You've got a great job, a nice house, an amazing family, the best friends, and you're not unhappy....
But there's this itch, this tickle inside you that you can't ignore. Secretly, you've always wanted to start your own business, To live someplace warmer, To go back to school, try a new hobby, or get your degree.
But you tell yourself you're too old, It'll be too expensive, Too hard, or It's just silly.
Enough with the buts!
Episode 72 is about reinventing yourself when you're in your 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's,.... whenever!
Let's talk about the societal expectations, identity crises, and fears that go with making big changes and how you can do BIG and incredible things and become more of yourself no matter what your age is.
To find out why you want to make these changes, what will help you get started, and to find out how I can help you through coaching, CLICK HERE.
Help others find this resource so they can calm, confident, and have more fun by leaving a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review wherever you listen.
You've got a great job, a nice house, an amazing family, the best friends, and you're not unhappy....
But there's this itch, this tickle inside you that you can't ignore. Secretly, you've always wanted to start your own business, To live someplace warmer, To go back to school, try a new hobby, or get your degree.
But you tell yourself you're too old, It'll be too expensive, Too hard, or It's just silly.
Enough with the buts!
Episode 72 is about reinventing yourself when you're in your 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's,.... whenever!
Let's talk about the societal expectations, identity crises, and fears that go with making big changes and how you can do BIG and incredible things and become more of yourself no matter what your age is.
To find out why you want to make these changes, what will help you get started, and to find out how I can help you through coaching, CLICK HERE.
Help others find this resource so they can calm, confident, and have more fun by leaving a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review wherever you listen.
Welcome to the More Than Anxiety podcast. I'm Megan Devito and I'm the Life Coach for stressed out and anxious women who want more out of life. I'm here to help you create a life you love to live, where anxiety isn't holding you back. Get ready for a lighthearted approach to managing anxiety through actionable steps, a lot of truth, talk and inspiration to take action so you walk away feeling confident, calm and ready to live. Let's get to it. Hey there, welcome to episode 72. My name is Megan and I am so glad that you're here to listen to this episode. If this is your first time to check out my podcast, welcome.
Megan Devito:
It's always fun to have new listeners here, so drop me a message, drop me a comment, tell me where you are, tell me how you found me, all the things. I would love to know. And if you're back again, I'm super excited to have you back. It's always a lot of fun for me to make these episodes for you guys and to be able to answer your questions and really give you guys what you want and what you need. And this podcast episode is another request. This request came from somebody on Facebook, but if you have something that you would like to hear about, if you're sitting there thinking, when is she going to do an episode on whatever topics in your head, you've got to tell me what you want so that I can give you what you need. You can do that on Facebook, of course, Instagram or LinkedIn, or you can just go to the podcast and leave me a comment and say hey, I was listening and I'd really love to hear more about - whatever it is. You guys, I love it when you tell me what you want so that I can keep this podcast fresh, and relevant, and fun, and you get what you came for. So, since this is a request, let's just go ahead and get started. I already can't talk to you guys.
Megan Devito:
So what I want to talk about today is a midlife reset, or the idea that if you are 40 or 50 or maybe 60 or 70 or whatever age, you really can do new things, do big things and do things that might make people think you're crazy. So if you want to make changes but it feels like it's too late, too scary or impossible, you are in exactly the right place. And the problem with this idea of changing things; there's so many different things that play into this and, of course, we're talking. I mean, I'm a coach, so I'm going to tell you that a lot of this goes back to your thoughts, and that's true. There's other things that go into it as well, but we can cover those in just a little bit. But the thought of I'm going to fail, or thinking about what other people will think about you, or maybe that it's too scary, it's too stressful, I'll be too lonely, it's too hard, all of those different thoughts are going to play into why you might be afraid to go after those big things that have been on your mind or in your heart. Or just that really annoying tickle or itch that's been inside of you for so long that you keep trying to ignore but it's still there. That wild idea that you should quit everything and open a bagel shop, or that you should put your house up for sale and move across the country. Those kind of things, the things that get you really excited, that sound really great, but you also aren't telling anybody else because they're going to think that you've lost your mind, especially if you're older than, say, 20 or 30 and people are like hold your horses here, you need to be responsible. I always love that. What if you need to be responsible to yourself. Those are really like fun questions that I love to ask when I'm coaching people.
Megan Devito:
But there's lots of different reasons that you might want to start over. So one of those you know it might be that you're suddenly single. Maybe you got divorced recently, or maybe you broke up with your partner. Maybe your partner passed away. I hope it's nothing that's tragic. I hope it's nothing that's breaking your heart. I hope this is something you want to do because it feels fun or really great, but it might be something necessary to help you heal. Maybe you want to explore a new career. Maybe you've been in corporate for a really long time and you're just tired of the rat race and you're ready to do something that feels really fun and exciting, like the bagel shop. Or maybe you've owned a bagel shop and you're ready to level it up and you're ready to invest in your business and do something else that's really big. Both of those things, which could be very opposite, could really feel important for you and feel something that could make this part of your life exciting and help you grow yourself and your impact on the world. That's fun stuff.
Megan Devito:
Maybe you've had this secret desire to learn to salsa dance since you were about 15. And now you're 65 and you're wondering if salsa dancing is still an option. Heck, yes it is. It's time to find a class. Maybe you just need a change of scenery. Maybe you are recording a podcast with an electric blanket over your legs because it's too cold for you.
Megan Devito:
I know this feeling right now. I live in Indiana and it's January. And maybe you're thinking you know what this weather makes my whole body hurt I just want to move to Arizona. A lot of people do that. Maybe you want to be a snowbird. Or maybe you grew up in Arizona or Florida and you've decided that you would like to live in the snow for the winter. I imagine there's probably people out there that do want to do that. You know what? The grass is always greener, right. And maybe your idea is here I raised my kids and here I am, but my kids have all moved away. They've moved. Maybe you're even lucky enough to have your kids live in a sort of a similar geographic area.
Megan Devito:
You know like you're in a city where you can move to I don't know somewhere and you're still stuck hundreds of miles away and you're like no, I just want to move. I want to be with my family. Amazing. You have an opportunity right in front of you, even though it feels big. So there's lots of reasons that you might want to start over.
Megan Devito:
But the problem is that it's really easy to stay where you are because it feels secure, it's familiar, you have a job. It's a good job, you're really successful. You have friends and they're amazing. And you might have friends, you might have family here. You might still have cousins and aunts and uncles and kids and parents here, and the location's really not that bad. I mean, it doesn't really matter that my hands and my legs hurt or that I would be happier if the sun was shining more. Oh, hold on, that could keep you right where you are. But that tickle or that annoying feeling or that itch inside of you isn't going to quiet down if there's something telling you you need to go bigger. So you might ask other people for advice, but let's remember what happens here.
Megan Devito:
When you ask your friends, they might tell you that you're already amazing. You are so good. You're beautiful. You're so successful, why would you even think about that? You should be grateful for what you already have. That's a big one, because when you ask other people, if you ask people who love you and care about you, they're going to continue to love and care about you. They don't want you to change because that's threatening to your friendship and to them. So all of these different thoughts, your thoughts, your friends thoughts, your family's thoughts, are all going to keep you right where you already are. But what if that's not right where you want to be? But when they say those things, you start to think, oh, this might be too risky. You know what? I think I'm too old. I'm going to put the brakes on that right now. Are you ready? You're not too old.
Megan Devito:
I want to tell you about some women who yes, I had to Google, who didn't find success until they were over 40. Yes, I know I'm 48. So maybe I'm right in the mix of this, but if you are 40 or anything greater than that, I just want you to listen to this. You might know. If you're over 40, you've probably heard of Julia Child. If you're listening to this as a high schooler or a 20 or a 30 year old, you might say who the heck is that? There's a movie about her you can watch, or you could probably have your grandma's cookbook. Okay, Julia Childs didn't even learn how to cook until she was 36. And she didn't make a cookbook until she was 50. 50, not even one cookbook. And imagine not being able to cook until you're 36. I know there's a lot of people who don't know how to cook. I just learned how to cook way before that. So to me I'm like what? What did she eat? But she learned to cook when she was 36. She made a cookbook when she was 50.
Megan Devito:
Let's talk about Vera Wang, the amazing designer, who was 40 when she started designing something and she designed her own wedding gown. Not all those beautiful gowns that you can see in a bridal boutique, not all of the really beautiful clothes that you can see in different department stores or stores. Her dress, just hers. She was 40 when that happened. And then let's just talk about Nina Zagat, the restaurant critic, who was a corporate lawyer who just liked to cook and didn't start critiquing restaurants until she was 48. 48, she left her position as a corporate lawyer to write up reviews of people's restaurants. Imagine just going around and eating great food and then writing a review and having that get you off the hook from being in a job that maybe you don't love. That's a pretty sweet deal. And what about the incredible Viola Davis, who was acting her entire life and didn't take off until she was 43 and she didn't become a name that we know now until her fifties? That's incredible. And Toni Morrison, who worked as an editor for years but didn't become the Toni Morrison until she was 46. Or Lucille Ball, who did not become the Lucy that we love until she was 40, or JK Rowling? Or Kerry Washington? This is a really impressive list of women, and it's not a short list. That's just a start. Those are the Google-able people. These are not the people who are doing amazing things, who aren't necessarily like superstars or celebrities. These are just people that we know their names.
Megan Devito:
So how do you do it? Because your brain's telling you I'm too old. This is really scary. It's too hard. The first thing you have to do is you have to understand what you want and why you want it. Is this just a spontaneous decision because I have cabin fever? Is this something where I'm like, oh my God, I'm losing my mind right now. I have to make a change. Or is this something that you can feel deep inside of you? You want to take that into consideration? Am I just making a spontaneous decision because something I'm just aggravated with another part of my life, or is this something that I've always felt, this pull to do this thing?
Megan Devito:
Ask yourself that question, because there are always going to be risks and benefits of moving or changing your career. Or I guess salsa dancing you could sprain your ankle or you could I don't know have a wardrobe malfunction, something like that. You might meet someone who you fall in love with and that could get crazy. There's so many things that could happen. But you want to weigh the risks and the benefits of whatever it is that you want to do, and this is really where coaching comes in and where I can help you. So, first of all, I can help you understand
Megan Devito:
why do you want to do this? Have you ever asked yourself why? Why is it important to me to move to Arizona? Why is it important to me to start a new career, or to start a business, or to retire early, or to learn how to do pottery, or to start a school? Whatever it is that you want to do? There's no right or wrong answers here. That's so fun. There's not a right or wrong answer, and the list is as long as you want to make it, but you want to get clear on why you want to do it. And I can help you understand why.
Megan Devito:
Sometimes we think we want to do something but we say we're not sure why. And I've seen this happen before, where I'm talking to somebody and they'll tell me a goal that they've decided that they want to do. They say cooking, and I'll say, okay, why do you want to do that? And they say I don't know. One of the things I learned when working with my coach a year or so ago was that anytime we say I don't know, it's really to keep us from having to think about the real answer why? Why Does it sound selfish? Do I feel embarrassed about admitting why I want it? Maybe I know it could be amazing and I want people to see how good I am at it and I think, oof, that's kind of arrogant. That's not true. But again, just notice where your brain goes.
Megan Devito:
What I can help you do is get clear on why, of course, and why would it benefit you? Why would it benefit other people for you to do this? What else could you gain from making this change or taking this risk or doing this really fun, brave, bold thing. What would you learn from this? Why would it be amazing? Why would it be bad? What do you think other people will think about this and what do you think about the you that would be doing this? Those are all really important questions to explore. This is really what coaching is is help people get to the bottom of their thoughts so that they feel solid when they decide to make those changes. So asking all of those really important questions helps you get comfortable with the idea of change and helps you go after what it is that you want.
Megan Devito:
And then the next thing you have to do, once you know why you want it, is just come up with one step. We just want one beginning step to get you toward this big midlife reset, or just this one change that is wandering around in your brain. So maybe let's look and see what classes are available. If you want to take a class, let's just see what's out there. Let's see what would happen if you I don't know, let's play, pretend for a minute and say, okay, I'm just going to look at houses or I'm just going to see what jobs are available in this other place and what that would be like. I'm just going to look at what might happen if I decide to get on LinkedIn or maybe I'll just I'll just help out with this one catering event and see if I really like that idea or what's going on.
Megan Devito:
Whatever it is, let's just have one simple step, something that's not committing your entire future to it, so you can test the waters first and we can say did that step feel good or did that feel like it wasn't quite right? What do you want to try? Do you want to take the next step there? What do we need to adapt? Again, this is a coaching thing. It's what I help people with. So we're going to look at what happens next from the viewpoint of there is no right or wrong. It's fantastic if we fail, because failing means that you learned to try something new and maybe it worked and maybe it didn't. Then you get to try something else new.
Megan Devito:
So if you're at a point where things feel a little bit too comfortable, to the point even where you're uncomfortable and you know that you want to change, it's not too late. Just take some planning and a little bit of bravery and I can absolutely help you start making those changes so that you can do whatever it is that comes up in the second half of your life. That can really be the best half. You just have to understand what your brain's doing to try to keep you where you are and to be brave enough to go for it. So if you're ready to talk about that and you're ready to see what else you can do, let's have a consultation call.
Megan Devito:
These consultation calls are totally free. It's a way for you to get clear on what you want, on why you don't have it right now and what might be keeping you stuck where you are, so that you can come up with a next step or a first step. Even I'll tell you what you need to do instead and how you can get started. Sometimes that's coaching and sometimes it's not. That's totally up to you. But let's do the consult call and if you're ready to talk more about that, you can go to the show notes and you can click the little link. It's there and I think it just says if you wanna do this thing, click here. So it'll say click here.
Megan Devito:
You sign up for the call, you call me on the phone and we talk for an hour. It's super duper simple. And then, if you decide to move further and to say yes to coaching. Then we create goals and we start coming up with steps and we get you where you wanna go. It's all up to you.
Megan Devito:
But first let's just get curious and talk and see what's going on in your brain. I hope this was helpful for you to understand why you might be feeling stuck and to know how you can start moving forward by just looking at what you're thinking and what you really want. So if I don't talk to you before on a consultation call, I will be back again next week, take care. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the More Than Anxiety podcast. Before you go, be sure to subscribe and leave a review so others can easily find this resource as well. And, of course, if you're ready to feel more confident, have more energy, more confidence and a lot more fun, you can go to the show notes, click the link and talk to me about coaching. Talk to you soon.