A Slice of Humble Pie with P2
🥧 A podcast where we curiously explore nutrition, fitness, mindset, sports, wellness, & beyond. ☕️Host @parastoobadie
A Slice of Humble Pie with P2
Challenging identity and facing adversity as an athlete
Join us for an inspiring conversation with Brianna Hennessy, a Canadian Paralympian whose unbreakable spirit defies limitations. Discover the resilience and determination that fuel her journey from competitive athlete to Paralympian, reshaping her identity after a life-altering accident. Brianna's infectious laughter and unwavering family support shine through as she shares her inspiring story of transformation.
In this emotionally charged dialogue, we delve into the importance of mental health support, therapy, and coaching for athletes facing personal challenges. Brianna and I open up about our own experiences with anxiety in sports, highlighting the power of vulnerability and support in overcoming adversity.
As we conclude, we explore the world of parasport and its profound impact on individuals with physical limitations. Brianna's testimony illustrates how sports can provide joy and purpose, transcending physical barriers. We reflect on the strides toward inclusivity in sports, leaving you inspired and motivated to overcome the hurdles in your own path. Join us on this inspiring journey of resilience and hope.
Connect with Brianna via Instagram @breezerhennessy
Website: https://parastoobadie.com/podcast/
Email: asliceofhumblepiewithp2@gmail.com
Instagram: @asliceofhumblepiewithp2
Welcome back to A Slice of Humble Pie. Today's guest is the inspiring Brianna Hennessy, and in this episode we'll be chatting about challenging identity and facing adversity as an athlete. Brianna is a para-Olympian from the Summer Games in Tokyo, where she placed fifth in the para-canoe 200 meters and eighth in the para kayak 200 meters. In the spring of 2022, at the World Cup race in Poland, she won her first two international medals a silver in para canoe and a bronze in para kayak.
Speaker 1:Pre-pandemic, and before learning and kicking ass at a whole new sport in less than a year, brianna was, and still is, a wheelchair rugby athlete. In her third season, she's the only female international import on her team, the Tampa Warriors, who are ranked fourth in all of US out of 44 teams US out of 44 teams. She was introduced to wheelchair rugby by the Ottawa Hospital Rehabilitation Centre after her car accident in 2014 at the age of 30. Before her accident, brianna was a double A ice hockey athlete and on the team that won gold in the Ontario Winter Games. She played national level ball hockey, was an Ontario provincial boxing champion and an Ontario, quebec and national rugby athlete.
Speaker 1:No adjectives really describe Brianna well enough, so let's go with tenacious, resilient and badass. She embodies grind and grit. The woman's got grit yo. And I have to say honestly, this is such a powerful conversation and one of my favorite interviews ever. It was just a privilege to have this conversation. I remember sharing a pitch with Brianna. I remember warming up for a game at Twin Elm Rugby Park in Ottawa, and she was always an exceptional athlete. She was always an awesome human and she teared up on the field as an absolute beast and when she wasn't kicking your ass, she was beaming with a glowing smile. It just speaks to her character and, honestly, the world's a better place because of her and people like her. So let's uh, let's get, let's get into it. This one's heavy. Prepare yourselves for a raw human spirit at its best Bree. You were always a gifted athlete in many sports from a young age. What drove you to sport and what pushed you to competitive levels in hockey, boxing, rugby and more?
Speaker 2:I think for me, a big part was definitely my parents. So something that I was taught at a very young age is that you learn to support each other in a family. So there's sometimes it's often the case where you know people have kids and then they give up everything. They give up all their passions, right, uh, and they, they, they dump everything into their kids, which is great and sounds supportive at the time, but but you, you grow up not knowing how to support others as well and and kids thinking that they're the center of the universe.
Speaker 2:So you know my both my parents played at the national level football for over a decade and so I grew up on the side of a football field Awesome, my family are my parents as well, so we've always had that sort of sharing and caring mentality. But it taught me, you know, that sort of drive and intensity or dedication, looking up to my parents as my role models from a very young age. So for me, you know that that was kind of the culture of our family, not work that I did. It was the way that that you know. We did everything as a family together for each other and and the hard work we put in or the work ethic you know, and everything we did in life and sport. So I think that's kind of where everything stemmed from. Is my parents for sure.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. Your parents sound so cool and so is that, like the competitive part is because you they were really high level athletes, so it was sort of ingrained that you wanted to not just do recreational right. You just kind of wanted to keep going and see how much you could push yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I, I I feel like my family. You know we're kind of allergic to the word average. I mean my mom skipped a grade and my dad was a teacher. So school, when it came to sports, you know we were always two feet in in my family and you know you're in or you're out. You either give everything you got or you don't waste your time. And if you have some potential then you know you pour everything into it. And that comes right from the heart. So from my dad being an English teacher and growing up everything being sentimental, having meaning, looking for value in things, just to crossing over into my sports, I guess that's kind of where everything came from.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. Also, your laugh is so infectious. I love it, I love it, I love it. So, obviously, the topic that we were exploring today is identity, and so the listeners now know a little bit about your background and your story. So I just want to know that, before your accident, how did you perceive yourself and like, in the context of athlete identity? Right, because we know that a lot of athletes kind of identify themselves with their sports and all that. And so who was Brianna pre-accident?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, this was a big. This kind of brings it back to the big transition from before my accident and then what happened. And you know, I grew up being an elite athlete in several different sports at the provincial and national level, like you mentioned. You know my whole life, so you know that was the biggest part of my identity and my purpose and my life and biggest part of my passions no-transcript.
Speaker 2:Uh, it's very difficult because you, you know, in in able-bodied sports, you grow up playing that same sport for 10,. You know five, 10, 20 years, um, you know, and and you don't want to start all over again you have that familiarity, you have that confidence. You know, I, I, I always go back to, you know, uh, the girl group that I grew up with in school. And you know, unfortunately, um, you know lots of the girls around me gain lots of self confidence or try to validate themselves, you know, through attention from guys. Uh, I learned that way. I learned having a strong female figure. You know, playing sports, I mean my mom started playing able-bodied rugby with me when she was 42 years old. You know the mom and daughter on the field.
Speaker 2:So I love that I gave myself confidence from my teammates, from, you know, from working together and failing and succeeding together, and so that was a big part of my life and my community and I felt like a complete outcast after that and that was torn away too. So it's very difficult to go back to a sport in general, but just you know, facing your community after I think, yeah, you know, becomes a big thing too. But yeah, I mean, for me sport has been the biggest part of my identity, my entire life. So yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's. That's really hard. Um, you just said that you had some creative outlets. What? Where were they?
Speaker 2:Um. So I I like to do acrylic painting Um okay.
Speaker 2:I actually uh, recently, I uh cause it's it's our off season right now. So I actually recently made a couple of motivation boards where I put some bright colors on, cause my personality is bright and bubbly, and then I put some sayings on there that really, you know, resonate with me, um, or I'll just do adult coloring books, um, and stuff like that, or just some writing, uh, just cause my dad's English teacher, so I grew up doing sort of like you know, expressing myself that way too. So I'm trying to sort of reapply that, I guess, in my new life, as I call it.
Speaker 2:Before my accident, before each one of my boxing fights, I go to a tap and I do here in Ottawa, and there was a black jaguar there and his name was Apollo, and I used to go there before every one of my boxing fights and I just watch how we move and I'd watch how he was just so calm but ready to sort of pounce or attack at any point in time. It would help me keep my, my anxiety down. So I used to write a poem before every one of my boxing fights. So I try and use kind of same similar thing of like. You know, I have Bengal cats now. So I don't the wild, that wild side, but still, you know, keeping it calm, cool, collected. So, um, I try and sort of, you know, hone in on that kind of stuff. Uh, before my, before my, you know, competitions, so I try, I try and apply some of the same things that's awesome.
Speaker 1:I remember your Bengal cats, I know. I'm talking about your Bengal cats. That actually makes a lot more sense now, because I was just like she really looks cast. Yeah, that's beautiful. How many boxing matches did you have, though? I don't think I know this.
Speaker 2:I'd have to go back and check honestly for that, but I was an Ontario Provincial Champion, so I have to work up to that, of course.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I had a number of TKOs and KOs, but I did. I did get KO'd one time and it was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life because I had all my work. People out there and uh, it was one of those weird ones where they got me in that wrong part of my chin and dropped me and before I knew it I was, I was, you know, my computer completely shut down and I back up and I had my gloves up, but he ended the fight. So that was definitely a very humbling for me.
Speaker 1:There you go. I was just. I was just wondering too, because you mentioned that you wrote a poem before every, like everything. So now I'm just curious how many poems you ended up writing.
Speaker 2:So oh and Steve, I could find that that book for sure. I think it's. It's been quite a and see if I could find that book for sure. I think it's been quite difficult for me to kind of look at the sports that I did before.
Speaker 2:So I've been to a boxing gym that's my accident. I haven't gone to see a rugby game that's my accident. I've watched hockey, but that was my least favorite sport out of the ones that I played, so I was the least emotionally attached to it. But rugby and boxing for me, just you know, pulled all my heartstrings. So I'm still working my way up to being able to bring myself back around to those sports again. I haven't even watched them on TV. I watch some sort of short Instagram clips and then I get emotional and then I pull the plug. I'm like, okay, that was a 15-second clip, we did it. Now, you know, get in, get out, kind of thing. But I would really love to, you know, to have that, that part at least, to watch it back in my life.
Speaker 1:But I think that's still a hurdle that I need to face. So, yeah, absolutely, and I mean on your own time. It's like a massive, massive trauma and hurdles you've overcome in exceptional ways. So I can only imagine, speaking of the sports that you loved so much I know that you mentioned that they have, like, they played a big part in like you even being here today. So just to kind of set the context for our listeners, there was an article in the Toronto Star and the headline of it was after a speeding Toronto cab driver struck and paralyzed, her spirit and sports saved Paralympic paddler. And obviously we know you have a fighting spirit and inspiring attitude and in the article I was reading that your physical skills, from your contact sports like, really helped save your life. So can you share what those physical skills like? Sorry, can you share how those physical skills saved your life, like during the actual accident?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean, um, you know, my parents believe it was a mixture of, you know, a guardian angel wrapping her wings around me the night of my accident. Uh, for sure, um, the chances of me still being here are very slim, um, but, um, you know the the context, sports for me, um allowed me to react quickly, uh, to actually throw myself onto the hood, um, instead of most people probably would have put their arms out and just been driven over and then pulled under the car or dragged under the car, um, and I also was able to, um, use my, my arm to cover my neck, like I would, as if I was going into a rugby, um contact, you know, like a scrum or a mall um, or even contact in hockey or even boxing. So, to me, my contact sports saved my life, um and um, that's that's why I'm still here today, Um, because I feel like, uh, that's kind of what, what? Let my my spinal cord hang on by just those millimeters on all my breaks. So it's pretty wild yeah.
Speaker 1:That is wild and yeah, I just want to take a second and you don't want to minimize it Like that's insane and I am so happy. Like, yes, we can all agree that there was a guardian angel and thank fucking God, yeah, you, you had so much more to do on this earth, so I'm so glad. Yeah, this one, this one's not. This is a hard one and I love how we both just giggle through awkwardness. We're like we're just gonna laugh, yeah.
Speaker 1:So the thing is like for me as I don't know if that was something you had thought of being possible, right, like these types of accidents, like no one thinks it's going to happen to them, but until it does. But for me it's always been one of my biggest biggest fears and like obviously you and I met through rugby and like sport and movement has been like monumental in my life. So it's like not not, you know, at your competitive level, but just moving, I was always just running around. So the the like one in my life. So it's like not not you know, at your competitive level, but just moving, I was always just running around. So the like one of my biggest fears was ending up in a wheelchair and like I can't even compute like that experience. So I don't want to like minimize it, undermine it, cause I, yeah, absolutely, or like project my fears and then like re-traumatize you, but just to sort of, you know, share that that is a big fear. And coming back from even small injuries, right, like in rugby, like if you, you know what's a common one is ACL tears, or like I've dislocated my shoulders, right, just just those simple injuries, sometimes we're even a bit apprehensive, or we're fearful, or some of those tiny stuff have actually been career enders for some athletes, or they've been apprehensive to go back to sport.
Speaker 1:But you went from all of that to having this absolute tragedy where you were paralyzed from the neck down yeah, that's holy fuck. And you were diagnosed as tetraplegic. Yeah, yeah, and sorry for re-traumatizing, it's just everyone that doesn't know your story. So you're a fucking powerful woman, uh, yeah, but with time, thank fucking God, you gained movement in your upper body, even though now you still don't have feeling in your arms and legs. So my question is, what was going through your mind when you first got that tetra tetraplegic diagnosis? Um, and then, and then, just kind of like how that evolved thank god that you had more movement, like where was your headspace at, what were you thinking? And I I know you were mentioning the identity that you had to sport. So how did that like start to shift your perception of yourself and who you were in that moment?
Speaker 2:So I might get emotional at this. Okay, absolutely, I'm so sorry, yeah, so this question, yeah, we'll get definitely get emotional. So, um, you know I, I always come back to when I get asked this question. I always come back to. You know, at first for me, um, you know I, I didn't have that movement, um, in my body and I can't feel my arms and legs, but I have movement now that has come back in that sense. But, um, when I was in the hospital bed, um, you know, I remember my dad and we're, you know we, my last name's Hennessy. We have that Irish background and we have that, you know, um, that Irish fight in us, in our veins, I always say, are flowing through our thickly through our veins.
Speaker 2:But, um, I remember wanting to give up when I was in hospital because I didn't see that there could be anything left for me. Um, I was someone that was very active and that's what I thrived on, that's what made my heart beat every day and I couldn't see a life without that. And so I remember my dad, you know, looking at me in the eyes and saying to me don't you dare give up on me to be a burden on, um, on my family and I didn't see any value or worth in myself anymore, which is the weirdest thing, because, knowing me my whole life, I'm like one of the most strongest independent women that most people have ever met. I'm stubborn, I'm impenitent. If I put my mind to something, I'm going to get it fucking done. Um, you know, um, and I love helping others around me and being I've always been independent, so in the moments of realizing I had to be dependent on people now, it was a concept that I have been fighting my entire life, that I've been raised to, to do anything a man can do. Um, you know. So I basically lost sort of the, the core, my, my core, or or or my moral compass. I didn't know, it was just flying around in all different ways that I didn't really understand what the point of living was anymore.
Speaker 2:So, um, and you know they always talk about the mental side of sports, the, the physical side of sports, and you know everyone will spend all that time, hours and hours in the gym every day. But are they spending that same time on the mental side of sports? And you know everyone will spend all that time, hours and hours in the gym every day, but are they spending that same time on the mental side of things. And, you know, I always proudly say you know, I, I've had a psychologist our family has, since I was 16 years old, um, and it's not because there was anything that had to be wrong, is because we had, we fostered that culture in my family.
Speaker 2:And, um, you know, dr Ian Mannion, um, he's, uh, he's retired now but, uh, you know, he helped me from my anxiety before my, my boxing fights. You know my night terrors growing up. It could be anything, but it was having those tools in my toolbox. Um, that maybe when you're younger you fight through. You know, there's not something wrong with me. You know, and, and and it's, it's that, it's not that, um, there's, there's a part of society that that I feel like there's still that stigma around um, that that, uh, I completely don't believe in.
Speaker 2:But, um, in those moments, um, you get forced into a corner and you have to make a choice. And so, um, I had the nurses write on my wall. You know that that saying that I'm sure you guys have all heard before is is you know, you don't know how strong you are until you have no other choice. And I had no other choice. Um, I had severed one of the main arteries to my brain. I could have had a stroke at any minute, any second of the day. Uh, I could have just been a vegetable. Um, you know I, I didn't know how things were going to go.
Speaker 2:It was terrifying, um, you know, and, and I had, I had some, you know, um, I guess, I guess in those moments I had to choose if I was worth it. I had to find opportunity in my struggles or strength in my struggles. I had to change my perspective and you know it was. It was some very dark moments and this is the part for me that it really gave me a new, I guess, understanding of that mental health side of things. Because, you know, you hear about people having anxiety attacks, you hear about people, you know, being suicidal and I thought I am the last person in this world that could ever get into that kind of darkness. There is no way, there's nothing that could be torn from me, that would, that would tear my spirit into pieces. And it's scary, because I get it now. I get it that if you have enough torn away from you, you can feel that way or you can be in that space and that mind frame and it's terrifying. So I definitely have a newfound respect for that and I always talked about this growing up is that you can call into work and say my stomach hurts, you know, I have the flu, I feel sick, and your boss will say, sure, that's fine, don't come into work, take a couple days off.
Speaker 2:But you can't call into work and say I feel depressed today. You know I'm not mentally, you know, feeling strong enough to take on the world today and that's still not acceptable in today's society and you know, because it's not as much of a tangible thing. So I've learned a lot. I've learned a lot and I always talk about my sports because, without going through that, you know that team building, having the support and love of your family, my whole life through my sports, or even my teammates, you know, um, when you're in the boxing corner and you can't go on and your coach is there and he's cornering you and he just gives you that look like. You know you can do this, you got two minutes left, you can do this.
Speaker 2:It was kind of like that every day was a new fight, but every day I would kind of apply the same sort of thing of. You know, my teammates need me now and I think people that haven't played you know team sports, I think they sometimes, when they end up in these different you know atmospheres in the real world I call it or at work, they just don't have that concept of what it is to just grind to the end and have that grit to support each other and to just get the job done. And um, I think for me that was that was the biggest thing for my sports is that I, I, I knew what, grinding down to that, you know your face in the mud level and someone's still stomping on it and you can't get up and you still got to find a way to do it was still stomping on it and you can't get up and you still got to find a way to do it. And um, I think for me that's that's kind of what kicked in is is my, there there's survival instincts and there's there's killer instincts. And you know, when I boxed, every time that bell went off it was fight or flight and I knew how, I knew what coming close to flight was so many times and how terrified it would be before every one of my boxing fights.
Speaker 2:And I still did it and I knew, in the moments when it had to matter, when, the moments when I had to pull through for my team, I always did. I could always do it. Whether it was my adrenaline, you know, whether it was my stubbornness, my self pride, I don't know adrenaline, you know. Whether it was my, my stubbornness, my self pride, I don't know. But for me that's, that's really the things. You know, the resilience, resiliency and tenacity really, really stem from those things that I had learned through my sports in every way. So, yeah, that's, that's yeah, kind of how, what, what, what shifted my mindset in those really dark moments. So yeah, Thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you for sharing that and taking us on this journey with you. Yeah, I don't really have words to just describe the gratitude. I'm just absorbing what you said and, yeah, I'm going to cry now. The gratitude. I'm just absorbing what you said and, yeah, I'm going to cry now too. I'll just cry, everyone cry. I'm sure listeners are crying too. That was really fucking powerful. And yeah, you're a hell of a woman Woo, hell of a woman Woo. Trying to get my words back to ask you more questions, but I mean that is, yeah, holy shit.
Speaker 1:That's what I was actually you mentioned. The question I was going to have was this is even the strongest person, which you're the strongest person you know needs help in every area, and I'm so happy that you had that. You know that mental health was integrated into the culture of your family and that you had that support from the beginning. This is like, as I was mentioning too, it was really important to me as well, and I just just literally yesterday, I just did the I don't know which order of events for whoever's listening to this episode with a mental performance coach for combat athletes. We were just talking about the mind game. We were talking about all of the layers, especially when it gets into combat sports and contact sports, but just mental health and how like it is getting. We're not there yet, but it's with the strength of amazing people like you that we're normalizing just people getting help so that they are resilient and they have those tools in their toolboxes. So, like, on behalf of the world, thank you for sharing that story with us. Like holy, holy shit.
Speaker 1:So I mentioned I have no retention of the doctor. He just said I went on it. I was like holy crap. So yeah, so you had a. Let's talk about the therapy. So you said that you had a therapist when you were 16 and then you had is it the same one? Did you have different like types of therapists or coaches, like throughout various stages of your life? Like, did you have a specific like trauma counselor after your accident, or how did that look like for you?
Speaker 2:I kind of had with Dr Ian Mannion. I had sort of a catch all for for all sorts of different you know subjects, I guess. As I was growing up I went to Ottawa U you know I have an honor science degree in kinesiology, so yeah, very Orlick's classes. I was lucky enough to, to, to learn a lot from him as well, and as an elite athlete at that time, you know, I, he, he had sort of an elite athlete program where you could do credits that way too. So you know, I guess, a combination of that.
Speaker 2:I was very, very lucky to have, um, and just the preparation before and and keeping just at that that throttle of of, you know, excitement but calmness at the same time, um, and, and you know we're always working on it, um, and it's, it's always an ongoing thing. But um, you know, and it's very different when it comes to, you know, an individual sport, uh, or a team sport, right, so, um, you know, um, for me that's that's the biggest thing with my paddling is is, thank goodness I had my you know, some experience with boxing, because it's all on your shoulders, right, um, and it's, it's, it's just a different style, it's just different mental strategies that you have going in um in comparison to team sports, when you really can lean on each other and you're a unit and you rise, you fall together, right. So it does spread the pressure a little bit more when you're you know, when you're on a field with 15 girls, and then when you're just in the corner alone, it's you or them, right?
Speaker 1:So Absolutely, I had I don't know, I don't know, I don't know if I told you this, but I had my first Muay Thai smoker this summer. Oh nice, oh, my, yeah, and and yeah, I mean all I've known and so funny enough. Uh, just, I mean, in the grand scheme of this conversation, like mine just seems like a tiny little ant, but like I I don't know if you remember me puking on the field. So, oh, my god, so it's a thing. And I was telling my, my, my, uh, muay Thai coaches.
Speaker 1:I'm like no, you don't like. No, I'm not joking like I have spent 20 years just every game I just puke on the field, like. And then I'm like I'm like on people, like on myself, like I'm like when I'm in the middle of a tackle, and so I was mortified. And I was so mortified because I'm like, hey, I'm coming from this team environment, I'm doing that for two decades and I'm doing this individual sport. And then I'm like, oh, I just don't don't know how I'm going to respond, because that one was 80 minutes. If you had a minute to puke, you still had 79 minutes.
Speaker 2:But this one we don't have time, very little room for error and demands a high level of precision. And your anxiety is like it will drain you.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness yeah, lessons learned, lessons learned. So yeah, I absolutely understand that part. Actually, now I'm like yeah, I get it personal experience where like that's, that's really hilarious, but yeah oh, there's no sport I've ever done that's harder than than fighting.
Speaker 2:There is nothing. Yeah, I can't. When I came from rugby and my coach said to me yeah, give me 30 seconds on the heavy bag, I'll show you what hard is like, I said listen, I've, I've gone down the field of like like having two, three girls, like monkeys, on my back. 30 seconds seconds of heavy bag. I shut the fuck up. So so I, I, I and you know what. There's no worse fight than your first one. There's no worse fight than your first one. It's. There's so many unknowns and, honestly, I, I, that was always my challenge in boxing. Uh, I didn't get much better with my anxiety before. Like the bell would ring and your legs were already tired before you even started. Like your anxiety just drains you in a way that I have never felt in a team sport in my life. So good on you. I'm so proud of you for doing that oh, thank you.
Speaker 1:Oh, my god, that means so much for me from you yeah. I was proud of myself because I I didn't puke. I'm like I made it, we made it, don't puke, that's so funny. Thank, I made it, we made it, don't puke, that's so funny. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:I mean, and you've done so many different things like throughout your life, so that's just that just means like a monumental amount coming from you Me too, like when you, I, had so many fights lined up and we called it like heart failure, when the girls would bitch out Like it is, even with with sparring, like one out of 30 people will continue sparring after their first time. You know, so it's, you know. Yeah, don't even, don't even get me started on the, the brotherhood or the sisterhood or the culture. It is, it is next level. It is, it is earning respect, not walking on the field demanding it.
Speaker 1:It is, it is next oh, oh, I love that oh yeah as you were saying that, though that was perfect, because my the next question I wanted to ask you I think you kind of set it up is the way you're explaining everything. Not that it's, it's a movie, but honestly, someone needs to make maybe, maybe, maybe that's like I hope whoever's listening like, dude, you have an elite athlete, an exceptional human. Just start someone, make a make a biopic of Brianna, and but, as you were talking, there's a lot of like movie scenes. So, like you know, I just pictured. I just pictured, uh, just some of the stuff that you've shared, like with such vivid detail of like, holy shit, you've lived the movie and so, and you've lived the movie, but you've done so many different things so that there's a specific quote I want to pull it back to for context for the listener.
Speaker 1:So, after you won the silver medal in Poland this past spring, I was reading on the Ottawa sports pages, so there was a quote and you were quoted in the article as this is this is you. Oh, my goodness, I'm so humbled. I didn't expect it. I've worked hard all season and, honestly, if you uh were to have a massive ego, I mean absolutely understandable, but here you are, so approachable, so grounded and so humble, like given the name of this, this podcast, like what contributes to being so grounded and humble.
Speaker 2:I mean we can go back to, for me, the way I was raised and, and like I said, with my you know, with my parents, and looking for the the smaller things in life and still appreciating them or the sentimental value behind them. You know that the going back to, you know, stop and smell the roses, kind of thing, that that is something that I've. I has been ingrained within me since I was a kid, not just after my accident of just being grateful for what I used to have or what I have now, or just being able to breathe the same air still that you guys are too. But you know, for me I I feel like I'm so new to this sport. You know, the only thing that I came into this being familiar to was that, when it came down to it, I know that I wouldn't collapse. That's the only thing from my sports I had before to apply to paddling. When it came down to competing, I know my competitive spirit would drive me to pass the limit that I was maybe expected to do. And and I that's all I could rely on I'm still so new to the sport. And I'm doing two of them. I'm doing canoe and kayak, so as if one wasn't enough. But you know, your coaches can come up with some brilliant ideas sometimes and you just follow. That's what happened.
Speaker 2:But yeah, for me, um, you know it's, it's, um, it's being a para-athlete. Uh, is just so different than when I was an athlete before and that it's. You know, um, you're celebrating your abilities. I guess you know it's, it's when you, when I was in Tokyo, I'm surrounded by, you know, thousands of people that have every reason in the world to give up, and they just chose one not to. And it's like they're all my heroes when I'm there and I'm like, what am I doing here In these moments? And I'm just looking around and there's, you know, everyone has all sorts of different disabilities and you don't even see them, doesn't matter if they're missing a leg, two legs if they're, you know, it doesn't matter if they had a spinal cord injury. You, you end up seeing the people for the people and um, it just, this community, this Paris sport community, just takes out the superficial bullshit that so many people spend their entire lives, you know, pouring all their efforts into, and it just strips that right down to the raw human spirit and, um, and I think for me, that's, you know, and when we're there it's. We're amongst a community where we can just feel normal, or a sense of normalcy in those small moments until we go back to real life, where we're a minority or where we're surrounded by people that we may feel like we're always being judged. It's not just the athlete now, it's the human behind it, and para sport really does bring that all together for me anyways, I've realized, you know, in able-bodied sports, you know, sometimes we work hard to make our bodies look good and have this perfect image of what beauty is.
Speaker 2:And here's my six-pack and here's my muscles, and you know, those things don't matter, those things don't matter. Those things don't don't matter anymore. You know what's your dating and your, your. You know everyone, everyone wants a height of whatever the minimum is, or the averages with the guys, or this or that, it doesn't fucking matter. This guy doesn't have legs and he's got a heart of gold. Who gives a shit? You know, and, and I still feel, I still feel like that part is judged for sure. But I think that kind of it really humbles you because it it makes you realize you know just the real things about humanity.
Speaker 2:You know, and, and we, we all, live these fast lives. It's, you know, grow up and get your education and then find a partner and then have, have a baby, and then you know, and it's just this fucking treadmill and no one ever slows it down. And you know, we we really do get caught up in lots of those things and, honestly, I lost most of my girlfriends since, um, you know, before my accident stuff and and um, they were my friends for 20 some years and I know you grow apart, uh, and that's that hurt me so much. You know that, no matter what, in the moments where I could die any second, they still didn't show up. And I was the one in my girl group that always showed up for them. I was always the one. They went through breakups, whatever it was. I would drain myself being there for them and I like feeling needed, I like helping people. So that fulfilled me.
Speaker 2:You know, there there's when you, when you stay humble and when you stay true to the real things in life, um, you have a completely different outlook on what it means to be breathing this air that we all are and how much we take for granted. And you, you realize that real fucking quick when you have so much taken away, because all you have to grasp at is what you do have left and those things don't matter anymore. Right? So it's just yeah, it it absolutely humbles you in every way. It it's uh I'm not saying that there can't be cocky para, para athletes, I'm sure they're out of there, um, but for me, I just uh, I just look around at all these different you know white Knights, and and, and all of their communities and and everything that they're fighting for, and you know, and, and so it's hard now.
Speaker 2:It's hard now when I hear people complain about the smallest things. You know some of these people. They can't even go to the bathroom on their own, you know, they can't even get out of bed on their own, and they're still even get out of bed on their own. And they're still showing up to wheelchair rugby with a fucking smile on their face and unbelievable, like when I, when I went out to my wheelchair rugby, the auto stingers in Ottawa, these guys saved my life, man, because you know all different functions and it didn't matter. It was like they are just plain adult bumper cars with the biggest smiles on their faces and they felt alive in those moments and they went after it and they got after it and they didn't give a shit. It didn't matter that when they went home maybe everything else was shit, everything else.
Speaker 2:And that's what parasport is. It's literally our purpose in life. It's literally with my chronic pain. It is terrible every second, every day, and people see me put a smile on my face. They can judge. Well, she looks fine, she's smiling. But I get out of bed and I take all my cognitive capacity, I take everything that physically and mentally in that day and I give it towards my parasport for my purpose, to feel like I can have some self-worth back. And when I'm done I crawl right back into bed and that's all I do. And so that's the biggest thing with parasport is that it's saved so many of our lives, so many of us. We have many friends that aren't with us anymore.
Speaker 2:And you know it doesn't have to be parasport, it can just be any sort of passion, but you know it still applies to everybody. You know in life and having those passions it could be an artistic outlet, it doesn't have to be sports, but that's definitely something that I've learned is that I had to find a new purpose again, and sometimes we lose that purpose in our life. Sometimes it is pulled away from us for all sorts of different reasons, but you know we have to fight to get that back. Or you know, if we don't have that one reason to get out of bed every day, then you know your whole life can be a lot different. So I think that's really in the grand scheme of things. That's kind of what keeps me humble is, you know, I just fight for a little piece of my life back every single day, a little piece of my identity, and that's, that's what I would. What refills my tank just enough to keep getting out of bed every day. So that's yeah.
Speaker 1:That was really, really powerful. Um, your passion, your just the, the authenticity, the rawness, just it's so powerful and just really inspiring and eye-opening, I'm sure for myself and anyone listening that may have taken some things for granted. I hope this is just an eye-opener for all of us that like yeah, man, just yeah, we're just both looking at each other crying.
Speaker 2:It's getting dark down here, so I was like yeah, I see your eyes, though still.
Speaker 1:Okay. Well, that was just so powerful, so you spoke to it a little bit more more. But if you could just speak to uh, um, okay, one sec, let me compose myself and ask the question. Uh, obviously you have a lot of experience in both able-bodied sports and para sports. You just shared a lot of what makes para sports amazing, but I also want to know, like, what do the two have in common in terms of structure, organization and community, and where and how can we improve, like those of us that can contribute to just the betterment of sport for one and all?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it's, it's's. I would love to see. I would love to see the olympics and paralympics just be sort of um molded together into to one event. It's at the exact same place. So for me, you know, um, what's really cool in in para canoe and para and para kayak is that it's the only um para sport that is actually tied in with the able bodies. So when I yeah, so the world championships, uh, it was in Dartmouth in Canada this year, not that we compete against the able bodies, but the events, it's not the same event, um, they're just, you know, scheduled amongst each other kind of thing, and and it works flawlessly and um, it really normal, helps to normalize um things, for whether it's the audience, whether it's the able-bodied athletes, whether it's for us when we train together. I'll be going down to California with Team Canada in November for a training camp at the Chula Vista Paralympic Training Center, and it's with the able-bodied team as well. So we're really well integrated in this sport. And so it's the first time that I've seen that, and so it's the first time that I've seen that Um and I, I just think it's phenomenal because you know um they're, they're, they released um the.
Speaker 2:The Paris 2024 games. Uh, in France, whatever they just released over these past few weeks, that they're actually going to use the same five ring symbol for the first time of sport for for for Paris sport and for, um, the regular Olympics so I thought that's, that's. That says a lot, speaks volumes, because it's kind of not segregating us, right, and it's it's, it's, it's. You know, there's a whole movement about inclusivity now, um, and that was just wonderful to see because, you know, um, there's still, there's still so much that is separated and there's going to be different mixed views and stuff like that on it. But to me, I don't see why the same sports can't be done at the same sort of time or the same kind of couple-week span, and maybe that makes it a four or five-week stint instead, but it allows everything to be together.
Speaker 2:I mean, right now, this is something that I, this is something that I that I I like to mention is that you know, um, there's no medal bonuses for Paralympians in Canada. So, uh, at the Tokyo? Um Olympics was the first time that the U? S actually is leading this, which, um, kind of obsessed me that they're ahead of us on this front, to be honest. Um, but they're. They're actually matching for the athletes, the able-bodied and Paralympian athletes, the medal bonuses. So in Canada there still isn't bonuses for the medal bonuses for Canadian athletes, for Paralympic athletes.
Speaker 2:So I'm really hoping that we can bridge that gap in the years to come because it is already very difficult for all athletes in Canada with funding and getting the support that we need for all of the training. And you know lots of the costs that we have, especially with para sport. You know we have lots of accessibility equipment. I have carbon fiber seats, you know those are three or four grand each one on their own. Fiber seats, you know those are three or four grand each one on their own. My boats, you know seven, eight grand.
Speaker 2:So it's it's very difficult to, for lots of, lots of Canadian athletes are known to sort of have to leave the sport because they're in so much debt that they can't, they can't continue on with it and they have to retire just so that they can try and work themselves out of debt.
Speaker 2:So you know there's some wonderful organizations like CanFund that I was lucky enough to get sponsored by you know that do tons of work in the different communities of raising money, you know, for the different athletes in Canada. But you know, as far as with our government goes to me, I'm hoping one day that they'll be able to pony up a lot more, because all the Canadian athletes still have to have a job when they're trying to train for their country. And how are we supposed to compete with that with all these other countries that just have a full-time job as an athlete? It's just not realistic in that same sense. And that's why when we do medal, it is even more phenomenal. Not that it's not already, but, um, you know when we, if we could, if we could solely focus on that, um, you know it, it absolutely do volume, volumes for the outcome of of our are the games for our country. So that's uh, but that's, that's not a new fact.
Speaker 1:So yeah, it may not be, but I'm not sure if everyone listening knows that. How different the landscape of sport is in canada the first place, and then when you're looking at like able-bodied versus parasports, like grassroots versus varsity, versus competitive versus like professional, they all, they all have their own. There's just so many things. Yeah, we, we, we gotta really change it up, and I hope for the future, especially because to compete at your level it takes so much, it takes so much and so much time. It is a full-time job to be like a professional, elite athlete, so you absolutely should be compensated, absolutely yeah, if we could don't, we don't end it.
Speaker 2:It's funny too, because we don't even want to be paid. We just want our, our sort of our funding to be supported so that we can just do the training and get the equipment we need, like none of us are even, you know, paid athletes. We just want to to to be able to focus on training. You know, like it's just yeah.
Speaker 1:I love that nervous, dismissive laugh, cause you're like ha ha ha, I don't even know what to do, but laugh through this Cause it sucks. Oh man, oh yeah, okay, well, honestly, this was, I think, one of my favorite talks ever. I appreciate you so much. Thank you so much for just your realness and rawness and sharing everything with us. And, um, I don't even know if I like, I just keep trying to absorb the things you're saying. I'm like did I say something in English? Did I ask a question? I'm just sitting here like trying not to sob through my glasses and you're amazing and, uh, you already left us with so many golden nuggets and wisdom and heart and passion, and is there anything else that you want to leave our listeners with? Do you have?
Speaker 2:I mean, there's always some of these sayings that I try and stick close to or that that I think are kind of some of my mottos, and you know the, the that you may have heard before, but they're true to me, I guess is you know the, the the comeback can always be greater than the setbacks. And you know my, my, one of my other ones is is you know, once you believe in yourself, you become unstoppable. And my last one I think that I feel is the most powerful, is is you know, don't, in life, don't wait for the storm to pass. You need to learn how to dance in the rain. So those are my top three. I guess that I would my little golden nuggets for you that I can leave you with.
Speaker 1:That's awesome, as you really embody it. It's not just, you know that, like random little quotes on Instagram. It's like no, no, it really is, it really is. And thank you for sharing those golden nuggets and just being, um, an absolute pillar of strength. And you said the word grit at some point and like yeah, like I in the introduction I was trying to come up with different, as you heard, like different adjectives and I'm like they're none of them fit, but like I'm like yeah, grit, grit's a good one. I'm gonna, I'm gonna make sure to add that in there Grit's a good one.
Speaker 2:I'm going to. I'm going to make sure to add that in there. Yeah, grind and grit, I like those two. That's a grind and grit. I like those two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like actually though did you read that book Uh grit by uh, I think.
Speaker 2:Angela, no, no, I have to. I have to read that.
Speaker 1:It's a really good book, cause that's one of the things that actually they were. It's a really good book because that's one of the things that actually they were. It's it's one of the tools of where they were talking about, where people can make it like where the resiliency come from and like the, the study I'm butchering it as I'm telling you this story because my mind wasn't on it. Anyway, you got to read that book but they were talking about that's one of the most like markers of the success, or that tenacity. Is that grit? Because you either have it or you don't. It's like that nurture nature conversation. It's like you may, you may be, have all these accolades and have all these skills and talents. But if, do you possess that grit, do you have that, I guess, guess, built in you, and I'll take your face and put it next to the word grit in the dictionary.
Speaker 2:So oh, my goodness, look. So I need a new motivational book, so I'll have to read that one.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for having me absolutely thank you, thank you, thank you, thanks for watching.
