046: Stop Questioning Things in Your Life

The podcast explores the concept of surrendering control over life outcomes and embracing the idea that life is already planned out. It discusses the peace that comes from accepting this notion and highlights the dissatisfaction that arises from constantly striving for more. The hosts emphasize the importance of finding fulfillment in the present moment rather than constantly chasing future goals.

Then continues with the concept of understanding desires and actions without the need for constant analysis or justification. Ultimately, it suggests that true understanding comes from experience rather than questioning or analysis.

Connect with Mike Chang:
- Instagram: @mikechangofficial
-Youtube: Mike Chang
- Website: www.flow60.com

Connect with Stephen Yeh:
-Instagram: @iamstephenyeh
-Twitter: @iamstephenyeh

Transcript

Mike: [00:00:00] Do the work that's put in front of you, do it with all of your heart and soul, and then life will be better than what you can ever imagine it to be. This is something that it's hard to understand sometimes. Oftentimes when there is opportunities that are presented to us, we meet people.

There are people that ask us to do things. Oftentimes, we look at life and we think that we are in control over all of it, that somehow we created all of these opportunities and all of these meetings and all of these, uh, our life. But the reality is we actually didn't create those things. We never had any control over it.[00:01:00] 

And this quote is to Remind us to let go of constantly trying to control the outcome of everything and instead look at life as there is already a plan that is written, it is presented, it exists already for each one of our life and all we have to do is Play out the roles and the parts and the outcomes all we have to do is just do the work as if Life is a play.

It's like a movie and the whole all the scenes are written out. They're planned out This is gonna happen. This is gonna happen. But even if it is all planned out The actors still have to go in, and they still have to do the work, they still have to have the conversations, they still have to experience all of the outcomes.

So life happens the same way. Everything [00:02:00] is actually already there. All we have to do is play the characters. And then if we do this right, We will feel satisfaction and high levels of fulfillment. And this is because, now when we think about this, we go how could I feel fulfilled and satisfied if I'm not getting what I want and I just have to kind of accept how life is?

How would that make me fulfilled? Well, we have to remember the things that we want in our life, we are supposed to want. Number one. How we gain these things in our life, we don't know. That's the truth. Look at the things in your life right now. How did you get them? Every step of the way, did you think you had a plan?

Did you think it all happened the way that you planned? [00:03:00] If you were to go ahead and test out just today, for one full day, go ahead and plan out what you believe what will happen. Plan out the outcome. And then go through that day. You did this every single day for one week, you will come to the same realization that number one, you actually have very little control over anything, that number two, you can plan what you want to do and what you want to happen. but 

You don't have control over what actually happens. And between those two variables is our life because we're supposed to go and plan, we're supposed to go, I want this, I want that. And then the things that actually happen are supposed to happen. So therefore, if we understand this, [00:04:00] what it does is it gives us a sense of peace that everything is fine because there's a lot of people in the world that feels at so many moments throughout life that.

It's not fine that there's a problem with their life, that there's a problem with what's happening, but they aren't okay. Life is not okay, and when they come to this understanding that everything is fine the way it is right now, you're in the right place, the right time, everything is happening, and it's supposed to happen the way it is, people can come to a sense of peace.

And then they'll go through their cycles, the good times in their life where things happen that are favorable and then the struggles in their life, the low times, which we all have experienced. And we will continue to experience for the rest of our life. It will never be just one or the [00:05:00] other. If a person doesn't understand this, then they're always feeling like something's wrong with their life.

They always feel like they're behind. They always feel like they wish something else was happening in their life right now. They always feel like they could be doing something more, something different. Their experience in their life is this always constant lack. Like what's happening right now is not enough.

And that feeling it's really dissatisfying. It's like, doesn't matter what's happening. We will always feel this dissatisfying feeling because you can have really good things happening and still feel like it's just, it's just not good enough. Or that I want it to last and it's not lasting. I have this win, but this win will soon feel like just a normal day [00:06:00] because I've already set a higher goal and I haven't reached it yet.

So then I'm going to go through all these days and weeks and months of lack before I reach this next goal only to experience the sensation of a win for a short period of time before I feel like I'm in lack again and this emptiness of wanting more. Does that make sense to you, Stephen? 

Stephen: Hmm. Yeah, I mean, few different things come up, but when you're talking about how, if you can get into the state of mind that, everything is just unfolding and playing out, then it really does bring you much more into peace because then you get into a state of, okay, I do need to take action, but , it doesn't feel so heavy anymore because a lot of the heaviness comes from trying to 

think about it, we're trying to figure it out logically, then that brings on all [00:07:00] this additional stress to the body and to life. And, even beyond that is like when you're speaking about this, my mental mind was just like, I can see it totally working. Right? I can see it bring more peace and I feel like it's actually helpful to even just adopt it, whether it's true or not, because in the end, can we really know if that is true?

Maybe. But, as a daily experience. It's one of those things where it is, at least for me right now, it just feels like a very beneficial belief system and going back to the point of, the original aspect was just being careful of constantly striving for more and more because It reminds me of, the guy who created Twitch, you know, he had very lofty [00:08:00] goals.

He first wanted to become a billionaire. He hit that. And then once he got to that point, his brain automatically switched to, Oh my God, I'm only making billion, like I should be at 10 billion and it sounds a bit crazy, but at the same time, when you're at that level, you surround yourself with other people 

around that So, so if someone else has six or seven billion and you feel that, you're more intelligent or you're more hardworking, whatever it is, you should have more, that's how it can really catch you. I 

Mike: don't think it's bad that person wants more. And I experienced. You think it's bad that somebody wants.

Stephen: It's not bad that he wants more, but. It's not bad, but if you're stressing about it or like feeling down about it, I mean, I guess that can help push and, force you to keep going and expand, but, it's essentially a life where you're constantly feeling like [00:09:00] you were saying, like you're lacking.

Mike: Like something's wrong. Like something 

Stephen: is wrong. 

Mike: I'm only at a billion. There, there's something wrong. I should be at more. 

Stephen: I'm only at a billion. And everybody has like their different. Levels, like, I guess for me, especially in my early twenties, I didn't have such a high level at that time. I cared a lot more about, just having more freedom and being able to do what I want to do.

And so there was a time when I ran out of money and I was like, Oh shit, I got to get things going. First goal was, I was living in Southeast Asia at the time as well. And essentially it was like, first goal, I just want to make a thousand a month. And that'll cover kind of my living expenses or whatever it is.

And then hit that pretty quickly. And then it went to, okay, let's make three to five and then 10. And then, and then once I got to like 15 or 20, 20 K a month profit, it was like, okay, now I want to hit 50. [00:10:00] But by the time that I got to 15, 20, I went through a year of like pushing myself to, to grow the business.

And then towards the end of that, I, I had a reflection and I was like, Oh, shit, this never ends because I know I can get to 50, but once I get to 50, it's going to turn into a hundred or 200 and they'll just continue on. 

Mike: And what's wrong with that? 

Stephen: I think that it, I guess it's in some ways there's nothing wrong with it, but I think what was the root cause of me wanting to make that money?

Right. Because essentially at first the root cause was, okay, I want to be able to just provide for my expenses and living, and then essentially have enough to go live my life and do those things. 

Mike: That's the problem right here. If we go, what is the root cause of a [00:11:00] fly that wants to eat, that wants to land on your food, right?

What would we say? Uh, well, it was, designed that way, right? The food smells good and it wants food. It's hungry. So, what's the root cause of it being hungry? It didn't eat. It's a, it's an animal. It's a, it's a living being. It needs substances. It needs to eat. Right. But imagine like our life is the same way.

Why do we want this? Because we're designed that way. Why does a fly fly and a fish swim? Because it's a fish and it's a fly. And why do I want more? Because I'm human. So the issue is that we're looking for a reason to justify. Why does the plant grow that [00:12:00] way? why does a leaf fall here? why does the wind blow in this way?

Right? It's like we, we can just ask these infinite questions. And ultimately, things are all just happening. Everything is happening. And this happened because of this, because of this, because everything is just because of another causation. And, It's infinite to try to understand. So I think, why would we even need to understand?

The only thing that's getting us to want to understand is our mind that judges and analyzes everything. But imagine if we didn't. What happens if we stop judging and analyzing everything? So then therefore, I want more. Okay, then go get more. And then when I get more, I want more. Okay, go get more. And that continues to happen until I go.

I don't want more. [00:13:00] Okay. Hmm. I want to do something else. Okay. All right. Go, go do something else. And life just unfolds that way. Well, whatever we want, we're okay with whether it's more, whether it's less, whether it's nothing. It's interesting. Right? So therefore, if we go, well, I want to understand that's what I want.

Okay. All right. Then go and understand. So everything is actually fine the way it is, every single thing from a person that wants more to a person that wants less to a person that wants to understand everything to a person who doesn't care. Everything is actually all fine. But of course, this is just one perspective.

Right? And then another perspective of this is the person that goes, well, everything is not fine and I want to find out everything. Okay. Then that also is fine as well. The interesting thing about this is in this perspective, when we can see life in [00:14:00] that way, it gives us a excuse, like a reason to not have to analyze.

And put everything in a box. We don't have to have a reason for everything. And therefore we just do what we want without having to justify it to ourself, because isn't that strange, we want something 

Stephen: and 

Mike: then afterwards and before we go and give ourselves that we have to, if we don't know exactly, we have to justify, can you imagine other beings that would do that, you know, like, A snake who wants to go and eat this rat and has to go and think, should I eat this rat, you know, is it a good thing?

Is it a right thing? Should I go after that? Well, 

Stephen: I, I think life being a human, there's like multi layered, right? Because essentially we're shifting the way that we. Operate in some ways, right? So let's say, for example, though, as a human, you can't just go out and do [00:15:00] whatever you want. There are certain consequences.

So for example, if I'm riding a motorbike and I see a beautiful woman and I get engrossed and I'm like, Ooh, I want to take off her clothes. Right? Then that's where the logical mind will pop in and say, Hey. That's not something you do. So it's like, I I've, but I do understand that aspect, which is like, 

Mike: well, we don't even need to do that.

Stephen: Okay. Go on. 

Mike: The logical mind doesn't need to do that. Because before you even, even if you had an idea, you already know, so therefore a logical mind wouldn't even be on, like it wouldn't even be running. I, you know, if we have to think about it, that means we don't know. Right. 

Stephen: I think what we're talking about here, the difference, but before we thought essentially, I think , there's like the layer of instinct.

And then essentially logic. And then what [00:16:00] we're getting to is essentially knowing. And in that knowing state, it's like, you can't bypass , the thinking of, Oh, I'm not supposed to do that. It's like , the instinct kicks in. It's like, Ooh, but then the knowing is like, we're in a society and then they can, essentially, you can use that one example.

And just talking about all the different aspects of your life. And if we circle back to, let's say like the example, because there's also the aspect of being influenced because essentially. Why do you want what you want? Sometimes I feel it's actually a very just innate and natural inside. It really comes from just your natural expression and how you want to be.

But if of course, as 

Mike: what is not natural, we say natural as if there's another [00:17:00] unnatural, right? What is a non natural thing? 

Stephen: I would say when it is hijacked in some ways by marketing or businesses or something like that, which 

Mike: essentially almost, but everything natural was that everything natural is that though, you know, everything was, when we say hijacked, we're saying true influenced every, every aspect of us is influenced.

Therefore, everything that is natural is actually. unnatural. So therefore there is no natural, unnatural. In reality, it's all the same. We've been influenced ever since the day we were born, even before being born, we were influenced, right? Because in the mothers, in the mother, it's 

Stephen: by the natural laws of things.

Yeah. 

Mike: So. There is no real unnatural, or natural, we try to make it into categories just to, go and see that it's different, but in reality, it's all the same. There's different grades of it, right? Somebody forcing a person's hand versus [00:18:00] a person dropping ideas in their head. And therefore that person does exactly the same thing.

So we try to put it in categories, but they're all still the same. It's all a influence. So if we go all the way back to this, idea of like questioning life, like, uh, your example of, seeing an attractive woman, , you had an idea in your head, but then you wouldn't question it.

You wouldn't go, well, maybe if I did, what would happen? You wouldn't because you already know. So there's no question. Now, imagine a person who doesn't know and they go, well, I want to do that. Okay. And, and then there's no knowing this, that's a bad idea. And you and I agree, it's a bad idea. So, but this person goes, yeah, I want to do that.

And then they do it and then they experienced the consequence.

And let's say something, something happens. Uh, they get attacked by, by the friends around. [00:19:00] And before I know it, they're hurt and they're on the ground. And next time around, fast forward, after they get out of the hospital, uh, you know, now, again, they have this idea, but instantly it's There's a good chance that they're going to know it's not a good idea.

Therefore, there's no questioning. 

Stephen: If we come down to that, that's essentially like conditioning. 

Mike: Yeah, we can say it's conditioning. , it's experiencing. It's Because I think that one of the issues But if we go through life and we don't, and Go ahead.

Stephen: Because if, if it does come down to conditioning, I think that also Essentially, there, there's also an An overall issue with that, which is, some people can be conditioned to feel miserable. Some people can be conditioned to be broke, and just over time, repetitive, repetitive. And so, in their mind, they [00:20:00] know that they're supposed to be like this.

That they're supposed to always be broke. They're supposed to not be attractive. 

Mike: And if they were to not question that, then they would change. At the end, actually, in reality, the only reason why that is happening is because they are constantly questioning it, therefore putting themselves in that hole.

The act of constantly questioning things creates outcomes like that. If a person is constantly Broke by questioning their life. Like when a person is broke, you ask them, what do they want? They're going to say, I want money. I want abundance. They're not going to go. I want to have no money.

They're going to go. I want, I want things, right? I'm broke, but I want things. I wish I wish I want, I want. And if they want that, the only thing that's stopping them. [00:21:00] Is they are questioning their current life right now, instead of going after what they want.

That's what I'm saying. 

Stephen: So I think that that's a huge, and it makes sense because you essentially bypass the maze of the minds, which can be very complex and hard to get out of. Then the question is for people who are, , in general, most of us, a lot of us. Are stuck in mind. How do you bypass the intellect and just go straight to, I want this boom.

We're going to just go for it 

Mike: by coming to the conclusion that whatever we want, we're supposed to want. And we don't doubt our desires anymore. We just give ourselves what we want and things that are [00:22:00] happening are supposed to happen. And we don't resist the things that are happening. We don't make what's happening into a problem and say that it's not supposed to happen.

It's supposed to happen. And now at this moment, while everything in my life is supposed to happen the way it is, what do I want? I want that. Okay, what do I need to do? I need to do this. Okay, so then I focus on doing this, and then I keep focusing on doing this no matter what happens. I keep focusing on doing this and doing this.

Stephen: If we're to tie this in with another principle, which is about selflessness, in this specific one, how do we integrate these two together? Because essentially, with the selflessness, it's one where You don't think about yourself so much, but you focus on serving others. And with this particular one, it's more like, okay, what is it that I want?

And you go for it. [00:23:00] 

Mike: We know what we want. We don't need to question it. People that question it they're just listening to their conscious mind that's debating about things. If they silent that mind down, then they know what they want. And when they know what they want, then they're just focused on the action.

If they focus on the action, then they are not thinking about themselves. They're focused on the action. And when they think, they think about the action, but thinking about action is different than thinking about ourself, like thinking about the action. Like if we are making a plan and we go, okay, so after this, we're going to do this, we're going to do this.

We're going to do this. We're going to go to place A place B place C, and we're going to take this mode of transportation and these people we want to invite to [00:24:00] go. So now who's going to do these things? well We are. I am. You are. But, what are we thinking about? What are we focused on? Right? We're focused on those three places.

We're focusing on the mode of transportation to get there, and we're focused on people that we want to invite to be a part of this. We're not focused on ourself. That's selflessness. People have the confused idea about selflessness. They think that Selflessness is to do things without personal gain.

well You can't stop personal gain. You can't stop it. That's the thing. What is personal gain? Is personal gain just money? No, right? Personal gain is relationship. Personal gain is skills. It's experience. How can we stop these things? [00:25:00] Think about it, right? How can we stop these things? Unless we don't consider that to be personal gain and we think personal gain is just money.

Money, we can stop money and no, no, don't pay me any, don't, don't pay me. I don't want anything, but can we really stop personal gain? Can we say that right? Personal gain is just money. That would be silly. So therefore, can we really stop personal gain when we do something? It's impossible. At the basis of every single thing we do, there is experience, the experience of that thing, and we can't stop that.

So therefore. There will always be personal gain. So selflessness can't be without personal gain because there's always will be. So then when we think about the idea of selflessness, what we're really focusing on here, [00:26:00] what's really happening is that we're not thinking of our self when we are doing something.

That's selfless non self because we're always gaining. So we can't say it's because I'm not gaining anything. That's why it's selflessness. No, you're always gaining, but we can do something without thinking about ourself, without being aware of ourself constantly. When we can do that, that is true selflessness.

And then when we are, 

Stephen: I think that that ties it in very well, , especially around the word being selfish or selflessness, it can be quite confusing out there. Yes. Um, I remember, looking at comments and things like that and people saying, Oh, I just donated it. And, and other people are like, you're just being selfish.

You just want to feel good. It's like, you can't win or you're, [00:27:00] you're posting this. 

Mike: You don't donate. You're a bad person. You donate. You just want to do it for the recognition, the tax write off. You can't win. Not with that approach. And that's where the confusion comes in. But when we recognize that selflessness.

Is when we stop thinking about ourself, when we're constantly not aware of ourself. Now, Whatever we do doesn't matter. Do what you want and don't focus on yourself. And now if we don't focus on ourself, there's no questioning of life. Life is happening and always will be happening. And there's no questioning.

There's only the doing part. There's no questioning. The questioning part doesn't matter if you just donated 10 dollars or a million dollars to a charity. The moment you question it, you've already [00:28:00] created a problem. You're not selfless anymore. 

Stephen: Alright, well I think that wraps up today's episode. We went on another deep dive and in some ways I feel that conversations like this At first, will make you think and ponder about it quite a bit, but afterwards, where the real benefit comes in is when you're able to digest it, understand it, and eventually embody this because Then essentially it's, it's like shifting a completely different perspective from understanding it with your mind to actually just understanding it.

So hopefully you guys enjoyed this episode. Again, if you want to go deep dive and really start to integrate some of the actual practices. That'll get you closer and closer to what Mike and I are talking about. Go check out Mike's website, [00:29:00] flow60. com. All right, guys. See you next time.