80: Stop Second-Guessing Every Business Move: Use Your Inner Compass

Are you tired of polling everyone in the room every time you have to make a high-stakes move in your business? If you spend your time looking at spreadsheets, asking mentors, and scrolling online to see what others are doing, you are looking for the answer outside of yourself. You’re spinning in a loop of logic, and it’s like you’re weightlifting with only one arm.

Whenever there is an important decision like hiring someone new, or perhaps pivoting your business, taking your energy up into your head, leads you to doubt yourself. And you end up sitting with the decision for way longer than you need to. 

In this episode, we are changing that. You will learn how to break down the scaffolding that stops you from making decisions so you can move forward with ease, based on the undeniable data living right inside your own body.

In this episode, we unpack:

• Why solving this only on the level of the mind makes you lopsided and keeps you churning water.
• How habitual disembodiment, external sourcing, and fix-it loops are stopping you from committing to a course of action.
• Why ignoring the space below your chin means you’re missing out on your most precise business data.
• A simple ritual to bring your awareness inwards before sending your energy out into strategy and doing.
• A guided walkthrough to help you sense your physical body, the "texture" of your thoughts, your emotional constellations, and your energetic vibe.

Stop wasting time on the backwards-and-forwards motion.

If you want to: 

-->tap into your inner compass;

-->so you can start Q3 with unwavering self-trust, 

-->I have two spots open for 1:1 coaching clients

Book discovery call: https://tertiariegler.com/book/ 

Feminine embodiment, business decisions, second-guessing, inner compass, high-stakes business, female entrepreneurs, getting out of your head, self-trust in leadership.

🧲 If you’re doing all the right things in your business but still feeling stuck, overthinking every move, or struggling to create the momentum you know you’re capable of,  I'd love to support you. 

Book a FREE discovery call at tertiariegler.com/book. We’ll explore what’s really keeping you stuck  and whether working together is the right fit.

📌Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only.  It does not constitute therapy, medical advice or business coaching.

Transcript

Tertia [00:00:00]:
So I don't know about you, but a lot of us, when we are faced with decisions, when we have different options to choose from, we spend our time looking at spreadsheets, looking at the numbers. We perhaps ask people around us, our mentors. We even scroll online to see what other people in our industry are, are doing in order to help us figure out what is our next move. So it's literally like you are looking for the answer outside of yourself, And I believe the reason we do that is because we've been taught that our own internal signals, our own internal knowing, it's unreliable. And in this episode, we are going to change that so that you can make high-stakes business decisions based on the undeniable data that is living right inside your own body. Hello, I'm Tersha, and you are listening to the Feminine Embodiment Podcast. It is a show where I teach women entrepreneurs practices and tools to get out of your head and into your body so that you can feel more fully alive and magnetic and have the impact that you are here to have with more ease. Now, before we dive into this episode, I just want to make a very quick announcement. I've got two spots that have opened up in my calendar for next month. That's in April. And if you get to the end of this episode and you want my support in starting to make decisions so that you don't waste time anymore on going backwards and forwards, then I invite you to set up a discovery call. And if we do work together, you could be ready to start Q3 with an unwavering self-trust and confidence in your decisions and inner compass that is so precise, so that you can finally start moving forward. Okay, into the episode. So in my work with women, something that I see so often, and this happens to all of us, it's a pattern that whenever there is a, let's call it a high-stakes decision, an important decision that's going to have an impact on your business, for example, hiring someone new in your team, pivoting your business, perhaps even reviewing your offers or doing a pricing shift, what we tend to do is we take our energy upwards and outwards. So you can literally think about you taking your energy and you're pulling it into your head and you're sending it out of your head away from yourself. So you're scanning your external environment and tapping into your external world to find the answers that you need. And you are also in your head spinning in what I call a loop of logic. Right? And linear pros and cons lists. So we go through all of these things, we run different scenarios through our minds, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. We all do this. However, it becomes a problem if this is the only strategy that you have to make decisions and to choose a direction in which you want your business to go, to choose the way and commit to the way that you want to show up. If we're only doing it from the level of the mind, it is like you are weightlifting with only one arm. Now there's a reason that this happens, and that is because we've been conditioned in the world that we live in. By and large, we are conditioned that our logic and our linear thinking and our go, go, go energy, those things have value. This is what moves the needle, and we have been conditioned to prize these strengths. But as much as we are then exercising this one aspect of ourselves, this one aspect of our strengths, we are neglecting the other part, our intuitive part, our radiant part, our creative nonlinear parts that aren't logical and strategic. So we are relying only on this one aspect of our decision-making facilities, and in the process, we become lopsided. And not only that, this is also what's causing us to go backwards and forwards. So if you are constantly mulling over decisions in your head, if you find yourself that you commit to a, a course of action and then you doubt yourself and then you take a step back and then you replan and you reanalyze everything and then you decide, okay, this is what you're going to do, and then you start doing it and then you retreat again and you end up sitting with a decision more than actually doing something and getting moving, then it could very likely be because you are only relying on the level of the mind to solve the problem. And this happens to all of us. I, in my own life, a few years ago, I had the experience where I was looking or having to choose between, let's call it two courses of action in my business. And it was really very difficult for me to finally commit to any direction. And I couldn't understand why I had so much trouble in making what on paper looked like a very simple decision. But I was literally, on some days I felt completely overwhelmed by the choices that I had to make, and I felt overwhelmed by the situation that I found myself in. And on other days I would just completely ignore what was going on and just bite through. And it was a very frictional emotional and tense and stressful time in my business because I was basically churning water. I was spinning in circles and I wasn't really moving forward. And then when I finally stopped and sat myself down and looked under the hood to see what was actually going on here, I discovered something that surprised me, and that was that I was holding a lot of resentment and blame that I was holding towards the fact that I found myself in this situation and towards the fact that I had to now make some decisions on how to move forward. And the blame and the resentment was flooding all of my logical reasoning in terms of which course of action was going to be the best for my business. And fortunately, I have the tools through my embodiment coaching, the modalities that I use on my clients. I also use them on myself because they really, really work. And so with these tools, I was able to dissolve this blame and resentment, and that allowed me then to move forward with more ease and to actually get going instead of being in this perpetual backwards-forwards motion. And so this resentment that I held, this is what I call scaffolding. And we all, when you find yourself in a situation where it's difficult for you to actually commit to a course of action and stay the course, I have seen time and again that there is most probably some scaffolding in place that is stopping you from moving forward. And I've identified 3 things that hold this scaffolding in place. The first thing is habitual disembodiment. The second thing is habitual external sourcing. And the third thing is habitual fix-it loops. And you'll see that I put habitual in front of all of this, because this is literally what it is, is we have fallen into a habit of using our energy and exerting our life force and moving forward in a way that is conditioned. It's habitual. And because it's conditioned, because it is a habit, we can of course change that at any point in time. So let me quickly just unpack what these three habits are, and then I'm going to take you through a process of how you can unpack this in your own life, how you can actually break down this scaffolding and get your full power online so that you can start making decisions from the inside out, locking onto that internal compass that we have instead of relying on external factors to help you decide. The scaffolding of habitual disembodiment is that we tend to live above the neck. So being disembodied means that we are not inhabiting our full selves. Because you have a body, you are always embodied to some extent. And the definition of embodiment that I love to use is that when you are embodied, you are inhabiting your full self. So you are inhabiting all aspects of you. You are inhabiting your darkness, you are inhabiting your light, you are loving and accepting and embracing all parts of you. And when you are embodied, you are leading with your whole self. So you're not only leading with your head, as we tend to do in this modern, modern life, but you are also leading with your feelings, your emotions, your inner knowing, and then of course the thoughts as part of that. And so when we are habitually disembodied, it only really means that we have gotten into the habit of living from the neck up. So we basically ignoring our body and we ignoring the data that is available in our bodies. And I'm gonna get to that data in a little bit. The second scaffolding that I see, as I said, is the habitual external sourcing. So this is where we are always sending our energy out away from ourselves. We're looking and tracking in the external world to see what everyone else is doing, how everyone else is responding to us. We are basically, and this is not in a bad way, but unconsciously we are manipulating and controlling people's perceptions of us. So we are concerned the whole time about how we are being received, how we are being perceived, And we assume that other people or other sources outside of ourselves have more authority. They have answers to the things that we need to know. And again, this is a habit. It's a habit of how you perceive yourself. It's a habit of how you relate to yourself, and it's a habit in terms of where you source your agency. And of course, what we want to do instead of sourcing it externally is we want to source that agency from the inside. And then the third kind of scaffolding is the habitual fix-it loop. This is where we treat our bodies and our emotions, the situations that we find ourselves in, the experiences that we have, our energy levels, the cycles that we go through, the nature of our emotions. We experience and treat this as problems that we need to solve, as things about ourselves that we need to fix. And if we go back to my definition of what it means to be embodied is when we inhabit our full selves. It means that we also inhabit those parts of ourselves and embrace those parts of ourselves that we would then typically, if we had a fix-it mindset, we would then actually try to change those things about ourselves instead of allowing us ourselves to be who we are as we are. And of course, these three scaffoldings are a direct byproduct of this hyper-masculine world that we live in. This world is causing us to disembodied and to wrong ourselves and judge ourselves for our natural and innate power. And when you don't trust your power, then you don't trust yourself. If you're not inhabiting your full self, including those messy and intense and demanding parts that the world has told you is too much or not enough, You're really only using half of your muscles. You're doing weightlifting with only one arm, right? And that is making you lopsided. Okay, so now we've identified that we can waste a lot of precious time going backwards and forwards on decisions, or that we struggle to commit to, that we struggle to commit to a course of action. We've identified that the reason for this is even though it might look or make sense on paper, there might be some internal scaffolding that's causing this backwards, forward action that's happening whenever you need to make decisions. And now I'm gonna share with you how you can actually begin to break down that scaffolding so that you can access this inner compass that we all have. We just need to learn how to tap into it. Now, what I'm gonna take you through now, this is exactly the stuff that I work with my one-on-one clients. The difference of course is that when you are in a one-on-one session with me, it's a lot easier and faster to clear out the scaffolding. So here's how it works. The very first thing that you're going to do, and we've already started with that in this episode, is to identify what scaffolding is in place. What is the underlying structure that is keeping your indecision and your lack of self-trust, I almost want to call it, what is keeping that in place? Now, sometimes this could be quite easy for you to land on the scaffolding. It could be something that's quite obvious, like you don't want to rock the boat or you're afraid of the consequences, but it could also be something that is a lot deeper, a very underlying belief system of I don't want to be a burden or I'm not being seen. This step is then really asking of you to do some, some internal work. And if we do this in the form of embodiment where we actually don't think about what it is that we're feeling, but we feeling what it is that we are feeling, then it makes that auditing a lot easier. The second thing that I always encourage my clients to do is a practice which I call Feed the Feminine First. And this is something that I learned from one of my mentors many years ago. The intention of a practice like Feed the Feminine First is to break this default masculine habit that we have of sending our awareness and our actions into logic, strategy, and doing. And what we want to do instead is we want to have some kind of ritual, and this is really up to you to design your ritual the way that you prefer it, something that really works and resonates with you. But what we want to do is you want to bring your awareness inwards and down into your body before sending your energy outwards. This is the principle of how we lead with our feminine and we let the masculine support. The third step is then really focused on unlocking this inner compass. And again, what we want to do is we want to stop thinking and we want to start feeling, but we don't only want to feel, we also want to let what we are feeling move through us. You might be familiar with the expression that emotions are energy in motion. And so All of the data that we can access below the neck, and I'm going to take you through the data points now, all of this data, we can move that through our bodies as well, through literal movement. And the reason why we want to do that is so that we can fine-tune our inner compass. The more effective we become in dropping into our bodies, dropping into the space below our neck and connecting into these 4 data points of our inner compass, the more effective we are in using that to guide our decisions, the less we wobble and the less we go backwards and forwards unable to commit. Okay, so here is how we do it, and you can follow along if you want to right now by closing your eyes if it's safe for you to do so. Like if you're driving or walking, don't close your eyes. And then perhaps you want to come back to this episode later. If you can though, close your eyes. And this really just serves to cut off that external distraction and then see if you can take your awareness into the area of your body below your chin. So from, from the chin down, and this is what you want to start looking for when you're down there, when you're inside your body, is you want to become aware of any sensations in your physical body. All right? So the sensation of your heart beating, it might be a tightness in your shoulder, it might be how your chest expands as you're breathing. It doesn't really matter what sensation it is that you land on. Just trust the process and begin to notice your physical body. The next thing that you want to pay attention to is you want to pay attention to how your thoughts our feeling. So even though our thoughts are a mental construct and it's something that happens in our mind, you can actually sense the texture and the sensation and the intensity of thoughts. For example, if you had to think about your dream holiday and you think about how you might be walking out on the beach or how you might be smelling the ocean, or you might be walking in a forest. If you think about that dream holiday, you can find and experience a physical response in your body. You might find that you feel a little bit more relaxed. You might notice that there's a longing or a yearning that comes up, maybe an excitement. So our thoughts are expressed through feelings and sensations in our body. And of course, because we are quite well trained in accessing our thoughts, it's quite typical that getting access to the feelings and the sensations of thoughts is something that happens easily. The third thing that you want to access and look out for when you are now inside your body, underneath your chin or from the chin down, is you want to feel the emotional constellations inside of you. And the way that you will experience an emotion is completely different to the way that I will experience that same emotion, for example. So to me, excitement might feel very light and open and bubbly, and I feel excitement over the back of my shoulder blades. Your experience of excitement as a physical feeling or sensation in your body might be different. And so you really want to get to know your unique language of your body. And then finally, the fourth thing that you want to pay attention to when you dip down below your neck is your energy or energetic vibe. So this, for example, could be how fast or how slow you're feeling, how close to yourself, how far away from yourself, how magnetic, how tuned in, how distant, and What's important to note with any one of these four dimensions of self that you get to contact once you drop into your body is that there is nothing right or wrong with any of your experiences. So whatever it is that you're feeling is absolutely perfect and meant for you. Now, if we go back to the story that I shared with you earlier, where I went to look under the hood, and I discovered that there was a lot of resentment and blame. I discovered that through going into these four dimensions of self. And now, how does this help us with our decisions? It helps you to discover the scaffolding that's there, and based on the responses in these four dimensions of self, this gives you a very accurate dataset to work with in terms of committing to a course of action, in terms of trusting the decisions that you've made. And so you're going to find that when you regularly inhabit your whole self in this way, when you tap into this inner compass, it saves you time and it saves you money. It gives you a level of clarity that you won't find anywhere You are no longer depending on the external world and other people's opinion of your worth, for example, or the validity of your actions, but you're truly following your own inner compass. And this is invaluable if you want to show up in a way that is sustained, if you want to make business decisions that's not going to cost you money, but it's going to bring money in instead. And what you will also notice is as you break down the scaffolding, As you inhabit more of yourself, you start taking up more space. Others can truly see you now, and they can be impacted by your magnificence. This is totally a process that you can take yourself through, but if you want someone to help you to do it faster and more on point, then of course I'm here to help you with that. So you can go and book your free discovery call. We can have a chat about the scaffolding that is stopping you from moving forward in the most time-effective and cost-effective way and make those decision-making processes easier. Thank you so much for joining me in this episode. I appreciate you so much being here, and I will speak to you in the next one. Bye.