Do you ever wish that your dream clients could see your work and feel your magic and go, yes, this is exactly what I want? Do you want to stop feeling like you have to convince others or constantly prove yourself or even over-deliver in order to be chosen? Well, stick around because in today's episode, I'm going to talk about what it takes for you to be seen, received and paid by the clients that are right for you. My name is TerTia and this is the Feminine Embodiment for Spiritual Business Owners podcast. It's a show where I teach you how to show up with more confidence, how to claim your feminine power for success and how to work in more embodied ways.
Now, I think if we've been in business for any amount of time, we all have experienced a point where we just wished our clients would choose us just for it to be easy for them to just say, yes, I want to work with you. Yes, you're the one that I want to support me. And often we think that in order for that to happen, we need to have the perfect secret strategy in place like there's some strategy out there, whether it's how you write your sales page or how you construct your offers or how you show up on social media.
There's a strategy out there that's going to make that happen for you. And yes, while strategies are so important for any online business, there's something deeper going on here. The question of how can I get clients to choose me is a powerful one.
But for me, the question of how can I receive my clients to choose me is even more powerful. And that's what we're unpacking in this episode. I think for us as sensitive, intuitive, spiritual women in business, often the idea of being chosen and being received, it has a lot of fear around it as much as being rejected or being judged.
And so what we do is we unconsciously set ourselves up not to be chosen, not to be chosen. You need two things. You need clarity, which is what you get from your strategies, right? Your full expression in terms of what your offer is, how you can create transformation for your clients and to share that in a way so that they feel seen.
We also need apart from the clarity, we also need capacity. And here I'm talking about nervous system and energetic capacity, the ability to hold ourselves while we are being seen, the ability to inhabit the full spectrum of ourselves and letting that full expression of ourselves go out into the world and move through our businesses, the ability to feel worthy and have the capacity to receive money for the transformations that we create for others. Because your clients don't only respond to your offer, they're also responding to who you are being inside that offer as you share about that offer and express that offer into the world.
They are responding to the embodiment of your self-worth. And so the relationship that you have with yourself is one of the most important key ingredients in having a business. And your business is going to time and time and time again reflect the relationship that you have with yourself.
You're always going to bump up against the question of, is my work valuable enough? Is the price that I'm charging the right price? Am I not charging too much or am I not charging too little? Is my voice worth hearing? Am I worthy of people choosing me to support them in their transformation? And so we have these, as I said, these things that we do unconsciously to prevent ourselves from not being chosen. And what it looks like in your business is potentially it looks like this. You are very comfortable and very confident to help people for free.
So you put out a lot of free offers even with your friends or acquaintances or people that you are connected with on social media. You're always putting free stuff out. But the moment that you consider to start charging for your work, you have all of these excuses coming up like you're not experienced enough or you need enough time or even more insidious ones that says it's not really right for you to charge for this.
It just makes you feel incredibly uncomfortable if you start thinking about asking for money and you much prefer doing things for free. However, that's not what you really want. Another thing that might be a sign that we are unconsciously setting ourselves up for not being chosen is our relationship with receiving praise or compliments.
How difficult or how easy is it for you to receive praise for your work or for a transformation that you've created or for something that you've done? Instead of just saying thank you, what you immediately do is you throw it back at them, you compliment them, you affirm them, you recognise something of theirs, you downplay what they say and you say well it wasn't such a big deal or it's not really so important or it wasn't so difficult to do that. And so I'm curious what is your relationship to receiving recognition and to receiving compliments and praise? The third telltale sign is when you get very excited when someone enquires about your work, so they're booking a sales call or they might even sign up for one of your offers, they might connect with you on DMs to enquire about working with you and your initial reaction is extreme excitement and then as soon as the excitement flares up, it goes away in panic and anxiety and a sense of oh my goodness now I'm going to have to deliver, oh my goodness, what if I can't do this? And then the fourth the fourth way in which this can show up is when you feel guilty about charging for your work because this is something that comes naturally to you, it's a talent or a gift that you have and the idea to actually ask people for money doesn't sit right with you. You might even have a conversation internally that says that asking money to heal or to do transformational work, that's not spiritual or it means that you are selfish or you're not a good person.
And then the very final way in which this can show up in your business is if you find yourself quite comfortably talking about your work and telling others about your work but you never go over to actually making the sale. So you're almost keeping everyone at an arm's distance telling them about the work that you do but you never allow anyone to come closer and actually buy from you, sign up with you and pay you. So let's look now at three things, there's three things that I want to share with you that's going to support you if you find that you might have been unconsciously setting yourself up to not be chosen and you find yourself in the season of desiring more.
There are three things that we need to consider. The very first thing has to do with boundaries. Now often when we talk about boundaries immediately we think about the boundaries on the external world, right? We're thinking about the boundaries between you and another person.
So boundaries has to do with what you are available for and what you're not available for. But we don't only have boundaries externally with people, we also have boundaries with ourselves and often what I see with many of my clients is this, we have a double standard when it comes to boundaries. So you might have a set of boundaries in place externally of how you allow other people to treat you, engage with you, speak to you, there's one set of boundaries there.
But then when it comes to yourself and the boundaries that you have with yourself, there's a complete lack of boundaries where you break your word to yourself, you tell yourself you are going to do something and then you don't, you push yourself a lot harder than what you need to, maybe you're working extremely long hours without taking care of yourself, without nourishing yourself. You might even have an extremely toxic inner critic, this voice that speaks to you in horrible, horrible ways that you would never in your life allow anyone to speak to you like that and yet you speak to yourself like that. I've seen a link between when we have poor inner boundaries and our self-worth.
So the link is this, the stronger our worth and our value in ourselves are, the stronger we stand in ourselves, the better are the internal boundaries that we can hold and the external boundaries. If we have this shaky, sandy foundation on which our self-worth is built, anything that happens in the external world can actually smash that to pieces and then what we typically tend to do is we start doing actions and behaviours and we start making choices to anchor our self-worth again, but we're looking for that outside. And whenever our self-worth starts feeling like this, what happens is we begin to negotiate with our own truth.
So you start showing up in ways that is not really true to who you are, you start making decisions that's not aligned with who you are and you start making business choices that you wouldn't necessarily do. And so the question that I have for you is, where in your business are you crossing or stepping over one of your own internal boundaries in order to make it easier to be chosen? The second thing when it comes to being chosen has to do with how much of yourself are you allowing to be seen. People need to see you in order to choose you and yet this is something that we trip up against because we then tend to show up as a curated version of ourselves, we show up as a contorted palatable version of ourselves, we show up in ways that we think our audience or our clients wants us to be seen.
If we go, okay I'm not going to hide who I am, I'm going to show all of myself, we tend to think that this means I have to bear it all, I have to be raw and you know create an online diary of my life for everyone to have insight to and that's not what I mean either. In order to let yourself be seen, you have to see yourself first, you have to inhabit yourself first, you have to inhabit the full spectrum of who you are, your light and your dark and your shadows and your brilliance and you have to unpack all of those parts that people told you is not good enough or you should be ashamed of or you need to change that in order to be acceptable and once we've unpacked all of that, when we can stand fully rooted in who we are, this is when we can show up with our true voice and in our true expression because our clients don't only buy our offers or what they read on a sales page, they're buying from us, they're resonating with the energy and who we are being when we engage with them in our marketing and our expression and if you keep on over editing yourself, if you keep on making yourself small and palatable, there's not much left of you for clients to resonate with and so we want to truly show up in the fullest expression of who we are. And then number three on my list of how to let yourself be chosen has to do with receiving and the nervous system.
So let's just talk about receiving. Often when we hear the word receiving, it conjures up perhaps images of just sitting back and let things fall into your lap and not having to take any action but that's not what I mean by receiving. Receiving is an action, receiving is a state that we inhabit in our nervous systems, it's a state that we inhabit in our mindset, our actual physical body feels different when we are receptive, when we're receiving, we're feeling softer, we're not bracing or tensing up.
When we talk about the nervous system, I think many times we might have this idea that the nervous system only reacts to bad things because most of us know and if you are a regular listener here then you are well aware that our nervous system has the sole purpose to protect us and keep us safe and so we might assume that it's going to react to bad things. But here's the thing, your nervous system doesn't react to only bad things, it reacts to anything that isn't known. If you can imagine that you have a cocoon around you which is your comfort zone, everything, every interaction, every experience, every conversation, every decision that has happened inside that cocoon is a known factor.
So your body, your nervous system, your subconscious mind knows that it has negotiated and navigated this and it has survived, so this is safe. Everything that's outside of the circle is the unknown and so whenever we are expanding into that next level of who we are, that next version of ourselves, what happens is we need to step outside of that comfort zone. You cannot have that next level of income, that next level of growth, that next level of success by staying exactly who you are and where you are.
Your identity needs an up level and new feels very uncomfortable for your nervous system, so most likely you are going to do everything that you can unconsciously to try and prevent the new perceived danger in quotation marks of happening to you. You want to create a new normal, a new normal where you get paid very well for your work, a new normal where you feel fully expressed when you show up, a new normal where you are confident when you are visible and that is not mindset and that is not strategy, that happens on the level of the nervous system. So I have a practise that I am going to give you for this week.
The invitation is by the end of this week to send me a DM and to let me know how this practise went for you. So the practise is about embodying that version of you that is chosen. This is a practise that I do all the time when I want to up level my identity.
It's something that you can play with, you can't do it wrong and it really is a lot more powerful than what you might think. Grab your journal and then in your journal you free write for a few minutes on these questions. If you were free to show up as your most expressed and authentic self and you didn't care about whether this version of you would be chosen, you were just free to express and show up as who you truly are, what would you do differently? What would change in terms of how you interact with people, how you show up online and how you spoke about your work? The second question to journal on is what would it look like if you were fully rooted in your work, if you were standing firmly behind the value of your offers and you charged accordingly, what would that look like? How would you show up and create content, have sales conversations, network and express about your work if you knew that being chosen was inevitable since you have already chosen yourself? And so after you've taken some time to journal on this and it might be a good idea for you to pause this episode to journal, go through the questions again and then once you've taken three or four minutes to journal on this then you can carry on listening.
So once you've done the journaling, what you want to do is you want to actually embody this version of yourself and this is what makes the practise so powerful because what we've just done now was a bit of a cognitive exercise. So it's done on the level of the mind and you're visualising and you're imagining what this looks like and that is very powerful but if you combine that with actually bringing that into the body and feeling it somatically, it actually supercharges the effects and the results. So you can go ahead and close your eyes and this is simply to bring your awareness inwards and then reflect back about what you wrote, this version of you that's chosen, that's standing rooted in her self-worth, that has chosen herself already, that is in right relationship with herself, that is not afraid to speak up and express as the full spectrum of who she is and that stands deeply and unwaveringly behind her work.
How would she move through her day? How would she dress? How would she speak to herself? How would she engage and interact with other people? How would she show up in client calls? How would she show up when she's having a sales conversation? Play around with this and see what does this feel like inside you to be this woman. What posture does she take? What would her voice sound like? What shape would her body take? And then once you've got a good sense in your body, in terms of what she feels like, this version of you, then you can go ahead and choose one action, one way of dressing, one way of conversing, one way of engaging. You can choose one small thing that you can bring into the 3D world, what you can actually do this week and then see what happens.
And then, as I said, let me know by the end of the week what your experience was. It might also be a great idea for you, if you haven't yet done so, to take my free visibility archetypes quiz. This quiz is going to identify what your visibility archetype is and it's also going to show you how you can show up more consistently, more confidently and more magnetically in your business.
I'm going to leave the link for that for you in the show notes. If you are in a season where you're ready to be seen and you are ready to be received, there's one final question that I am going to leave you with. And the question is, which parts of yourself are you hiding that needs to be fully seen and received by others so that you can be chosen by the right clients for you? Thank you so much for joining me in this episode today.
I appreciate you so much and I'll see you in the next one. Bye!
