87: Visibility Blocks That Stop You From Showing Up in Your Business Consistently

Do you dream about finding that strategy or content plan that's finally going to help you show up consistently in your business? 

If you’ve ever sat down to create content and suddenly gone blank, felt sleepy, or avoided checking your phone after publishing, this episode is  for you. You'll discover why visibility is not only about structure and strategy. It is really about your nervous system, your relationship with being perceived, and your capacity to let yourself be seen and received.

In this episode, we explore why spiritual women entrepreneurs struggle to show up consistently in their businesses, even when they have a strategy, a plan, and a deep desire to express themselves. You’ll learn the four biggest visibility blocks that can get in the way of business growth, why consistency needs to be defined by your own rhythm and capacity, and how to begin creating more internal safety so you can show up in a way that honours your season, your body, and your business.

Key Points:

• Why consistency doesn’t mean showing up daily or weekly and on every platform.
• How the fear of being too much or not enough can make visibility feel unsafe in your nervous system.
• Why tying your worth to your output, engagement, sales, or audience response can keep you from showing up.
• Why needing approval from others slows you down
• How running your business from your head can lead to disconnection from your body, perfectionism, procrastination, and patterns that look like self-sabotage but are actually self-protection

Keywords: visibility blocks in business, nervous system and visibility, spiritual women entrepreneurs, consistent visibility, being seen in business, visibility for spiritual entrepreneurs, business growth and nervous system safety, feminine embodiment in business, self-worth and visibility, embodied business visibility

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📌Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only.  It does not constitute therapy, medical advice or business coaching.

Transcript

Have you been dreaming about finding that strategy or that content plan that's finally going to help you with being more consistent in how you show up? If you have, then today's episode is for you. My name is Tertia and this is the Feminine Embodiment Podcast for spiritual women entrepreneurs. In today's episode we're going to dive into why women struggle to show up consistently in their businesses, even if they have a strategy, even if they have a plan and even if they deeply desire to be seen and to express themselves. 

I'm going to be sharing the four biggest blocks that my students have when it comes to being visible and I'm also going to be sharing one tip that you can apply right now to help you with your business growth. So it might be that you're finding yourself struggling to express yourself or fully showing up in the way that you want to in a certain area of your business. Or perhaps this is more of a long-standing pattern that has been present for most of your life and you're noticing that now it's impacting your business growth, it's impacting how you actually show up and it's time for you to do something about it. 

By the end of this episode you'll see that you don't necessarily need more structure or another strategy but you need a way to let yourself feel safe to be seen. So structure is so important. Of course we need that structure, especially if you're someone who tends to be a little bit all over the place and structure also allows us to measure our growth. 

It allows us to see how we're doing and it gives us something that our nervous systems can rest into to be safe. So structure is absolutely important but that's not the main ingredient in visibility. I also just want to, before I dive into these four areas, I want to just centre what I mean with consistency and so often in business when we hear the word consistency automatically what we tend to think is it means daily or weekly. 

So it is this continuous rhythm of being everywhere and showing up everywhere and being on all the platforms and that is absolutely not sustainable. No one can work like that especially if you don't have a team, if it's just yourself and your business or maybe you have one more person on your team, there's no way that you can sustain that. When I speak about consistency I'm speaking about being consistent in honouring your own capacity.

So it's not an external consistency or an external plan but the internal consistency of showing up in a way that honours your capacity, that honours how much energy you have and that even honours you where you are in your menstrual cycle since that also plays such a big role in terms of how much energy we have and how expressed we feel or how reserved we feel. Okay so with that being said let's dive into the four blocks. So the very first block is a little bit of a meta overview and that has to do with how many women carry this wound of either not being enough or being too much. 

So as soon as it's time for you to start marketing your business or to write that sales email or to write create a post or even to record a podcast, what happens is you hit a blank. You don't know what to say, you don't know what it is that you want to talk about. Perhaps you start feeling sleepy. When you do post, then you put your phone down and then you don't look at your phone for the whole day.  Or when you then pick up your phone the number of likes or comments that you have on your post determines then how you feel about yourself. And the other extreme is that you don't want to say too much in case people think that you are pushy. 

So we're having this internal dialogue that's running in the background all the time and that's affecting our ability to show up consistently.  


This dialogue that we have about being perceived as not enough or being perceived as too much, it activates your nervous system. It puts you in a state of high alert and so what we want to do is we want to teach our nervous systems in that moment when you are creating content there is not really any danger.
 
Practically what that looks like is the moment that you notice that you've got this physical response is you can put your feet down flat on the ground if that's accessible to you and feel the structure and the safety of the floor beneath you. 

You can also let your weight rest into the furniture beneath you or rest into the floor beneath you. And basically what we're doing is you're teaching and showing your nervous system that it's safe. You can even look around in the room that you're in and show that there's no physical danger in your environment. 

And the other thing that you can do is you can ask yourself in order for me to feel safer right now, what is it that I need? So maybe you want to put on a little jersey or grab a little blanket. Maybe you want to close the door. Just ask yourself what is it that I need to feel safer in this moment. 

So that's one practise that you can do to battle this sense of I'm too much, I'm not enough and it makes me feel unsafe. The second block that I see many of my students bump into is that they connect their self-worth to their output and to the response that they get. So the more people respond to their offers, the more people respond to their posts, the more people reply to their emails, the more valuable they feel. 
Now the relationship that you have towards being received by others and towards your output is going to make it very difficult for you to create any content if you connect high output and high response to high worth. 

You're always going to find a way not to put yourself in a position where your worth gets tested.

So let's say for example you have a full calendar this afternoon, full with client calls and so what you do is you decide to give yourself the morning off and in your mind you imagine that you're going to have a nice relaxing bubble bath or you might go for a walk or you might even just have a nice cup of tea and read a few chapters in your book. That's what you plan to do on this morning that you've given yourself free. 

But then what ends up happening is before you even know it you've ended up decluttering the entire kitchen. So you've got a beautifully tidy kitchen but you haven't filled your own cup, you haven't taken time for yourself.  

And as soon as we start measuring our worth on what happens in our external world, what you're basically doing is you're giving your power away.
That is one of the most insidious habits that we need to break as business owners because that is getting in the way of you showing up. Of course it's going to get in the way because your system, your nervous system, your subconscious mind is going to do whatever it can to protect itself. 

The season that you are in is going to determine so much in terms of what level of output you have and how visible you can be. If you are a mom with a young family, your level of output, how often you can show up, how consistent in quotation marks, how consistent you can be is going to be influenced by your young family. Your output is going to be completely different to someone who doesn't have any children or someone who has a team. 

I'm in a season now where both my kids are in middle school so now I have capacity, I've got more capacity to focus on my business and so what you can begin to do is start to honour the season that you are in. That's going to have a direct relation on your output as we've seen. This is a way in which you can bring the feminine into your business.

The feminine is always cycling through seasons and if you begin to honour the season that your business is in, what it allows you to do is in the seasons when you have more capacity, you've got more energy to bring into that and it deletes and takes away the judgement that we have against ourselves if we don't show up consistently, again in quotation marks, like someone else that we might compare ourselves to. So you want to honour your own rhythm, honour your own season and this is how you begin to untangle your worth from your output. So a question that you can ask yourself, a reflection you can sit with is to see what season are you in now, what season is your business in now and how is that affecting your visibility? Now visibility challenge number three is if you're trying to be visible but you still need people to approve of you. 

So when we are stepping into our visibility, it's not just our dream clients that's going to see us, right? It's also our past clients, it's the people who went to school with us, it's our peers, it's members in our family, our friends, those people who cheer for us but also the people who we are afraid might judge us. And so we have this whole collective baggage that we carry on the back of our shoulders and little voices in our heads that say what are people going to think? Are they going to approve of us? Part of our social nervous system is also to behave in ways that keep us safe and that helps us belong because that is how we used to survive. As soon as we start pandering to the approval of others, it gets in the way of your growth because it holds you back. 

In my own life when I switched from speaking to highly sensitive women which was really the audience that I spoke to at the beginning of my online business and when I switched into speaking about embodiment and the divine feminine, it took me very long to finally make that switch and claim that space because I was afraid of what people would say. I was afraid of disappointing my current audience. So it took me a lot longer to actually take that step than what it needed. 

Now there are other sneaky ways in which this shows up in your business. So if we are afraid to actually disappoint people, if we are afraid of not getting that approval that we crave, instead of actually taking the action and selling or letting ourselves be heard, what we do is we spend a lot of time behind the scenes. So you end up tweaking and retweaking and then tweaking again the copy on your website for example or you sit and use all your time to create offers. 

So you have a whole suite of different offers but you never sell any of them because you're constantly in offer creation or you spend days and days and days brainstorming the exact problem that you solve with your client. So you're waiting for this clarity to hit you before you take any action and I can deeply appreciate how uncomfortable it is if it feels like something that we're going to do will disappoint people and so again there's something that we want to dismantle in our internal world. We want to change the relationship that we have to how we are perceived. 

Now something that one of my mentors shared with me and I'm going to share that with you that has really stayed with me is she told me that it's her business and she can do what she wants in her business and that's such a freeing thought to think about. So let me ask you this question. If you stopped contorting yourself and putting yourself into shapes and showing up in ways in which you think your audience wanted to receive you, if you stopped doing that, what would you be free to create instead? And then the very final block that I see we struggle with so much when it comes to visibility is because we run our businesses from our heads. 

So modern life has most of us in this habit that we tend to send our energy up into our heads and away from ourselves. So we spend a lot of time using our logic and our rational mind and our outward focus and our strategy and planning and measurements to move forward in the world and that's fantastic. So we want to move forward, right? We want to go after our goals. 

The problem is however is that if we get in the habit of always sending our energy upwards and away from ourselves, we're effectively cutting ourselves off from the neck down. So we lose contact and connection with everything that happens below the body. And here's the thing, if your attention is always directed away from you, when you lose contact and connection with the feelings and the sensations in your body, your nervous system, your body starts to feel unsafe. 

And so you might not in your mind think, oh I'm feeling unsafe. But what happens is you've got this low constant hum in the background that keeps your nervous system in high alert. It becomes a habit, right? So you feel habitually unsafe, you feel habitually disconnected. 

And if we're there in short bursts of time, we can use that go energy to get things done. However, if we tend to spend most of our time there, what happens is you can tip over into survival mode. And when we are in survival mode, it is not safe for us to be seen because we need to survive. 

We need to either fight our way out of the situation that we're in or we need to run away. So your body and your nervous system is going to do everything it can to get you back to safety. So you can think of as a mama bear who is protecting her cubs. 

So she's going to demolish anything and anyone that gets close to them. And your nervous system and your subconscious mind function in the same way, except they don't focus on what's out there, but they turn on you. So this is when you're in a critic and that perfectionism and the procrastination and the drive to do things in a certain way and that feeling of stuckness. 

All of these are patterns that come up in order to keep you safe. So we have these very sophisticated strategies in place and it looks like rewriting a post 15 times just to get the words exactly right or spending three hours doing something instead of the 20 minutes that it's actually supposed to take you. And I get so upset when I hear people speak about, oh, I'm sabotaging myself. 

And I know that's just the way in which we express it, but it's not really sabotaging as much as it is self-protection. And so what we want to do if you find yourself in a pattern like this is you want to learn how to come into your body so that you can create that internal safety to be yourself so that you can be seen. This is what I teach all of my students in my eight week group programme Magnetic Visibility Accelerator. 

You have to be safe to be yourself. Now, something that you can do right now at home is to begin to train your body or to train yourself rather to bring your energy into your body and to counter this habit that we have of always sending our energy upwards into our heads and away from yourself. And it's really so simple. 

You can do this every morning. I do it every morning when I wake up. I do hip circles and it's just really to begin to train myself. 

This is what it feels like to be in my body. And you can do this in the morning when you get up. You can do it in the shower. 

You can do it while you brush your teeth. And this is going to help you to begin to get into the habit of dropping down into your body so that you can start to cultivate that sensitivity for the feelings and the sensation in your body. Your body is beautifully wise and intelligent. 

And just as much as we have these sophisticated strategies that can work against us, we can employ that same intelligence to have strategies that work for us. So I truly hope that if you have been struggling with showing up consistently or being more visible or saying what it is that you really mean, that what I've shared with you in this episode has changed your perception and has given you some new ideas on how to finally show up and be seen. The key thing that I want to leave you with is that you need to feel safe to be seen. 

That is the foundational thing. And until you feel safe to be seen, there's no strategy or no mindset protocol that is actually going to help you in the long term. Because when you feel safe to be seen, you also feel safe to be received. 

You feel safe in receiving. You feel safe enough, even if others might perceive you as too much. And you feel safe enough to know that you are enough. 

I love hearing back from you. So DM me or if you're watching the video, send me a comment and tell me what landed for you in today's episode. As always, thank you so much for joining me. 

I appreciate you and I'll speak to you in the next one. Bye!