182: 3 Life-Changing Lessons About Guilt, Boundaries, and Authenticity with Tricia Corso

3 Life-Changing Lessons About Guilt, Boundaries, and Authenticity.

Today I’m joined by licensed clinical social worker and lifestyle coach, Tricia Corso. Tricia shares her powerful journey of leaving behind the “supposed to’s” of life in New York to create a more aligned, authentic life in Colorado.

Together, we explore the themes of guilt, people pleasing, authenticity, and how to quiet the voices of external expectations so you can finally hear your own.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• How guilt often shows up when you start honoring your truth—and why it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
• Why people pleasing is really a form of self-abandonment and how it keeps you small.
• How to step into authenticity, even when it means disrupting others’ expectations.
• The role of unspoken cultural and familial “shoulds” in shaping your choices—and how to break free.
• Practical ways to identify your voice, values, and desires amidst the noise of other people’s opinions.

Challenge for the Week
Notice where guilt or “shoulds” are steering your choices. Ask yourself: Whose voice is this? Is it truly yours—or an inherited belief? Then take one small step this week to honor your own values, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Work With Me
If you’re ready to break free from people pleasing and start living life on your own terms, I’d love to support you. Book a free clarity call with me today: https://calendly.com/maryannwalkerlife/freeconsult.

✨ I'm currently offering 6 and 12 week 1:1 coaching packages where we’ll dive deep into the limiting beliefs shaping your life and create space for growth, clarity, and connection.

🎯 Ready to reserve your 6 or 12 week package? email me at maryann@maryannwalker.life

Don’t Forget to Subscribe:
Be sure to follow the podcast so you don’t miss next week’s episode. We’ll keep exploring emotional boundaries, mindset shifts, and how to change your life completely—especially for those who feel deeply and love big.

Let’s Stay Connected:
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maryannwalker.life/
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maryannwalker.life
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maryannwalker.life

*Don’t Forget to Subscribe*
If this conversation resonated with you, make sure you hit “subscribe” so you never miss an episode.

Links Mentioned in This Episode:
Connect with Tricia Corso on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amongwildflowerstherapy/

Transcript

MaryAnn Walker: 0:17

well, hello and welcome back to Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker. I am your host, and I help women to break free of their people pleasing tendencies and just start living life on their own terms again, which is exactly why I have invited Tricia Corso here. Thank you so much for coming on, Tricia.

Tricia Corso: 0:32

Thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited to talk to you today.

MaryAnn Walker: 0:35

you today. Oh, I'm excited too. Yeah, so Tricia and I have been mutuals on social media for quite some time now, and I just love her work. She totally resonated. I think we have very similar audiences, so if you like my stuff, you'll like her stuff and vice versa. But she has had a really unique life experience that I thought all of us would benefit from just hearing about. So, Tricia, would you mind telling us a little bit about you?

Tricia Corso: 0:59

of course. Um, yeah, so. My name's Trisha Corso. I am a licensed clinical social worker and a lifestyle coach. I currently live in Denver, Colorado, but I'm originally from New York, which is all part of my story that you'll hear about. And yeah, I've, been a therapist for about 10 years and. Been coaching for a couple of years now. That's been a new thing for me. But yeah, similarly to what you said, I work with ambitious women to define success on their own terms and build a life that reflects it. So it's a lot of just working with women in finding their truth, their voice, what their real desires are, and giving them permission to finally get after it.

MaryAnn Walker: 1:43

Yeah. And I'm assuming from what I know about you, that it's your story that kind of led you to work with that group of women. Would you say that that's true, or how did you find yourself working with this group?

Tricia Corso: 1:55

Yes. Um, it is part of that, which took me some time to figure that out of, you know, why I felt so passionate or driven to help this specific, niche or, woman experiencing these certain things. But basically. Yeah, I felt like, I did all the things I was supposed to do. Checked all the boxes. Went to college, got my master's, graduated with my master's, applied to jobs. I was living in New York at the time. Um. Um, and something just like didn't feel right. I was like, I did all the things I was supposed to do, but why am I feeling off or I'm not feeling as fulfilled or as happy as I thought I would at this point.'cause I'm like, now it's kind of open-ended on what I'm supposed to do with my life. And that just made me think a lot more of where I was living. I love New York, but it was not like the lifestyle necessarily that I am drawn to. And I had a friend from college move to Colorado and I had visited her a couple of times and I was like, wow, this place is beautiful. So much nature. It was slower paced, it wasn't as expensive. So a lot of things where I was like, okay, this might be something that I'm feeling called to go after. And so I applied to jobs in Colorado as well and ended up getting a job offer there and accepted that because I was able to like live independently, have that connection to nature, that's super important to me. Not be as fast paced or stressed. Like I li I lived in the city and I felt like I was like constantly anxious of like, am I gonna make this subway? Why is this person walking so slow? I gotta get to the, this place by this time. And it was, I just felt tense while I was there. So I needed to slow down and I recognize that. So yeah, I want to help women do more of that.'cause it's hard work. You have to fight through a lot of different beliefs or, you know, patterns or things that might be holding you back.

MaryAnn Walker: 4:03

I think so many people are gonna relate to that feeling of, well, I did everything I was supposed to,

Tricia Corso: 4:08

Mm-hmm.

MaryAnn Walker: 4:09

the boxes, I'm still not happy. And I, think it's interesting, and I just wanna really put a spotlight on it, that you had some signs internally that, okay, well something's not quite right. Like when you look on paper, I've checked all the boxes. I'm supposed to be happy

Tricia Corso: 4:26

Yep.

MaryAnn Walker: 4:27

but that you started to recognize for yourself, I'm feeling anxious and maybe what I need is different than what boxes I have checked on paper. And I'm curious for you, when it comes to the supposed tos and the shoulds who wrote your list, because it's different for everybody, right? Whose rule book were you following?

Tricia Corso: 4:45

such a good question because a lot of the work that I do with, um, my clients is like, whose voice are you listening to right now? Who is actually speaking? Is it you or is it someone else who taught you that or somewhere? And you learn this from like, is it actually you, do you actually believe what you're telling yourself right now? So, yeah, it wasn't my voice that was telling me these things. I think, you know, I'm a very motivated, passionate, goal-oriented person. I don't think that has changed. So I knew I wanted to do all the things up until that point. I wanted to go to college, I wanted to get my master's, I wanted to do these things, and I was like really excited about it. It was just at the end it was like. Okay, now I'm supposed to like find a job and the jobs that I was getting offered or, that I was being exposed to. I was like, this does not excite me. This is not something that makes me feel good. But I was like, but I'm supposed to stay in New York. That's where my family is. That's where my friends are. That's where my life is. So, okay, maybe I'm just supposed to do this and maybe if I take this job, it'll feel better or things will get better, and all of that. And I mean, I really had to pay attention to myself'cause I am typically a person that like I can like get through things, push through, which is also similar to my clients of push through, get stuff done, do what you gotta do and you're gonna figure it out and you're gonna be fine. And I was low energy, not motivated. I was really not feeling good, which was like very unlike me. So I really knew something was off. And that's sort of again, what made me get curious of like, okay, but like maybe this isn't what I want to do. So again, I like allowed myself to just expand it a little bit further of like, I'm just gonna apply to jobs in Colorado and see what happens. Like what, what harm is, do it, like what's gonna happen if I do that.

MaryAnn Walker: 6:39

Well, thank you so much for sharing. Yeah.'cause it's interesting to kind of identify, okay, who am I putting in charge of my decision making right now? Because sometimes it's. You know, faith, community, parents, friends just the local culture, like we just give so much weight to what other people, you know. I said, well, all my friends are here, so of course I should stay here. So I'm really curious because I work with, you know, a lot of the people pleasers. How was it for you when you told them that, Hey, I'm actually feeling led to go somewhere else,

Tricia Corso: 7:07

Yeah. So, I grew up in an Irish Italian household. Family is like number one. We are very close. No one left, like the tri-state area. Everyone extended is all kind of there. So. I would say it was harder to tell family versus friends, family, you know, I think that is what a big block was for me. I was like, I don't wanna upset them. I don't wanna disappoint my people pleasing stuff. Right. Of like, I don't wanna disappoint them. I don't want. I don't want their feelings to be hurt. I felt a lot of guilt of how am I gonna leave them? What if something hap, you know, all the things that go on in your brain. So at first, I would say it took time for them to be on board with this. Ultimately, you know. At the end of the day, my family wants me to be happy and they want me to do what makes me feel happy and they're gonna support that. So I'm really lucky in that regard. But it's not to say that there were multiple conversations and lots of time, like even after moving, right, that it was still happening where they had to address and get used to the change as well as me. But that they, it was like allowing the discomfort of like, yeah, this isn't gonna feel good for them. It's probably gonna be mixed emotions for me because it's scary to move and pick up and go to a completely new place. But they were. You know, weren't the most excited about it, but ultimately I think it was, I will support you if this is what you want to do. And also, just so you know, I'm really upset that you're leaving, so, yeah.

MaryAnn Walker: 8:58

Yeah, well, I think so many people are gonna be resonating with that, even if they aren't going to be moving across the country. I think a lot of people are at a time in their lives where they're thinking, I've checked all the boxes and something just isn't right and something's gotta give and I don't wanna upset anybody. I don't wanna rock the boat, but I need to start actually living. I can't just keep going through the motions and, and like you said, feeling anxious, feeling low energy. I think that those are some very common signs that something's gotta change. Like your baseline shouldn't be clear down here, right? Like we gotta kind of bring it up a bit and, find that joy. And I love that you were able to create that for yourself. And I know that you had thought ahead on this and we've kind of talked about this conversation and that you have three lessons that you've really learned through your experience, and I am just so excited for that. So let's just jump on in. What's the first lesson that you'd like to share with listeners?

Tricia Corso: 9:52

I kind of mentioned it a little bit of just like the guilt part of it. I think guilt comes up so much for people. Who are people pleasers for? People who are like, have the perfectionist tendencies, the people who are constantly thinking about other people before themselves of working through the guilt or pushing through it in the sense of I'm not gonna not do this thing so that I don't feel guilty. Right. I'm still gonna do the thing even though I feel guilty doing it. And that's again, that part of being able to not allow it to totally overwhelm or cloud your voice or your judgment or your decisions of. Yes. I'm like accept, like I'm gonna feel guilty. I'm not here to be like, Nope. Like if you just do the thing, you're not gonna feel guilty if you just make the decision or do the thing that you wanna do for yourself. Guilt won't come up. No, it's going to, it's just being able to recognize like, I'm not gonna let it overpower, overtake my choices, my voice, my decisions, my truth, and kind of talk yourself through it in that sense of. Okay. Yeah, I feel guilty. And also I am actually living a more aligned life and that feels really good for me. And how can I let go of some of that guilt? I think, I mean for me it was moving across the country, right? So it was, how am I gonna spend or plan time with my family? How often am I gonna communicate with?Like sort of like if I'm not gonna see them as much, like maybe I need to be more intentional with my time with them so I'm like less guilty.'cause I'm like, oh, I have these plans coming up with them so I don't need to feel as guilty but just, and I'm, I'm trying to think of other examples of, I don't know. Maybe you are someone who you want to go back to school for something else, or you wanna change your career, but you're feeling guilty.'cause you're like, well, if I do that, then my partner's gonna have to maybe take on more of this load, or things are gonna have to change at home because my work schedule is gonna be different or this or that. So like, rather than even try, think about the disruption or how guilty I'm gonna feel towards. Disrupting another person's life. I'm not even gonna think about doing it, but it's being able to say, I'm gonna feel guilty, except that you're gonna feel guilty, but then do something about it versus allow it to take over.

MaryAnn Walker: 12:21

I love that. So the note that I'm making for myself is be a disruptor in the name of authenticity.

Tricia Corso: 12:27

Oh my gosh, yes. Mm-hmm.

MaryAnn Walker: 12:29

because as you were talking, I think too many of us assume that if we feel guilty, it means we're doing something wrong.

Tricia Corso: 12:37

Yes. Uhhuh.

MaryAnn Walker: 12:39

And you just saying no, you're gonna feel guilty and it's okay. Because you've probably been conditioned to not rock the boat to make sure that nobody else experiences a negative emotion. But meanwhile, you're not feeling a lot of positive emotions right now. And, so that is such a mind flip to think that I'm going to feel guilty and it doesn't mean I'm doing anything wrong. In fact, it can mean that I'm living a more aligned life.

Tricia Corso: 13:03

Yep.

MaryAnn Walker: 13:04

Because too many people I think, think if I feel guilty, it means I'm out of alignment, because me to be in alignment means I don't make anybody upset, right?

Tricia Corso: 13:12

Yeah, and I think you saying, I mean, disruption and authenticity are, they're all, they're all intertwined with all of these things, but that, it's a matter of doing the work of I can trust myself, I can rely on myself. I, I feel confident in who I am in that this choice is really important to me and I feel that I like, recognize that within myself. And coming back to that too, right. Of. You know, we can still mess up and do things and maybe there is guilt there, but we can also resolve that right of, we can apologize, we can address it, we can figure it out. But it's more about the guilt related to like, if you're just being you and listening to yourself and being honest with yourself and making choices aligned to that. Like why, why are we holding onto that guilt? Because what's wrong with doing that? You know? Why is that a bad thing? Which goes back to all the beliefs, specifically women believe. Right. Of, I think, which is another thing, another lesson down the road that I see. They're all, they're all connected.

MaryAnn Walker: 14:19

they are all interconnected. But I love what you're saying here about how really there's no reason to feel guilty for living in a way that brings you joy, is what it comes down to like, like knowing that Okay, the guilt is just my conditioning.

Tricia Corso: 14:31

Mm-hmm.

MaryAnn Walker: 14:32

Really, there's no reason to feel guilty acknowledging that this isn't working for me and this will feel so much better for me, for my nervous system. It's, it's what's gonna bring me joy right now, and that that's okay. It's okay to accept the things that actually bring you joy rather than shrinking yourself so that other people don't experience the negative emotion, right? Like missing you. Which really, that's always a funny one because I think, well, don't you want people to miss you? Isn't that a good thing?

Tricia Corso: 14:59

And if someone misses you, they also want you to be happy. They want you to do what feels good for you. If someone really feels or cares about you in that way, they're not gonna be like, no, stay small so that you don't feel guilty about upsetting me. They're not gonna like, they genuinely do not want that. Of course they're gonna miss you, and that's a really lovely thing. But ultimately they do want you to be happy.

MaryAnn Walker: 15:22

Yeah. Yeah. That is such a beautiful segue into number two. You gave me a sneak peek so I already know what's coming, so yeah. So tell us your number two.

Tricia Corso: 15:30

Um, so yes, I recognized how my people pleasing was keeping me small. And that was something that. I had to like actively and intentionally start to shift for myself, where recognizing how pleasing others was abandoning myself, right, was abandoning what I wanted for me, what, what was important to me, what my values were, which might be different from other people around me, and that being okay. But that. When I'm people pleasing, right? Or when I'm trying to take care of everyone else, or I'm trying to make decisions based off of other people or other people's feelings, I'm being inauthentic, people pleasing is a form of in inauthenticity, right? Because we are not showing up as our true selves when we are responding or acting in accordance to other people and. I kind of, in my example, right of staying small would've been staying in New York, taking this job. I wasn't excited about probably being financially stressed, not really feeling very independent or actually enjoy my life, living in a concrete jungle of not being in nature and all of that. Where that wasn't, what was gonna make me happy. And if I am not paying attention to those cues or things and staying small, I'm not gonna feel fulfilled and it is gonna impact my relationships. Right. So I think something that comes up a lot is people people please to try to like. To keep the peace and to, to make sure people are okay and to try to keep relationships good or like, kind of like even keel or whatever it is. But it's actually not authentic relationships. So when you stop doing that, you actually have like deeper, more meaningful connections with yourself, but also the people again that want to be around you and love you, right? And there is difficulty because you might lose some people in that battle. Where when you start, like not people pleasing as much or maybe setting more boundaries or, or doing things for you, there might be some people that aren't okay with that. And that can be hard and scary for people, but in my opinion, it's worth it to live a more authentic life.

MaryAnn Walker: 18:00

Yeah. Yeah, that was very beautifully said. I was taking notes the whole time you were talking because that was that that had so many little gems in it. But I appreciated you saying that people pleasing was keeping you small because it was forcing you to self abandon. Because when you're prioritizing other people's values, you're not prioritizing your own. Which means now you're not living authentically. And I thought it was interesting too. I so many people I work with, and I'm sure it's the same for you, but they're craving to have depth in relationship. Like they want these kind of juicy conversations. They love it

Tricia Corso: 18:35

Yeah.

MaryAnn Walker: 18:35

and they have a hard time getting it. And I think that you totally nailed it with, yeah, we think that we're going to be getting that depth through people pleasing and prioritizing other people's wants and wishes. But the real depth comes through living authentically and letting yourself be seen.

Tricia Corso: 18:50

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Vulnerability. That's another one that is often really hard, to really embrace. And part of being vulnerable is like being honest and open and authentic to the people around you, expressing yourself, communicating how you're feeling, telling them if they bothered you in some way or did something that upset you. And. The people that are meant to be there are gonna show up for you and are gonna love you, and you're gonna feel so much, it's gonna be hard, like these aren't easy things, like these are hard things to do and they might be hard conversations or hard like actions to take, but ultimately when you do it, it's gonna feel so much better. It really is.

MaryAnn Walker: 19:37

Yeah. Yeah. And I like how you touched on, yeah, some people might leave

Tricia Corso: 19:40

Mm-hmm.

MaryAnn Walker: 19:41

and I think that that's what keeps us in that people pleasing mode is right, but they can't leave. I don't want them to abandon me, so then we abandon self. But like reminding yourself that, okay, they might leave me, maybe they will, maybe they won't, but I'm gonna stop leaving myself behind. I'm gonna stop self abandoning and live for me.

Tricia Corso: 20:00

Yeah. And why are we gonna put energy into someone and not ourselves? Right? If it is someone that is gonna leave or not show up for you in the way that you need to show up, that you want someone to show up for you or that it's not like reciprocated.'cause often the people pleasers are the ones that are showing up for friends and are being really present and are really trying to help or nurture take care, of who, you know, their friends, family, whoever it is. And. It's important that that's reciprocated. And if you start dialing it back because you're putting more energy into yourself or you're being more cognizant of how you wanna spend your time or your ener what it is that you wanna do, and then that person's like, what the heck? Then it is worth probably reevaluating that relationship, but that you're then going to have more authentic, deep, meaningful relationships with yourself and the people that you do both choose right to be around.

MaryAnn Walker: 20:58

So true. Yep. That was very well said. Yep. I love it. I have no notes on all that. That was beautiful. So what's the third lesson that you learned through this experience?

Tricia Corso: 21:09

So I think something underneath all these things that we've been talking about has just been these unspoken agreements, beliefs that specifically women, I think, or taught are they learn them, hear them all over the place of, from society, from culture, from family of, you know, what we're supposed to do or what we should do or how a woman is supposed to show up or act or be. And. For me, like, and similar to what we've talked to before, of whose voice are you listening to? Right? Is it the shoulds and supposed tos, or you know, is it social media? Is it, well, if you're not married and have kids by this age, something's wrong with you. Right? Like, where are we getting all of this from? Like, and is it my voice or is it other people's? And actually deciphering and making that distinction between the two, right? So that work is hard because you're unlearning things that no longer serve you or actually are important or significant or things that you value, and then relearning the things that. You do think are important and do think that you value. So for me, I'm basically the only one in my family that ever left the tri-state area, so that was a big disruption and that was a big deal. Everyone else. And, you know, that's what they want to do. But it's, everyone else was like, I grew up here, my family's here, I stay here. That's, that's it, that's what I do. But that didn't feel right for me. That didn't feel like something I wanted to do. So how all of that plays into all of these things? I think, you know, when we talk about people pleasing and we talk about guilt and we talk about, you know, these roles that we play. I think women have a lot of hats that we feel like we have to wear. I always think of the Barbie movie, the big speech of we're supposed to do, like women are supposed to be this and that, and this and that. And you're supposed, we're supposed to be, you know, we're supposed to be loud, not too loud, like all of these things that. It feels impossible at times of how we're, how are we supposed to maintain and keep up with all of those things at the same time? I don't, I, I, it's, it is very impossible, but we try, like, we try because we think that, that we're, that's what we're supposed to do, but it's really like, well, what do I actually want? Like, what do I actually want if I try to quiet all of that, quiet, all the external noise, quiet all the external. Voices of what I've been hearing for my whole life, and like actually take a moment to be like, well, what's important to me? What are my values? And then acting from that place, that is key and is still key for me to this day. I think all of these things I have to constantly be reminding myself of these lessons that I've learned. It's a, it's a constant work in progress, but this one in particular, is, you know, I'm 35 not married. I don't have kids. I'm living on my own and I'm living away from my family. And I have to think, you know, I have to constantly remind myself, like I said, of just, okay, but this is like, this is you living a fulfilled, aligned life because this is where you're at and this is where you wanna be. And sometimes those things creep in, but I, I push'em away.

MaryAnn Walker: 24:28

Yeah. Yeah, I love that.'cause one of the questions I was gonna ask you was how to identify your own voice when you've been listening to other people's, but then you explained that beautifully that no, it really just means looking at your own values.

Tricia Corso: 24:39

Mm-hmm.

MaryAnn Walker: 24:40

I think once your eyes get opened up to, okay, what is it I'm valuing right now? And do my actions match what I actually value. Like, okay, right now, am I really valuing what it is that I need? Or am I just valuing somebody else's comfort level right

Tricia Corso: 24:53

Mm-hmm.

MaryAnn Walker: 24:54

But being honest about, okay, what am I actually valuing right now? And do I actually value it? Or is that something I inherited or something that I just have assumed is an expectation, but getting clear on on those values is so powerful and helps you to identify your voice when you've been conditioned to only listen to everybody else's voice.

Tricia Corso: 25:15

Yes. That's like a, a big chunk of work that I do with my clients is what are, like, we gotta figure out, we gotta start from somewhere. We gotta figure out what your values are. And like you said, making choices, actions in alignment with those things, seeing how that feels for you and being able to come back to yourself. Right, because I think something that comes up that I've seen a lot with women and also myself at some point throughout the process, right? Is that sense of self. It can be really cloudy you're like, who am I without describing like all of the roles that you play. Right. And I think for women, it's like I'm a therapist, I'm a daughter, I'm a sister, I'm a friend. You know, I, or for people being like, I'm a mom, I'm a teach, whatever it is. But like that being their identity. But it's like, no, we can go even deeper of. What do you actually value as an individual? Take all of your roles away from you. What is it that's actually important to you? And giving yourself space to think and ask those questions. Because for so long it's just been like, well, if this is my role, this is how I'm supposed to act.

MaryAnn Walker: 26:23

Yeah, exactly. And I think that this kind of ties in beautifully with what you talked about as we opened this episode, which, which is that you're gonna be uncomfortable either way, right? We think, but if I go do something for myself, I'm gonna feel guilty. It's like, okay, but right now you're feeling unfulfilled, you're feeling inauthentic, you're feeling resentful because you're not doing what it is that you wanna do. So do you wanna feel those feelings? Or do you wanna feel a little bit uncomfortable as you try something new and try something that's more in alignment with who you are and what you value? That? Yeah. You've, you've been uncomfortable. You already know what it is like to be uncomfortable.

Tricia Corso: 26:58

Mm-hmm.

MaryAnn Walker: 26:59

There's another kind of discomfort that can actually be quite healing for you.

Tricia Corso: 27:04

Yes. It, I, I think, for sure a big take takeaway is like, this is uncomfortable work, right? I say to clients all the time, like, this is the hard work. The easy option is for you to keep on going as you're going, and just like maintaining status quo, not disrupted, like that's the easy way to go about it because. You're, you are staying small and like, yeah, maybe you're not as happy as fulfilled or whatever it is, but you're not disrupting things and like you're not having the discomfort. Right. And that's easier, um, quotes. But in the long run, this is the work that's it's hard work. And in the long run, this is. Typically where people wanna be of, okay, I need to do this work so that long term I do feel more fulfilled, or I do feel more aligned, or I do feel happy, and things shift and change, right? I, I tell everyone, just'cause these are your values now doesn't mean that these are your values forever. And these are the things that you constantly have to, it's fi two years from now, your values could be different, but it's just a matter of like, you're actually asking yourself these questions and giving yourself space to ask yourself these questions because. You are going to have to cause disruption. There's no way around that. And when we're talking about people pleasers and women and nurturers and caretakers and perfectionists, that is such a hard thing to overcome of like, what do you, what do you, what do you mean I gotta disrupting? Can I just like do everything and everyone still is happy or feels really, it's like, unfortunately, it's just not the reality.

MaryAnn Walker: 28:43

So true. Yeah, and I don't know if it's similar for you, but I know in my practice sometimes I'll work with women and they're like, well, I'm just not feeling super fulfilled and I don't even know why.

Tricia Corso: 28:51

Mm-hmm.

MaryAnn Walker: 28:52

Like they've never actually questioned what do I value? What do I want? And, and they don't recognize yet that that's why they're not feeling fulfilled, that there's something more that they can just make these tiny tweaks, like speaking up when they want something or advocating for themselves and that that can reignite that fire. But it just takes a little bit of, of nudging,

Tricia Corso: 29:14

Yes. Yeah, I, small steps is always key to, you know, you can't, to, to try to make these, and I, I think sometimes that can really, um. May discourage people in doing it.'cause they're like, well this just feels like really big and overwhelming and like, I don't, like, I don't think I could just automatically make this shift. And it's like, what if we just take it slow and see like, let's try this. Let's try that. Let's put these things into practice. See how that feels. And we're only gonna reinforce things that feel good for you. If things don't feel good for you, you don't do it right. And, and allowing yourself to figure out what those things are and actually have awareness of that. I think also it's a, it's a matter of. Sometimes there's, when you're saying, I don't really know why I don't feel fulfilled sometimes it's just like that self-awareness of actually paying attention day to day, being like, how do I feel in this moment? How do I feel in this situation? What's coming up for me there to be like, oh. This is the area that I'm not feeling good in because I'm actually paying attention and like giving myself the time to think about that of this is why I'm not feeling good. Um, and then being able to work with it from there. I think often it's just we're not giving ourselves the time to actually think about what's wrong.

MaryAnn Walker: 30:36

So true, which I think that that's where, you know, coaching and therapy can be so valuable is maybe that's your first step is just booking a call. With me or Tricia and saying, Hey, I just, I don't know where to look. I don't know what's going on. And just to dedicate space, you setting the intention to create space for you, for you to self-reflect, you know, free from anybody that's going to tell you more shoulds, oh, well I have all of the answers for you, right? Like, no, no, no. Like, you need somebody that's just gonna ask you what's your answer? What do you want? And, and just making one call can make such a huge difference for people.

Tricia Corso: 31:14

Yeah, I think that, I mean, it's the first step to it all right? Of being like, I deserve to stop being small. I deserve to take up space. I deserve this, this 30 minute whatever hour phone call to be able to just talk through something. And it's just that one step, right? Of. And then being like, how was that? Did that feel good? Did not feel good. Am I ready for this? Am I not? But it is a matter of it. There needs to be action right to these things. Otherwise you are gonna keep replaying or constantly, like you're just gonna stay in that, stuck in that gray in that I'm, you know, I'm gonna keep thinking about the same thing over and over again. I'm gonna not do anything about it. Um. You can stay stuck there. Things still might shift, but you know, I, I think it can be really hard. I know in my experience, I needed support. I needed other people, like I've been, you know, whether it's therapy, coaching, whatever it is, I've needed that to help me to stay accountable, to have guidance, to have support, because I can just, I can get stuck in my head very easily.

MaryAnn Walker: 32:24

Yeah. Like all of us. Huh?

Tricia Corso: 32:28

Yep.

MaryAnn Walker: 32:29

Yeah. So I'm just gonna recap the three lessons that Tricia has shared. And I tacked a fourth one on the end because you talked quite a bit about it and I just felt like it needed to be there. Um, so the three lessons are learning how to just navigate and let go of guilt, and as you work to come closer to yourself, acknowledging that guilt will be there and I can live authentically. And then you also talked about realizing how people pleasing really does keep us small. To just be aware that that is a form of self abandonment. So of course you're not feeling fulfilled. Um, and then intentionally breaking free of the unspoken agreements, recognizing that, okay, well this isn't actually in alignment with my value system and I want something different. And then the one I'm kind of pairing with that is just I take one small step towards self-advocacy, like be brave enough to, to just give voice to what it is that you want. So as we wrap up here, Trisha, I'm wondering like what would you like our listeners main takeaway to be from this call?

Tricia Corso: 33:29

Hmm. I. I think what's kind of underneath all of this, when we kind of really just draw it back is, is really just, I am me. I'm giving it MaryAnn's, giving it, and for you to give yourself permission to take up space and what, and that sort of be the guiding line here of I don't need to stay small. What is it that I need to do to take, you deserve to take up space. You deserve to live a life that's on your terms. You deserve to live a life that feels good for you and feels fulfilling for you, and you staying small isn't gonna get you there. So I think it's, it's allowing yourself, because of all the things that we just talked about, of all of the beliefs or thoughts or feelings that will keep you small, right? Or keep you in this place of, I don't deserve. Or it's, I can't disrupt, I can't, I have to, I have to keep the peace, whatever it is. But just that knowing you deserve to take up space, period. There's, there's, doesn't need to be anything else attached to it, but just that you having time and space for yourself to figure out what feels good for you and actually doing something about it. I mean, that's, we all deserve that.

MaryAnn Walker: 34:55

Yeah. I love that. Giving yourself permission to take up space and just stop playing small.

Tricia Corso: 35:00

Mm-hmm.

MaryAnn Walker: 35:00

think some of us, it's, it's easy to slide into that as the default setting, right? To make yourself smaller so you don't cause those ripples. But giving yourself that permission to take up space, to have wants and needs and be human

Tricia Corso: 35:13

Mm-hmm.

MaryAnn Walker: 35:15

to can make such a huge difference. Hmm. That was very good.

Tricia Corso: 35:19

Yeah. I, I, it's one of the things too, I'm sure this comes up for you too, right, of just what would, what would you tell a really good friend of yours? Would you be like, no, you should stay small. You shouldn't, you should not follow what you want or your goals, or what your dreams are. You should just like stay small and don't, don't do that. No, you would never say that to your friend. So why are we saying that to ourselves?

MaryAnn Walker: 35:41

So true, right? How many of us we like give our friends the best advice, but we never give it to ourselves. We're some, for some reason the exception, no, but for me, I need to stay small, but everybody else can live large and I'll cheer'em on.

Tricia Corso: 35:54

right. I'll be their biggest cheerleader, but I'll just be over here. I, I'll be in the corner. It's like, no, you deserve that too. And the people that love you want that for you also.

MaryAnn Walker: 36:05

I love that. Be your own friend. Be your own cheerleader. Yeah. That's beautiful. Well, this has been such an amazing conversation, Tricia, and I know that people are gonna wanna continue the conversation. So how can people find you?

Tricia Corso: 36:18

Um, yeah. So on Instagram, um, my handle is at among wildflowers therapy. Um, and then also I have a website among wildflowers. Among wildflowers therapy.com. Um, so people can find me either of those spots. Um, if you want to book a call, you can just go to my website and there's a spot for you to just book a call there. And also, I'm, if, uh, if anyone wants to book a call, I'm going to offer too. If you just mention that you, uh. Listen to the podcast or heard me on the podcast, uh, we can book a free clarity call so we could focus on like one thing that you're really feeling stuck or confused about and just kind of work through it together just to give you a little taste of what that would be like for you. Um, so yeah, there's a few ways to get in touch with me.

MaryAnn Walker: 37:12

That is awesome. Thank you so much for offering that to the audience. I think that that's, that's a very generous offer, so thank you so much and I'll be sure to put all of Trisha's contact information in the show notes. You can go and follow her on Instagram, go book a free clarity call. And yeah, thank you so much for being here, Tricia.

Tricia Corso: 37:27

Thank you so much for having me. This was such a great conversation.

MaryAnn Walker: 37:31

Right. Well, have a great week everybody. I'll see you next time. Bye now.

Tricia Corso: 37:34

Bye.