9 Habits for a Happy & Healthy Relationship

In this episode of The FIT LIKE KRYS Podcast, Krys is joined once again by her partner, Levent, to dive into the habits that create and sustain a healthy relationship. They discuss what a healthy partnership looks like, how small gestures make a big impact, and why communication is key. Whether you’re newly dating or in a long-term relationship, these habits can help strengthen your bond and create a deeper connection with your bae.

Key Topics and Takeaways

What Defines a Healthy Relationship?

• The importance of feeling comfortable and safe with your partner.
• Why looking forward to time together is a sign of a strong relationship.
• Encouraging each other to be authentic and fully themselves.

Essential Habits for a Strong Relationship

1. Happy Mornings
   • Starting the day on a positive note with a warm good morning.
   • Small gestures like making coffee or simply offering encouragement.
2. Secret Handshake or Code
   • A personal signal that reminds you both you’re on the same team.
   • Helps maintain connection in social situations or during tension.
3. Little Gestures Matter More Than Big Ones
   • Small acts of kindness show appreciation and thoughtfulness.
   • Examples include picking up a favorite snack, sending a quick message, or taking care of daily tasks without being asked.
4. Gratitude and Affirmations
   • Practicing individual gratitude to shift perspective.
   • Verbal affirmations reinforce appreciation and affection.
   • Sharing small wins and recognizing each other’s efforts.
5. Effective Communication
   • Clearly expressing needs and expectations.
   • Learning when to listen versus when to offer advice.
   • Giving each other the benefit of the doubt instead of jumping to conclusions.
6. Scheduled No-Phone Time
   • Putting away phones for quality, distraction-free time together.
   • Strengthens connection and helps with deep conversations.
7. Intentional Date Nights
   • Planning specific outings, even if they are simple, like early-morning bagel runs in NYC.
   • Separating daily life from quality relationship time.
8. Working on Projects Together
   • Doing home projects, gardening, or setting shared goals strengthens teamwork.
   • Creates a sense of accomplishment and shared success.
9. Creating Traditions
   • Establishing rituals or yearly traditions that symbolize growth in the relationship.
   • Taking an annual photo, celebrating milestones, or setting a specific date-night tradition.

Final Thoughts

• Relationships require effort, patience, and willingness to grow together.
• Small moments matter more than grand gestures.
• Happiness is a choice, and prioritizing positivity in a relationship makes all the difference.

Stay Konnected

Website: fitlikekrys.com
Email: info@fitlikekrys.com
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This episode is full of actionable tips for anyone looking to strengthen their relationship. Thanks for listening, and see you next time.

Transcript

Krys [0:00 - 1:29]: Foreign. Welcome back to the Fit Like Krys podcast. Thank you so much for listening. We have such a good topic today. We are joined by all the dogs, but we're making it work. They're actually chilling right now, so I think we'll be good. And today we're talking about. I have my favorite person back on the episode because I could not do this episode without him because he has taught me a lot about this topic, which is healthy habits or habits for a healthy relationship. And before we even get into it, you're going to click on that, like, button, click on that subscribe button and share this episode with anyone who's in a relationship that's questionable. Maybe you're like, maybe you shouldn't be with her or him. Or maybe you see two people interact and you're like, there's such a better way, but you don't feel like it's your place to say, send them a podcast. It's a great way to get in the middle of someone's relationship. Relationship without inserting yourself in the middle of the relationship. So send this to anyone that might need a little bit of guidance or just, like, a little oomph in a relationship. It's not even just with new ones. It's with relationships that have been going on for 5, 10, 15, 20 years. Sometimes we need those reminders. It's similar to, like, working out. Like, we know to breathe, but when the instructor tells us to breathe, sometimes that's a reminder that we need. So thank you for joining us again. 

Levent [1:29 - 1:30]: Thank you for having me. 

Krys [1:30 - 1:32]: Okay. Are you getting more comfortable? 

Levent [1:32 - 1:32]: Sure. 

Krys [1:32 - 2:18]: Yeah. How does it feel speaking into a microphone? Have you ever done this? No, no. First time. I feel like we're going to get you real comfortable. You're going to be soon. You're just going to be taken over. But this is not going to be your last one, so get used to it. You have a lot of insight and wisdom and lots of stuff that people need to hear. So we're going to have him on here again. But today we're talking about healthy habits. No habits for a healthy relationship. Yes, I'm gonna. I have some stuff written down, but I feel like we're gonna just come up with stuff as we go. But let's. Let's start by defining what a healthy relationship is. So what is a healthy relationship to you? When I say that, what's, like, the first thing that comes to mind? 

Levent [2:18 - 2:50]: I think the number one thing is just, like, this overall feeling of comfort being around that person as opposed to being anxious I think it applies to anything, any relationship, but obviously it's at a heightened level because that's the person, that's the partner in your life. So I think an indication of being in a healthy relationship is that you look forward to seeing that person. You look forward to waking up with them. You look forward to coming home. You look forward to going to the store. You just like being with them. 

Krys [2:50 - 2:51]: Look forward to living life. 

Levent [2:51 - 2:55]: Yeah. If you don't, then that's an indication. 

Krys [2:55 - 2:55]: Yeah. 

Levent [2:55 - 2:56]: Yeah. 

Krys [2:56 - 3:26]: One of the. And I don't know if it's one of the things that I love about our relationship, and maybe this is the fact that you have three daughters, so you can deal with all my personalities, but I am allowed. I feel allowed or even encouraged to be myself fully. And I remember, even when early on dating, I remember you saying to me, like, you know, like, you don't have to be like, oh, yeah. 

Levent [3:26 - 3:32]: I mean, because, like, you're so hard on yourself. And I remember saying to him, like, it's okay for you to be in a bad mood. 

Krys [3:32 - 3:32]: Yeah. 

Levent [3:32 - 3:46]: You know, just let me know how you. And that's part of the process. Right. Like, I mean, I think I've said to you multiple times, like, do you want my input or you want me to just listen? Yeah. You know, do you need help or do you want me to fix it? 

Krys [3:47 - 3:47]: Yeah. 

Levent [3:47 - 3:53]: You know, so not always. Sometimes you just, you know, you just need to. 

Krys [3:54 - 3:54]: Yeah. 

Levent [3:54 - 3:58]: Put. To listen and. And figure it out. 

Krys [3:58 - 3:58]: Yeah. 

Levent [3:58 - 4:16]: And I've had, you know, I've told you where I'm like, you know what? I just had a bad day. I just wanna relax, unwind. I don't want to talk about it, you know, And I think that just comes with time. And. And I think the healthy part of that is you say that knowing you're not gonna get judged. 

Krys [4:16 - 4:17]: Yeah. 

Levent [4:17 - 4:24]: And you're not pushing on your insecurities onto that person and that they're not going to. Well, what do you mean you had a bad day? 

Krys [4:24 - 4:26]: Like, they don't take it personal. 

Levent [4:26 - 4:28]: Exactly. Exactly. You know? 

Krys [4:28 - 4:57]: Yeah, I. It's. This is the first relationship, and I kind of hate saying that because I feel like it's automatically saying bad about every other person I've ever been with. And it's not. It's just true. It's the first relationship where I. And that has a lot to do with personal growth as well, that I feel not only comfortable, but supported in any mood. You know, like, I don't feel like you're gonna get mad at me for being A certain way. Are you thinking of all my moods? Is this why? 

Levent [4:57 - 5:08]: No, no, no, no. I'm just. I'm verifying as you're saying it. It's just. It's, you know, it doesn't. Doesn't faze me. It's just that. That's just you. 

Krys [5:08 - 5:12]: Part of this funny story about. Not since you're saying not fake. 

Levent [5:13 - 5:15]: I literally get nervous every time you say, oh, I have a funny story. 

Krys [5:15 - 5:52]: I'm like, oh, it's more insight into me than, well, both of us. But he's so chill. But also, like, very caring and supportive. Oh, but I was what. I wonder what you think I'm going to say. But I was standing at the sink and it was in the middle. You know, it was like, not the end of the day, but it was like around three. I don't even know what was happening that day. Oh, and I think it was the dogs. They were just. They were just sort of up to here, you know, like, it was just a day. And I remember I screamed. I was at the sink, and I was like. And you were on your phone, and you just looked up and you were like, you good? 

Levent [5:52 - 5:52]: No. 

Krys [5:53 - 6:21]: And I was like. I was like, I just need a minute. And I just like, walked. Went into my office, like, took 10 deep breaths and. But that's something that I wouldn't have felt comfortable doing. Or if I did, I feel like I definitely. Someone would have been like, you need to relax or calm down or made me felt bad about that. But instead, you kind of just. You look. You just looked at me unfazed, and you were like, are you good? So, yeah, definitely. Definitely unfazed. 

Levent [6:21 - 6:22]: Yeah. 

Krys [6:22 - 6:23]: But caring. 

Levent [6:23 - 6:26]: Yeah. You don't want to ignore it. 

Krys [6:26 - 6:29]: Yeah. You're like, you could. 

Levent [6:29 - 6:34]: There is an element of. Did I cause that? Can I fix that? Should I ignore that? 

Krys [6:35 - 6:47]: But yeah, that's. For me, a healthy relationship is. Is ours. And one of the reasons I love it is because we can both be ourselves. 

Levent [6:47 - 6:48]: Yeah. 

Krys [6:48 - 7:30]: Yeah. So let's get into some. Some tips. Some healthy. Why do I keep saying healthy habits. Some habits for a healthy relationship. It's hard to. It's hard to say that way. This is my first one that I have written down. I have happy morning every morning. And maybe out of the. It's. We're going on a year, maybe one or two maybe. And I actually don't even remember, but every single morning we say good morning in a loving way. We're in a good mood. I'm putting in my best effort to help you get ready for the day. You're putting in effort to help me get ready for the day. And I think. 

Levent [7:30 - 7:32]: And it happens effortlessly. 

Krys [7:32 - 7:33]: Yeah. 

Levent [7:33 - 7:41]: Like, you do the things that you do to comfort me, and I do the things that I do just because we want to. 

Krys [7:41 - 7:41]: Yeah. 

Levent [7:41 - 7:59]: I think that's. That's an indicator of a healthy relationship, because I think we've all been in relationships where it's just like you're told, or there's a certain level of expectation for doing something and it's. It's done because. Not because you want to, but you have to. Yeah. 

Krys [7:59 - 8:03]: Feels like obligation. Yeah. I. I don't feel obligated. 

Levent [8:03 - 8:03]: Yeah. 

Krys [8:03 - 8:06]: And even if I did, like, I don't know, I just. I guess I don't know. 

Levent [8:06 - 8:11]: And when it doesn't happen, it's. It's not upsetting. 

Krys [8:11 - 8:12]: Yeah. 

Levent [8:12 - 8:21]: Because again, a component that we've. We've discussed often that I feel very passionate about is the ability to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. 

Krys [8:21 - 8:21]: Yes. 

Levent [8:21 - 8:53]: When something doesn't happen the way you want it to. Right. You, if you have the ability to be like, oh, she didn't make coffee this morning. You don't say, oh, she doesn't love me because she's gonna make coffee. It's because whatever, she's busy doing something else or whatever, I'll make the coffee or I'll make the bed today, or she'll make the bed. Like, it's. It's. When that element of benefit of the doubt changes to the bad voice coming over your shoulder, then I think many relationships deteriorate. 

Krys [8:53 - 8:57]: Yeah. Benefit of the doubt is important. You taught me that early on. 

Levent [8:57 - 8:57]: Yeah. 

Krys [8:57 - 9:46]: I can't remember what it was about, but something. It was like a pretty big contention point. And you said to me, you said, you know, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, you know, And I was just like, it's nice to have that someone to have that trust in you and in the relationship sort of from the. From the get go. Instead of approaching the relationship, like, with your fears and with your insecurities, there's an approach of trust and openness and not thinking that the person is doing something against you or to harm you or to hide from you or anything like that. So Happy Morning was my first tip. And there are so many ways to do that, but we just. We kind of. We kind of sing a good morning to each other, basically. 

Levent [9:46 - 9:49]: We. We do. Yeah. Yeah. It's part of the. Part of the ritual. 

Krys [9:49 - 10:01]: Yeah. It's in song, so feel free to make up your own good morning song. But we definitely have one. My other. And if. And if you want to interrupt me with a habit or you think of one, just insert it in. 

Levent [10:01 - 10:01]: Yeah. 

Krys [10:01 - 10:33]: My other one is. I'm calling it a secret handshake, but this is just another way to say, like, something that only you and your partner know, like, what it means, whether it's like a. Some signal in the home, outside of the home, or something that each of you can do, and it makes you feel connected, regardless of what's going around you. So we have. We have a couple, like, secret handshakes. I don't know if we do. We share them. It's a secret. 

Levent [10:33 - 10:36]: I mean, I think it's. It. I don't think they need to know what they are. 

Krys [10:36 - 10:37]: Okay. 

Levent [10:37 - 10:39]: I think it's important that they know we have them. And. 

Krys [10:39 - 10:40]: Yeah. 

Levent [10:40 - 10:47]: You know, and. And you could have a physical one. You could have a visual one. You know, I think it's just. It's. It's just a element of a connection. 

Krys [10:47 - 10:47]: Yeah. 

Levent [10:47 - 10:49]: That's. At the end of the day, that's what it is. 

Krys [10:49 - 11:23]: Yeah. And. And if something is going on, that's. Oh, if something is going on, that's, like, hard to navigate, or you're in, like, a. A family situation, or maybe there's, like, some tension between you two because of external factors. I feel like it's something that can bring you back together. Like, I feel like sometimes when couples are with family or friends or in, like, there's other elements that can affect, you know, the relationship, and that something that sort of just brings you together to remind you that you're on the same team. 

Levent [11:24 - 11:30]: Yes. Us versus them versus me versus you. 

Krys [11:30 - 11:34]: Yeah, that. That you said to me early on, too, like, us versus the world kind of thing. 

Levent [11:34 - 11:37]: Yeah. Well, that's the whole partnership thing. 

Krys [11:37 - 11:39]: Should we have a superhero name? 

Levent [11:39 - 11:40]: No. 

Krys [11:40 - 11:40]: Are you sure? 

Levent [11:41 - 11:41]: Yes. 

Krys [11:41 - 11:43]: Okay. Yeah, I kind of want one. 

Levent [11:43 - 11:47]: Okay. Come up with one for you and a costume. 

Krys [11:47 - 11:50]: Wait, what was our Couple Shred name? 

Levent [11:50 - 11:52]: Oh, lacrisse. 

Krys [11:52 - 12:10]: That's our. That's our celebrity name. Yeah, also that. Totally. A tip. Come up with a celebrity name. I have a program called Couple Shred, who. Which Levent helped me to create, and he participates, and then we're. Our fourth one is starting February 17th, by the way. 

Levent [12:10 - 12:15]: I saw that on Instagram. Oh. I guess. I guess that's when the next one is. 

Krys [12:15 - 12:21]: But it's a program that you have to do with your partner. It's bringing, like, fitness and wellness in the home and Doing it together. 

Levent [12:21 - 12:22]: It's only two weeks. 

Krys [12:22 - 12:53]: It's only two weeks. And we. One of the couples, they suggested a, like, their celebrity name and sort of everybody jumped on board and we all had our little celebrity names and logos. So we're Lecris Team Lacris. And I had like a little French bistro sign because I felt like it was very French, even though neither of us are French. I thought I was French for a while, but turns out I'm not. Okay, so this comes from. This next one is called Little Gestures. 

Levent [12:53 - 12:53]: Oh. 

Krys [12:54 - 12:59]: Which is something you came up with because we were watching something and I. 

Levent [12:59 - 13:01]: Said, what was the big gesture in that thing we were watching? 

Krys [13:01 - 13:13]: I think we're watching the holiday. It was a. It was a holiday movie. Can you not clean yourself on camera? It's just nsfw. 

Levent [13:13 - 13:17]: Go lay down. Go get on the bed. Come on the bed. Go. Go lay down. 

Krys [13:17 - 13:22]: You are watching. I think it was the holiday and. 

Levent [13:22 - 13:25]: It was something like someone made a big gesture. 

Krys [13:25 - 13:46]: Oh, he went to. It's when it was not the holiday. It's the one with Reese Witherspoon Bridger, Bridget Jones Diary. Not Bridget Jones Diary. When he went to her house, but she was like in a relationship. And you're like, that's kind of creepy. But he went there to tell her that he was always in love with her because at the wedding. 

Levent [13:46 - 13:51]: Oh, no, no, no. It was at the wedding. He took the British movie. 

Krys [13:51 - 13:53]: Yeah. He took the video of. Of Kira Knightley. 

Levent [13:53 - 13:53]: Yes. 

Krys [13:53 - 13:54]: Kiera Night. Where he's. 

Levent [13:54 - 13:56]: Where he's got the signs. 

Krys [13:56 - 13:56]: Yes. 

Levent [13:56 - 13:57]: Yeah. 

Krys [13:57 - 13:59]: And she's like, with his best friend. 

Levent [13:59 - 14:09]: Yeah. And you're like, see Levance. See? Big gesture. But I'm like, gesture, grand gesture. I'm like, well, first of all, it's creepy, you know? Second of all, sometimes you just need little gestures. 

Krys [14:09 - 14:12]: I was saying to you, like, I love grand gestures. 

Levent [14:12 - 14:12]: Yes. 

Krys [14:12 - 14:38]: Right. And so ever since that, you know, I think even the next day you brought me something. Maybe the same night you brought me maybe freshly squeezed oranges. Yeah, something like that. And you were like, little gestures. And every day there's sort of a little gesture and it's so small and it still takes effort, but it's so doable and small and I feel like, loved. 

Levent [14:39 - 14:56]: Yeah. I mean, listen, it's just. It's a message and you're. You do it too. To say that you're important. You're on my mind. I'm busy, but I'm thinking of you. You know, like, it just. It's a. It's a quick and direct way of just getting that message across. 

Krys [14:56 - 15:01]: You're really good at them. Can you give the people listening some ideas for little gestures? 

Levent [15:03 - 15:31]: Well, I think, I think anything that you do that's small without being asked, it could be picking up a pint of their favorite ice cream for no reason, or, you know, the cliche of bringing fresh flowers home. Or it could be picking up that person's sneakers all the time. You know, like just, you just do it. Just hypothetical, you know, like just. 

Krys [15:32 - 15:33]: Just hypothetical. 

Levent [15:33 - 15:51]: You know, you just, you just do it because again, you're not looking for the reward. You're not looking for the acknowledgment. You do it because they'll notice it and know that you were thinking of them. It's just, you know, just an act of kindness. 

Krys [15:51 - 15:58]: I leave my sneakers all over. I have a lot of sneakers. And he puts them back in place all the time. 

Levent [15:58 - 15:59]: They're everywhere. 

Krys [15:59 - 16:07]: They're everywhere. I have. I don't know why they're everywhere. I have places for them. I just have trouble keeping things in places. 

Levent [16:08 - 16:08]: Yes. 

Krys [16:12 - 16:58]: One of the things also he. That again, makes me just feel so comfortable is I'm a little bit of a organized mess. And he, you know, he's just like, you know, that's you. Because I've apologized for it so many times, whether it's me leaving a tornado in the bathroom and like, my get ready is so low maintenance. I don't even know how. I have so many things I have in my bathroom. And that's another podcast, but there's just like a tornado after I go into any room. And I've always felt bad about that and I always apologize for that. And really early on you said to me, you know, that's just who you are. And you're like, it's not. There's things that you can get upset about and that's not one of them. 

Levent [16:58 - 17:09]: Listen, there are things that are annoying. I mean, that's just like we've early on talked about, like, oh my God, we have so many pet peeves. And that doesn't mean you don't care about that person. 

Krys [17:09 - 17:10]: Yeah. 

Levent [17:10 - 17:32]: You know, like there's trauma and baggage from our childhood and all that kind of stuff. There's, you know, again, likes and dislikes. But again, to the earlier discussion, when you get older, you know what your non negotiables are. And you not taking the entire cover off of the peanut butter is not a deal breaker. It's annoying, but it's not a deal breaker. 

Krys [17:32 - 18:28]: Does Anybody else? So this is my thing, right? When I open peanut butter, Greek, yogurt, anything. First of all, the two cover thing is annoying to me. And just seal it. Just seal it with one cover. Why do we need four covers? But fine, if you're gonna do a double, put the. This is a Mitch Hedberg skit, actually. He's like, the bread is wrapped in plastic, and then it's in another plastic bag. Like, what is. Why is there so many barriers to get to a piece of bread? Like, why do we need a cover underneath the seal? Tight cover of the peanut butter. But anyway, I just take off a little part of it. Like, I don't peel off the whole thing. Like collagen powder. Like, anything that has that, I just, like, open enough so that I can put a spoon in there. And every time he opens it, he's just like, what did you do? Because it's also, like, aggressive. I like, you know, it looks a little violent. 

Levent [18:28 - 18:40]: If you ever want to see a butter stick that's been beaten up, just check our fridge. Like, you can't, like, just cut a little piece off. It looks like someone beat it up, but again, it's fine. 

Krys [18:40 - 18:46]: So you know what I do? Because I take the butter stick and then I just put it in the pan. 

Levent [18:47 - 18:49]: Okay, that explains it. 

Krys [18:49 - 18:52]: I just do it like that. I don't even use a knife. 

Levent [18:52 - 18:53]: Okay. 

Krys [18:53 - 18:56]: I just put it right. It melts off. 

Levent [18:56 - 18:56]: Yes. 

Krys [18:56 - 18:58]: You know why? Why dirty a knife? 

Levent [18:59 - 19:01]: What's the next one on your list? 

Krys [19:01 - 19:02]: Gratitude. 

Levent [19:02 - 19:02]: Yeah. 

Krys [19:02 - 19:51]: This is something that you remind me of all the time. And I. I practice this daily. Try to do it more than once a day, really. But this is an individual practice that benefits the health of the relationship. When you can see the things that are good, you know, things become better. When you see the things that are not good, things become worse. So just when you're having a really bad day, when you're not connecting with your person, when you have an argument with your person, when you guys are on two different pages pausing and having, like, just being grateful for X, Y, Z, it sort of recenters you. And it's like a reset button, I feel like. Yeah. 

Levent [19:51 - 20:32]: I mean, and I think also, like, feeding into insecurities and fears. I think what, what happens is if the person you're with is not grateful for the little things, it could imply that they're really not happy with you. Right. Because. Because if you're really a happy person, you're content, you're fulfilled. Who cares if you ran out of peanut butter? But if that person is obsessed with running out of peanut butter and. And that just ruined their day, you know, it's a half cup, half full, half empty analogy. Like, that whole discussion is just like. And I think it comes with age and time as you experience things. 

Krys [20:32 - 20:48]: I want to pause because that's a really big thing you just said. And I just had, like, a flashlight moment. Like, if someone gets really upset about something so small, that could definitely be an indication that they're just not happy in the relationship. 

Levent [20:48 - 20:51]: It could be. Yeah. Yeah. Or it could not be. 

Krys [20:51 - 20:51]: Yeah. 

Levent [20:51 - 20:53]: But you being the other person, you don't know. 

Krys [20:53 - 20:54]: Right. 

Levent [20:54 - 21:02]: And, you know, I think. I think we all, at the minimum, want to feel like we make a difference in people's lives. 

Krys [21:02 - 21:03]: Yeah. 

Levent [21:03 - 21:12]: In the. That we share. And, yeah, bad things are going to happen, but in the big picture, we're grateful. 

Krys [21:12 - 21:13]: Yeah. 

Levent [21:14 - 21:29]: And again, just, you know, with time and age, as you experience illness, death, you know, changes of jobs and family matters and all that kind of stuff, like, it could always be worse. 

Krys [21:29 - 21:31]: It could always be worse. That's true. 

Levent [21:32 - 22:04]: And if you don't. And, you know. You know, my other thing is. Is that. Which. Which kind of like, tags along with it. It's like, I. I don't like it when people say, oh, life is so short. Life is so short. It's like, no, life is not short. Life is long. Like, you can address a lot of things. You can improve. You could be. But it's gonna seem really short if you're not grateful. But if you are grateful, then you get to enjoy, reinvent, and experience a lot of things. So, yeah, gratitude is a big one. 

Krys [22:05 - 22:13]: And then going off of gratitude. My other one is affirmations. So this. 

Levent [22:13 - 22:22]: How did that start? Did we watch something? Oh, no, no, no, no. My daughter Bella. My daughter Bella would give daily affirmations to the dog. 

Krys [22:23 - 23:08]: And one day, he was always giving. He was always giving affirmations to the dogs. He'd be like, you're such a good dog. You're so pretty. And, like, one day he's, like, doing it to Simone. I was like, can I have some affirmations? So now when I'm having a really bad day or just, like, a tough time, he gives me affirmations. And I do it to you, too. We all need to hear. And that's sort of like the gratitude, direct gratitude. So the individual gratitude of just you noticing what you're grateful for in your life is important. But then the second piece of it, which the expression of gratitude through affirming Someone like you work so hard. You're so handsome. You're such a good cook. 

Levent [23:08 - 23:09]: You're funny. 

Krys [23:09 - 23:21]: Yes. Yeah. And it just. There's never a time where that doesn't feel good. Like, that's always. That's always a. Are you going to come up here, too? 

Levent [23:22 - 23:23]: That's what. That's why he's upset. Come on. 

Krys [23:23 - 23:26]: Okay, come on. We're going to. All right, let's get it going. 

Levent [23:26 - 23:39]: Come on. Everybody on the. Come on. Okay. All right. Go lay down. Lay down. Okay, perfect. 

Krys [23:40 - 23:42]: Okay, perfect. Right? 

Levent [23:43 - 23:44]: That's what. That's why he's been whining. 

Krys [23:44 - 23:48]: It is perfect. And look at this one on the corner of the. 

Levent [23:48 - 23:50]: Lay down, Lay down. Come on. 

Krys [23:51 - 23:52]: Okay. 

Levent [23:53 - 23:54]: What else we got? 

Krys [23:54 - 23:58]: Communication. That was yours. What do you mean by that? 

Levent [24:01 - 24:52]: I think. I mean, listen, it took me a long time. I think this was like a personal thing for me to be. To ask what you want. I mean, as. As nice as it is for you to make me feel a certain way by doing. Anticipate. Oh, great. But at the end of the day, you're not a mind reader. So if something is important to me, for me to be able to ask, to say, hey, can we do this? Or can you do this? Or, hey, when you said that, it made me feel like this, or, you know, just. And, and. And that took many years of therapy because I came from a place where it was taught, verbalized, that if you have to ask for it, then it's not worth it. So. But there are times where you have to ask for it. 

Krys [24:52 - 24:53]: Yeah. 

Levent [24:53 - 25:32]: So I think that that, to me, that's what the communication and the thing that I learned from you the most is you have no problem doing that. Like, I remember you, like, you saying, like, hey, this is what I need. And I was. At first, I was like, well, again, early on, when the. As a relationship is developing, I would take that personally. It's like, okay, what didn't I do? Why did I fail her that she has to ask for this? But in reality, it's just. That's just a. You know, if that happens early on, that, that, that's part of the discovery. Like, hey, this is important for me. Like, I need you to do this. 

Krys [25:32 - 25:33]: Yeah. 

Levent [25:34 - 25:38]: So communication, I think, is important. 

Krys [25:38 - 27:49]: Yeah, I, at first I did. I went through a period of time understanding what I want and who I am. And I did it. You know, it was a couple years of. It was just me and me. And I was not willing to hold anything in anymore. And I remember when we first. When I. You were sort of like my first experiment, so to speak, with that. And I was just like, we're going to see. We're just going to see how this goes. I'm just going to kind of say what I want. And, and like, I remember having the conversation with you where. When you, when you are yourself or when you tell someone what you want, or like if you're a physical touch person and you put your hand out and if someone doesn't give you their hand back, that's just information. It's not rejection. Right. That's just information that that person is not meeting you there and maybe that's not your person. And if you say how you feel about something that if they don't reciprocate, if they get angry at you, that is just information. And for me, I had to really hone in on that, being like a people pleaser and just kind of like moving and talking, just doing things that I knew people wanted me to do or wanted me to say to come into my own and to be unafraid of saying, this is who I am and this is what I want, and I gotta be ready for someone to not like that or want that. And if that's the case, that's almost better for me to know sooner so that, you know, if that's the person or not. And we. It took us, you know, it took us a few months, but we. I remember when also in the first, like two months, because we clicked so well. We went to eat over here and we were like, is it a red flag that we're, you know, moving so fast? And we were like, we were both like, no, you know, we're fine. And then it kind of like a month or two later, we started having a little bit of a, like a communication breakdown, I think, on my part, because I was kind of like pulling back. And I think, I think that, you. 

Levent [27:49 - 28:19]: Know what, that's, that's an important point in our relationship that we should share for the sake of sort of, you know, learning and improving others, is that we did go through it because in my opinion, because we were progressing at a certain rate. And I think through human nature, you think like, oh, this is going really well. Everything is going well. It's checking off all these boxes. It's going great. It's going great. And then when, when things don't mesh, you're like, oh, my God, this is a deal breaker. 

Krys [28:19 - 28:19]: Yeah. 

Levent [28:19 - 28:26]: And I think we went through a phase where we thought there were certain things that were deal breakers. 

Krys [28:26 - 28:27]: Yeah. 

Levent [28:27 - 29:23]: When Subsequently, we found out they really weren't. Which goes back to the communication thing. That, that. And I think again, with experience and wisdom comes like, okay, you know what? Let's get creative. Like, how could we make this a win win? Or how can we resolve this? Or, you know what? Maybe it's just not important enough to deal with it. You know, why are we so focused on it when, you know, like, where we wanted to live early on was a big point of discussion? And I remember as we went through that process, why are we even talking about, no one is moving anywhere. Like, you're there, I'm here. Like, we're not going anywhere. So, you know, who cares if, you know, this is. This is a big issue. So. Yeah, but through communication, I think, you know, you resolve that and you figure it out. 

Krys [29:23 - 30:40]: Yeah, I. I was. I was not seeing that. I was like, I felt like I. Or I was acting like I was not willing when I really felt. And I really am very willing to, you know, make it work, essentially. And this is not really a habit. This is just something that I know that I need in a relationship and that I think that everybody deserves in a relationship as a partner who is committed and willing to put in effort, because that's what it takes. And if you're in sort of denial about that and you don't think that it takes work, then you're in sort of fairytale land because it's just. It can be. Our relationship is amazing. Like, we are so good together. We have 98%, you know, great times, but there's been a few times where we've hit a bump and we have had to communicate, you know, laugh, hold hands, and at the end of it all, were both willing to put in the effort. Because without that, what do you have? 

Levent [30:40 - 31:16]: Yeah, well, again, it just goes back to us versus everything else versus me versus you. I think once that. Once that switch goes off in your head with the person that you're with, then I think everything changes. Yeah, but a lot of people never get to that point. And I. And I don't. You know, and going back to the earlier episode with. With how you meet people and how many people there are, especially in dense areas like this, you have this sense of like, oh, there's a better option, there's a better option, there's a different option. There's. You know, but. 

Krys [31:16 - 31:37]: Yeah, so, I mean, there, There. There always is another option, right? Like that there's endless, but being okay with who you are, where you are, and seeing the person in front of you for who they are and what they offer. I think a lot of people miss out on something great for something potentially great. 

Levent [31:37 - 31:38]: Yeah. 

Krys [31:38 - 32:42]: Yeah. All right, let's get back into some. Some habits. We have two more. One is date night. So we both work from home. We're together all the time. A lot of the time you go. You work from home separately. Not in the same place, but we're together a lot of the. Your workday ends early. We're together all weekend. But being together doesn't really mean you're spending time together. And a couple of the things that we've. That we've done. So I live close to the city, and one of the things that I wanted to make sure that I'm doing personally is that I'm going into the city if I live close to the city. So something we started doing before I went to my retreat, we need to pick it back up. We drive into the city super early on a Sunday morning, like, before anybody's on the road, and we go get a bagel, like, in a different place. So not only are we getting, like, trying the bagels around the city, but, like, no one's there. It's so cool, right? Like, no one's there. It's a ghost town. 

Levent [32:42 - 32:45]: We're literally, like, a mile away from New York City, which is crazy. 

Krys [32:46 - 32:49]: 12 minutes to get there. It might be $40. 

Levent [32:50 - 32:53]: Yeah, we need to look into that. With the new taxes and all that. 

Krys [32:53 - 32:55]: I think it's pretty costly to get a bagel. 

Levent [32:55 - 32:56]: Most expensive bagel. 

Krys [32:56 - 33:17]: But. But it' like, we're not really fancy. Go out, date people. We're, like, both pretty simple, and. And I think that, you know, I'd rather like. To me, that's, like, an adventure. It's, like, super fun. And we don't drink, so. Right. Like, we're not spending. Like, if you go out and you have. 

Levent [33:17 - 33:26]: Plus, you've. You've been exposed to my. Oh, look at the trees. Look at the buildings. Look at that plan. 

Krys [33:26 - 33:27]: Definitely. 

Levent [33:27 - 33:33]: So, like, the entire ride is an adventure in itself, not just the bag. That was New York City. 

Krys [33:33 - 34:12]: That was something that was borderline. Like, it was like that for me when we. For. Because everywhere we would go, he'd be like, look at that building. And, like, look at the door and look at the sign. And I don't even know when it happened, but all of a sudden, I'm like, look at the way the bricks are lined up. And I'm like. I'm like, I have to. And then he. He started pointing Out. He's like, you were, you're doing it, you're doing it. And I'm like, I am doing it. But it's, it's nice to look around. And you said that a couple times to like when I would be going out and walking or doing something, you'd be like, you know, make sure that you look around. And that's a way to talking about the long life. I think that's a way to like, you know, slow things down and really enjoy life. 

Levent [34:13 - 34:13]: Yeah. 

Krys [34:13 - 34:16]: Okay, last tip. Projects together. This one is you. 

Levent [34:17 - 34:17]: Big one. 

Krys [34:17 - 34:27]: This one is you. We do a lot of projects together, which is so different than getting things done. Like, because you could get chores done and we've done that as well too. 

Levent [34:27 - 34:49]: But yeah, I mean, I think for me it's like sort of part like I like doing stuff with like, you know, putting the garden in the flowers and all that kind of stuff. Besides that, what I've sort of learned is, is that I could do. There's. There's very few things that I don't like doing or I'm not good at it. So. 

Krys [34:49 - 34:50]: Why humble? 

Levent [34:50 - 35:01]: Well, I'm just saying, like, you know, like, like why pay someone to do a subpar. When you're excellent, you can do it and fix it and at least we get the scent. And then, then the, you know, sort of the, the. 

Krys [35:01 - 35:17]: You have saved me a lot of money by just literally the question, like, I'll be about to buy something or do something and he'll be like, are you Deeves? And I'll be like, I guess I don't, you know, and it's so true. And we, and you get a better product out of it. 

Levent [35:18 - 35:35]: So like doing stuff together, just like the, the feedback sense of accomplishment. And then like I can't wait for the spring to the plants because it's going to look that much better this year and you know, we're going to get level of, you know, hey, we did this together. 

Krys [35:36 - 35:36]: Yeah. 

Levent [35:36 - 35:40]: Kind of a thing. And yeah, it, I think creates a stronger bond. 

Krys [35:40 - 36:14]: Yeah. And we have on some projects we've done together, we have like photos or little like time lapse videos. So also like document your moments. I know that it, you know, when you're with each other all the time and especially if you have like kids at home and it's like really busy or your busy jobs or all of the above, like the occasional selfie is, you know, maybe you do that when you're out. But just taking, taking intentional photos because it's really nice to look back on when you planted the tree in front, when. Oh yeah, you're pulling it out of the car. 

Levent [36:14 - 36:14]: Yeah. 

Krys [36:14 - 36:16]: Our first Christmas tree together. 

Levent [36:17 - 36:19]: Well, that's like the whole thing of like creating traditions. 

Krys [36:19 - 36:20]: Yeah. 

Levent [36:20 - 36:23]: Like we've talked about getting a picture in front of the tree every year. 

Krys [36:23 - 36:24]: Yes. 

Levent [36:24 - 36:32]: So as you see it grow, it's sort of like symbolic of the relationship growing and you know, putting down roots and you know, all that kind of stuff. 

Krys [36:32 - 36:37]: So that's a good, that's another good habit to add to the list. Tradition. Creating your own traditions. 

Levent [36:37 - 36:39]: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. 

Krys [36:39 - 36:42]: Do we collect anything together? 

Levent [36:45 - 36:46]: No, I don't think so. 

Krys [36:46 - 36:58]: Which I kind of like that because I don't like stuff. Well, he, he disagrees with that. I am a self proclaimed minimalist with 150 pairs of sneakers. 

Levent [36:58 - 37:03]: Yeah. If you only saw how many Amazon boxes are in the garage right now. 

Krys [37:04 - 37:06]: It's all necessary. 

Levent [37:06 - 37:07]: Yes, yes. 

Krys [37:07 - 37:07]: Right? 

Levent [37:07 - 37:08]: Yes. 

Krys [37:08 - 37:19]: Something comes and he's like, it's in 17 parts. And he's like, what is this? I'm like, you're gonna find out. You're gonna find out soon. But we, but we are a good team. 

Levent [37:20 - 37:32]: Yeah, no, it's a good team. It's fun doing stuff together. Not. It goes back to the. It doesn't create anxiety. It creates like I look forward to. 

Krys [37:32 - 37:36]: Yeah. Like what are you, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do later? We love doing like house chores. 

Levent [37:37 - 37:37]: We're home bodies. 

Krys [37:37 - 38:04]: We are home bodies through and through. Yeah. Any other habits? I think that's it. That's a good list. That's a good list. You got happy morning, secret handshake, little gesture gestures. Individual gratitude, expressing gratitude, communication. Which. That's a big one. But I feel like more specific. Is communicating what you want. 

Levent [38:04 - 38:04]: Yes. 

Krys [38:05 - 38:55]: And not being afraid to communicate what you want. Date night. And it doesn't have to be like a big date. It's just a time where you're leaving your house, going somewhere together. No pets, no kids. No. It's just you and your person spending quality time together. We tr. We really are good without our phones. We try to have no phone time. That's another. That I'm going to add that audible to the list. A healthy habit for a healthy relationship schedule. No phone time. Like sometimes I'll just be like, I'm putting my phone away for two hours. And he'll be like, I'm going to do that too. Put my phone away too. And it's just, just feels like, I don't know, there just feels like some Extra space there without the phone and then the projects together. Getting things done in the house has to get done. Why not do it together? 

Levent [38:55 - 38:55]: Yeah. 

Krys [38:55 - 39:06]: Yeah. I think these were good. Let us know if they helped. What should our next episode be? What do you want to talk about? 

Levent [39:07 - 39:08]: Architecture. 

Krys [39:09 - 39:12]: Architecture. That's definitely not good. 

Levent [39:16 - 39:17]: Yes. 

Krys [39:17 - 39:23]: We have so much in common, but on the other hand, we're so different, but it just works. 

Levent [39:23 - 39:24]: There you go. 

Krys [39:24 - 39:29]: And I hope everybody out there finds that, because life is so much better. 

Levent [39:29 - 39:31]: Go find it. Go look. 

Krys [39:31 - 39:32]: It's there, right? 

Levent [39:32 - 39:33]: Yeah, absolutely. 

Krys [39:33 - 39:49]: Go look for it. It's there. Look for it. Don't stop looking until you find it. All right, friends, thank you so much for listening to the Fit Like Krys podcast. Thank you for joining us again. We'll give you a little break for now, but we'll definitely have you back. I think I. On Instagram, I. 

Levent [39:49 - 39:50]: Quarterly. We can do quarterly. 

Krys [39:50 - 39:51]: We could do quarterly. 

Levent [39:51 - 39:51]: Yeah. 

Krys [39:51 - 39:55]: I asked people if they had questions for you. Let's see if any questions came in. 

Levent [39:55 - 39:56]: Oh, boy. 

Krys [39:56 - 40:23]: I think I. I think I saw some Jimmy. Oh, Lord. Okay, let's see. What's a healthy habit that you started doing by dating flk? It's so funny, because people like drinking water. He. He does not. Did not drink any water. Like, no water. Like, not even a sip of water. Now we're up to, like, 20 ounces a day. At least. 

Levent [40:23 - 40:31]: At least. It's in my thought process. I hear your voice, especially during the challenges. Yeah. What else? Nothing else. 

Krys [40:31 - 40:39]: Oh, sorry. I don't know if I want to say that. 

Levent [40:39 - 40:40]: Oh, boy. 

Krys [40:40 - 41:09]: But we're gonna keep that one for the next episode. You're gonna tune in. Thank you guys so much for listening. The Fit Like Krys podcast. New episode every Wednesday. You can find out more about me, my programs, join my challenge if it's not too late, depending on when this episode airs. And love toned in February. If you missed the February one, we got March Madness. But we're helping you get f well and make a better you so you could be a better partner in your relationship. Thank you so much for joining, guys. We'll see you next time. Thanks, babe. 

Levent [41:09 - 41:10]: Thank you.