75: Should You Hire a Feminine Embodiment Coach?

There might be a few reasons why you are in the market for a coach.  Perhaps you have come to a point where you need some support to help you move to your goals faster. Perhaps you’ve worked with a coach before and it was a great experience and you want to do it again. Or perhaps you’ve worked with a coach and it wasn’t so great, but this time you want to make a better decision.

If you are curious to know if  working with a feminine embodiment coach (like me!)  will actually help you move forward to your goals, this episode will give you a practical framework to decide.

In this episode I unpack

• The difference between mentorship, traditional coaching and feminine embodiment coaching.
• What a depth first approach means and how it works.
• Three questions to ask yourself before you invest in coaching. 

If you want your business to go from being fueled by adrenalin to being fueled by flow, sign up for a FREE Feminine Embodiment Discovery Call https://tertiariegler.com/book/ to discuss if working with me is the right option for you.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, medical advice or business coaching.

Transcript

Tertia [00:00:00]:
Hello, it's Tertia, and you are listening to the Feminine Embodiment Podcast. It's a show where I teach women entrepreneurs practices and tools to get out of your head, into your body, and into your feminine power so you can feel more fully alive and have the impact you are here to have with more ease. And in today's episode, we are talking about whether you should hire a feminine embodiment coach. So there may be a few reasons why you are in the market for a coach. Perhaps you have come to a point where you need some support to help you move to your goals faster, and you're wondering if you need to hire a coach to help you with that. Or perhaps you've worked with a coach in the past and it was a great experience and you want to do it again, and you are sticking your feelers out to see who is out there that you may want to work with. Perhaps you have worked with a coach before and it wasn't so great, but you do want to try again, and this time you want to make a better decision. So if this is you in any way, shape, or form, you will find today's episode so helpful, and I will leave a link for you in the show notes so that If you come to the end of this episode, you like what you heard, and you want to take the next step, you can book your free feminine embodiment discovery call with me and we can talk about what working together will look like. So when we speak about coaching, it's important that we get on the same page with regards to the different kinds of coaching and types of coaching that's available out there. I feel that a lot of the things that you want to get out of the coaching will determine what type or kind of coaching it is that you choose. So a lot of what we think of as coaching is actually mentorship. So coaching is really about asking powerful questions and allowing insights and new answers and new awareness to come to the surface through those questions. But we also have something called mentorship, and mentorship is really where someone did something and they succeeded. So they're looking from the outside on what you are doing and they're telling you, do this, do that, follow these steps, follow this framework, and you will get the same results as me. And this kind of coaching is very valuable, The next kind of coaching that you get is coaching that is very directive, is very focused on action. So for example, they ask questions around your problems, around the challenges that you're experiencing, around the mindset that you have around this challenge. And once the problem has been identified, together with you, they come up with a solution or a plan to actually solve the problem so that you can get closer to your goals. Once again, a very valuable form of coaching, and most traditional coaching models follow this kind of approach. And then we get feminine embodiment coaching, and this is the coaching that I'm certified in. I'm certified through the School of Embodied Arts, and in the modality of feminine embodiment coaching, what we do is we have a depth first approach. So we identify the problem and we want to move forward to a goal. So that's the same as with traditional coaching, identify the problem and identify the endpoint. What is different though, is that we then dive into the body to see the wisdom that the body holds in relation to this problem or challenge, in relation to the goal or the desire that you have. We work with the nervous wisdom. And only then, once we've delved into the depths of the wisdom of your body, only then do we take action based on what your body has illuminated, based on the truth that your body has brought up. And we work with something called the internal felt sense. You can think of the internal felt sense as the root texture of what you are feeling. So a way that I find easy to relate with is that we have our external senses, right? You have your eyes, you, that you see with, you can hear, you can taste, you can touch, you can smell. And our outside senses, our external senses, gives us information about what is happening around us. And if I just look around here in my office, on my desk, I have a pen. I can click the pen, I can feel the pen, I can trace the shape of the pen with my fingers and feel the smoothness of it. I can see the color of the pen, and so it really gives me all the information that I need about what this pen looks like, what it can do, and how it works. And just like our external senses can help us make sense of the world around us, we also have an internal felt sense. And that internal felt sense helps us make sense of different dimensions of our being. It helps us navigate the world from the inside out. And these four dimensions, and this is something that I speak about a lot, it's the dimensions of our physical body, our mental body, our emotional body, and our energy body. So let's just dive into that a little bit now. So the dimension of our physical body, this is the one that's most dense, that's most obvious to us, and that's our actual physical feelings and sensations, like feeling hungry, feeling thirsty, feeling tired. And even though these feelings and sensations that we get are very obvious to us, we tend to sometimes override that. Think about how you sometimes maybe skip lunch, even if you're hungry, you skip lunch in order to do something else instead. The next dimension is our mental dimension. So that's the realm of our thoughts. And this is a dimension that we are all quite familiar with, right? We also live in a world that tells us that what happens in our thoughts and in our mental realm is the most important thing. What we don't always realize though, is that we can trace what we are thinking. We can trace the root texture of that. In our bodies. Let me show you what I mean. Close your eyes for a moment if it's safe for you to do so. And this is simply just to cut out external distractions and bring your awareness inwards. And then if your eyes are closed, if it's safe for you to do so, then think about your most favorite holiday destination. And as you think about that, as you maybe even imagine yourself being there, Notice what happens in your body. For me, when I think about my favorite holiday destination and I see myself in my imagination being there, I can feel how I exhale a breath that I didn't even know I was holding. I can feel how my chest opens. I can feel how my hands open and soften, and I'm sinking down in my chair a little bit, even as I'm speaking to you. And so I'm curious, what do you notice happens in your body when you think about your favorite holiday destination? The third dimension that we can have access to through our root texture that's available to us in our internal world is that of our emotions, our emotional body. And our emotions are really labels that we put onto a constellation of feelings and sensations. And what that means is simply that the way that I experience an emotion, how that emotion feels inside my body, how I notice and how I have awareness of that inside my body is going to be different to how you experience that emotion. A common emotion that I think most of us have experienced at one or other point in our life is, for example, the emotion of anxiety, feeling anxious about something. In my body, when I feel anxiety, it feels like both a tightening over my chest and my stomach, but it also feels like I become antsy. I feel as if I need to move or walk. And for you, anxiety might feel completely different to the way that I experience it. I have a client who experiences anxiety as her heart beating faster and her palms becoming sweaty. The fourth dimension is that of energy, and energy here has to do with the space that you take up. How much or how little space you take up. It has to do with how fast or how slow you feel, and it has to do with how close to yourself or how far away from yourself you feel. And so when we have access to our internal felt sense, what it basically means is we tapping into the data of our physical body, our mental body, our emotional body, and our energy body, those four dimensions. And this is important because most of us go through life only feeling a small percentage of our truth. We only feel a small percentage of these four dimensions. We feel feelings like anger and sadness and happiness, but we don't feel the expression of our truth in our depths. We don't feel our full aliveness. I was watching a YouTube video with my kids the other day, and it was one of these videos where it's a compilation of lots of different clips, and this video was about football. So different football goals and scores and so on. And Some of these clips were super, super clear, crystal clear. They were 4K, and some of these clips were so hazy that you could hardly see the people's expression on their faces. You basically just really saw the outline. And that's what I think of when I think about how we don't live in our full expression. We've got this possibility to have a 4K life experience where everything Everything is crystal clear and we are fully expressed, but many of us live as a low resolution of ourselves. And the best way that I know of to get to that, that 4K is to fully inhabit ourselves, to embody ourselves. And if you suspect that you are living a low resolution of yourself, if you yearn to step into this full 4K life, full expression of your truth, I want you to know that it's not your fault that you are not in full resolution, right? There are so many layers that is beyond the scope of this episode for me to unpack, but suffice to say that the world that we live in our mental faculties and our thinking is rated much more than what we feel and what we sense. And so we are really good in tapping into this dimension of our thinking, but not so good into tapping into the depths of the other dimensions. Also, in our hyper-masculine culture, many of us have been told that we are too much, that we are too sensitive, that we are too messy, that we are too loud. And so what we do is we start turning down the volume on these experiences so that we are not too much of anything. And so many of us have forgotten how to get into contact with this internal felt sense, which is the doorway into the depths and into our feminine power. There is a huge difference in my experience in living your life and navigating your relationships, running your business and making decisions in a way where you only tap into your mental faculties, what you can see in the outside world and what makes sense on paper versus using your mental faculties, what you can see in the outside world, What makes sense of paper and combining that with the embodied wisdom of your body, bringing online the energy, the emotional, and the physical dimensions as well, so that you can be fully expressed in your power. And this is what feminine embodiment coaching gives us, right? So personally, I love this way of coaching. I love it because I'm not in your body. And I'm not living your experience, so I don't have the right answers for you. I can only guide you to your truth, which is held in your body. And those answers there, the truth that is held there, is more powerful than any answer that I may have. When I'm looking for a coach, and I've had a few coaches over the years, off the top of my head, I've had about 8 8 or 9 coaches over the years. And to me, I have a few things that I look for, that I want when I'm getting coached. And the most important thing is I want someone to help me with decisions. I don't want someone to tell me what to do, but I want someone that can help me find clarity about how to move forward. One of the things that is true for me is that I always see many possibilities and many directions, and it can take up a lot of energy, and it can be very exhausting to try and figure it all out on my own. Maybe you have a similar situation where you feel that you just don't have the time to actually stop to make these decisions. Maybe you're afraid of making the wrong decision. There are so many things that can hold us back from moving forward. And so for me, I look to get coached because it makes my decisions easier so that I can move forward. I'm also always looking for a little bit extra, a little bit more. So yes, I absolutely want to add to my skillset. If I hire a coach, it's because I want to be able to move forward and do something better, but I'm also looking for something that at the same time will enrich my life. And the final thing that I look for when I'm looking to hire a coach is I don't only want the outcomes and the results, but I want to be able to get those results and move forward in a way that aligns with my values. I don't want to do things that make me feel icky or that makes me feel uncomfortable. Often with coaching, of course, we'll get stretched out of our comfort zones and that can be uncomfortable, and I'm fully on board with that, but I don't want to do something that goes against my values. And now here I have some questions that you can ask yourself as you are getting ready to find someone to coach with. And the first thing is to know what it is that you want to have as a result of the coaching. The clearer you are about what results you want, the easier it is going to be for you to find someone that actually matches that? Because you want to have someone that specializes in that particular area that you want support in. Another question is, does this person that I'm considering hiring, do they hold the same values that I have? Is part of their coaching and their lived experience that they are actually walking they talk. You can follow them on social media, you can listen to their podcast episodes, you can see if you really resonate with their message and with their energy and with them. And then the third question, which I don't always know if we think to ask this to ourselves, is do you have the capacity? If you are going to invest in coaching, it requires an investment of money and it inquires, requires an investment of your time, your capacity, your ability to actually get the most out of the coaching. So do you have the capacity? Do you have the space in your life? Can you make time to do what is needed so that you can get the best results? I believe to get the most out of any coaching program or container that you join, The most important thing is that your body has to be on board. Think about in the past, maybe if someone has told you to do something in this way, if you don't agree with that, if your nervous system reacts unfavorably to what you are, you've been told to do, it won't work. And this is what makes feminine embodiment coaching different is because we work with the internal felt sense. We work with the nervous system and we get your body on board first so that your internal wisdom, your embodied wisdom can fuel your actions. So that's it from me for this episode. I appreciate you being here. I will see you in the next episode. And if what I shared here about feminine embodiment coaching tickled your taste buds, then the best thing that you can do is to head over to my website, tertiaaregler.com, and sign up for that free feminine embodiment discovery call. During this 30-minute feminine embodiment discovery call, we will identify together what it is that you want to achieve. I will offer my insights into how you might get to that goal and what next steps you can take. And then if you want my help in doing that faster, then we can discuss working together. So head over to my website, tertia regler.com. Click on the discovery link, and that's— discovery link is on the top of the page, and then you can schedule that free discovery call.