Do you want to be the most confident woman in the room so that when you show up and you share vulnerably and authentically, you feel completely at home in yourself and you don't shrink or pull back or disappear when people start paying attention? If so, then today's episode is for you. My name is Tertia. This is Feminine Embodiment for spiritual business owners. It's the show where I teach you how to be more confidently visible, how to tap into your feminine power for success, and how to work in more embodied ways as you grow your business. I want to start off by saying that we are standing on the edge of a massive opportunity, and it has to do with AI. So if you are. If you have to do any kind of marketing for your business, you probably have seen how much AI content is available out there. And AI can basically do everything for you at this point. It can write your captions, it can create graphics, it can write scripts, it can even edit. And unfortunately, or maybe fortunately for us, what has happened is there is such a flood of very generic, very bland content that is just spread everywhere over social media and over all the marketing channels. This has caused us to start having AI filters, which basically means that we dismiss out of hand whenever we see something that has obviously been created by AI. And this is where the opportunity lies, because there's never been a better time for you, the woman behind the brand, to actually step up into your visibility and share your voice and your face with your people. That is something that AI will never be able to replicate. And especially now, where there is a trust recession, people are not buying the way that they used to. It's more important than ever for us to create that trust and connect with our audience. And showing up live, whether it is actually live on social media or creating podcasts or recording videos or doing workshops or events, this is where the gold lies. This is where the connection lies, and this is where we can really create transformation with our audience. So that's why there's never been a better time to be more visible. And perhaps you even know this yourself. And yet there is this little gremlin that is in the way of you stepping up fully. Because even if you know that you need to be more confident and you need to be more visible, you won't necessarily feel safe enough to do so. Now, before I dive into what this feels fear of, visibility entails and how we can actually work through that and heal that, I want to pause and tell you about a free virtual workshop that I am hosting. It's called make visibility easier. And it is especially for you if you deeply desire to show up more confidently and be more visible. But this is something that feels so hard to do. I'm going to leave the link for you down in the description and I do hope that you will join us. So back to the episode. Let's talk about what fear of visibility is now. It's not only people who are introverts or people who are typically shy that fear being visible, the fear of visibility is really this incredible terror that we feel at the idea of. Of being seen for who we truly are as being seen as our truest, most raw, most authentic selves. Because we fear that we will be received as not enough or we'll be received as too much. And so this anticipation of how we will be received is what keeps this fear locked in place. And it shows up in so many different ways in our business. I think one of the most telling ways in which it can show up is through procrastination. That thing of where we don't do what we supposed to do when we're supposed to do it. We always putting it off. And it can be something as simple as receiving a DM and then instead of answering and responding right there and then in the moment, putting your phone down and telling yourself, I'll get to it later. So it can be small things like this and of course it can go over into our bigger things as well, where we keep on putting off our dream project or we keep on putting off connecting with that one person that we need to in order to move our business forward. Forward. And so procrastination is not a bad thing. What it is is it's telling us there's something happening in the background that's preventing you from actually moving forward. So when you procrastinate, that's data. That's something that you can work with. Some of the other ways in which it can show up is when you look at other people maybe doing lives, doing recordings, showing up and you go, oh, I'll never be able to do that. So these stories that you tell yourself about what you're able and not able to do, and there's an additional layer for us as women because for thousands of years we've been taught that being seen is dangerous. We've been told that when we take up space, it means that we arrogant. And we've been taught that if we are going to show up, we need to do it in a way that's absolutely perfect so that people won't Find fault with us and confirm that terrible secret that we have where we believe that we aren't good enough or that we are too much. And so no wonder it is so hard for us to show up. And perhaps you even know this about yourself. You know that you might have this fear of being visible and fear of being seen. And so you might have even worked towards it and tried something to be more confident, but somehow it doesn't stick and it doesn't stay and it's not lasting. Even if it only helps for a little bit. This fear always keeps on coming back. And that is because so often we work only on the level of the mind. So we believe that our thoughts create our behaviors, so our thoughts create our emotions and our emotions create our behaviors. And that is not completely true, although it's partly true. So your thoughts can create emotions and actions coming from those emotions, but your emotions can create thoughts which then create actions. And not only that, your thoughts and your emotions don't just float around randomly. They live in your body. More specifically, they live in the nervous system. And your nervous system is what holds these patterns of your mindset and your emotions in place. All of these beliefs that you picked up from when you were a tiny little baby until the most recent experiences in your life about your worth and your value and your deservability and how much space you're allowed to take up and how expressed you're allowed to be, all of that lives in the nervous system. And so if we are just going to use things like visualization and journaling and affirmations to try and put new thoughts into our minds, what we're doing is we just layering it over the existing foundation, over the existing nervous system pattern. And the thing is, your pattern, that thing that is hooked in your nervous system is always going to win. So if you desire to be more confident, if you desire to step into this next level of you, if you want to show up in a way where you create bigger impact and where you reach more people, you have to start creating the space for that in your nervous system. Working on the mindset alone is not enough. Now, what I've come to see in my work with women, in work with myself, is that the fear of visibility that we hold is directly linked to our self worth. And there's a correlation that the lower our self worth, the less we accept ourselves, the more we struggle with being visible. And so I'm going to share with you now four things that you can start doing right now, today to start healing your Visibility wound as it relates to your self worth. So the very first key when it comes to healing visibility wounds has to do with self trust. Trust that we put in ourselves, in the permission that we give ourselves to be who we are, to show up in our truth, to show up fully expressed. What tends to happen though, is that we look for permission outside of ourselves. We look for others to tell us that who we are is okay, that who we are is acceptable. The actions that we take are good actions and acceptable actions, and they approve of us. And so as long as we are looking for that approval outside of ourselves, that basically translate into saying, I don't trust myself to know that what I have to offer and what it is that I have to say and how much space I'm allowed to take up, I don't trust myself that it is enough. And that's why we wait until we feel ready before we take any action. That's why we dilute our message and we don't say what it is that we really want to say. That's why we contort ourselves so that we don't make other people feel uncomfortable. Now, a practice that I love for developing self trust is really getting to know what the yes and the no in your body feels like. And this is why it's so important to develop body sensitivity. In fact, it's one of the first things that I teach my students in my magnetic visibility accelerator. When we develop this body sensitivity, it allows you to get into contact with the feelings and the sensations in your body. And this is like your internal GPS so that you can start feeling your yes and your no. And it doesn't matter if you're a very visual person or if you're a very logical person, Everyone can learn the skill of becoming sensitive to the feelings and the sensations in their body. And when you can feel this yes and no in your body, what this does is it roots you in your own authority. And you notice that you no longer start looking for permission outside of yourself to show up as who you are. So this is how we develop self trust. The second key to healing your fear of being visible is self acceptance. If you want to be visible, fully visible, you need to stop editing yourself. Now, there's a difference between being visible and being seen. We can be visible, we can be loud, we can be all over the place, but that doesn't really let us be seen. And for you to create not only that connection with your audience so that they are drawn to work with you, but for you to do it in A way that's easy and that feels pleasurable. You need to fully accept who you are. Because if you accept who you are, then others accept who you are. There's 8 billion people on the planet. You are not for everyone. Imagine if all 8 billion people wanted to connect with you and create that relationship with you. It's, it's excessive, it's, it will never happen and it won't work. And so it's a good thing that we. Not for everyone. And if you fully accept who you are and you show up as that full spectrum self, then this also helps those people who are meant for you to find you. The third key to healing your fear of being visible has to do with comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to other people in your space is a visibility wound. And it looks like spending so much time looking at what other people are doing, comparing yourself to them, and then deciding based on what you see that you are behind, you're not enough. You're never gonna make it. Or why should you even try? Nobody even cares. And we fall into this downward spiral where we actually talk ourselves out of being visible. Here's the truth. If you are going to compare yourself to someone else, one of two things is always going to happen. That person is either going to be ahead of you or that person is going to be behind, behind you. And comparison has its place, right? Because how we, when we compare ourselves to others, this is a way in which we can measure our own progress. This is a way in which we can measure how we are doing. So it's a good thing if it stays on the level of I'm measuring myself against myself and just checking in what's happening in the outside world. When we start to find that we are less worthy because we are not as far as someone else, this is when it becomes a problem. And this is actually where your brain can start working against you if you're not careful. Because your brain is geared to find proof of those things in which you believe, those things in your worldview that you believe to be true. And so if you are going to be looking for ways in which you don't measure up, if you're going to be looking for ways in which you are behind or not good enough, guess what? You're going to find those ways. And it could be that there are 20 examples of where you are good enough and where you do measure up and where you excel even. But there might be one example of where you don't. And this is the example that your brain is going to find because it's its job to do that. Now of course I have a practice for this. So if you ever find yourself in this situation where you're realizing that you comparing yourself to other people and that you finding that you're not measuring up, you want to start using this ability of your brain of looking for proof. So I have a file where I have a whole host of comments and testimonials and conversations that I've had with my clients over the years. And whenever I feel that I need a little bit of a boost or a little bit of a reminder of how well I actually do measure up, then I read through this file and I read all of these comments because it's so funny how we tend to forget about the success that we have and we are much more inclined to remember all of the things that didn't work out. And so it's such a wonderful and easy little practice to have. It makes you feel really good when you do that. The final key that I want to share with you is one that brings all of this together. Key number four in healing. Your fear of being visible has to do with ritual and embodiment of slowing down enough and getting out of your head and into your body. In this hyper masculine world that we live in, the masculine is really prized. So producing and optimizing and going forward and always growing. And there is 100 a place for this, but it cannot be the only thing. And this is not where our self worth lives. If you are going to attach your worth to your external accomplishments and to the things that you achieve on the outside, the moment that those things aren't there, your self worth is going to collapse. And so our self worth actually lives in the body. This is the true root of where our enoughness is. And it's deeply connected to our feminine. It's deeply connected to that feeling, flowing essence of us. And we can access this through rituals. So one of the most beautiful things that you can do is to bring ritual in your body, to honor your feminine essence, to honor your creativity, to honor that magnetic and radiant and pleasure filled aspects of you. And it doesn't have to be a complicated ritual. It can be the ritual that you go through in the mornings when you get up. So instead of immediately going onto social media and looking at your numbers and falling into that comparison trap again, find something else to do instead where you can connect with yourself. Maybe it's taking a few minutes to do a moving meditation, which is something else that I teach my clients. Maybe it is sitting with a cup of tea or coffee and just noticing the flavours, the warmth and the taste. Bringing your senses online. You can bring ritual in when you are doing client calls. So before the client call starts, you can drop into your body, you can maybe light a candle. You can set up your space in such a way where it really feels like a sacred space where you are meeting with with your client, even if it is online. When you come to the end of your workday, you can create a ritual to symbolize and signify the end of the workday, either by shutting off your computer or by closing your office door or even changing your outfit. There's so many different things that we can do with intention that connects us into our body, that allows us to slow down, and that allows us to claim more of our feminine essence. And in doing this, our enoughness, our inhabiting of the full spectrum of who we are, can take root. The thing that I want you to take away from this episode is that now more than ever, the world needs your voice. And I know you know that. The world needs you to show up in your magnificence, in the full spectrum of who you are. Your clients need you to show up in that way so that they can find you. If there's one thing I know about you, it's this. You have so much to offer, and it's time that you give yourself permission to do so now. I love hearing from you. As always. Please send me a DM and tell me your takeaways from today's episode. Share this episode on social media and tag me. I'd love to say hello. Thank you so much for joining me and I'll speak to you in the next one. Bye.
