be truly, if you want to have a fulfilling and satisfying life, which to me is a definition of success and be valuable to yourself, do this work. Because I mean I, I think the return on investment is gonna, it's huge. It's not just monetarily, but the return on investment in working with you is so significant. It's opened, it's opening up worlds for me and opportunities to engage with people, whereas I before wouldn't.

Tertia [00:37:21]:
Yeah, I love that. Thank you for sharing that. What I also want to just add in here is, and we spoke about it as well as I saw you from, from when you started and I literally saw, saw the change happening in you and I saw that, that softening and that, that kind of, of. I almost want to call it an inner peace and a knowing of okayness that you, that you landed in. And as I saw that like evolve and come through in our sessions, I said that it's not so much because of the coaching on its own, it's also the work that you are doing when I'm not there, when we're not in session. All of those, those drop in meditations and all of the, the guided audios that you do and that, that bring. I actually forgot to say that earlier when you spoke about the magnetism practice that you were doing and how it came up that you started questioning your own desires. And that's normal because often the things that we think we want are actually the things that we don't want, but we think those are good things to have because of what society tells us. And then there's also a level of honesty and vulnerability that's necessary there for you to come into contact with. Okay, what is it that you truly desire? And then to face off with the, the fear of am I deserving this? Am I good enough? And through the practice of always showing up, even if it feels scary, just holding yourself through that so that you could come out on the other side to say, yes, of course I deserve this, of course I am enough. And not, not thinking it, but truly knowing it on a deep, on a deep level.

Danita Acker [00:39:16]:
Yes, I'm still working on that. Like, yeah, feeling it on a deep level. Like I, I'm in doing your magnetism meditations now still. There's like a desire that came up the other day. It's the first time in my life that I articulated this desire. And it's almost like I didn't feel worthy of having this. But the fact that I brought it up, like it's something that I will. I'm stepping more into it. I can't explain this to you. I'm own. I'm not owning it, but I'm becoming it. And it's becoming it and feeling it. It's becoming more real.

Tertia [00:39:46]:
I love that for you. And the final. The final thought, a little coaching tip that I'll. That I'll say here, is that that practice, the. The audio is designed to that doubt that comes up and that fear that comes up and that worry of, am I deserving? When you continue to do the practice, those begin to dissolve because it's stuck in your body. It's stuck in your system. And as you move through the practice, you also move through those constrictions. So you just keep on showing up for yourself and you just keep on doing the work. That's all you need to do.

Danita Acker [00:40:26]:
On. On Monday evening, I did a ki chong class, I'm sure I'm pronouncing it incorrectly. And the instructor just came back from China and she had to take her parents back. You know, they lived with her here in the States, and she had to take them back and put them in a home. And so she said to us, this is the year of the snake. And she said, we did a lot of ex. Like movements about the spine and how you move the spine. And she said, you have to continuously ask yourself, what do I have to shed? Because the snake sheds skin. I just thought, this work that I'm doing with you, you're helping me shed skin. You're helping me shed what is no longer like my. You're helping me shed old ways of being. Yeah, but I'm not a snake at all. But it is the year of the snake, and that was. That symbolism was just really resonate. I wanted to share that with you so.

Tertia [00:41:18]:
Well, Danita, I so enjoyed having you here on the podcast with me today, and I'm very excited for you to see what else or what is next for you and what is going to continue to unfold.

Danita Acker [00:41:31]:
Yes. And, you know, thank you to you for listening to yourself and for you for doing this work and having the courage to steward your gifting. That in turn can help me. Help me see my. My purpose. And so, thank you. Continue to do this work, and you're on my journey now. We're part of each other's lives.

Tertia [00:41:50]:
Wonderful. Oh, thank you so much.