8 Lessons I've Learned This Year (Birthday Episode)

Welcome back to the The Fit Like Krys Podcast. In this special birthday episode, I reflect on the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the past year as I transition from 40 to 41. Time flew by, and while I barely felt like I got to be 40, this past year was packed with life-changing realizations about personal growth, resilience, and stepping into a new chapter.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• The Power of Starting Over – How changing your physical environment can help you break free from feeling stuck in life, career, or relationships.
• Why Declarations Define the Future – The importance of speaking your goals into existence and how this mindset shift can transform your year.
• The Fulfillment of Serving Others – How shifting my focus to helping people changed my outlook on success and personal growth.
• Leading with Love Instead of Fear – The difference between decisions made from fear versus love and how it impacts relationships and opportunities.
• Refocusing on What You Can Fix – The mindset shift that keeps you from being stuck in frustration and instead moves you toward solutions.
• How Nutrition Affects Mood and Energy – The simple change in my eating habits that made a big difference in my daily life.
• Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should – A hard but necessary lesson in integrity and making conscious choices.
• Why Life Gets Better Every Year – Embracing the idea that your best years are still ahead and how to shift your mindset to welcome growth.

Join the Konversation

If you’re looking to make this your fittest summer ever, join the FLK Method for coaching, support, and motivation. You can reach me via email at fitlikekrys@gmail.com or send me a DM on Instagram.

And since it’s my birthday, consider this your reminder to celebrate yourself too. Whether it’s a big party or just taking a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come, don’t let your birthday pass without making it special.

Thanks for listening to the The Fit Like Krys Podcast. See you next time.

Transcript

Krys [0:00 - 26:04]: Foreign. Welcome back to the Fit Like Krys podcast. This is a very special episode because it is. I'm in my final moments of being 40 and I don't know exactly what happened, but I feel like I didn't even get a chance to be 40. Like I'm turning 41, but when was I 40? I don't even. It zipped by and as I was planning for this episode, I wanted to go over, like, things that I've learned in the past year, which I will. But I was just going through the year and so much has happened this year for me. This has been. Ugh, before I get into that, thank you so much for listening for watching. If you're not watching yet, we are on YouTube and it's so much better with a visual. So pop it onto YouTube. Subscribe to YouTube, you can on Spotify, like definitely share. If you have not rated this podcast yet, just take a second, just pause me, just pause me for a second and go like, rate, share all that good stuff. And thank you so much in advance for listening. Today's episode is Happy birthday to me and all the lessons that I have learned. Not all the lessons I was going to go with my age, but I'm like 40. Lessons seems like a really long podcast that I'm not up for. So I'm going to just take 10 or less and see how it goes. I don't even know. These are in no specific order. So I'm just kind of going off of the biggest lessons this year. I'll start with the fact that I. I mean, I went through a big life transition in 2021 and it's 2025, so that seems like a really long time ago. But for me, it seems like just yesterday where I did not know how I was gonna move forward from a divorce. And I. People out there resonate with that and starting over in general. And this month, that's going to be one of our topics. Starting over in your life, in your relationship, in your career. And I thought it'd be a really good episode. Now to talk about my lessons in the last year, because it started with starting over, I moved from a house in the suburbs to a condo slash townhouse in. In the city. And it's really different atmospherically, but also just energetically. Like it was a huge shift for me. I had lived in the suburbs of New Jersey for 10 plus years. So to move back into the city, which is where I moved to New Jersey from, I'm in Jersey City, to be clear, but it still feels Very city. It's. It's different. And so that was the. I forced myself to move. Like, I literally. It felt like I was picking my legs up with my hands. Cause I didn't want to. It was like I didn't want to move, but I knew that I had to to start over. I was just in the same place. And so that's gonna be my first lesson, is that if you feel stuck and you've been stuck for a while, I'm not talking about, you know, a week or two. I'm talking about 2, 3, 5, 10 years. Moving your actual location, like, physically plucking yourself out of where you're comfortable and going into another place is a recipe for getting unstuck. So I think a lot of people, again, out there, resonate with just feeling like you lived a certain way for so long. And to imagine your life any other way feels you can't even imagine it. And so to move yourself to another place, and this can be in your house, your job, your relationship. Like, if you feel stuck in a bad way, actually taking yourself out of that situation and changing the view outside of your window quite literally really helps to move you because it forces you to move in a direction whether you want to or not. You are in another place, in another space, and you have a clean slate. And I had that moment, moment of, I have a clean slate now. Just because the view outside my window changed doesn't mean my emotions changed. And am I going to stay stuck in that mindset and those emotions with this clean slate that I've made for myself? So it kind of inspires. It inspired and motivated me to just get in a different headspace. And that goes to my next lesson, because the headspace that I was in when I turned 40 was, this is going to be the best year ever. I declared that to my online wellness community. I declared it on Instagram. Whatever platforms that I do have, I declared it to my friends and family. This is going to be the best year ever. And so the lesson is, declarations define the future. And there's a lot of religious texts, ancient texts, philosophers, scientists. It kind of crosses all ologies of when you write something down, when you say something, you can speak things to existence, you can write things to existence. And it's not enough to declare, but that's definitely the start of it. So if you're wanting to change your life in any major way or do something that you're scared of doing, declare it. Because even if you don't start something right away, you've kind of put it out there, and it puts a little, for me, necessary pressure. You've got to put some pressure on yourself when it comes to personal growth, because the world will just let you stay kind of who you are and how you are for the most part, until life decides to give you a lesson. For me, it's important to push myself so that when life decides to push me, I'm a little more ready for it. But declarations define the future. And if you have not declared anything for this year yet, it's still pretty early. I actually just did a declaration with my online wellness community FLK method that this is going to be my fittest summer ever. And the cool thing about that is that you can define what fit is. To me, fit is a mindset. It's not how you look, it's how you feel. Usually that translates into how you look, but declaring that and saying it over and over again is going to define my summer. It's going to define my future, no doubt about it. I can't tell you exactly how it's going to go or how it's going to look, but I can tell you that saying that and writing that down and literally declaring it on a piece of paper is going to define my future and bringing me to my next lesson. So what is this episode going to be called? I guess I'll think about that after. But the lessons I've learned in this past year when I turn 40, I did think it was going to be like something drastic that happened. It wasn't. Like I said, I really didn't even feel like I got a chance to be 40 before I turned 41. But this year was packed with lessons. And coming right off the declaration lesson, when I decided to do that, I immediately felt in my soul to share it with other people and to not, and I say share it to other people in the sense that I offered it as, hey, guys, why don't you do this too? Because one of the things that I learned this year for me is that serving others is the only true lasting fulfillment I have had. And I have tried all types of different ways to feel and be fulfilled in my life, you know, from here to here and all in between and serving others and helping people. It's something that I think we hear about from a young age. It was never made a big deal to me. You know, my life growing up, I never thought that that's what I was doing in the industry that I'm in, in the fitness and wellness industry. I got into the fitness and wellness industry, because someone told me I was good at it. And I was like, ah, there's nothing else to do kind of thing. And I did it. And, you know, three years later, four years later, five years later, 10 years later, you just get really good at the things you repeat. Which is another lesson that I learned before this year. But this year I learned that the reason that I started this is not the reason that I continue it. And I've really made my mission and my why to serve others. And that just makes me, you know, I feel so fulfilled to a place of. I don't. I still get tired. Like, you know how you get tired from work, even if you love it? Like, I get tired. But the tired feels. It's like a tired after, like a hard workout, you know, it's like a different kind of tired you get when not only are you doing something you love, but that something you love is helping other people. And it was helping other people before, but as soon as I sort of aligned with that and said, I am. This helps other people, but it changes when you say, I am going to do this to help other people. And that was a clearer shift that I made this year. And I continue to look for more ways to serve other communities. All right, another lesson. It's better to lead with love than with fear. I learned this lesson a little earlier in the year and sort of actually I learned this lesson most in the month of August as I was navigating a new relationship with my now amazing partner. There was a point where I took a step back and I was making decisions out of fear. I mean, when you completely let yourself go and it ends in a way that you never imagined, you know, soul crushing, you don't want to ever do that again. And I had that moment. I had that moment. And it was a moment that lasted about a month where I was just pulling away. Pulling away, pulling away and making a lot of decisions based on. I don't want to have to go through that again. I don't want to ever go through that again. And then realizing that that kind of is the point of life, right? Like, if you don't open yourself in that way again, not even initially, but again, you don't get to feel certain ways again. So I really, in my relationship, but also in friendships, with family, my default is defensiveness and anger. I would say, like most of my life, especially with conflict and building relationships, and when people get too close, pull away. But this year, I have really tried my best to lean in and to make decisions based on love and not fear and understand the difference between the two. And I'll tell you the difference between the two. If it's based out of fear, you'll end up isolated for the most part and not connected. That's the direction that you're going. When you make it out of love, you're more connected. And that doesn't necessarily, like, mean more friends or more social. It's just a really specific feeling. You're either disconnected or you're connected. And I think that the difference between those two feelings is one way you took out of fear and one way you made out of love. These. These kind of go all with each other. This wasn't intentional, but the next one kind of even goes with that, with when things are not going in the way that I want them to. My other lesson that I learned is to refocus on what I can fix. So this is an accountability thing, which I feel like I've been generally good at taking accountability for a while, but I've even taken it a step further when I feel irritated, anxious, sad, mad. And it has to do with an external force, the world, a person, a relationship. When I feel. When I'm in those feelings, I bring myself to what can I. What can I fix? What is a way that. What can I do with how I am reacting, how I'm hearing, how I'm approaching the situation that will make it better for me? I can't be in control of how someone else feels about a situation, but how can I refocus on what I can fix? Instead of being fixated on something that I actually have no control over, how someone feels, what someone does, just refocusing on what I myself can fix. This next one is more funny than anything, but I feel that it's so true. So in one of my earlier podcasts, I was mentioning how I had this light bulb of I think I was malnourished for so many years. And maybe that's the reason I was a bitch, because I was just hangry. And this year I eat really clean and healthy. But this year there was just something that clicked in my head and I wrote down for the lesson, an extra meal a day keeps hanger away. And that sounds obvious, but in the realm of, realistically speaking, your routine and eating healthy, that was always a gray area for me because snacking has always been really challenging. So I would just avoid it. I'd be like, okay, I'm gonna just eat three meals and I'm eating anything else because, like, I Can't stop myself. Or instead of eating meals, I would just, like, be eating all day. But I've. Thanks to my. My boyfriend who cooks lots of food, so we have lots of food. I'm able to now instead of, you know, like, I. I have breakfast and typically I get hungry and I would just wait till lunch, but now I like, make myself a mini meal. So I have four meals a day instead of three meals a day. And it's such like a silly and small thing, but it has transformed my demeanor. I just feel like. And that maybe people in my life don't feel this way. I'm now starting to think about the people that, like, deal with me on a daily basis. I'm like, do they think I'm nicer? I don't know, but I feel like I'm nicer. I'm nicer to myself at the very least. And the lesson is, if you're hungry, eat. Groundbreaking. I know, but it definitely is something that as a woman, as a woman specifically, you know, how do you. How do you get results? You eat less. And that's always been something that I've tried to train women out of because I was raised that way and lived my life that way for, for so long, but, you know, not to be afraid of food and instead being intentional about it. And I'm not going to get into a whole nutrition thing right now, but eat meals, Eat meals. And if three meals isn't enough, eat four. This is my. Oh, I have two more, actually. Okay. Before that one, this one was a recent one. It's still on the. Still makes the year of 40. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. And this came about. All right, listen, whatever. I'm not even gonna make excuses for myself, but there's a lot of self checkouts. Okay? And who's watching? How easy is it to steal extra paper towel from Target? Don't even judge me right now because I know as everybody has stolen something from Target or a CVS self checkout. And if you haven't, I don't know, maybe I'm just a bad person, but I'm like, you know, be again. I was like, raised. I just. This is something that I didn't even know was like a bad thing until recently, which I acknowledge sounds terrible, but I would be ringing stuff up and if like, something didn't ring up, I'd be like, you know, it's like free or like if something's under the cart and like, no one notices and like, I have the money to pay for this stuff. And just because I can do this doesn't mean that I should. And again, this sounds like really obvious, but this applies in so many areas of my life that I'm resourceful to a fault, you know, for better and for worse. And I've had to take care of myself in times where I, I either stole food or was hungry. So I, I, it comes from a place that I do give myself a little grace. But I've gotten to the point in life that obviously I don't have to do these things anymore. And even with people, you know, like saying certain things to make things go in a certain way or manipulation in a sense, whether it's actual manipulating a situation or, you know, using my, my, my words, just because I can doesn't mean that I should. And over the past, you know, 10 years, I've, I've definitely developed into a more self aware and like better human. But really just this year I had this little like ping in my brain of like it might have been in Target or cvs. There was like a moment where I remember and I don't even remember what the thing was. Maybe it was a face mask, it was something that I was getting a bunch and like I could ring up all four, just three, you know, like, who's gonna know? And I just had this moment of like, what are you doing? And I would just always justify it and I'm like, I am just, I have gotta stop this, this has to stop now. And it has. And since then I haven't done it. And I feel like shame even saying it, but I want it honest about it. And maybe there's someone else out there who, there's things that you're still doing for survival, but you don't need to survive anymore. Like you're safe, you're successful, you're smart, you've gotten to the place that you need to get and you don't need to do certain things, you don't need to say certain things. This also is really powerful with people pleasing saying things to people because you know that it will get you to a certain place or it will get you out, out of a certain situation or even in relationships like talking about infidelity or all of the things that there's so much temptation around us to do the wrong thing and we know it's the wrong thing. And just because we can doesn't mean that we should. And I would like to take this moment to personally apologize to cvs, Target, Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, Bloomingdale's Nordstrom. Oh, where the. Let me say my first job. Oh, my God. I actually found my name tag this week, this past week from my very first job. Oh, I wish I had it as a visual. Right now. It's up in my office, and it says, discover the difference. And it's the tagline for this supermarket called Star Market in Boston. And I stole a lot from them. Again, I'm so sorry. It was food. I needed it. I don't, um. And I got fired for stealing, but I actually got fired for stealing on my lunch break. I stole a Starburst and a newspaper. I don't. My thing was, like, I was gonna return the newspaper, but they got me on the Starburst. You can't return the Starburst. I was like, oh, I got caught. But the truth is, I got caught for, like, Anyway, I'm sorry. Any other store specifically. I really think CVS got the worst of it. But thank you for. Thank you to myself for realizing that just because I can doesn't mean that I should. And also, like, no matter what your past is, this is another lesson. No matter what your past is, you can wake up tomorrow and decide that you are not that person anymore. We all deserve forgiveness. We all deserve another chance. We all deserve a chance to learn and to grow and to be a better and a different person. Allow the people in my life to do that. And I just hope for the same. So if there's a version of you that you don't like, you don't have to be that version of yourself anymore. And sometimes people are stuck in the versions of themselves because their family or friends expect that version of them. And maybe they're comfortable being that version. But you don't have to be anybody who you don't want to be. And you can literally wake up tomorrow and decide to take a whole new path and say, you know what? Just because I can doesn't mean that I should. Which leads me to my last lesson. Life just gets better. Every single year, it just gets better. It gets better because you know more, because you experience more, and because the best years are ahead of you. If you are in a mindset of, you know, yesteryear and my high school and college, I just need you to get out of that mindset right now, because the best years are ahead of you. For the simple, simple fact is that you know more now than you ever did. And you can use that information. You can use insight to continue to grow as a person, to be a better version of yourself, to be a Better version of. You can start to build the version of yourself that you aspire to be. You can start doing that right now. You can declare the life you want. You can declare who you want to be. I think the future, you know, it's not super useful living in the past or the future, but if I had to choose one, it would be the future. Because we still have that way to go. And I am looking so forward to 41. 41's going to be better than 40, because my last lesson is life just gets better. So I know that it's just gonna keep getting better. And thank you guys all for the birthday wishes in adv. Um, I'm being prophetic right now. My birthday is March 15th, if you didn't know, you can shoot me a DM on my birthday. Um, I love a good birthday wish. And if you are sharing my birthday month, happy birthday to you too. And make a big deal. You know when people are like, oh, I don't do anything much for my birthday, make a big deal about your birthday. Celebrate yourself. Let other people celebrate you. Your friends and family love to do that. If you're one of those people who, you know, just wants it to pass by, I'm telling you that people will be happy to celebrate you. And you celebrating yourself is a really good way to kick off the year. Like, buy yourself a happy birthday balloon. Don't wait for someone to buy it for you. I love those people that post a birthday post and it's of themselves. They're just like, happy birthday to me. I'm like, yes, start it. You can start it. You don't have to wait and just be like, oh, nobody remembers my birthday. Very get into your Eeyore vibe. You don't have to wait for someone to notice you or your birthday can celebrate yourself. That's actually the most powerful celebration is when we learn to celebrate ourselves. And I am definitely celebrating this year with an entire community, new friends, same family who I'm so lucky for, new boyfriend and new place that I live. And just so much adventure and fun coming up in the year to come. And I look forward to bringing you all along on the journey with me. Thank you so much for listening to the Fit Like Krys podcast. If you want to have your fittest summer ever, you can still do that with FLK Method. We are starting. We've already started, but summer is still a little bit away, so you can start at any time. Email me@fitlikeKrysmail.com you could DM me on Instagram. I'M really approachable and accessible in any, you know, email, text, dm. If you need help, you have someone here who will definitely help you get on the right path and make it your best year ever. Happy Birthday to me and thanks for joining and I will see you next time. Thanks for listening.