019: Aligning Ambitions: How Understanding Your Desired Life Fuels Success

In this podcast episode of "Body Over Mind," hosts Mike Chang and Stephen Yeh delve into the concept of clarifying the "why" behind the goals individuals set for themselves. They emphasize the significance of having a clear understanding of one's desired life and ultimate objectives, as these motivations drive actions and shape personal growth.

The hosts introduce four key questions to help gain clarity on the underlying reasons for pursuing goals. They illustrate the process using an example of a podcast, discussing how it fits into the larger context of a desired life. Through a dialogue, they explore the multifaceted nature of goals, including both external achievements and internal experiences.

Stephen shares his perspective on the podcast as a means of broadcasting messages that align with his life purpose and mission, focusing on alignment and expansion of self. The hosts stress the importance of exploring these motivations to cultivate a deeper understanding of why certain goals are pursued.

Overall, the episode emphasizes the value of introspection and alignment with one's desired life in order to find clarity and meaning in pursuing goals.

Connect with Mike Chang:
- Instagram: @mikechangofficial
-Youtube: Mike Chang
- Website: www.flow60.com

Connect with Stephen Yeh:
-Instagram: @iamstephenyeh
-Twitter: @iamstephenyeh

Transcript

 welcome to another episode of Body Over Mind. This is Mike Chen with your co host Stephen Yeh. And today we're going to be talking about getting clear on why we're going to accomplish goals that we're going to accomplish.

I think having the why is the most important because it drives us to do the things we do. And I think most people know that. There are four particular questions or four particular things to look at that I feel really gain clarity. Helps us have clarity around this why and these four questions I use this all time in the program and it just helps someone get the full picture.

So today we're going to be talking about what they are why they're important And how to do it. So the first one here is On the desired life. So the desired life is basically What is the ultimate goal that we want to create? What is the end? Outcome, the final outcome, which a lot of times is really different than the actual tasks that we need to do.

So for example, let's put some context to this, right? Let's say if we were to, if we were to talk about this podcast and we'll go this podcast is the, is this action that we're doing right now, right? We do these podcasts and we share this information. But what would the desired desired goal to be?

How is this fit into kind of like this bigger picture? So I think each person, and this is the thing, there could be multiple people that are doing one project or one task, but the desired life, the desired outcome might be a little bit different for each person. So Stephen, if I was to ask you, what would the desired life, the desired outcome be from doing a podcast.

Now, what would you say? 

Yeah, good question. In terms of desired outcome for the podcast it's a very relevant question that you're asking right now because I also, for the past week, have been really diving more so into this and what I felt was that, for me, this podcast represents almost like a I'm just imagining like a broadcasting channel of what type of message that wants to be sent out.

And for me, my, my life purpose and mission is really to get myself more into alignment and also to feel more expansion within myself. And so these are the type of messaging that I would like to reach more and more people with. And when it comes to alignment and when it comes to expansion, it can diverge and there are many different aspects of that.

Let's say, for example, when you're even talking about, ideal life. For me, that falls... Much more into if you were to truly live in congruence with who you are and what you represent and who you naturally, truly are inside, how do we really start to expand ourselves more and more into becoming that person that we can, that, that we know that we feel much, just more free in.

So would you say this podcast is like a it's a task. It's a thing that helps. That it helps you with expanding who you are, like expressing the things that want to come out, right? Like you want to express yourself, you want to share, and this becomes a good medium to doing so.

Yeah, 

that's definitely, let's say, one of the aspects of what the podcast can be about. It's also a way to it's an outlet to share with others. It's an outlet to be here with you to also learn and see what perspectives come from that. And it's also just a way to connect with other people, because if someone is listening to this, then that means that they're resonating.

in some way of what we're talking about. So they're on this similar journey and this path. And this is how we start to build more and more of the community and start to connect with other people that are similar. 

So then let's dive into this, right? So maybe it was probably that the question was let's reframe the question, say.

Because here's the thing, right? It's it's like someone saying I want to exercise. Why? Because I want to get into better shape. And then you go, okay, how is exercise going to help you? Exercise does this and does that. Yes. Okay. But exercise, for most people, is a means to an end.

It's not the final product. It's just something that they need to do so they can do something else. So they can feel a certain way, and that way that they feel is going to do what? It's going to create this life. It's going to create that life. They're interactions. They're going to be this person.

They're going to do that thing. There are going to be some people that's I'm going to exercise for the sake of exercising. I just, it's just for the sake of climbing this mountain, just for the sake of lifting this weight. But I think a lot of people may see a little different. So I think this podcast is the same thing.

Yes, there's a lot of benefits. We can talk about what this will do and how it's important and how it can help. But let's say to answer that, it will be, what would your desired life be? And then how can this fit into it? So or we don't even need to talk about this. Maybe we can look at it as let's talk about What is the desired life and then later on we can see if this is something obviously is something that fits in But we're gonna go into the next question, which will be even more but let's talk about, let's say let's scratch this podcast.

I was probably that, that wasn't a good, that wasn't a good question. We'll scratch that. That's the thing it sounds yes, but the questions that we asked determine, determine the outcome of how we of what we get. Let's say this way. What would your desired life be?

Nothing to do with the podcast at all. Just what's your desired life? Okay, let's just paint a picture. You can share and then I'll give I'll give a an idea of mine. Sure. 

And I there's many different perspectives. So if you can give me maybe, cause I have, let's say a desired life of what it would look like on the outside and in the physical level.

And then I also have kind of a desired life of how I would like to experience life just on almost like a internal 

level. What would be the most, the simplest way, this, the simplest  way for someone to be able to grasp, 

grasp the idea? I'll wrap both of those in.

 It's actually a question that I would need to reflect on once again because it always shifts and morphs over time and the newer version hasn't really evolved 

so clearly just yet. I just put you on the spot. But it's 

great, I mean it's great to take this time to be able to start to dive in and see and I mean what I'm getting at right now is

What I'm getting at right now is essentially expanding more and more of what we've already created here. I think what we've created in this household has been absolutely phenomenal. And, not many people have experienced, co living and having different families around and having, raising kids.

Especially in modern society, and I feel that there are actually so many people that are craving that nowadays, but we're actually living it out right now and and being able to experience it. And what I'm imagining as we start to evolve more and more. Is the community start to expand out.

There's going to be more families who really just resonates with our vibe. And it's again, I think the terms That. Come into mind right now. It's been around for the last week or so is alignments and expansion 

What would you say? How would you describe? The way we live to those that aren't too familiar what was how would you just how would you describe that?

You know like this so this way they have an idea of what you mean by expanding from here 

I mean If we look at our situation currently, all right, we're living in Bali. We live in Let's just basically say it's literally like a mansion here. It's a huge villa. It's three stories.

We have three families who are living in the same space. And yet we still have enough space for our own kind of privacy if we need it. And so it's amazing because one you get that privacy when you want, when you just want to spend time with the kids or with the wife or whatever it is, but at the same time, you can also go into more of the communal areas and also just to, and just to interact and be able to hang out and be able to have discussions with people that are outside of your immediate family.

And I think it's magical. I feel that if it was just my family, like my partner and my kids in just one household, I feel like over the long term, it could get much more boring. 

You want to, you need to go and do more stuff. Yeah. Just around the same people all the time.

Yeah. 

Yeah. And I'm sure as, even the kids nowadays they're in some ways hanging out and as they start to get older, they're going to find their dynamics and start to hang out some more. And so it, it makes the environment just much more interesting. What about you?

How would 

you feel? To answer this question Yeah, then we'll cover and then we'll move on to number two. Alright, so this desired life is important because it kind of paints that, that main picture. I would I would agree. And I think that's why, and that's why we're all together in this place.

Because there is an alignment. There's an alignment with with having similar desired desired lives. I desire to have a life to where I'm surrounded by people that enjoy being around, high vibing people that are, passionate about health, passionate about service, they're passionate about creating, and it doesn't, it's not really isolated to what it is that they're creating, because creation is happening in so many ways.

But it's nice to be around that energy, being around that drive because it's, that energy is really contagious. There's a lot of momentum behind it and I really like that. And my desire of life, I see see a lot of people coming together to have that and to be able to support many people around the world to getting their mind and their body into this place to be able to create whatever desire that they want.

And as we know, the way that we, the way we create comes from the inside. Our state of being that we are determines what it is that we create. So if I'm creating nothing that's because I'm not really balanced on the inside. If I'm creating something I don't want that's because there is a strong imbalance on the inside.

It might be a lot of energy, because lack of energy means I create nothing. If I have strong energy, but then it's the, it's very fear based energy, low vibes. That I'm creating things, but it's not my desire. It's not there's not a lot of flow in it. Now if I have a lot of energy and this energy is very aligned, it's harmonious there's a sense of peace in that, then my creation is a reflection of that, right?

There's harmony in my creation. There's harmony in my creation. So that's how I, that's how I see that. And so in my mind, I want to have a training center. I want to have a place where people come together and they train and then they have shared life, it's community. It has everything that we need from restaurants and food and training and holistic healing and a place where people can do business, co work all of these things.

And I think like what you were saying, this is like just the, just a stepping stone towards it, and the next level from here is to have a bigger place and have more people come in and and just continue to elaborate and see where it goes. So yeah, so that's so that'll be mine.

So then let's dive into, so now it's okay we have desired lives. Now let's dive into the next thing, which is the one thing. Now, the one thing is different than the desired life. The one thing and this, I got this from Gary Keller. He wrote the book, The One Thing, and I love it because it helps somebody prioritize things.

It helps somebody be able to focus on what it is that's important. In Gary's book and Gary Keller, he's he started a realty company, real estate company that was, like, ended up being, like, the largest in North America. I don't know if it still is, but it might be Keller Williams. And And so he built this massive conglomerate business and just served a lot of people.

But his mentality to how he built this one of it was this thing that he called the one thing, which is, what is the one thing that you can do, that you can accomplish? Therefore, by accomplishing it, everything else becomes easier.

What is the one thing that you can accomplish? Therefore, by doing so, everything else becomes easier or unnecessary. I learned about this many years ago. And when we look at it in this context here, what is the one thing that we can do, therefore, by doing it, our desired life that we want to create?

becomes easier or we, or or unnecessary to do anything else. What would you 

say that one thing is for you? 

The one thing for me is to continue to express and share. Do it non stop. Do it with as many medians as possible, as often as possible. And That I know is the one thing for me, because whether I'm here sharing this with you guys here on this podcast or I'm here on a video, if I'm here on a, in person, on an event or wherever it is, if I continue to share This would create a community around people that are interested in these things.

This would go and allow me to support those that need support on how to become more aligned, and how to get their energy, mind, and body in the right place so they can create their desired life. Doing this would be able to create community, because then we're able to support a lot of people, because then we will be offering different types of services and programs and all the courses and all these different things.

People that are needing advice on certain things, if I can share it, I can help people with that. So that we build this community around here, which then accomplishes the desired life that I'm looking for. But in order to do that, what is the one thing? Continue to share, which is why I'm always looking for opportunities to continue to share share, and keep on going.

And when I do that, I'm super charged. I'm not tired. I can go on for hours without breaks. And that's when I know I'm on the right track. So that's that one thing. And because I identified it now, it's just, okay, how can I set this up? And this is where for me this podcast really helps because it's one of those it's one of those components that, that that.

Contributes that supports that so 

You talked about there's four steps of this We went over the first two. We what's the third one? 

So the third one is the consequence what is the consequence if You don't do the one thing if you don't accomplish it. What is the consequence how it happened?

What is the effect? And we need to identify that so this way we know what's going to happen. Because sometimes we, you know how we get into this positive thinking type of thing, which is great. And that means we basically focus on things that we want, and we don't focus on things we don't want.

That's great, right? But... We also, but there's an ask, but we need to know what the consequence is. There's a balance between I don't focus on the thing I don't want, versus I don't know what would happen if I don't do the things. There's a balance between that. If I focus on the things that I don't want too much, then I end up getting the things I don't want.

It's the law of attraction one on one. Whatever we focus on is where our energy flows. It's where our action goes. It's the direction that we'll end up going. But if we... are oblivious to the consequence of not doing things we need to do, then we may end up believing the excuses in our head.

Oh, yeah, I'm not gonna do it. It's okay. Yeah, nothing's gonna happen. No, it's all right. I'll just go another day, another week. Yeah, no big deal. We just make up random stuff. But it's not true. We're just making it up. But when we understand the consequence, the real consequence of what would happen, then at least we can have clarity.

And there's gonna be days where we don't feel like doing nothing, right? Okay. But we know in our mind, if I continue to do nothing, or if I continue to not do this one thing, because we're always doing something, so it's not when you're doing nothing, that's not the right, I'm going to say that, say it that way, if I don't do this one thing, then the consequence will be that, so that's why the one thing is really important, and it takes a little time to really understand this, because if we get it right, our focus becomes really clear, just focus on this, don't focus on this gazillion things, because the fact is we're all spending time doing something, but not all the somethings, is getting us to the right place.

There's only certain things that will create more effects than others. And what is those things? And out of those things, if we can select that one thing that creates the biggest effect... That is also the thing that we can do, the easiest thing that we can do, then that's the thing we focus on. So now the consequence, getting clear, is what would happen if we don't accomplish this one thing.

So far, it's first step, what do you want? Yeah. What is the life picture that you're looking to create? Second one is what is the one thing? What's the one main aspect that you really need to focus on in order to make this start to become a reality? The third one is about the consequences. What if you don't, what happens if you don't do anything?

And really imagine... 

What happens if you don't accomplish the one thing? What happens 

if you don't accomplish the one thing? 

Yeah, because the thing is, people will always do stuff. And those that say I'm doing this and I'm doing that. Yes, but they're not getting you where you want to go. And that's the thing is, and then they end up spinning their wheels.

So they have to identify the one thing. That's why the one thing is really important. We start off with hey, what's the target you want to hit? Yeah. Okay, now let's go ahead and select like the, let's select the arrow. It's like the bow. It's like the device, because it's not all devices.

It's if I want to go ahead and. And hit this target that's a hundred yards away. What am I gonna do? Could I A, throw a rock? B use this little toy bow and arrow? A slingshot? Or it's oh, but there's like this rifle with a huge sniper that I can just really aim. It's so we gotta know what is the right... Device, what is the right vehicle to get us there? 

And then what would you say the fourth one is? 

So the fourth one is the motivation reigniting the fire.

What do we tell ourselves when we are feeling low? When we don't feel like doing stuff? When we are unmotivated while we're down, the fact is it's gonna happen. And when it happens, it's not If. When it happens what are you going to say to yourself? What are you going to, what are you going to remind yourself, right?

This is a little bit different than just the consequence. The consequences, yeah, that's just, that's what the consequence is. Okay, but what are you going to focus on? What is going to drive you to do the things you need to do? Sometimes it's the consequence, but not all the time. Sometimes a person, let's say I was having this conversation with this woman and She was saying that she had a hard time getting out of depression.

She would get out, and then she'd get back in, and she'd get out, and she'd get back in. And, what's the consequence of having depression? Life really goes downwards and all of that. But that wasn't what would drive her to to... Move forward, to do the things you need to do. She's in a program and all of that what really would drive her is Reminding herself.

I got out before I overcame this before and if I did it before I could do it again that is what was in her mind. That was the driver. That was reigniting the fire for her and so you see it's sometimes different than the consequence so we need to know what it is that we need to tell ourselves and It needs to be something that we are telling ourself.

It's not, it needs to be written or said in a way that we are telling ourselves. So it's like saying, you are doing this, you can do this, you can do, it can be, it should be in that format. I guess if it's in I format it could work as well. 

I think the fourth one's super important.

Because what you said, it's not if it's ever going to happen, it's when it's going to happen and you need some tools and you need some ways to really get you back on track during those times because those are the times that can really steer you into direction that you don't want to go and then you may get lost.

before finding your way back again. But if you can have that, that, if you can expect it before it comes and prepare for it, then you can get back on track much faster. 

It's like preparing. It's like knowing that sometime you're going to fall. It's like knowing that sometimes you're going to fail.

It's okay. It's just part of life. But what do we do when this happens? How do we get back up? And if somebody doesn't know how to get back up, then when they fall, when they fail, it's gonna be a really tough journey to restart. But if somebody gets really good at learning how to get back up, they're not afraid to fail.

They're not afraid to fall. They'll just keep going and they fall, they get back up really quick. Somebody would not even realize that they fell. They'll just, they're back up on their feet really quick. Versus those people that take a long time, and all that time is a stoppage in momentum and energy.

So that's what this last one is about. It's like reminding ourselves, what is it that we need to know? What do we need to remember to reignite this fire? To get motivated again, whether or not we feel like we failed or just feeling low for whatever reason. What do we need to say to ourselves? And then this way we can get it back up, we can start moving forward again.

So that's the last part. That's why it's so important. There 

you go, folks. The four step process and if you really just think about it, method, methodically and you can see that there's a sequence to it. And as you work out the sequence and you really start to dive into your life to look at what you really want to create, it's a powerful process to be able to start creating the life that you're looking for.

Yeah, I was having a conversation with a gentleman just just earlier today and and he just joined the program, my 60 day program, and he was saying that this is something that's also used in some institute and in these like rehab programs. And I'm like, yeah cause this is just, it's just the things that are needed.

This is, to me, it sounds like if we really look at something and we see the whole picture of it it's just it's the information that we need to know, it just covers the basics. That's why it's universally used in different places. Because the why is the most important, but the why needs to be fully understood.

The why has to do with, okay, so what is the one thing, what is the desired life, what happens if I lose motivation, what would happen, what is the actual consequence if I don't do the work, and now that I fell. What's the motivation? What's the talk that I need to have to get back up on my feet and do it again?

Just it's just basics But these four are going to be really important for anybody who's really serious on accomplishing goals in life and I think for you know for people that are listening to the podcast here. I think a lot of you guys are interested in change You're interested in moving forward in life, you're interested in getting to become the best version of yourself.

And I think having, asking yourself these four questions are really important. And really, making sure you're clear about it. People spend, they don't spend enough time getting clear on their whys. Which is why these four questions are important. And so they just spend a little bit of time on their why, and they spend so much time on the process.

But it's the why that keeps them moving forward. It's the why that determines how hard they go at something. It's the why that determines on whether or not they are saying yes to what they're supposed to do. Or they are saying no and sacrificing. And let me rephrase that. It's the why that determines, that allows them to sacrifice the things that they would like to do.

But they sacrifice it so they can go after the things that they really want. This is how they say no to short term pleasure. So it can say yes to long term goals. See, it's like knowing the why, but people don't spend enough time, so they end up saying yes to too many short term things, and then they find that their life is always just it's never really moving forward in the right direction.

Everybody's living, but sometimes we can, when we get really clear on why things are important it makes a big difference. It changes the way we make decisions. 

Beautifully said. Thank you for sharing the wisdom once again, and I hope you guys enjoyed that podcast as much as I did and got as much value.

And really, if you listen to the end of this, make sure that you go through it and those aspects, the four aspects are clear for you and we'll see you on the next episode.