Your social media feed is keeping you anxious. Not because you follow horrible accounts or doom and gloom, but because the algorithm is working. In Episode 73, I'm talking about how scrolling social media to relax or to learn more about how you can feel less anxious, have the perfect living room decor, beat burnout and overwhelm, or what it looks like in Fiji, the more you'll see of this same content. And, when your attention is on researching anxiety, the more anxious you become because it's always in your face.
This episode shares steps to help you clean up your social media feed to lower your anxiety and give you the break you're really looking to find.
Help others find this resource so they can calm, confident, and have more fun by leaving a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review wherever you listen.
Your social media feed is keeping you anxious. Not because you follow horrible accounts or doom and gloom, but because the algorithm is working. In Episode 73, I'm talking about how scrolling social media to relax or to learn more about how you can feel less anxious, have the perfect living room decor, beat burnout and overwhelm, or what it looks like in Fiji, the more you'll see of this same content. And, when your attention is on researching anxiety, the more anxious you become because it's always in your face.
This episode shares steps to help you clean up your social media feed to lower your anxiety and give you the break you're really looking to find.
Help others find this resource so they can calm, confident, and have more fun by leaving a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review wherever you listen.
Welcome to the More Than Anxiety podcast. I'm Megan Devito and I'm the Life Coach for stressed- out and anxious women who want more out of life. I'm here to help you create a life you love to live, where anxiety isn't holding you back. Get ready for a lighthearted approach to managing anxiety through actionable steps, a lot of truth, talk and inspiration to take action so you walk away feeling confident, calm and ready to live. Let's get to it. Hey there, welcome to episode 73 of the More Than Anxiety podcast.
Megan Devito:
My name is Megan and I'm back again this week to talk to you guys about all things anxiety and more than anxiety, which is why this podcast is called that. And this week I want to talk to you about social media and anxiety, because those two things really really go hand in hand. We know that anxiety is at an all time high and we also know that people spend a ton of time on their phone scrolling, mindlessly, scrolling, like whether you're doom scrolling or looking for something to inspire you, or you're looking for answers to why you feel so anxious, or wherever it is that you're spending all this time on social media. Maybe it's just to crack up at great TikTok videos, which I've been known to do. Also, the more time you spend on social media, there's a pretty close correlation to how anxious you're going to feel, and one of the things that I saw recently posted on Instagram, ironically enough, is I guarantee you that at least one of the accounts that you follow to help you actually makes it worse. So I saw this happening a lot with my own life last year. I had some really big, heavy things going on just in my personal life, so I was pretty anxious. More anxious than I've been in a long time, and I turned to some of my favorite Instagram accounts to really help me remember the things that I help other people do, which seems silly because I know what to do. But there was this part of me that's like surely there's something I'm missing, and one of the things that I noticed after a while was the more that I searched and the more advice that I got, the worse that I felt. So we're going to dive into that today. We're going to talk about the correlation between social media and anxiety. So follow me on this little journey. You ready?
Megan Devito:
Let's pretend, maybe you don't even have to pretend, that you had a really long day at work, and at work you're buried in projects and problems. Maybe your coworkers are using your very best ideas and claiming them for their own. Or maybe your boss believes that the more work you can do is better. He doesn't really care about the quality, he just wants more. Maybe you are angry or resentful or stressed out about how you're going to break out of this job and into whatever it is that you want to do.
Megan Devito:
So you grab your phone and you head to the restroom because for crying out loud, you need a break. And so you go into the bathroom and Instagram and Tik Tok to the rescue, because there's always something on there that at least makes you laugh a little bit, so you toilet scroll - and don't pretend like you don't, because I think we all do it. But you're toilet scrolling, you're just a few minutes longer than your normal restroom break just to clear your head, get some peace and quiet, check out videos and posts about burnout, and overwhelm, and anxiety, and adorable puppies, and the best new fancy drink, and the occasional vacation, and healthy lifestyle posts. They're all sprinkled in there.
Megan Devito:
And then, of course, you have to go back to your office. So it's back to work and back to stress, but with this sticky thought about this one post that you saved, that you really liked it. But there was something about that post that stuck with you that just makes you really uncomfortable. So after work you pull up that post again and you zip into the store to make that cute little drink that you saw and to get something that you could maybe throw together for dinner. And as soon as you open the app again, a new post about self-care for stress and anxiety shows up, followed by another post showing statistics on burnout and job loss and sickness. And before you've left the grocery you notice that you're on edge and you're feeling rushed and you can't stop thinking about your day at work. So you just start ruminating over and over, and wishing that you could scrap everything for the rest of the night and go home and just sit on the couch.
Megan Devito:
But things get a little bit better once you're home. You do your normal routine. You're picking up the house, making dinner, getting around for the next day, and you finally sit down to relax. And of course, you know you grab your phone, because that's what we do now. It's a habit. We just pick up that phone without thinking about it, but it's only for a second right. Just a quick scroll, I just want to see what's up. And then there it is again, those new accounts telling you what you need to eat or what's killing you, or how often you should be working out, or how to meditate, or posts about quiet quitting, setting boundaries with difficult coworkers, followed by how to stand up to your boss. And then you know, just kind of insert some nice video showing you soft music and the power of meditation and, before you know it, that relaxation time on the couch, where you were just going to sit there and veg out for a while, it's gone. Your relaxation time has done everything but made you relax, because your brain has time traveled back to work and all the things that you were stressing about there and about getting ready for tomorrow.
Megan Devito:
There are tons of fantastic accounts on Instagram, on TikTok, on Facebook all of that. I'm not saying that individual accounts are bad or that the content that those people are putting out is necessarily bad. Some of it might be true, some of it might be wishful thinking, some of it might be total garbage, but for the most part the accounts for people who are really trying to help people, it's good stuff. Here's the trick, though. I can guarantee you that even reading really great advice, whether it's facts on nutrition and exercise that help you de-stress after work, whether it's looking at beautiful vacation spots or checking out recipes, fashion or anything else that's keeping you anxious, it's because the algorithm is designed to show you what you look at the most. So when you are feeling exceptionally anxious and you turn to find advice on anxiety, suddenly your Instagram feed or your TikTok feed or anything else is going to be filled with information about anxiety, and sometimes the more focus. Okay, guys, let's be real. Not even sometimes, where your focus is is what you experience.
Megan Devito:
So if you're paying attention to everything about anxiety all day long what should I do? What should I do? What should I do and it's going to make you more anxious. That's just the way it works. So the more accounts that you follow about anxiety, or the more accounts that you look at about the perfect living room, or what should I eat or not eat, or what kind of exercise should I do, the more that you look at those things, the more the algorithms pick up on it and the more of it you see whether it's really good information or really crappy information.
Megan Devito:
And if you are constantly being bombarded by things that make you feel anxious. There will be more and more and more of them in your social media feed, making you feel more anxious. Whether it's comparing yourself to this other person who has the perfectly decorated house that's always clean, because it's a staged home and people don't live there and they certainly don't have dogs peeing on the floor or kids that accidentally spilled their cereal. It's pretend. Or maybe it's the perfect vacation that you see all of these people going on, even though they're paid to go to these vacations and do photo shoots, and you think, ugh, why can everybody else go on these vacations but me? Or you see a person who is a personal trainer or who has been working out for years who's like, and all I do is eat this and work out this many times, but they didn't tell you how many years it took them to get to the shape they're in. Or maybe it's the person that says I swear to you that I did this one thing and it cured my anxiety forever and this works for everyone. None of that's true. None of it. Not even the part about this one thing will help everyone. No, I am telling you this as a coach who's helped lots of people with anxiety. It's a little bit different for everyone.
Megan Devito:
Now, of course, there are best practices. You definitely should get some consistent sleep. You definitely should cut your social media time down a lot. You should, for sure, start taking walks. You should not eat so much sugar and alcohol. There are things that we know are good for everybody, but the thoughts that are keeping you anxious about, maybe, what your boss thinks about you, or what your coworkers think about you, or what your friends think about you, or what you think about you those are the things that are different for everybody and the things that we really have to dive into. So, because the algorithm is designed to show you what you look at the most, every time you pause a little bit longer, or if you click on something comment, like or follow accounts you see more of that same kind of information, because it just assumes that's what you like and it probably is what you like, but it's also keeping you anxious because it is keeping you tuned into what you don't want to see. You don't want to feel anxious so you look for ways to stop feeling anxious, which keeps your mind thinking about anxiety. You don't want to feel burnt out so you see more posts on how not to feel burnt out but it reminds you that you are. You don't want to spend all your time at home focusing on work, but Instagram and Facebook know you work hard and you've interacted with other women who are also burnt out, overwhelmed, and perfectionists, so you see more of it and feel worse about yourself. And, as I said, I saw this happen to me last year when I went through some pretty big stuff at home, and since I also follow these other coaches and accounts for inspiration or for connection, the more I checked in, the more anxious I got. The more my behaviors and focus went to what I was already anxious about. The more I saw - and I remember sitting in my bed and realizing that I didn't need all of that information I was taking in and my guess is that you don't either.
Megan Devito:
I was telling myself it was gonna help me with my content, or with my coaching clients, or with the things going on in my life, and it wasn't doing anything. It wasn't doing any of that, but making me feel more judgmental, or more stressed out, or less creative or capable, and I was having incredible success with my clients anyway, and I was just putting myself through this, willingly, kind of absentmindedly and not paying attention, but willingly just going back to mindlessly scroll because, oh, I wonder what everyone else is thinking. I wonder how this would go. I wonder if I looked at this one thing. I actually saw a post from an account. It's @simply_ anxious. There's an underscore between simply and anxious.
Megan Devito:
That said something about how Instagram is actually set to make you more anxious, and it's what brought me to this podcast. It's like, oh, she is totally right. People need to know this. So I wanna thank her first of all for that post, because it's what kicked me back off and said wait a minute, she is dead on. I feel pretty good whenever I'm not on my phone. Why am I doing this to myself? So huge thank you to @Simply_ Anxious. And I had to bring this to you guys too, because this is her idea.
Megan Devito:
And this is not because the creators of TikTok or Instagram or anybody else want anxious people to be more anxious, but because they want you addicted to their platform, and to do that, like I said, they show you what you crave and what you interact with, and what you respond to the most and the more and more and more, until you're buried in a feed of anxiety and comparison and judgment, all because you wanted to feel better, or decorate your house, or make that cute holiday drink or workout, and it just becomes a trap. I'm going to go further into this next week when I talk about our addiction to dopamine and how you could and absolutely should detox from dopamine. So be sure to come back then, because this is a really big deal, really big life changing stuff. But for now, let's just talk about how you can reset your social media feeds and break the algorithm a little so you can have a reset, and then next week I will go a little bit more into why you should just probably put your phone away for a minute. Does that sound Does it make you anxious to think about putting your phone away. It probably did Again. We'll get into that next week.
Megan Devito:
But what you can do now is start by going through the accounts that you follow and unfollow any account that doesn't bring you peace or joy or a good laugh. And you can do this without feeling guilty for unfollowing, because the internet is not real life. You can do this without actually losing anything, because that account is always there to go back to. But I really encourage you to stay away from those accounts that you notice you keep getting drawn to but you don't feel good after you read them. And it might be something about oh, this is the best way that you could do this or that, or this is exactly what you should be wearing this spring, or this is your ideal body shape, whatever it is for you. Four to six weeks, just see what happens. Play a little game with yourself; notice the difference in how your body feels and where your brain goes. If you just unfollow for that long Again, if you really, really miss that content and you've really missed that person. You can always go back and refollow.
Megan Devito:
The next thing you can do is you can reset your search history. You can look up how to do this specifically for different platforms with a quick Google search, but just go in and clear it out. Your search history is really the answer. Instagram keeps track of the profiles that you search for within the app and it ensures, like it's just make sure, to present you with similar accounts, and this is because it just believes that these profiles are super interesting and important to you.
Megan Devito:
Another thing you can do is block keywords that talk about the topics that stress you out or make you anxious the most. Back in 2020, during the elections, Lord, I blocked so much stuff, you guys. I didn't see anything about particular candidates or topics and it was amazing. So get picky about your keywords. If you are really stressed about the election, because here we are again, block election or a specific candidate. Just don't allow anything about it in your social media feed, where it will snowball on you every time you open the app, because if you pause, Instagram's got you. It's going to say, oop, ping that one. She paused to check that out. This is why you see so many advertisements for the same thing too. The second you pause to check out that really cute sweater, there's a million cute sweaters, probably from little sweatshops in China, and horrible things like that.
Megan Devito:
So another thing you can do is just find other ways to use your time. If you are mindlessly scrolling to try to feel better, this is going to backfire. This comes up with nearly every person I coach. They use social media to get inspired or to clear their minds and they end up feeling worse, thinking that they're not doing enough, they're failing. Everything in the world is bad. The planet is a dumpster fire. And I'm not saying that things are going really, really well. I'm just saying that not everything is horrible. It's not true.
Megan Devito:
So I help people, when I'm working with them, find evidence to see what's going well while they put their phones down, and find ways that they've probably already learned on social media to feel better, because sometimes we get too much too much in our heads. We just need to have a starting point and we need to pick one. And we work every session on what they think it is that's keeping them from feeling less anxious. We talk about what they want to see, or do, or feel or believe instead, and get them out of that cycle of scrolling when they feel anxious and making themselves feel more anxious. So you can talk to me about how I can help you by going to the show notes and scheduling a consultation call. And yes, I am on social media too. So if you're going to head back over there after hearing this, and it's okay, there's no shame in going there, just clean it up a little. Give me a follow, and if you're like, you know what, I don't know, that's okay. You're not going to hurt my feelings if you don't follow me. So you can actually message me and say I still want a consultation.
Megan Devito:
So take a minute and go back through these suggestions, clear out your history, and do some unfollowing. Do what you need to do, get it all cleaned up, message me, tell me you want a consultation call and if I don't talk to you this week on the phone, I will be back next week. Take care. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the More Than Anxiety podcast. Before you go, be sure to subscribe and leave a review so others can easily find this resource as well. And, of course, if you're ready to feel more relaxed, have more energy, more confidence and a lot more fun. You can go to the show notes click the link and talk to me about coaching. Talk to you soon.