76: Beyond the Hustle: How to Fuel Your Business with Desire, Not Pressure

As ambitious women and women entrepreneurs, it’s easy to fall into the go-go-go trap, especially when our world rewards our output and our productivity and puts logic and thinking above what we sense and feel.

In this episode I explore how to bring in more of the feminine while still honouring your masculine go energy. Imagine running your business while centering your wellbeing, and without getting stuck in stress cycles that burn you out.  By leading with the feminine, you don’t only feel more present, more creative, and more sensually alive, you are also much more potent at work, at home and in your relationships.

What You Will Learn in This Episode

• How masculine and feminine energy exist on a spectrum and how to use both in your business and leadership.
• What it means to fully inhabit yourself instead of living as a shadow of your potency.
• The difference between taking action from pressure versus letting your actions be fueled by your desire.

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https://tertiariegler.com/news/

🧲 If you’re doing all the right things in your business but still feeling stuck, overthinking every move, or struggling to create the momentum you know you’re capable of,  I'd love to support you. 

Book a FREE discovery call at tertiariegler.com/book. We’ll explore what’s really keeping you stuck  and whether working together is the right fit.

📌Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only.  It does not constitute therapy, medical advice or business coaching.

Transcript

Tertia [00:00:00]:
Hello, it is Tertia, and you are listening to the Feminine Embodiment Podcast. It is a show where I teach women entrepreneurs simple and effective practices and tools to get out of your head, into your body, and into your feminine power so that you can feel more fully alive and have the impact you are here to have with more ease. I apologize for my voice if I sound a little bit nasally. I have a very slight cold. I woke up with a scratch in the back of my throat and I can feel my nose feels a little bit swollen on the inside, but I really wanted to record this episode for you. I think you are going to find it so helpful. So let's get into it. So often when we are ambitious, we really go after what we want, right? And if that is you, if you are ambitious and you go after what you want, but you're feeling So spread thin and burnt out, and perhaps you're even wondering if all of these sacrifices that you're making, if it's really worth it. And some days you don't even like the way in which you are showing up. If that is you, then this episode today is going to be so helpful. I want you to know that the way to your most potent self, whether that's at work, or at home or in your relationships, the way to your most potent self is to become more skilled in your feeling, flowing feminine energy. And this is something that I love supporting my clients with. So in my own life, I'm continuously exploring how I can bring in more of the feminine. There was a time in my life where I was constantly stuck in what I would say overdrive. I was always pushing and I was putting my productivity and my results way over the quality of my life and my wellbeing. And so as I started looking for ways to bring more of the feminine in, I discovered embodiment and specifically feminine embodiment, of which I am a coach. So in this episode today, I want to dive in how you can bring in more of the feminine while still honoring your action-oriented masculine go energy so that you can use both of these energies in your business and in your life. Our masculine and feminine energy exists on a spectrum, and we always have access to both of these energy essences that exist inside us. I feel it's quite reckless to say the masculine is only this and the feminine is only that. I always see that there is a weave and a dance of both present in any action that we take, and I also know that our world rewards our masculine energy, right? The world rewards our output and our productivity, and the The world puts logic and thinking— our, our cultures put logic and thinking above what we sense and feel, and we can even get addicted to these stress cycles that blow out our adrenals and burn us out when we are consistently relying only on the more masculine essence, our more masculine side of our power. So you end up working 16-hour days, you sacrifice your personal life, and you're basically running yourself into walls. And I'm raising my hand here as someone who has been in that space before. When we get addicted to these stress cycles, when we own— only honor this masculine side of us, it can look like totally ignoring the needs of our body and skipping meals and not cleaning your face properly before you go to bed at night because you've just spent too much time scrolling your phone. It can look like not doing any workouts or exercise and opening your laptop as soon as your kids are in bed. So totally neglecting self-care, totally neglecting the nourishment and the nurturing that we need to perform at our best level. You may even experience, and I know that this is something that is very typical for us ambitious, high achiever type woman is we have this overwhelming desire to jump in and to make things happen, which is fantastic. I love that side of me that I love to jump in and to make things happen and kick some ass, but we can't do that all the time. The big challenge, of course, that we have, and I'm— I know that you totally will resonate with this, is that in business we tend to use our masculine energy a lot. Right? We have these structures in place and we have these goals that we go after and we ignore our energy cycles because we are consistently focused on feeling the same every day and having the same kind of output every day. We keep our emotions in check because it's more professional. Your emotions don't belong in the boardroom. They need to stay at home. And even these deadlines that can sometimes, activate us into action. Those deadlines that are a reality in running your own business, those deadlines activate our nervous system. And if we don't have a way to counter these constant activations, we consistently stay in a state of fight, flight, or freeze. Your nervous system goes into fight, flight, or freeze, which we are not gonna dive into in this episode, but suffice to say, that's a burnout cocktail right there. If we want to be more potent, if we want to step in the full potential and the actualization of who we truly are and our purpose of how we are here to serve and contribute to the world, it requires us to let our feminine lead and our masculine to support. And the way that I see it currently happens for most of us is we are leaning on our masculine energy to lead, to support, to do all the heavy lifting, to do it all. But we want to lead with our feminine. We want to— when I say lead with our feminine, we want to align with our desires. We want to be focused in the present moment, in the here and now, in what is currently happening. We want to tap into our creativity and be more receptive and open and lean back so that we can receive. We want a more embodied way and receptive way of working, and we want to stay connected to our purpose. That's what it means when we lead with our feminine. It's when we center these things, and then we want to take our masculine, that action-oriented, future-focused part of us that can do the direction, that can implement the strategies, that can be assertive and hold those boundaries, hold the container for us. We want that then to support us, our masculine go. Now, as I said earlier, my way into the feminine is through embodiment, which means that we have to bring our body on board. And you'll see in all the examples that I mentioned earlier about, you know, not doing any workouts or working so many hours and sacrificing your personal life and not cleaning your face and spending too much time scrolling. In all of those things, what we do is we basically ignoring our bodies. We ignoring the information and the data that our bodies send to us. So we literally living from the head up. A model that I always use, and this is not literal, but it helps me to kind of visualize and imagine how these energies of the masculine and the feminine can manifest in us, is I always think that the domain of the masculine is in the head. So our thinking, our logic, our planning, our strategizing, and the domain of the feminine is in the body. It's our intuition, our cyclical nature, the nonlinear aspect of us. But in modern life, what tends to happen— and this happens in our businesses, it happens in all domains of our life really— is we tend to send our energy upwards and outwards. So we are sending our energy away from ourselves, out into the world, up into our heads, and we kind of go numb below the neck. We don't feel much below the neck, and I don't mean that you don't feel anything. Of course we are going to feel emotions. We are going to feel anger and sadness. We will experience joy, but we are only experiencing a small percentage of what is truly available to us. And if you are not able to experience your full self, you are not able to live fully expressed as yourself. You're only living as a shadow of yourself, as a little particle of your full potency and your potential, instead of having access to the full range of who you are. So this is what happens because we tend to send our energy upwards and away from ourselves. The feminine is about bringing that energy down into our bodies to bring awareness inward so that we can know ourselves, 'cause so that we can inhabit ourselves and so that we can be in contact with all of who we are. And this is what embodiment means, right? It means to fully inhabit yourself, bringing this energy into you, connecting with the feelings and the sensations that are alive in your body, these currents of aliveness that are always there. We then get to step into the fullness of that, you opening to the magnetic, the radiant, and the essentially alive aspects of you. And so I have two inquiries, two questions that I will share with you that will help you to cultivate more of of the feminine in your business. And the first question is, what do I need to be more creative or inspired? So what do you need to be more creative or inspired? What conditions do you need for your creativity to come alive? What routines support you? What setup do you need in order to feel truly inspired and alive? And this is all about experimenting, right? It's going to be different for everyone. What is the optimal conditions that you need to be well, to do well? And I'll give you some examples from my own life. I know that I'm at my best when I do a workout and I move my body before I do anything else work-related. And I've spoken about this before, when I do any creative work, like recording a podcast as I'm doing now, or when I'm Writing, uh, emails to my newsletter, which by the way, if you are not on my newsletter yet, get on my newsletter. I'll leave a link for you down in the show notes. This is a newsletter that goes out once a week and it's not the same information that I share on the podcast, right? I share embodiment tips. I share tips on how to get more into your feminine energy and more into your feminine power. It's not the same as the information that you're gonna hear on the podcast. And, uh, The link for that is in the show notes, so you can grab it from there. Okay, so yes, my creative work, recording podcast, writing blog posts, writing my emails, I do that in the morning because in the morning my energy is the highest. I do that before I even open my laptop or check any of my emails or do any of my client-related activities. My focus is really on tapping into this wellspring of creativity and inspiration so that I share what will be most valuable and helpful to you. In the evenings, I build time into my evening routine to be alone and be in contemplation, visioning and dreaming and coming up with ideas, making some plans. So not really taking action as I'm doing now, speaking, but it's more of an internal creative process, and I need that alone time for this creativity to blossom. I work with my cycle as much as I can, and this can be a little— actually, it has become a little bit unpredictable because I am in late perimenopause, so I don't always know when I'm going to bleed. But typically I will avoid doing client calls or any kind of creative work that requires energy, demands energy from me on the first day of my bleed. It's so important for us to know this about our own energy. Mother Nature is a beautiful example of what the feminine is, right? She's beautifully expressed through the different seasons that each has its own unique elements, and we don't judge a season. We appreciate that nature cycles as she does, and we cycle in the same way. And so So when you ask how, or what is it that you need, what conditions and routines need to be in place for you to be more creative and more inspired, it is so important to have that level of self-awareness. It's an intentional way of living, an intentional way of being. It's a devotion, right? Bringing the feminine into our lives is a devotion. It requires us to get out of our heads, out of autopilot, and into our bodies. So what conditions do you need? How can you set yourself up to be your most creative and inspired selves? And as I said, you're going to need to experiment with different things to see what feels best and what stokes your fire, and then you see how do you bring in more of that. And so the second question is, how do you bring in more of that? How can you fuel your desire? So the typical behavior that I see, and this is quite normal, there's nothing wrong with it, is typically we have this goal, we have this idea of what we want, and then we take action towards that goal to make it happen, to make sure that we actually achieve that goal. And when we don't, there's a lot of self-talk and a lot of judgment, and then we try harder. So we fall in the cycle, right? But what we don't consider is the relationship that we have towards that goal or that desire. You hold in your body, even if you are not consciously aware of it, your body holds a certain relationship to any goal that you have, and the relationship that you have towards that will determine the outcome. So let's say, for example, you say that you want to reduce your hours, you want to work less hours, and you want to make more— you want to have more downtime, you want to have more time to relax, but then you notice all of a sudden you have so much more to do, so many thi— more things to complete, so many more things that demand your attention. It's It's like that downtime that you want, the free time that you want, it slips out of your fingers because you literally don't have time to even think about slowing down. The relationship that you have towards slowing down and working less is the reason that all of a sudden you have so many more things to do, so many more things calling for your attention. Okay. And you holding this in your body, it doesn't make it wrong. It's only data. So if you are holding the relationship that you have in your body towards that goal, if you are holding a relationship of, I don't really want that, a relationship of no, for whatever reason, you are going to be taking lots of actions that will not bring you closer to that goal. The thing is, your body needs to be in alignment with your goal. Your body has to hold a yes towards your goal so that, that can fuel your actions. And that is the principle of feminine magnetism. That is how we bring more ease into how we show up, into how we express, into how we create that impact and live out our purpose in the world by being in right relationship to our goals. Okay. So the next question is then, how do I know what my relationship is towards that goal? Well, there's only one way. Well, probably not only one way. The way that I know to find out what that relationship is, is we have to drop into our bodies. We have to get out of our heads, drop into our bodies and feel what it is that we are holding towards that goal. And if you find that there is a yes towards your desires, the next question becomes, and this is the second inquiry, how can you fuel it? How can you let that desire root and take up more space so that this fuels your actions instead of your actions being fueled by pressure or external expectations or just busy work work, but let your actions be fueled by your desire. And if you drop into your body and you see that what you are holding towards your goal is a no towards that desire, it doesn't make anything wrong. It's data. And now you have the data you need to shift that no into a yes. And these are the exact things that I support my clients with. So if you want my help, in cultivating more of the feminine in how you work and how you run your business, then head over to my website, tertia regla.com, and you can sign up for a free feminine embodiment discovery call. In this 30-minute call, we can look at your current orientation towards your goals and your desires. We can look at how you can set up optimal conditions so that you can bring more of the feminine in., and I'll offer some insights. I'll offer some next steps, and we can talk about what working together looks like. So that's it from me for this episode. I hope that these two questions, what do I need to be more creative or inspired? And how can I fuel my desire? I hope that these two questions will support you in inquiring, dropping in and feeling into how to bring in more of your feminine. So that your masculine can hold the structure, but your feminine is the one that leads all of your actions. So thank you so much for tuning in to this episode. I so appreciate you, and I will see you in the next episode. Bye!