I'm a nutrition and fitness professional, a lover of pie and a curious human on planet Earth. Today's guest is the wonderful Marsha Van Weisberg. Marsha studied kinesiology and worked as a registered kinesiologist and personal trainer for over 25 years. She also taught marketing and entrepreneurship to other health professionals. Today she is a master NLP neuro-linguistic programming trainer, a storytelling trainer, a speaker, a podcaster with nearly 900 episodes, a seven time published author.

Speaker 1: 0:46

So I met Marsha. Last year at this time, so March of 2024, I was at a beach hotel in Moine, vietnam, clicking away on Instagram, shout out to the wonderful Taylor Kelly and, yeah, one thing led to another and I ended up on a call for a group called Alliance, and this was basically a different kind of group networking, and it's co-launched by Marsha and Megan Weir, and it's been great. If you're a woman in business, you should check it out. Right now, though, let's chat a little bit more about our guests and the upcoming topic. So Marsha teaches the power of radical responsibility and owning your choices in your own life, but she does it with firm love and compassion, believing in you while calling you out.

Speaker 1: 1:42

So I've listened to many of her episodes and it's like you're getting many, many pep talks in your ear, because we all sometimes need that, and it has been really great to see the growth that we can have and the reinvention we can have and the things we can do with our stories. So for all of those reasons, and much more, I thought that Marsha would be the perfect person to chat with about today's topic, which is subconscious thoughts and how they influence behavior change. I am very grateful for this conversation and I cannot wait to share with you. Let's get right into it. You often encourage others to share their story and to own your choices, own your life. Can you share a defining moment when you truly started living by this philosophy, and why is taking radical responsibility such a game changer?

Speaker 2: 2:43

Okay, so two questions. First off, thank you for having me. I'm thrilled to be here First time, so I will never, ever ever ask my clients or anyone in my life to do something I haven't done. That just does not happen. So when I talk about, like, the power of you know, sharing your story and putting yourself out there, that was the journey that led me on to all the work that I do now.

Speaker 2: 3:06

I was a parent who was dealing with teen substance abuse. We were in a space where there was a lot of shame, a lot of judgment, a lot of criticism, and whenever you are feeling shame in your life everybody can relate to shame. Nobody wants to say they felt it, but everyone has felt it or feels it daily. It literally takes away your voice, right, it just shuts you down and when that happens, shame just continues to grow. So with our story, there's a lot of open, you know, criticism and opinions and judgments, and I found myself just being like super, super small and it actually quickly, like it took a therapist to say why don't you look into Facebook groups Like this would be back in 2012 and 2013. See if there's anyone else. And because, honestly, at that time nobody talked about this, so I thought we were literally the only people that were, which is so naive, but that's what you think when you're in that space Went into a Facebook group, found a hundred thousand moms and I was like what the heck is happening here? Like I literally was like how is this possible? And all of a sudden I just started to watch and listen and see and I knew that, okay, there had to be more of us and I started to do some work in the school and speak to teachers and other parents and I think for me and you know other parents, and I think for me, I had a couple of like small engagements that I was speaking at and our CBC radio like your CBC news had reached out to see if I would be interested in doing an interview, and so we did an interview and then I went to actually do it live and when I did it live, I at that point still hadn't told a whole lot of people what was happening and I in my, my brain, I was like, well, it's okay, cause nobody listens to that, right, like nobody listens to that, and it blew up and it absolutely blew up and I was like, oh, okay, well, now it's all out there and I felt this feeling. If you've ever had a story that you held onto and you have a lot of shame around it as soon as you speak it, it's like all of a sudden you're like, oh my God, I can breathe, like I just can breathe. I felt like this and that's the piece, right Is? I started to recognize that the story only had so much power over me because I was giving it power. I was giving it power and I, so I started to be in a space of you know how can I share it in safe places? How can I do something good with it? What if I could do something good with a difficult story and that led into the early stages?

Speaker 2: 5:33

You asked about radical responsibility and radical ownership. This was something, really, that I did learn early and I still use these lessons on a regular, regular basis is like radical responsibilities, taking radical responsibility for myself, for my decisions, my thoughts, how I choose to show up, regardless of what's happening in my life, like everything in my life can be going absolutely like apeshit, crazy. It's still my responsibility to lead myself. I'm allowed to have bad days. I'm not saying that, but it's, it is my responsibility, and I heard a quote from Stephen Covey back when I started this whole journey that I reference all the time, and he said that you are not a product of your circumstances, you're a product of your decisions, and that just was a reminder that our decisions can dictate what we do in our life, regardless of what we're walking through. So that's kind of where it all started and that's why radical responsibility has been such a cornerstone in my whole life.

Speaker 1: 6:29

Thank you for sharing that. You've been so vocal about it, which is fantastic. The very first time, I think I came across that when we met last year. If I don't know if you watch eight mile, I love eight mile, right, okay, I love that. So you know what the? The, the final, the rap battle where eminem's character just sort of just lays it all out and then his opponents holding the mic and completely freezes because he, like you were saying, he owned his story so much as what are you going to use against me? I already said everything I needed to say. It's a great example. I mean, obviously, the situations that led you to having this radical responsibility are. That's really hard and I'm so glad that you put you on the next path, which you know we're. We were talking about NLP and how you're a master NLP practitioner. So I'm curious what led you to embrace the neuro linguistic programming? And again, a second question how did it shape you to approach your personal and professional development?

Speaker 2: 7:44

program, a sales technique, and I think that's how it was marketed a lot like literally how it was in for marketing. Now, the funny thing was is that, if I look back, I was actually doing NLP long before I realized it was called NLP. I had no idea. Back in again, 2012, 2013, when I was really making some changes, I started listening to Tony Robbins on YouTube. It was just that's all I could do. I didn't have coaching. I didn't have. We barely had podcasts. We had I had books and YouTube videos, and so really, in listening to Tony Robbins, I devoured his stuff and started to understand that my state was everything Like. Your state is how you show up to your situation. That's your like internal physiology, how you carry yourself.

Speaker 2: 8:24

And again, when you're walking through a really difficult situation, my state was crap, like it was actually. It was awful. I didn't have great state and my languaging was not good either, because all I ever said was I felt stuck, I was stuck, I was stuck in this, I had no choice, I had nothing like all the words that you hear me say now. I said the opposite up for years. I was just, I didn't have a choice, I was very stuck in my life, and so one of the first things I heard Tony say was that you know whatever you are using, like your brain, you are literally hearing yourself speak. You don't realize the power of your words. What's a word that you say that does not serve you? And I was like I knew it was stuck, but I didn't know how to not be stuck. So I started to learn the power of words and just the awareness of how can I change my language and what does that look like. And choice became another word where it was like I. I had to own what my choices were, regardless of what everyone else is doing around me. And even though that started during a really difficult time in my life, I still use those words all the time, like I still use them day in, day out podcast wise, real life wise. So I was doing a lot of NLP long before I knew it was NLP and then, in 2020, I turned 50.

Speaker 2: 9:36

I had spent 27 years as a registered kinesiologist COVID comes jobs gone overnight, immediately overnight, and it was like, okay, well, can I work on Zoom? And we couldn't even legally work on zoom. And so I remember the next morning I woke up and at that point. You know I'd already written my solo book, I had done some, I'd published a collaborative book. Um, I I done a little bit of coaching like nothing, really not, not a lot and I'd run a couple of live events.

Speaker 2: 10:05

But I had this feeling that what I was doing in my full-time job was not my forever job. But I didn't know how I was going to make a change. So the next morning I woke up as March 18th we're coming up almost on the five year anniversary, which is wild March 18th I get up and I start working on my computer. My husband comes in and he's like it's like seven, 30 in the morning. He's like what are you doing? And I'm like I'm working. And he's like it's the world has shut down, marcia. Like what are you doing? And I'm like well, what if this was the time I prayed for? I literally said that what if this was the time I prayed for? The time to figure it out? He goes it's two weeks, want to waste this time? Like that was the. My thinking was already that this could be an opportunity.

Speaker 1: 10:47

I didn't know what I was doing.

Speaker 2: 10:53

I had no idea. But during that year, probably the next seven months, I was trying to figure out how to build a business, basically throwing every single piece of strategy spaghetti that I could against the wall, like literally just thinking I had to muscle and figure it out, and while in the background, my body was getting ready for needing an emergency back surgery that I did not know I needed. So during COVID, here we are. I'm in a space where you know I can't get my MRI, I can't get my. I had no idea what's happening, but I knew something. Having a lot of years of rehab experience, I knew it wasn't good, like I knew it wasn't good, but I didn't think it was that bad. And I finally got the MRI in August. Long story short, it was the doctor looked at me and he's like so this is what we're going to do, we're going to rebuild your spine. And I was like no, no, no, no, like we don't do back surgery, what can I do to make it better? And he was like nothing. Like if we don't do this, you're not walking, you're going to lose your ability to walk. And I was like okay. So here we are, this is what we're doing, and I'm prepping for back surgery.

Speaker 2: 11:48

And in the process of prepping for back surgery, nlp had crossed my, my phone, my vortex, and I remember being in the hospital and reading about it while I was recovering and one of the things that spoke to me specifically was that NLP would help you to release, like stuck emotions and stories that you have held onto and that you maybe have lived on repeat. And it just became this little spark for me that I was like well, you know what I've actually like. I'm sitting here in the hospital, I'm recovering, I'm on my own and I've had 13 abdominal surgeries. I've had a lot of physical trauma, I've had a lot of emotional trauma and I can honestly say at that point, at 50 years old, I don't think I had ever really given an ounce of time to even think about how do you heal? Like you just move on, you just do it. Like you, you put masculine strategy and you just do it. And it really started to open up a question of like what if I actually this is part of the issue that I have to work on so it just started to spark some questions, is what it did, and I took my practitioners from 2020 to 2021.

Speaker 2: 12:59

And I still didn't fully understand everything that I learned, but it certainly opened up my eyes to realize, like a lot of pieces and I know we're going to talk about it today but a lot of pieces that you know you can't out, muscle something that you don't think is possible, you cannot outwork, something that you subconsciously do not believe you can do. And that was when I really started to get real with some of my own limiting beliefs and things that were there and how much work I hadn't done on that piece of it. I just got curious. I didn't have any intention of, like, building a coaching business. I just thought I think this is for me and that's where it went. So many people come to me and they're like I don't have a coaching business. I'm like that's all right. I didn't either when I started, but it was just. I think that, no matter what, we're always leading ourselves and I got curious for myself and decided to do the work.

Speaker 1: 13:51

It's the curiosity, right, you never know where it goes. At least it's never lost. If you learn something, great, you learn something. You can apply it however you want. That is so powerful. I'm still processing time. I'm like with you in the story and I'm like so many, so many things were said. Yeah, we're at the five-year mark. Almost. It's March 4th, everyone it's March 4th while we're recording this. So we're quite literally two weeks out. So one thing I found really interesting you're touching on vocabulary and so I have a bachelor in communication and I was always very, very intrigued by stories. So I started in journalism. I was, I wanted to be a broadcast journalist when I was a teenager. It's so much the power of the word you mentioned, like language I was found a very intriguing. So, as I was researching NLP to learn more, about it and I was very intrigued that it was debated.

Speaker 1: 14:44

But you know, obviously on the internet you find everything. It was interesting because it's polarizing and some were calling it pseudoscience and I was really not completely understanding that perspective because it's the power of the word, and so how is that pseudoscience? So I'm curious how did you respond to the criticisms? And, given that you mentioned you have 27 years as a registered kinesiologist and you have a bachelor of science, like, how was your experience with this? How did you approach learning more about NLP with that science lens and something you didn't fully understand just yet?

Speaker 2: 15:19

Yeah, I actually I'm grateful for my science lens because I do think differently. Right, you ask different questions and I did spend most of my life in what would be considered, like you know, black or white. It was like you had the right answer or you didn't, like it was just that's how my thinking was and through the lens, I think that I think it's safe to say that every thing that's available, somebody will always have a different opinion on it, and I also feel that some really good methods can be done inappropriately too, like, I feel like that's a piece, and I know that I did think that NLP was about a sales program, because I really think that's how it was marketed for a long time. Right, you learn how to do this so that you can increase your sales and you know if you really want to break that down one step further, the reason you can increase your sales is because you become a better communicator, and that's what language is. Right, you can become a better communicator. In my opinion, nlp is learning how to communicate better and you ask better questions, and so when I combined my 27 years with this work, it really opened up my eyes that I was like you know what I think I've actually been prepping for this my whole life. Like I have worked.

Speaker 2: 16:32

When you work with people in post rehab, you work with a ton of fears, a lot of like a lot of pain, a lot of coaching to help encourage them to move. And something that really stuck for me if you have either yourself or anybody listening, you've ever had an injury? Have you ever seen or felt your body respond before you go do something? So, for example, like I work with a client, I'm like, okay, we're going to go over here and immediately they would contract. I'm like we haven't even moved yet, like we're not even over there. That's an example of how fast your body responds before you even do an action. Fear is actually constrictive. It does stop us. It's not like, oh, that's in your head, no, no, your body actually goes into a contraction phase to keep you safe, and so I just started to really understand these pieces of it and apply my own lens to it.

Speaker 2: 17:23

But when it comes down to it, your subconscious mind wants to keep you safe, and safe means in the exact same space not growing, not changing, and typically doing something that is predictable and something that it knows what the result is. So when you set a goal of saying, okay, I'm going to do X, y and D, you might be very excited about what you're doing, but inside your subconscious mind is going, oh no, no, we didn't go that way. That's like that's. I don't know what that is, that's unknown, let's just stay here where it's like. It's nothing that we want, but we know what the outcome is Like. It's predictable.

Speaker 2: 18:06

So I really started to understand that and see those pieces with it, and so I could apply the science lens to it, recognize that I feel a lot of people do misuse things that are there. I do think there's probably still people that use this kind of training to manipulate sales, and I think that if that's your focus, I'm wondering how much fulfillment you have from your job and what you do. And then the other thing is is that it's? I think that when you do something manipulative like that, personally when it comes to sales, like I think that's toxic money. That's my opinion. I think it's toxic money. I will never convince somebody to come into any of my coaching programs. I I, literally I will give you the information, I will give you the details, but I want to empower people to make the decisions. So I don't use it that way.

Speaker 2: 18:47

The other thing is is that you know, when one of the things that helped me change so much and see it differently was because I led myself as a student first through the work. I didn't take it to apply it only to business. I was the student and I became a student and I practiced it and I learned it. And when I learned it, there was no question that there's a difference from being in this masculine push like crazy, constant burnout, like I probably burnt out twice a year and almost became a bit of a badge of honor. Because that's what you do, right, you work hard. And but underneath the story of working hard was this feeling of like not being enough, not like trying to prove your worth, all these pieces. So I doing that work helped me to see that it's. There was a repeat story that was on like constant repeat loop here. That's what had to change and by doing that, that creating change for me, that's what helped it to move forward.

Speaker 2: 19:46

So I think that you have to be the student of your own work If you're going to teach anything. If you have to, it's done with integrity, and there's always going to be people that have opinions that are different and you become the embodiment of the work. So that's how I tend to lead with it. But yeah, there still is. There's all kinds of opinions and thoughts out there and with my training it was like six months to do my master's or my practitioners. My master's was like eight months, my trainers was another two months. And I see, you know, get your NLP certification online for like $97. And I'm like I I don't even understand how you do that. Like that's me as a very much a lack of integrity, but you're going to find all spectrums everywhere. I'm really grateful for the kind of training that I did.

Speaker 1: 20:30

Absolutely Everything you said. Your story is so relatable. So relatable, as you know, and I appreciate that you were from the kin world, you were in fitness and you saw the rehab because, yeah, obviously I'm a, I'm a trainer, I'm in muay thai, I was in contact sports my entire life and it's such a it comes up a lot, especially the injury aspect, the fear of getting back into sport, and whether it's myself, like I've been through some injuries, or my clients or my colleagues that are athletic therapists or physios, and the conversations I've had with them. So it's very interesting to see if you've worked with people in person and you've done the physical work. It's like that's one part of it. So I can completely appreciate where you could basically apply NLP techniques, which is just changing your communication as you're doing with yourself, with yourself, with yourself.

Speaker 2: 21:27

And here I was in the hospital recovering from back surgery. I had two like major um life threatening instances happen in the hospital and so you're in there by yourself. You're fighting literally for your life, literally. I had did have an out of body experience that I can still vividly recall and remember, and so a lot was out of my control, very amped up energy that was there and I had created I'd been listening to subliminals on my phone before I even knew how to make them and hypnosis, because I knew it was going to help to calm my nervous system and combining it with the background.

Speaker 2: 22:06

In kin, I set a timer once I was like free to move, which was the next morning, and I practiced rolling over in bed every hour. Rolling over in bed and the reason I want to share this is because before I went to move, I could feel my body go like oh, no, no, that's not safe, that's like that's going to. I'm like, no, your body is healing. We all know like the second you cut your finger, it starts healing immediately and it's just like it's a meat. So if you cut your finger and you keep it like this and immobilize it, the second you go to bend it, it will crack and bleed open. Can you apply some movement while it's healing? So I know how the body heals.

Speaker 2: 22:40

So I started practicing movement and I cannot tell you, every single nurse that came in was like you can't do this, this is not safe, it's too much, you're overdoing it and I'm like all I'm doing is rolling over in bed, literally rolling over in bed, and I did that for the first, like morning to afternoon, and then they got me up to walk and then every hour I rolled over, I got out of bed. It took me like 15 minutes to get out of bed and I just got. So I was doing that every, you know, one to two hours. By the end of the next day my doctor came in and he's like I knew you would be a good candidate, like I just knew you would be a good candidate because you would move.

Speaker 2: 23:17

By the time I got home my husband was like what the? I just never thought, and I'm not saying like you have to move, but it wasn't coming from a pushing state, I was listening to my body. You're safe. You're safe, you can move. We're rolling over. These are normal things that we do. It's going to be uncomfortable, and so even that communication with myself, I actually believe, helped me to heal significantly faster than what most people would have done.

Speaker 1: 23:44

It's a powerful story, and really it's such an extreme case of an injury that when you can apply what you just said to that but yeah, it's applicable to anything If you do something like you sprain an ankle, you tear an ACL, you get something like, as you're about to do that, you'd still have a little bit of that apprehension of like I should be careful with my knee, and you know that language creates that tension you were talking about, and I know a lot of people are a bit afraid of going back into sport right after injury, and it's usually like your body's fine or healed. It's your mind that you have to convince, and this is, I guess, one of the tools in order to do that right your conscious mind and your unconscious mind. So let's dive into that. Setting up my question, that conversation, we have roughly 6,000 thoughts a day and the exact numbers debated, but what we do know is that a lot of them are repetitive and negative.

Speaker 1: 24:39

So you know, we're creatures of habits, literally across many areas. So psychology, the perspectives of what is unconscious, is different definition, but I was looking up. So, from cognitive science, social science, to Freud, psycho dynamic theories, we all have concluded, though, that there is a subconscious mind. Can we actually dig deep into how that applies into our daily lives?

Speaker 2: 25:05

Okay, so I love this stuff. We have 60 to 80,000 thoughts a day. Okay, so, 60 to 80,000 thoughts a day, 80 to 90% of those we repeat every day of our lives, every single day. That means you're saying the same things to yourself every single day and 90% of those repetitive thoughts are negative. So we are 90% of our thoughts 60 to 80,000 thoughts a day. And just to give you a frame of reference, I wrote a book that's about 130 pages. That's probably 30,000 words. So, so, two books a day. We are speaking to ourselves, 80 to 90% of it. We're reading the same book every single day and 90% of the words in it are negative.

Speaker 2: 25:47

Okay, so, just the frame of reference to give you a start. That is before the world gets you. Your social media gets you. The news gets you your like depressing friends that like just beat you down your family. That's before all of it. That's just you and you. That's you and you. So if you want to give yourself a fighting chance, you have better find a way to build a better relationship with you versus you.

Speaker 2: 26:09

That's my first thing I have to say, and that was like an eye opener. Right, I went okay, wow, no wonder, it's like it's a challenge, right? So that is what I mean by this is, like you, the this subconscious mind is really your body. Okay, it's your body, is actually what? So if I have something, and let's just say I am six years old, because most of our subconscious mind is is framed up until the age of eight, then I think it's eight to 12 is a lot of our analytical mind in between, and then we have like, actually our conscious mind starts to form after that and so that means that and some people will say, I didn't have any major trauma, it doesn't matter, it doesn't because it's it's your perception of life, right? Like it's not just, it's big T's, little T's and it's a perception. So your interpretation of things that you hear, and if you have something that happens, say, when you're six years old and a parent says why can't you be more like your sister? Why can't you be better at this? Why can you like, okay, well, I'm not as good. Or maybe you grew up in a situation where it's a very chaotic environment and you learn how to read the room really quickly, and it's like, okay, well, if I just do my own thing and I, like you know, become independent and I don't ask for help, and become a perfectionist, then that's a good thing. And then, all of a sudden, you're praised for that and now it's like well, now I can't ask for help because this is how I so.

Speaker 2: 27:36

Subconsciously, we then start to reinforce patterns and we have our lifetime to keep rebuilding, reinforcing the same pattern. So that's really what happens. So the subconscious mind, if you can think of, like your hard drive here, it's running nonstop. Right, it's just running, running, running, running, running. You don't actually make it do once you turn it on, it just keeps going Consciously is me getting there to like, hit the keyboard like crazy to get something else to open, to get something else to change, to run my you know, 2025 laptop on the hardware hard on the software program of 2015,.

Speaker 2: 28:19

It's not going to run as well. So if I don't ever update my thoughts, if I don't ever change my thinking, if I don't ever change my thinking, if I am running on the exact same programming that maybe it's not even mine, maybe it's my parents, like it might not even be mine. Sometimes we don't even question what we're saying and what we're thinking. Then it's really hard to create something new and move forward, and so a couple of things that are important about our subconscious mind and move forward. And so a couple of things that are important about our subconscious mind that, like, once it perceives something was painful, traumatic, difficult, it's almost like it severs parts. It doesn't act to ourself off and it's like a board that's not a safe place to go. I don't go there. I don't put myself out to speak publicly because remember when you got laughed at when you were six and it was actually like really embarrassing. So we don't do stuff like that and so it just avoids things that are perceived as difficult.

Speaker 2: 29:09

And our subconscious mind is meant to keep us safe and so we have to train it Like, what are we safe to do? How can we like? Sure, those? Those lessons served me well when I was six, but I'm not six anymore Like I and I'm safe now. This is it, but it's. It takes time to teach yourself and learn that.

Speaker 2: 29:29

And so, when it comes down to it, you've got your conscious mind. Is your 5% Okay and your subconscious mind is not running 95% of the programming? So 95% of my programming was literally designed before I was eight years old and that means that I could be doing all the work reading the books, listening to the podcast, doing the things like consciously working hard to change my goals and where I'm going to but my subconscious programming is like the eight year old girl that's running around throwing a temper tantrum Without addressing the subconscious mind. You continuously push harder and burn out because you're avoiding what the actual belief is, and that that was my aha, and you know there's a lot of different ways to teach it and say it. But when I started to recognize like I I was burning out twice a year, regular, so hard on myself, I'm like you know, like if you could just get more done Meanwhile, honestly, I was probably doing literally five times more than most people, and it was still at the root of it. It was never enough. It was never enough and that's a subconscious programming.

Speaker 2: 30:36

And so really, if you want to create lasting change, you have to get the subconscious mind on board with the direction that you're moving in, and when you do that, then you start building beliefs in order to move forward. So, for example, if you have a ruler and you're like your comfort zone is in the one centimeter, say it's in a one centimeters where your comfort zone is. That's like kind of what your subconscious beliefs are in yourself. You can be over here putting like efforts in at the 15, like working hard, trying to get it done, but the beliefs are down here. The job is to a put the effort in but also be start moving the ruler of what you believe is possible. And that means doing tiny things that maybe are a tiny bit out of your comfort zone, building evidence that I'm okay, like I'm okay and I'm safe. And then it's like okay, comfort zone. Building evidence that I'm okay, like I'm okay and I'm safe. And then it's like okay, now I have evidence and I can keep going back to that. So it's a process.

Speaker 2: 31:31

It takes time, but this is lasting change. When you involve the subconscious mind, you create lasting change. You don't create the peaks and jumps and valleys and ups and downs, and then that also, when you address the subconscious mind, you learn how to build. It takes time, but regulate the nervous system to hold more, like really be in a space of regulating the nervous system to be able to hold the times of expansions, the things that are uncomfortable. So without combining the subconscious mind, you're missing 95% of what you are capable of, right? So if you, you, if you take one of your athletes and you tell them to just keep going like crazy and push and push and push and push and push, train harder, train harder. If you stop them and ask like, do you actually believe that this is possible for you? And if they're like no, then they could train, could train like seven days a week or a day, it will not matter, because the belief is actually, does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 32:31

Absolutely and fundamentally so, relatable to everybody who brought up the athletes. That's essentially what's the whole. We're getting into the all the techniques that sports psychology has. That's it. It's like, how do you take someone's you know natural talent, but how do they become a champion? Like, right, it may or may not be the technique, it may or may not be the athleticism, it's very much could be the mindset and that's what this one person versus the other, um, so interesting. It's another tool that's reinforcing the things we hear about right. So, if you're in the growth mindset, like, how do you?

Speaker 2: 33:09

keep growing. I've seen a number of clients who, so interesting they created like change. They overcame injuries they never thought was possible, the ones I can think of and again speaking of identity, that feels like a lifetime ago. But the ones that actually did create the change were the ones who were open to learning how they were open to learning, how they were open to seeing and hearing where they're not best supporting themselves, right, like where they where they're cutting themselves short. I see it in the work that I do now with clients, where a client is wanting to speak up and share. They want to, like speak in front of a group and they want to. They feel so, like, drawn to doing it.

Speaker 2: 33:53

And then there's this fear of like, my God, what's going to go wrong? What's going to go wrong? Again, subconscious mind is like it's actually on alert, looking for what could go wrong. So if you're like what could go wrong, the subconscious mind responds to you and says oh, you want evidence of what goes wrong. Just a second, here's all your stories and all the things that you tried, something, cause it's responding to you. It's actually like you're actually in charge. It's responding to you and so when you do that, it's like here's all your evidence of all the things that you've done, remember when that went really bad and when this one went wrong, and remember, and so all of a sudden you're like all right, I can't do that, that's not safe. Meanwhile you actually had more control than you thought. So I've seen clients all of a sudden get up, be so afraid to get up and share, do a live, do a like, speak at an event, and they overthink it and they're scared to do it. And then they do it. I'm like how was it? And they're like not as bad as I thought, not as bad as I thought, because we paint the worst case scenario Right. So I've seen that I think that kind of work I had to do through my own healing with my back surgery, even when I got home.

Speaker 2: 34:58

When it comes to healing through an injury, it's a case of, you know, I get ready to move and I start to feel better and it's like, okay, well, I can do longer, right, I can walk for longer. And all of a sudden I'd start to do that and I'd be like out further distance, walk away and crap, that's way too far, I shouldn't have done that. But that's old patterns. That's me Like if, if, if 10 minutes is good, 20 must be great, right, that's just the thinking of how my old programming was, then having to learn that I also have to listen to what my body needs and how I can best support myself. So it is actually interesting.

Speaker 2: 35:36

And you talk about identity, because I talk a lot about identity. When I came from 27 years as a kinesiologist, it took me a long time to change my identity. That that's not who I am now, and there was even a time where I felt like like did I just waste 27 years doing something that like that's, it's so weird because my job is gone right. Like now I don't. I don't know what I do now. But it's interesting because I actually remember when I found that I was getting ready for surgery, that I sat there and I was like, okay, but I can't do surgery, it's not okay. Back surgery is not okay. That's how we were programmed. And my surgeon was like if I've ever met a patient who's ideal for it, it's you, like you know what to do, and I remember having a moment of. That was a switch for me. And identity switch was that wow. What if all of my experience was to help the most important client, rehab from a really like what I get was an asset, because I had a lot of people in the hospital. They didn't know what to do. They were completely reliant on someone else telling them, and so that was another. That was another big shift. But yeah, I've seen lots of clients on it. I've seen athletes do it. I've seen athletes do it firsthand.

Speaker 2: 36:45

My husband is a competitive Olympic weightlifter. He competed for Canada, went to Finland last year and I don't lift the weights. He does that, but you want to bet that it's work. On the other end, just working on the mindset piece, because it's something and, if I can share this, I'm being very like he's. He's he did. He does incredible work.

Speaker 2: 37:10

But when we went he competed um, he had not competed like on the world stage yet, and so when I watched him do his first warmup in Finland, I know his numbers, I know where he starts, I know what it looks like. I watched him do his first lift and I literally I'm in the crowds. I'm like I see fear on his face. I'm like I can see fear on his face and and it was, and so we actually afterwards had a really good chat about it and he was just like. I mean, it was so brand new to me. I'm like, yeah, yeah, it's brand new, and he's like and those guys were big. And I'm like and so are you like, and so are you like. You have to see yourself the way that you are.

Speaker 2: 37:49

And so I've seen athletes do this and I mean, when he started off, he did his snatch first and he really was not where he wanted to be and it was mentally playing with him and he came back out and there's a lot of games that go on with Olympic lifting and he ended up, you know, doing incredibly well and then the finishing second, because that was a major shift he had to do in just that time. So I think these tools, personally, they work for athletes, they work for post-rehab, they work for people starting a business. Like again, I can pour belief into anyone, I can put tons of belief into you. But if you're not open to receiving it, if you don't believe at the, at the deep subconscious level, that you are capable of going after what you want, then it it won't matter. You have to be willing to receive that and address whatever those beliefs are too. That was a lot Sorry.

Speaker 1: 38:49

No, I love not at all. Yes, please Keep going, marsha. Okay, two things. First of all, I love that and for me, that's basically why I got into sports. It was the vehicle for self-belief, because none of none of them made any sense.

Speaker 1: 39:06

Like I started, I had no idea what rugby was. When I was a teenager, I'd show up, I was horrible, I was horrible at it, but it it, it. It brought out things in me. You know. That's why I'm such an advocate for sport, because it shifted things. I'm like, well, I didn't know I could do that. And then I started to do things that I'm like, well, I didn't know I could do that.

Speaker 1: 39:29

And then it translates laterally in every area of life. Right, you kind of learn more about yourself and then that's how you know, speaking of fear, it's really, it's really, it's really illogical, but it really isn't about the other person. It's your own fears, your own anxieties, and for me, I don't want to become like a fight champion of the world. That was never the intention. It was another way to harness my anxiety, because I the reason I'm really interested in mindset stuff is younger me definitely had performance anxiety.

Speaker 1: 39:57

I just did a lot of things out of not being enough and just having to do more, and so seeing the power of sport and helping cultivate that mindset, and then falling into even more of these tools like learning about, you know, mindset training, sports psychology, nlp that's why I'm so intrigued by it, because you really, you know that that quote of whether you think you can or you can't, you're right, right, yeah, and that's what we're talking about here. So there's okay, opening up a new can of worms because we, we set it up. So now I'm going to ask it directly I'm curious, then how do we balance between the nature and nurture in shaping these beliefs and behaviors?

Speaker 2: 40:47

Okay, give me an example.

Speaker 1: 40:50

You said that if I'm not willing to receive, for example, so is that the work we've done with my subconscious? Or is that my character as a person? Like, did I come out of the womb as a toddler? I was always super curious, so I was very open-minded and so these modalities will work on me. Or was it because of 10 years of therapy that perhaps I'm now more open-minded, so then I can implement these tools? So would NLP be more? I don't want to say I don't know if it's productive or effective. If it's, you know someone's character or if they put work into it. Hence the nurture and nature debate. Like, I don't think it's one or the other, I'm just kind of curious.

Speaker 2: 41:33

Yeah, no, I love the question. I think that both are a factor. So now I've known people who have worked like, who have come through horrific stories like horrific, like traumatic stories, have done years of therapy and have had tremendous success with the NLP tools and healing, like subconscious healing, and I often say, you know, some people will say is this better than therapy? And I'm like I will never say that because I think therapy is very valuable. I do, I think it's very valuable and I spent a lot of time in therapy myself. And I also feel that if your therapy is only talk therapy, that is still not releasing, like the learning, how to release old subconscious beliefs, getting to the root of it. See, when you do NLP properly, you get to the root of where that belief comes from. And it might not be a specific situation, but you're getting more to the root of where it comes from. When you change the root of it, you can actually change, like, the blocks, the barriers, the beliefs that you have about yourself, so that you are more open to what is available to you, right, like it's. That's the piece that I would say. I think that they both serve a purpose Every child in my opinion. This is my opinion, but you can also like the book Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima. Really just talk in the sense that, like, everyone is worthy Right from when you are born. You are worthy Most kids.

Speaker 2: 43:03

If you look at the amount of physical space and belief that a toddler takes up, it's freaking huge. So what I felt? A hundred times I get up whatever it's what I do, right, I fell over big deal. It's like the parent's reaction that feeds it and they don't even think about taking up space, right. So if I often think about and I'm just gonna use myself as an example, I was a female who grew up in the time of you're too loud, stop being bossy, stop taking up space. And so when you hear things like that, you dim down because you're like oh, I'm not supposed to like, I'm supposed to play smaller, I'm supposed to do these things. So all of a sudden the conditioning starts to become that.

Speaker 2: 43:47

But deep in there was this piece. So when I was 11, I remember saying I wanted to do a public speaking contest and my parents were like oh, that's not safe. And I'm like what does safe mean? I didn't even understand what safe meant and they're like well, what if it doesn't go well? I want to do it, though. So I could have easily said, oh, that's not safe to do, and they didn't do it in a way that was hurtful, but that was their belief.

Speaker 2: 44:18

We are always influencing others by our own personal belief too, and I remember thinking, but I want to do it. I actually think it's kind of neat. I want to try it, and I mean I fought at 11 to go do it, and they were like, okay, well, only if you're sure. And I'm like I want to, and so it wasn't. Even I wasn't attached to what if I lose? I didn't even think of that, and so that's a big piece of it. We have our own personalities, but we are always living and growing as humans, right, and we're always changing. So I think everyone benefits from this kind of work. Personally, I really do, and I think if you're somebody who has really spent your life working like crazy, trying to accomplish something and you've never been quite there and you make it mean something about yourself that you're not capable of doing it, then yes, this work is very beneficial.

Speaker 2: 45:11

I cannot think of his name, but the scientist who did the study where you talk to a jar of water. It's the story where, if you talk negatively to a plant into to the water, it actually does start to change, and so a plant will get wilted and it won't grow. And it sounds wild, but when you really watch some of the studies, it's fascinating. Our language is affecting a living plant and that plant. For example, they've even done it with just glasses of water like straight water, no plant. For example, they've even done it with just glasses of water like straight water, no plant, and the water starts to get murky and moldy and it's. And then they have another one that they talk to with like, oh my God, I love you, this is beautiful, and it doesn't.

Speaker 2: 45:55

And so if you really think and understand that we'd just be really pseudoscience for a second we are 70% water. If we are, if we are 70% water and I talk shit to myself all day long, then therapy is one thing, but if I don't change the language of what I'm speaking to myself, like, I can talk about it, but if I'm not going to change how I'm leading myself, I'm never going to change. And so both I think it's required, I think that everything can serve a purpose. And again, it took me I was 50 before I was kind of very curious about maybe this is something to this. Like it was, I don't know if I was open before that, to be honest, but knowing what I know now, god, I wish I had been like. I wish I had been open earlier, because I really do believe I even see the conscious and the subconscious very similar to the masculine and feminine energy.

Speaker 2: 46:47

I think masculine energy is doing. I think you do have to do, I think you have to work. I do a hundred percent. I don't think it's as simple as we just sit and manifest and it happens. We actually have to put action in and we have to work on the feminine energy. That's the energy of how do we hold it? What's the beliefs that we're holding on to, how can we allow ourselves to receive? I think both are important and I think, when it comes to this kind of work, I think it's a myriad of a.

Speaker 1: 47:13

So I'm a nutritionist, so seeing the nutrition beliefs, and having these conversations with my clients and then recognizing you know how much, just helping them and myself constantly see where these beliefs and our behaviors around food are actually ours or influenced by, you know, environment, society, society our parents are upbringing, and how much everything is still layered. And so this is why I find this super intriguing is when you are talking about that behavior change and and as we're about to get into that in a second, is the talk therapy. I I am a big advocate for therapy, all sorts of things. Yep, to your point of doing it is you can talk in circles, say all the right things, but ultimately it's still you got to do the stuff. You can sit there and be analytical and dissect every part.

Speaker 1: 48:17

Well, when I was a child, my attachment theory is this this is how I behave with relationships. Great, I'm so glad you have this information. But until you're put back into a situation where now you're in some other relationship, how are you navigating this? Now you're put in a different situation, how are you implementing what you learned in therapy? Right, so they go hand in hand. It's like awareness, do more things, take action. I guess the subconscious work kind of falls into the after. You have that awareness so you can dig a little bit deeper. Let's let's talk about the lasting behavior change. We mentioned a little bit about athletes. You mentioned a little bit about entrepreneurs. So whether it's an athlete that's doing peak performance, whether it's a business person growing their business or someone quitting smoking, how do we rewire the unconscious thought patterns that keep them stuck your favorite word and how do we actually take the steps for lasting behavior change?

Speaker 2: 49:21

That's a. This is a great question and I and I'm I'm going to do my best to explain it in a few different ways. Every belief that we have this is going to seem wild for a second, but every belief that we have is a belief because right before it became a belief, we made a decision that it was true. Okay, so every belief that we have, there is a moment before it becomes a belief where we decide that it's true. So we hear a comment. We're like, oh, we make that mean something and that's the decision. And now the belief is this and that's what happens. So part of what we do with an NLP and some of the techniques cause we do a lot of subconscious and timeline work and submodality work where we're actually like helping to support and release a stuck emotion, a subconscious belief. That's there and you can get to like where is the root of that decision? Where did you make that decision?

Speaker 2: 50:13

Because lasting change is done at the identity level. I don't have the picture in front of me, but there's a lot of different filters that we take in information. Like we take in information, we're taking in like 2.3 million bytes of information every second. Every single second our conscious mind takes in 2.3 million bytes of information through all of our senses. And then our conscious mind is like, oh my God, I'm going to explode. I can't possibly take all that in. Let me run it through a bunch of filters and decide what's important. And as we go through all these filters, one of the last filters that really is where change is created is at the identity level. So we have to get to the root of where the belief comes from. We have to be able to start to see our identity differently. And then it is a consistent reprogramming in order to create that change. So when it comes down to it, like if you want to use an athlete for an example, I mean we've, we've all seen lots of success stories of people who have lost a lot of weight. We have, we've seen people they've, they've done it. Like hard work, you can do it. We've seen a lot of stories of people who have changed addictive behaviors and patterns. They've muscled through it, they've done it and they've created it Now without the subconscious work.

Speaker 2: 51:34

That also means that if you don't identify as the person who does these things, then you will regress back, because identity work is who you are, that's who you are your values at the core. That's who it is. So when people say, well, I'm going to start to get in shape and I'm going to train three days a week, and I'm like, okay, so three days a week, this comes back from my rehab days. Like three days a week is great, that's a good, consistent habit. But if you choose to go eat McDonald's seven days a week, I can't. I can't fix that with three days a week of work, right.

Speaker 2: 52:06

And so what it comes down to is looking at it going okay, the identity of the person who already has what you want. What are they? What are they doing? What do they see? Feel like? What do they see? What do they hear? What are they? What are they doing? Right. And you want to start to embody that identity of it. So you first release some of those stuck emotions that are there and then you really get clear of what the identity is of the person who has what you want and how you do that, too, is that your subconscious mind doesn't understand time.

Speaker 2: 52:36

So can you every day not just visualize and think about what you want to create? Can you get into the energy of it's already done? I see it, I feel it, I hear it. What do I see, feel and hear? And how would I show up if it was already done? So that's one of the questions I ask myself when I have a really difficult we had a lot of difficult conversations I had to have in business. Today. I'm like, oh my gosh, like why is it one of these days? And I'm like, but I asked for this, like I asked for this is what CEOs do. So I actually will stop when I feel the frustration and I'm like the version of me who already has what I say I want to create.

Speaker 2: 53:13

How does she handle these decisions? What decision does she make? How does she take care of herself every day? Does she prioritize sleep? Does she prioritize rest? Does she prioritize nervous system work? Well, she does. And when I asked myself that question, how would I, how would she make that decision? The answer is always like well, she would have made it 10 minutes ago because she's onto the next thing. That's just who. She is right, she doesn't overthink these things. And that's identity work. That's not fake it till you make it. Just to clarify for anybody who is hearing that that is not fake it till you make it. It is embodying the identity of the person who has done that and I know that that works. You know, I've, I've, and we all know people I've.

Speaker 2: 53:52

I don't have very many people in my life that smoke anymore, but I we had family members that quit and some they went through all kinds of like hypnosis and and a lot of therapy work to quit. And then others who were like, yeah, I just I don't do that anymore. And then they were just, they were just done. I'm like how do you just quit after 30 years, like because I'm not a smoker, I'm healthy and I'm not a smoker, and the languaging of how they would speak to themselves. That's who it is right If I am, if health is one of my top. A very simple example health is one of my top values health and relationships because I believe how I lead myself is how everything else is going to unfold. And so if I say that health is one of my top values, that's the identity of it. Does the person who has that identity does she make time for like rest, sleep, fitness, movement, you know, nervous system work? She does because it's priority.

Speaker 2: 54:48

So sometimes that also requires having a very difficult conversation with yourself to say, okay, I'm saying this is important, but I'm actually not leading myself like it's important. So how can I change this? Not out of shame or judgment, because I promise you back to the very beginning of the episode if you lead with shame or judgment, you are not changing anything. It will never, ever work because it'll just bring you right back down. So there are many times I have to have conversations with myself. I'm like okay, marcia, you said this is important, but let's look in your calendar. Have you done the things that you say are important, that are in line with who you are and who you're becoming? And it's not about perfection, but it's like on average. Can I make those decisions? And I would say for the most, most of the time, yes, because those are my values, not what I say I want to do.

Speaker 1: 55:39

And you're following through on what you're saying right. Your thoughts, your actions are actually aligning and I love that you brought up all of those examples when you were talking about the fitness one. For someone that has a fitness goal, it's not just thinking it, you do have to follow through right, like you put in the work, and some of it is the uncomfortable parts, because if you had already done them you would be where you want to be. You have a vision in mind of the identity and you're leading from that version of you, but you're still showing up. You're not just like waiting to be teleported, because that's how we have that reinforced behavior, because we have that awareness.

Speaker 1: 56:18

Consciously, we've done other work. Subconsciously, we're practicing all of these things on repeat until it really becomes a habit. It leads to behavior change. It leads to us making different choices, changing our social circle, changing our environment, changing actual physical things, and then we have that lasting behavior change and so I just yeah, I see it all as like a piece right. So for everyone listening, we're not saying like one, use one and not the other, like do your therapy, have your coach add the NLP, that coexists, but you're giving yourself the best opportunity to become that version of you that you're trying to be. Are you actually supporting future you, or are you setting her up to fail?

Speaker 2: 57:04

Great, it's a great question. That's a great question. That's exactly it Like if you want to set yourself up for success. It is an all encompassing approach, just like a. Like a crash diet might drop weight but it's not, you know, it's not going to be lasting results. So it's like, in that process, who are you becoming and when you, if you are an athlete that has gone through like a lot of major changes maybe there's been some weight loss, your fitness has changed. You're like competing, you know like your identity changes and who you spend time with changes.

Speaker 2: 57:35

Like I said, my husband competes at a, at a national level. That means that there's a lot of things that maybe we don't do that other people do. Like we spend more time meal prepping. We don't eat out a ton. You know sleep is a priority. Like there, you make decisions that are in alignment with that person and that version of you and I often say like you can kill it one day, you really can, and then tomorrow you start over from zero. We don't carry over Like you carry over a fitness level, but it requires that consistent effort every single day and if you're having those kinds of thoughts you know negative thoughts every day then it requires a lot of consistent work and effort.

Speaker 2: 58:15

And if you're somebody who surrounds yourself with a lot of negative people, that's even harder. Like it just it's. It's it's compound right, and I want people to set themselves up for success. I never want to paint a picture that it's easy. It is a lot of work and I was doing a podcast interview yesterday.

Speaker 2: 58:32

We were talking about how unsexy some of this work is. It's really monotonous, boring and unsexy. Sorry, it just is. But when you do that work, you set yourself up for success. Because we were joking in the sense that when you do the unsexy work on a regular basis, your bounce back is way faster.

Speaker 2: 58:52

You can have things that go wrong, you can have things that knock you down. Your bounce back is faster because you've kind of raised that baseline of who you are and how you believe in yourself and you meet. You make things mean less about you. Like if a client says no to something now, maybe five years ago, my response was like, oh my God, I'm so bad. Like how can I? Like what did I do wrong? Like, how do I need to do Like it was all about me, because you're riding the emotions all over the place. But if you do this work on a consistent basis, you learn how to detach from different outcomes. Don't make it it's not all about you, because it's not, and you start to see things differently. So you really do start to lead yourself differently.

Speaker 1: 59:32

I love the raise, raise the baseline, yeah, to echo you, I also say that on sexy stuff. This is where I find a lot of people have a hard time in maintenance.

Speaker 1: 59:43

It's an interesting conversation with some of my clients, where we're not working towards, let's say, competition or there isn't a caloric deficit, just because it's uncomfortable, because there is nothing happening. You're just kind of holding on, and that's where I find really interesting. But no maintenance seems to be a thing which which speaks to, I guess, our mainstream perspective of all these crash diets, because instead of just being able to hold on on one approach, we just like ride a roller coaster up and down.

Speaker 2: 1:00:12

Yeah, I love what you said and and I just want to share one little like, one little quick thing, in a sense that, like your limiting beliefs you know we've talked a lot about limiting beliefs and your subconscious beliefs. I want you to think of it is that, like they, they aren't the floor, they become the ceiling of what's possible for you. So you can set the goal like way, way, way up here and there's nothing wrong with goals, I love people who stretch and put themselves up here. But if you were that, if you set a goal for yourself, the next question I ask, I would ask you to ask yourself is like, do you believe that's possible? How do you feel about that? It happens tomorrow? How does it feel? Majority of people are like oh, not yet. Not yet, I'm not ready. I'm not ready yet. Like I actually really believe.

Speaker 1: 1:00:57

Most women are afraid, afraid of success more than failure.

Speaker 2: 1:00:59

I think it's success, I do not think it's failure. I think it is so. What happens is if you set the goal way up here but your belief in yourself is down here, then when you don't get it, what happens is the belief actually drops, so your actual ceiling drops lower and lower and lower. Now the gap between where you are and what you think your goal is becomes bigger, and so now it's like feels unattainable, when actually it's not about the goal and pushing to get the goal harder. It's really figuring out okay, this is the goal, this is what I want to do now over here. That's the. This is my ceiling, is my limiting belief. This is what I work on. Like I shared a, an episode, a solo episode, today. It's really detailed, but it's on my own show about identity and if I can be very honest and real like I.

Speaker 2: 1:01:45

I mean I worked as a kinesiologist for 27 years. You heard that I don't think I ever made more than $50,000, like ever. And I'm telling you probably there were years. I don't know if I took any time off at all, and so you know you can say next year is my six figure year, but nope, it's 50 again. It's like 40 again. And so when I came into the online space, everybody was like, say, it's your $100,000 year. And I remember thinking like, okay, if I just keep saying it, it's going to happen. And I worked so freaking hard 2020, 2021, 2022.

Speaker 2: 1:02:19

I just broke 100,000 for the first time and you know what happened in 2023, in full transparency, totally crashed. It burned right down. And it burned down because I was not the version of the person who actually could manage a business here. It had nothing to do with the numbers, nothing at all. I thought it all had to do with the numbers, didn't? I didn't know how to become the version of me that could hold that, that could manage people, have difficult conversations, do CEO stuff. That was just like messy, it's hard. So, if that, I just want to share that an example. Because it all had to burn and crash until I went crap.

Speaker 2: 1:03:00

I didn't do any of the identity work. I thought it was just. If I crossed that line, I'll figure it out. And that's not how it works. You actually think the money is the goal. You have to become the person who can hold it, because we don't want to do this in business like the zigzag up and down rollercoaster all over the place. We want to build in a way that we can sustain it and hold it. So that, to me, is one of the best examples of like what happens when you train. You work with your subconscious mind, you understand where your own like limiting beliefs are and then work on them consistently to become the version of you who can hold it.

Speaker 1: 1:03:38

Thank you for sharing that.

Speaker 1: 1:03:40

It is very powerful, as everything's been, and extremely relatable, like right there with you, my story, but I am cognizant that I've had you in your busy life for an hour, so I just want to wrap this up.

Speaker 1: 1:03:53

As much as I have 5 000 questions, I'm like follow-up questions, I'm like I need more. Um, it's such a powerful identity description and and also that opens another can of worms which perhaps we could explore this in the future, is the, the sport and fitness industry, especially in Canada, cause that is not the first time I've heard that as much as, yes, it's you and your identity and what you're choosing to do with your business. I think it also just speaks to whether it's being a personal trainer and nutritionist, a physiologist, a physiologist like, especially in Canada, the way that we like our structure with wellness and fitness, and I think that's a reoccurring story and I'm really curious about that, especially since you spent almost three decades in that industry, because I really do relate and that's, I think, why we're all and integrating different modalities, because, as is as it is, it doesn't, it's like you're limited and you can't really expand, not only for yourself but for all the people that we want to help in the first place. That's why we all kind of got into this.

Speaker 2: 1:05:02

Yeah, and I just honestly, that's why you get into it. Like, the people who get into this field, they want to help people and so they give and give and give, and give and give and give, like like over give, and then unfortunately, it's like it's like okay, so the only way I can make more is if I work more. I'm like I don't know how to work more, Cause I'm already working, like you know, 40 clients a week. I can't do so. It's, it is. It's it's a powerful conversation. I know there's a lot of ways that you can make more and like be able to do things differently now than what you could then, but I also know, I'm very cognizant that it's a it's a problem for this field personally.

Speaker 1: 1:05:36

Yeah, well, that's a conversation to put a pin in and come back to. So we've talked about a lot of wonderful things and if we can leave our listeners with one key lesson from this conversation, it sounds general, but I'm just going to say that your story today is not your forever story.

Speaker 2: 1:05:55

It's not. It feels like it. It feels like it's not possible. It feels like you know you're too late, it's you can't change it. It's not your forever story.

Speaker 2: 1:06:05

I have spent I have like 800 episodes on my show. I've had conversations with people who have unbelievable stories, who thought they could never change their story, and not only did they, did they change it, but they're actually doing work in the world because of their story and what they have walked through. And so I really do think a lot of this work that I get to do comes down to stories, and the biggest project you're ever going to work on is yourself. It's just the biggest thing you're ever going to do is work on yourself. And so if your life is not exactly where you want it to be right now and I don't think most people's would be, and that's okay, Like that's, we're human when can you start and what can you do? That pours back into you, that you can then change how you lead yourself out into the world.

Speaker 2: 1:06:50

But you're not too late. Your story is not too big, too small. It's all possible, it's all doable when you surround yourself with the right people and you've got into the environments with people who can help you see things that you can't see yet, Because I would not be where I am today if people hadn't poured into me a decade ago when I didn't think that it was possible. So I always like to give back in so many different ways, and the reason I mean that's not my quote, but it's my last quote it's like the thing that you think disqualifies you is what qualifies you. You are more qualified than you think you are to do the work. That you think disqualifies you is what qualifies you Like you are more qualified than you think you are to do the work that you're here to do. It comes down to how can you start to pour into and believe in yourself, because your story today is not your forever story. It can change anytime.

Speaker 1: 1:07:35

Shivers, I just get filled up every time you say something and I'm really, really grateful that you joined me for the past hour and more. I appreciate you, marcia, thank you, and even this past year, as I've been in Southeast Asia whether you're in my ear with your own podcast or I've hopped on an Alliance call it's always been very cup overflowing, which is fantastic, so thank you so much for your time. I appreciate you.

Speaker 2: 1:08:01

You're welcome. Thank you for having time. I appreciate you. You're welcome. Thank you for having me.

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Parastoo Badie

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